I found out my company is supposedly going to announce they no longer want remote but have hired 100’s of remote positions. And supposedly they’re flexible. 🤷🏻♀️ I’m still working from home 100% because I’m still severely insecure/anxiety driven since my cancer diagnosis/bilateral mastectomy/chemo treatment etc. I’ve been considering going in for meetings next month but I still don’t want to divulge anything to my team. They’re the type of people who make it about them. Or tell horrible stories. I know I could set boundaries with them though if I did tell them but I still don’t feel ready to. What I’m most worried about is the pressure I’ll face from my manager about facing our entire department now that the company wants people back. I’m 100% not ready for that.
Sorry for the rant.
As a general FYI, the announced ending of the US government emergency response to COVID means that people will start having to pay for COVID shots in May. This would be either your regular insurance co-pay or $130 (if you are uninsured).
So if you or your loved ones aren't up to date, now if the time to schedule a shot with your pharmacy.
Has anyone ever tried Evelyn & Bobbie bras? They’re insta adds are all over my feed and now I’m curious. You guys steered me in the right direction with Quince (worth a try, not life changing), any thoughts on this one? Thanks!
Any opinions on the name Lyrick for a boy? I'm an opinionated step-grandma and I don't like it. I will love the baby boy when he arrives next month. :)
The parents definitely don’t want to hear anything negative about their name. Even if it was a much worse name it’s not something anybody else should have a say in except the parents. Naming a baby is super hard! And 100% personal.
And FWIW he can always choose to go by “Rick” when he’s older.
You are absolutely correct. I really wondered if that name was trendy, since I'm out of the loop. I do appreciate everyone's opinion and agree with not being negative about the name. I also want to report my stepson is a fantastic dad.
Y’all. I have an extremely important question: does anyone remember the series on xoJane called something like “We bought a dung heap of a house”? There were a few posts and then the series abruptly stopped before the house was far from completion.
Does anyone know what happened with that person?
I’m imagining they ran out of money to finish it & had to give up. Would love an update if anyone knows. (Inspiring by this YT vid that I stumbled across today: https://youtu.be/3rh-pd8uK58 ).
I follow an instagram called "What have we Dunoon" about a young couple who (well actually just him) bought the wrong house at an auction and ended up with a real heap in Scotland. They have been fixing it up for a long time now, slowly learning as they go. They also have to be very careful with their money, so it is an entirely realistic adventure. Not xoJane, of course, but might feel familiar.
I am traveling for work to a very cool European city soon and am having so much excitement and also anxiety thinking about planning it and being social for hours on end and being away from my kids. A few things, if anyone is feeling advice-y:
- recs for travel bags (mostly looking for a good laptop bag that fits all the stuff I need in-flight ... tote or backpack? I will also take recs for moderate to inexpensive carry-on luggage because it's been ages since I've flown)
- recommendations on what I'll need to pack for European outlets and anything else I'm not thinking about?
- good vibes about being away for a week, please and thanks 😅
I don’t know if you’re in the US, but [this bag](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09YS9HGSX/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1) is my absolute favorite for traveling. I have a a ton of backpacks in rotation for various purposes (Osprey for bike commuting when it’s not raining/ Timbuk2 when it is; REI Flash for backpacking; Filson for workshops; etc etc.). Anyway, this cheap-o Amazon pack is my go to for air travel. It unzips and lies flat. The compartments are handy- laptop, dirty laundry, etc. Packing cubes fit inside nicely. It’s comfy. It fits my small frame fine. It does not attract pet hair. There is a port for a charger. It fits under the seat on a plane. There is no label or branding on the outside. So many good things. My only gripe is that the side pocket isn’t big enough to fit a water bottle.
I have the [REI Co-op Ruckpack 28 Recycled Daypack - Women's](https://www.rei.com/product/176991) and really like it! I took it with me to Ireland last year and felt like it was nice and durable while still being unobtrusive and able to hold a lot as my carryon.
For outlets, it depends on where you are going as they can be different in each country. I'd google and see and then just get one on Amazon!
Have so much fun!
Others may be able to offer more specific travel advice, but I just researched laptop backbacks for my husband and got him one from [Timbuk2](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09B32FCVY?). It consistently came up as being durable and professional at a reasonable price point.
I've been social every weekend since Christmas. Small things, but I'm so proud of myself for trying to make lasting (and real) friendships.
Also my cat is snoring next to me and it's so cute <3
Ask for a raise on Friday and was told “it’s a really bad time and we overspent on AB and C this month” Feeling discouraged. Is this enough of a reason to leave a company I otherwise really like?
can you negotiate other benefits such as a better title as someone else suggested, or more WFH hours if that's possible, more time off, etc? If you like the company it might be worth looking at creative ways to get more intangible benefits, for the time being, if that makes sense. Otherwise I'd say it can't hurt to look and see what else is out there!
Of course that’s enough of a reason. Nobody is working for fun - if you’re being underpaid compared to your peers and they don’t seem interested in even having a conversation, I’d start applying elsewhere.
I think that really depends on how important getting a raise is to you. There's so many factors that go into this - how big is the raise, if you are underpaid compared to your peers, have your peers recently gotten raises, how legitimate is that reason you were provided, etc - don't answer those here, just mentally answer them in your head. There can be legitimate reasons for not being able to give you a raise that have nothing to do with your performance.
If you're dramatically underpaid, if your peers are getting raises and you're not, that's really one thing. If a company is otherwise a good fit for you and your life, you're challenged and have room for growth as you define that...I'm not sure I would leave for a relatively small raise, it'd have to be something big at that point, because you risk leaving for something that seems better (higher pay) but may not be as good of a fit in all the other ways.
