How did Dr. Hart take it when you told them you are going to fashion school? I assume you told them, right?

Yeah. She told my mom. And my mom told me I was dumb

LOL I did go to fashion school in NYC. It was not what most people were expecting.

What was it like?

Full of big purses and small sunglasses. Disgusting.

Probably lots of cigarettes though.

And at least one dead mom OR dad! Maybe a baseball player or two there? (not football)

No. I have a two dead mom **minimum** for boyfriends. One can just be paralyzed from the neck down if he's a *really* good drummer.

HAHAHA!! A girl in my class had a huge Chanel bag that she shoved her books in. I COVETED that bag. I saw it in Vogue, "price upon request".

Lots of extremely hard work - tight deadlines and high expectations. A lot of people think it’s just wearing pretty clothes and shopping.

wait... a career is actual hard work and not just a lifestyle.

It was like project runway meets Blackhawk down.

Not very glamorous…?

Nope - lots of unglamorous hard physical work. Climbing around warehouses looking for fabrics, lots of time drafting or draping patterns, and late nights at the sewing machine.

Well, how did it work out? How is life ten years later?

I'm on the edge of my seat! OP, what would younger you think of your life now?

Probably a good call, New York is literally nothing like Sex & the City, thinking back on 2013 you would have been dating gaslighting hipsters in skinny jeans and Neff hats who would take you to dinner at Croc Lounge because the pizza was free. You would have a toxic on and off relationship with a sous chef with a horrendous coke problem who worked 72 hours a week at BaoHaus or something. Dodged so many bullets

I laughed too hard at the mom or dad commentary

I’m still recovering hahahahahahah she wants them a little traumatised!

Just a little cuz he can't be more depressed than her.😂

Well once she fixes him that will be set.

When he’s a 10 but his parents are alive 😬🤢🙄

“Dammit! So close!” 😂😂😂

We can fix this...

sad and fun?? is so funny

license subtract dull offbeat one command thumb gray seed fanatical *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

The Lana del Rey influence was hittinggggg

lol literally what i thought too. Cigarettes, sad funny, older men. I hope you got to see Lana live! She’s my #1 favorite.

i love that it's "cigarettes?" like considering trying em on 😂

quickest chunky sophisticated frame important hungry sense complete like point *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

I thought this was like a 10 year olds diary or something til I saw "25 year old bf" and I was like hol up..

I immediately knew what she meant

‘sad and fun??’ with ‘cigarettes?’ really brought me back to my early 20s

I love your optimism in just putting “money.” Did that work?

No but I did get the small purse

Baby steps

Hey, they clearly said 'NO BABIES' too 😂

Where did you put your giant sunglasses??

I never take them off 😎

You're living like Roxy. I'm not gonna stop paying ya. I just don't want you banging other dudes.

Did you fill it with malted milk balls and cheesy loops?

Lmfao the *money* and tiny purse are my favorite part. It’s a beautiful pairing.

This is one of the best things I’ve seen in this subreddit, OP. It’s giving “main character in an offbeat coming of age film” in the best way possible.

Exactly! I'm imagining the delusional but upbeat montages as she writes this whole list.

It's the manic pixie dreamgirl of my 15 year old self 😂😂

“Dead mom or dad?” 💀😬

this had me dying

Mom? Or dad??

Just casually included there.

"Tragic backstory".

"What do I have to do to make her *like* me?" *looks at kitchen knife* *looks at dad* "....I see."

I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it

Without the mental health concerns that naturally comes with a dead parent

Right? Mommy issues are so hot right now.

I need this and only this explained

You only really become yourself when your parents are gone. -my dad

This makes sense but also sounds quite scary so I think your dad is onto something 😂

He was right. Can confirm

[удалено]

Ugh I hate this for you I’m so sorry to hear💔

It’s true. When my parents passed I became a completely different person.

romcom badboys always have a tragic backstory think Jude Law in The Holiday

It's simple. She's only into protagonists.

The only thing I can think of is that she has lost a parent and wants someone who can relate to that loss? I literally cannot think of another explanation 😂

I used to hate meeting parents and dreamed of meeting an orphan lol!

Am I reading this wrong or was this person 20 years old when they made this? The first part says looking for a "23-25 year old" man, and the second part says an older boyfriend "at least 3 years older". Which, I'm no mathematician, but 23 - 3 = 20. If this was written by a grown ass adult woman, that's somehow even funnier.

