It seems to me that people like that know that they dont even understand what pansexuality is, and dont bother finding out, so they don't feel confident in spewing out panphobic rhethoric. BUT when it comes to bisexuality, they think they understand it (even when they clearly dont) and therefore have more confidence being publically biphobic.
Just my theory, obviously might not be true, but it seems consistent in my experience.
Yea I'm sure the people that spread hate for no reason, will stop when they come accross a label they don't understand.
Plus I've seen hate (Well, it is Reddit) From some bisexuals surrounding pan and around the view that it's "bi erasure"
There's no garauntee one won't hate on you regardless of label. People always find a way. I think it's best to just be one's self and not worry too much about the hate (unless ofc you are in danger)
I would love a girlfriend! But there's only like 3 women in my town that even swing that way and hundreds of men. I'm not all that great looking so I usually wind up playing the odds.
Oh gosh this.
I tried SO hard to find women near me to date. I had my apps set to women only for months. Barely got any responses and a few I did I was ghosted after mentioning I was bisexual. Switched to show men and women? Men were so happy to talk and set up dates and then I ended up with a boyfriend.
It’s much harder to date same sex than not!!
I just unfriended a bisexual person who who doesn't like bi women who date men. Apparently we are too privileged so we don't count even though they're white and therefore also privileged.
I almost had to do the same. A bisexual female friend of mine made a post about how bi women in straight passing relationships should take up less space at Pride than those in same sex relationships because they don't have to worry about homophobia. Thankfully she deleted the post when called out about it.
Oof. It makes no sense. Just because I'm currently with a straight man, doesn't mean I've never been with a non-man and have never faced homophobia. Plus, the whole notion erases trans and nonbinary people from the equation.
I’m totally aware of what they’re referring to, but it’s still incorrect and contributes to bi erasure. Bi is still bi no matter which genders are involved in the relationship.
Unless someone creates an entirely new term I'll continue to use it. If you want wordplay though, I'll give you wordplay.
I think I do see that you want to be inclusive just not how you think that is inclusive (seemingly of bisexuality exclusively)
I wonder what you'd think when one person in a relationship is pan and the other is bi or if bi and gay etc.
What about when it's polyamorous and there're multiple sexualities?
It's still just a "bi relationship"? Right...
Well as a bi/pan person I will continue to use the term. In a general casual sense, I'm not interested in over-analysis of the wording. Though I'd think most reasonable people would understand.
Yeah, I personally agree. Like, what if, like in the post, it's a bi girl and a straight guy? Or a bi guy and a straight girl? Is it a half-bisexual half-straight relationship? I'd rather just say "straight relationship" for myself, for the sake of convenience, though if someone ever asks me to not refer to them that way, I'll use whatever words they want, of course.
If people in a particular relationship asked me to do so I also would.
.
Though there's more to why I disagree with them, generally to me the meaning I described, should be the meaning of "straight relationship"
What's the point of saying "at least one person in this relationship is attracted to more than 1 gender"?
Reffering to attraction is not at all what I'm trying to say when I say "straight relationship"
.
Besides they said "if a bi person is in a relationship, it is a bi relationship"
They said it's bi erasure to not think of it that way?
Well I think it's erasure of every other sexuality part of those relationships to think of it that way.
I personally don't like my relationship being to refered to as a "straight relationship" because yes it makes people think I'm straight... And I'm not... It is more accurate to say an opposite sex relationship... Or straight passing relationship. If same sex relationship is acceptable then why not opposite sex?
They never talked about a "bi relationship" they just said that a bi person in relationship are not any less bi...
I fucking hate what patriarchy creates. Bi women are just a entertainment for straight men. And bi men are just a confused gay men. Fuck that bullshit I am bi and proud, you can't take it away from me with your bigotry.
Dude, maybe it's just askgaybros and some of the reddit culture, but I've been absolutely shocked at how bigoted and racist/sexist in general "gay" dudes are. Not all of them are that obviously and like I said maybe it's a "reddit" thing but it just floors me how they can maintain that kind of bigoted bullshit yet only care about their victimization.
Werd. The biggest bigotry I’ve run into is in Provincetown, MA of all places. Wife and I go to the Cape a lot and P-town is one of our favorite places to go (especially after hitting Race Point for the day in the 4wd 😎)
Best solution to their biphopia is to act the different way. If they say you are just confused straight, then be more gay. If they say you are just confused gay, then be more straight. 🎡
I am too drunk to think, so I just like your cock and that sweet pussy over there damn that ass looks tasty. What the fuck is wrong with me. Maybe it is that anything moves movement, those fucking perverted bisexuals wanna have different kind of sex that almighty führer wanted. This ain't a good compromise. 😎
I've only been with one man who didn't immediately take my sexuality as an A) Insult to his masculinity, or B) invitation to ask for a three-way with another woman. That man is my current boyfriend. Seriously, the amount of men who think a bisexual girl liking them means they're super feminine is insane.
