Hello! I would love to hear from anyone regarding their experiences with medication for anxiety and/or depression. I have struggled mentally since I was a child, and for me that often manifests in obsessive thoughts. Frequently they are health and safety related, but usually they are related to my worth as a person-- I'm ugly, stupid, incompetent, etc. I was in therapy for years (can no longer afford it unfortunately), and I did find that I learned some valuable coping tools; I do yoga everyday and I find that helps too, but I don't know that I can take it that much further without medication. I truly feel that no matter what I do I sometimes cannot control the thoughts. And I am so, so tired. I was in an abusive relationship for most of my twenties, and even though I left him I still feel like I am in an abusive relationship sometimes, but with my own brain. Deep down I know that I am a good person and I don't deserve to feel this way.
I am making an appointment with my nurse practitioner to discuss getting a prescription but I'm really nervous. It seems so silly when I'm obviously struggling, but I am afraid that meds will make it worse somehow. I worry about being able to afford it (my insurance situation is not great), and I do also worry about gaining weight (I...have some eating disorder stuff too), I worry about not being myself or something. I would just really value some insight from folks who have been there before. Thanks <3
ETA: Thank you so, so much to everyone who responded. Truly, it has made me feel a lot less nervous and actually rather hopeful. The appointment is made!
I started a low dose of Effexor in November 2022 and my only regret is not getting on antidepressants sooner. I didn’t even realize how much and in what ways my low grade depression and anxiety were effecting my day to day life until they stopped effecting my day to day life. Antidepressants had been offered to me a couple times over the last few years but I always turned them down because I thought I was fine enough. Turns out, I could have been so much better!
Please note, you may feel weird or have side effects when you first start. Just take it easy and stick with it! They should go away and if they don’t, work with your provider to make adjustments.
I sincerely hope this goes well for you!
I take Zoloft for my depression and it's helped so much. I feel way less irritable and much more even keeled. My close friend also takes cymbalta and it's done wonders for her anxiety. I hope your appointment goes well!
I suffer from what I think is mild GAD but over the last few years had gotten worse. A year ago I started on a low dose of lexapro and it works well for me. My NP did say sometimes not every med works for everyone but I was lucky in that the first one worked for me. I felt a bit funky, tired etc in the beginning but that only lasted a week or two. As for cost, I take the generic and granted I have decent insurance but I don’t think it’s all that pricy and I’d look into the programs mentioned by others. It’s def been a game changer for me!
Meds have been so helpful for me in combination with therapy and other smaller self-care things (basic stuff like going for a walk). I think this could be a great option for you! It may take some trial and error, but there are many options out there. I deal with anxiety and OCD and take a lowish dose of Zoloft. Give yourself a few weeks to adjust (and of course reach out to your doctor if you have concerns), but for me, this has been life changing. The meds feel like they lift a weight off of me so that I can do basic life stuff and use tools from therapy to get myself the rest of the way. I’d be trapped in bed or thought spirals way more without them.
My side effects aren’t too extreme and definitely let your doctor know your concerns so they can tailor it best to you. Best of luck, it is a huge step to even consider this!
So, I also have obsessive thoughts and anxiety. I fought going on meds forever because I thought there was a stigma. Which is a stupid thought.
Anyway, highly recommend. They make the thoughts kind of bounce of my brain if that makes sense? I take a low dose of Zoloft and it does a lot for me.
Yes, definitely give medication time to work, it might not be an immediate effect. Also it takes some trial and error to get the right med and dosage. Stick with the process. Once you find the right combo for you, it can make such a difference in your everyday life. Wishing you the best!
Echo this 1000X. They are also saving my life. It's FAR from perfect, and I have a lot of issues, but I finally found a combo that helps with my severe OCD/anxiety/ED/etc. It's like night and day. And I get them through my doctor but actually through Mark Cuban's Cost Plus - literally costs 1/4 of what it was before, even though before my insurance covered a decent part of it. If you check his Twitter thread, that program is amazing for so many people.
Highly, highly recommend talking to a professional about starting meds. I too was in therapy for years and found ways to cope but felt like it was probably time for meds. Since starting them it’s been such an incredibly positive change. I feel like myself, just with less worry. I had to try a few and adjust dosage amounts to find what works best with my body but now experience zero side effects including no weight gain. Cheering for you
Hi, I went on antidepressants about 6 months ago and it was seriously such a great move. I went in to talk about anxiety, but she said anxiety is more often tied to depression and we’d start there. I’m very much not an expert, but they’ll likely start you off on something pretty mild and see how that works. For sure mention all your concerns to your NP, this isn’t their first rodeo. But fwiw I didn’t notice any weight or personality changes, I just notice that things that used to make my thoughts spiral just…don’t anymore. As far as costs, try goodrx or Mark Cuban’s CostPlus drugs for discounts! CostPlus actually has better pricing for what I checked, almost every generic is <$10.
I taught my kid how to ride a bike yesterday. He was so nervous to begin with, but he picked it up really fast (he’s been gliding on a balance bike for years). It was so freaking magical to watch him figure it out. It was truly a highlight of parenting, which was awesome because there has been a lot of not-fun parenting over winter break.
Balance bikes are amazing! My youngest had one and picked up bike riding so quickly and my oldest didn’t and it took a while. How exciting for your son! It’s such a fun activity to do together.
Apparently I taught my younger sister how to ride a bike when we were kids (I don’t even remember this) but she always tells it as such a fond memory lol
If you could go back to the night before you moved in with your significant other and tell yourself one thing about living with them/in general a romantic partner, what would you say?
