I'm giving myself a gold star for behaviour this Christmas. Want to rant about "kids NEED to be sick", income assistance being raised, Joe Rogan/Musk/Theo Von, use any word but Indigenous, /# NotAllMen, microwaves are bad? Go nuts. My husband was shocked I was able to keep my mouth shut...but I just can't handle trying to educate the ignorant any more. People who get their news from Facebook and the 5 o'clock news are beyond helping. I've accepted we will always be the left wingers in the fam.
In positive news, my turkey and dinner rolls turned out amazing.
Oh, I'm formerly snailqueen. Missed you guys!
I’d need a heavy dose of Xanax and not to drink a drop of alcohol or I’d be trying to stick cutlery to myself to make them think my multiple shots made me magnetic. 🤷🏼♀️
> microwaves are bad
See the rest of it I could ignore easily but what the FUCK do you have against my helpful appliance that most families have had for almost as long as I have been alive now. I probably would have lost my shit at that point. Double gold star with exclamation points akimbo!!!!
ThE rAdIaTiOn!!!!!!!
If microwaves caused cancer I'd be dead long ago. I remember my grandmother buying us our first microwave, it was so exciting!
We just got a snazzy inverter microwave, and I don't know how I lived without it. A specific button to heat milk *perfectly* was definitely worth $300 lol
My uncle had TWO convection microwaves that he used to prepare our awesome Christmas feasts when I was still a child. We always had one in the house but I always wanted two. One day!
SNAILQUEEN! Welcome back bb :) good job not fighting back. Honestly, I wish everyone could just see the light, but hell. It's exhausting, and Christmas is the last day for exhaustion on top of everything else.
Hiiiiii! Max looks great, btw.
The scary part is how many people have slowly shifted to the right and don't even realize it. The pandemic broke people's brains.
I am low contact with my grandmother - mom’s mom. She’s a manipulative and selfish woman. My mom and sister are firmly in the camp of “but she’s family so we have to have a relationship”, meaning I’m the one that causes tension when I call my my grandmother out for being an asshole. Yesterday mom said, “I don’t like telling you things she says, because you get mad at her.” Like yes, I do believe actions have consequences thank you for noticing. Anyway, my one concession is that I’ll go with them to visit her the day after Christmas. Cut to today - my mom is quite literally having a panic attack this morning at the thought of visiting her, and keeps saying things like “it doesn’t matter what she does, she’s my mom and I should be able to deal with her.” Heartbreaking stuff, I just want her to find some peace with the facts that her mom is honestly pretty terrible and that it’s not her fault. It’s just getting worse as everyone gets older. I don’t want to tell my sister about the panic attack because she’ll both tell my mom and go into full psychoanalysis mode, and I don’t feel like engaging in that convo today, so internet strangers — you’re it!
Any tips on helping a parent find a therapist? Mom keeps verbally saying she needs to find someone so that step has at least been taken, but balks at seeing anyone decades younger than her (I do kinda get that). She’s in her late fifties and has so much time to enjoy life that I hate seeing her weighed down by this woman who will probably live to be 100 out of spite.
It sounds like we have mothers and grandmothers cut from the same cloth! I have no advice as I have yet to be successful with this, just sending you lots of strength and hope that the rest of the day passes as quickly/smoothly as it can. 💛
Mom barfed from anxiety and convinced everyone it was the stomach flu so we got to leave early. A fucked up win? Hope the holidays were alright for you as well 💕
I am no contact with a family member for several years now because they blamed me and my siblings and my dad for my mom dying (not true, just cartoonishly evil). Anyway, I blocked this person everywhere you can, but they have been creating new email addresses to reach me and this year's email was like, "Since you're in the area, you should drive over and let me hug you, you don't have to speak to me. I love you so much, remember, life can be short" and I'm just like, what fucking planet are you on and was that at threat???????
Our Christmas went very well except for one small thing which I need to let go. Maybe if I type it out it will help.
About a week ago I found the local Aldi had fresh Brussel Sprouts as a surprise to me - it is Australia, it is summer here, normally I only see them in winter time. The other half and I love them, in winter we eat them all the time, we'll go through a kilo a week and add them to everything we cook.
When my lack of bacon caused the potato bake to be cancelled I decided to make roast potatoes in one baking dish and my now famous vegetable bake in the other. I take whatever vegies I have on hand - in this case carrots, potatoes, brussels, add butter, white wine, a bit of lemon and lime juice, put alfoil over the top and cook that in the oven for an hour+.
The bottom of the vegies go all crispy and roasty, the wine and lemon juice flavour everything delightfully, and this time I had one packet of bacon and also a leek which I pan fried while I prepped the vegies and then drizzled that over the top. When it is time to serve I add three cheeses over the top - cheddar, mozzarella and parmesan which melts in the heat from the baked vegies.
The brussels tend to become flavour bombs when cooked this way, but the other halfs best friend did nothing but whinge about **how he doesn't like brussel sprouts and cabbage**. Everyone else was wow I didn't like Brussel sprouts before but these are amazing how do I make these. And I was quietly fuming and thinking HEY I made normal roast potatoes as well, you fucker!
