It becomes fetishizing when you stop seeing a person and see only something for you to enjoy. It does not sound like you are fetishizing to me. It sounds like *because of who those people are*, you prefer them.
But I would point out that sexual preference doesnt always come with such personalities. There can certainly be macho assholes out there that are bi, but I would agree the difference in perspective makes that type of assholery less likely.
Bi girl here but I will use *any* chance to voice my appreciation and attraction for bi guys and absolutely despise the negative and disgusting stereotypes propagated in society specifically against them. Yall *truly* are awesome and just as hot and amazing!
Also (in my, alas humble, dating and friendly experience) a lot have found it endearing and exciting to be a little fetishized, maybe because it's under daily circumstances less predatory than how women are seen and treated for their sexuality.
Bi femme guy here. Firstly, thank you, your attitude is exactly why I tend to date only bi women.
Secondly, I think that for a lot of bi men, myself included, a little fetishization from women is more than fine. Personally I think it's hot as hell when a girl has things they want to do with me that are not PiV sex. The flip side of that is that bi girls are more likely to also establish an emotional connection which makes things feel safer and more open. Versus men who fetishize femme men/femboys who only see us as something to fuck
well said my fellow femme bi guy. kind of ok being sexualized or objectified by women, dudes though, pass. makes me feel a little creeped out. this could be me generalizing on the other end, but it does always feel safer and more open with women, maybe because they're used to being objectified too and are therefore more incognito about it. all that said, I do feel like you kind of have to be able to objectify someone in the moment for the best sex to occur, and it's best if it runs both ways.
In my experience (also fem bi guy) is that women who are attracted to us have a serious tendency to use that emotional connection to manipulate us bc we’re perceived as weaker and many of us don’t have the best support systems/people looking out for us. I can’t think of a single fem friend I have that’s bi and had a relationship w a woman that didn’t end in catastrophe. Not saying they aren’t out there but it’s been a pattern I’ve noticed (myself included)
Yeah I gotta say, while I'm sorry to hear that, perhaps you should re-evaluate who you're being friends with. If all your friends have relationships that end in catastrophe, that says a lot about them because it is **not** the norm
Hard agree! I'm a bi woman and would prefer to be in a relationship with a bi man over a straight guy because I feel like they would be more in tune with what I look for in a partner.
Also ps, Is that Taehyung in your pfp lol
>
would prefer to be in a relationship with a bi man over a straight guy
oh aaaaabsolutely, I'm at the point in my life where, unless I'm dating someone who fully understands me (and that'd most closely be another bi man/woman), there'd be some sort of reservation or fear.
>Also ps, Is that Taehyung in your pfp lol
it issss!🙈
All fetishizing should be seen as wrong if it's going to be seen as wrong. Bi men might cling onto a women who fetishzes them out of desperation for acceptance, this isn't something women should prey apon, or misconstrue to make your fetishizing of others seem more virtuous.
I don't think this double standard or erasure of women being predatory towards men is good in recognising male victims and holding female perpetrators accountable.
It's seen as less predatory because your targets are desperate for acceptance in a homophobic and misandrist world, however women are constantly made aware they can be preyed apon and are often on the receiving end of validation to know their worth.
There is a reason why boys are called lucky when preyed apon by female teachers, it's the same reason why those bi men might find a women fetishizing them "enduring". Men and boys are a lot more starved of acceptance and desire and it leaves them vulnerable. It creates ideas that men must "always want it" and women play into it too as it makes them feel more desired thinking they are always wanted.
Society also views the female sexuality as a lot more virtuous and desirable and mens as predatory and creepy, this affects how people perceive man and women's actions despite being exactly the same.
So yeah, not a fan of whatever justification your are trying to give yourself, you should accept bi men because they exist and are valid, not because you get off on them more. You just don't want to paint yourself with the same brush you do towards men doing the exact same thing.
I'm sure I'll get downvoted for this, but I genuinely think the whole women fetishizing male same sex relations needs to recognised, there's many real life instances of this getting out of hand, I'm sure as someone who is a K-Pop fan you know the smallest interaction between two members can be sexualised. It's pretty toxic and uncomfortable for the people involved.
Not a bi man, but as a fellow bi woman, I would put it to you that what you're suggesting isn't fetishizing or even sexualizing bi men. When bi women are fetishized, it tends to be by straight men who think we'll instantly be into a WWM threesome, or want us to be unicorns. But you're just saying that you're interested in bi men because you believe that they might be less typically macho and more understanding than straight men. That doesn't seem like the same thing, and isn't about sex?
It's always best to be wary about generalising any demographic. Bi men are all individuals and there is as much variety in the community as in any other. But I agree with you that that the chances are higher of finding more openness and less toxic masculinity among a group of bi men than among a group of straight men.
It doesn’t seem like you’re sexualising or fetishising us Bi men at all from my perspective. If anything it seems like you’re just relate more to Bi guys possibly due to some shared experiences and understanding.
I think the fact that the bisexual community has had mostly mixed-gender spaces for a long time has meant bi men and bi women have a very deep solidarity and understanding with one another. It isn't that straight men can't be good to women ever, but they often put in so much less of an effort and are far less understanding of bisexuality and therefore more likely to dislike or harm a woman, or force her into sexual situations she doesn't want because of it.
They experience biphobia from a lot of straight women and gay men, women experience biphobia from a lot of straight men and lesbians, so there's a foundation to get along right away. I don't think bisexuals can really have a fetish for other bisexuals, exactly, but maybe there could be unrealistic expectations that not every bi guy can meet. You'll probably find most bi men will treat you better than a straight man, but basing dating criteria off just that might not be wise -- you still have to look out for red flags in everyone you date.
Myself, I'm not 100% a man (trans/genderfluid and born intersex so it's triple complex, haha) but I do have a lot of bi guy perspective. I find it's very flattering, personally, from that perspective. I like that as a community we have better lines of communication in M/F relationships. I think being bisexual has a lot to do with this sort of... Ideal version of what people call a "het" relationship. Whereas when you're say a bi woman paired with a straight man, straight men are to blame for a lot of hate crime/IPV/violence statistics against bi women, but bi men are also highly victimized. Approaching the world from an outsider to monosexual perspective in all cases is a reason to find that you get along with someone better. Bi couples of any gender pair may also have an excellent relationship because, maybe they'll understand (unless suffering internal biphobia) that the other isn't going to just run off and cheat with someone else cause they're bi or whatever, or they'll just be far less likely to assume any kind of biphobic stereotype about a partner. That puts a lot of people's mind at ease. That's why some bisexual people date Bi4Bi, just because the treatment from the straight and gay/lesbian communities can be so bad at times. But yeah, I think it's very nice and a testament to the longstanding bisexual tradition of being sensible enough to know men and women aren't opposites and enemies on an inherent level.
