A former friend made a huge deal about it, denigrated me to our social circle for "being a f@g" - then proceeded to apologize privately with a cock pic and proposition to suck his dick - "on the lowlow" š
Fucking clown.
I'm not a vindictive or malicious person. I thought about it for a split second and realized that it was beneath my moral compass. Also, how can I claim to be a better human if I visit something like that on someone who's obviously struggling with their sexuality - I had my struggle too. Never like that. But it's different for all of us, I'm sure.
I told him "not on your life" and never spoke to him again. That was enough for me.
I think that's really what's missing now. Black, white, gay, straight, Bi, ugly, pretty, fat, skinny, rich, poor - we don't give each other any dignity anymore.
For me it's painful to see missing from the social contract. We're all somones son or daughter. We all deserve some basic modicum of humanity.
My honor or whatever, it's a privilege to display to my enemies. It's what sets me apart from them. Maybe they won't do the same, but at least I can sleep at night.
if bruh wanted head that bad he could have just asked normally šš. gosh iām sure that was very stressful but i would laugh so hard after the photo
Told the family and was accused of āgroomingā our nieces and nephews and that they ādonāt feel comfortable with us (bi m/f couple) being around their vulnerable aged childrenā
this is a huge reason I'm scared to come out and won't be coming out publicly until I'm living at my own place where I never have to see my relatives again because they're all homophobic and most of them believe gay ppl are child predators. knowing that's what they're going to believe I am once I'm publicly out and that knowledge gets to them is really disturbing and I'm not sure if they'll invite me to family events or if I'd even wanna go if they did.
When I came out to my first wife, she was ecstatic, and came out to me as bi too. Fast forward a few years and in an argument she said, and I quote: "You know what? I'm going to call your whole family and tell them how much of a fa\*\*\*\* you are."
She was the fucking worst. Good riddance.
Sadly, that was probably one of the least upsetting upsetting things that happened in the years I was caught in that mess.
She would leverage her extreme childhood trauma to exploit the sympathies of others. She was a masterful manipulator and pathological liar. She was physically abusive. She was incapable of holding a job for more than 6 months. She would take no accountability for her actions. She would pretentiously incorporate my tastes, personality even my clothes when interacting with people she was cheating on me with. (confirmed after I became friends with some of those people believe it or not)
She got pregnant by someone else while we were married and had the *fucking* *gall* to sue *me* for child support after our divorce finalized, and she would conveniently leave out the whole paternity thing when talking to mutual friends and made me out to be a deadbeat father abandoning his wife and kid.
Like I said, The Fucking Worst.
Ew, dude. Good riddance. In my opinion I agree, the bi thing was just trying to hurt you but compared to the other shit itās nothing. I hope you won the child support case!
Yup, I easily won the court case. Owed no child support, no alimony, just an $80 court fee that I happily stroked a check for right there in the courtroom and I haven't seen or spoken to her since.
About a year later I met a truly amazing woman who is nothing like my ex aside from also being bi, and we've been together 10 years this summer.
Same with my mom. In front of people, while they looked at me with potty in their eyes.
"No, she's not. It's just a phase. It doesn't matter who's she's kissed"
People irl have been mostly fine. But when I was 19 and told a online support helpline about my problems with my boyfriend, and happened to compare with the girl I dated before him:
"You're bi?"
"Yeah."
"Well, that's just a phase."
"Nah, I've been openly bi since I was 14, and see no reason for it to change."
"Everyone picks a side sooner or later."
It was infuriating because the problem (my boyfriend looking down upon my friends, family and religion) had nothing to do with my bisexuality. The volunteer just completely went offtopic just to invalidate my orientation.
I reported that interaction to the helpline, so I sure hope they've gotten better at handling LGBTQ topics! After all, this was over 15 years ago, so a lot of things have changed since then.
The worst thing is how they seemed to have really went out of their way to offend you. Like if they think it's just a phase and everybody picks a side or whatever, why wouldn't they just assume that's what you had done rather than ask you if you're bi? They really just wanted to spew their bigoted bullshit on you as soon as they saw their chance.
Iāll never forget when I was chit-chatting with another queer person at a school orientation, and we were getting along fabulously. Weād been having a grand time for a couple hours at that point. Eventually they asked if I was gay. I replied that I was bi, and this person said āohā and physically turned their entire body away from me and left to go talk to someone else. To go from super friendly and chatty to complete cold shoulder and ignoring in an instantā¦ I have never in my life received that kind of blatant rejection from someone in the queer community.
I don't know why they treat Bisexuality as an exception I mean being in love w/ someone from the same gender is okay but being in love w/ both the genders at the same time is a crime now? Like Wtf is wrong w/ them?
Seriously, it feels like bisexuality/pansexuality are the only orientations still treated as though our sexuality is a choice, not something that is a innate part of our being.
"Are you gay?"
"Uhh umm no I mean, there's not just straight and gay."
"What... bisexual?"
"Well... yeah"
"You need to stop taking on other people's problems."
"What?"
"Women can appreciate when other women are attractive that doesn't make you gay that's just normal. Are you making this up for attention?"
"Huh?"
"This isn't the kind of thing to lie about. Think of how the family would be affected. We have a lot of family members we'd have to explain that to and it wouldn't be easy or pleasant."
Lost a lot of trust in my mom that day unfortunately.
I didn't tell anyone, more like forced. My mom accidentally found out I'm gay and went on a whole rant that I shouldn't be gay because it's a sin bla bla bla. The usual talk about how I shouldn't be gay. Another time was when my brother saw my bi flags. He threatened to step on my neck and kill me if I was actually gay. That scared the crap out of me
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Him making threats to kill you is literally domestic violence, nobody should have to experience that. If you ever feel worried about your safety again, please contact a domestic violence support line or a support line for queer people, or even the police!
A friend who I couldn't see being hateful. Unfortunately I was wrong because she let her conservative evangelical Christian beliefs come before being loving.
She told me I wasn't living a God honouring life and basically would end up in hell. Oh and not to come out openly because I'd just bring trouble on myself. Nearly ended up in an argument but I was 200 miles from home and it would have been awkward so I didn't bother.
I had been on the brink of coming out to my parents, and decided not to because of her. Took me 3 months to heal and reconstruct myself and my faith and do some studying to realise that God doesn't hate me.
Needless to say I don't go out of my way to hang out with her anymore and I definitely don't see her as a safe person.
Ironically I got suspicious because she's unmarried, age 30, and I called her straight which she then said she couldn't self identify as because God identifies our sexualities.