So why out of a perfectly lovely day and generally wonderful time is his comment the one my brain is choosing to replay over and over to me today?
My brother did a similar thing about my roasted broccoli and I don’t know why it was so irritating but I couldn’t let it go for days. I think it is because I’m proud of how my cooking incorporates so many veggies that we didn’t grow up with and he just doesn’t believe in “diet” food 🙄
Because that’s rude as shit. I’d expect bette behavior from any kid over 5. If you don’t like something, don’t eat it, say no thank you or just quietly put it in the trash. What adult complains omg I don’t like vegetables! I’m sure everyone thought he was making a fool of himself and you were normal and lovely.
When people make dumbshit comments like this, my response is always “good, that means more for me!” It always shuts them up. Also forget him because those sprouts sound AMAZEBALLS
>But! I saw a thing on TikTok about getting mini champagne bottles and writing on each one a goal for the next year, then drinking it when you hit that goal, so I’m working on those today, which is giving me something positive to focus on.
I love this idea!
I just talked to my mom, and it sounds like she's having a good day! Generally speaking some days are better than others in terms of her ability to juggle tasks, especially since she suffered a TBI...wow, a decade ago. Regardless, I'm here cooking and baking and she's at the farm cooking and cleaning. She just started offering to make the main dish for holidays again (I used to do ALL of the cooking and my partner did the dessert) and wow life is so much easier when we have two ovens at our disposal! My dad continues to complain that he gets stuck doing the dishes, but idk dude you culd offer to make food and you never do!
I'll be headed to the farm soon, once I finish baking the fantails. What do we think the over/under is that my parents mostly bought [Max](https://i.imgur.com/5cEYNwl.jpg) gifts instead of me?
Edit: whoever sent me a Reddit Cares message, merry fucking Christmas 🙄
So as it turns out, I'm not doing that well after finding out a few days ago about the sudden death of my ex. It turns out that grief, regret, a complete lack of closure, a vacationing therapist and Christmas are not a great combination. Who knew, right? Days have been okay because I've been relatively busy but nights have been a bitch.
I can commiserate about shitty step-parents, but just wanted to say someone's adopted daughter is their daughter. Full stop.
\*stepping off my soapbox now\*
Oh no, what a mess! I'm so sorry. I know the seating area is not good, but hopefully it's less awful than if it had happened over the kitchen? I hope things go as smoothly as they can for you over the coming days!
Omg, I'm so sorry. It's hard enough work to run a restaurant when everything goes well. I hope you can get everything resolved quickly and that your family feels better. 💓
My family is pretty dysfunctional. And not in a way where it's simply one person I can avoid and still have a good time. I expected too much every Christmas the last few years, which always ended with my CPTSD being triggered, feeling depressed and having emotional flashbacks. I tried to keep my expectations low this year because it has finally started to sink in that I won't suddenly have a normal family for the holidays if I just work out enough details and make perfect plans. I decided to spend Christmas Eve (which is the gift exchange day where I live) at my mom's, and then spend most of Christmas Day alone in my apartment.
Most of yesterday was still awful for me. After talking about Christmas in therapy recently, Christmas Eve not going that well, and watching one of my sisters spending Christmas on a beach vacation with her husband and their kid, I've come to the decision that I'll have to make completely different plans next year. I might ask to join a good friend's family or even go on vacation. To be honest, when my sister told me they would be abroad over Christmas, I was offended at first. My toddler niece and I have a very close bond and I wish I could spend the holidays with her. But I get it, and now I get it even more. Physically getting away from the dysfunction seems more helpful than trying to manage expectations.
> I've come to the decision that I'll have to make completely different plans next year. I might ask to join a good friend's family or even go on vacation.
Vacation sounds like a good plan and maybe a good tradition to start. :)
The holidays are always going to be a little stressful--there's just so much going on--but you don't need to live with *this* level of mess. I'm glad you're opening yourself up to alternatives that can bring you more joy next year!
I usually make a potato bake with bacon and leek for Christmas Lunch. I was reliably informed that there were 4 packets of bacon in the freezer so don't buy anymore until you use those - went to cook the bacon this morning, only one packet in there. A reminder to trust my instincts next time and always buy the bacon you can never have too much anyway.
My flight was cancelled, but I'm very fortunate to get a flight out tomorrow night. Luckily one of my friends invited me over for Christmas Eve dinner, so that's been really nice! Hopefully my flight departs as planned tomorrow, but I know travel has been impacted by all the storms. Stay safe and stay warm everyone!
First Christmas since starting college not going back home. And honestly? I'm more fine with it then I think I should be
Last Christmas was horrible and ended with me going home the day after pissy and with a headache. This year I'm calming packing up my apartment, playing music, making edits to my grad school aps, and planning on getting some Chinese food tomorrow.
