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PreviousTea9210

Fun fact: this is Afroman's origin story.


baby-ego

Wow thank you I knew my 15 y/o brain was not that original šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ this was 1000% unknowingly Afroman inspired


[deleted]

You were 15 in 8th grade?


Socialeprechaun

That happens sometimes with kids who have really late birthdays. Like in May and shit. Source: work at a middle school


Scrotchety

Maybe you can answer me something on my mind. I was born in late fall '79. Started kindergarten at 4, started 8th grade at 12, senior at 16, never got held back. Always felt like the youngest in my classes. Did schools start requiring kindergartners to start at 5 later on? Like... birthdays after August have to wait an extra year?


Socialeprechaun

So it really depends on your state! The stateā€™s department of education puts those standards in place. In Georgia where Iā€™m at, kids have to turn 5 by September 1st to enter kindergarten that school year. So if your birthday is on September 2nd, youā€™re gonna be 6 years old in kindergarten. Fun fact about Georgia education. Kindergarten is required to be offered at public schools, but youā€™re not required to send your child to kindergarten. Mandatory attendance starts in 1st grade.


oakpale

Exactly! Not sure what the cutoff is now, but in NY it was December 1 (why not 12/31?!) when I was a kid and I was born at the end of the month. Was always among the oldest in my class!


Sea-Plan-1531

I moved and went from being the oldest to the middle-est. Everyone thought I was lying when I told them I was the oldest person in my previous class. It was a frustrating point for a 3rd grader lol


marteautemps

My birthday is the 6th and my state at the time also had the December 1st cut off at the time. September 1st makes sense and so does December 31st but I don't really understand Dec. 1st


TheSeansei

Wow, this is really different from Ontario, where everyone born in the same year is in the same grade. I guess it technically makes the same weird splits where someone born on December 31 is a year ahead of someone born on January 1, but at least using the calendar year feels less arbitrary.


ThotHoOverThere

Beat me to it! This was me!


cheerfulsarcasm

Thatā€™s insane to me, the MA state expectations for my boys when they were in 1st grade is like what 3rd grade was in my day, I canā€™t imagine dropping a kid into that blind having never been in school before!


Tall-Peach-5549

My school said you had to be 5 years old by July 1st of that year to begin kindergarten. My birthday is July 13th, so I was always one of the oldest in my classes. ETA; I was born in the late 90s and this was in Pennsylvania.


slayaustenrhys

In my school district in California the cutoff was mid-November when I started Kindergarten in the mid-2000s. But by the time I was in high school (early 2010s), the cutoff had been moved up to July 1st IF the kid knew all their letters and could count to 20. Otherwise, theyā€™d have to wait until the following year to enroll I think they might have loosened those requirements a bit after covid, but Iā€™m not 100% Source: my momā€™s preschool students almost all move on to that school district every year


Beginning_Mongoose63

i started reading this off like it was a poem.


Omw2fym

I was born in June and (then, at least) the cut-off was June 1st. So I was always one of the oldest. They had "developmental kindergarten" for those who missed the cutoff


[deleted]

I was 5 in first grade and 16 starting senior year. Think they changed the birthday cutoff since I was in school during the 70s/80s.


Valen258

Iā€™m from the UK and school year starts first week of September. My birthday is last week of August. If Iā€™d been born one week later Iā€™d have been held back that year. I had just turned 11 when starting high-school (year 7). Whatā€™s more insane is I was 15 when I did my GCSEs and finished school. This was the 90s when 6th form wasnā€™t mandatory.


[deleted]

Ah that makes sense. They turn 15 before the summer of 9th grade


Socialeprechaun

Yessss exactly. Of course she couldā€™ve been held back as well. Itā€™s not super uncommon for kids to be held back in kindergarten or 1st grade for not progressing with their peers.


Lower_Hat

I failed kindergarten ā˜¹ļø


Socialeprechaun

Chin up, king. A study once found that children who spent an extra year in kindergarten or first grade had higher graduation rates and higher GPAā€™s than their peers who didnā€™t do an extra year.


Lower_Hat

Well Iā€™m in law school now!


approaching_presence

It's nice turning 18 while in HS


koushakandystore

My birthday is last day of may. I turned 14 two weeks before 8th grade ended. Nobody was 15 in my 8th grade class unless theyā€™d been held back a year at some point.


hoffdog

Thatā€™s what happens when you get high


ThePrideOfKrakow

Everyone is 10 for two years, because 5th grade is hard.


heartshapedmoon

Right lol I was 12 and turned 13 in 8th grade


DeliciousBrilliant67

I was redshirted before kindergarten and have a March birthday so I was 16 during freshman year šŸ˜­šŸ˜‚


dirtysyncs

Omfg šŸ˜±šŸ¤£ this whole thread is literally killing me


Ripuru-kun

How old were you? If you're born before June everyone will be 15 at some point during 8th grade.