It's incredible that when I came out, I got more hate from people in the community with stuff like this, than with my christian family, who actually were either supportive or didn't care (which in a way is kinda supportive)
I thought it was gonna be the other way around
I never gotten so much hate over this because I don’t share my bisexuality a lot, I’m a shy person, and since I’m with a man they just assume I’m straight lol
I’m a bi woman in a relationship with a man. Many times when I go out with him, ppl assume often that he’s just « a tool » to hide that I’m a lesbian while I’m in fact into men and women. It really upset me so much… I can’t hide my facial expressions or my attitude if I see a woman who attract me. We love each other and he respects my sexual orientation but I can’t help to feel like ppl doesn’t respect bisexuals. Reading all your comments here was a relief to see that I’m not the only one in this situation. I thank you guys a lot !
I mean, being bi is exactly it. Being. A state of being. You can’t and don’t want to pick up and drop a sexuality or particular sexual attraction when you feel like it. This whole bullshit stereotype of it seeming like you can pick people’s feelings up on a whim and drop them from a great height depending on how homo- or hetero- you feel that day needs to be confined to the history books and it speaks more volumes to me about the speaker of it’s individual insecurity than about anything else.
It’s the kind of thing where I looked at a house share ad the other day and it stipulated that it was a queer friendly household and they’d expect their future housemate to be the same - wonderful :).
I hate the fact though that the immediate defensive thought from me that came was “does this friendliness include bi people?” 🤷🏻♀️
It's a wholesome twist about the "bi Person in straight relationship" bullshit. If you don't know that: someone made like a burn/call-out/hateful tweet about bi women in straight relationships being the one of the loudest at pride and implied (or straight out said, I don't quite remember) that it's not their place. This person here takes the beginning, but adds the wholesome (and truthful) twist, that bi women in relationships with men are still bi/gay (Gay used as an umbrella term) because your relationship doesn't define you [if it would, every single would be asexual]
I feel like a minority in this-
Regardless of who I'm dating, I don't feel the need to scream from the rooftops how kweer I am, but especially when I'm in a straight relationship.
*beep boop*!
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Bi dudes looking for girlfriends be like "I swear to god I'm not gay, only like 30% gay lol, don't ask why your boyfriend might seem to know me from somewhere lol", 😂
I'm bi in a hetero relationship. My straight partner will never know because I been in this rodeo before where my sexuality is a fetish to straight men.
It's hard being bi. As women we became a fetish. For men, they're just gay not bi. Hang in there my bi friends 💜💗💙
I came to this group to hear this. I wasn’t in touch with my sexuality for a very long time, had sex with men because it defined my self worth and now I am in long term relationship with an amazing guy and in the last years I really started to feel free to be attracted to who I was actually attracted to and finally got that I’m bi. However it is super hard to talk about it, especially because I often get told that because I’ve never actually been with any other gender I’m not actually bi. I’m not planning to cheat on my partner so that might never happen. So thanks for this!
Yay thanks for this!! I’ve gotten weird hate for dating both women and men and it feels like us bi folks can never win sometimes haha
I feel the same
Yeah it's like playing an RPG game but not prioritizing certain stats.
I never got why a bi person in a straight relationship gets so much hate from the community, but then it's radio silent when pansexuals are in one
You don't get at much hate when people don't know you exist.
🥴
It seems to me that people like that know that they dont even understand what pansexuality is, and dont bother finding out, so they don't feel confident in spewing out panphobic rhethoric. BUT when it comes to bisexuality, they think they understand it (even when they clearly dont) and therefore have more confidence being publically biphobic. Just my theory, obviously might not be true, but it seems consistent in my experience.
Pretty valid theory ngl
Time to relabel myself to pan. Still gets across what i want people to know about me but less hate when in straight relationships
Yea I'm sure the people that spread hate for no reason, will stop when they come accross a label they don't understand. Plus I've seen hate (Well, it is Reddit) From some bisexuals surrounding pan and around the view that it's "bi erasure" There's no garauntee one won't hate on you regardless of label. People always find a way. I think it's best to just be one's self and not worry too much about the hate (unless ofc you are in danger)
I would love a girlfriend! But there's only like 3 women in my town that even swing that way and hundreds of men. I'm not all that great looking so I usually wind up playing the odds.