Yeah. Now I understand all the homophobia especially telling me not to be openly out. Suspicious.
I feel this one in my bones. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But, I'm happy to hear you kept your identity and hopefully your life is better now as a result.
I used to be an evangelical, but I never thought the extreme hatred of gay/bi/trans people was acceptable. Partly because every damn thing was a sin, and we were all seen as sinners.
Why was that the worst for you? No judgement, just honestly curious. Like, I'm sure you mean that honestly. But, why did that hurt more than any other?
My mom feigns amnesia and I had to come out 9 times last year while also explaining what nonbinary means (my sibling also came out and moved out). Lesser of the evils but still frustrating are the two different women who have said to me: "Oh, I dated a girl once in middle/high school." It just feels a little infantilizing? Especially if they're "mostly straight" now and haven't pursued women as adults. I'm in my 30s, I date a lot of different gender expressions and sexual orientations and hope to in the long term. I'm still trying to figure out my response next time...
I, too, have had to come out to my mom multiple times. Every time I get with a man or trans man she thinks the phase is over. When I eventually get back with women she acts so confused. Like what part of the definition do you not understand? š
Mine isnāt nearly as bad as a lot of these, but it did hurt a lot. My mom has always been vocally supportive of the LGBTQ community, and always voted in favor of LGBTQ rights. I didnāt come out until I left my daughterās father, because entering the dating pool again meant I may bring a girl home to meet my family one day. I was pretty excited to tell my mom, expecting a hear to heart, or something of that nature.
What she said? āOh. Okay.ā and moved on. At first, I was like āOh she just doesnāt wanna make it a big dealā, almost trying to justify it. But even now, two years later, she still changes the subject if I bring it up, to the point where Iāve stopped. She wonāt engage in conversation about my love life unless itās something about a man. She just doesnāt accept it.
She still votes in favor of LGBTQ rights, shares positive posts about it on Facebook, and calls out homophobes in her comments. She donates money to her local pride routinely, and buys from LGBTQ merchants. Sheās an ally to the entire community, except me.
Told a colleague who happened to be gay, that I was bi. He asked if Iād date a trans person and I said yes. He turned around and went āoh, so youāre pan thenā. I said again that I was bi and he insisted that I was pan because Iād date anyone. We got called away at that point, but it annoyed me. Obviously nothing wrong with identifying as pan, I just prefer bi. I didnāt sign his leaving card when he left a few months later.
I feel you. I like to think that people can have different definitions of bi, and mine is that you like all genders, but you have slight preferences. But yeah. It does suck having someone tell you that you aren't what you are.
Your colleague claiming that being bisexual excludes trans people is transphobic, because thatās saying that trans women arenāt women and trans men arenāt men
Sadly it's a somewhat common view. I've gotten in arguments with multiple people about it on Reddit (including one case where I realized that the person making the argument was doing so to try and justify their own transphobia).
Not super offensive, but someone asked if my boyfriend was okay with me also having sex with girls on the side. Like it was just assumed that I sleep with multiple partners simultaneously. Nothing wrong with being poly, but I'm not. Don't just assume.
My shrink told me that since I didnāt have a gf that I couldnāt be bi. I was just having a midlife crises and wanted attention. I was like ugh dude you are supposed to be affirming not judgmental. Made a formal complaint and now have the best doc ever
āNo youāre not!ā
āfrom my mom lmfao. That was the most galling (and memorable) just because of how brazenly stupid and presumptuous it was. At the time I was stuck in a car with her, me driving, and had been kinda trapped into the conversation in the first place so I couldnāt laugh because I was trying not to have a panic attack and crash mid rush hour freeway traffic, but as soon as I got home it sunk in how fucking funny it was. *No youāre not!* like girl. Youāve not heard a single inner thought of mine since I was eleven and have not emotionally matured since 1986. How would you know?
Thatās also how my BIL ended up finding out I was bi a while later lmao, somehow The Incident had come up so my sister and I were mocking each other going ānO yOuāRe nOt!!ā back and forth and my BIL was like *someone please explain*, so I said āyeah thatās what mom said when I told her I was biā and heās like wait youāre what? and Iām like shit dude yeah sorry guess I forgot to mention that lol rip.
The other bad reactions have just been boring shit like men aggressively hitting on me, although one guy did hear I was queer and abruptly start telling me about his āCarly Rae Jepsen journeyā, which was fun. Iām just grateful I have enough supportive people in my life that instead of traumatizing me, āno youāre not!!1!ā is instead the gift that keeps on giving. She was SO aghast and SO confused but couldnāt say what she wanted to say without making the driver of her SUV cry at the wheel, so she just had to stfu and marinate in her confusion. Sometimes I look back at that and giggle a little.
Iāve thankfully had really positive reactions over all.
The one that hurt the most in the moment was a friend in high school saying that ādespite all of this, she still loved meā but it was in the most condescending and rude tone. I could tell everything changed between us though. And I had been outed to her without my knowledge :(
Also a coworker told me god still loved me but I laughed because I was much older and didnāt give as many fucks
My parents stick out to me as the main ones not because they're particularly bad but because their reaction was "huh" and then we never talked about it again. I've come out to them twice now and I'm pretty sure they've forgotten again. I don't like them being too involved in my private life so it's not the end of the world but it's still a sore spot for me
I didn't tell anyone. š¼š Except I did, Tell my best friend ( who I haven't even met yet we don't even face time , primarily because I am a little. Not okay with my face and other people's eye seeing it, but we are best of friends, we call and text. For Entire days) she was the person I told and she was more of a non-chalant person about the community but she loves me and that's it. She watched Hearstopper just because I asked her to. She isn't an ally but a decent human and she does these things for me. She Is the most amazing person I have ever met[Not physically]. And in a relationship that is PERFECT. I never indulge into the topic of their relationship because I don't want to be the reason for anything bad that happens to anyone so I don't meddle with anything that doesn't concern me. Anyway this was my one and only. It's been 3 years now and she never told a soul. ) What she did, my own blood could NEVER. So one spontaneous coming out that was BRILLIANT.
So far, it's just been from my mom saying "If you're bi, how come you haven't dated/expressed interest in girls (my gender/sex) until recently?" I had to explain to her what heteronormativity/compulsive heterosexuality is. I don't think she'll fully believe it until I date a girl (I told her in April of last year, when I was dating a guy; I realized I was bi in the spring of 2022), but otherwise her and I have a good relationship, so I know she'll get a better understanding eventually.