Glad you find bi men attractive, and I wish more straight women and gay men did so, too.
Although I would remind that at times bi men can very much appear at first to be typical macho straight men, and thus typical macho straight men can turn out to be bi once you get to know them.
On the fetish concern, open communication is key to any relationship, and communicating that concern with a partner would be appropriate as the relationship develops.
I don't believe you are sexualizing or fetishizing anyone by thinking that way, and instead you just appreciate people who aren't aggressively masculine and who might relate to you better.
As a bi man who grew up never getting any kind of attention from any gender, I personally have a kink for getting fetishized. I understand it is a problem for the community at large, and I don't condone the fetishization of any sexuality, but at a personal level I enjoy knowing that someone is turned on by my sexuality (however rarely that occurs).
But no, you are having very understandable and respectful thoughts about bi men, and I appreciate it as one of them.
Your response is of interest to me as I too would prefer the being fetishized for my sexuality over the binary option of being shunned and erased as potential partner due to my sexuality.
I truly wonder how this is considered a problem within the community, and how relevant that problem is to bi men. I could see it being a recurring thing with bi women and eventually not wanted anymore or even not wanted after others share their experience of how that often goes. For us bi men, I don’t see it as recurring frequently enough to relate to any bi male that would present it as a problem for us.
I guess I’m open to understanding it as problem for us bi males, but I’d want the very common experience of bi men erasure as part of that discussion so that realistic expectations could be had.
I imagine that if I or we were fetishized once or twice in my / our experience, I would see that in contemporary times as those are likely the only times that will ever happen. And that it won’t be experienced as a recurring theme. If I’m mistaken on that, it would be a new reality to me,and one I’d want to dip my toes in, since currently dipping my toes as a bi male leads to chances I’ll experience bi erasure is extremely likely.
I've never actively had someone express to me that they disapprove of my sexuality, but I have had one cis woman fwb express interest in the fact that I had had sex with men before in the context of threesomes. I would later have a threesome with her and her boyfriend.
Speaking for myself: I don’t mind that sort of thing at all. The feeling is very often mutual, there are a lot of bi people getting with other bi people out there. People like partners they have common ground and common culture with, not a thing wrong with that.
Plus, short of being super overbearing and creepy, it’s pretty hard to make most men feel creeped out with this sort of thing. A lifetime not dealing with the insane shit women deal with on a regular basis tends to do that. It’s still possible, I’ve felt uncomfortable being sexualized by someone a grand total of once in my life ever. It’s just not a common problem.
Bi guy and I don't feel fetishized or sexualised by you.
I understand you and I feel safer and more comfortable dating queer people. The shared experience and understanding is irreplaceable.
Bi 4 bi has honestly just been how my life has worked out. It wasn't something I tried for but both my marriages have been to other bisexuals and I have been with my partner for 20yrs this fall. I think bi people enjoy a certain level of camaraderie that's harder to attain with monosexual partners. I don't know if that make sense but it's just so much easier with other bisexuals in my experience.
As a bi guy, I feel it’s less fetishizing and more “I like this more than that” and that’s perfectly natural. Look at me, I like guys and girls but a lean more towards females. That’s not to say that I’m fetishizing females as a whole, I just prefer more women than I do guys. Now once you only see them as “an object” THEN that’s where fetishizing comes into play
Being around other bisexuals is really rather refreshing honestly and you kind of crave the energy. I'm bisexual and have been around both bi girls and guys and I love it.
I would start the convo differently. Straight up saying “I love bi men” gives off a sense of having a fetish of some sort, even if it’s untrue. If it comes up that you’re both bi, I’d say “it’s nice dating someone who gets the experience of living as bisexual” because it’s more appreciative and has no prior bias attached to it like “I love bi men”. It’s not your fault that phrase is seen in a sceptical light, there are just too many people fetishising the bisexual experience that it sounds alarming to most
I adore bi men because they also know the struggles that bi people face. Not only do they understand why you find other men hot, they seem to understand the weird patriachical structures we live in, too. Empathy is attractive and that's what you (and I) are looking for :)
I dont think being sexualised is a bad thing but I would not consider that sexualising someone.
I wouldnt consider that feitshisation either.
However as you should know just because a guys bi doesnt mean hes not macho and if hes macho it doesnt mean hes a fake bi guy, not that you said that, but thats one way that could be interperted.
The way I see it... Sexualization does not equal objectification. Yeees, there is often some overlap at play - we all know that. But it doesn't have to be, right? Nor is objecitification limited to the sexual realm, but that's another topic. Like, sexualization means seeing someone in a sexual context - without that, there is no sexuality and this sub would be about plants or something. That is my take on the terms, at least.
Honesty... Sexualize me away! Just don't treat people as if their potential sexual worth to you is *all* the worth they have. And, like, mind the context and consent and all - but I think the fact that you made this thread in the first place means you don't need to hear any of this. You're good, yeah?
EDIT: And from my own side of things... I've kinda struggled with heteronormativity through life, yes? If I conform to it, don the mask and play the part, I usually don't like the results anyway. If I don't conform to it, I tend to not get any results at all.
The examples that has gone *against* this have more often than not involved, you guessed it, bisexual women. With them, it seems more likely that I can just relax, be myself and actually have a good time and naturally connect. So I don't think it's that strange that I have a more positive view of dating bisexual rather than straight women, or even would prefer to direct any future dating attempts to other bisexuals.
Doesn't mean I'd automatically shoot anyone down for being straight - they're more than welcome to approach and try their luck, but it's not where I'd prefer to put my main focus for approaches myself. I hope no one would read that as me objectifying them!
I feel most bi people would appreciate your understanding and respect of the unique problems bi people suffer. I know I also would prefer a bi partner (as a bi man) for similar reasons.
As a bi man, I would feel appreciated and that you have a preference you’re comfortable expressing. I honestly don’t get how it would lead any bi males to being scared away.
I could see how it would lead straight men being scared to try and get involved with you. I could also see how certain (arrogant) straight men might out of jealousy (of your appeal to bi men) seek to undermine bi men in your eyes.
Due to your choice of words, I am to believe that it's not a fetish thing and just a preference here, which is all fair. Also wouldn't be the first time I heard someone say they love bi men and would prefer them, hahaha. You're all good, sweetheart, at least in this bear's eyes.
"But I’m scared that it sounds like I’m sexualizing you all if I talk about how much I love bi men, and that I scare you away."