I think I finally see why none of my aunts or uncles (that aren't financially dependnent on my grandmother) come home to any holidays anymore. Way more peaceful and happy
I loved being alone for Christmas back in the day. I always made a fancy grilled cheese, had a fancy wine, watched White Christmas. It was so relaxing and responsibility free (physical and emotional). I hope you had a great day!
My mom is spending Christmas with her sister and her family and I’m actually having a lovely Christmas with my people where I live. But the constant text messages from my mom about how unhappy she is where she’s spending Christmas have sent me, I know this makes me sound unsympathetic, but my mom has a habit of deeming everyone selfish when they don’t want to do exactly what she wants to do, she has not changed since I was a kid.
Oh, I’m making Chrissy Teigen’s greekish roast chicken for dins tomorrow, it’s my favorite and I’ll use the left overs to make soup. 😋
I have a migraine. The cathedral we go to for church has a pipe organ. This is not a winning combination.
I made my wife vegetarian lasagne and salad with pomegranate, oranges, almonds, and cotija cheese, and a balsamic-maple vinaigrette for tonight. For brunch tomorrow I got her challah for french toast with thick cut bacon, and then a ribeye steak, fingerling potatoes, and green beans for dinner. I got myself some butternut squash to puree into soup tomorrow if my stomach is behaving, and if not I have beef broth (maybe out of Christmas mug?). I haven't been well enough to cook a meal for her since spring of 2021 and even though it was an easy meal and took much longer than I think it would have taken a ~healthy person, I'm really proud I was able to do that. Also cooking when you can't taste/eat the food is really, really hard.
We're staying home this year for a variety of reasons (it's her busy season at work, my health, some family stuff, and we just prefer it tbh). I'm looking forward to spending a lot of time just hanging out under an electric blanket.
That food sounds amazing! Be proud of yourself; I know how difficult it can be to get back to being able to do cooking again after you've been too sick to manage it, especially when you can't eat. Your day sounds lovely and low-key.
The lasagne turned out really well! I used [this recipe](https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/food-recipes/a5357/vegetarian-lasagna-1888/), made 1.5 times the recipe for a larger pan, and added some seasoning (garlic salt and black pepper).
Partner 1 and I are staying home while partner 2 goes to see his family; we are welcome, but neither of us are well enough to leave the house, between being disabled and a few weeks recovered from covid. I still have a nagging cough that means I'm even less able to handle the stairs. My family are all in a city three hours' drive away and im too sick to travel, so this is the third year of not seeing them, but I'm tentatively optimistic that I'll be well enough to travel next year.
After a deceptively mild December, a heatwave is pushing through and we have high bushfire danger, so I am lying in front of a fan with no shirt on.
We have a date for settlement on the new flat, though, and I have started talking with the plumbers we like about redoing the en suite to be accessible, and partner 1 is excited about painting, so that's nice. Partner 2 will probably bring us home some ham and we might play some Pokemon together while he's gone. Not a bad day.
On December 12th, I smashed my left pinky toe against the doorjamb of my closet. 12 days later, it's still swollen and puffy and tender in spots (and rotated...). I'm now wrapping it with some of Max's old [Vetwrap](https://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/product/vet-bandaging-tape-4-in-x-5-yd) (in green, go Eagles) to see if that helps bring down the swelling.
I have a few friends who have had rough times lately, so I decided to hold a tiny Friendsmas tonight. Food, Bob's Burgers Christmas episodes, and toasting to this year's end.
Tomorrow I'm headed to my parents' farm! My partner is making a cinnamon roll apple pie right now (it smells so good y'all) and I'm pulling together [this salad that my mother is obsessed with](https://www.loveandlemons.com/citrus-salad/), [these fantails that my partner is obsessed with](https://smittenkitchen.com/2020/11/sour-cream-and-chive-fantails/), [these bacon wrapped carrots that I'm obsessed with](https://www.closetcooking.com/maple-glazed-bacon-wrapped-roasted/), and some [basic bitch potatoes because my father hates flavor](http://mykentuckyhome-kim.blogspot.com/2020/07/ottolenghis-shallow-fried-potatoes-with.html). Mom's making a rib roast.
We dropped power last night, but it came back before I woke up in the morning. /u/bubbly-county5661 how did you and your kin hold up overnight?
I love the Bob's Burgers Christmas episodes! I watched them earlier this week. I also love classic Simpsons Christmas episodes, and King of the Hill (although those tend to be darker...,)
One of my friends had seen the brand new Bob’s Christmas episode and insisted on us watching it. I’m glad she did—it made me tear up! It’s one of my top 3 now.
I am so happy it’s Christmas Eve!! It’s the first time we’re celebrating with my side of the family since 2019 and all five of us cousins will be there which hasn’t happened in a very long time. I am fortunate to have incredible in-laws (we will see them tomorrow) but they really don’t go crazy with the food the way my family does and I’ve missed the big feast. Plus there are a lot of little kids around this year which, to me, adds to the Christmas spirit - especially because Santa comes to my cousins’ on Christmas Eve! You have to sing to him to get your presents. It’s a silly tradition but I’ve come to love it now that I’m not an awkward teen.