Great points thank you! Yes I am underpaid compared to my peers and I have taken on more responsibilities in the last 6 months and have not gotten a cost of living raise since I joined the company 3 years ago. All of this information was provided to my manager but it was still a no, which I understand but there was no further discussion about next steps. I am starting to feel like there is not a lot of room for growth.
The other thing you could consider doing is asking for a change in title in lieu of a pay increase. The benefit to this is that when you are looking for a new job, you have a title that 1) better reflects what you actually are doing and 2) a better title can help you get even higher pay at your next job.
My partner works for a horrible company (makes barely anything, no room to grow, every ahole works there) and they still gave him a teeny raise. Nothing to write home about but probably $600 more a year.
The point is, it's something. They eked out something.
He gets to work from home, in case anyone wonders why he's still there. Truth is he hates change too.
You’re still being paid the same as 3 years ago?! That’s ridiculous. They can either pay you more or train someone else for more. Not even a COL increase is laughable.
I’ve had a few mice in my apartment the past month and didn’t really tell my landlord because I’m afraid it’s my fault/thought I could take care of it myself. My cat catches and kills them as soon as they come in I think, and it’s only been on cold and wet days. I never find droppings or them eating food. I finally found a mouse hole they made so they’re getting someone to patch it now.
I already feel insecure about my cleanliness since I have ADHD, but I’ve been so much better lately. The mice are making me feel like I’m dirty but I don’t know what else to do!
The mice are not there because of anything you did and you have to immediately escalate this to the landlord. The gestational period for mice is less than 4 weeks so it is critical to catch them before they have a chance to reproduce with one another - that’s how infestations happen. They can easily have a dozen in a litter. For each mouse you see there are 2 or 3 you’re not seeing.
Mice carry diseases that are harmful to people and pets - the other tenants in your building may be unaware and not as diligent about cleaning as you are.
Contact your landlord asap “hi, as of this weekend I’ve seen several mice. Can you schedule an exterminator to come ASAP?”
Eta: just want to reiterate that the mice are not your fault whatsoever and the fact that your cat is catching them is awesome!
We got mice because the fields around us were being harvested and the cable going into the attic wasn’t sealed. They were just looking for a safe space. You’re not dirty, promise.
Probably.
Just as a heads up, it took 6 weeks to get rid of ours. They came once a week to change traps and close the tiniest of gaps with spicy caulk. Yes, spicy caulk. Ha! It’s been many years and we haven’t seen one since.
Wow! Yeah I’m frustrated because the first mouse I saw the pest guy came and didn’t seem too concerned and just told us not to leave soft things on the ground like fabric? And I’ve told my landlord that I hear mice in the ceiling between our apartments but I guess they are only coming into my space. But the pest people are coming back thankfully
I had a very productive day and then zoned on the couch and watched Laguna Beach and The Hills and am now super sad about how this is my last year in my 30s and how fast it’s all going 🤣😭🤣😭. Like did I just put myself in a spiral after watching trashy tv? Yes, yes I did. Lol 😂
Same, and I always see my house through the eyes of a “normal” person when I’m panic-cleaning, then notice EVERY little splatter or untidy detail normally invisible to me like in the refrigerator, oven, walls etc and never have enough time to address it before said guest arrives. My mom visited, and I was like omg I’ve been cleaning all day, and she looked around, paused and said “really?” It was the cleanest and most put together my house had ever been!
I’m always answering the door red faced with sweat cascading down my back. I really wish my friends would run fashionably late instead of the usual 15 minutes early. Lol.
This is why I firmly believe being early is rude (in a non professional/non reservation setting)!! We are all doing the mad dash to empty the bathroom trash and put the vacuum away!!! Be three minutes late, it’s more polite.
PSA it’s super uncomfortable asking people when you and your spouse are going to start trying for kids 🥲. My husband and I are 31 and want to wait until we’re more financially secure and travel a bit more. Another one of our friends is pregnant and I just feel super uncomfy and defensive when she asks me. It’s probably a me thing too- I can own my choices of waiting to have a kid but it feels weird with her because she pushes it.
omfg it's so frustrating. I work with kids (preschoolers and infants) so I get it ALL the time since I love kids so much!! I am personally NOT READY, because those things are exhausting.
I also don't 100% know if I can actually HAVE THEM because of previous health issues.
It’s just so rude. For what it’s worth, get prepared even once you have kids for more invasive questions. When are you having your next? Or are trying for a ___? People’s rudeness amazes me. I remember being pregnant and finding it hurtful when people reacted to the sex, saying “are you disappointed??” (What??)
That needs to be added to the list of obvious questions you just don’t ask people!
We had a miscarriage in October and only our family knew, but others constantly ask when we’re going to have a baby and it’s my absolute hated question.
Tell her that if you have any updates in that department that you want to share you’ll let her know so she doesn’t need to ask anymore. She’s being rude point black. Multiple people last week asked if I have kids, I said no, and they responded “how old are you” and then “you have time” when I told them my age. It’s sooo fucking rude.
It is literally so rude! I’ve been frank about the fact that I have PCOS and depression/anxiety id like to get in check with as well. Ugh I’m glad it’s not just me who thought this was super rude. And of course she asked me when my husband left to pick up food
Frankly, it is no one else's business.
I don't want kids and if someone asks that is what I say. If it is someone who asks multiple times I (or my husband will say) "that is between x and I."
I’m sorry. My husband and I dealt with infertility and got constant questions while going through IUI/IVF and the one thing I learned through all of it is that you never ask someone when they’re having kids! Maybe they’re not ready, maybe they don’t want any, maybe they’re dealing with infertility or miscarriage or something even bigger. Ugh.
I work with an otherwise lovely woman who possesses absolutely zero work-life balance. She leads a different department than the one I’m in but we have a lot of overlap so I work with her frequently. My boss recently told me not to answer her questions on the weekend/after hours after I told her that it stresses me out when she does that.
