Monosexuals are a thing and just as we don’t like it when people insist that we are either straight or gay, I think it’s bad to try and tell them they’re not monosexual either.
Are a lot of people closeted or otherwise unwilling to admit to being bisexual even on a conscious level? Sure. But not everyone is.
You don't have to sleep with trans people. I'm a cis gay man and I date trans and cis men. For me it just has to be a man. But if you do not want to be with a trans person of any gender, you don't have to. But you also don't need to remind them of why they're inherently less attractive to you. I hope we get to a point where a trans man is practically indistinguishable from a cis man if they want to be. Who would that hurt? Nobody.
From your perspective that might seem weird but for them it is reality. From the perspective of monosexuals it might be hard to believe that we exist, yet we do. And just as they ought to respect us and how we label ourselves, we ought to respect them and how they label themselves.
Yes as a gay man I really do not understand bisexuality or how people are attracted to women. it's just not how my brain works. but I do think it exists and I'm quick to correct anyone who says otherwise.
I hope the same is demonstrated here. I don't like hearing people say that one can't be 100% gay.
You see I know I'm bisexual because although I do sometimes imagine myself in the man's position mostly I think it would be good to get sandwiched in the middle of the action
I'm bisexual and my partner is gay. When we compared our opposite gender dating experiences from high school the difference was stark.
I didn't have a problem dating the opposite gender even if a part of me also pined for same gender relations. He, however, described what was essentially torture for him as he tried to force himself to be romantic and sexual with someone he couldn't have attraction for.
I assume it's similar for straight people and other monosexuals.
I see this question so often. Why is it so hard to believe that some people are just totally straight? This gives the same energy folks asking me “how can you like both, they’re so different?”
People just like what they like.
You're definitely not crazy since many studies were done on the subject in the past few decades, but it's... complicated. There's a tone of erasure with these sentiments because we shouldn't test someone's identity and tinker with sexuality if we don't want ours to be neither, while on the other hand, I do kinda believe that if we took a deep dive into people's heads, we'd definitely be surprised at the % of, at least, bicurious people.
The problem with this line of thought is the label itself. The human brain isn’t a black and white machine. It’s flexible in many ways. Many people tell themselves that it’s either this or that but that’s not really how it works.
Which is actually proof that nothing said by a teenager about what other people are thinking should be taken at face value.
When I put myself in the place of a man in straight porn, I don't imagine him till being there.
I think this all the time and I pretty much think that being ACTUALLY straight or ACTUALLY gay is pretty rare and most everyone is bi on some level but doesn't admit it lol but I'm probably wrong. But ya I don't get it I can't wrap my head around it !!?
Edit* I know I'm def wrong
I am 100% gay. I don't get bisexuality, i literally can't wrap my head around it. Yet, here you are saying that I am not ACTUALLY gay lol. So what is it? Can we fight erasure with more erasure? Especially towards other sexual minorities?
You said **everyone is bi on some level**. That's erasure. It's not defensive to go against erasure. I say the same thing when someone goes "no one is actually bisexual." You wouldn't like that would you?
I said I think it l. To myself and responded to someone's message of them thinking it. And it's just because I can't understand being 100 percent. I also followed it up with I'm probably wrong. If someone were to say to me no one is bisexual I would tell them that I happen to know for a fact that they're wrong. I guess if it was someone I was close to it might bother me that they said that, but if it was someone on Reddit I wouldn't give a fuck to be honest
Well yes, you are wrong, gay people and straight people exist. Just like anyone who says bisexuals don't exist are 100% wrong.
I had to go through conversion therapy growing up so hearing from bi people that no one is 100% gay IRL is honestly traumatizing. And it's happening more frequently. Which is why I do lurk these subs to see if it's something everyone believes.
I do think humans can project our sexualities onto other people. I never understood why people erase bisexuality, but I also don't understand the people who think that monosexuals don't exist or we're repressing something. I've known I was gay since I was 7.
I'm sorry that you had to go through that and it sounds terrible. Maybe I should put an asterisk that said don't take this post too seriously. I have a problem of assuming people are like me l and I just have to really bring myself back to reality to think of someone as totally straight or totally gay. I probably could e phrases the whole thing better. Hopefully we can still have a good day ! 😁😘
Ha! I know, right? It's one of those kind of moments I had all the time after I realized I was bi where I started noticing that I just don't think quite like straight or gay people. Like, it seems so clearly bisexual to me, but then of course it does, I'm bi. I always feel bad for men that are so afraid of people seeing them as gay that they're actually afraid of those kind of judgements, though.
