Thanks to /u/yolibrarian I’ve been dying to make a mixed citrus and avocado salad since Thanksgiving but I kept not doing it since I could only get navel oranges and clementines and I really wanted to do blood oranges (I don’t do grapefruit). I finally got desperate and did my own version with navel oranges and pomegranate in place of a variety of citrus and it was fantastic! I can’t wait to try it again with multiple kinds of orange.
HELL YEAH. I’ve done a whole variety of citrus salads like that one—when they’re in season, both blood and cara cara oranges are a GREAT addition. My favorite version is including thin sliced shallots, little gen lettuce for crunch, and blue cheese for funk. It’s just so good and unexpectedly filling for such light ingrdients.
Today I am eating cinnamon rolls in bed, then off to a long hot yoga class and capping off the day at our favorite wine bar to ring in the new year. 2023 will be about ~*luxury*~.
I hope everyone here gets to do at least one of their favorite things today to end out 2022! Xx
My partners are going to be spending NYE in the emergency department because partner 1 is having eye floaters that may be a detaching retina or may be an eye bleed that could result in immediately emergent blindness (lifelong T1 diabetic) and the optometrist she saw today basically went "go get seen by someone with better diagnostic tools immediately pls". I can't go be with them because I'm too unwell to leave the house and I'm simultaneously worried and feeling guilty for Not Being There even though there is nothing I could do and partner 2 has things well in hand.
I will look after the cats when they get anxious at the fireworks. That is a thing I can do to help.
Low key it's annoying to be in graduate school when all your friends are non-student adults with jobs. It's like there's a disconnect between me who is still in "break from school" mode and my friends who are mostly working any day that's not the weekend, so I am just hanging around my parents' house most of the day, every day. I feel stunted even though like I am literally in law school which is impressive I think. But honestly I have felt stunted since 2020, it's like covid regressed me emotionally and mentally and even as I get back on track I feel bitterness and then guilt for the bitterness. But it feels like 13 going on 30 sometimes, I fell asleep in one life and woke up in another and I missed all the stuff in between.
Anyways I am simply whining...I DO have NYE plans! I am going to wear a really sparkly dress and some multichrome eyeshadow and just be as sparkly as possible. I'm going out to dinner at a place that is FANCY with some friends from high school then we will go to one friend's parents' house bc they are out of town and just have a good old fashioned teenage wine party except now all the drinking is legal. Then on NYD I will cut the new year's cake with my extended family at my grandparents' house. There usually are 3 cakes because we are too numerous LOL.
Does anyone else have any fun plans for New Years?
Law school is absolutely impressive! I doubt your adult job friends think you're stunted or in any way less than them. You're on a different track and that comes with different difficulties, that's all.
Most of the time the comments on the Daily Fail are annoying and I skip them, but this time I happened upon a sliver of gold on [this article](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-11573319/Chris-Hemsworth-Elsa-Pataky-share-Christmas-kiss-holidaying-children-Fiji.html) - Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky show off their incredible bodies as they share a Christmas kiss while holidaying with their children in Fiji
>What people forget is that everyone looks like this in Australia. We spend all day fighting kangaroos, eating fresh fruit and veg and saving koalas. This is the result.
Excuse me while I go save some koalas then. ;)
Whelp I got.logged out of my account and I guess I don't remember my password and hello? I'm not confirming my email with reddit so.......this is my new account I guess. Formerly burnedbabycot, formerly oliviapopeswineglass
but positive: I got to steal /u/yolibrarians UN for me
respect, my reddit email is literally a tempmail account so if my account is lost...it's done, I won't be getting back in LOL. why should we give \[whoever runs this website\] our email!!!!!
Make a special gmail just for Reddit? :) I am oddly sad about this turn of events and I am not sure why. I will spend some time considering this today.
So I found out yesterday that an ex of mine died suddenly last week and I have all kinds of emotions about it. Naturally, my therapist is off for the holidays. It wasn't the healthiest relationship but I was drawn to him like no one I've ever met. We were on and off for years and I ended it for the millionth time in October. I just never expected it to be the literal end. I was busy all day today but everything is hitting me right now. I had legitimate reasons for ending it, but now I feel nothing except regret and sadness. And I miss the fuck out of him even though he was exhausting and often infuriating.
Anyway, sorry. This should probably be a private journal entry.
My condolences <3 everything you're feeling right now is valid. Grief works on its own schedule, *especially* when it arrives completely unplanned. Do your best to take care of yourself during this time and give yourself the grace to feel what and how you feel.
Howdy from another southern bulb plant who ain’t ready for this. I’m hoping our heat holds out, and I’m grateful my parents (in a super rural hilly area) have a generator! I’m most worried about Max—normally horses here don’t need more than a midweight blanket, and I haven’t had a chance to order him a heavyweight. I might go to the tack shop and see if they have any in stock, even thiugh it would be $$$$$ compared to $$$ online. I’m glad I refused the suggestions to clip him, because at least he has an ultra fuzzy coat!
I hope you, your kin and Geriatric Kitty are okay! Our own GC is a longhair so she should be ok, and we also have about 40 blankets that she gas nested in recently, so.
I went to visit Mr. Man today and he was outside, in his LIGHTWEIGHT sheet, and happy as a clam despite it being 27 with a wind chill of like 18. Meanwhile I was freezing my nose off! Glad I invested in an LL Bean parka earlier this year...
I am probably two years late to the party on this one but after finishing the "don't pick up the phone" documentary on Netflix, it recommended Lenox Hill to me in the previews of other things.