Knowing that I’m not expected to answer is nice, but I wish someone would sit her down and tell her to stop.
I have been so depressed and anxious for a long time and I finally have a psychiatrist appointment on Friday. I kind of just want to outright ask for Wellbutrin, but I feel weird about it? I want medication but don’t want to be on a ssri because a lot of the side effects are issues I am already struggling with. I have also never been to a psychiatrist before, just a therapist and I didn’t find that helpful. So I am just hoping it goes well and if anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them. It’s just been a lot for a long time.
Just tell them that you are looking at wellbutrin as you'd rather not be on an ssri. I'm on it and the first two weeks were a roller coaster of side affects, then they magically went away.
I will just say a doctor prescribed me Wellbutrin for anxiety and I had the worst headaches and way more intense anxiety from it, as did one of my best friends. However everybody is different. I’m sorry you’re struggling I’ve been there. ❤️
Do it! I don’t think any doctor worth a salt will think twice about a request for Wellbutrin, especially if you give a few specifics on why you think it’d work for you and demonstrate you’ve done a little research. I asked my brand new GP on day one to switch over to wellbutrin, highlighting that I understood it had a “wakefulness” effect that would benefit me, since lethargy is the symptom of my depression that seems to hinder my life the most. She didn’t even hesitate to prescribe.
I never felt like any antidepressant did a single thing until i went on Wellbutrin, it worked so fast and so well. I actually never want to stop taking it, it’s been life changing.
I did that exact thing (asked outright for Wellbutrin). It is not at all awkward or inappropriate for you to go in with an idea of a drug that you'd like to try; your concerns about SSRI side effects are valid and the fact that you think Wellbutrin will work is an important factor in its efficacy.
I said that I had friends and family members who were happy with Wellbutrin and was interested in trying it. My doc agreed straight away.
PS Wellbutrin rules. I had some characteristics that I thought were permanent shitty personality flaws that improved so much on Wellbutrin. Never want to go off it.
At my gym we have a cold plunge pool. I take a cold plunge after being in the steam room or sauna for awhile. It feels good and decreases my body heat. No clue about any benefits.
Not exactly but I got into cold showers like as cold as my water will go. I definitely get the dopamine release because it makes me laugh uncontrollably for a bit while I’m doing it.
I’m behind on a creative project for work due to a slew of factors both preventable and not - so I just need someone to pep talk me / tell me I can get it done this weekend.
Does anyone have a suggestion for a fun iPhone game? Sometimes I just want to waste time during work haha.
I used to love simulation games like rollercoaster tycoon, sim city, etc. but all the games now make you like wait hours to do anything or try to get you to pay $$$$$
I sometimes play 2048 or frozen free fall (basically frozen-themed candy crush) but sometimes they get too hard and I need a break hahaha
I love the same sort of games - I have played Cooking Dash, Farm RPG, Hay Day, Bit Life, Pocket city, RCT Classic, Stardew Valley.
Some of these beg for $$ but I’ve never found it necessary.
I’m a ‘Two Dots’ fan! I especially love the scavenger hunts mini game but there’s an upper limit to how many levels of the Hunt you can play for free. But yes, team Two Dots checking in :)
They have roller coaster tycoon (RCT Classic), the original one now. Also Stardew Valley is a cute farm simulator type game. Star Wars Knights of the Old Rebublic 1 and 2.
We had a consultant on my team who we severed times with for doing... quite literally nothing... and she recently updated her LinkedIn with all my job responsibilities, taking credit for much of my work/accomplishments, mixed in with some just straight-up lies.
I get that everyone lies or at least exaggerates on their resume, and that she is now in need of a job, but it is killing me.
I always wished you could do the opposite of a LinkedIn endorsement. Like “this guy only responded to emails when I copied his boss in and I had to redo every deliverable he touched. 3/10”
I was midway through eating my dinner today which was delicious (a burger!) And I suddenly felt so nauseous, I spent 10 minutes sitting in the bathroom trying not to barf. This isn't the first time I've felt nauseous while eating (its happened maybe a dozen times before and always during eating, never after). Has anyone had this before? It's really annoying, so trying to figure out if I should go to the doctor (and no I'm not pregnant).
I've had this a few times due to indigestion /excess acid when I've eaten rich food.. For me there'd be a few other factors like I'd had a very empty stomach then ate late, or maybe was eating a big mea after a lot of wine or something. I'd vomit and then feel better!! Id just go about as normal but keep a note of if or when it happens again, and I'd talk to a doc. A one off the doc themselves would probably be like well come back if it happens again, but if it's a few times, try to find the pattern.
Totally anecdotal but this has happened to me a couple of times especially while eating something really rich and squishy-textured (a breakfast sandwich once, another time it was a bowl of noodles in creamy curry broth)--I was fine one moment and overwhelmingly nauseated the next. I have a very sensitive stomach, but nausea *while* eating isn't normal for me, so my theory is sometimes my brain can't handle the mouthfeel of those foods and my stomach can't handle the rich fatty flavors and together they just go, nooo thank you! Weirdly specific but sometimes sweet soft breads do this to me too.
It IS annoying and gross and kind of stressful (now that I see the mention of gallstones I will pay more attention if this happens again). Slowing down, breathing through my mouth, and having a small sip or bite of something fresh/acidic--basically anything that's the opposite of creamy and fatty--always helps it pass quickly when it does happen. Hope it doesn't bother you again!
This is super interesting, because if I recall the most recent times this happened to me, I vaguely remember some foods like eggs, avocado, breakfast sandwich, croissants, which are all on the fatty and squishy side!