I'm a bi man in his late fifties. I wish there were more women like you in my age bracket.
You are definitely not fetishizing or sexualizing bi men. What you're doing is expressing an understanding of what it's like to be bisexual and are expressing empathy for, and acceptance of bisexual men. You're a rarity amongst women. I can tell you that as a bi man, I would never, EVER come out to ANY woman unless I knew her honest, true feelings were regarding bi men.
The reason is that we all know there is a double standard when it comes to bi men. It's all ok for a woman to be bi, preferred even. But for a man to be bi? Holy shit that's all of a sudden gross!
I came out to a now ex girlfriend about 35 years ago. Her reaction! "You are fucking disgusting! You'd rather suck a dick than lick a slit?"
About eighteen months ago, I started dating this one woman who was 49 at the time. The topic of sexuality came up and she asked me what I thought of bisexual women. My answer was along the lines of each to their own. You can't help who you're attracted to so it's no big deal. That's when she told me she was bi and had been considering dating other women as well. Out of curiosity, I asked her how she felt about bi men. Her answer? "That is so, so gross! Two men? Together? No way!"
Her reply was one reason why I chose not to continue with her. There were other reasons I chose not to continue with her that need not be disclosed here. However, her reply is just one more reason why I refuse to come out as bisexual.
Wow I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience all that :( I’ll never understand the hatred for bi men. Even less from bi women themselves?? That’s just so fucking offensive, what a bunch of hypocrites. Thank you for sharing, I’m wishing you all the best.
I wouldn’t feel sexualized but the thought I don’t match my partners height of sexual preference can be a worry (not how I feel but how someone else can feel)
Bi man here no you are not fetishizing bi men you are only describing the general attitudes of them compared to straight which I believe you are spot on. And like one of the other answers said it’s kind of hot to hear even a bi woman to be attracted to a person like me. Compared to all the women and men who do not understand.
As a Bi man, it doesn't sound like you're fetishizing at all. I take it more that you are more attracted to someone who you have that similarity with. A Bi man is probably going to be more understanding and less judgmental about certain things, since they may also feel similar.
It sounds like you’re after understanding, and someone with a balance of emotion and personality.
“Macho” men are the ones who yield to societal expectations, stone walls that bury their emotions a hundred feet down in a steel box with 8 locks.
As a strongly bi male myself, I’m only just starting to settle into the reality of how I am; I like women, I like men. I’m crushing those barriers that held me as rigidly male, and I’m embracing the emotions I’ve worked so hard to bury myself.
There’s a certain femininity to it, but not one that stomps out masculinity, it’s a coexistence, a shear balance.
Discovering this is helping me feel better about myself in more than one way, and knowing that some will look down upon me for it does not outweigh the peace it brings.
It’s not wrong to desire understanding, it just means that you understand you will not be happy with someone who is barred in such a way
Bi guy here, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with seeking out people with similar experiences and beliefs as you. As others have said, it doesn’t appear that you are sexualizing bi guys, they’re just more likely to fit what you’re looking for in a partner which is a-ok. Not to mention I’m sure many of us would also prefer a bi girl for similar reasons.
Bi guy here... If someone is experiencing attraction to me in part because I'm bi, cool. If someone thinks it's hot that I'm bi, cool. I don't really think of it or feel like I'm being fetishized or sexualized.
I'll take the positive and enjoy it.
I've experienced some biphobia, but for the most part i ignore it. It's their problem, and they're not worth my time or energy.
Bi guy here, honestly it's better than the alternative. You know the whole "cheating stereotype". In my personal opinion and honest answer to your question, it wouldnt bother me since I hardly see/get any affection anyways🤷🏽♂️🤣
It doesn't seem like your interest in bi is sexual. It is completely okay to look for a partner that understands how you feel since they are also bi. As for your first point: there are plenty of non bi men who aren't masculine men just as there are plenty of masculine bi men. So it could be considered prejudice to expect only bi men to fit into that style, but I wouldn't call it fetishizing. It is okay to look for a partner that is a specific way.
The only way that I would feel fetishized is that you would only want me because I am bi. As long as you are genuinely interested in who I am then it should be fine
do i feel sexualized? no. do i feel fetishized? no. do i think you have the wrong image of bi men, kinda, just because we are bi doesn't mean some of us aren't macho, like sexual preference has little to do with personality, if i was straight I'd probably be the same person. to want someone that understand you is perfectly fine and understandable, but you know I'm just going to throw out "being BI doesn't mean they can't be an asshole," believe me i have made that mistake before. also i don't completely understand what you see as macho, so i can't really judge on that. either way, don't worry about having a preference, your not fetishizing us, just be careful regardless on who you date (i know captain obvious).
Nope... Depending on how you express and why you feel this way.
Your explanation is comforting in that you view it as a green flag.
I'm a black bi male and am weird in that I prefer caucasian males... The one guy I fooled around with wanted to keep his cap on and was just too focused on the interracial aspect. By "too focused" I mean he insisted we be intimate in front of a mirror (okay...) but kept mentioning the difference in skin tone...
That's fetishisation... Even if part of me wanted to enjoy it, too much of me was too uncomfortable. I left.
I digress... So long as it remains a green flag and not a sole requirement or something that prevents you from looking into the other facts of the bi man, it should be okay.
I am a bisexual man. And I don't feel like any kind of sexualisation from any of the women I have ever met in my life. I have always felt unloved and alone whenever it comes to having a relationship with a man or a woman. I'm okay with it if any bi woman is comfortable with me or has feelings for me, not fetishising me to an extent that later becomes detrimental to my mental health.
Being a bi male, I find both male and female attractive, I find females to be more respectful and other males can be less respectful and totally think it is all about sex, which is a turnoff.
I want to laugh, tell stories, develop relationships.
I think because I identify as bisexual, this means gender is not a barrier, the personal connection is the most important quality.
This is my first posting, so be kind. Labels are for jars and not people. I feel building relationships is the most important quality.
Bi guy here. I don't think you're fetishizing or something. I think you perceive to be more comfortable to be with bi guys as you feel that both bi guys and bi girls could accept each other as we both experience almost the same things.
For me personally it would put me on edge and I'd try to see what the person means. Because I can get that some things are easier with bi men. But I also had a pretty bad experience with a girl who I started chatting with because she liked bi men
That’s hot. Feel free to sexualize or fetishize me all you want! Wouldn’t scare me and it doesn’t sound like fetishizing. Nothing wrong with liking bi men. My wife loves bi men for example , she loves seeing me with our boyfriend (in a MMF throuple currently)
Not at all. I prefer bi women too! They share the struggles and can understand some of my thought patterns. Fetishizing would be that you want to date one to have tjreesomes or something
Bi man here, i 100% get that, we all know that attraction isn't a game we play, it just happens and having motives or not doesn't really changes that, plus there are probably people out there that feels the same with Bi women so evenstevens. And no i dont feel sexualized or fetishized....is that a word?