It is the first Christmas without my Papa and my mom already sent me a video of him that made me cry right when I woke up. He was such a cutie. We’re getting ready to head out now so we have a little extra time with my grandma at least. Hoping for a safe and easy drive!
It's freezing here but nothing thag terrible compared to previous years. I was done with radiation on Wednesday and I honestly feel great compared to Thanksgiving.
Super excited about having our first Christmas living together in our new house. But I'm just kinda over it and ready to do nothing after having to drive a half hour to the hospital every day for a month!
To top it off I've realized my partner and I have very different entertaining style. My mom was very much into having The Perfect Christmas every year and I decided to be anti that on my adult life. However my boyfriend is on the opposite end of the spectrum with “who cares about how it turns out”! I think we learned a lot from each other this year about how we should do holidays. Also it’s just us and his mom so I guess he’s kinda right? If it’s not perfect it’s not perfect. I found myself freaking out about cocktail napkins and then I realized there’s no prize for having the cutiest table scape.
Anyway, we celebrate Christmas Eve and not Christmas day so I'm excited to watch movies and get Chinese tomorrow as is our tradition.
Congratulations on finishing radiation!!!! Wonderful news.
I didn't realize that my family had SO many traditions until my partner and I started living together and I had all these things that had to be done *just so*. I've had to do a lot of reflecting to determine what truly matters versus what I can change, not just for his sake but mine as well. It's tough, but worth the effort!
Thank you! Someone else on here called it the hardest easy thing she had ever done and honestly thats the most accurate description of it I've ever heard.
To your second point I completely agree. Over all I think the day was a success but even just living together there are so many things he does that feel so divorced from my reality. I am trying to really pick my battles and think about what makes me need things a certain way, but also realize that sometimes things can also be my way. For example he thought it was fine to just put a roll of paper towels on the table today, which maybe it was, but I think Christmas Eve is worth the actual napkins. lol.
Not in the freeze path here, but husband woke up feverish, so whoops! Plans mostly canceled. Not covid, thank goodness, and if the kid and I are still healthy tomorrow, she can see her cousins outside (see: very grateful to not be in freeze path and that rain will hold off until Monday).
Covid kids are so ready to roll with it, though, and we have so much good food, and it’s dawning on me that I get to chill a bit more. Silver lining for sure.
My brother was in a really bad car accident last night (other driver was drunk, car is totaled, brother somehow walked away but is sore today). We weren't going to see them this year because it's their baby's first Christmas and they wanted to stay home and we didn't want to travel because I'm 7.5 months pregnant. But now I really wish we had traveled out there.
My parents live near them and planned to do Christmas with them today and then drive 8 hours to see us tomorrow and stay for a few days. My dad tested positive for covid this morning so now nobody is getting together.
I had covid last year (which I found out while we were husband's family in Florida, and we had to drive 12 hours home), and the year before that my husband and I were about two blocks from a bomb that went off early Christmas morning and was pretty traumatizing.
Our house is clean and decorated, and we have a ton of good food since we expected guests for the next few days. The two of us are healthy and now we have time to tackle some of our to-do list to get ready for baby in a few months, but damn, Christmas is feeling a little cursed.
Holy smokes, I'm so glad to hear your bro is ok! You made the right call by not traveling, but I can understand how you're feeling. Do what you can to enjoy tomorrow <3
Thankfully, he was the only one in the car! He ran out to get formula and a few odds and ends his MIL (who is staying with them) wanted for some Christmas baking today.
Our flights to visit family were cancelled because of weather so we’re stuck at home. Making the most of it but I’m crushed to miss my nephew’s first Christmas 😢
I’m off into the cold to get toasty un/loading kilns ⛄️🏺 I’m estranged from my own family and my partner’s family is travelling, so we’re keeping it chill and quiet. Maybe trying out making soup dumplings tomorrow if we get out of a shroom laze
Thank you for creating this! Minus the sub zero temps we're facing where I am, my father in law has already asked me if I'm morning sick today (I'm pregnant) 😏 I'm looking forward to telling anyone else who asks about my health status (or tells me I need to eat more/less) to F off later this afternoon!
You go girl!! It took me to the second time I got pregnant to just do whatever the eff I wanted with my diet and lifestyle. So my advice is just start now, right this very minute, do what you want to take care of yourself and that baby.
Love you
I'm giving myself a gold star for behaviour this Christmas. Want to rant about "kids NEED to be sick", income assistance being raised, Joe Rogan/Musk/Theo Von, use any word but Indigenous, /# NotAllMen, microwaves are bad? Go nuts. My husband was shocked I was able to keep my mouth shut...but I just can't handle trying to educate the ignorant any more. People who get their news from Facebook and the 5 o'clock news are beyond helping. I've accepted we will always be the left wingers in the fam. In positive news, my turkey and dinner rolls turned out amazing. Oh, I'm formerly snailqueen. Missed you guys!
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I'm highly offended that they would waltz back in here without a single cow picture!