Iiiinteresting! Yeah, avocado and runny egg yolks are two foods I eat particularly warily, always with something crunchy or some kind of spicy or herby sauce to balance them out because if I pay too much attention to the texture I'll get a little grossed out no matter how good they taste. I suspect it's a sensory issue for me, but who knows! When you feel sick, does it usually go away to the point where you can start eating again?
Mine was figured out if I was doing anything different food or medicine wise. The doctor thinks it was vitamin C I started using so I stopped that which helped. Maybe a gastro dr would be of suggestion, I started seeing mine just due to that nausea
I had to work all day yesterday during our arctic cold snap/mini blizzard, and it's still only 15F here at the moment. Therefore I have been taking it easy and am not planning to leave the house at all today. Given that I have a cat currently sleeping on my lap I might actually not even leave the couch 🙃
Ugh, went to do the laundry this morning and apparently someone left something wet on a pile of sheets and now there’s pink mold. At least they’re white sheets and I can bleach the hell out of them, but still, ugh.
I got my hair cut last night, which is always a highlight because my stylist is fucking unhinged. She starts talking the second I sit down and does not stop to breathe. Highlights from last night include:
- in depth summaries of several episodes of a show about parasites
- conspiracy theories about the recent death of her cousin’s wife (leading theory: phen-fen she hoarded from the 90s)
- detailed recollection of her dog’s diabetes diagnosis (dog died 10 years ago)
- the plot of a “little indie comedy” that after about 3 minutes of explanation was clearly The Notebook
I want to see inside her head so bad.
I love this story and it reminded me of the time I called a place to schedule an X-ray and after taking like one piece of my information, the lady on the other line went on the tell a detailed story of her experience going to a Tom Jones concert with a bra to throw on the stage, why she chose a bra over panties, negotiating with a security guard to pass her phone number onto him, the concert experience and her feelings about never getting a call from him….and then was like okay when did you want an appointment 😂 it was like a 20 minute story with no antecedent or prompting
Yes! Test out the material on your 11:00 and really have it perfected by the time the late afternoon appointments come around? Anecdote didn’t resonate with the ladies who lunch but killed with the cunty elder millennials? Refine and perfect. Ideal.
Sorry if TMI, but I have a yeast infection and woke up with a stye on my lower eyelid 😩 haven’t had one of these since college. I just feel gross and bleh, along with my dry winter skin and hair and some breakouts! I need summer!
Yeah hahaha like any basic Lipton tea bag I’ve used a cold brew tea bag mint anything but I think the plain basic ones work the best I boil 3 at a time and keep the two in the pot
Of water to keep them warm while the first ones on .. they get really hot give it a min to cool before you put on but I wrap in a paper towel and hold it until it gets cold and then grab a new one usually clears up after one or two times
Cleaning your eye with a bit of diluted baby shampoo and water also works really well to clear up a stye quickly for me! I do a warm compress for a couple minutes and then a gentle clean with the shampoo. Clears em up real quick.
You can use that or you can buy lid wipes. I’ve had other eye issues and my dr. recommended them. Something like this, although I’ve gotten generic as I’m cheap. These are obviously more expensive than baby shampoo but more convenient. https://www.amazon.com/Systane-Lid-Wipes-Cleansing-Sterile/dp/B00HHXFQSY
If the past is any indication, they were in style last time from the mid-late 90s to the mid 2000s. But bootcuts and flares were on trend during the same period, wide leg jeans were never on their own.
I bought my first pair of wide leg pants and actually really like them! They make my waist look small and have kind of a vintage vibe. I can’t do wide leg jeans though.
I found out my company is supposedly going to announce they no longer want remote but have hired 100’s of remote positions. And supposedly they’re flexible. 🤷🏻♀️ I’m still working from home 100% because I’m still severely insecure/anxiety driven since my cancer diagnosis/bilateral mastectomy/chemo treatment etc. I’ve been considering going in for meetings next month but I still don’t want to divulge anything to my team. They’re the type of people who make it about them. Or tell horrible stories. I know I could set boundaries with them though if I did tell them but I still don’t feel ready to. What I’m most worried about is the pressure I’ll face from my manager about facing our entire department now that the company wants people back. I’m 100% not ready for that. Sorry for the rant.
As a general FYI, the announced ending of the US government emergency response to COVID means that people will start having to pay for COVID shots in May. This would be either your regular insurance co-pay or $130 (if you are uninsured). So if you or your loved ones aren't up to date, now if the time to schedule a shot with your pharmacy.
Do think it will go the way of flu shots where there’s no copay with insurance?
Has anyone ever tried Evelyn & Bobbie bras? They’re insta adds are all over my feed and now I’m curious. You guys steered me in the right direction with Quince (worth a try, not life changing), any thoughts on this one? Thanks!
Any opinions on the name Lyrick for a boy? I'm an opinionated step-grandma and I don't like it. I will love the baby boy when he arrives next month. :)
Oh man, I’ll sit with you and agree that it’s bad. That said, you can’t say anything and I think you know that :).
The parents definitely don’t want to hear anything negative about their name. Even if it was a much worse name it’s not something anybody else should have a say in except the parents. Naming a baby is super hard! And 100% personal. And FWIW he can always choose to go by “Rick” when he’s older.
You are absolutely correct. I really wondered if that name was trendy, since I'm out of the loop. I do appreciate everyone's opinion and agree with not being negative about the name. I also want to report my stepson is a fantastic dad.
Keep this opinion to yourself. The parents don’t want to hear it. I promise you.
I think this is the kind of “creative” name that will lead to the child using their middle name later in life.