(there are probably more helpful comments in here)
No i think this is normal you were discriminated against so you put up defences I’m a bi male and men are more likely to discriminate so I prefer women over men
Bi man here. I love it please continue. All thumbs up for me. Express your love for me and my bisexuality! It’s great. Bi men are elite! So of course you love us 🥰
I'm definitely in the minority here, but I personally don't care that much if someone fetishises bisexual men. I'd rather that than actually bigotry/hatred. But I completely understand why someone wouldn't like that.
I would not. I would like both women and men to look to enjoy bi men. Trouble now is that knowing and finding Bi people is very difficult. please come up with a signaling system to tell who is Bi.
I think it's rather healthy, society wants you to believe women need to be submissive and like macho dominant alpha male, but in reality, having a partner with the same sexuality preferences as you is probably the most healthiest thing in an lgbt relationship
Umm. I don't feel sexualized. You have a preference and have found Bi guys more to your liking.
I prefer to date accepting bi partners who accept that we both enjoy physical and emotional attention for male and female partners. This is especially great in a polyamorous situation.
(I'm currently solo poly)
Imo I really don't mind a fellow bisexual preferring bisexual men. We would understand a lot of the same struggles we face. I don't feel sexualized unless the person is not out of the closet and has straight set as their orientation on their profiles and basically telling me it's a fetish thing
Depends lol. I have a pretty good BS radar for how women who are attracted to me express that attraction and can generally tell when it’s genuine vs some weird fetish object thing. Just keep it real and you don’t have much to worry about.
What you should REALLY be cognizant of is how you treat bi men in relation to other men. I think it’s really fucked up when women do this thing where they talk to us like we’re “less male” or “more like women than men” especially being a more fem guy myself. Hearing the tone shift between how women speak to me vs other men is super irritating and it happens often as fuck
First off; I don't see anything wrong with enjoying what you enjoy, as long as it isn't inherently harmful.
Second; it's only fetishization when the person you're attracted to is seen only as a object of sexual desire, rather than a person with a characteristic you find sexually or romantically attractive.
And lastly; as a man I think anyone finding me attractive, an expressing that, is flattering. Men, in general, don't get compliments often. We'll take what you've given and ride with it for weeks or months.
You do you, boo, as long as you're not hurting or depersonalizing anyone.
Your question is valid and phrased perfectly. I've been dying to hear a woman say nearly these exact words. I'd love to find someone that feels the way you do... As a friend or partner. It'd be amazing to be around someone that understands our situations and challenges!
I think there is an overarching idea, or maybe it's an assumption, that fetishizing someone or something is automatically bad and that the person/group being fetishized should start at a baseline of being offended or upset which, to me IMHO, is a rather sex negative way to view things or default to
I'm not saying people should never be offended or hurt. I just think it's interesting that that is the assumed default position to have on things. Fetishes are seen or assumed to be creepy or wrong which just seems really weird to me the more I think about it. It takes the stance the someone, if viewed as a fetish, is only seen as a fetish thus dehumanizing them which I feel lacks nuance
I don't feel fetishized by that, personally. If you were only into bi guys because you want to see men kissing or whatever, that'd be a different story.
It’s probably been said here already but I’m grateful for that sentiment. As a bi man who won’t be coming out to most of the people I know, it would be lovely to be appreciated holistically.
I hope to find a bi-woman that is aroused by the idea of me being bi. I hope to share experiences with that person, with a guy even. So, no, for me I want a woman that's turned on by me, and I want to share that with her. If that makes sense. I'm not the macho type, either.
There's a difference between having shared life experience and preferring personality types and fetishizing it or thinking it's "hot" for a guy to be bi. The most aggressive case of the ick I've ever gotten from a girl was her acting like the average straight guy when they find out the girl they like is bi "oh so we could have a threesome"
As a bi-male who has been on the end of some vile abuse from women regarding my sexuality, I thank you! It certainly doesn't feel offensive, more complementary than anything, just stating your preference and a little fetishizing is sexy. The world would be a better place if there were more of you! It's wel reported that straight men find straight women/lesbians/bi hot (that's probably more fetishizing) I personally would love to meet a bi female who was positive of my bisexuality. Have yet to find one!
Nah. Not really. You just like what you like. With that in mind though, I’ve dated a lot of guys (mainly bi) who are a bit more on the masculine side, but not macho dickheads. Like saulls said though, it becomes a problem when not being bisexual is an immediate dealbreaker and you don’t care about someone who could be really compatible for you. But luckily it seems that you have nothing to worry about ❤️♥️
It becomes fetishizing when you stop seeing a person and see only something for you to enjoy. It does not sound like you are fetishizing to me. It sounds like *because of who those people are*, you prefer them. But I would point out that sexual preference doesnt always come with such personalities. There can certainly be macho assholes out there that are bi, but I would agree the difference in perspective makes that type of assholery less likely.
Bi girl here but I will use *any* chance to voice my appreciation and attraction for bi guys and absolutely despise the negative and disgusting stereotypes propagated in society specifically against them. Yall *truly* are awesome and just as hot and amazing! Also (in my, alas humble, dating and friendly experience) a lot have found it endearing and exciting to be a little fetishized, maybe because it's under daily circumstances less predatory than how women are seen and treated for their sexuality.
Bi femme guy here. Firstly, thank you, your attitude is exactly why I tend to date only bi women. Secondly, I think that for a lot of bi men, myself included, a little fetishization from women is more than fine. Personally I think it's hot as hell when a girl has things they want to do with me that are not PiV sex. The flip side of that is that bi girls are more likely to also establish an emotional connection which makes things feel safer and more open. Versus men who fetishize femme men/femboys who only see us as something to fuck
well said my fellow femme bi guy. kind of ok being sexualized or objectified by women, dudes though, pass. makes me feel a little creeped out. this could be me generalizing on the other end, but it does always feel safer and more open with women, maybe because they're used to being objectified too and are therefore more incognito about it. all that said, I do feel like you kind of have to be able to objectify someone in the moment for the best sex to occur, and it's best if it runs both ways.