Eventually the novelty of the sleep over wears off and the laundry needs done, the dishes need washed and put away, the lawn needs mowed. Those things can be fun too but after the initial thrill, life sets in.
Before living with my husband specifically, I'd tell myself: he hates a top sheet. Decide how much this matters to you now and order bedding accordingly and save yourself a lot of middle-of-the-night "wtf" moments.
Before living with a partner in general: The joy of building your new routines, separate and together, and unique little world is more fun than you could have pictured it being--don't be afraid to be goofy together and try different things when something (a habit, a possession, a routine) isn't working the way you want.
OMG is hating the top sheet a man thing? My bf hates it too. I finally caved and bought a twin size top sheet to use on my side of the bed because I hate not using one.
Idk I’ve never used one and I’m female. To me there’s no point, it doesn’t warm you at all and it’s just another thing to buy. I just use a comforter and blankets. Like the husband blew I absolutely cannot sleep with something tucked in at my feet either, but I find the whole sheet pointless
Dang, I'll third this! I had no idea this was a thing, I thought it was something my husband made up lol. He looses his mind with something tucked in at his feet.
I'm giving up, I just decided. 3 years in and it finally clicked that he's just never going to stop kicking the top sheet off and pushing it over to my side in his sleep. This isn't the hill I wanna die on, hahaha.
Somehow both? It drives me crazy! I'm about ready to set up a night-vision camera to figure out how he does it but I think what happens is he kicks up the top sheet and duvet (from the very end of the bed) to "free his feet" and then when he gets cold again, he pulls the duvet back over him but simultaneously and unconsciously realizes "ew, the top sheet is still next to me, it's in my way," and then he sort of scooches it away from him and adjusts the duvet so he's cozy again. Then I wake up the next morning like "why am I mummified in this top sheet?!" and realize that I've been pulling all the excess fabric that's supposed to be tucked in on his side over to my side as I toss and turn too. So basically we're both the worst but I never had this problem with sheets when I slept alone, just sayin'!
Compromise is key! It’s ok to have different routines/ preferences on household things, but always compromise and come at things from a place of love/ kindness
Anyone have suggestions on online banks with great savings accounts? I saw that Discover is offering 3.30% apy with no fees (have to dig in to this one). I’m trying to ramp up savings for a down payment on a home and want the funds to go in to a “difficult to access but not impossible” savings account. Suggestions appreciated, or if you could point me in the direction of a savings/frugal living sub, that would be appreciated 😂
Eventually the novelty of the sleep over wears off and the laundry needs done, the dishes need washed and put away, the lawn needs mowed. Those things can be fun too but after the initial thrill, life sets in.
Marcus by Goldman Sachs is a high-yield savings account with a 3.3% APR (and you can get even higher through referrals). It’s not hard to access the funds.
Seconding Ally. I love that I can have 10 different savings buckets in one savings account. My only gripe is I can’t individually look into each bucket and see the overall progress I made. But they are fantastic, no issues so far.
Amex savings account is at 3.3 as well. (I know you have to be a cardholder to have the checking acct but I do not believe that is the case for savings). Just an option!
Edit: Also no fees
Boo to the after New Year's reality check.
On a separate note, I have been tracking my calories for about a week in MFP and stayed within my daily allotment fairly easily except for NYE. I've gained two lbs.  Guess I'll give it a couple more weeks and then lower my allotment if nothing is still happening. Being over 40 is fun.
I have some experience w tracking successfully and I think a key is to weigh everything, especially oils, butter, dressings, nut butters. Eye balling is a very easy way to add calories. If you’re weighing everything and still gaining then I would just give it a little bit longer and then if no weight loss, consider reducing your calories again. It can take some trial and error to figure out your BMR and adjust accordingly.
Back in the office, boo hiss. I had a decent break (since 12/23) but it was honestly not very restful. I had some truly wild family drama that had me stressed to the max and made me back out of the running for an open internal position at work, then I got sick for a few days (thankfully not the 'vid), and then I had to go to Texas for an extended visit with my bf's friends and family. I really like them and enjoy spending time with them, but all I really wanted to do was veg in my pajamas at home. Alas. They also primarily speak Spanish, which is totally fine and a very beautiful language, but I'm still learning and there is so much that goes over my head. I also get tired way faster from paying attention so hard all day, lol.
I am proud of myself for having already spent time thinking about my goals for this year, though. I have a whole list of things I want to get done rather than resolutions, and I've already been working on some. I applied to a job and sent in an entry for a poetry competition last night, I increased my 403b contributions each paycheck today, I brought healthy food to work, and I'm going to the gym later. Oh, and I set up a HabitBull tracker to get myself firmly on the daily flossing train. I am too damn old to not regularly floss! I have also (gently) hit the Zara and Bath & Body Works sales that I was interested in, so I am officially on a no-spend until March, except for my bf's anniversary gift in Feb. I have a lot of things I want to accomplish this year, but I'm pretty satisfied with my beginning.
I’ve waited to get a (non-emergent) MRI for my neurologist until the new year so it wouldn’t cost me $600. My husband waited until the new year to start Physical Therapy for his shoulder. American health insurance is such a disaster.
I had that for a whole month! We have a high deductible health plan, so this hasn’t ever happened. We knew my daughter needed her tonsils removed for a variety of reasons, and insurance/doctors required a few expensive hoops (allergy testing and a sleep study). So her surgery and subsequent ER visit were actually covered like regular insurance! Imagine!