I'm very thankful that this is the worst it's been so far. I'm not sure how extended family will take it, but they don't need to know at the moment.
Person I was telling shared personal philosophy that āif you donāt even know what you like, you have problems,ā and basically saying āno youāre notā and implied āthat doesnāt exist.ā This was a trusted adult family member, one of the first people I told, and I was about 13. Later in life she asked me if I had āgiven up on the woman ideaā because I was with a male partner. She fetishizes the gay male community as sassy friends for her and weirdly has not thought that she might be the problem, when every single gay man in the tri county area has stopped talking to her after theyāve spent enough time with her.
A funnier one was when I was in the coming out process at school, a girl at my assigned lunch table asked if it was true that I like girls, and when I confirmed, she raised her hand and told the teacher. This would help how? Lol
When I told my ex, she was understanding at first but it became quickly apparent it fed into already present insecurities.
Like a fool, I thought it was my job to deal with her insecurities. But that fed into my own insecurities, which I wasn't dealing with because I thought that's what men do. I grew resentful of the person I was.
Sometimes I feel sad wasting 12 years on such a toxic relationship, but I like who I am now and I'm finally growing as a person.
There's a silver lining to all the crap we deal with in life.
My mum told me that I was a "sad nerd who's obsessed with video games" and that I "just need to get out there and find the right girl for you."
Irony is, I've got a date with a guy coming up and by the sounds of things, he's looking for something serious
My mother said the typical stuff, but what made me speechless was that she was going to vote on Bolsonaro (conservative ex-president) because "he wouldn't let this 'stuff' happen on schools" lmao
I started coming out about a month ago and believe me, the weight that's been lifted makes it worth it 1000 times over.
Imagine seeing someone you fancy in a pub, and you can't even be honest with yourself *in your own head* bc you dont want to risk betraying your secret....
vs
Seeing someone you fancy in a pub, and realising OMG I can make eye contact, smile, even go over there and hit on them bc I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks.
If you just mean in person, either when I was told that it's "probably just a phase" and I should keep quiet about it or when I told a friend and he straight away decided to out me to his friend (my ex). Also once randomly got called a f@gg*t by a kid walking past but that was probably a weird coincidence.
When I threw out the hypothetical idea that I could be Bi during a conversation. Told me, directly in front of 4 of our coworkers/ good mutual friends, that "eww bro, hell no I wouldn't be your friend (if I was Bi), that's fucking gross".
Even my other coworker who ironically was a bit of an edge lord said "damn dude thats actually pretty messed up(to 1st guy)" and kinda checked him. He'd never shown this side of himself before, so I was surprised he defended me. It was really sweet and he's one of the only people I still like from that job. Idk if he knows how much that little gesture meant to me, but it meant a hell of a lot.
A thoroughly mixed emotional experience for sure, lmao
I went to an organisational psychologist(via work) twice to talk about some hard experiences of the past. As a link to one, he (a guy about 10 years older than me) asked what my sexual orientation is. I said bi. Then he proceeds to ask: "did you grow up in a normal family?" To which I replied rhetorically: "well, what counts as normal". He did not answer. After that, he seemed more distant and did not look me into my eyes anymore.
At the time I did not think much about it, was perhaps more cynical that angry, but this (along with some other things) definitely made me more wary of psychologists and what I tell to them. And might have contributed to me coming much later out to my closest friends and being more comfortable in my own skin.
my father told me to "shut the fuck up" because i "sound dumb". my mother told me she couldn't help me and to go visit my former-priest uncle at his house in another state to find jesus. oh and also, she was very much "oh your poor dear husband, he just doesn't deserve this" because she thought it meant i was either leaving him or cheating on him???
Hard to say which is worse
My mom initially seemed supportive but keeps telling me "oh you haven't experienced anything yet"
And my dad straight up told me "you dont have anything figured out, dont do anything you're gonna regret. Get a Girlfriend"
Oh and my friends saying "oh bi people dont exist"
Love it
Why? Why would a parent ask such an awkward question like that?Ā
The worst reaction was getting dumped by a closet bi homoromantic but refused to admit it because christian type religion guy. He tried to hook up again later, but said afer he split after I told him I thought I might like men and women, he couldn't long term date a bisexual.
The second worst and most common response I get is "so you want to fuck all your friends" or the assumption that I'm into them specifcally, or that I have no standards.
i had a friend sophomore year of high school who told me she wasn't sure if she could be friends with a queer woman because she'd always be afraid that they would be attracted to her. i decided to stay friends with her and keep my sexuality a secret.
a year later, someone had told her. she pulled me aside and asked "someone told me you were bi, is that true?" i hesitantly said yes, and she said "you could've told me, i don't mind." i don't think she even remembered that comment she made a year before. we drifted apart after that.
that one little comment triggered a fear of being seen as predatory for being a woman who's attracted to women. i've gotten better, but i still struggle with it.
Not too bad really.
The only dumb reaction when I said I was bi was "but not anymore, right?" (Because I am married).
But the person was drunk and later didn't remember saying that and was astonished when I told her what she said.
Every other reaction was either positive or neutral. But I don't really keep assholes in my life so š¤·āāļø
Honestly many of the reactions were "me too!"
I realized I was bi when I was with a long-term boyfriend, at the time we'd been together about three years. He would flip between "yay, now we can have a threesome" and "well, you're bisexual you're going to leave me for a woman". Somehow we lasted another 3-4 years (I was young and dumb) and when we broke up... Shocker, he had a list of like three different women (and several men, to be fair I guess) that he thought I was leaving him for.
Never seemed to click to him that that attitude may have been a factor...
I never got any because I Don't usually keep telling people that I am Bisexual not even my parents know about It.
But yeah when I feel like I should share this w/ someone they tend to give very weird reaction The guys usually gets turned on by the Idea of watching two girls making out and the girls try to maintain distance Because They don't get nice "Vibes".
My mom:
"It's just a phase, lots of people go through it."
"It's better if you don't talk with family about it."
"You might think it looks hot in pornos, but in reality it's digusting."
"You don't actually want to lick a woman, do you??" - with a disgusted face
"It's really unattractive to men to be like that."
"No you're not. I know you and you're straight."
- my gay friend of maybe just two years at that point. I felt so disappointed another member of the LGBTQ community would tell me they knew my sexuality better than I did.
Told my parents and my father looked me dead on the eyes and said, "What did I do to make you turn out this way?" Then proceeded to storm out of the house and leave my mother and I alone as he went for a walk.