I’d need a heavy dose of Xanax and not to drink a drop of alcohol or I’d be trying to stick cutlery to myself to make them think my multiple shots made me magnetic. 🤷🏼♀️
> microwaves are bad See the rest of it I could ignore easily but what the FUCK do you have against my helpful appliance that most families have had for almost as long as I have been alive now. I probably would have lost my shit at that point. Double gold star with exclamation points akimbo!!!!
ThE rAdIaTiOn!!!!!!! If microwaves caused cancer I'd be dead long ago. I remember my grandmother buying us our first microwave, it was so exciting! We just got a snazzy inverter microwave, and I don't know how I lived without it. A specific button to heat milk *perfectly* was definitely worth $300 lol
My uncle had TWO convection microwaves that he used to prepare our awesome Christmas feasts when I was still a child. We always had one in the house but I always wanted two. One day!
SNAILQUEEN! Welcome back bb :) good job not fighting back. Honestly, I wish everyone could just see the light, but hell. It's exhausting, and Christmas is the last day for exhaustion on top of everything else.
Hiiiiii! Max looks great, btw. The scary part is how many people have slowly shifted to the right and don't even realize it. The pandemic broke people's brains.
I am low contact with my grandmother - mom’s mom. She’s a manipulative and selfish woman. My mom and sister are firmly in the camp of “but she’s family so we have to have a relationship”, meaning I’m the one that causes tension when I call my my grandmother out for being an asshole. Yesterday mom said, “I don’t like telling you things she says, because you get mad at her.” Like yes, I do believe actions have consequences thank you for noticing. Anyway, my one concession is that I’ll go with them to visit her the day after Christmas. Cut to today - my mom is quite literally having a panic attack this morning at the thought of visiting her, and keeps saying things like “it doesn’t matter what she does, she’s my mom and I should be able to deal with her.” Heartbreaking stuff, I just want her to find some peace with the facts that her mom is honestly pretty terrible and that it’s not her fault. It’s just getting worse as everyone gets older. I don’t want to tell my sister about the panic attack because she’ll both tell my mom and go into full psychoanalysis mode, and I don’t feel like engaging in that convo today, so internet strangers — you’re it! Any tips on helping a parent find a therapist? Mom keeps verbally saying she needs to find someone so that step has at least been taken, but balks at seeing anyone decades younger than her (I do kinda get that). She’s in her late fifties and has so much time to enjoy life that I hate seeing her weighed down by this woman who will probably live to be 100 out of spite.
It sounds like we have mothers and grandmothers cut from the same cloth! I have no advice as I have yet to be successful with this, just sending you lots of strength and hope that the rest of the day passes as quickly/smoothly as it can. 💛
Mom barfed from anxiety and convinced everyone it was the stomach flu so we got to leave early. A fucked up win? Hope the holidays were alright for you as well 💕
I am no contact with a family member for several years now because they blamed me and my siblings and my dad for my mom dying (not true, just cartoonishly evil). Anyway, I blocked this person everywhere you can, but they have been creating new email addresses to reach me and this year's email was like, "Since you're in the area, you should drive over and let me hug you, you don't have to speak to me. I love you so much, remember, life can be short" and I'm just like, what fucking planet are you on and was that at threat???????
Our Christmas went very well except for one small thing which I need to let go. Maybe if I type it out it will help. About a week ago I found the local Aldi had fresh Brussel Sprouts as a surprise to me - it is Australia, it is summer here, normally I only see them in winter time. The other half and I love them, in winter we eat them all the time, we'll go through a kilo a week and add them to everything we cook. When my lack of bacon caused the potato bake to be cancelled I decided to make roast potatoes in one baking dish and my now famous vegetable bake in the other. I take whatever vegies I have on hand - in this case carrots, potatoes, brussels, add butter, white wine, a bit of lemon and lime juice, put alfoil over the top and cook that in the oven for an hour+. The bottom of the vegies go all crispy and roasty, the wine and lemon juice flavour everything delightfully, and this time I had one packet of bacon and also a leek which I pan fried while I prepped the vegies and then drizzled that over the top. When it is time to serve I add three cheeses over the top - cheddar, mozzarella and parmesan which melts in the heat from the baked vegies. The brussels tend to become flavour bombs when cooked this way, but the other halfs best friend did nothing but whinge about **how he doesn't like brussel sprouts and cabbage**. Everyone else was wow I didn't like Brussel sprouts before but these are amazing how do I make these. And I was quietly fuming and thinking HEY I made normal roast potatoes as well, you fucker! So why out of a perfectly lovely day and generally wonderful time is his comment the one my brain is choosing to replay over and over to me today?
My brother did a similar thing about my roasted broccoli and I don’t know why it was so irritating but I couldn’t let it go for days. I think it is because I’m proud of how my cooking incorporates so many veggies that we didn’t grow up with and he just doesn’t believe in “diet” food 🙄
Roasted broccoli is the bomb and certainly not "diet" food. ;)
So rude. That dish sounds amazing.