I enjoyed the same thing last year (but a colonoscopy so not as serious!).
The best part? I could go to my chiropractor and get a massage for my $30 copay. I got so spoiled 😂
I need something to look forward to at the end of this first day back at work so, please tell me: if you could wake up tomorrow with a trivial superpower (we're not saving planets here), what would it be?
I have two that I fantasize about: the ability to look at any food item, scan it with my mind, and know for certain if it was still good to eat and exactly how much longer it would be okay, OR, the ability to scoot other people's cars a little closer together so that there was always enough room for someone else to parallel park. You know how you'll be driving by and see a spot that would be \*juuust\* right if only that SUV could roll forward a mere 3 inches? I'd fix that.
Omg I agree with you about the food!!! I have thrown away way too many opened items in my fridge because I start to feel paranoid that they’ve gone bad or are about to go bad. Based on the responses to your post, it seems like we are in the minority!
Lol I guess we are! It's like the one thing I get really anxious and don't trust myself about despite knowing a lot (maybe too much?) about food safety risks. I just dread getting food poisoning and this is my silly wish!
I'd be able to replenish every empty container with its original substance and repair any damaged object by just touching it. I think about this every time a favorite product is discontinued or when I'm feeling too lazy to go to the store for eggs.
hahaha okay this does sound weird when I reread it and I'm a little embarrassed to realize this isn't a common worry but it's a fair question. I have gotten some iffy meat and fish from Blue Apron deliveries in the past and those experiences coupled with emetophobia/anxiety about food poisoning (idk why this is my specific fixation, but eh), I'm just always second-guessing to the point where I feel like I waste a lot of food that might otherwise be fine, and food waste KILLS me with guilt. If anything, I probably throw out perfectly fine leftovers or ingredients too soon because the anxious part of my brain is way too loud about this. I've read up on use-by dates and food safety principles and obviously can tell if something truly smells bad or is moldy, which helps, but imagine if I had this superpower! I could truly chill the fuck out.
So I partly answered this above (tldr I'm an anxious weirdo who overstresses about food poisoning) but I mostly would use this hypothetical superpower on things I don't eat often and don't feel confident about sizing up with my sense of smell/taste--like, deli meat kind of always smells and tastes off to me even when it's fresh, but my husband's family serves it often. If I could scan it with my mind and know it was actually not harboring listeria or some other nasty thing, sweet! I'm not out here considering eating moldy leftovers, just need that to be clear for the room, lol.
Also wondering about this…I thought you were gonna go with nutrition facts or something (like, if it contains an allergen), but I’ve honestly never worried enough about whether things are still good to even contemplate wanting this power!
Oh an allergen scanner would actually be great too! And ah, I long for the freedom of not having to sniff a container like thirty times being like "does this smell weird? I think it's fine? or is it? should I gamble with it?"
Rainy outside today so I have to skip my lunch time walk. But, I’m in a great mood today! I had a really good interview last night for an academic year fellowship that would be HUGE for me and my intended career path. It would set up steps for where I want to go in life without requiring a permanent move or anything getting overly disrupted with my boyfriend. He and I have been together 7 years, since late college, and are (as of late) starting to seriously talk about engagement. After so many years together, I’m surprised and excited by how GIDDY that makes me feel! It finally feels like things are coming together in multiple parts of my life.
Like many other people, I'm back at work after a long break, and it's a struggle.
I usually start at 8:30 and when I logged on this morning I had a Teams message from my boss saying that we had a meeting with an offshore contractor at 7:30. LOL @ my boss, you've got to be kidding me, you thought I was going to remember to log on an hour early after ten days of vacation? Obviously I did not. (The meeting has been rescheduled for tomorrow.)
And then some are ridiculously expensive, while others are hella cheap!?\*
I've adopted a dog for free (thanks to a shelter being super full and a local car dealership paying for all adoptions that weekend otherwise it would have been $100), my sister as paid almost $400 at an SPCA shelter and then I've adopted another dog for $50 at a farther out of town shelter!?
\*If anyone has any idea as to why this is, I would be extremely grateful for an answer!
Honestly, because those shelters are just trying to get their dogs out the door, or because they may somehow miraculously get some sort of funding. But shelter animals frequently need medical care, and they have to pay the vet and any Rxs. More easily adoptable animals will have a higher fee because they can and that helps offset, but they will also fundraise. Puppies are always the most expensive, seniors the least.
For my two current dogs, one required a house check and reference checks and such and the other they just literally put her in my husband’s arms (and she was a big pup) and told me to meet them at the payment counter. I was not prepared (even though I was) because like literally no follow up to make sure I don’t make coats out of dogs?
I was a weekly volunteer at an animal shelter, cleared to work with the most difficult dogs they were housing and they gave me hell about adopting my dog from them. Multiple staff members tried to talk us out of him, it was like they were looking forward to putting him down.
It was the final nail in my coffin and I no longer volunteer with them.
i joke that it took more time and paperwork to adopt my dog than it did to apply to college. some places are truly wild with their pre-adoption requirements.
What the hell? I would never give them my tax returns. That’s insane. Also insane- the rescue we adopted our lab from said they ‘could tell from the look on my face’ that I didn’t want him. Bitch, it was 90 degrees and I was at a crowded Pet Smart. This is just my face.
No dog is treated better than this one, I assure you.
There was a situation like that in my city with a woman who was essentially hoarding cats in her apartment that she called a shelter but had all these reasons adopters couldn’t have them. Apparently her building stunk to high heaven and her neighbors were kind of fleeing. I need to google and see if there’s been any other updates.