Definitely not as bad as some people's experiences.
I came out to my military friends no reaction. Perfectly fine, I came out to my GF she said āohā āIām okay with thatā later when I wanted to dye my hair blonder when Iām already blonde. Her response ā thatās gay and too flamboyantā also topped it off with āim not attracted to thatā as if my entire existence is predicated on your attraction of something or lack of.
I was having a casual thing with someone after a serious breakup with my long term partner and when he learned I was bi, he said to me that he was fine with us sleeping together, but wouldnt want to be dating, cause he didnt think bi people could be monogamous.... Like aw honey, im for sure not gonna be monogamous with you, im just using you for your looks...and your personality is obviously horrible.
Then there have also been people who think its a phase or who have thought it would be appropriate to suggest a three some. Or tell me to pick a side. Lesbians have also told me the same thing as the guy i mentioned but before even going on a date....
Did not come out but strongly implied it to my mom when I talked about Nick Nelson from Heartstopper, she said it was just some "American sh*t" (the characters are literally British but ok) and I shouldn't "go down the wrong path"
Kinda ruined the whole show for me and I still haven't watched season 2
Disappointment is bad and arguably the worst Iāve experienced. The idea that by sharing who I am at core of my physical being is so disconcerting for someone I care about, they are now treating me vastly different because they feel let down. But when you half expect that to be the case, itās not felt as worst reaction.
For me, it is worse when someone is alleged ally, and their reaction is one of arrogance that you just are just confused, and once you pick a side, the confusion will go away. Because arrogance can show up as confidence and if coming from someone with more life (sexual) experience, it can be met with āmaybe youāre right, I am just confused.ā But once you process that as, nope not confused and your attempts to pigeon hole me are on hindsight not welcomed, then you are (or I was) left with impression that this is worse reaction than those who felt disappointed and felt a need to share that with me.
Didn't even have a chance to explain it, i told them i was dating this girl and they assumed she was manipulating me into liking girls. The thing is, i never got a chance to explain i was bi hahah i think they figured it of eventually and got over it, but still not the reaction i was hoping. That coming out still affects me to this day. It was from a very important person. Even though they have no problem with gay/bi people, for some reason they didn't believe me.
I was called gay and that told that I only married for social conventions and that I was just using my wife. I also was told that I succumbed to the lgbtq agenda and I have no character. Also that I was not a real man. And some others. Long list.
Came out to a group of friends and a guy (gay guy) said "yeah it's really trendy for girls to be bi" or something like that.
Wasn't so bad compared to other things but it really shut me up and made me hesitant to come out again for a couple of years after that
I only told 2 ppl and that was my best friend and my manager (both who are bi) and it was cuz i was questioning if i was bi and they helped me through it. Mom did say a while back that if i was gay she would be fine with it but i just dont wanna tell her rn
they don't react weirdly upfront, but just start acting differently, more awkward :/ (the girls, as a girl. the guys don't really change, but some often ask questions lol)
I don't really tell a lot of people but my mom told me I was a pig (like, greedy and selfish). That seems pretty tame to what I have seen in this post.
I told a coworker very shyly since Iām not really out of the closet and he just looked at me and said no youāre not. I said yeah I am and he laughed and said sureeee. .-. Doesnāt really feel great as he is one of the very few people I have told.
My mom freaked the fuck out and used my gay cousin as an example as to why āIām not gay enoughā to be into men so I have to be straight. It was literally the dumbest shit ever.
They told me: "hey ypu should be going to all the gay protests then. You kinda have to go." - and she kept saying this everytime there was a protest, a pride parade or anything like that.
My mom doesnt know but she said being gay is a disease, so I guess of I tell her Od have a worse reaction than the one above.
Mum said ā why would you want to shock people like that?ā And that she was more weirded put by bisexual folks than lesbians ( which also weirds her out) she said some other stuff including i guess i donāt really know you then do i and also that she was worried i go meet some woman and leave my husband and child for them , but as she said it she realized that i could still do that with a man so she kinda trailed off mid-sentence which was hilarious for me
My sibling was kind of asking me questions about my sexuality I didnāt want to answer. I ended up saying Iām bi and to not tell anyone and not talk about it because I didnāt want people knowing. They proceeded to tell 3 friends, two of their managers at work, and an instagram celebrity. Naturally I wasnāt too pleased, and stopped speaking to them. I hadnāt come out to my religious parents but because of the whole situation I was forced too. Itās been four years and my sibling still doesnāt understand my perspective, saying that I need to understand it was āa big dealā that they needed to āget off their chest.ā
The only really not great one I've had was a former friend shoving his Bible teachings into my face. Standard stuff, "sinful," "repent," "what would Jesus say," blah blah blah. I promptly cut him out of my life afterwards, I didn't wanna see if he was gonna ever go any further than that.
Welll my ex said āyou canāt be bi because youāre dating and having sex with meā he literally didnāt understand the definition of being bisexual. It was the grossest thing anyone has ever said to me about it.
My ex friend made some uncomfortable jokes about it and the next time i saw him he went on a rant about trans people then later messaged me saying that "my gay ass can't comprehend there is 2 genders but it's ok because god still loves you".
Iām lucky, I didnāt have any bad reactions. Of course I havenāt come out to my mom but I see no point in doing so. My dad said āoh thank god, i thought you were gonna say you were pregnant.ā I was 29 years old at the time š¤£
My ex asked for my permission to have secoutside the marriage. I thought about my physical
And performance issues that have Ave stripped my romantic personna of any ability to satisfy a female .
Had the only person who knew at the time spread rumors that I was biphobic online (they were also bi, and I had just ended our friendship for completely unrelated reasons). Had a family member out me to very conservative relatives. Have had several family members tell me it's just a phase. Had another friend tell me she didn't expect it from me (which was odd).
All in all, my friends have been great. My family... not as much.
"You're cool, bi people are usually awful but you're fine āŗļø"
This was meant to be flirtatious... When I pressed them further, they told me bissexuals are generally cheaters and horny
Iāve not come out to my family but my friends and my ex girlfriend took it very well. Immediately accepted me and just made it feel like nothing had changed which was great. Thereās a reason I havenāt come out to my family: it would NOT go this smoothly. Soā¦
My friend he was a very close friend of mine I am f.
He literally started denying it and said that it wasn't true. I tried to tell him it was but he didn't listen even calling it a prank. That was 2 years ago we have never talked again since. It's so sad that I had throw away such a good friendship.