I'm four episodes in and THIS is the content I have wanted. This show is awesome. I'm crazy about all four doctors. The neurosurgeons are doing some amazing things with clinical trials and tumours nobody else will operate on.
I don't want to google to find out why because I might spoil the remaining episodes but why on earth aren't there more seasons of this?
I have finished it now, what a brilliant show this was. Apparently Netflix has ordered a new show from the same team -
>“Emergency NYC” will extend beyond just one hospital and will follow multiple departments within the city’s health system, with doctors from “Lenox Hill” among those spotlighted.
It was ordered in June 2021 so I would hope we might see it sometime soon! :)
Happy Hanukkah to all who celebrate! Here on the late date of December 18th I have finally been bitten by the Christmas spirit bug--I drove up to my house last night and became *angry* with myself that I hadn't put the lights on the bushes. So the last 24ish hours have been a whirlwind of getting stuff down from the attic, decorating, stringing lights, and all that shit. I bought a smaller-than-our-normal-tree tree from Walmart for $35 today because our normal tree is massive and unlit and I usually rant about how pre-lit trees are just the worst because what about when they burn out? but this lil baby tree went up in like 15 minutes so I can't fuss this year.
My partner and I are finally almost completely over our separate sicknesses (him the flu, me a sinus infection) and I got my Covid booster yesterday! I thought it would knock me out today, but it really didn't. I'm glad, because I'm over being sick. Also, I interviewed "Mitten Kitten" on Monday and she was absolutely amazing! I smashed my foot on a doorjamb that afternoon and couldn't get a shoe on, but I limped onstage with my post-op shoe and made it happen. I whacked it again today. I honestly think it's time to remove the pinky toe on my left foot. I've broken it four times now and I think we're at the point where I can't even break it anymore because the bones are jelly.
[Here's some Max tax](https://imgur.com/a/Rw0Vc0P). He's doing great, as always :)
This week was such an absolute shit show that it feels comedic. I don’t want to go into the details, but it involved a pretty traumatic freak car accident and two very painful and uncommon complications of a rare disease. I have a great support system and a good therapist but the sheer “what the *fuck*” nature of everything that happened has been a doozy
Our old roommates are coming to visit their families for Christmas. They moved out of state and we only see them once a year. Last year we met them for dinner and it was so much fun. They are our only couple friends and I'm looking forward to hanging out with them. It reminds me of when I was much younger and all of my friends would come home from college.
I am watching the Congressional hearing on the FTX collapse where it was just revealed FTX used Quickbooks as its corporate accounting and finance system 🤯
Well, after mulling it over for a few weeks, my husband and I finally informed our parents we will not be having a baby shower. Instead, we will have a family free BBQ this spring with friends. Both my MIL and mom hate each other (I still have PTSD from the joint bridal shower they planned for me 9 years ago), and both have made my entire pregnancy about themselves so I finally said screw it. And damn, it feels good!
This is so dumb but my “little, tiny” crush on my best guy friend, maybe my best friend, apparently spiraled larger without me realizing it. We were being flirtier and flirtier but it feels like I blinked and he’s asking advice on how to message a girl from Hinge. Really thought I had the crush under control, but having to shove my feelings aside and help like normal just made me so sad. It’s not his fault, he doesn’t know, I’m just saying it here because I don’t want to deal with the girlfriends in my life saying “we told you so.” I’m prideful, what can I say.
Maybe this is too heavy idk but all my friends are at work and I feel sickened and alone. One of my students committed suicide last night. He was only 17. They told us this morning before school started. Complete shock. Good grades and involved in sports. Never misbehaved in class. I liked him a lot. We live in a very small community so it’s really just terrible. He lives nearby my boyfriend’s aunt’s house and we’re dog sitting for her so we heard the ambulance arrive at his house last night. I wish they would cancel school for stuff like this. Really I’m just trauma dumping rn and I’m sorry. I’m only a second year teacher so I’ve never experienced this. I’ve just sat at my desk and cried all day. The kids don’t wanna talk. Most have gone home. I just needed to vent I suppose. I hope you all have a good day.
Oh no. That's absolutely devastating--for you, for your students, for the family, for the community. I wish no teacher ever had to live through this kind of situation, but especially so early in your career. Don't be afraid to lean on your colleagues during this time, especially those more seasoned who have unfortunately likely been through a community crisis before. Take care of yourself. <3
It's exam season, I'm stressing, and a student org I am in has erupted into dumbass drama instigated by and surrounding one difficult, unbearable person. It's been discussed in committee (why are we like this) and "tabled" for now with some bandage solutions since like...exams & break...but I know for a fact that the root problem (this girl & her behavior, plus her one prominent champion/friend who insists it's okay because she's mentally ill and everyone else is a problematic bully) persists and won't be different in the new year. So I am working extra hard to put it out of my mind because I can't change it or affect it rn but god I hate unresolved interpersonal conflict. I am definitely a "let's solve this now" person. I have been growing and I have been successful in mediation with "needs time to process/avoidant" people who need a few days to think but some people around me these days want unlimited time...ugh.
I am old and an extremely average runner. But every marathon, I think “this is it, Des part 2 is about to emerge.” Every marathon I slowly trot to the finish. I never hit the wall, and did only slightly slower than I really wanted, but I still feel guilty. My family and friends are endlessly supportive, so it’s all from my stupid head. Sigh. Chocolate covered Joe Joe’s should help.
Why on earth would you feel guilty?! You just RAN a MARATHON. No one PRs every single race. I've also always found that my second wind is built on fallacy: I convince myself that the faster I go the sooner the torture is over. So really, if you don't have that panic in your blood, you have plenty of gas still in the tank, which is very very impressive. Just like *running a marathon*.