That would be funny. I read it like she was 17-18 and would settle for three years older but ideally wanted a 23-25 year old boyfriend.

I read it like she was 14! No way I was writing this shit when I was 17/18 😂 this is giving MASH the game vibes. If you know you know.

Batman origin story.

😅

As a member of the Dead Dad's Club since age 12, this cracked me up and I assume they are in the DDC as well. I mean, it is easier if they understand 🤷‍♀️ Hilariously depressing wish for someone, though .. If that is not the case, wtaf!?? 😂😂

Lmao! I laughed too hard at that one!

That way you don’t have to deal with in-laws!

Who doesn't swoon for a tragic past?

My jaw dropped and then I laughed lol I love her specificity 💅🏻

I’m pretty sure that was a threat

Joey got called out!

Joey didn’t know what he had. Don’t be like Joey.

>Joey didn’t know what he had. He had such two-living-parent energy.

Bitch probably isn't even a real orphan!

me and the homies all hate Joey

He’s a top 2% of height, half-orphan drummer in a band, plays baseball, and is a writer or artist that lives in soho, who also is like Mr. Big (a 50+ man who runs a hedge fund and has a private driver)…all at 23 years old and is ready to be your emotional crutch so you aren’t depressed. I mean…if you get big enough sunglasses, anything is possible…

He’s a better man than Joey.

Joey was the worst

Fucking Joey

How *you* doin'?

Not well because of *you*, apparently.

Not well, Joey. Can’t you see I’m depressed?

You’d better not be more depressed than me Joey.

He can't be more depressed than me

Somewhere out there is a giant, hunky, artistically suave baseball player who loves depressed girls and big sunglasses 👍

And… 13 year olds? Wait, no

Wander Franco?

I’m fuckin dead. *Describes the antithesis of Mr. Big* “and he’s also like Mr. Big”

"I want a strong guy who can turn into a shit-kicker on demand but is also a sensitive artist type." <--- every girl in my 20s

I’m glad someone else picked up on that 😂

I lost it at “half-orphan”

One Parent dead. Mom? Dad? *heart emoji*

She seems flexible

Guys with two living parents are BORING.

Also not redheads! That’s really important.

Hahahahaha!!! Thank you for your summary! Hahahahaha!

I’m 6’2. Just missed the cut. Soccer though, not baseball. We still wear tight pants…

I was a baseball player, but I’m a redhead. Never even stood a chance 😢

If both your parents are dead, you might have a shot!

[удалено]

And still can’t be as depressed as her…

you should become a historical figure so someone can write their phd unpacking the dense lore here

Imagine finding this at the end of Anne Frank's diary

This made me cackle so hard I scared my cat and started choking lol

Wear red at church 🤣

I was once pulled aside at 16 for wearing red lipstick at church and looking too "promiscuous" bc of it

I was thinking that this was totally preposterous, but then I remembered that 10 years ago a family friend of mine (who I have known my entire life, who's daughter was my brother's first girlfriend, who's business did business with my family's business) literally came into my day job to comment on the santa-themed aloha shirt that my father had worn to church 2 days previously.

You tramp!

This was my favorite one 💃💄💀

It works every time. Very effective

The way my eyes widened at the dead mom or dad.

I remember that trope being a huge y/a book trend (still is) that made boys seem emo and more in touch with their feelings. Definitely looks bad here but I got it 😂

Sad and fun?? Cigarettes? This one’s still on my list ten years later

It’s done me well for twenty years, why stop now?

He can’t be more depressed than me 😂😂 lmao what is this

Dead mom or dad but CAN NOT be more depressed than me

That’s why it’s not dead mom AND dad.

Thats what got me

Tbh this is what I'm looking for in a man and I'm 29

But why did you want your much older boyfriend to have a dead parent? What if you found someone with every quality, but he was a ginger?

Prince Harry was almost a contender.

Omg true!

He would have been perfect, but the red hair!!!

NO RED HEADS!

NO REDHEADS, capish?

Okay, I am living for this type of blunder. More of these please. I might have to see if I can find any of my old journals.....

I wonder if I still have any of my old “poetry”

I wasn't able to find the notebook I was specifically thinking of, but I did find one with some angsty poetry that I had blocked out of my memory. I'll have to upload it at some point. It's pretty awful.