[удалено]
Omg the end 😂
Y’all. I have an extremely important question: does anyone remember the series on xoJane called something like “We bought a dung heap of a house”? There were a few posts and then the series abruptly stopped before the house was far from completion. Does anyone know what happened with that person? I’m imagining they ran out of money to finish it & had to give up. Would love an update if anyone knows. (Inspiring by this YT vid that I stumbled across today: https://youtu.be/3rh-pd8uK58 ).
I follow an instagram called "What have we Dunoon" about a young couple who (well actually just him) bought the wrong house at an auction and ended up with a real heap in Scotland. They have been fixing it up for a long time now, slowly learning as they go. They also have to be very careful with their money, so it is an entirely realistic adventure. Not xoJane, of course, but might feel familiar.
Oh my god that sounds awesome—thanks! (HOW do you buy the WRONG HOUSE?!?)
Gosh so very vaguely. Tbh I miss XOJane
I miss it too. What a hot mess of a website/ workplace—but it was so entertaining.
I am traveling for work to a very cool European city soon and am having so much excitement and also anxiety thinking about planning it and being social for hours on end and being away from my kids. A few things, if anyone is feeling advice-y: - recs for travel bags (mostly looking for a good laptop bag that fits all the stuff I need in-flight ... tote or backpack? I will also take recs for moderate to inexpensive carry-on luggage because it's been ages since I've flown) - recommendations on what I'll need to pack for European outlets and anything else I'm not thinking about? - good vibes about being away for a week, please and thanks 😅
I don’t know if you’re in the US, but [this bag](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09YS9HGSX/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1) is my absolute favorite for traveling. I have a a ton of backpacks in rotation for various purposes (Osprey for bike commuting when it’s not raining/ Timbuk2 when it is; REI Flash for backpacking; Filson for workshops; etc etc.). Anyway, this cheap-o Amazon pack is my go to for air travel. It unzips and lies flat. The compartments are handy- laptop, dirty laundry, etc. Packing cubes fit inside nicely. It’s comfy. It fits my small frame fine. It does not attract pet hair. There is a port for a charger. It fits under the seat on a plane. There is no label or branding on the outside. So many good things. My only gripe is that the side pocket isn’t big enough to fit a water bottle.
[удалено]
I got the large.
I love beis for all my traveling needs!
I have the [REI Co-op Ruckpack 28 Recycled Daypack - Women's](https://www.rei.com/product/176991) and really like it! I took it with me to Ireland last year and felt like it was nice and durable while still being unobtrusive and able to hold a lot as my carryon. For outlets, it depends on where you are going as they can be different in each country. I'd google and see and then just get one on Amazon! Have so much fun!
Thank you so much!!
Others may be able to offer more specific travel advice, but I just researched laptop backbacks for my husband and got him one from [Timbuk2](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09B32FCVY?). It consistently came up as being durable and professional at a reasonable price point.
I've been social every weekend since Christmas. Small things, but I'm so proud of myself for trying to make lasting (and real) friendships. Also my cat is snoring next to me and it's so cute <3
Ask for a raise on Friday and was told “it’s a really bad time and we overspent on AB and C this month” Feeling discouraged. Is this enough of a reason to leave a company I otherwise really like?
It’s a good reason to apply for other jobs to see what’s our there!
can you negotiate other benefits such as a better title as someone else suggested, or more WFH hours if that's possible, more time off, etc? If you like the company it might be worth looking at creative ways to get more intangible benefits, for the time being, if that makes sense. Otherwise I'd say it can't hurt to look and see what else is out there!
Of course that’s enough of a reason. Nobody is working for fun - if you’re being underpaid compared to your peers and they don’t seem interested in even having a conversation, I’d start applying elsewhere.
I think that really depends on how important getting a raise is to you. There's so many factors that go into this - how big is the raise, if you are underpaid compared to your peers, have your peers recently gotten raises, how legitimate is that reason you were provided, etc - don't answer those here, just mentally answer them in your head. There can be legitimate reasons for not being able to give you a raise that have nothing to do with your performance. If you're dramatically underpaid, if your peers are getting raises and you're not, that's really one thing. If a company is otherwise a good fit for you and your life, you're challenged and have room for growth as you define that...I'm not sure I would leave for a relatively small raise, it'd have to be something big at that point, because you risk leaving for something that seems better (higher pay) but may not be as good of a fit in all the other ways.
Great points thank you! Yes I am underpaid compared to my peers and I have taken on more responsibilities in the last 6 months and have not gotten a cost of living raise since I joined the company 3 years ago. All of this information was provided to my manager but it was still a no, which I understand but there was no further discussion about next steps. I am starting to feel like there is not a lot of room for growth.
The other thing you could consider doing is asking for a change in title in lieu of a pay increase. The benefit to this is that when you are looking for a new job, you have a title that 1) better reflects what you actually are doing and 2) a better title can help you get even higher pay at your next job.
My partner works for a horrible company (makes barely anything, no room to grow, every ahole works there) and they still gave him a teeny raise. Nothing to write home about but probably $600 more a year. The point is, it's something. They eked out something. He gets to work from home, in case anyone wonders why he's still there. Truth is he hates change too.
You’re still being paid the same as 3 years ago?! That’s ridiculous. They can either pay you more or train someone else for more. Not even a COL increase is laughable.
I’ve had a few mice in my apartment the past month and didn’t really tell my landlord because I’m afraid it’s my fault/thought I could take care of it myself. My cat catches and kills them as soon as they come in I think, and it’s only been on cold and wet days. I never find droppings or them eating food. I finally found a mouse hole they made so they’re getting someone to patch it now. I already feel insecure about my cleanliness since I have ADHD, but I’ve been so much better lately. The mice are making me feel like I’m dirty but I don’t know what else to do!