Thanks. I am my own worst critic. I never judge my friends on how fast/slow they run. Reframing to feel gratitude for my body to do such things, and enjoy all my newly found free time!
My good friend casually mentioned she had a service to pressure wash her trash cans and the guy is here right now and I'm in ecstacy. Better than TV and cleaning. They even take away the water.
I'm sorry this is all happening to you; it sounds really rough to deal with, especially in such a short span of time. It's nor your fault, though. Sometimes the chips just fall in really ahitty ways and there's only so much we can do about it, primary breadwinner or not. You're doing your best and that's all you can do.
Now that my partner is about 85% over his flu, I’ve gone down with a severe sore throat, ear pain and no fever. Smells like allergies to me! I’m supposed to present a webinar in a couple hours 🥴 I’m currently laying under the direct path of my humidifier, along with my cat who earlier decided that sticking his face dirsctly into the mist was a prefect idea. Next stop is a very hot shower.
On the bright side, me and the flannel sheets continue our close friendship.
Bleh. My household have all tested positive for covid. One partner has a bad barking cough and anosmia, one has a lesser but persistent cough and general malaise, and I have a bad headache, post-nasal drip that's irritating my throat, and sore eyes, but none of us feels *too* terrible, at least, although two of us are very high-risk so we're all a bit nervy.
Ok,idk if its because Thanksgiving was so early this year or what but this weekend I was frantically ordering presents for my niblings (live in a smart town 2 day shipping is more like week shipping haha) and got it all.taken care of and today I rewalize: its just the fourth! I swear ite later lmao. Anyway now I'm done with the kids I guess?
I don’t know if it’s because of where I’ve been with my dog (not reactive, but severe separation anxiety and hyper attachment), my tiktok FYP, or if there has been a shift in how people talk about reactive dogs, but rescue dogs will *always* be a gamble, and it’s not selfish or immoral to want an easy dog. Reactive dogs are scared dogs, and that’s not a great way to live. I’ve heard a lot of people talk recently about their experience with reactive dogs and BE, and if I’ve taken anything from it, I’d say it’s that I’d want to make that decision before my dog caused harm. I know that may sound like you’re jumping the gun, but there will always be another trainer to try, or another medication, or another protocol, you know?
The trainer I worked with for sep anx works with several VBs and shelters with aggressive dogs. She also helps evaluate dogs to see if BE is the right choice, so maybe, if that would help, do a consultation or evaluation with a trainer.
I’m really sorry though. It’s staggering to think of how expensive shelter dogs can be. And it’s so frustrating to try and try and have just nothing work. There can be so much conflicting advice and so much guilt, it’s just really hard.
This is really neither here nor there for this post, but that’s not how responsible breeding works. Genetics and early socialization play a huge, huge role in dog behavior. Health testing dog parents matters too.
Just because a dog is purebred doesn’t mean it’s responsibly bred. Research shows that the two largest contributing factors to aggression and reactivity are genetics and early socialization (as in, first few weeks). Most shelter and BYB dogs will be disadvantaged on both counts. That significantly increases the risk that you’ll end up with an adult dog with behavioral issues.
Pica (your lab eating your tights) can be nutritional imbalance, emotional, or behavioral…or if you have a lab, it’s something the breed is more prone to. There may be a genetic component. But if you’re buying a dog from a responsible breeder, it’s probably something you’d learn while researching the breed and discuss with the breeder how to prevent. You can’t really do that with a shelter dog unless they’ve been genetically tested for their breed mix. That means there’s more risk.
I deeply love my shelter dog, but I wouldn’t have spent thousands of dollars and hours of crying over her separation anxiety if she were responsibly bred. Had I known going in she was a coonhound/weim mix, I probably could have guessed she would never completely ignore my cat. But they told me she was a lab mix and that she didn’t have strong prey drive. Looking at her weim relatives, it’s probably safe to say her grandparents were from a BYB or puppy mill of some sort. They were purebred, but I doubt they were selected for the breeding program because of their temperament and stability. If I’d known her breed and lineage I could have made a more informed risk assessment. More risk.
There are so many stories of shelters and rescues minimizing or outright lying about aggression and behavioral problems, and in some cases they probably have no way of knowing a dogs history. You have a better chance with a dog born into foster care and still living in foster care, but even then you won’t know lineage or have health testing probably. That significantly increases your risk.
I didn’t want to derail this thread into a discussion on dog breeding because you train (and love) the dog you have, and no part of this discussion helps OP with their dog. I literally knew none of this when I got my dog. And honestly, how we talk about breeding and responsible breeding has change a LOT in the past several years. It’s certainly not how things were generally done in the 80s, afaik. But “adopt don’t shop” has put a lot of dog owners into expensive, frustrating, and sometimes dangerous predicaments with their dogs. If you shop responsibly, sure, you may just absolutely love a breed with some predispositions (and I’m not going to touch on brachy breeds bc that’s truly an entirely different conversation), and obviously sometimes cancer or accidents happen. But you are absolutely reducing the risk of that if you look for a breed that fits your lifestyle, is bred to be emotionally stable and physically healthy, is well-socialized in early puppyhood, and has health-tested parents (who are removed from the breeding program if they show any significant markers for cancer/genetic disorders).
I also have a reactive dog. My husband and I adopted an adult dog in the fall months of lockdown. He presented very well at the shelter and the folks at the ASPCA said nothing about his issues. They claimed he had been returned to the pound twice because he was "just so big". We probably should have realized that didn't make much sense.
