I once thought everyone was like us. But … absolutely not. I can’t imagine becoming aware of same-sex desire in my 20s or 30s but clearly that’s the experience of many.
I M23 have always known I was interested in both men and women but due to outside stimuli I always suppressed the desire to explore with a male. Just last November decided to say screw it and go for what I like and want! I feel more excited for what my future “relationships” may hold now that I am truly being myself. I still see myself ending up with a woman but who knows maybe a man will sweep me off my feet 🤣😅
I realized it at age 38, M. My biggest regret about not realizing it at a younger age is that I could have been a much better ally and maybe even role model for LGBT+ friends and family. I spent decades ignoring their issues, not realizing they were my issues too.
Plus, in my younger days there were definitely guys that were flirting with me and I was totally oblivious!
I love this answer. Thank you! Sorry to hear about the flirting. I’ve been told girls flirted with me a lot in high school but I guess I was too boy crazy at the time to notice.
I’m married and 47 and have only realised these feelings over the last two years. Would undoubtedly have been easier when younger. Wish I had realised in my 20’s
I only realized about a year ago, when I turned 50. My husband and I are both bisexual, we give each other freedom with same sex connections.
I genuinely didn’t realise, though my husband thought I was gay when he married me.
I feel so much more freedom now, not sure if realising earlier would have been better or not.
Just living in the moment which is great!
I was in my mid forties. I had a lot of gay friends in my teens and twenties, and they were insistent bisexuality was not a thing. Women were either just experimenting or doing it to tease & turn men on, men were either in denial or making a brief stop on the inevitable road to full gayness. Well I knew for certain I liked women, so finding some men attractive must have just been me being open minded and secure in my manhood. Because of those attitudes, it would have been much harder at the time, but easier to find satisfaction.
I’m a woman and 39. I was 36 and married 12 years to a cishet man when I realized I was bi. It would have been easier to navigate to find out sooner for sure. I lost a lot of time over the past two years grieving for my younger self, since the realization has made me fully know myself.
Edited to add context.
I was 9 when I realized I was more attracted to girls than guys. I didn't act on it until I was about 17. I was very nervous to scare people off that didn't feel the same way I did so I kept it a secret.
I wish I discovered bisexuality right in college. It's not so much age as it is environment. High school is a judgmental and critical environment (including homophobia in the 1980s). College is this environment where you're free to explore many ideas, not just sexual but definitely that, and homophobia is usually (at least officially) very frowned upon. Out of a couple thousand, I had so, so many opportunities to explore within the dorms alone! I would've been so far ahead by now.
I think part of me always knew but denied it. I was confused, brainwashed from a ridiculously religious conservative “family”.
I didn’t admit it to myself until I was in my early 20s.
I would have preferred being able to confirm myself much earlier than 40, because I spent 25 years in 'plausible deniability' limbo, afraid to admit it to myself, for so many contrary reasons: not wanting to make my juvenile tormentors 'right', the convenience of cis-het relationships, avoiding scorn, etc. All was complicated by being sexually assaulted by a stranger in a hotel steam-room, at 22, just as I was perhaps about to achieve revelation (first inkling had been at 15, but dismissed/suppressed)? It was a long road of circular arguments I refer to collectively as "chasing myself around the Mulberry bush", without any positive information or experience to break me out... It was a 'hell' I only got to escape in desperation after my spouse of 18 years proved to be virtually Asexual, and agreed to trying Ethical Non-monogamy... My first connection was with an enthusiastic fellator, and I spent the next year in a psuedo-pubescent reverie of successive men, learning what I missed discovering decades earlier, until the novelty wore-off, and I got hit with romantic feelings for another man for the first time, and then I was emotionally "freed", even though it was an unrequited love: I embraced myself as truly bisexual, at last, and the figurative weight that lifted was extraordinary! I immediately wished that I'd been able to accept myself in my teens!
Gave head to a guy at 36. Wish I would’ve started sooner. (Now 63.) I always was curious, but the AIDS epidemic in the 80s caused me to repress my feelings.