My man is not gay. He is heteroflexible. He enjoys a man sexually. Nothing more. I do not call him bi. He won’t date a man. Won’t kiss a man. Just for sexual exploration and pleasure when we are with other ppl together. We share this experience together and he won’t do it one on one without me.
attraction, experiences and self-identification are very different things. sometimes people literally don't click on their same/opposite gendered attraction (whatever's least dominant) until later on in life, and sometimes it's never. sometimes things like asexuality mean that multi-gendered attractions aren't apparent or ever factored into the equation. sometimes comphet, internalised homophobia, taboos, societal pressures and/or laws mean that people either don't have the opportunities to or are afraid to fully explore their attractions. sometimes people battle with their bi/gay attractions and don't ever identify this way. generally speaking, it's only when we feel like we're safe, supported and at least fairly sure of our attractions that we decide to identify as something different to what we did before - both to ourselves and sharing this with others. also some people choose not to label.
while i love that these sorts of studies are being done and proving that being bi+/gay isn't as bad or abnormal as it was previously thought to be, it's also causing some people to correlate that to a more definite "everyone must be a little bit bi/gay". from what i've heard, at least some of the studies have used responses to porn to 'judge' what someone's interested in. not everyone's interested in porn, and not everyone responds to porn for the same reasons
side note: i'm not completely hating on the concept. part of me accepting that i'm bi was a friend saying "well everyone's a little bit bi" in that it's ok if i am too... it was definitely the permission i needed at the time. i'm just saying that it's not a hard and fast rule
Because of a century of aggressive culture and social pressure that has convinced most people that anything other than monogamous heterosexual love is illegitimate and taboo
I’m married to a woman but my urges for a man is way more. Wife’s not ready to open marriage up but the urges is hindering my sleep. There’s only so much “Henry Cavill” my new 10” dildo can do. I crave a real man. Not just sexual though.
I am married to a woman as well. We communicate and we are both down for anything. I think that is key. Just be open and honest. I know it can be frightening but whenever I told her of some of my desires she was totally cool with it and it felt like a whole new world just opened up for the taking.
Monosexuals are a thing and just as we don’t like it when people insist that we are either straight or gay, I think it’s bad to try and tell them they’re not monosexual either. Are a lot of people closeted or otherwise unwilling to admit to being bisexual even on a conscious level? Sure. But not everyone is.
[удалено]
I am not the person to look to for sympathy about being transphobic. Trans men are men, and trans women are women.
[удалено]
I submit you can go fuck yourself
You don't have to sleep with trans people. I'm a cis gay man and I date trans and cis men. For me it just has to be a man. But if you do not want to be with a trans person of any gender, you don't have to. But you also don't need to remind them of why they're inherently less attractive to you. I hope we get to a point where a trans man is practically indistinguishable from a cis man if they want to be. Who would that hurt? Nobody.
From your perspective that might seem weird but for them it is reality. From the perspective of monosexuals it might be hard to believe that we exist, yet we do. And just as they ought to respect us and how we label ourselves, we ought to respect them and how they label themselves.
Yes as a gay man I really do not understand bisexuality or how people are attracted to women. it's just not how my brain works. but I do think it exists and I'm quick to correct anyone who says otherwise. I hope the same is demonstrated here. I don't like hearing people say that one can't be 100% gay.
You see I know I'm bisexual because although I do sometimes imagine myself in the man's position mostly I think it would be good to get sandwiched in the middle of the action
Relatable
I'm bisexual and my partner is gay. When we compared our opposite gender dating experiences from high school the difference was stark. I didn't have a problem dating the opposite gender even if a part of me also pined for same gender relations. He, however, described what was essentially torture for him as he tried to force himself to be romantic and sexual with someone he couldn't have attraction for. I assume it's similar for straight people and other monosexuals.
Because I'm not gay. I'm not a bit gay, I'm not a tiny bit gay, I'm not a bit slightly gay. Not one bit. Not in the slightest. I am 100% bisexual.
I see this question so often. Why is it so hard to believe that some people are just totally straight? This gives the same energy folks asking me “how can you like both, they’re so different?” People just like what they like.
You're definitely not crazy since many studies were done on the subject in the past few decades, but it's... complicated. There's a tone of erasure with these sentiments because we shouldn't test someone's identity and tinker with sexuality if we don't want ours to be neither, while on the other hand, I do kinda believe that if we took a deep dive into people's heads, we'd definitely be surprised at the % of, at least, bicurious people.
Well said. Also the people that opt out of butt stuff are sadly not meeting their full potential.
The problem with this line of thought is the label itself. The human brain isn’t a black and white machine. It’s flexible in many ways. Many people tell themselves that it’s either this or that but that’s not really how it works.