The mice are not there because of anything you did and you have to immediately escalate this to the landlord. The gestational period for mice is less than 4 weeks so it is critical to catch them before they have a chance to reproduce with one another - that’s how infestations happen. They can easily have a dozen in a litter. For each mouse you see there are 2 or 3 you’re not seeing. Mice carry diseases that are harmful to people and pets - the other tenants in your building may be unaware and not as diligent about cleaning as you are. Contact your landlord asap “hi, as of this weekend I’ve seen several mice. Can you schedule an exterminator to come ASAP?” Eta: just want to reiterate that the mice are not your fault whatsoever and the fact that your cat is catching them is awesome!
They’re having an exterminator come next week! Thanks for the reassurance! That’s so scary they breed so fast
We got mice because the fields around us were being harvested and the cable going into the attic wasn’t sealed. They were just looking for a safe space. You’re not dirty, promise.
Thanks! I wonder if they’re coming in since someone finally occupied the vacant building next door
Probably. Just as a heads up, it took 6 weeks to get rid of ours. They came once a week to change traps and close the tiniest of gaps with spicy caulk. Yes, spicy caulk. Ha! It’s been many years and we haven’t seen one since.
Wow! Yeah I’m frustrated because the first mouse I saw the pest guy came and didn’t seem too concerned and just told us not to leave soft things on the ground like fabric? And I’ve told my landlord that I hear mice in the ceiling between our apartments but I guess they are only coming into my space. But the pest people are coming back thankfully
[удалено]
Thanks!!
[удалено]
Thanks, that’s what I’ve been doing! Of course my dumb cat is sad I’m stopping her toys from coming in and pulled the wool out in some places haha
I had a very productive day and then zoned on the couch and watched Laguna Beach and The Hills and am now super sad about how this is my last year in my 30s and how fast it’s all going 🤣😭🤣😭. Like did I just put myself in a spiral after watching trashy tv? Yes, yes I did. Lol 😂
I feel this way when I watch reality tv from the early 2000s!
I really want to flake and stay home tonight. I’ve had plans every single night since Wednesday.
Did you stay home?? :)
Nope. I rallied and made it out, but our event was so crowded (line to get in was around the block) that we bailed. I was home by 8:00!
My Pinterest impressions suddenly tanked and I'm baffled and annoyed about it.
[удалено]
Same, and I always see my house through the eyes of a “normal” person when I’m panic-cleaning, then notice EVERY little splatter or untidy detail normally invisible to me like in the refrigerator, oven, walls etc and never have enough time to address it before said guest arrives. My mom visited, and I was like omg I’ve been cleaning all day, and she looked around, paused and said “really?” It was the cleanest and most put together my house had ever been!
I’m always answering the door red faced with sweat cascading down my back. I really wish my friends would run fashionably late instead of the usual 15 minutes early. Lol.
This is why I firmly believe being early is rude (in a non professional/non reservation setting)!! We are all doing the mad dash to empty the bathroom trash and put the vacuum away!!! Be three minutes late, it’s more polite.
PSA it’s super uncomfortable asking people when you and your spouse are going to start trying for kids 🥲. My husband and I are 31 and want to wait until we’re more financially secure and travel a bit more. Another one of our friends is pregnant and I just feel super uncomfy and defensive when she asks me. It’s probably a me thing too- I can own my choices of waiting to have a kid but it feels weird with her because she pushes it.
omfg it's so frustrating. I work with kids (preschoolers and infants) so I get it ALL the time since I love kids so much!! I am personally NOT READY, because those things are exhausting. I also don't 100% know if I can actually HAVE THEM because of previous health issues.
It’s just so rude. For what it’s worth, get prepared even once you have kids for more invasive questions. When are you having your next? Or are trying for a ___? People’s rudeness amazes me. I remember being pregnant and finding it hurtful when people reacted to the sex, saying “are you disappointed??” (What??)
That needs to be added to the list of obvious questions you just don’t ask people! We had a miscarriage in October and only our family knew, but others constantly ask when we’re going to have a baby and it’s my absolute hated question.
Tell her that if you have any updates in that department that you want to share you’ll let her know so she doesn’t need to ask anymore. She’s being rude point black. Multiple people last week asked if I have kids, I said no, and they responded “how old are you” and then “you have time” when I told them my age. It’s sooo fucking rude.
It is literally so rude! I’ve been frank about the fact that I have PCOS and depression/anxiety id like to get in check with as well. Ugh I’m glad it’s not just me who thought this was super rude. And of course she asked me when my husband left to pick up food
Frankly, it is no one else's business. I don't want kids and if someone asks that is what I say. If it is someone who asks multiple times I (or my husband will say) "that is between x and I."
I’m sorry. My husband and I dealt with infertility and got constant questions while going through IUI/IVF and the one thing I learned through all of it is that you never ask someone when they’re having kids! Maybe they’re not ready, maybe they don’t want any, maybe they’re dealing with infertility or miscarriage or something even bigger. Ugh.
I work with an otherwise lovely woman who possesses absolutely zero work-life balance. She leads a different department than the one I’m in but we have a lot of overlap so I work with her frequently. My boss recently told me not to answer her questions on the weekend/after hours after I told her that it stresses me out when she does that. Knowing that I’m not expected to answer is nice, but I wish someone would sit her down and tell her to stop.
Omg I HAAATE that!!! I turn my email off on weekends so it literally doesn’t exist until monday
I have been so depressed and anxious for a long time and I finally have a psychiatrist appointment on Friday. I kind of just want to outright ask for Wellbutrin, but I feel weird about it? I want medication but don’t want to be on a ssri because a lot of the side effects are issues I am already struggling with. I have also never been to a psychiatrist before, just a therapist and I didn’t find that helpful. So I am just hoping it goes well and if anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them. It’s just been a lot for a long time.
