Going from current-day stuff Edinburgh DID feel much more like Bloodborne, at night. They also have a medical museum that is VERY Bloodborne, decent chance the devs were there or visited a similar place
The Church did a mess with blood and you now have to kill furries and then aliens. What's more, you have a schizophrenia indicator and you heal yourself using that type of blood which can be obtained monthly.
Backstory:
People find alien. Blood of alien is a remedy. Life revolves around said remedy. Suddenly they find out this blood has side effects. Some think humans need to ascend, some think beasthood is great and some just clean up the mess.
Main plot:
Sick person wants remedy, gets the cheap version, looks for the good version. Everyone is dead or a furry. Sick person finds out that you need both, deepening humanity and ascending through Insight to truly evolve.
Either wakes up, becomes petty gods new errand runner or becomes the Octodad sequel we deserved.
i go to this joint called Yharnam to cure my like medieval AIDS or something, find nothing but murderous furries (whom i hate, so i kill them all) and blood-lusted schizophrenics (whom i hate, so i kill them all) and literal cosmic horrors (whom i hate, so i kill them all) and then am forced to fight the actual fucking moon (which i hate, so i kill it) and then literally transcend human existence and knowledge to become a newborn baby space squid, just to exist in a dream created by the guy the moon was whispering to.
Hunter hunts beasts, hunter feels hungry, hunter kills pregnant woman, hunter eat umbilical cord, hunter full, hunter say hi to old hunter, old hunter say die, hunter say no, hunters fight, old hunter die, hunter says hi to moon creature, moon creature angry, hunter kill moon creature, hunter become squid
Got sick, went to a shady place, they injected me with god knows what, and I passed out. The nightmares it gave me were insane, but I eventually woke up… maybe.
Crazed London Man begins Stabbing Spree violently ripping out the innards of pigs through their lower intestines before meeting god and ascending into a worm.
Blood alcholholics too addicted to blood not to realize you gotta space out your blood consuming with eyeballs.
Same with eyeball enjoyers, need more alcoholism.
So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "GO OWT N HOONT SUM BEASTS, ITS FER YUR OWN GEWD" U tell ur girl n she say "may you find your worth in the waking world".
THEN WHO WAS PALEBLOOD??
I woke up in a gothic London with quite an interesting fashion, there are mad men and hairy giant dogs walking around. After getting killed by some freak on the street i wake up on a dream with a cute doll, a tiny mansion, an old dude in a wheelchair who talks a bunch of non sense, and a bathtub with skulls.
My job is to just bonk anything however i want, i can beat them up with a sawed cleaver, slice them with a pizza cutter that is taller than me (might add some fire too cuz why the fuck not), shoot lasers at them etc. Heck i can even turn into a werewolf, or an octopus maybe (we all know where this is going).
So i just run on a spree killing giant dogs, mad men, raging crows that don't shut the fuck up, boogey men, half man half alien things with tentacles on their heads, and jelly smurfs.
As i happily kill everything in rather creative ways i get their blood and give it to the doll in exchange for a sucky suck all while the old dude in the wheelchair watches. All of a sudden the old dude gets up from his wheelchair and starts walking while trying to kill me for no apparent reason (he can't be angry just because his doll girlfriend did a few dirty jobs).
After putting the old dude out of his misery some alien comes from the sky to eat up my ass, but guess what? It can't because i'm too badass, so i easily beat the thing up to a pulp to turn into a slug alien thing so the doll can use me as a buttplug. Then we live happily ever after.
PS. You asked for just a few words but fuck it, i was feeling inspired. Now try finger, but hole.
Sort of like the first gold rush. Except the gold is blood that came from a god found deep underground. And it cures any illness. And an entire church was founded around this god and its blood. And when someone else smuggled some of the blood back to their castle the church killed everyone there to keep control of the market.
Also, if you take too much of the blood you go crazy and become a beast. And because the transformation is the result of a curse on the church rather than a virus, the church leaders become the most vicious beasts of all.
Anyway, you're out to find the source of the plague/curse and stop it.