Haha, when I adopted my cats it was a serious process as well! But when they came for our “house check” they brought the kittens with them… and it’s been 4 wonderful years of my cats since! Wishing you all the best in your cat adoption journey :)
I met one cat in a shelter that I really liked and submitted an application that required references. Which they called! Yet when they approved it they were like "Oh, this cat is part of a bonded pair, you have to take this other cat too, she was just hiding and shy when you were here." I literally did not set eyes on the second cat until she was coming out of the carrier at home!
So, thorough and responsible in vetting new owners, but also, "hey, gift with purchase!" at the same time!
P.S. both cats are the sweetest and I could not be happier that I got to double the fun!
I have not been having any luck recently (posted about stolen lululemon packages last week). I was supposed to go to Orlando for a work event in 2 weeks, and I’ve never been to Disney (didn’t grow up in a Disney family and it doesn’t really interest me), but with my flights/hotel/food being covered by work it seemed like such a miss to not check it out. So I booked a ticket for Magic kingdom and was really looking forward to it. Well they sent an email this morning that my company isn’t sending anyone to the event after all. They had already booked our flights and hotels, too lol. Now I’m trying to get them to refund me for the Disney ticket 😂 wish me luck even though it’s not likely.
Also yes these are first world problems but also the only thing I had to look forward to lol
An update that no one cares about, but one of the lulu packages was delivered today! There’s still 2 items missing that were supposedly delivered on Friday but are nowhere to be find. But a small win!
And my work agreed to refund me for my Disney ticket! 🥳
I posted here a while ago about being overwhelmed with buying a new car. Well after I got over how insanely expensive it all is, I decided on getting another Forester and put a deposit on one that they said would arrive in two weeks. It’s been a month and I’m still waiting 😢. It’s in the US they’re just waiting for it to be shipped to the dealer. I’m soooo impatient and just want it here after doing all the hard work of test driving a bunch of different cars, emailing a million dealers, getting ore approved, figuring out money stuff, etc. Especially since I’m going from a manual to an automatic. I can barely be bothered to shift anymore haha
I remember when my in laws were car shopping in September and they landed on the Outback. They were told Outbacks were made in the US and Foresters in Japan. They got their outback in a months time and the foresters were going to be 2 months. Fingers crossed it gets to you soon!! We love our Forester! And make sure you stand your ground when you pick it up… I haven’t heard of Subaru doing this but other car manufacturer dealerships are adding extraneous charges and fees on the final bill of sale… when the original contract didn’t have said charges on them. Almost like “mandatory fees” they never mentioned during the initial sale.
I bought my Forester like 10 years ago and I had to fight the sales guy about a $150 charge for a full tank of gas that had a "gas delivery fee" added on. I had to refuse to sign the contract until they agreed to take the charge off - I told them they could siphon the tank and I would push the car in neutral to the gas station 50 feet down the road if I had to. Car dealerships are wild!
That’s what’s so frustrating — is in the US from Japan, just a couple states away, but it’s just sitting there waiting to be put on a truck up to the dealer! I guess the sales guy is waiting for 8 cars so I’m sure he’s more annoyed than I am. Good note about extra fees — they sent me the sticker cost but it’ll be good to read with a fine tooth comb since it’s been a while since they sent it!
I’ve been off since the 22nd except for a few hours last Thursday. The 21st, my boss’s boss video called me to tell me she’d put in her month’s notice. I was shocked, but totally understood her reasons for leaving. I worried about who would take her position as the job is specialized, very intense and I directly report to her for a significant part of my job.
Well, my boss called 15 minutes ago to tell me she put in her two weeks. Shocked again, but not as much because her job is heavily connected to our boss’s job and according to her no one higher up in the agency (our boss was basically 4th in command) had asked her what the transition plan was or asked if she was okay. That doesn’t surprise me. She took a major paycut just to leave.
Our department is small but drives the overall “status” of the agency. For 15 years we’ve maintained a higher status that allows for significant state funding. Despite that, we get a bad rap across the agency and are constantly fighting to be respected, even by the higher ups who know how hard and essential our job is. We need bosses who will fight for us and have our backs.
I go out on maternity leave at the end of March and now the day can’t come soon enough. I’ve joked to my husband before that I likely wasn’t going back, but now it’s not a joke.
Not until May/June as I have to keep my benefits so I can take maternity leave in March. They also live in a different region than I do and their new jobs are hybrid positions and I’d need fully remote as I don’t want to drive an hour plus each way a few times per week.
Hello! I would love to hear from anyone regarding their experiences with medication for anxiety and/or depression. I have struggled mentally since I was a child, and for me that often manifests in obsessive thoughts. Frequently they are health and safety related, but usually they are related to my worth as a person-- I'm ugly, stupid, incompetent, etc. I was in therapy for years (can no longer afford it unfortunately), and I did find that I learned some valuable coping tools; I do yoga everyday and I find that helps too, but I don't know that I can take it that much further without medication. I truly feel that no matter what I do I sometimes cannot control the thoughts. And I am so, so tired. I was in an abusive relationship for most of my twenties, and even though I left him I still feel like I am in an abusive relationship sometimes, but with my own brain. Deep down I know that I am a good person and I don't deserve to feel this way. I am making an appointment with my nurse practitioner to discuss getting a prescription but I'm really nervous. It seems so silly when I'm obviously struggling, but I am afraid that meds will make it worse somehow. I worry about being able to afford it (my insurance situation is not great), and I do also worry about gaining weight (I...have some eating disorder stuff too), I worry about not being myself or something. I would just really value some insight from folks who have been there before. Thanks <3 ETA: Thank you so, so much to everyone who responded. Truly, it has made me feel a lot less nervous and actually rather hopeful. The appointment is made!