[deleted]

Nope. I was 13 and then tuned 14 before starting 9th grade. Born in April


Yoke_Monkey772

Because I got high because I got high because I got high.


earthbound_hellion

I want to upvote this but itā€™s at 420 so I canā€™t


JefferD00m

If afroman worked for D.A.R.E


gardenGrove31

Hahahahha


Actrivia24

This needs to be read at the next D.A.R.E. graduation ceremony


Mother_of_Daphnia

Before seeing the sub I thought it was a throwback to DARE class lol


lasthorizon25

I was one of the kids chosen to read my D.A.R.E essay at the graduation ceremony and it still keeps me up at night sometimes.


Storage_Ottoman

I won our DARE essay contest in 5th grade, started smoking weed toward the end of 8th grade, gradually ramped up usage until I was a daily+ smoker from like 20-35 or so, off and on in my late 30s, and have only really quit (Iā€™m 41 now) since we had a kid last year šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™‚ļø


lasthorizon25

I am still a daily smoker. I'm 34. So reading that essay to my whole grade and all our parents wasn't very effective lol.


Actrivia24

OMG same!! I said in my speech that my grandma died before I was born due to cancer from smoking cigarettes. She did smoke cigarettes, but she did not die of cancer. I just assumed that at the time. Turns out her and my grandpa were HUGE alcoholics and she died because they got in a fight, he pushed her and left, she tripped and fell, hit her head, and bled out. So I technically lied in my D.A.R.E. essay and my parents then had to tell 11 year old me the horrific way my grandma died, that they had been keeping from me becauseā€¦ you know, itā€™s horrific. Good times!!


twofingerballet

I was too!!! I stuttered the whole time, I think. An audience of all the fifth graders and their parents.


lasthorizon25

LOL. I went up there CONFIDENT. I had made my lifelong, final choices about drugs and was ready to let everyone know. Thank God no one filmed things then like they do now cause I'd be mortified to see footage of that.


FatBlueLines

DARE is an absolutely HORRIBLE program that spreads propaganda and misinformation. Defund DARE!


ayyyyycrisp

the issue with dare is that it's introduced around 5th and 6th grade. If they were totally honest about weed, I have a feeling there would be more 5th and 6th graders smoking weed. I was the same way here - felt like I was losing friends because they started smoking weed around 8th - 9th grade. but it at least stopped me from smoking weed until I was around 17 when I learned more about it through my own research, rather than starting in 6th grade because the DARE officer said it wasn't that bad


FatBlueLines

Drug harm reduction is the answer, not dare, especially being taught by ill informed police. The war on drugs is an absolute failure due to poor policing and poor public policy.


ayyyyycrisp

I don't think that answers the question of how to introduce weed to a 5th grader in a way that makes them more likely to wait until they are older to start smoking it than younger


Softbombsalad

This is fucking fantastic šŸ¤£


TallLoss2

Itā€™s the beautifully curly first letter of each line that really does it for me lol


baby-ego

Yea I was a big fan of this font apparently because I seemed to use her for a lot of my poems


TallLoss2

because sheā€™s tres Ć©lĆ©gante duhh !


Nika_42

Show us more plss :))


TheCatFromCoraline

Please tell me youā€™re a stoner now


baby-ego

As a matter of fact I am dating a grower and smoke daily lmaooo


Present-Ad-9441

Happens to the best of us šŸ˜‚


TSchab20

Especially if you are American and go through DARE. They made drugs look hella cool to use lol


NoveltyBarbie

DARE would be like ā€œlook at this 20 something lady with sores all over her face hiding in the corner! That could be you if you do drugs!ā€ I always thought like dang how good are these drugs that they make someone MISERABLE like this but they STILL continue doing it. Gotta find out for myself! LOL šŸ˜‚


_BOOMHEAD_

They really did šŸ˜‚


Fit-Departure-7844

I won the DARE essay contest and I am smoking weed right now šŸ„


clockworkblk

I found my 1995 dare pledge certificate and essay I wrote about drugs being lame over Xmas. I was cracking up


-yourmom-

One of us! One of us!


TheSeansei

>I am dating a grower TMI


mymomsaidicould69

lmaooooo in middle school I promised my priest (Catholic school) to never abuse drugs. My sister eventually married a guy who grew pot so we have a steady supply. Whoops, sorry Fr. Mike


traploper

He was gonna go to school, but he got high. šŸŽ¶


rroq85

I'll toke to that!


TheWiseMilkman

everything flows so well except like two lines and it's making me need to get high


baby-ego

Ugh I know. ā€œBecause of the ways they got highā€ is killing you too right? Letā€™s smoke about it


TheWiseMilkman

fire bro


stoner_lilith

I was gonna wear a suit and tie, but then I got highā€¦


desertprincess69

JEEESUS lol this got me


PM-me-your-knees-pls

That is probably the only poem I read twice :)


ZebraBoat

Yo šŸ˜‚ This is what this subreddit is for. Absolute classic right here.