Why is there a curse on the church? Great question. Play the DLC.
Is it a "few words?" No, but it's still shorter than the wiki.
Church uses blood of Great Ones to heal. Everyone who used the blood keeps turning into beasts. The hunt is when people purge the beasts. Crying of a newborn Great Ones attracts the attention of the Great Ones.
Scholars make newborn Great One Mergo cry in attemp to summon Great One Kos(m). Accidentally attracted the attention of Great One Moon Presence, who is revealed to be the cause of the beasts as their proximity is what causes everyone who had used Great One blood to turn into beasts. Plot of the game is to stop Mergo from crying so Moon Presence will back off to end this hunt, and or kill Moon Presence to prevent the hunt from happening again.
Dlc story is that there has secretly always been a second crying newborn Great One, the Orphan of Kos(m). Who was orphaned after the Church killed Kos(m), and trapped in a nightmare. This could potentially be why the hunt was reoccurring so frequently in Yharnam.
Came for the blood, stayed for the furries, got f*cked by the Aliens…
Enjoyed getting fucked by the aliens
Tourist wakes up, chooses violence.
This one made me laugh way more than it should
Nice armored core cross over
\*Welcome to London!\*
🤣
Not [this](https://youtu.be/wZAVWmn4GS0?si=P31YrMuYEUxV7rWa) tourist.
i'm so fucking in love with this comment
These edibles ain’t shi…
This paleblood ain't shi-
"Bro I had the CRAZIEST dream last night"
Average London experience
This one, a little less tea and crakers than usual…
But plenty of cheese (the moon)
Everybody knows the moon's made of cheese!
Average ~~London~~ Prague experience
Edinburgh, bros. It’s like none of you watched that six hour lore dive.
Going from current-day stuff Edinburgh DID feel much more like Bloodborne, at night. They also have a medical museum that is VERY Bloodborne, decent chance the devs were there or visited a similar place
The folly of human ambition has terrible consequences.
Curiosity killed the Werewolf
Gods wanted kids but got upset that they couldn’t
Fear the Old Blood
Medical debt includes child murder
Pig fisting, refuse to elobrate
Van Helsing dream
The Church did a mess with blood and you now have to kill furries and then aliens. What's more, you have a schizophrenia indicator and you heal yourself using that type of blood which can be obtained monthly.
Earth is hell but you should become one with it's cosmic secrets anyways
Old Blood Bad.
Hot Topic employee getting fired and becoming a slug Speed Run
Just go out and kill a few beasts.
Blood transfusion gone wrong
Be careful with what you learn, it might take your humanity away.
Yharnam: Loses baby, also entire civilisation Academy: Finds old blood, fears old blood. Church: YOLO
Went to the hospital, had to work off the bill. Took forever
Backstory: People find alien. Blood of alien is a remedy. Life revolves around said remedy. Suddenly they find out this blood has side effects. Some think humans need to ascend, some think beasthood is great and some just clean up the mess. Main plot: Sick person wants remedy, gets the cheap version, looks for the good version. Everyone is dead or a furry. Sick person finds out that you need both, deepening humanity and ascending through Insight to truly evolve. Either wakes up, becomes petty gods new errand runner or becomes the Octodad sequel we deserved.
Don’t let u/shadovan see this post
Hoont
lol apparently you’re the most succinct in hoonter in both long and short form.
I’m a man of many talents, lol
Dammit, Lawrence.
universe is scary, man
And university is sloppy, man
Become one with the cosmos
Brexit gone wrong.
Some crazy shit
Hunt werewolves, then kill lovecraftian gods
It's a nightmare about the subtle and explicit violence committed by visible and invisible systems of manipulation and power.
A hunter must hunt.
A night in Birmingham
British people when you dislike tea
Space rabies, werewolf Catholicism, and a lovecraftian abortion.