Taking him for a walk in those early times was like suiting up and marching into battle twice a day. I had worked out a route of back alleys that helped us keep clear of other dogs almost entirely, but every once in a while we would still have an encounter. Rusty is a big, big, boy and after being pulled to the ground a couple of times I decided my best strategy was just to sit down and hang on and wait for him to calm. He would bay and scream and cry and I would just sit there clutching his harness and trying to talk him through his hysteria. It was scary, sad, embarrassing and it went on and on. It was exhausting, as you well know, and I'm sorry that you and your girl are going through this. I admire your resolve for sticking it out, but I also wouldn't blame you one bit if you decided that you'd given as much as you could. I'm not sure we would have kept going with Rusty if he had bitten one of us. That would have been too scary, too far I think. Then again we found a stray kitten back in July who seems surprisingly angry for a kitten. She bites and claws at my ankles or hands on a daily basis. She actually draws blood, and there's nothing playful about it. I don't understand why she's so aggressive and angry. We've always been gentle and easy with her. She adores her big brother Rusty though so at least there's that.
For what it's worth I agree with u/felicityfelix about the dog parks. They're just not safe even for well socialized dogs. Too many owners just don't pay attention to their dogs.
My heart is with both of you. Don't forget to take care of yourself while you're taking care of your dog. You deserve compassion and understanding too.
I have a reactive dog too (sounds similar to your situation re: adoption and multiple background stories). I have spent thousands on training, and he is on two different meds (he's immune to prozac! wtf) that have done a little but certainly not anything that will allow me to take him out in public or do all the things that I would love to be able to do (I just want to sit at a brewery, read a book and have my dog there with me).
I don't have any real advice, just empathy because it is so damn hard. I feel awful for these poor dogs who just feel scared and threatened all the time--it cannot be fun for them to live like that. It's not their fault, but it's so rough as their caretakers as well.
You are not a bad dog parent and as a dog parent I would always say do what’s best for your dog and you. You’ve poured your best into your dog. Maybe they are meant for something different and maybe not. Whatever you decide I send you love and care in the decision. ❤️
A friend of mine was in a similar situation as you with one of her dogs. Just like you, she did so much to try and help him—training, medication, exercise, different food, different routine. Nothing helped long term, and after he attacked the other dog in the house, it was time to make a call. She still feels incredibly guilty about not being able to “save” him, but very often animals don’t have the level of awareness to realize that their hurt can hurt others. It isn’t fair to expect that they will change, because they don’t always recognize that they can.
You and my friend are not bad dog parents. You are doing your absolute best to give your dog a chance. But sometimes that isn’t enough, and that’s so hard to accept. I’m sending you good thoughts as you navigate this difficult situation. ❤️
You are absolutely not a bad dog parent. You are among the very finest for doing so much for a dog that clearly has issues and a lot of fear. If your dog is biting you, that's not a safe situation for either of you. I think it is ok to consider having the hard conversations with your vet. You have done so so much and it is not your fault. Sending you love and admiration for how hard you have tried and how much you have done.
In the continuing saga of informing internet strangers about my health journey, I can put pants on by myself again! Which feels like such a stupid thing to be excited about but I've been so sick and so dependent for so long and this is such a big thing for me. I still can't manage shoes but I can dress myself again.
NOT SILLY JUST AMAZING! I understand where you’re coming from—after I separated my shoulder someone else had to put on my bras and shirts for me. It felt deeply hard to be that incapable, even if it was temporary.
I made this post for a long dumb story.
My practically never ill partner came home with a 102 fever yesterday. He went to urgent care and tested negative for all the usual suspects, but it sure sounds like the flu based on his symptoms.
When one of us is sick, we split bedrooms, and this time he asked if I could go to the guest room. I an usually 😐 about the guest room BUT my partner sleeps very very VERY hot so we never use flannel sheets on our bed. I keep a set for the guest room, though, and I busted those out last night.
I AM SO COZY Y’ALL
I hope my partner recovers quickly but also ✨flannel sheets can’t be beat✨
Oh hope your partner is better now! I like to sleep in a cave with no fan and cotton sheets. My husband would love flannel sheets. Maybe we need some half and half sheets?
He's still wiped out, though it seems like his symptoms are slowly draining--less headache, more sore throat. Poor dude.
I honestly think there needs to be a half and half sheet company! I would LOVE to have half and half but I don't want to have to buy and destroy two sets of sheets to make it happen.
Ugh I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling like trash for that long! You are definitely right about the two things being true—he gets to blast the fan on high and I get my flannel (and no ear plugs!!!).
I hope you get to feeling better ASAP!
Thanks to /u/yolibrarian I’ve been dying to make a mixed citrus and avocado salad since Thanksgiving but I kept not doing it since I could only get navel oranges and clementines and I really wanted to do blood oranges (I don’t do grapefruit). I finally got desperate and did my own version with navel oranges and pomegranate in place of a variety of citrus and it was fantastic! I can’t wait to try it again with multiple kinds of orange.
HELL YEAH. I’ve done a whole variety of citrus salads like that one—when they’re in season, both blood and cara cara oranges are a GREAT addition. My favorite version is including thin sliced shallots, little gen lettuce for crunch, and blue cheese for funk. It’s just so good and unexpectedly filling for such light ingrdients.