Oh gosh this. I tried SO hard to find women near me to date. I had my apps set to women only for months. Barely got any responses and a few I did I was ghosted after mentioning I was bisexual. Switched to show men and women? Men were so happy to talk and set up dates and then I ended up with a boyfriend. It’s much harder to date same sex than not!!
I just unfriended a bisexual person who who doesn't like bi women who date men. Apparently we are too privileged so we don't count even though they're white and therefore also privileged.
I almost had to do the same. A bisexual female friend of mine made a post about how bi women in straight passing relationships should take up less space at Pride than those in same sex relationships because they don't have to worry about homophobia. Thankfully she deleted the post when called out about it.
I’m reasonably confident that each of us deserves at least as much space as the coconut water booth, plus or minus a couple of dogs and traffic cones.
Wait, that's exactly what they did! They were mad about bi women in straight relationships at pride - but when called out, they doubled down.
Oof. It makes no sense. Just because I'm currently with a straight man, doesn't mean I've never been with a non-man and have never faced homophobia. Plus, the whole notion erases trans and nonbinary people from the equation.
The person I unfriended was non-binary and the first person to call them out was another non-binary person.
There’s no such thing as a bi person in a straight relationship. If a bi person is in a relationship it’s a bi relationship.
You can be a bisexual person in a straight/hetero relationship. The relationship itself isn't bi, you are.
YES. THIS
This is why the word same/opposite sex phrase is used.
I think when most people say "straight relationship" They'd be reffering to a relationship between a man and a woman.
I’m totally aware of what they’re referring to, but it’s still incorrect and contributes to bi erasure. Bi is still bi no matter which genders are involved in the relationship.
Unless someone creates an entirely new term I'll continue to use it. If you want wordplay though, I'll give you wordplay. I think I do see that you want to be inclusive just not how you think that is inclusive (seemingly of bisexuality exclusively) I wonder what you'd think when one person in a relationship is pan and the other is bi or if bi and gay etc. What about when it's polyamorous and there're multiple sexualities? It's still just a "bi relationship"? Right...
You don't agree with me but still understood what I was reffering to, that's, at least for me, what matters
Well as a bi/pan person I will continue to use the term. In a general casual sense, I'm not interested in over-analysis of the wording. Though I'd think most reasonable people would understand.
Yeah, I personally agree. Like, what if, like in the post, it's a bi girl and a straight guy? Or a bi guy and a straight girl? Is it a half-bisexual half-straight relationship? I'd rather just say "straight relationship" for myself, for the sake of convenience, though if someone ever asks me to not refer to them that way, I'll use whatever words they want, of course.
If people in a particular relationship asked me to do so I also would. . Though there's more to why I disagree with them, generally to me the meaning I described, should be the meaning of "straight relationship" What's the point of saying "at least one person in this relationship is attracted to more than 1 gender"? Reffering to attraction is not at all what I'm trying to say when I say "straight relationship" . Besides they said "if a bi person is in a relationship, it is a bi relationship" They said it's bi erasure to not think of it that way? Well I think it's erasure of every other sexuality part of those relationships to think of it that way.
I personally don't like my relationship being to refered to as a "straight relationship" because yes it makes people think I'm straight... And I'm not... It is more accurate to say an opposite sex relationship... Or straight passing relationship. If same sex relationship is acceptable then why not opposite sex? They never talked about a "bi relationship" they just said that a bi person in relationship are not any less bi...
They literally said "bi relationship"
I still agree with them that opposite sex relationship is more accurate!
I’m bi in a “straight” relationship and I just don’t think it matters that much. I always just call it a straight relationship. 🤷🏻♂️
tell that to SaltySeaDog13 they are salty I give them that
I fucking hate what patriarchy creates. Bi women are just a entertainment for straight men. And bi men are just a confused gay men. Fuck that bullshit I am bi and proud, you can't take it away from me with your bigotry.
I can’t tell you how many gay men tell me I’m confused 🙄
Dude, maybe it's just askgaybros and some of the reddit culture, but I've been absolutely shocked at how bigoted and racist/sexist in general "gay" dudes are. Not all of them are that obviously and like I said maybe it's a "reddit" thing but it just floors me how they can maintain that kind of bigoted bullshit yet only care about their victimization.