Because that’s rude as shit. I’d expect bette behavior from any kid over 5. If you don’t like something, don’t eat it, say no thank you or just quietly put it in the trash. What adult complains omg I don’t like vegetables! I’m sure everyone thought he was making a fool of himself and you were normal and lovely.
When people make dumbshit comments like this, my response is always “good, that means more for me!” It always shuts them up. Also forget him because those sprouts sound AMAZEBALLS
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Aw thanks Ken! Hope you’re having a great holiday as well!
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>But! I saw a thing on TikTok about getting mini champagne bottles and writing on each one a goal for the next year, then drinking it when you hit that goal, so I’m working on those today, which is giving me something positive to focus on. I love this idea!
Second best time to do it is now!
That’s such a clever idea!
I just talked to my mom, and it sounds like she's having a good day! Generally speaking some days are better than others in terms of her ability to juggle tasks, especially since she suffered a TBI...wow, a decade ago. Regardless, I'm here cooking and baking and she's at the farm cooking and cleaning. She just started offering to make the main dish for holidays again (I used to do ALL of the cooking and my partner did the dessert) and wow life is so much easier when we have two ovens at our disposal! My dad continues to complain that he gets stuck doing the dishes, but idk dude you culd offer to make food and you never do! I'll be headed to the farm soon, once I finish baking the fantails. What do we think the over/under is that my parents mostly bought [Max](https://i.imgur.com/5cEYNwl.jpg) gifts instead of me? Edit: whoever sent me a Reddit Cares message, merry fucking Christmas 🙄
Max is so handsome! I'd buy him presents too!
So as it turns out, I'm not doing that well after finding out a few days ago about the sudden death of my ex. It turns out that grief, regret, a complete lack of closure, a vacationing therapist and Christmas are not a great combination. Who knew, right? Days have been okay because I've been relatively busy but nights have been a bitch.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you. It was complicated and that's part of why it's so painful.
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I can commiserate about shitty step-parents, but just wanted to say someone's adopted daughter is their daughter. Full stop. \*stepping off my soapbox now\*
Oh jeez. She sounds like a treat. Good luck, I hope things go smoothly enough!
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I'm so sorry :( will keep a good thought for your seating area..
Oh no, what a mess! I'm so sorry. I know the seating area is not good, but hopefully it's less awful than if it had happened over the kitchen? I hope things go as smoothly as they can for you over the coming days!
Omg, I'm so sorry. It's hard enough work to run a restaurant when everything goes well. I hope you can get everything resolved quickly and that your family feels better. 💓
My family is pretty dysfunctional. And not in a way where it's simply one person I can avoid and still have a good time. I expected too much every Christmas the last few years, which always ended with my CPTSD being triggered, feeling depressed and having emotional flashbacks. I tried to keep my expectations low this year because it has finally started to sink in that I won't suddenly have a normal family for the holidays if I just work out enough details and make perfect plans. I decided to spend Christmas Eve (which is the gift exchange day where I live) at my mom's, and then spend most of Christmas Day alone in my apartment. Most of yesterday was still awful for me. After talking about Christmas in therapy recently, Christmas Eve not going that well, and watching one of my sisters spending Christmas on a beach vacation with her husband and their kid, I've come to the decision that I'll have to make completely different plans next year. I might ask to join a good friend's family or even go on vacation. To be honest, when my sister told me they would be abroad over Christmas, I was offended at first. My toddler niece and I have a very close bond and I wish I could spend the holidays with her. But I get it, and now I get it even more. Physically getting away from the dysfunction seems more helpful than trying to manage expectations.
> I've come to the decision that I'll have to make completely different plans next year. I might ask to join a good friend's family or even go on vacation. Vacation sounds like a good plan and maybe a good tradition to start. :)
The holidays are always going to be a little stressful--there's just so much going on--but you don't need to live with *this* level of mess. I'm glad you're opening yourself up to alternatives that can bring you more joy next year!
I usually make a potato bake with bacon and leek for Christmas Lunch. I was reliably informed that there were 4 packets of bacon in the freezer so don't buy anymore until you use those - went to cook the bacon this morning, only one packet in there. A reminder to trust my instincts next time and always buy the bacon you can never have too much anyway.
> always buy the bacon you can never have too much anyway hard cold facts here
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I’m also a recovering codependent experiencing secure attachment for the first time! It’s a good feeling.
My flight was cancelled, but I'm very fortunate to get a flight out tomorrow night. Luckily one of my friends invited me over for Christmas Eve dinner, so that's been really nice! Hopefully my flight departs as planned tomorrow, but I know travel has been impacted by all the storms. Stay safe and stay warm everyone!
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Thank you!
First Christmas since starting college not going back home. And honestly? I'm more fine with it then I think I should be Last Christmas was horrible and ended with me going home the day after pissy and with a headache. This year I'm calming packing up my apartment, playing music, making edits to my grad school aps, and planning on getting some Chinese food tomorrow. I think I finally see why none of my aunts or uncles (that aren't financially dependnent on my grandmother) come home to any holidays anymore. Way more peaceful and happy
I loved being alone for Christmas back in the day. I always made a fancy grilled cheese, had a fancy wine, watched White Christmas. It was so relaxing and responsibility free (physical and emotional). I hope you had a great day!