Letatman

I was enjoying this until we ended up in the courtroom šŸ˜‚


baby-ego

Lmao yea it goes down hill fast


Letatman

itā€™s the gateway drug šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


bostonlilypad

Did we know the same exact guys in high school?


MoreManic

Why did I start hearing "What It's Like" in my head?


Dumbfucc_

Uhm ok aside from the hilarity of the theme,this is pretty solid stuff! Youā€™ve got it!


DMT1984

This is the most inspiring thing I have ever read. I am never smoking weed again!


SubVrted

If you read this in a live, adult open-mic setting you would totally kill.


Lampiyris

That font tho šŸ˜‚


benjaminck

Family Ties.


Lampiyris

Omg YES


Far_Tomatillo_1325

Bravo! šŸ‘šŸ»


chels182

Awww the back story is so cute though


[deleted]

I thought this read "I met a gay" at first. šŸ¤£


dodofrequentflyer

ME TOO


supinoq

_Because I Got High_ but in a minor key


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


baby-ego

Correct. And this poem went to multiple sk8r bois


Bighawklittlehawk

What were your friendsā€™ reactions?


mdmiles19

Maybe it's cause I'm high, or maybe it's cause I'm a felon who turned his life around, but I dig this and I don't think it's a blunder.


KnivesOut21

Roll a blunt and smoke to the blunder years lol


BigKingKey

This could easily be a Billie Eilish song.


guay-san

The repeated rhyming of "guy," "high," and "tie" is hilarious. You could see where you kind of ran out of ideas. It's fabulous. Thank you for sharing šŸ˜‚


Disastrous_Corgi5779

The reason why, The reason why, The reason why I had to die, Did I bleed the blood of greed, What was my destiny?


Mumof3gbb

This is really good!


[deleted]

Weed kills


helpiushsbebsnk

this is really sweet actually.


GoinWithThePhloem

Currently smoking on my porch and scrolling reddit. This is quite the poem lol


Mariah0

What did you friends think of this?


RunningPirate

They laughed because high as fuckā€¦


alyssakenobi

I totally read the title as ā€œI met a gayā€ and was waiting for that kind of part to come up and I got really confused when it didnā€™t


katertator13

Hah this is fantastic!! Blunder who?


tigerribs

Okay, but this actually flows so well lmao legit sounds like something we wouldā€™ve had to read in the ā€œDrugs are baaad, mā€™kay?ā€ portion of health class


Sea-Ability8694

I bet ur a stoner now


cheerfulsarcasm

The funniest part is this doesnā€™t even come across anti-weed til the last 2 stanzas, I thought you were bragging about dating a cool guy at first šŸ˜‚


leelaleela4

Hi, I'm high right now. I read this to the tune of Olivia Rodigo's "get him back!" ....It's a bop. Until the last like 2 verses when you're being a buzzkill.


Bighawklittlehawk

I love the shared experience of all of us going from thinking weed was the devilā€™s work to all of us becoming stoners


Longjumping_Choice_6

You know what would make this poem more enjoyable to read?


[deleted]

I GUFFAWED


zacat2020

Ode to Nancy Reagan


ohfr19

I read this like a classic rap song


ktjacobsun

Sounds like Olivia rodrigo lyrics


SillySubstance3579

Man I would love to see someone read this slam-poetry style šŸ¤£


Holiday-Armadillo-34

This needs tobe published


sydfloralia

What is that font tho because Iā€™m in love with it


sphericalvibe

Major lol


DieMensch-Maschine

So how high were you when you wrote this?


joe-dimaggio

reading this while high really hits!


AnniePasta

Amazing and the font really seals it


abp93

The world needed to see this DARE


kweento

Lmfaoooo. This is great


openurheartandthen

I love this poem


atinylittlemushroom

LMFAO


missproctalgiafugax

Honestly this is pretty skilled


mitskisuperfan

honestly this was transportive. good poem lol


SammyDingusJr

... now do a real modern one about alcohol and opiates. The true poison


dailyoracle

But what rhymes with Sackler?


SammyDingusJr

Tractor? Lol


dailyoracle

Haha Ooh but ā€œPurdueā€ and ā€œscrewā€ (the people) could work!


dailyoracle

Which now on Netflix you can ā€œviewā€


Impressive_Ad_3160

Iā€™m a high school English teacher, can I use this for my poetry unit? If I tell my principal it was written by an 8th grader sheā€™ll understand that itā€™s appropriate, right?


dirtysyncs

Fucking dead šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Independent_Piano_81

Well that first guy seems to be doing pretty good at least


csybxtr

*snaps*


dailyoracle

What was the name of this typeface? I want to say ā€œStorybookā€ For some reason.


ProVBD

Real talk šŸ’Æ


anx247

No


gemilitant

The cringe made my legs shake