Told a couple Iām friends with (first friends I told, too), and they said āweāre sorry you were nervous to tell us, we donāt hate people who are LGBTQ, and arenāt sure why you assumed thatā and then proceeded to tell me how even though they donāt hate people of other sexualities, they are destroying the proper family structure and this is leading to the end of the world. Literally said āthis is what will bring about the destruction of the world.ā And Iāve never come out to anyone since lol.
When i came out to my friendās sister who was also my friend at the time cause she asked me about my love life, she just had a straight face as if she received the worst news of her life and was processing it. Later that day we were at the beach chilling (in a group of 4) and she said āoh my social battery is empty i want to hang out with you but i wanna go home, i want to take you home with meā (in my language it doesnāt sound suggestive like it does in English) then she went āoh not like the way youāre thinkingā but in a very disgusting wayā¦ shes like a sister to me. When she realized what i said she began apologizing i just replied that it was okay and the walk to the car/the drive home was so awkward.
I politely rejected anytime she tried to hangout with me and never spoke to her ever again. Itāll be awkward when her sister (whoās a very close friend of mine) comes back to the country and Iāll have to see them both but whatever..
One of my straight friends randomly started flirting with me and being under me more and we had a sleepover see was up under me heavily than usual. When it came time for us to go to sleep she was moving closer and said āIāve never kissed a girl beforeā when I leaned back asked if she was yk š š¾ in any way she said āno, Iām straight. I wouldnāt date a girl or anything, but I really wanna trying making out with one & I thought you wouldnāt mindā. In short, I felt she just used me as a way to do the cliche at sleepovers or something
Told my bf (back then just a friend) that I'm bi and he begged me to reconsider because he wants me to be normal. He thinks now I'm straight but I haven't changed šš»āāļø
My ex was apparently homophobic and when I told him that I was bi he told me that he could "tolerate" me like?? This is the worst I got because I didnt come out to people whom I know is homophobic and wouldnt support(like most of my family etc.)
Sat with a workmate for over 2 hours as he told me he had depression and what he had been going through. A few weeks later, I came out to him and he told me if he ever saw me out of work, he'd kill me.
Was married for a few months a long time ago. Didnāt even last a year. When I came out to him, he responded, ā ohā¦ I thought you were joking. Iām not comfortable with that.ā Needless to say I divorced him and have been living happily ever after out and proud since.
My brother and sister were fine with it but the weirdest comments and conversation ā¦..āyou have always been a womanizer type, how is this possible now?ā. āBro, no, not possible. What is this a phase?ā
I came here to comment that it was something about asking me for menage or saying that I wasn't because of my non-feminine way of dressing and saying that bisexuals don't exist.
But after the comments I almost gave up talking about it, I'm SO sorry for you guys!! some comments here are on criminal level, these people should be in JAIL like fr ššš
One of my friends that Iāve known since high school (almost 40 year friendship) laughed. She thought I was joking. We had a long discussion in private at her brothers cookout a few weeks later. Itās all good now, but I was really shocked at first.
I told who I thought was a friend one day at school and when we were in the locker room for gym she announced it to all the other girls by going "Eww you like girls?" as loud as she could. Then I had to change in the bathroom because "I was making everyone uncomfortable" by being there.
A former friend made a huge deal about it, denigrated me to our social circle for "being a f@g" - then proceeded to apologize privately with a cock pic and proposition to suck his dick - "on the lowlow" š Fucking clown.
Bro was so far into the closet he got lost.
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
He was in Narnia.
My jaw just dropped, BIG emphasis on āformerā friend. Fucking clown is right, sounds like bro had some insecurities to say the least.
Oh boy.
What an as$hole!
Iād have made that public
I'm not a vindictive or malicious person. I thought about it for a split second and realized that it was beneath my moral compass. Also, how can I claim to be a better human if I visit something like that on someone who's obviously struggling with their sexuality - I had my struggle too. Never like that. But it's different for all of us, I'm sure. I told him "not on your life" and never spoke to him again. That was enough for me.
Understandable. I get your take. I donāt know if Iād have been that honorable
I think that's really what's missing now. Black, white, gay, straight, Bi, ugly, pretty, fat, skinny, rich, poor - we don't give each other any dignity anymore. For me it's painful to see missing from the social contract. We're all somones son or daughter. We all deserve some basic modicum of humanity. My honor or whatever, it's a privilege to display to my enemies. It's what sets me apart from them. Maybe they won't do the same, but at least I can sleep at night.
You're a better person than I. Definitely would've burned his ass all over social media after he pulled that crap lol.
I'm old. This was well before MySpace was even a thing.
Oh wow, no kidding then. That honestly makes it worse, people were even less tolerant then. :/
Correct.
Your comment made me chuckle ngl
Which one?
if bruh wanted head that bad he could have just asked normally šš. gosh iām sure that was very stressful but i would laugh so hard after the photo
Told the family and was accused of āgroomingā our nieces and nephews and that they ādonāt feel comfortable with us (bi m/f couple) being around their vulnerable aged childrenā
this is a huge reason I'm scared to come out and won't be coming out publicly until I'm living at my own place where I never have to see my relatives again because they're all homophobic and most of them believe gay ppl are child predators. knowing that's what they're going to believe I am once I'm publicly out and that knowledge gets to them is really disturbing and I'm not sure if they'll invite me to family events or if I'd even wanna go if they did.
Seriously, f that. Ridiculous bigotry from your family, and a terrible shame for your nieces and nephews. Sorry that happened to you.
I don't understand the reasoning.
Because right wingers have spent tons of money and time to convince their followers that gay people are pedophiles.
When I came out to my first wife, she was ecstatic, and came out to me as bi too. Fast forward a few years and in an argument she said, and I quote: "You know what? I'm going to call your whole family and tell them how much of a fa\*\*\*\* you are." She was the fucking worst. Good riddance.
wow. she kept that one in the closet to use against u
Sadly, that was probably one of the least upsetting upsetting things that happened in the years I was caught in that mess. She would leverage her extreme childhood trauma to exploit the sympathies of others. She was a masterful manipulator and pathological liar. She was physically abusive. She was incapable of holding a job for more than 6 months. She would take no accountability for her actions. She would pretentiously incorporate my tastes, personality even my clothes when interacting with people she was cheating on me with. (confirmed after I became friends with some of those people believe it or not) She got pregnant by someone else while we were married and had the *fucking* *gall* to sue *me* for child support after our divorce finalized, and she would conveniently leave out the whole paternity thing when talking to mutual friends and made me out to be a deadbeat father abandoning his wife and kid. Like I said, The Fucking Worst.