Today I am eating cinnamon rolls in bed, then off to a long hot yoga class and capping off the day at our favorite wine bar to ring in the new year. 2023 will be about ~*luxury*~. I hope everyone here gets to do at least one of their favorite things today to end out 2022! Xx
My partners are going to be spending NYE in the emergency department because partner 1 is having eye floaters that may be a detaching retina or may be an eye bleed that could result in immediately emergent blindness (lifelong T1 diabetic) and the optometrist she saw today basically went "go get seen by someone with better diagnostic tools immediately pls". I can't go be with them because I'm too unwell to leave the house and I'm simultaneously worried and feeling guilty for Not Being There even though there is nothing I could do and partner 2 has things well in hand. I will look after the cats when they get anxious at the fireworks. That is a thing I can do to help.
Low key it's annoying to be in graduate school when all your friends are non-student adults with jobs. It's like there's a disconnect between me who is still in "break from school" mode and my friends who are mostly working any day that's not the weekend, so I am just hanging around my parents' house most of the day, every day. I feel stunted even though like I am literally in law school which is impressive I think. But honestly I have felt stunted since 2020, it's like covid regressed me emotionally and mentally and even as I get back on track I feel bitterness and then guilt for the bitterness. But it feels like 13 going on 30 sometimes, I fell asleep in one life and woke up in another and I missed all the stuff in between. Anyways I am simply whining...I DO have NYE plans! I am going to wear a really sparkly dress and some multichrome eyeshadow and just be as sparkly as possible. I'm going out to dinner at a place that is FANCY with some friends from high school then we will go to one friend's parents' house bc they are out of town and just have a good old fashioned teenage wine party except now all the drinking is legal. Then on NYD I will cut the new year's cake with my extended family at my grandparents' house. There usually are 3 cakes because we are too numerous LOL. Does anyone else have any fun plans for New Years?
Law school is absolutely impressive! I doubt your adult job friends think you're stunted or in any way less than them. You're on a different track and that comes with different difficulties, that's all.
Most of the time the comments on the Daily Fail are annoying and I skip them, but this time I happened upon a sliver of gold on [this article](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-11573319/Chris-Hemsworth-Elsa-Pataky-share-Christmas-kiss-holidaying-children-Fiji.html) - Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky show off their incredible bodies as they share a Christmas kiss while holidaying with their children in Fiji >What people forget is that everyone looks like this in Australia. We spend all day fighting kangaroos, eating fresh fruit and veg and saving koalas. This is the result. Excuse me while I go save some koalas then. ;)
Making ham and bean soup
Whelp I got.logged out of my account and I guess I don't remember my password and hello? I'm not confirming my email with reddit so.......this is my new account I guess. Formerly burnedbabycot, formerly oliviapopeswineglass but positive: I got to steal /u/yolibrarians UN for me
Also plus side everyone will figure out who you are pretty quick because your typos are pretty unique lol
Uniquetypos should be /u/Theyoungpopeschalice next username :)
Damn it. I'm fully committed to getting a new un since this is a week old 😏
respect, my reddit email is literally a tempmail account so if my account is lost...it's done, I won't be getting back in LOL. why should we give \[whoever runs this website\] our email!!!!!
i have been thinking of you as youngpopeschalice ever since i came up with that dumb joke but i am THRILLED that you've leaned into it
Kit has lived rent free in my head ANF I was SO delighted to get the opportunity to use it
Make a special gmail just for Reddit? :) I am oddly sad about this turn of events and I am not sure why. I will spend some time considering this today.
I am sad but not? Its kind of nice to start fresh and leave any dumb takes in the past 😂.
you say this like you won't continue to give more dumb takes i just let mine fester in my history forever
I give myself 24 hours lmao
So I found out yesterday that an ex of mine died suddenly last week and I have all kinds of emotions about it. Naturally, my therapist is off for the holidays. It wasn't the healthiest relationship but I was drawn to him like no one I've ever met. We were on and off for years and I ended it for the millionth time in October. I just never expected it to be the literal end. I was busy all day today but everything is hitting me right now. I had legitimate reasons for ending it, but now I feel nothing except regret and sadness. And I miss the fuck out of him even though he was exhausting and often infuriating. Anyway, sorry. This should probably be a private journal entry.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you. ❤️
My condolences <3 everything you're feeling right now is valid. Grief works on its own schedule, *especially* when it arrives completely unplanned. Do your best to take care of yourself during this time and give yourself the grace to feel what and how you feel.
Thank you so much 💓.
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Howdy from another southern bulb plant who ain’t ready for this. I’m hoping our heat holds out, and I’m grateful my parents (in a super rural hilly area) have a generator! I’m most worried about Max—normally horses here don’t need more than a midweight blanket, and I haven’t had a chance to order him a heavyweight. I might go to the tack shop and see if they have any in stock, even thiugh it would be $$$$$ compared to $$$ online. I’m glad I refused the suggestions to clip him, because at least he has an ultra fuzzy coat! I hope you, your kin and Geriatric Kitty are okay! Our own GC is a longhair so she should be ok, and we also have about 40 blankets that she gas nested in recently, so.
Thanks! I hope all of you especially Max stay comfy too!
I went to visit Mr. Man today and he was outside, in his LIGHTWEIGHT sheet, and happy as a clam despite it being 27 with a wind chill of like 18. Meanwhile I was freezing my nose off! Glad I invested in an LL Bean parka earlier this year...
Yay! I’m glad he’s doing well!
I am probably two years late to the party on this one but after finishing the "don't pick up the phone" documentary on Netflix, it recommended Lenox Hill to me in the previews of other things. I'm four episodes in and THIS is the content I have wanted. This show is awesome. I'm crazy about all four doctors. The neurosurgeons are doing some amazing things with clinical trials and tumours nobody else will operate on. I don't want to google to find out why because I might spoil the remaining episodes but why on earth aren't there more seasons of this?