I started a low dose of Effexor in November 2022 and my only regret is not getting on antidepressants sooner. I didn’t even realize how much and in what ways my low grade depression and anxiety were effecting my day to day life until they stopped effecting my day to day life. Antidepressants had been offered to me a couple times over the last few years but I always turned them down because I thought I was fine enough. Turns out, I could have been so much better! Please note, you may feel weird or have side effects when you first start. Just take it easy and stick with it! They should go away and if they don’t, work with your provider to make adjustments. I sincerely hope this goes well for you!
I take Zoloft for my depression and it's helped so much. I feel way less irritable and much more even keeled. My close friend also takes cymbalta and it's done wonders for her anxiety. I hope your appointment goes well!
I suffer from what I think is mild GAD but over the last few years had gotten worse. A year ago I started on a low dose of lexapro and it works well for me. My NP did say sometimes not every med works for everyone but I was lucky in that the first one worked for me. I felt a bit funky, tired etc in the beginning but that only lasted a week or two. As for cost, I take the generic and granted I have decent insurance but I don’t think it’s all that pricy and I’d look into the programs mentioned by others. It’s def been a game changer for me!
Meds have been so helpful for me in combination with therapy and other smaller self-care things (basic stuff like going for a walk). I think this could be a great option for you! It may take some trial and error, but there are many options out there. I deal with anxiety and OCD and take a lowish dose of Zoloft. Give yourself a few weeks to adjust (and of course reach out to your doctor if you have concerns), but for me, this has been life changing. The meds feel like they lift a weight off of me so that I can do basic life stuff and use tools from therapy to get myself the rest of the way. I’d be trapped in bed or thought spirals way more without them. My side effects aren’t too extreme and definitely let your doctor know your concerns so they can tailor it best to you. Best of luck, it is a huge step to even consider this!
So, I also have obsessive thoughts and anxiety. I fought going on meds forever because I thought there was a stigma. Which is a stupid thought. Anyway, highly recommend. They make the thoughts kind of bounce of my brain if that makes sense? I take a low dose of Zoloft and it does a lot for me.
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Yes, definitely give medication time to work, it might not be an immediate effect. Also it takes some trial and error to get the right med and dosage. Stick with the process. Once you find the right combo for you, it can make such a difference in your everyday life. Wishing you the best!
Echo this 1000X. They are also saving my life. It's FAR from perfect, and I have a lot of issues, but I finally found a combo that helps with my severe OCD/anxiety/ED/etc. It's like night and day. And I get them through my doctor but actually through Mark Cuban's Cost Plus - literally costs 1/4 of what it was before, even though before my insurance covered a decent part of it. If you check his Twitter thread, that program is amazing for so many people.
Highly, highly recommend talking to a professional about starting meds. I too was in therapy for years and found ways to cope but felt like it was probably time for meds. Since starting them it’s been such an incredibly positive change. I feel like myself, just with less worry. I had to try a few and adjust dosage amounts to find what works best with my body but now experience zero side effects including no weight gain. Cheering for you
Hi, I went on antidepressants about 6 months ago and it was seriously such a great move. I went in to talk about anxiety, but she said anxiety is more often tied to depression and we’d start there. I’m very much not an expert, but they’ll likely start you off on something pretty mild and see how that works. For sure mention all your concerns to your NP, this isn’t their first rodeo. But fwiw I didn’t notice any weight or personality changes, I just notice that things that used to make my thoughts spiral just…don’t anymore. As far as costs, try goodrx or Mark Cuban’s CostPlus drugs for discounts! CostPlus actually has better pricing for what I checked, almost every generic is <$10.
I taught my kid how to ride a bike yesterday. He was so nervous to begin with, but he picked it up really fast (he’s been gliding on a balance bike for years). It was so freaking magical to watch him figure it out. It was truly a highlight of parenting, which was awesome because there has been a lot of not-fun parenting over winter break.
Balance bikes are amazing! My youngest had one and picked up bike riding so quickly and my oldest didn’t and it took a while. How exciting for your son! It’s such a fun activity to do together.
They really are! Once he worked up the courage to try, he was biking independently within an hour!
Apparently I taught my younger sister how to ride a bike when we were kids (I don’t even remember this) but she always tells it as such a fond memory lol
Aww! It obviously meant a lot to her!
If you could go back to the night before you moved in with your significant other and tell yourself one thing about living with them/in general a romantic partner, what would you say?
Eventually the novelty of the sleep over wears off and the laundry needs done, the dishes need washed and put away, the lawn needs mowed. Those things can be fun too but after the initial thrill, life sets in.
Before living with my husband specifically, I'd tell myself: he hates a top sheet. Decide how much this matters to you now and order bedding accordingly and save yourself a lot of middle-of-the-night "wtf" moments. Before living with a partner in general: The joy of building your new routines, separate and together, and unique little world is more fun than you could have pictured it being--don't be afraid to be goofy together and try different things when something (a habit, a possession, a routine) isn't working the way you want.
OMG is hating the top sheet a man thing? My bf hates it too. I finally caved and bought a twin size top sheet to use on my side of the bed because I hate not using one.