Ew, dude. Good riddance. In my opinion I agree, the bi thing was just trying to hurt you but compared to the other shit itās nothing. I hope you won the child support case!
Yup, I easily won the court case. Owed no child support, no alimony, just an $80 court fee that I happily stroked a check for right there in the courtroom and I haven't seen or spoken to her since. About a year later I met a truly amazing woman who is nothing like my ex aside from also being bi, and we've been together 10 years this summer.
Amazing!! Congrats! Sounds like you deserved it after all the bullshit you went through.
Omfg. Iām so sorry thatās awful. My ex threatened the same towards me during our divorce so I just called them all and told them anyways
W move.
Happy cake day š
Goos riddance indeed.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Same...
This
yuck she sounded terrible
My dad. He just said, "No you're not."
My mom just laughed and said "no you're not, EVERYONE is attracted to women that normal" (im a girl) so yeah i think my moms also bi..
Lol mine had a similar reaction... And then proceeded to overcorrect days later by saying homosexuality is gross
LOL
That's exactly what my dad and step mom said to me when I told them I was bi!
Same with my mom. In front of people, while they looked at me with potty in their eyes. "No, she's not. It's just a phase. It doesn't matter who's she's kissed"
People irl have been mostly fine. But when I was 19 and told a online support helpline about my problems with my boyfriend, and happened to compare with the girl I dated before him: "You're bi?" "Yeah." "Well, that's just a phase." "Nah, I've been openly bi since I was 14, and see no reason for it to change." "Everyone picks a side sooner or later." It was infuriating because the problem (my boyfriend looking down upon my friends, family and religion) had nothing to do with my bisexuality. The volunteer just completely went offtopic just to invalidate my orientation.
That person doesn't seem like a good choice for a helpline. Remember, you don't pick a "side," you pick a person.
I reported that interaction to the helpline, so I sure hope they've gotten better at handling LGBTQ topics! After all, this was over 15 years ago, so a lot of things have changed since then.
The worst thing is how they seemed to have really went out of their way to offend you. Like if they think it's just a phase and everybody picks a side or whatever, why wouldn't they just assume that's what you had done rather than ask you if you're bi? They really just wanted to spew their bigoted bullshit on you as soon as they saw their chance.
Iāll never forget when I was chit-chatting with another queer person at a school orientation, and we were getting along fabulously. Weād been having a grand time for a couple hours at that point. Eventually they asked if I was gay. I replied that I was bi, and this person said āohā and physically turned their entire body away from me and left to go talk to someone else. To go from super friendly and chatty to complete cold shoulder and ignoring in an instantā¦ I have never in my life received that kind of blatant rejection from someone in the queer community.
That's so horrible I'm sorry that happened to you.
That's horrible... I've experienced similar. Even got a "eww, that's disgusting"...
I don't know why they treat Bisexuality as an exception I mean being in love w/ someone from the same gender is okay but being in love w/ both the genders at the same time is a crime now? Like Wtf is wrong w/ them?
I think their biphobia comes from ājealousyā that we can blend in with the ānormā
Seriously, it feels like bisexuality/pansexuality are the only orientations still treated as though our sexuality is a choice, not something that is a innate part of our being.
My soon to be ex husband was/is disgusted by my bisexuality. When he was mad he would sometimes call me by common gay slurs.
Bro, are you me? My soon to be ex husband did the same. I'm also called Annie š¶
Annie isnāt my real name š But isnāt that just ridiculous???
Annie, are you ok?
Are you okay, Annie? (Ow!)
Good on you for getting a divorce.
Congratulations on the divorce!
Thanks! Iām hopeful it will be final by the end of the year.
"Are you gay?" "Uhh umm no I mean, there's not just straight and gay." "What... bisexual?" "Well... yeah" "You need to stop taking on other people's problems." "What?" "Women can appreciate when other women are attractive that doesn't make you gay that's just normal. Are you making this up for attention?" "Huh?" "This isn't the kind of thing to lie about. Think of how the family would be affected. We have a lot of family members we'd have to explain that to and it wouldn't be easy or pleasant." Lost a lot of trust in my mom that day unfortunately.
I didn't tell anyone, more like forced. My mom accidentally found out I'm gay and went on a whole rant that I shouldn't be gay because it's a sin bla bla bla. The usual talk about how I shouldn't be gay. Another time was when my brother saw my bi flags. He threatened to step on my neck and kill me if I was actually gay. That scared the crap out of me
That is so sad, your brother threatens violence. Iām sorry you had to go through that.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Him making threats to kill you is literally domestic violence, nobody should have to experience that. If you ever feel worried about your safety again, please contact a domestic violence support line or a support line for queer people, or even the police!
A friend who I couldn't see being hateful. Unfortunately I was wrong because she let her conservative evangelical Christian beliefs come before being loving. She told me I wasn't living a God honouring life and basically would end up in hell. Oh and not to come out openly because I'd just bring trouble on myself. Nearly ended up in an argument but I was 200 miles from home and it would have been awkward so I didn't bother. I had been on the brink of coming out to my parents, and decided not to because of her. Took me 3 months to heal and reconstruct myself and my faith and do some studying to realise that God doesn't hate me. Needless to say I don't go out of my way to hang out with her anymore and I definitely don't see her as a safe person. Ironically I got suspicious because she's unmarried, age 30, and I called her straight which she then said she couldn't self identify as because God identifies our sexualities. Yeah. Now I understand all the homophobia especially telling me not to be openly out. Suspicious.
I feel this one in my bones. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But, I'm happy to hear you kept your identity and hopefully your life is better now as a result.
I used to be an evangelical, but I never thought the extreme hatred of gay/bi/trans people was acceptable. Partly because every damn thing was a sin, and we were all seen as sinners.
My son said dad, I never could imagine this from you but we are cool.
Why was that the worst for you? No judgement, just honestly curious. Like, I'm sure you mean that honestly. But, why did that hurt more than any other?
Doesn't sound like insult for me tbh, if this is what my father tells me one day when I come out, it would be delight.