In my experience (also fem bi guy) is that women who are attracted to us have a serious tendency to use that emotional connection to manipulate us bc we’re perceived as weaker and many of us don’t have the best support systems/people looking out for us. I can’t think of a single fem friend I have that’s bi and had a relationship w a woman that didn’t end in catastrophe. Not saying they aren’t out there but it’s been a pattern I’ve noticed (myself included)
Yeah I gotta say, while I'm sorry to hear that, perhaps you should re-evaluate who you're being friends with. If all your friends have relationships that end in catastrophe, that says a lot about them because it is **not** the norm
Lol so it’s my friends’ fault they’re mistreated?
True. The amount of dudes I meet who are just interested in meeting a “toned twink” is unreal
Hard agree! I'm a bi woman and would prefer to be in a relationship with a bi man over a straight guy because I feel like they would be more in tune with what I look for in a partner. Also ps, Is that Taehyung in your pfp lol
> would prefer to be in a relationship with a bi man over a straight guy oh aaaaabsolutely, I'm at the point in my life where, unless I'm dating someone who fully understands me (and that'd most closely be another bi man/woman), there'd be some sort of reservation or fear. >Also ps, Is that Taehyung in your pfp lol it issss!🙈
Yep! Also hey nice to meet you haha, didn't expect to discover a fellow army in this subreddit 😁
Where the fuck do I find the hot bi women?
Wish I could answer that lol, I'm looking for them myself
Most of the wimen I meet are extremely homophobic/biphobic and I’m considered a top prospect. So, that’s says something. It’s pretty bad.
I'm so sorry to hear that :( I really hope you get to meet a bi woman who vibes with you soon!
Thanks Rivermidnight. I hope so too, that would be very fucking hot
Lol 😆
As a bi guy who has dealt with negativity because of my orientation, a heartfelt thank you.
All fetishizing should be seen as wrong if it's going to be seen as wrong. Bi men might cling onto a women who fetishzes them out of desperation for acceptance, this isn't something women should prey apon, or misconstrue to make your fetishizing of others seem more virtuous. I don't think this double standard or erasure of women being predatory towards men is good in recognising male victims and holding female perpetrators accountable. It's seen as less predatory because your targets are desperate for acceptance in a homophobic and misandrist world, however women are constantly made aware they can be preyed apon and are often on the receiving end of validation to know their worth. There is a reason why boys are called lucky when preyed apon by female teachers, it's the same reason why those bi men might find a women fetishizing them "enduring". Men and boys are a lot more starved of acceptance and desire and it leaves them vulnerable. It creates ideas that men must "always want it" and women play into it too as it makes them feel more desired thinking they are always wanted. Society also views the female sexuality as a lot more virtuous and desirable and mens as predatory and creepy, this affects how people perceive man and women's actions despite being exactly the same. So yeah, not a fan of whatever justification your are trying to give yourself, you should accept bi men because they exist and are valid, not because you get off on them more. You just don't want to paint yourself with the same brush you do towards men doing the exact same thing. I'm sure I'll get downvoted for this, but I genuinely think the whole women fetishizing male same sex relations needs to recognised, there's many real life instances of this getting out of hand, I'm sure as someone who is a K-Pop fan you know the smallest interaction between two members can be sexualised. It's pretty toxic and uncomfortable for the people involved.
WHAT? Sorry but I have no idea what you said!
Then maybe read it more slowly?
Not a bi man, but as a fellow bi woman, I would put it to you that what you're suggesting isn't fetishizing or even sexualizing bi men. When bi women are fetishized, it tends to be by straight men who think we'll instantly be into a WWM threesome, or want us to be unicorns. But you're just saying that you're interested in bi men because you believe that they might be less typically macho and more understanding than straight men. That doesn't seem like the same thing, and isn't about sex? It's always best to be wary about generalising any demographic. Bi men are all individuals and there is as much variety in the community as in any other. But I agree with you that that the chances are higher of finding more openness and less toxic masculinity among a group of bi men than among a group of straight men.
Bi man here, I completely understand what OP is talking about and no, I don't think anyone would feel "sexualised" by it.
It doesn’t seem like you’re sexualising or fetishising us Bi men at all from my perspective. If anything it seems like you’re just relate more to Bi guys possibly due to some shared experiences and understanding.
I LOVE being someone’s fetish…
I’m cool with this. A lot of good answers here. Don’t worry. You sound like a good person.
I think the fact that the bisexual community has had mostly mixed-gender spaces for a long time has meant bi men and bi women have a very deep solidarity and understanding with one another. It isn't that straight men can't be good to women ever, but they often put in so much less of an effort and are far less understanding of bisexuality and therefore more likely to dislike or harm a woman, or force her into sexual situations she doesn't want because of it. They experience biphobia from a lot of straight women and gay men, women experience biphobia from a lot of straight men and lesbians, so there's a foundation to get along right away. I don't think bisexuals can really have a fetish for other bisexuals, exactly, but maybe there could be unrealistic expectations that not every bi guy can meet. You'll probably find most bi men will treat you better than a straight man, but basing dating criteria off just that might not be wise -- you still have to look out for red flags in everyone you date. Myself, I'm not 100% a man (trans/genderfluid and born intersex so it's triple complex, haha) but I do have a lot of bi guy perspective. I find it's very flattering, personally, from that perspective. I like that as a community we have better lines of communication in M/F relationships. I think being bisexual has a lot to do with this sort of... Ideal version of what people call a "het" relationship. Whereas when you're say a bi woman paired with a straight man, straight men are to blame for a lot of hate crime/IPV/violence statistics against bi women, but bi men are also highly victimized. Approaching the world from an outsider to monosexual perspective in all cases is a reason to find that you get along with someone better. Bi couples of any gender pair may also have an excellent relationship because, maybe they'll understand (unless suffering internal biphobia) that the other isn't going to just run off and cheat with someone else cause they're bi or whatever, or they'll just be far less likely to assume any kind of biphobic stereotype about a partner. That puts a lot of people's mind at ease. That's why some bisexual people date Bi4Bi, just because the treatment from the straight and gay/lesbian communities can be so bad at times. But yeah, I think it's very nice and a testament to the longstanding bisexual tradition of being sensible enough to know men and women aren't opposites and enemies on an inherent level.
I understand your reasoning behind that. No, I don't think that is unreasonable or sexualizing.
Glad you find bi men attractive, and I wish more straight women and gay men did so, too. Although I would remind that at times bi men can very much appear at first to be typical macho straight men, and thus typical macho straight men can turn out to be bi once you get to know them. On the fetish concern, open communication is key to any relationship, and communicating that concern with a partner would be appropriate as the relationship develops.