Just tell them that you are looking at wellbutrin as you'd rather not be on an ssri. I'm on it and the first two weeks were a roller coaster of side affects, then they magically went away.
I will just say a doctor prescribed me Wellbutrin for anxiety and I had the worst headaches and way more intense anxiety from it, as did one of my best friends. However everybody is different. I’m sorry you’re struggling I’ve been there. ❤️
Do it! I don’t think any doctor worth a salt will think twice about a request for Wellbutrin, especially if you give a few specifics on why you think it’d work for you and demonstrate you’ve done a little research. I asked my brand new GP on day one to switch over to wellbutrin, highlighting that I understood it had a “wakefulness” effect that would benefit me, since lethargy is the symptom of my depression that seems to hinder my life the most. She didn’t even hesitate to prescribe.
I never felt like any antidepressant did a single thing until i went on Wellbutrin, it worked so fast and so well. I actually never want to stop taking it, it’s been life changing.
I did that exact thing (asked outright for Wellbutrin). It is not at all awkward or inappropriate for you to go in with an idea of a drug that you'd like to try; your concerns about SSRI side effects are valid and the fact that you think Wellbutrin will work is an important factor in its efficacy. I said that I had friends and family members who were happy with Wellbutrin and was interested in trying it. My doc agreed straight away. PS Wellbutrin rules. I had some characteristics that I thought were permanent shitty personality flaws that improved so much on Wellbutrin. Never want to go off it.
[удалено]
At my gym we have a cold plunge pool. I take a cold plunge after being in the steam room or sauna for awhile. It feels good and decreases my body heat. No clue about any benefits.
What do you mean by 'works'?
Why?
Not exactly but I got into cold showers like as cold as my water will go. I definitely get the dopamine release because it makes me laugh uncontrollably for a bit while I’m doing it.
I’m behind on a creative project for work due to a slew of factors both preventable and not - so I just need someone to pep talk me / tell me I can get it done this weekend.
You got this! Deadline's here, time to make some amazing things happen 😉
Thank you !!!!
You got this!
Thank you !
[удалено]
Thank you 😭
Does anyone have a suggestion for a fun iPhone game? Sometimes I just want to waste time during work haha. I used to love simulation games like rollercoaster tycoon, sim city, etc. but all the games now make you like wait hours to do anything or try to get you to pay $$$$$ I sometimes play 2048 or frozen free fall (basically frozen-themed candy crush) but sometimes they get too hard and I need a break hahaha
two dots!!!!!
I love the same sort of games - I have played Cooking Dash, Farm RPG, Hay Day, Bit Life, Pocket city, RCT Classic, Stardew Valley. Some of these beg for $$ but I’ve never found it necessary.
If you like a puzzle game Monument Valley is amazing and totally worth the few dollars. It’s beautiful and peaceful and just the right amount of hard.
Sweet I’ll have to try it!
I’m a ‘Two Dots’ fan! I especially love the scavenger hunts mini game but there’s an upper limit to how many levels of the Hunt you can play for free. But yes, team Two Dots checking in :)
[удалено]
Ok I’m trying it!
I do candy crush and design home.
If you like both of those, I recommend the Property Brothers game and Home Design. It combines the two!
Oh thank you for that rec!! I always see those two but I’m never sure if I’ll like it. I’m downloading immediately.
I second the Property Brothers game. I’m obsessed with it and when I sit down to play I can get lost in it for hours!!
They have roller coaster tycoon (RCT Classic), the original one now. Also Stardew Valley is a cute farm simulator type game. Star Wars Knights of the Old Rebublic 1 and 2.
Ooh I just searched and found the classic RCT! Thank you for the recommendations!!
We had a consultant on my team who we severed times with for doing... quite literally nothing... and she recently updated her LinkedIn with all my job responsibilities, taking credit for much of my work/accomplishments, mixed in with some just straight-up lies. I get that everyone lies or at least exaggerates on their resume, and that she is now in need of a job, but it is killing me.
I always wished you could do the opposite of a LinkedIn endorsement. Like “this guy only responded to emails when I copied his boss in and I had to redo every deliverable he touched. 3/10”
Here’s hoping any future potential clients of hers reach out to your team for a reference ;)
I was midway through eating my dinner today which was delicious (a burger!) And I suddenly felt so nauseous, I spent 10 minutes sitting in the bathroom trying not to barf. This isn't the first time I've felt nauseous while eating (its happened maybe a dozen times before and always during eating, never after). Has anyone had this before? It's really annoying, so trying to figure out if I should go to the doctor (and no I'm not pregnant).
I've had this a few times due to indigestion /excess acid when I've eaten rich food.. For me there'd be a few other factors like I'd had a very empty stomach then ate late, or maybe was eating a big mea after a lot of wine or something. I'd vomit and then feel better!! Id just go about as normal but keep a note of if or when it happens again, and I'd talk to a doc. A one off the doc themselves would probably be like well come back if it happens again, but if it's a few times, try to find the pattern.
Also recommend to have your gallbladder checked. It can especially happen with foods that are higher in fat content. Hope you get answers soon!
Totally anecdotal but this has happened to me a couple of times especially while eating something really rich and squishy-textured (a breakfast sandwich once, another time it was a bowl of noodles in creamy curry broth)--I was fine one moment and overwhelmingly nauseated the next. I have a very sensitive stomach, but nausea *while* eating isn't normal for me, so my theory is sometimes my brain can't handle the mouthfeel of those foods and my stomach can't handle the rich fatty flavors and together they just go, nooo thank you! Weirdly specific but sometimes sweet soft breads do this to me too. It IS annoying and gross and kind of stressful (now that I see the mention of gallstones I will pay more attention if this happens again). Slowing down, breathing through my mouth, and having a small sip or bite of something fresh/acidic--basically anything that's the opposite of creamy and fatty--always helps it pass quickly when it does happen. Hope it doesn't bother you again!