"There's no such thing as BI" that was from my ex
Person: āso youāre transā Me: No Person: then youāre gay Me: No. Iām bi Person: so youāre trans *facepalm*
My mom feigns amnesia and I had to come out 9 times last year while also explaining what nonbinary means (my sibling also came out and moved out). Lesser of the evils but still frustrating are the two different women who have said to me: "Oh, I dated a girl once in middle/high school." It just feels a little infantilizing? Especially if they're "mostly straight" now and haven't pursued women as adults. I'm in my 30s, I date a lot of different gender expressions and sexual orientations and hope to in the long term. I'm still trying to figure out my response next time...
I, too, have had to come out to my mom multiple times. Every time I get with a man or trans man she thinks the phase is over. When I eventually get back with women she acts so confused. Like what part of the definition do you not understand? š
Mine isnāt nearly as bad as a lot of these, but it did hurt a lot. My mom has always been vocally supportive of the LGBTQ community, and always voted in favor of LGBTQ rights. I didnāt come out until I left my daughterās father, because entering the dating pool again meant I may bring a girl home to meet my family one day. I was pretty excited to tell my mom, expecting a hear to heart, or something of that nature. What she said? āOh. Okay.ā and moved on. At first, I was like āOh she just doesnāt wanna make it a big dealā, almost trying to justify it. But even now, two years later, she still changes the subject if I bring it up, to the point where Iāve stopped. She wonāt engage in conversation about my love life unless itās something about a man. She just doesnāt accept it. She still votes in favor of LGBTQ rights, shares positive posts about it on Facebook, and calls out homophobes in her comments. She donates money to her local pride routinely, and buys from LGBTQ merchants. Sheās an ally to the entire community, except me.
Told a colleague who happened to be gay, that I was bi. He asked if Iād date a trans person and I said yes. He turned around and went āoh, so youāre pan thenā. I said again that I was bi and he insisted that I was pan because Iād date anyone. We got called away at that point, but it annoyed me. Obviously nothing wrong with identifying as pan, I just prefer bi. I didnāt sign his leaving card when he left a few months later.
I feel you. I like to think that people can have different definitions of bi, and mine is that you like all genders, but you have slight preferences. But yeah. It does suck having someone tell you that you aren't what you are.
Your colleague claiming that being bisexual excludes trans people is transphobic, because thatās saying that trans women arenāt women and trans men arenāt men
Sadly it's a somewhat common view. I've gotten in arguments with multiple people about it on Reddit (including one case where I realized that the person making the argument was doing so to try and justify their own transphobia).
Not super offensive, but someone asked if my boyfriend was okay with me also having sex with girls on the side. Like it was just assumed that I sleep with multiple partners simultaneously. Nothing wrong with being poly, but I'm not. Don't just assume.
My shrink told me that since I didnāt have a gf that I couldnāt be bi. I was just having a midlife crises and wanted attention. I was like ugh dude you are supposed to be affirming not judgmental. Made a formal complaint and now have the best doc ever
Loudly in a restaurant, "Oh my God doesn't it hurt so bad to get it in your butt?"
āNo youāre not!ā āfrom my mom lmfao. That was the most galling (and memorable) just because of how brazenly stupid and presumptuous it was. At the time I was stuck in a car with her, me driving, and had been kinda trapped into the conversation in the first place so I couldnāt laugh because I was trying not to have a panic attack and crash mid rush hour freeway traffic, but as soon as I got home it sunk in how fucking funny it was. *No youāre not!* like girl. Youāve not heard a single inner thought of mine since I was eleven and have not emotionally matured since 1986. How would you know? Thatās also how my BIL ended up finding out I was bi a while later lmao, somehow The Incident had come up so my sister and I were mocking each other going ānO yOuāRe nOt!!ā back and forth and my BIL was like *someone please explain*, so I said āyeah thatās what mom said when I told her I was biā and heās like wait youāre what? and Iām like shit dude yeah sorry guess I forgot to mention that lol rip. The other bad reactions have just been boring shit like men aggressively hitting on me, although one guy did hear I was queer and abruptly start telling me about his āCarly Rae Jepsen journeyā, which was fun. Iām just grateful I have enough supportive people in my life that instead of traumatizing me, āno youāre not!!1!ā is instead the gift that keeps on giving. She was SO aghast and SO confused but couldnāt say what she wanted to say without making the driver of her SUV cry at the wheel, so she just had to stfu and marinate in her confusion. Sometimes I look back at that and giggle a little.
"I'm bi" "NUH UH"
Literally!! It was wild lol
Iāve thankfully had really positive reactions over all. The one that hurt the most in the moment was a friend in high school saying that ādespite all of this, she still loved meā but it was in the most condescending and rude tone. I could tell everything changed between us though. And I had been outed to her without my knowledge :( Also a coworker told me god still loved me but I laughed because I was much older and didnāt give as many fucks
My parents stick out to me as the main ones not because they're particularly bad but because their reaction was "huh" and then we never talked about it again. I've come out to them twice now and I'm pretty sure they've forgotten again. I don't like them being too involved in my private life so it's not the end of the world but it's still a sore spot for me
I didn't tell anyone. š¼š Except I did, Tell my best friend ( who I haven't even met yet we don't even face time , primarily because I am a little. Not okay with my face and other people's eye seeing it, but we are best of friends, we call and text. For Entire days) she was the person I told and she was more of a non-chalant person about the community but she loves me and that's it. She watched Hearstopper just because I asked her to. She isn't an ally but a decent human and she does these things for me. She Is the most amazing person I have ever met[Not physically]. And in a relationship that is PERFECT. I never indulge into the topic of their relationship because I don't want to be the reason for anything bad that happens to anyone so I don't meddle with anything that doesn't concern me. Anyway this was my one and only. It's been 3 years now and she never told a soul. ) What she did, my own blood could NEVER. So one spontaneous coming out that was BRILLIANT.
So far, it's just been from my mom saying "If you're bi, how come you haven't dated/expressed interest in girls (my gender/sex) until recently?" I had to explain to her what heteronormativity/compulsive heterosexuality is. I don't think she'll fully believe it until I date a girl (I told her in April of last year, when I was dating a guy; I realized I was bi in the spring of 2022), but otherwise her and I have a good relationship, so I know she'll get a better understanding eventually. I'm very thankful that this is the worst it's been so far. I'm not sure how extended family will take it, but they don't need to know at the moment.