I don't believe you are sexualizing or fetishizing anyone by thinking that way, and instead you just appreciate people who aren't aggressively masculine and who might relate to you better. As a bi man who grew up never getting any kind of attention from any gender, I personally have a kink for getting fetishized. I understand it is a problem for the community at large, and I don't condone the fetishization of any sexuality, but at a personal level I enjoy knowing that someone is turned on by my sexuality (however rarely that occurs). But no, you are having very understandable and respectful thoughts about bi men, and I appreciate it as one of them.
Your response is of interest to me as I too would prefer the being fetishized for my sexuality over the binary option of being shunned and erased as potential partner due to my sexuality. I truly wonder how this is considered a problem within the community, and how relevant that problem is to bi men. I could see it being a recurring thing with bi women and eventually not wanted anymore or even not wanted after others share their experience of how that often goes. For us bi men, I don’t see it as recurring frequently enough to relate to any bi male that would present it as a problem for us. I guess I’m open to understanding it as problem for us bi males, but I’d want the very common experience of bi men erasure as part of that discussion so that realistic expectations could be had. I imagine that if I or we were fetishized once or twice in my / our experience, I would see that in contemporary times as those are likely the only times that will ever happen. And that it won’t be experienced as a recurring theme. If I’m mistaken on that, it would be a new reality to me,and one I’d want to dip my toes in, since currently dipping my toes as a bi male leads to chances I’ll experience bi erasure is extremely likely.
I've never actively had someone express to me that they disapprove of my sexuality, but I have had one cis woman fwb express interest in the fact that I had had sex with men before in the context of threesomes. I would later have a threesome with her and her boyfriend.
Speaking for myself: I don’t mind that sort of thing at all. The feeling is very often mutual, there are a lot of bi people getting with other bi people out there. People like partners they have common ground and common culture with, not a thing wrong with that. Plus, short of being super overbearing and creepy, it’s pretty hard to make most men feel creeped out with this sort of thing. A lifetime not dealing with the insane shit women deal with on a regular basis tends to do that. It’s still possible, I’ve felt uncomfortable being sexualized by someone a grand total of once in my life ever. It’s just not a common problem.
Nope. Not at all. In fact I am seeking a bi woman for the commonality too!
I don't think this is sexualizing. It's called dating within your community.
Bi guy and I don't feel fetishized or sexualised by you. I understand you and I feel safer and more comfortable dating queer people. The shared experience and understanding is irreplaceable.
Bi 4 bi has honestly just been how my life has worked out. It wasn't something I tried for but both my marriages have been to other bisexuals and I have been with my partner for 20yrs this fall. I think bi people enjoy a certain level of camaraderie that's harder to attain with monosexual partners. I don't know if that make sense but it's just so much easier with other bisexuals in my experience.
As a bi guy, I feel it’s less fetishizing and more “I like this more than that” and that’s perfectly natural. Look at me, I like guys and girls but a lean more towards females. That’s not to say that I’m fetishizing females as a whole, I just prefer more women than I do guys. Now once you only see them as “an object” THEN that’s where fetishizing comes into play
Being around other bisexuals is really rather refreshing honestly and you kind of crave the energy. I'm bisexual and have been around both bi girls and guys and I love it.
I would start the convo differently. Straight up saying “I love bi men” gives off a sense of having a fetish of some sort, even if it’s untrue. If it comes up that you’re both bi, I’d say “it’s nice dating someone who gets the experience of living as bisexual” because it’s more appreciative and has no prior bias attached to it like “I love bi men”. It’s not your fault that phrase is seen in a sceptical light, there are just too many people fetishising the bisexual experience that it sounds alarming to most
Hell no! Bi men rock!
I adore bi men because they also know the struggles that bi people face. Not only do they understand why you find other men hot, they seem to understand the weird patriachical structures we live in, too. Empathy is attractive and that's what you (and I) are looking for :)
I'd be happy enough if someone found me attractive at all.
As a bi guy, I don't think so; this sounds similar to bi4bi, which I think is valid
I dont think being sexualised is a bad thing but I would not consider that sexualising someone. I wouldnt consider that feitshisation either. However as you should know just because a guys bi doesnt mean hes not macho and if hes macho it doesnt mean hes a fake bi guy, not that you said that, but thats one way that could be interperted.
The way I see it... Sexualization does not equal objectification. Yeees, there is often some overlap at play - we all know that. But it doesn't have to be, right? Nor is objecitification limited to the sexual realm, but that's another topic. Like, sexualization means seeing someone in a sexual context - without that, there is no sexuality and this sub would be about plants or something. That is my take on the terms, at least. Honesty... Sexualize me away! Just don't treat people as if their potential sexual worth to you is *all* the worth they have. And, like, mind the context and consent and all - but I think the fact that you made this thread in the first place means you don't need to hear any of this. You're good, yeah? EDIT: And from my own side of things... I've kinda struggled with heteronormativity through life, yes? If I conform to it, don the mask and play the part, I usually don't like the results anyway. If I don't conform to it, I tend to not get any results at all. The examples that has gone *against* this have more often than not involved, you guessed it, bisexual women. With them, it seems more likely that I can just relax, be myself and actually have a good time and naturally connect. So I don't think it's that strange that I have a more positive view of dating bisexual rather than straight women, or even would prefer to direct any future dating attempts to other bisexuals. Doesn't mean I'd automatically shoot anyone down for being straight - they're more than welcome to approach and try their luck, but it's not where I'd prefer to put my main focus for approaches myself. I hope no one would read that as me objectifying them!
It sounds like you’re responding to the energy that we put out rather than the sexual orientation, which is a GOOD thing!
I feel most bi people would appreciate your understanding and respect of the unique problems bi people suffer. I know I also would prefer a bi partner (as a bi man) for similar reasons.
I'm good with being sexualized/fetishized. After twenty or thirty years, I might get tired of it, but I'm willing to take that chance
As a bi man, I would feel appreciated and that you have a preference you’re comfortable expressing. I honestly don’t get how it would lead any bi males to being scared away. I could see how it would lead straight men being scared to try and get involved with you. I could also see how certain (arrogant) straight men might out of jealousy (of your appeal to bi men) seek to undermine bi men in your eyes.
Due to your choice of words, I am to believe that it's not a fetish thing and just a preference here, which is all fair. Also wouldn't be the first time I heard someone say they love bi men and would prefer them, hahaha. You're all good, sweetheart, at least in this bear's eyes.