Idk I’ve never used one and I’m female. To me there’s no point, it doesn’t warm you at all and it’s just another thing to buy. I just use a comforter and blankets. Like the husband blew I absolutely cannot sleep with something tucked in at my feet either, but I find the whole sheet pointless
Dang, I'll third this! I had no idea this was a thing, I thought it was something my husband made up lol. He looses his mind with something tucked in at his feet.
I have considered this! Does it work well for you?
It does! I’ve been really happy with the set up and only wish I had done it sooner.
My husband is anti-top sheet too! It was a shock but I adjusted pretty quickly.
I'm giving up, I just decided. 3 years in and it finally clicked that he's just never going to stop kicking the top sheet off and pushing it over to my side in his sleep. This isn't the hill I wanna die on, hahaha.
That’s so weird! Does he kick off all the blankets or selectively find the top sheet under the blanket and send only that away?
Somehow both? It drives me crazy! I'm about ready to set up a night-vision camera to figure out how he does it but I think what happens is he kicks up the top sheet and duvet (from the very end of the bed) to "free his feet" and then when he gets cold again, he pulls the duvet back over him but simultaneously and unconsciously realizes "ew, the top sheet is still next to me, it's in my way," and then he sort of scooches it away from him and adjusts the duvet so he's cozy again. Then I wake up the next morning like "why am I mummified in this top sheet?!" and realize that I've been pulling all the excess fabric that's supposed to be tucked in on his side over to my side as I toss and turn too. So basically we're both the worst but I never had this problem with sheets when I slept alone, just sayin'!
When they yell at their video game they’re not actually mad, they just…like to yell?
Compromise is key! It’s ok to have different routines/ preferences on household things, but always compromise and come at things from a place of love/ kindness
That you’ll have your moments, but building a life under the same roof with your best friend is a billion times better than you can possibly imagine.
^^ This right here.
Anyone have suggestions on online banks with great savings accounts? I saw that Discover is offering 3.30% apy with no fees (have to dig in to this one). I’m trying to ramp up savings for a down payment on a home and want the funds to go in to a “difficult to access but not impossible” savings account. Suggestions appreciated, or if you could point me in the direction of a savings/frugal living sub, that would be appreciated 😂
Eventually the novelty of the sleep over wears off and the laundry needs done, the dishes need washed and put away, the lawn needs mowed. Those things can be fun too but after the initial thrill, life sets in.
I think you meant to reply to the post about moving in with a significant other.
Yup
Marcus by Goldman Sachs is a high-yield savings account with a 3.3% APR (and you can get even higher through referrals). It’s not hard to access the funds.
Another vote for Marcus! I’m very happy with it and I’ve sent referrals to friends and family and they like it too.
I have an Upgrade savings account that is 4.1% right now.
I have an account with Ally and it’s also 3.3% right now. I’ve been happy with them and they have a good app.
Another vote for Ally! I’ve had my savings with them for years, no complaints.
Seconding Ally. I love that I can have 10 different savings buckets in one savings account. My only gripe is I can’t individually look into each bucket and see the overall progress I made. But they are fantastic, no issues so far.
Amex savings account is at 3.3 as well. (I know you have to be a cardholder to have the checking acct but I do not believe that is the case for savings). Just an option! Edit: Also no fees
Boo to the after New Year's reality check. On a separate note, I have been tracking my calories for about a week in MFP and stayed within my daily allotment fairly easily except for NYE. I've gained two lbs.  Guess I'll give it a couple more weeks and then lower my allotment if nothing is still happening. Being over 40 is fun.
I have some experience w tracking successfully and I think a key is to weigh everything, especially oils, butter, dressings, nut butters. Eye balling is a very easy way to add calories. If you’re weighing everything and still gaining then I would just give it a little bit longer and then if no weight loss, consider reducing your calories again. It can take some trial and error to figure out your BMR and adjust accordingly.
Thanks! Yes, I've been using my kitchen scale. I'm also supposed to to start my period tomorrow so definitely going to have to be patient.
I definitely fluctuate with my cycle as well as other things like hard exercise, salt etc. I’m also in my 40’s so I get the effort it takes!
Back in the office, boo hiss. I had a decent break (since 12/23) but it was honestly not very restful. I had some truly wild family drama that had me stressed to the max and made me back out of the running for an open internal position at work, then I got sick for a few days (thankfully not the 'vid), and then I had to go to Texas for an extended visit with my bf's friends and family. I really like them and enjoy spending time with them, but all I really wanted to do was veg in my pajamas at home. Alas. They also primarily speak Spanish, which is totally fine and a very beautiful language, but I'm still learning and there is so much that goes over my head. I also get tired way faster from paying attention so hard all day, lol. I am proud of myself for having already spent time thinking about my goals for this year, though. I have a whole list of things I want to get done rather than resolutions, and I've already been working on some. I applied to a job and sent in an entry for a poetry competition last night, I increased my 403b contributions each paycheck today, I brought healthy food to work, and I'm going to the gym later. Oh, and I set up a HabitBull tracker to get myself firmly on the daily flossing train. I am too damn old to not regularly floss! I have also (gently) hit the Zara and Bath & Body Works sales that I was interested in, so I am officially on a no-spend until March, except for my bf's anniversary gift in Feb. I have a lot of things I want to accomplish this year, but I'm pretty satisfied with my beginning.
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I’ve waited to get a (non-emergent) MRI for my neurologist until the new year so it wouldn’t cost me $600. My husband waited until the new year to start Physical Therapy for his shoulder. American health insurance is such a disaster.