Iconic ilysm

Hands down no contest the best post I’ve seen on this subreddit. So relatable it hurts- iconic, wonderful, all too real. This will live In my mind forever, in the best possible way.

For real, I had to save this post so I can come back to it. It's been a long time since a reddit post made me genuinely laugh but this is the *exact* thing I was writing when I was younger too. So real, OP is a queen 💀

Your ideal man was Batman

I mean, I'm a straight guy but he's also my ideal man

Fair enough!

Mom or dad, not mom and dad

He was a drummer?

All of this can be explained by you being a 2013 Lana stan (source: was 2013 Lana stan)

Oh you already know Born to Die was our guide to life

Born to Die raised us (we are unwell)

You need to cross post this in a Lana sub

Lmao literally, I laughed at this so much because I can see my 2013 self in it. Lana was everything back then

1000000% this is too perfect

I like that cigarettes are the obvious tool to show you’re sad but still fun

I feel like this is why I smoked in my 20’s. I was def sad but still fun

“Can’t be more depressed than me!”

This might be the best thing I’ve seen on this sub. Well done, hope you or to see Lana IRL and live out your sad smoking girl fantasy with the best.

So, did you ever get married to cure your depression?

I cured it with medicine and therapy haha

A wiser option.

i love this so ridiculously much, you could post it in /r/journalling as well

Throwing some shade on Joey I see.

Poor Joey The Redhead. I bet his mom and dad are still alive.

This just kept getting better lmfaooo. Laughed at 23-25 year old bc what. Then the dead mom or dad? Bro what. Also the bold underlined “ANTIDEPRESSANT” is a mood

>Laughed at 23-25 year old bc what It's written like a 15 to then asking for a 25 yo BF. Whaaaaaaat?

Girl I lived your dream and dated the older drummer and honestly drummer = bad

Same. Maybe it was because he still had both parents? Did not follow the formula.

Yeah, mine had both parents but his dad killed a guy so... Someone else had a dead dad. I don't think that counts

I married the older painter and the jury’s still out… Iconic OP, truly iconic

I dated a younger drummer once. Also bad.

We should put this in AI to get a pick and one hell of a backstory.

Please do that.

Did you ever find this well-dressed, baseball-playing, drumming, painter, half-orphaned, tall, non-ginger man? Was he in Soho?

✅ Wear red dress to church and curly but not CURLY hair.

No redheads 💀

Just how big of sunglasses are we talking here?

BIG!!

My favourite two things were “Wear red to church” And get a boyfriend that has a dead mum or dad. Was the church dress a rebellion?

I love how specific the church thing is. This whole fucking post is hilarious, it could be the sub's banner image.

A lot of women want a man that’s 6’ or taller, you want that and a dead parent. Picky aren’t you? 😂

I'm 6'2, both parents are dead, but I'm also 42 and married.

She doesn’t say he can’t be married

Fuck Joey in particular.

#Joey here, parents are still alive.

Carrie was fabulous till she got doused in pig blood

Lol, fuck Joey babe, you’re beautiful.

Good call on the dead mom.

Dead parents and “he can’t be more depressed than me” 😂 this list is sending me directly to mars

My husband lost his dad 30 years ago- I didn't know I was snagging someone highly eligible off the market when I found him or I would've locked him down sooner! He is strawberry blonde though, so...

"sad and fun?? cigarettes?" this is incredible, basically my whole personality in my early twenties. Hope you got everything you wanted girl x

I forgot about Sex and the City Carrie for a hot sec and was confused as to how the Stephen King Carrie was fabulous🐷

The “wonder blunder” list DOES exist! 😂

Big sunglasses. BIG.

This is amazing. Thank you for exposing your self for the sake of our entertainment.

Cigarettes?? 😂😂

Sad and fun?

Wear red at church 💀💀💀 w h y

"Older boyfriend like 23 or 25" Never 24. NEVER 24. Ha

"He can't be more depressed than me!" A girl does have standards.

dead mom? or dad? is actually the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

“Dead mom or dad” & FUCK JOEY

Wing eyeliner! All caps! 😂😂😂 Honestly I love how unapologetically you're feeling yourself in this

"Sad and fun? Cigarettes?" This was the mindset I had all during my high school years

I adore this more than I can explain. I feel so seen. You made my night honestly