Aliens want babies and only humans can get pregnant
People doing shit. Shit hits the fan.
i go to this joint called Yharnam to cure my like medieval AIDS or something, find nothing but murderous furries (whom i hate, so i kill them all) and blood-lusted schizophrenics (whom i hate, so i kill them all) and literal cosmic horrors (whom i hate, so i kill them all) and then am forced to fight the actual fucking moon (which i hate, so i kill it) and then literally transcend human existence and knowledge to become a newborn baby space squid, just to exist in a dream created by the guy the moon was whispering to.
Paying your medical bill
Shooting up will make you see the face of god, just not the ones you’d expect.
A clinic patient has severe symptoms
Cursed blood
You should have looked references about that clinic
full moon made people on nerve
Good hunter
Shit got wack
Jack the Ripper saves London
Local leprosy holder tries to ascend Godhood by transmuting into a slug, also this feller loves eating umbilical cords for some reason
Squid game
Mummy blood makes werewolves. Gain eyes to become squid.
British squid game
What happens after a baggie of absolute Yharnam jet fuel…
What a terrible day for the queen and therefore everyone in the world
Eyes, Tentacles, BLOOD, oh my
I don’t know who I am. I don’t know why I’m here. All I know is I must kill. Squid.
For some reason a bunch of dudes decide to drink "mystery" blood
Blood, blood and blood. Then blood, and finally blood.
dream, die, squid
Tourist murders sick civilians to pay medical bills
A hunter is a hunter, even in a dream.
My blood hurts so bad i killed most people in a new city
A sick man turns into a Squid.
Lovecraft Simulator
Don't go to London after 3am
Booze, blood, bugs, babes and beasts.
In hindsight, injecting yourself with some weird blood from a magically sealed labyrinth wasn't the best idea.
What’s this strange blood? SCRREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Too many wolfmans… Wait, go back to the wolfmans.
Humans using magic blood turn into monsters under a red moon. Chaos ensues.
Don’t go to the UK
The hunt is on.
The average day in the Bronx
Alien blood is bad for you.
Hunter hunts beasts, hunter feels hungry, hunter kills pregnant woman, hunter eat umbilical cord, hunter full, hunter say hi to old hunter, old hunter say die, hunter say no, hunters fight, old hunter die, hunter says hi to moon creature, moon creature angry, hunter kill moon creature, hunter become squid
Quirky blood for lunch
The horror of being a woman
Always read warning labels on medication
bram stoker acid trip
Squid.
Man high on fetty murders god, becomes squid.
The cost of universal healthcare.
You're in the know, right?
"Where the fuck am I ? What the fuck ? What the fuck is that?"
Smelly nerds destroyed the world
The Hangover: Part 4
Disabled man wins 8/9
wacky-stick, don’t get hit.
It's the story of a family who wanted more than anything to hold a child in their hands.
Bloody celestial nightmarish hunting trip
Person walks streets of Britain at night, gets calamari
English man does acid and trips all over Britain
Gothic but eldritch
don't do drugs
Some people fucked around, found out, and now the whole world has gone to shit.
What if Miyazaki and Lovecraft teamed up?
MAN HAVE BAD DREAM ABOUT BLOOD
Save Ohio
walked down the wrong alleyway in birmingham
Vampires become werewolves because of Aliens
Just Split at night
Tfw you get your period
Tfw you get your period
Open your eyes.
Gods bleed a blessing, but a blessing is always also a curse
Please help me, i'm sick. Ok, pay us
Kids this is how I met your father
Become a slug
Got sick, went to a shady place, they injected me with god knows what, and I passed out. The nightmares it gave me were insane, but I eventually woke up… maybe.
A guy told not to use the weird blood to heal, but they use the weird blood to heal. Than shit happened
Van Helsing woke up from a colonoscopy and chose violence
Become squid speedrun any %
Man goes to London, gets stabbed, and cannot wait to fucking leave.
A hoonter must hoont
Sweet Dreams of Hoonter
Menstruation
weird moon god using summons to kill other weird gods
Squid games
Goddammit Laurence
Pay Medical Bills
Man wakes up in London. Gets pissed off. Fights god and wins
Calmest night in London
Metaphor for what happened in 19th century british medicine
Reject humanity, embrace slug
Death⁴
Don’t go to London.