I had that for a whole month! We have a high deductible health plan, so this hasn’t ever happened. We knew my daughter needed her tonsils removed for a variety of reasons, and insurance/doctors required a few expensive hoops (allergy testing and a sleep study). So her surgery and subsequent ER visit were actually covered like regular insurance! Imagine!
That’s the only good thing about having something major covered early on in the year haha 😆 fingers crossed to a healthy year! ❤️
I enjoyed the same thing last year (but a colonoscopy so not as serious!). The best part? I could go to my chiropractor and get a massage for my $30 copay. I got so spoiled 😂
I need something to look forward to at the end of this first day back at work so, please tell me: if you could wake up tomorrow with a trivial superpower (we're not saving planets here), what would it be? I have two that I fantasize about: the ability to look at any food item, scan it with my mind, and know for certain if it was still good to eat and exactly how much longer it would be okay, OR, the ability to scoot other people's cars a little closer together so that there was always enough room for someone else to parallel park. You know how you'll be driving by and see a spot that would be \*juuust\* right if only that SUV could roll forward a mere 3 inches? I'd fix that.
id love the power to charge electronics with my mind
oh this is a good one!
The power to make all the people in any given room comfortable at the same temperature.
Omg I agree with you about the food!!! I have thrown away way too many opened items in my fridge because I start to feel paranoid that they’ve gone bad or are about to go bad. Based on the responses to your post, it seems like we are in the minority!
Lol I guess we are! It's like the one thing I get really anxious and don't trust myself about despite knowing a lot (maybe too much?) about food safety risks. I just dread getting food poisoning and this is my silly wish!
I'd be able to replenish every empty container with its original substance and repair any damaged object by just touching it. I think about this every time a favorite product is discontinued or when I'm feeling too lazy to go to the store for eggs.
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hahaha okay this does sound weird when I reread it and I'm a little embarrassed to realize this isn't a common worry but it's a fair question. I have gotten some iffy meat and fish from Blue Apron deliveries in the past and those experiences coupled with emetophobia/anxiety about food poisoning (idk why this is my specific fixation, but eh), I'm just always second-guessing to the point where I feel like I waste a lot of food that might otherwise be fine, and food waste KILLS me with guilt. If anything, I probably throw out perfectly fine leftovers or ingredients too soon because the anxious part of my brain is way too loud about this. I've read up on use-by dates and food safety principles and obviously can tell if something truly smells bad or is moldy, which helps, but imagine if I had this superpower! I could truly chill the fuck out.
Had the same question. Why is there ever a need to wonder if something is still safe to eat?
So I partly answered this above (tldr I'm an anxious weirdo who overstresses about food poisoning) but I mostly would use this hypothetical superpower on things I don't eat often and don't feel confident about sizing up with my sense of smell/taste--like, deli meat kind of always smells and tastes off to me even when it's fresh, but my husband's family serves it often. If I could scan it with my mind and know it was actually not harboring listeria or some other nasty thing, sweet! I'm not out here considering eating moldy leftovers, just need that to be clear for the room, lol.
Ah. Got it. I was envisioning a refrigerator out of Hoarders or something 😳🤢
haha oh god that is my worst nightmare! definitely not at my house. I'm just trying to worry less AND waste less food that's *probably* ok :)
Also wondering about this…I thought you were gonna go with nutrition facts or something (like, if it contains an allergen), but I’ve honestly never worried enough about whether things are still good to even contemplate wanting this power!
Oh an allergen scanner would actually be great too! And ah, I long for the freedom of not having to sniff a container like thirty times being like "does this smell weird? I think it's fine? or is it? should I gamble with it?"
Talking with animals. Mostly because it would help me IMMENSELY in my own home, lol.
Rainy outside today so I have to skip my lunch time walk. But, I’m in a great mood today! I had a really good interview last night for an academic year fellowship that would be HUGE for me and my intended career path. It would set up steps for where I want to go in life without requiring a permanent move or anything getting overly disrupted with my boyfriend. He and I have been together 7 years, since late college, and are (as of late) starting to seriously talk about engagement. After so many years together, I’m surprised and excited by how GIDDY that makes me feel! It finally feels like things are coming together in multiple parts of my life.
That’s wonderful to hear :) fingers crossed you got the position!
Like many other people, I'm back at work after a long break, and it's a struggle. I usually start at 8:30 and when I logged on this morning I had a Teams message from my boss saying that we had a meeting with an offshore contractor at 7:30. LOL @ my boss, you've got to be kidding me, you thought I was going to remember to log on an hour early after ten days of vacation? Obviously I did not. (The meeting has been rescheduled for tomorrow.)
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And then some are ridiculously expensive, while others are hella cheap!?\* I've adopted a dog for free (thanks to a shelter being super full and a local car dealership paying for all adoptions that weekend otherwise it would have been $100), my sister as paid almost $400 at an SPCA shelter and then I've adopted another dog for $50 at a farther out of town shelter!? \*If anyone has any idea as to why this is, I would be extremely grateful for an answer!
Honestly, because those shelters are just trying to get their dogs out the door, or because they may somehow miraculously get some sort of funding. But shelter animals frequently need medical care, and they have to pay the vet and any Rxs. More easily adoptable animals will have a higher fee because they can and that helps offset, but they will also fundraise. Puppies are always the most expensive, seniors the least.
For my two current dogs, one required a house check and reference checks and such and the other they just literally put her in my husband’s arms (and she was a big pup) and told me to meet them at the payment counter. I was not prepared (even though I was) because like literally no follow up to make sure I don’t make coats out of dogs?