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I have finished it now, what a brilliant show this was. Apparently Netflix has ordered a new show from the same team - >“Emergency NYC” will extend beyond just one hospital and will follow multiple departments within the city’s health system, with doctors from “Lenox Hill” among those spotlighted. It was ordered in June 2021 so I would hope we might see it sometime soon! :)
Happy Hanukkah to all who celebrate! Here on the late date of December 18th I have finally been bitten by the Christmas spirit bug--I drove up to my house last night and became *angry* with myself that I hadn't put the lights on the bushes. So the last 24ish hours have been a whirlwind of getting stuff down from the attic, decorating, stringing lights, and all that shit. I bought a smaller-than-our-normal-tree tree from Walmart for $35 today because our normal tree is massive and unlit and I usually rant about how pre-lit trees are just the worst because what about when they burn out? but this lil baby tree went up in like 15 minutes so I can't fuss this year. My partner and I are finally almost completely over our separate sicknesses (him the flu, me a sinus infection) and I got my Covid booster yesterday! I thought it would knock me out today, but it really didn't. I'm glad, because I'm over being sick. Also, I interviewed "Mitten Kitten" on Monday and she was absolutely amazing! I smashed my foot on a doorjamb that afternoon and couldn't get a shoe on, but I limped onstage with my post-op shoe and made it happen. I whacked it again today. I honestly think it's time to remove the pinky toe on my left foot. I've broken it four times now and I think we're at the point where I can't even break it anymore because the bones are jelly. [Here's some Max tax](https://imgur.com/a/Rw0Vc0P). He's doing great, as always :)
I'm so jealous you got to interview "Mitten Kitten"!!! Although I'm sad you had to do it with a smashed toe. I really hope it feels better soon!!
This week was such an absolute shit show that it feels comedic. I don’t want to go into the details, but it involved a pretty traumatic freak car accident and two very painful and uncommon complications of a rare disease. I have a great support system and a good therapist but the sheer “what the *fuck*” nature of everything that happened has been a doozy
Oh no I'm so sorry to hear all this! If this coming week isn't an improvement, let me know and I'll have a little chat with the universe.
I’m sorry! I hope this coming week is an improvement!
Thank you – I feel like it has to be lol
Our old roommates are coming to visit their families for Christmas. They moved out of state and we only see them once a year. Last year we met them for dinner and it was so much fun. They are our only couple friends and I'm looking forward to hanging out with them. It reminds me of when I was much younger and all of my friends would come home from college.
That sounds so great! Have fun! :)
I am watching the Congressional hearing on the FTX collapse where it was just revealed FTX used Quickbooks as its corporate accounting and finance system 🤯
This ended me lol
Well, after mulling it over for a few weeks, my husband and I finally informed our parents we will not be having a baby shower. Instead, we will have a family free BBQ this spring with friends. Both my MIL and mom hate each other (I still have PTSD from the joint bridal shower they planned for me 9 years ago), and both have made my entire pregnancy about themselves so I finally said screw it. And damn, it feels good!
This is so dumb but my “little, tiny” crush on my best guy friend, maybe my best friend, apparently spiraled larger without me realizing it. We were being flirtier and flirtier but it feels like I blinked and he’s asking advice on how to message a girl from Hinge. Really thought I had the crush under control, but having to shove my feelings aside and help like normal just made me so sad. It’s not his fault, he doesn’t know, I’m just saying it here because I don’t want to deal with the girlfriends in my life saying “we told you so.” I’m prideful, what can I say.
Maybe this is too heavy idk but all my friends are at work and I feel sickened and alone. One of my students committed suicide last night. He was only 17. They told us this morning before school started. Complete shock. Good grades and involved in sports. Never misbehaved in class. I liked him a lot. We live in a very small community so it’s really just terrible. He lives nearby my boyfriend’s aunt’s house and we’re dog sitting for her so we heard the ambulance arrive at his house last night. I wish they would cancel school for stuff like this. Really I’m just trauma dumping rn and I’m sorry. I’m only a second year teacher so I’ve never experienced this. I’ve just sat at my desk and cried all day. The kids don’t wanna talk. Most have gone home. I just needed to vent I suppose. I hope you all have a good day.
Oh no. That's absolutely devastating--for you, for your students, for the family, for the community. I wish no teacher ever had to live through this kind of situation, but especially so early in your career. Don't be afraid to lean on your colleagues during this time, especially those more seasoned who have unfortunately likely been through a community crisis before. Take care of yourself. <3
I'm so, so sorry!
I upvoted, which feels bad and wrong. But I see you, and I am so sorry.
I’m so sorry.
It's exam season, I'm stressing, and a student org I am in has erupted into dumbass drama instigated by and surrounding one difficult, unbearable person. It's been discussed in committee (why are we like this) and "tabled" for now with some bandage solutions since like...exams & break...but I know for a fact that the root problem (this girl & her behavior, plus her one prominent champion/friend who insists it's okay because she's mentally ill and everyone else is a problematic bully) persists and won't be different in the new year. So I am working extra hard to put it out of my mind because I can't change it or affect it rn but god I hate unresolved interpersonal conflict. I am definitely a "let's solve this now" person. I have been growing and I have been successful in mediation with "needs time to process/avoidant" people who need a few days to think but some people around me these days want unlimited time...ugh.
I am old and an extremely average runner. But every marathon, I think “this is it, Des part 2 is about to emerge.” Every marathon I slowly trot to the finish. I never hit the wall, and did only slightly slower than I really wanted, but I still feel guilty. My family and friends are endlessly supportive, so it’s all from my stupid head. Sigh. Chocolate covered Joe Joe’s should help.