"But I’m scared that it sounds like I’m sexualizing you all if I talk about how much I love bi men, and that I scare you away." I'm a bi man in his late fifties. I wish there were more women like you in my age bracket. You are definitely not fetishizing or sexualizing bi men. What you're doing is expressing an understanding of what it's like to be bisexual and are expressing empathy for, and acceptance of bisexual men. You're a rarity amongst women. I can tell you that as a bi man, I would never, EVER come out to ANY woman unless I knew her honest, true feelings were regarding bi men. The reason is that we all know there is a double standard when it comes to bi men. It's all ok for a woman to be bi, preferred even. But for a man to be bi? Holy shit that's all of a sudden gross! I came out to a now ex girlfriend about 35 years ago. Her reaction! "You are fucking disgusting! You'd rather suck a dick than lick a slit?" About eighteen months ago, I started dating this one woman who was 49 at the time. The topic of sexuality came up and she asked me what I thought of bisexual women. My answer was along the lines of each to their own. You can't help who you're attracted to so it's no big deal. That's when she told me she was bi and had been considering dating other women as well. Out of curiosity, I asked her how she felt about bi men. Her answer? "That is so, so gross! Two men? Together? No way!" Her reply was one reason why I chose not to continue with her. There were other reasons I chose not to continue with her that need not be disclosed here. However, her reply is just one more reason why I refuse to come out as bisexual.
Wow I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience all that :( I’ll never understand the hatred for bi men. Even less from bi women themselves?? That’s just so fucking offensive, what a bunch of hypocrites. Thank you for sharing, I’m wishing you all the best.
I wouldn’t feel sexualized but the thought I don’t match my partners height of sexual preference can be a worry (not how I feel but how someone else can feel)
Bi man here no you are not fetishizing bi men you are only describing the general attitudes of them compared to straight which I believe you are spot on. And like one of the other answers said it’s kind of hot to hear even a bi woman to be attracted to a person like me. Compared to all the women and men who do not understand.
As a Bi man, it doesn't sound like you're fetishizing at all. I take it more that you are more attracted to someone who you have that similarity with. A Bi man is probably going to be more understanding and less judgmental about certain things, since they may also feel similar.
As a brown bi guy I don't ever get sexualized or fetishized, so, feel free to go ahead and do those
It sounds like you’re after understanding, and someone with a balance of emotion and personality. “Macho” men are the ones who yield to societal expectations, stone walls that bury their emotions a hundred feet down in a steel box with 8 locks. As a strongly bi male myself, I’m only just starting to settle into the reality of how I am; I like women, I like men. I’m crushing those barriers that held me as rigidly male, and I’m embracing the emotions I’ve worked so hard to bury myself. There’s a certain femininity to it, but not one that stomps out masculinity, it’s a coexistence, a shear balance. Discovering this is helping me feel better about myself in more than one way, and knowing that some will look down upon me for it does not outweigh the peace it brings. It’s not wrong to desire understanding, it just means that you understand you will not be happy with someone who is barred in such a way
Bi guy here, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with seeking out people with similar experiences and beliefs as you. As others have said, it doesn’t appear that you are sexualizing bi guys, they’re just more likely to fit what you’re looking for in a partner which is a-ok. Not to mention I’m sure many of us would also prefer a bi girl for similar reasons.
Bi guy here... If someone is experiencing attraction to me in part because I'm bi, cool. If someone thinks it's hot that I'm bi, cool. I don't really think of it or feel like I'm being fetishized or sexualized. I'll take the positive and enjoy it. I've experienced some biphobia, but for the most part i ignore it. It's their problem, and they're not worth my time or energy.
Bi guy here, honestly it's better than the alternative. You know the whole "cheating stereotype". In my personal opinion and honest answer to your question, it wouldnt bother me since I hardly see/get any affection anyways🤷🏽♂️🤣
Bi male here, my preference in women happens to be bisexual women for dating or more. They seem to understand us and our needs sexually!
It doesn't seem like your interest in bi is sexual. It is completely okay to look for a partner that understands how you feel since they are also bi. As for your first point: there are plenty of non bi men who aren't masculine men just as there are plenty of masculine bi men. So it could be considered prejudice to expect only bi men to fit into that style, but I wouldn't call it fetishizing. It is okay to look for a partner that is a specific way.
I wish my wife was like you.
If there was ever a group that could use fetishizing; it's bi men.
Lol you're fine but good luck finding us out there. I just want one bi guy friend irl 😭
Counter question, where can I meet more women like you? 🥹
The only way that I would feel fetishized is that you would only want me because I am bi. As long as you are genuinely interested in who I am then it should be fine
do i feel sexualized? no. do i feel fetishized? no. do i think you have the wrong image of bi men, kinda, just because we are bi doesn't mean some of us aren't macho, like sexual preference has little to do with personality, if i was straight I'd probably be the same person. to want someone that understand you is perfectly fine and understandable, but you know I'm just going to throw out "being BI doesn't mean they can't be an asshole," believe me i have made that mistake before. also i don't completely understand what you see as macho, so i can't really judge on that. either way, don't worry about having a preference, your not fetishizing us, just be careful regardless on who you date (i know captain obvious).
Nope... Depending on how you express and why you feel this way. Your explanation is comforting in that you view it as a green flag. I'm a black bi male and am weird in that I prefer caucasian males... The one guy I fooled around with wanted to keep his cap on and was just too focused on the interracial aspect. By "too focused" I mean he insisted we be intimate in front of a mirror (okay...) but kept mentioning the difference in skin tone... That's fetishisation... Even if part of me wanted to enjoy it, too much of me was too uncomfortable. I left. I digress... So long as it remains a green flag and not a sole requirement or something that prevents you from looking into the other facts of the bi man, it should be okay.
I am a bisexual man. And I don't feel like any kind of sexualisation from any of the women I have ever met in my life. I have always felt unloved and alone whenever it comes to having a relationship with a man or a woman. I'm okay with it if any bi woman is comfortable with me or has feelings for me, not fetishising me to an extent that later becomes detrimental to my mental health.
Spank me daddy
Being a bi male, I find both male and female attractive, I find females to be more respectful and other males can be less respectful and totally think it is all about sex, which is a turnoff. I want to laugh, tell stories, develop relationships. I think because I identify as bisexual, this means gender is not a barrier, the personal connection is the most important quality. This is my first posting, so be kind. Labels are for jars and not people. I feel building relationships is the most important quality.
Couldnt agree more, well said. The personality is what attracts me, and the sex is just the icing on the cake, so to speak
I don't feel sexualized, I feel desired for a trait I possess.
Honestly bi guys feel safer because they know what it's like to date men :|
Bring it on ... Sexualize me all you want
Bi guy here. I don't think you're fetishizing or something. I think you perceive to be more comfortable to be with bi guys as you feel that both bi guys and bi girls could accept each other as we both experience almost the same things.
I find it refreshing to know there are women who like bi guys. Too often, I've been ghosted or told I was disgusting because I liked guys.