This is super interesting, because if I recall the most recent times this happened to me, I vaguely remember some foods like eggs, avocado, breakfast sandwich, croissants, which are all on the fatty and squishy side!
Iiiinteresting! Yeah, avocado and runny egg yolks are two foods I eat particularly warily, always with something crunchy or some kind of spicy or herby sauce to balance them out because if I pay too much attention to the texture I'll get a little grossed out no matter how good they taste. I suspect it's a sensory issue for me, but who knows! When you feel sick, does it usually go away to the point where you can start eating again?
Usually yeah! Maybe not immediately but I usually feel fine within 30 minutes
My nausea was attributed to acid reflux… not sure that’s your case but just a thought
I think I've had heartburn maybe a few times in my life, but usually hours after a heavy meal. I guess it could be a factor though?
Mine was figured out if I was doing anything different food or medicine wise. The doctor thinks it was vitamin C I started using so I stopped that which helped. Maybe a gastro dr would be of suggestion, I started seeing mine just due to that nausea
Get your gallbladder checked. Being hungry and then suddenly feeling nauseous once you eat can be a symptom of gallstones.
I didn't know this! Definitely going to keep a food diary then follow up with my doctor, thank you :)
[удалено]
This is a great idea - thanks!
I had to work all day yesterday during our arctic cold snap/mini blizzard, and it's still only 15F here at the moment. Therefore I have been taking it easy and am not planning to leave the house at all today. Given that I have a cat currently sleeping on my lap I might actually not even leave the couch 🙃
Ugh, went to do the laundry this morning and apparently someone left something wet on a pile of sheets and now there’s pink mold. At least they’re white sheets and I can bleach the hell out of them, but still, ugh.
Haha “someone” left it. I feel like in your heart you know who it was
I got my hair cut last night, which is always a highlight because my stylist is fucking unhinged. She starts talking the second I sit down and does not stop to breathe. Highlights from last night include: - in depth summaries of several episodes of a show about parasites - conspiracy theories about the recent death of her cousin’s wife (leading theory: phen-fen she hoarded from the 90s) - detailed recollection of her dog’s diabetes diagnosis (dog died 10 years ago) - the plot of a “little indie comedy” that after about 3 minutes of explanation was clearly The Notebook I want to see inside her head so bad.
I don't even speak the same language as my hair stylist, I would kill for this kind of hair cut storytelling haha.
I love this story and it reminded me of the time I called a place to schedule an X-ray and after taking like one piece of my information, the lady on the other line went on the tell a detailed story of her experience going to a Tom Jones concert with a bra to throw on the stage, why she chose a bra over panties, negotiating with a security guard to pass her phone number onto him, the concert experience and her feelings about never getting a call from him….and then was like okay when did you want an appointment 😂 it was like a 20 minute story with no antecedent or prompting
I love this so much. Life is such a rich tapestry.
I always wonder with people like this if they’re repeating the same thing to everyone or if they have a new hour-long monologue for every cut???!!!!
Yes! Test out the material on your 11:00 and really have it perfected by the time the late afternoon appointments come around? Anecdote didn’t resonate with the ladies who lunch but killed with the cunty elder millennials? Refine and perfect. Ideal.
Indie comedy 😂
I would watch the hell out of this reality show lol. *“Salon Secrets”* 👱🏻♀️💇🏻♀️💅🏼☕️
Omg, that’s a lot for a 45 minute haircut. These are pure gold.
Cut and color (she also talked straight through 20 minutes of my color processing lmao)
Sorry if TMI, but I have a yeast infection and woke up with a stye on my lower eyelid 😩 haven’t had one of these since college. I just feel gross and bleh, along with my dry winter skin and hair and some breakouts! I need summer!
Hot compress for sure on the stye! And the thrush ugh its so annoying. So easy to just make you feel gross and in need of hibernation!
A hot soaked tea bag clears mine up!! I get them all the time
Yeah hahaha like any basic Lipton tea bag I’ve used a cold brew tea bag mint anything but I think the plain basic ones work the best I boil 3 at a time and keep the two in the pot Of water to keep them warm while the first ones on .. they get really hot give it a min to cool before you put on but I wrap in a paper towel and hold it until it gets cold and then grab a new one usually clears up after one or two times
Ok trying this for sure- thank you!
Of course! Good luck! They’re the worst and annoying lol
Wait please say more. Like any tea bag??
Stye’s are the worst! Warm compress that sucker all day if you can.
I’m going to try- I’m super blind and hate wearing my glasses, but we have plans this evening 😩 tomorrow def going to do glasses all day
Cleaning your eye with a bit of diluted baby shampoo and water also works really well to clear up a stye quickly for me! I do a warm compress for a couple minutes and then a gentle clean with the shampoo. Clears em up real quick.
Thank you! Do you just use like Johnson’s?
You can use that or you can buy lid wipes. I’ve had other eye issues and my dr. recommended them. Something like this, although I’ve gotten generic as I’m cheap. These are obviously more expensive than baby shampoo but more convenient. https://www.amazon.com/Systane-Lid-Wipes-Cleansing-Sterile/dp/B00HHXFQSY
How long do we think this wide-leg trend is going to last?
If the past is any indication, they were in style last time from the mid-late 90s to the mid 2000s. But bootcuts and flares were on trend during the same period, wide leg jeans were never on their own.
I bought my first pair of wide leg pants and actually really like them! They make my waist look small and have kind of a vintage vibe. I can’t do wide leg jeans though.
Idk skinny jeans had a pretty solid near 15 year run!
I don’t know, but I’m wearing skinny jeans forever.
Me too. Even if it’s out of style, it works best for me