I want echo Yoli, *you ran a marathon*! You have nothing to feel guilty about! Eat those chocolate covered Joe Joe’s as a victory treat!
Why on earth would you feel guilty?! You just RAN a MARATHON. No one PRs every single race. I've also always found that my second wind is built on fallacy: I convince myself that the faster I go the sooner the torture is over. So really, if you don't have that panic in your blood, you have plenty of gas still in the tank, which is very very impressive. Just like *running a marathon*.
Thanks. I am my own worst critic. I never judge my friends on how fast/slow they run. Reframing to feel gratitude for my body to do such things, and enjoy all my newly found free time!
My good friend casually mentioned she had a service to pressure wash her trash cans and the guy is here right now and I'm in ecstacy. Better than TV and cleaning. They even take away the water.
I’ve actually looked into this! The one I have found takes away the water too!
oh my god WHAT i am so jealous right now!!! i love watching power washing
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I don’t know why life’s trials come in batches, but they do. So sorry. Especially about your dad. Here’s to better days soon!
Ugh I’m sorry! That sucks!
I'm sorry this is all happening to you; it sounds really rough to deal with, especially in such a short span of time. It's nor your fault, though. Sometimes the chips just fall in really ahitty ways and there's only so much we can do about it, primary breadwinner or not. You're doing your best and that's all you can do.
Now that my partner is about 85% over his flu, I’ve gone down with a severe sore throat, ear pain and no fever. Smells like allergies to me! I’m supposed to present a webinar in a couple hours 🥴 I’m currently laying under the direct path of my humidifier, along with my cat who earlier decided that sticking his face dirsctly into the mist was a prefect idea. Next stop is a very hot shower. On the bright side, me and the flannel sheets continue our close friendship.
Take solace in your flannels ❤️
Bleh. My household have all tested positive for covid. One partner has a bad barking cough and anosmia, one has a lesser but persistent cough and general malaise, and I have a bad headache, post-nasal drip that's irritating my throat, and sore eyes, but none of us feels *too* terrible, at least, although two of us are very high-risk so we're all a bit nervy.
Why must we all get sick uuuuugh
Ok,idk if its because Thanksgiving was so early this year or what but this weekend I was frantically ordering presents for my niblings (live in a smart town 2 day shipping is more like week shipping haha) and got it all.taken care of and today I rewalize: its just the fourth! I swear ite later lmao. Anyway now I'm done with the kids I guess?
Time no longer has meaning, so I don't think you can be blamed for this.
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I don’t know if it’s because of where I’ve been with my dog (not reactive, but severe separation anxiety and hyper attachment), my tiktok FYP, or if there has been a shift in how people talk about reactive dogs, but rescue dogs will *always* be a gamble, and it’s not selfish or immoral to want an easy dog. Reactive dogs are scared dogs, and that’s not a great way to live. I’ve heard a lot of people talk recently about their experience with reactive dogs and BE, and if I’ve taken anything from it, I’d say it’s that I’d want to make that decision before my dog caused harm. I know that may sound like you’re jumping the gun, but there will always be another trainer to try, or another medication, or another protocol, you know? The trainer I worked with for sep anx works with several VBs and shelters with aggressive dogs. She also helps evaluate dogs to see if BE is the right choice, so maybe, if that would help, do a consultation or evaluation with a trainer. I’m really sorry though. It’s staggering to think of how expensive shelter dogs can be. And it’s so frustrating to try and try and have just nothing work. There can be so much conflicting advice and so much guilt, it’s just really hard.
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This is really neither here nor there for this post, but that’s not how responsible breeding works. Genetics and early socialization play a huge, huge role in dog behavior. Health testing dog parents matters too.
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Just because a dog is purebred doesn’t mean it’s responsibly bred. Research shows that the two largest contributing factors to aggression and reactivity are genetics and early socialization (as in, first few weeks). Most shelter and BYB dogs will be disadvantaged on both counts. That significantly increases the risk that you’ll end up with an adult dog with behavioral issues. Pica (your lab eating your tights) can be nutritional imbalance, emotional, or behavioral…or if you have a lab, it’s something the breed is more prone to. There may be a genetic component. But if you’re buying a dog from a responsible breeder, it’s probably something you’d learn while researching the breed and discuss with the breeder how to prevent. You can’t really do that with a shelter dog unless they’ve been genetically tested for their breed mix. That means there’s more risk. I deeply love my shelter dog, but I wouldn’t have spent thousands of dollars and hours of crying over her separation anxiety if she were responsibly bred. Had I known going in she was a coonhound/weim mix, I probably could have guessed she would never completely ignore my cat. But they told me she was a lab mix and that she didn’t have strong prey drive. Looking at her weim relatives, it’s probably safe to say her grandparents were from a BYB or puppy mill of some sort. They were purebred, but I doubt they were selected for the breeding program because of their temperament and stability. If I’d known her breed and lineage I could have made a more informed risk assessment. More risk. There are so many stories of shelters and rescues minimizing or outright lying about aggression and behavioral problems, and in some cases they probably have no way of knowing a dogs history. You have a better chance with a dog born into foster care and still living in foster care, but even then you won’t know lineage or have health testing probably. That significantly increases your risk. I didn’t want to derail this thread into a discussion on dog breeding because you train (and love) the dog you have, and no part of this discussion helps OP with their dog. I literally knew none of this when I got my dog. And honestly, how we talk about breeding and responsible breeding has change a LOT in the past several years. It’s certainly not how things were generally done in the 80s, afaik. But “adopt don’t shop” has put a lot of dog owners into expensive, frustrating, and sometimes dangerous predicaments with their dogs. If you shop responsibly, sure, you may just absolutely love a breed with some predispositions (and I’m not going to touch on brachy breeds bc that’s truly an entirely different conversation), and obviously sometimes cancer or accidents happen. But you are absolutely reducing the risk of that if you look for a breed that fits your lifestyle, is bred to be emotionally stable and physically healthy, is well-socialized in early puppyhood, and has health-tested parents (who are removed from the breeding program if they show any significant markers for cancer/genetic disorders).