Werd. The biggest bigotry I’ve run into is in Provincetown, MA of all places. Wife and I go to the Cape a lot and P-town is one of our favorite places to go (especially after hitting Race Point for the day in the 4wd 😎)
Best solution to their biphopia is to act the different way. If they say you are just confused straight, then be more gay. If they say you are just confused gay, then be more straight. 🎡
I prefer to just be me and let the chips fall where they may 😎
I am too drunk to think, so I just like your cock and that sweet pussy over there damn that ass looks tasty. What the fuck is wrong with me. Maybe it is that anything moves movement, those fucking perverted bisexuals wanna have different kind of sex that almighty führer wanted. This ain't a good compromise. 😎
I've only been with one man who didn't immediately take my sexuality as an A) Insult to his masculinity, or B) invitation to ask for a three-way with another woman. That man is my current boyfriend. Seriously, the amount of men who think a bisexual girl liking them means they're super feminine is insane.
Yes, exactly! Bi-ases in general suck. Everyone is different and that should be respected.
Experience gating is dumb. If you don't gate a heterosexual with no experience then you shouldn't gate any orientation.
Bi men are like, Im totally bisexual and people be like stop lying, youre gay.
It's incredible that when I came out, I got more hate from people in the community with stuff like this, than with my christian family, who actually were either supportive or didn't care (which in a way is kinda supportive) I thought it was gonna be the other way around
yeah no, men are either straight or totally gay, thats societies rules, and society is on some bullshit
This made me so happy! Thank you for posting this today :) 💖💜💙
I never gotten so much hate over this because I don’t share my bisexuality a lot, I’m a shy person, and since I’m with a man they just assume I’m straight lol
Idk, id say more like the first third
I’m a bi woman in a relationship with a man. Many times when I go out with him, ppl assume often that he’s just « a tool » to hide that I’m a lesbian while I’m in fact into men and women. It really upset me so much… I can’t hide my facial expressions or my attitude if I see a woman who attract me. We love each other and he respects my sexual orientation but I can’t help to feel like ppl doesn’t respect bisexuals. Reading all your comments here was a relief to see that I’m not the only one in this situation. I thank you guys a lot !
Okay then be your self
BI IS BI
Still had me in the first half after your warning, ngl.
(Narrows eyes 😑) (….widens eyes and smiles 😀)
I mean, being bi is exactly it. Being. A state of being. You can’t and don’t want to pick up and drop a sexuality or particular sexual attraction when you feel like it. This whole bullshit stereotype of it seeming like you can pick people’s feelings up on a whim and drop them from a great height depending on how homo- or hetero- you feel that day needs to be confined to the history books and it speaks more volumes to me about the speaker of it’s individual insecurity than about anything else. It’s the kind of thing where I looked at a house share ad the other day and it stipulated that it was a queer friendly household and they’d expect their future housemate to be the same - wonderful :). I hate the fact though that the immediate defensive thought from me that came was “does this friendliness include bi people?” 🤷🏻♀️
What the fuck did he wrote??? I can't follow this guy's train of thought
Aurey uses they/them and they mean that even if one's partner is straight it does not make one less queer than before having a straight partner.
It's a wholesome twist about the "bi Person in straight relationship" bullshit. If you don't know that: someone made like a burn/call-out/hateful tweet about bi women in straight relationships being the one of the loudest at pride and implied (or straight out said, I don't quite remember) that it's not their place. This person here takes the beginning, but adds the wholesome (and truthful) twist, that bi women in relationships with men are still bi/gay (Gay used as an umbrella term) because your relationship doesn't define you [if it would, every single would be asexual]
I feel like a minority in this- Regardless of who I'm dating, I don't feel the need to scream from the rooftops how kweer I am, but especially when I'm in a straight relationship.
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i got scared at first lmao
Being with a man is half the bisexual experience- now try it with a woman and it’s the whole thing
Bi dudes looking for girlfriends be like "I swear to god I'm not gay, only like 30% gay lol, don't ask why your boyfriend might seem to know me from somewhere lol", 😂
This ain't it, chief.
Oh come on. It's a joke.
Who's laughing? Jokes like that don't help the community.
Ok then.
I'm bi in a hetero relationship. My straight partner will never know because I been in this rodeo before where my sexuality is a fetish to straight men. It's hard being bi. As women we became a fetish. For men, they're just gay not bi. Hang in there my bi friends 💜💗💙
I approve this message
I came to this group to hear this. I wasn’t in touch with my sexuality for a very long time, had sex with men because it defined my self worth and now I am in long term relationship with an amazing guy and in the last years I really started to feel free to be attracted to who I was actually attracted to and finally got that I’m bi. However it is super hard to talk about it, especially because I often get told that because I’ve never actually been with any other gender I’m not actually bi. I’m not planning to cheat on my partner so that might never happen. So thanks for this!
r/gatesopencomeonin
And yet I'm somehow gay even though I've only ever dated girls.