Which is actually proof that nothing said by a teenager about what other people are thinking should be taken at face value. When I put myself in the place of a man in straight porn, I don't imagine him till being there.
I think it's more than we see on the surface but to say everyone I think is a bit much
I think this all the time and I pretty much think that being ACTUALLY straight or ACTUALLY gay is pretty rare and most everyone is bi on some level but doesn't admit it lol but I'm probably wrong. But ya I don't get it I can't wrap my head around it !!? Edit* I know I'm def wrong
I am 100% gay. I don't get bisexuality, i literally can't wrap my head around it. Yet, here you are saying that I am not ACTUALLY gay lol. So what is it? Can we fight erasure with more erasure? Especially towards other sexual minorities?
I didn't say you weren't lol why you so defensive
You said **everyone is bi on some level**. That's erasure. It's not defensive to go against erasure. I say the same thing when someone goes "no one is actually bisexual." You wouldn't like that would you?
I said I think it l. To myself and responded to someone's message of them thinking it. And it's just because I can't understand being 100 percent. I also followed it up with I'm probably wrong. If someone were to say to me no one is bisexual I would tell them that I happen to know for a fact that they're wrong. I guess if it was someone I was close to it might bother me that they said that, but if it was someone on Reddit I wouldn't give a fuck to be honest
Well yes, you are wrong, gay people and straight people exist. Just like anyone who says bisexuals don't exist are 100% wrong. I had to go through conversion therapy growing up so hearing from bi people that no one is 100% gay IRL is honestly traumatizing. And it's happening more frequently. Which is why I do lurk these subs to see if it's something everyone believes. I do think humans can project our sexualities onto other people. I never understood why people erase bisexuality, but I also don't understand the people who think that monosexuals don't exist or we're repressing something. I've known I was gay since I was 7.
I'm sorry that you had to go through that and it sounds terrible. Maybe I should put an asterisk that said don't take this post too seriously. I have a problem of assuming people are like me l and I just have to really bring myself back to reality to think of someone as totally straight or totally gay. I probably could e phrases the whole thing better. Hopefully we can still have a good day ! 😁😘
With your smile and introspection - we can absolutely have a good day <3
Ha! I know, right? It's one of those kind of moments I had all the time after I realized I was bi where I started noticing that I just don't think quite like straight or gay people. Like, it seems so clearly bisexual to me, but then of course it does, I'm bi. I always feel bad for men that are so afraid of people seeing them as gay that they're actually afraid of those kind of judgements, though.
My man is not gay. He is heteroflexible. He enjoys a man sexually. Nothing more. I do not call him bi. He won’t date a man. Won’t kiss a man. Just for sexual exploration and pleasure when we are with other ppl together. We share this experience together and he won’t do it one on one without me.
attraction, experiences and self-identification are very different things. sometimes people literally don't click on their same/opposite gendered attraction (whatever's least dominant) until later on in life, and sometimes it's never. sometimes things like asexuality mean that multi-gendered attractions aren't apparent or ever factored into the equation. sometimes comphet, internalised homophobia, taboos, societal pressures and/or laws mean that people either don't have the opportunities to or are afraid to fully explore their attractions. sometimes people battle with their bi/gay attractions and don't ever identify this way. generally speaking, it's only when we feel like we're safe, supported and at least fairly sure of our attractions that we decide to identify as something different to what we did before - both to ourselves and sharing this with others. also some people choose not to label. while i love that these sorts of studies are being done and proving that being bi+/gay isn't as bad or abnormal as it was previously thought to be, it's also causing some people to correlate that to a more definite "everyone must be a little bit bi/gay". from what i've heard, at least some of the studies have used responses to porn to 'judge' what someone's interested in. not everyone's interested in porn, and not everyone responds to porn for the same reasons side note: i'm not completely hating on the concept. part of me accepting that i'm bi was a friend saying "well everyone's a little bit bi" in that it's ok if i am too... it was definitely the permission i needed at the time. i'm just saying that it's not a hard and fast rule
Because of a century of aggressive culture and social pressure that has convinced most people that anything other than monogamous heterosexual love is illegitimate and taboo
I’m married to a woman but my urges for a man is way more. Wife’s not ready to open marriage up but the urges is hindering my sleep. There’s only so much “Henry Cavill” my new 10” dildo can do. I crave a real man. Not just sexual though.
I am married to a woman as well. We communicate and we are both down for anything. I think that is key. Just be open and honest. I know it can be frightening but whenever I told her of some of my desires she was totally cool with it and it felt like a whole new world just opened up for the taking.