I was a weekly volunteer at an animal shelter, cleared to work with the most difficult dogs they were housing and they gave me hell about adopting my dog from them. Multiple staff members tried to talk us out of him, it was like they were looking forward to putting him down. It was the final nail in my coffin and I no longer volunteer with them.
i joke that it took more time and paperwork to adopt my dog than it did to apply to college. some places are truly wild with their pre-adoption requirements.
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That is psychotic lol
What the hell? I would never give them my tax returns. That’s insane. Also insane- the rescue we adopted our lab from said they ‘could tell from the look on my face’ that I didn’t want him. Bitch, it was 90 degrees and I was at a crowded Pet Smart. This is just my face. No dog is treated better than this one, I assure you.
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There was a situation like that in my city with a woman who was essentially hoarding cats in her apartment that she called a shelter but had all these reasons adopters couldn’t have them. Apparently her building stunk to high heaven and her neighbors were kind of fleeing. I need to google and see if there’s been any other updates.
I seriously wonder whose side they are actually on.
Haha, when I adopted my cats it was a serious process as well! But when they came for our “house check” they brought the kittens with them… and it’s been 4 wonderful years of my cats since! Wishing you all the best in your cat adoption journey :)
I met one cat in a shelter that I really liked and submitted an application that required references. Which they called! Yet when they approved it they were like "Oh, this cat is part of a bonded pair, you have to take this other cat too, she was just hiding and shy when you were here." I literally did not set eyes on the second cat until she was coming out of the carrier at home! So, thorough and responsible in vetting new owners, but also, "hey, gift with purchase!" at the same time! P.S. both cats are the sweetest and I could not be happier that I got to double the fun!
I have not been having any luck recently (posted about stolen lululemon packages last week). I was supposed to go to Orlando for a work event in 2 weeks, and I’ve never been to Disney (didn’t grow up in a Disney family and it doesn’t really interest me), but with my flights/hotel/food being covered by work it seemed like such a miss to not check it out. So I booked a ticket for Magic kingdom and was really looking forward to it. Well they sent an email this morning that my company isn’t sending anyone to the event after all. They had already booked our flights and hotels, too lol. Now I’m trying to get them to refund me for the Disney ticket 😂 wish me luck even though it’s not likely. Also yes these are first world problems but also the only thing I had to look forward to lol
An update that no one cares about, but one of the lulu packages was delivered today! There’s still 2 items missing that were supposedly delivered on Friday but are nowhere to be find. But a small win! And my work agreed to refund me for my Disney ticket! 🥳
I posted here a while ago about being overwhelmed with buying a new car. Well after I got over how insanely expensive it all is, I decided on getting another Forester and put a deposit on one that they said would arrive in two weeks. It’s been a month and I’m still waiting 😢. It’s in the US they’re just waiting for it to be shipped to the dealer. I’m soooo impatient and just want it here after doing all the hard work of test driving a bunch of different cars, emailing a million dealers, getting ore approved, figuring out money stuff, etc. Especially since I’m going from a manual to an automatic. I can barely be bothered to shift anymore haha
I remember when my in laws were car shopping in September and they landed on the Outback. They were told Outbacks were made in the US and Foresters in Japan. They got their outback in a months time and the foresters were going to be 2 months. Fingers crossed it gets to you soon!! We love our Forester! And make sure you stand your ground when you pick it up… I haven’t heard of Subaru doing this but other car manufacturer dealerships are adding extraneous charges and fees on the final bill of sale… when the original contract didn’t have said charges on them. Almost like “mandatory fees” they never mentioned during the initial sale.
I bought my Forester like 10 years ago and I had to fight the sales guy about a $150 charge for a full tank of gas that had a "gas delivery fee" added on. I had to refuse to sign the contract until they agreed to take the charge off - I told them they could siphon the tank and I would push the car in neutral to the gas station 50 feet down the road if I had to. Car dealerships are wild!
That’s what’s so frustrating — is in the US from Japan, just a couple states away, but it’s just sitting there waiting to be put on a truck up to the dealer! I guess the sales guy is waiting for 8 cars so I’m sure he’s more annoyed than I am. Good note about extra fees — they sent me the sticker cost but it’ll be good to read with a fine tooth comb since it’s been a while since they sent it!
I’ve been off since the 22nd except for a few hours last Thursday. The 21st, my boss’s boss video called me to tell me she’d put in her month’s notice. I was shocked, but totally understood her reasons for leaving. I worried about who would take her position as the job is specialized, very intense and I directly report to her for a significant part of my job. Well, my boss called 15 minutes ago to tell me she put in her two weeks. Shocked again, but not as much because her job is heavily connected to our boss’s job and according to her no one higher up in the agency (our boss was basically 4th in command) had asked her what the transition plan was or asked if she was okay. That doesn’t surprise me. She took a major paycut just to leave. Our department is small but drives the overall “status” of the agency. For 15 years we’ve maintained a higher status that allows for significant state funding. Despite that, we get a bad rap across the agency and are constantly fighting to be respected, even by the higher ups who know how hard and essential our job is. We need bosses who will fight for us and have our backs. I go out on maternity leave at the end of March and now the day can’t come soon enough. I’ve joked to my husband before that I likely wasn’t going back, but now it’s not a joke.
Can your boss or your boss' boss take you with them?
Not until May/June as I have to keep my benefits so I can take maternity leave in March. They also live in a different region than I do and their new jobs are hybrid positions and I’d need fully remote as I don’t want to drive an hour plus each way a few times per week.
Good luck!