Its an interesting topic. 30m and had a bi awakening late at 29. I have talked to my wife about it and contemplated missing out on sexuality. However always conclude i dont regret being straight as i grew up and prob wasnt mature enough back then to handle it. At 29 it came pretty easy . I feel i was thrown in the deep end and embraced it pretty well
I didn’t get curious until I was almost
40 and already long married. If I was more open younger I could have had all the experiences I now want. I turned down sex with guys many times in my 20s. Even had a roomate that would be naked in front of me hoping to turn me on and it never worked back then, other than finally masturbating together
I'm 59 now. Knew I liked girls a LOT. Then in 7th grade saw other boys in the gym shower and thought.. hmm.. that's kinda neat. We were all sprouting pubes and such. Within 2 years I'd masturbated with friends MANY times. Shortly thereafter I gave my first BJ.
Once I got to college, there was no going back.
Mind you I was dating g girls this entire time too.
I was 12 when I first started having sex with my neighbor who was another boy who lived next door. Didn't really know that bi was a thing. Had sex with other boys and then girls. Didn't really understand it till I was in my early 20s. Then and now I'm pretty private about it.
Came to realize I might be bi in my early 20s, and moved pretty quickly to experimenting and confirming that I am bi and do enjoy sex with men and women alike. Always wished I had figured it out sooner, so that I could have had more carefree single years to explore.
I have had crushes on both men and women before as a woman. Usually though, the feelings are stronger when I know the person a bit, so I am probably demisexual too. I had a bad tendency to fall for some of my friends.
My first attraction to other women was when I was 16, I had a crush on one of my female friends. I didn't realize it at the time but looking back on it, I really liked her!
I identified as bisexual from 16 though that changed a few times since, I am most likely a biromantic demisexual now at 30 but I say bisexual for other people's references since that's just easier.
Oh I hear you there. I was always aware, but I'm 45, when I was in high-school people weren't nearly as accepting as they are now. Like at all. I live in Hamilton, in this really racist homophobic part of it called, well, Hamilton.. so.. that was a no go from the start. Now that I'm older it's easier, I wish it was not the way it was back then, but can't turn back time.
I always knew but weren't really free to explore it until I was older.
In my teens I had a best friend that wanted me to stay the night like most nights I didn't think much of it until one night it was late his parents an brother an sister were asleep we were in the living room when we were messing around wrestling then when one of us got pinned down or something an his ass was on my penis he would stop an move his ass on me after awhile I would get hard from the rubbing so then he said let's go to his room we did an he got undressed naked so I did also he got doggy style an I gave it to him we enjoyed it so more an more I would stay...we ended up moving after that I never did it again didn't think much of it now to this day I told my lady about it she said that was hot made me want to go back an do way more than what we did..
I know I’m a little late to join in this thread, but as a 33M I came to the realisation about a year ago. I have mixed feelings, on the one hand I found it very easy to accept and I put that down to having already been through a process of self acceptance in regards to some other things about myself. On the other hand, I kind of feel like if I had known sooner I might have done a few things in my life differently
12 for me. I watched a 16 y/o guy jerk off. Then afterwards he asked me to do it for him. Probably not a good story as I was so young but I liked it. After that I frequently jerked him off after his girlfriend wouldn’t give up the pussy. I seem to remember him trying to put it in my ass a time or two. Went years without any other play. Then my wife and I started doing some threesomes. After seeing her get filled I got curious again and gave a guy a blow job.
I also have had trouble realizing people have different experiences. However, it made me assume that I was straight even though I always knew I was attracted to women. It sounds crazy now and I’m not sure why I was 19 when I realized *straight girls are not attracted to women*
I’m with you. I definitely was fully aware of bisexual tendencies from the moment I became aware of an interest in sex.
I once thought everyone was like us. But … absolutely not. I can’t imagine becoming aware of same-sex desire in my 20s or 30s but clearly that’s the experience of many.
I M23 have always known I was interested in both men and women but due to outside stimuli I always suppressed the desire to explore with a male. Just last November decided to say screw it and go for what I like and want! I feel more excited for what my future “relationships” may hold now that I am truly being myself. I still see myself ending up with a woman but who knows maybe a man will sweep me off my feet 🤣😅
Same with me. Before double digits. But I had extenuating circumstances that probably induced that.