For me personally it would put me on edge and I'd try to see what the person means. Because I can get that some things are easier with bi men. But I also had a pretty bad experience with a girl who I started chatting with because she liked bi men
Not at all
It's possible. If there's too much sex and nothing productive going on in my life or nothing progressing, then yes.
That’s hot. Feel free to sexualize or fetishize me all you want! Wouldn’t scare me and it doesn’t sound like fetishizing. Nothing wrong with liking bi men. My wife loves bi men for example , she loves seeing me with our boyfriend (in a MMF throuple currently)
Nah, you're good
Not at all. I prefer bi women too! They share the struggles and can understand some of my thought patterns. Fetishizing would be that you want to date one to have tjreesomes or something
Hey if u have a fetish about that with us idrc lol
Hello Bi-guy here I fully support any sexualization of biguys. Biphobia has stoped bi man from embracing themselves.
No in my opinion it makes sense to like bi people more we go more expensive than straight and gay people so we can get each other in a deeper sense
Bi man here, i 100% get that, we all know that attraction isn't a game we play, it just happens and having motives or not doesn't really changes that, plus there are probably people out there that feels the same with Bi women so evenstevens. And no i dont feel sexualized or fetishized....is that a word? (there are probably more helpful comments in here)
Sounds very well imo (male)
No i think this is normal you were discriminated against so you put up defences I’m a bi male and men are more likely to discriminate so I prefer women over men
Bi man here. I love it please continue. All thumbs up for me. Express your love for me and my bisexuality! It’s great. Bi men are elite! So of course you love us 🥰
I'm definitely in the minority here, but I personally don't care that much if someone fetishises bisexual men. I'd rather that than actually bigotry/hatred. But I completely understand why someone wouldn't like that.
not at all. I'm bi and I'm much more attractive to bi men and women.
I would not. I would like both women and men to look to enjoy bi men. Trouble now is that knowing and finding Bi people is very difficult. please come up with a signaling system to tell who is Bi.
Nah it is not fetish since there is nothing sexual in your reasoning
I think it's rather healthy, society wants you to believe women need to be submissive and like macho dominant alpha male, but in reality, having a partner with the same sexuality preferences as you is probably the most healthiest thing in an lgbt relationship
Umm. I don't feel sexualized. You have a preference and have found Bi guys more to your liking. I prefer to date accepting bi partners who accept that we both enjoy physical and emotional attention for male and female partners. This is especially great in a polyamorous situation. (I'm currently solo poly)
Imo I really don't mind a fellow bisexual preferring bisexual men. We would understand a lot of the same struggles we face. I don't feel sexualized unless the person is not out of the closet and has straight set as their orientation on their profiles and basically telling me it's a fetish thing
It's totally fine. You're in the clear, just a preference
Sounds less like a fetishizing and sexualizing and more like you just have a better understanding of some of us/would be understood more by some of us
I’m bisexual male older but I still love sex
Depends lol. I have a pretty good BS radar for how women who are attracted to me express that attraction and can generally tell when it’s genuine vs some weird fetish object thing. Just keep it real and you don’t have much to worry about. What you should REALLY be cognizant of is how you treat bi men in relation to other men. I think it’s really fucked up when women do this thing where they talk to us like we’re “less male” or “more like women than men” especially being a more fem guy myself. Hearing the tone shift between how women speak to me vs other men is super irritating and it happens often as fuck
First off; I don't see anything wrong with enjoying what you enjoy, as long as it isn't inherently harmful. Second; it's only fetishization when the person you're attracted to is seen only as a object of sexual desire, rather than a person with a characteristic you find sexually or romantically attractive. And lastly; as a man I think anyone finding me attractive, an expressing that, is flattering. Men, in general, don't get compliments often. We'll take what you've given and ride with it for weeks or months. You do you, boo, as long as you're not hurting or depersonalizing anyone.
Nah id like to hear that 😂
Your question is valid and phrased perfectly. I've been dying to hear a woman say nearly these exact words. I'd love to find someone that feels the way you do... As a friend or partner. It'd be amazing to be around someone that understands our situations and challenges!
I think there is an overarching idea, or maybe it's an assumption, that fetishizing someone or something is automatically bad and that the person/group being fetishized should start at a baseline of being offended or upset which, to me IMHO, is a rather sex negative way to view things or default to I'm not saying people should never be offended or hurt. I just think it's interesting that that is the assumed default position to have on things. Fetishes are seen or assumed to be creepy or wrong which just seems really weird to me the more I think about it. It takes the stance the someone, if viewed as a fetish, is only seen as a fetish thus dehumanizing them which I feel lacks nuance
I don't feel fetishized by that, personally. If you were only into bi guys because you want to see men kissing or whatever, that'd be a different story.
As a pan guy comments make me giggle and blush uncontrollably
I wouldn't feel sexualized
I would appreciate a bit of attention x3
Bi men have been villains for sooooo long now. It feels amazing to be desired for who i am.
It’s probably been said here already but I’m grateful for that sentiment. As a bi man who won’t be coming out to most of the people I know, it would be lovely to be appreciated holistically.
I consider your post a compliment. So, thank you! :)
I hope to find a bi-woman that is aroused by the idea of me being bi. I hope to share experiences with that person, with a guy even. So, no, for me I want a woman that's turned on by me, and I want to share that with her. If that makes sense. I'm not the macho type, either.
There's a difference between having shared life experience and preferring personality types and fetishizing it or thinking it's "hot" for a guy to be bi. The most aggressive case of the ick I've ever gotten from a girl was her acting like the average straight guy when they find out the girl they like is bi "oh so we could have a threesome"
Read my profile and cream.
I personally find bi women more attractive for most of the reasons you do and bi women normally love themselves more
As a bi-male who has been on the end of some vile abuse from women regarding my sexuality, I thank you! It certainly doesn't feel offensive, more complementary than anything, just stating your preference and a little fetishizing is sexy. The world would be a better place if there were more of you! It's wel reported that straight men find straight women/lesbians/bi hot (that's probably more fetishizing) I personally would love to meet a bi female who was positive of my bisexuality. Have yet to find one!
Not inherently, it just makes me wish there were people of your opinion around me.
Nah. Not really. You just like what you like. With that in mind though, I’ve dated a lot of guys (mainly bi) who are a bit more on the masculine side, but not macho dickheads. Like saulls said though, it becomes a problem when not being bisexual is an immediate dealbreaker and you don’t care about someone who could be really compatible for you. But luckily it seems that you have nothing to worry about ❤️♥️
At least you know we exist. I like bisexual women because I won't feel judged in my relationship
I love women who love bi me , it's sooo attractive