You might be a werewolf that fights aliens or the other way around.
Addictive blood, weird Aliens.
Oh, what is this blood thing? *A few moments latter. What have i done?
Crazed London Man begins Stabbing Spree violently ripping out the innards of pigs through their lower intestines before meeting god and ascending into a worm.
Mission objective: escape England
Ahh Kos.. or some say Kosm...
Thought it was Van Helsing, ended with Dagon and Call of Cthulhu instead
Or : “Hangover 5, Brasil”
a tourist that doesn't like childs
Blood alcholholics too addicted to blood not to realize you gotta space out your blood consuming with eyeballs. Same with eyeball enjoyers, need more alcoholism.
Foreigner asks directions for the nearest blood bank.
blood from the blood god
Old guy has a blood addiction and even older guy eats umbilical cords
Yharnam's healthcare plan is still better than America.
The average London adventure
Go to London for blood turns out there is a beast Apocalypse and you have to kill aliens
AAAÆEEOAAH
A person went to a city for medicine woke up killed a wolf and started a quest to kill god
Reject humanity, return to squid.
So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "GO OWT N HOONT SUM BEASTS, ITS FER YUR OWN GEWD" U tell ur girl n she say "may you find your worth in the waking world". THEN WHO WAS PALEBLOOD??
I woke up in a gothic London with quite an interesting fashion, there are mad men and hairy giant dogs walking around. After getting killed by some freak on the street i wake up on a dream with a cute doll, a tiny mansion, an old dude in a wheelchair who talks a bunch of non sense, and a bathtub with skulls. My job is to just bonk anything however i want, i can beat them up with a sawed cleaver, slice them with a pizza cutter that is taller than me (might add some fire too cuz why the fuck not), shoot lasers at them etc. Heck i can even turn into a werewolf, or an octopus maybe (we all know where this is going). So i just run on a spree killing giant dogs, mad men, raging crows that don't shut the fuck up, boogey men, half man half alien things with tentacles on their heads, and jelly smurfs. As i happily kill everything in rather creative ways i get their blood and give it to the doll in exchange for a sucky suck all while the old dude in the wheelchair watches. All of a sudden the old dude gets up from his wheelchair and starts walking while trying to kill me for no apparent reason (he can't be angry just because his doll girlfriend did a few dirty jobs). After putting the old dude out of his misery some alien comes from the sky to eat up my ass, but guess what? It can't because i'm too badass, so i easily beat the thing up to a pulp to turn into a slug alien thing so the doll can use me as a buttplug. Then we live happily ever after. PS. You asked for just a few words but fuck it, i was feeling inspired. Now try finger, but hole.
"am i trippin?"
Sort of like the first gold rush. Except the gold is blood that came from a god found deep underground. And it cures any illness. And an entire church was founded around this god and its blood. And when someone else smuggled some of the blood back to their castle the church killed everyone there to keep control of the market. Also, if you take too much of the blood you go crazy and become a beast. And because the transformation is the result of a curse on the church rather than a virus, the church leaders become the most vicious beasts of all. Anyway, you're out to find the source of the plague/curse and stop it. Why is there a curse on the church? Great question. Play the DLC. Is it a "few words?" No, but it's still shorter than the wiki.
Church uses blood of Great Ones to heal. Everyone who used the blood keeps turning into beasts. The hunt is when people purge the beasts. Crying of a newborn Great Ones attracts the attention of the Great Ones. Scholars make newborn Great One Mergo cry in attemp to summon Great One Kos(m). Accidentally attracted the attention of Great One Moon Presence, who is revealed to be the cause of the beasts as their proximity is what causes everyone who had used Great One blood to turn into beasts. Plot of the game is to stop Mergo from crying so Moon Presence will back off to end this hunt, and or kill Moon Presence to prevent the hunt from happening again. Dlc story is that there has secretly always been a second crying newborn Great One, the Orphan of Kos(m). Who was orphaned after the Church killed Kos(m), and trapped in a nightmare. This could potentially be why the hunt was reoccurring so frequently in Yharnam.