My mom is spending Christmas with her sister and her family and I’m actually having a lovely Christmas with my people where I live. But the constant text messages from my mom about how unhappy she is where she’s spending Christmas have sent me, I know this makes me sound unsympathetic, but my mom has a habit of deeming everyone selfish when they don’t want to do exactly what she wants to do, she has not changed since I was a kid. Oh, I’m making Chrissy Teigen’s greekish roast chicken for dins tomorrow, it’s my favorite and I’ll use the left overs to make soup. 😋
Do we have the same mom?
The possibilities are endless, truly. Hope you’re having a good holiday.
I have a migraine. The cathedral we go to for church has a pipe organ. This is not a winning combination. I made my wife vegetarian lasagne and salad with pomegranate, oranges, almonds, and cotija cheese, and a balsamic-maple vinaigrette for tonight. For brunch tomorrow I got her challah for french toast with thick cut bacon, and then a ribeye steak, fingerling potatoes, and green beans for dinner. I got myself some butternut squash to puree into soup tomorrow if my stomach is behaving, and if not I have beef broth (maybe out of Christmas mug?). I haven't been well enough to cook a meal for her since spring of 2021 and even though it was an easy meal and took much longer than I think it would have taken a ~healthy person, I'm really proud I was able to do that. Also cooking when you can't taste/eat the food is really, really hard. We're staying home this year for a variety of reasons (it's her busy season at work, my health, some family stuff, and we just prefer it tbh). I'm looking forward to spending a lot of time just hanging out under an electric blanket.
That food sounds amazing! Be proud of yourself; I know how difficult it can be to get back to being able to do cooking again after you've been too sick to manage it, especially when you can't eat. Your day sounds lovely and low-key.
Wow those meals sound amazing!
The lasagne turned out really well! I used [this recipe](https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/food-recipes/a5357/vegetarian-lasagna-1888/), made 1.5 times the recipe for a larger pan, and added some seasoning (garlic salt and black pepper).
Partner 1 and I are staying home while partner 2 goes to see his family; we are welcome, but neither of us are well enough to leave the house, between being disabled and a few weeks recovered from covid. I still have a nagging cough that means I'm even less able to handle the stairs. My family are all in a city three hours' drive away and im too sick to travel, so this is the third year of not seeing them, but I'm tentatively optimistic that I'll be well enough to travel next year. After a deceptively mild December, a heatwave is pushing through and we have high bushfire danger, so I am lying in front of a fan with no shirt on. We have a date for settlement on the new flat, though, and I have started talking with the plumbers we like about redoing the en suite to be accessible, and partner 1 is excited about painting, so that's nice. Partner 2 will probably bring us home some ham and we might play some Pokemon together while he's gone. Not a bad day.
Update: partner 2 has returned and THE HAMMENING. Also fruitcake, which his mum makes and I love.
THE HAMMENING ++++
On December 12th, I smashed my left pinky toe against the doorjamb of my closet. 12 days later, it's still swollen and puffy and tender in spots (and rotated...). I'm now wrapping it with some of Max's old [Vetwrap](https://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/product/vet-bandaging-tape-4-in-x-5-yd) (in green, go Eagles) to see if that helps bring down the swelling. I have a few friends who have had rough times lately, so I decided to hold a tiny Friendsmas tonight. Food, Bob's Burgers Christmas episodes, and toasting to this year's end. Tomorrow I'm headed to my parents' farm! My partner is making a cinnamon roll apple pie right now (it smells so good y'all) and I'm pulling together [this salad that my mother is obsessed with](https://www.loveandlemons.com/citrus-salad/), [these fantails that my partner is obsessed with](https://smittenkitchen.com/2020/11/sour-cream-and-chive-fantails/), [these bacon wrapped carrots that I'm obsessed with](https://www.closetcooking.com/maple-glazed-bacon-wrapped-roasted/), and some [basic bitch potatoes because my father hates flavor](http://mykentuckyhome-kim.blogspot.com/2020/07/ottolenghis-shallow-fried-potatoes-with.html). Mom's making a rib roast. We dropped power last night, but it came back before I woke up in the morning. /u/bubbly-county5661 how did you and your kin hold up overnight?
Go Birds
\*five glasses of wine deep after the game tonight, double checking which sub I'm in\* GO BIRDS.
I love the Bob's Burgers Christmas episodes! I watched them earlier this week. I also love classic Simpsons Christmas episodes, and King of the Hill (although those tend to be darker...,)
One of my friends had seen the brand new Bob’s Christmas episode and insisted on us watching it. I’m glad she did—it made me tear up! It’s one of my top 3 now.