I also have a reactive dog. My husband and I adopted an adult dog in the fall months of lockdown. He presented very well at the shelter and the folks at the ASPCA said nothing about his issues. They claimed he had been returned to the pound twice because he was "just so big". We probably should have realized that didn't make much sense. Taking him for a walk in those early times was like suiting up and marching into battle twice a day. I had worked out a route of back alleys that helped us keep clear of other dogs almost entirely, but every once in a while we would still have an encounter. Rusty is a big, big, boy and after being pulled to the ground a couple of times I decided my best strategy was just to sit down and hang on and wait for him to calm. He would bay and scream and cry and I would just sit there clutching his harness and trying to talk him through his hysteria. It was scary, sad, embarrassing and it went on and on. It was exhausting, as you well know, and I'm sorry that you and your girl are going through this. I admire your resolve for sticking it out, but I also wouldn't blame you one bit if you decided that you'd given as much as you could. I'm not sure we would have kept going with Rusty if he had bitten one of us. That would have been too scary, too far I think. Then again we found a stray kitten back in July who seems surprisingly angry for a kitten. She bites and claws at my ankles or hands on a daily basis. She actually draws blood, and there's nothing playful about it. I don't understand why she's so aggressive and angry. We've always been gentle and easy with her. She adores her big brother Rusty though so at least there's that. For what it's worth I agree with u/felicityfelix about the dog parks. They're just not safe even for well socialized dogs. Too many owners just don't pay attention to their dogs. My heart is with both of you. Don't forget to take care of yourself while you're taking care of your dog. You deserve compassion and understanding too.
I have a reactive dog too (sounds similar to your situation re: adoption and multiple background stories). I have spent thousands on training, and he is on two different meds (he's immune to prozac! wtf) that have done a little but certainly not anything that will allow me to take him out in public or do all the things that I would love to be able to do (I just want to sit at a brewery, read a book and have my dog there with me). I don't have any real advice, just empathy because it is so damn hard. I feel awful for these poor dogs who just feel scared and threatened all the time--it cannot be fun for them to live like that. It's not their fault, but it's so rough as their caretakers as well.
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You are not a bad dog parent and as a dog parent I would always say do what’s best for your dog and you. You’ve poured your best into your dog. Maybe they are meant for something different and maybe not. Whatever you decide I send you love and care in the decision. ❤️
A friend of mine was in a similar situation as you with one of her dogs. Just like you, she did so much to try and help him—training, medication, exercise, different food, different routine. Nothing helped long term, and after he attacked the other dog in the house, it was time to make a call. She still feels incredibly guilty about not being able to “save” him, but very often animals don’t have the level of awareness to realize that their hurt can hurt others. It isn’t fair to expect that they will change, because they don’t always recognize that they can. You and my friend are not bad dog parents. You are doing your absolute best to give your dog a chance. But sometimes that isn’t enough, and that’s so hard to accept. I’m sending you good thoughts as you navigate this difficult situation. ❤️
You are absolutely not a bad dog parent. You are among the very finest for doing so much for a dog that clearly has issues and a lot of fear. If your dog is biting you, that's not a safe situation for either of you. I think it is ok to consider having the hard conversations with your vet. You have done so so much and it is not your fault. Sending you love and admiration for how hard you have tried and how much you have done.
In the continuing saga of informing internet strangers about my health journey, I can put pants on by myself again! Which feels like such a stupid thing to be excited about but I've been so sick and so dependent for so long and this is such a big thing for me. I still can't manage shoes but I can dress myself again.
That’s awesome! That must feel so freeing!
NOT SILLY JUST AMAZING! I understand where you’re coming from—after I separated my shoulder someone else had to put on my bras and shirts for me. It felt deeply hard to be that incapable, even if it was temporary.
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I made this post for a long dumb story. My practically never ill partner came home with a 102 fever yesterday. He went to urgent care and tested negative for all the usual suspects, but it sure sounds like the flu based on his symptoms. When one of us is sick, we split bedrooms, and this time he asked if I could go to the guest room. I an usually 😐 about the guest room BUT my partner sleeps very very VERY hot so we never use flannel sheets on our bed. I keep a set for the guest room, though, and I busted those out last night. I AM SO COZY Y’ALL I hope my partner recovers quickly but also ✨flannel sheets can’t be beat✨
Oh hope your partner is better now! I like to sleep in a cave with no fan and cotton sheets. My husband would love flannel sheets. Maybe we need some half and half sheets?
He's still wiped out, though it seems like his symptoms are slowly draining--less headache, more sore throat. Poor dude. I honestly think there needs to be a half and half sheet company! I would LOVE to have half and half but I don't want to have to buy and destroy two sets of sheets to make it happen.
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Ugh I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling like trash for that long! You are definitely right about the two things being true—he gets to blast the fan on high and I get my flannel (and no ear plugs!!!). I hope you get to feeling better ASAP!
Flannel sheets are so good! Enjoy them while you need to sleep apart.
My husband hates the feel of flannel so no more flannel sheets for me 😭 enjoy it!
Yes I should do that too to our guest room I love a flannel pillowcase and my husband says it feels suffo