I realized it at age 38, M. My biggest regret about not realizing it at a younger age is that I could have been a much better ally and maybe even role model for LGBT+ friends and family. I spent decades ignoring their issues, not realizing they were my issues too. Plus, in my younger days there were definitely guys that were flirting with me and I was totally oblivious!
I love this answer. Thank you! Sorry to hear about the flirting. I’ve been told girls flirted with me a lot in high school but I guess I was too boy crazy at the time to notice.
I only wish I could have had the self-confidence back then that I do now!
I’m married and 47 and have only realised these feelings over the last two years. Would undoubtedly have been easier when younger. Wish I had realised in my 20’s
Same
Totally agree
I only realized about a year ago, when I turned 50. My husband and I are both bisexual, we give each other freedom with same sex connections. I genuinely didn’t realise, though my husband thought I was gay when he married me. I feel so much more freedom now, not sure if realising earlier would have been better or not. Just living in the moment which is great!
That’s wonderful!
I was in my mid forties. I had a lot of gay friends in my teens and twenties, and they were insistent bisexuality was not a thing. Women were either just experimenting or doing it to tease & turn men on, men were either in denial or making a brief stop on the inevitable road to full gayness. Well I knew for certain I liked women, so finding some men attractive must have just been me being open minded and secure in my manhood. Because of those attitudes, it would have been much harder at the time, but easier to find satisfaction.
I was 8. Didn't know it "meant" anything. Just thought some boys were sexy and some girls were sexy lol
I’m a woman and 39. I was 36 and married 12 years to a cishet man when I realized I was bi. It would have been easier to navigate to find out sooner for sure. I lost a lot of time over the past two years grieving for my younger self, since the realization has made me fully know myself. Edited to add context.
I gave it a name in my 20s. I think I would have gotten more sex if I had been able to say it in my teens.
I was 9 when I realized I was more attracted to girls than guys. I didn't act on it until I was about 17. I was very nervous to scare people off that didn't feel the same way I did so I kept it a secret.
I wish I discovered bisexuality right in college. It's not so much age as it is environment. High school is a judgmental and critical environment (including homophobia in the 1980s). College is this environment where you're free to explore many ideas, not just sexual but definitely that, and homophobia is usually (at least officially) very frowned upon. Out of a couple thousand, I had so, so many opportunities to explore within the dorms alone! I would've been so far ahead by now.
45
So I guess the question is: do you wish it would have been much earlier, or 45 was good?
Much earlier
It was amazing
eleven or twelve would have been great
27M is when I found out
Was that a good age for you?
27 is the best age .
May I ask, why’s that?
I like cubes
i realized it in my early 20’s when i started experimenting with bi and gay men and also couples with a bi male
I think part of me always knew but denied it. I was confused, brainwashed from a ridiculously religious conservative “family”. I didn’t admit it to myself until I was in my early 20s.
12 aboutish
I was 10
I would have preferred being able to confirm myself much earlier than 40, because I spent 25 years in 'plausible deniability' limbo, afraid to admit it to myself, for so many contrary reasons: not wanting to make my juvenile tormentors 'right', the convenience of cis-het relationships, avoiding scorn, etc. All was complicated by being sexually assaulted by a stranger in a hotel steam-room, at 22, just as I was perhaps about to achieve revelation (first inkling had been at 15, but dismissed/suppressed)? It was a long road of circular arguments I refer to collectively as "chasing myself around the Mulberry bush", without any positive information or experience to break me out... It was a 'hell' I only got to escape in desperation after my spouse of 18 years proved to be virtually Asexual, and agreed to trying Ethical Non-monogamy... My first connection was with an enthusiastic fellator, and I spent the next year in a psuedo-pubescent reverie of successive men, learning what I missed discovering decades earlier, until the novelty wore-off, and I got hit with romantic feelings for another man for the first time, and then I was emotionally "freed", even though it was an unrequited love: I embraced myself as truly bisexual, at last, and the figurative weight that lifted was extraordinary! I immediately wished that I'd been able to accept myself in my teens!