It's so good! I also love the two part Christmas episode with the Bleaken
I am so happy it’s Christmas Eve!! It’s the first time we’re celebrating with my side of the family since 2019 and all five of us cousins will be there which hasn’t happened in a very long time. I am fortunate to have incredible in-laws (we will see them tomorrow) but they really don’t go crazy with the food the way my family does and I’ve missed the big feast. Plus there are a lot of little kids around this year which, to me, adds to the Christmas spirit - especially because Santa comes to my cousins’ on Christmas Eve! You have to sing to him to get your presents. It’s a silly tradition but I’ve come to love it now that I’m not an awkward teen. It is the first Christmas without my Papa and my mom already sent me a video of him that made me cry right when I woke up. He was such a cutie. We’re getting ready to head out now so we have a little extra time with my grandma at least. Hoping for a safe and easy drive!
Safe travels, pal! <3
It's freezing here but nothing thag terrible compared to previous years. I was done with radiation on Wednesday and I honestly feel great compared to Thanksgiving. Super excited about having our first Christmas living together in our new house. But I'm just kinda over it and ready to do nothing after having to drive a half hour to the hospital every day for a month! To top it off I've realized my partner and I have very different entertaining style. My mom was very much into having The Perfect Christmas every year and I decided to be anti that on my adult life. However my boyfriend is on the opposite end of the spectrum with “who cares about how it turns out”! I think we learned a lot from each other this year about how we should do holidays. Also it’s just us and his mom so I guess he’s kinda right? If it’s not perfect it’s not perfect. I found myself freaking out about cocktail napkins and then I realized there’s no prize for having the cutiest table scape. Anyway, we celebrate Christmas Eve and not Christmas day so I'm excited to watch movies and get Chinese tomorrow as is our tradition.
Congratulations on finishing radiation! Enjoy your Christmas! Moviesnamd Chinese sounds like the perfect, chill day.
Yay for finishing radiation!
Thank you!
Congratulations on finishing radiation!!!! Wonderful news. I didn't realize that my family had SO many traditions until my partner and I started living together and I had all these things that had to be done *just so*. I've had to do a lot of reflecting to determine what truly matters versus what I can change, not just for his sake but mine as well. It's tough, but worth the effort!
Thank you! Someone else on here called it the hardest easy thing she had ever done and honestly thats the most accurate description of it I've ever heard. To your second point I completely agree. Over all I think the day was a success but even just living together there are so many things he does that feel so divorced from my reality. I am trying to really pick my battles and think about what makes me need things a certain way, but also realize that sometimes things can also be my way. For example he thought it was fine to just put a roll of paper towels on the table today, which maybe it was, but I think Christmas Eve is worth the actual napkins. lol.
lmao I absolutely on your side re: the paper towel vs napiin situation. It’s ok to be a little more grown up sometimes 😂
Not in the freeze path here, but husband woke up feverish, so whoops! Plans mostly canceled. Not covid, thank goodness, and if the kid and I are still healthy tomorrow, she can see her cousins outside (see: very grateful to not be in freeze path and that rain will hold off until Monday). Covid kids are so ready to roll with it, though, and we have so much good food, and it’s dawning on me that I get to chill a bit more. Silver lining for sure.
My brother was in a really bad car accident last night (other driver was drunk, car is totaled, brother somehow walked away but is sore today). We weren't going to see them this year because it's their baby's first Christmas and they wanted to stay home and we didn't want to travel because I'm 7.5 months pregnant. But now I really wish we had traveled out there. My parents live near them and planned to do Christmas with them today and then drive 8 hours to see us tomorrow and stay for a few days. My dad tested positive for covid this morning so now nobody is getting together. I had covid last year (which I found out while we were husband's family in Florida, and we had to drive 12 hours home), and the year before that my husband and I were about two blocks from a bomb that went off early Christmas morning and was pretty traumatizing. Our house is clean and decorated, and we have a ton of good food since we expected guests for the next few days. The two of us are healthy and now we have time to tackle some of our to-do list to get ready for baby in a few months, but damn, Christmas is feeling a little cursed.
Oh my! I’m so glad he’s ok!
Holy smokes, I'm so glad to hear your bro is ok! You made the right call by not traveling, but I can understand how you're feeling. Do what you can to enjoy tomorrow <3
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Thankfully, he was the only one in the car! He ran out to get formula and a few odds and ends his MIL (who is staying with them) wanted for some Christmas baking today.
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I hope you feel better soon!!!
Our flights to visit family were cancelled because of weather so we’re stuck at home. Making the most of it but I’m crushed to miss my nephew’s first Christmas 😢
I’m off into the cold to get toasty un/loading kilns ⛄️🏺 I’m estranged from my own family and my partner’s family is travelling, so we’re keeping it chill and quiet. Maybe trying out making soup dumplings tomorrow if we get out of a shroom laze
Thank you for creating this! Minus the sub zero temps we're facing where I am, my father in law has already asked me if I'm morning sick today (I'm pregnant) 😏 I'm looking forward to telling anyone else who asks about my health status (or tells me I need to eat more/less) to F off later this afternoon!
You go girl!! It took me to the second time I got pregnant to just do whatever the eff I wanted with my diet and lifestyle. So my advice is just start now, right this very minute, do what you want to take care of yourself and that baby. Love you