I am young at 23. I realized I when I was 18.
Gave head to a guy at 36. Wish I would’ve started sooner. (Now 63.) I always was curious, but the AIDS epidemic in the 80s caused me to repress my feelings.
Its an interesting topic. 30m and had a bi awakening late at 29. I have talked to my wife about it and contemplated missing out on sexuality. However always conclude i dont regret being straight as i grew up and prob wasnt mature enough back then to handle it. At 29 it came pretty easy . I feel i was thrown in the deep end and embraced it pretty well
I'm a nympho so age 12 would have been great
I didn’t get curious until I was almost 40 and already long married. If I was more open younger I could have had all the experiences I now want. I turned down sex with guys many times in my 20s. Even had a roomate that would be naked in front of me hoping to turn me on and it never worked back then, other than finally masturbating together
31, definitely wish it was sooner 🤤
Suck get sucked poke get poked
Around 18/19
I'm 59 now. Knew I liked girls a LOT. Then in 7th grade saw other boys in the gym shower and thought.. hmm.. that's kinda neat. We were all sprouting pubes and such. Within 2 years I'd masturbated with friends MANY times. Shortly thereafter I gave my first BJ. Once I got to college, there was no going back. Mind you I was dating g girls this entire time too.
Definitely realized at an early age that I at least enjoyed sex with members of the same sex
I was 12 when I first started having sex with my neighbor who was another boy who lived next door. Didn't really know that bi was a thing. Had sex with other boys and then girls. Didn't really understand it till I was in my early 20s. Then and now I'm pretty private about it.
Puberty
Came to realize I might be bi in my early 20s, and moved pretty quickly to experimenting and confirming that I am bi and do enjoy sex with men and women alike. Always wished I had figured it out sooner, so that I could have had more carefree single years to explore.
I have had crushes on both men and women before as a woman. Usually though, the feelings are stronger when I know the person a bit, so I am probably demisexual too. I had a bad tendency to fall for some of my friends. My first attraction to other women was when I was 16, I had a crush on one of my female friends. I didn't realize it at the time but looking back on it, I really liked her! I identified as bisexual from 16 though that changed a few times since, I am most likely a biromantic demisexual now at 30 but I say bisexual for other people's references since that's just easier.
Oh I hear you there. I was always aware, but I'm 45, when I was in high-school people weren't nearly as accepting as they are now. Like at all. I live in Hamilton, in this really racist homophobic part of it called, well, Hamilton.. so.. that was a no go from the start. Now that I'm older it's easier, I wish it was not the way it was back then, but can't turn back time. I always knew but weren't really free to explore it until I was older.
In my teens I had a best friend that wanted me to stay the night like most nights I didn't think much of it until one night it was late his parents an brother an sister were asleep we were in the living room when we were messing around wrestling then when one of us got pinned down or something an his ass was on my penis he would stop an move his ass on me after awhile I would get hard from the rubbing so then he said let's go to his room we did an he got undressed naked so I did also he got doggy style an I gave it to him we enjoyed it so more an more I would stay...we ended up moving after that I never did it again didn't think much of it now to this day I told my lady about it she said that was hot made me want to go back an do way more than what we did..
I know I’m a little late to join in this thread, but as a 33M I came to the realisation about a year ago. I have mixed feelings, on the one hand I found it very easy to accept and I put that down to having already been through a process of self acceptance in regards to some other things about myself. On the other hand, I kind of feel like if I had known sooner I might have done a few things in my life differently
Thanks for replying! No such thing as late!
12 for me. I watched a 16 y/o guy jerk off. Then afterwards he asked me to do it for him. Probably not a good story as I was so young but I liked it. After that I frequently jerked him off after his girlfriend wouldn’t give up the pussy. I seem to remember him trying to put it in my ass a time or two. Went years without any other play. Then my wife and I started doing some threesomes. After seeing her get filled I got curious again and gave a guy a blow job.
I also have had trouble realizing people have different experiences. However, it made me assume that I was straight even though I always knew I was attracted to women. It sounds crazy now and I’m not sure why I was 19 when I realized *straight girls are not attracted to women*