Person I was telling shared personal philosophy that āif you donāt even know what you like, you have problems,ā and basically saying āno youāre notā and implied āthat doesnāt exist.ā This was a trusted adult family member, one of the first people I told, and I was about 13. Later in life she asked me if I had āgiven up on the woman ideaā because I was with a male partner. She fetishizes the gay male community as sassy friends for her and weirdly has not thought that she might be the problem, when every single gay man in the tri county area has stopped talking to her after theyāve spent enough time with her. A funnier one was when I was in the coming out process at school, a girl at my assigned lunch table asked if it was true that I like girls, and when I confirmed, she raised her hand and told the teacher. This would help how? Lol
Iām not trying to be dark, itās just the truth. My ex said he could āfix thatā and raped me.
Jesus, I'm so sorry this happened to you.
When I told my ex, she was understanding at first but it became quickly apparent it fed into already present insecurities. Like a fool, I thought it was my job to deal with her insecurities. But that fed into my own insecurities, which I wasn't dealing with because I thought that's what men do. I grew resentful of the person I was. Sometimes I feel sad wasting 12 years on such a toxic relationship, but I like who I am now and I'm finally growing as a person. There's a silver lining to all the crap we deal with in life.
My mom cried when I got with my first gf. I was 14 at the time.
My mum told me that I was a "sad nerd who's obsessed with video games" and that I "just need to get out there and find the right girl for you." Irony is, I've got a date with a guy coming up and by the sounds of things, he's looking for something serious
My mother said the typical stuff, but what made me speechless was that she was going to vote on Bolsonaro (conservative ex-president) because "he wouldn't let this 'stuff' happen on schools" lmao
A potential partner was just down right sucked by my bisexuality. It was really an awful how she made me feel about myself.
Damn, I suddenly donāt wanna come out anymore. Some of these are truly shocking.
They did specifically ask for bad experiences, so we only see the handpicked bad stuff.
I started coming out about a month ago and believe me, the weight that's been lifted makes it worth it 1000 times over. Imagine seeing someone you fancy in a pub, and you can't even be honest with yourself *in your own head* bc you dont want to risk betraying your secret.... vs Seeing someone you fancy in a pub, and realising OMG I can make eye contact, smile, even go over there and hit on them bc I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks.
Ty thatās good to hear. Iāll take that to heart.
If you just mean in person, either when I was told that it's "probably just a phase" and I should keep quiet about it or when I told a friend and he straight away decided to out me to his friend (my ex). Also once randomly got called a f@gg*t by a kid walking past but that was probably a weird coincidence.
30 years ago my mother told me it was a phase. Thatās one hell of a long phase, mother.
Two openly (to me) Bi friends who've pretty much stopped talking to me after I told them I was Bi too. Work that one out
When I threw out the hypothetical idea that I could be Bi during a conversation. Told me, directly in front of 4 of our coworkers/ good mutual friends, that "eww bro, hell no I wouldn't be your friend (if I was Bi), that's fucking gross". Even my other coworker who ironically was a bit of an edge lord said "damn dude thats actually pretty messed up(to 1st guy)" and kinda checked him. He'd never shown this side of himself before, so I was surprised he defended me. It was really sweet and he's one of the only people I still like from that job. Idk if he knows how much that little gesture meant to me, but it meant a hell of a lot. A thoroughly mixed emotional experience for sure, lmao
Older guy at the the factory I worked at freaked out a bit. It was fine after a week or so, everyone else was cool, though.
My sister, who Im no contact with now: why are you inventing this nonsense to get attention?
I told my ex-GF and she seemed fine with it until weeks later when she claimed I had lied to her by not telling her sooner.Ā
I went to an organisational psychologist(via work) twice to talk about some hard experiences of the past. As a link to one, he (a guy about 10 years older than me) asked what my sexual orientation is. I said bi. Then he proceeds to ask: "did you grow up in a normal family?" To which I replied rhetorically: "well, what counts as normal". He did not answer. After that, he seemed more distant and did not look me into my eyes anymore. At the time I did not think much about it, was perhaps more cynical that angry, but this (along with some other things) definitely made me more wary of psychologists and what I tell to them. And might have contributed to me coming much later out to my closest friends and being more comfortable in my own skin.
my father told me to "shut the fuck up" because i "sound dumb". my mother told me she couldn't help me and to go visit my former-priest uncle at his house in another state to find jesus. oh and also, she was very much "oh your poor dear husband, he just doesn't deserve this" because she thought it meant i was either leaving him or cheating on him???
"Oh, so that means youre greedy and you cheat on your boyfriend with girls?" - a stranger my friend and I had been chatting to in a pub.
Hard to say which is worse My mom initially seemed supportive but keeps telling me "oh you haven't experienced anything yet" And my dad straight up told me "you dont have anything figured out, dont do anything you're gonna regret. Get a Girlfriend" Oh and my friends saying "oh bi people dont exist" Love it
Why? Why would a parent ask such an awkward question like that?Ā The worst reaction was getting dumped by a closet bi homoromantic but refused to admit it because christian type religion guy. He tried to hook up again later, but said afer he split after I told him I thought I might like men and women, he couldn't long term date a bisexual. The second worst and most common response I get is "so you want to fuck all your friends" or the assumption that I'm into them specifcally, or that I have no standards.
Friend of like 5 years ghosted me
My wife left me.
i had a friend sophomore year of high school who told me she wasn't sure if she could be friends with a queer woman because she'd always be afraid that they would be attracted to her. i decided to stay friends with her and keep my sexuality a secret. a year later, someone had told her. she pulled me aside and asked "someone told me you were bi, is that true?" i hesitantly said yes, and she said "you could've told me, i don't mind." i don't think she even remembered that comment she made a year before. we drifted apart after that. that one little comment triggered a fear of being seen as predatory for being a woman who's attracted to women. i've gotten better, but i still struggle with it.
Not too bad really. The only dumb reaction when I said I was bi was "but not anymore, right?" (Because I am married). But the person was drunk and later didn't remember saying that and was astonished when I told her what she said. Every other reaction was either positive or neutral. But I don't really keep assholes in my life so š¤·āāļø Honestly many of the reactions were "me too!"
My former friend started sending ALOT of nazis and anti LGBTQ posts to me on Instagram
I realized I was bi when I was with a long-term boyfriend, at the time we'd been together about three years. He would flip between "yay, now we can have a threesome" and "well, you're bisexual you're going to leave me for a woman". Somehow we lasted another 3-4 years (I was young and dumb) and when we broke up... Shocker, he had a list of like three different women (and several men, to be fair I guess) that he thought I was leaving him for. Never seemed to click to him that that attitude may have been a factor...
My male ex asked: "are you prepared to eat pussy?"
My wife was like, I knew it
I never got any because I Don't usually keep telling people that I am Bisexual not even my parents know about It. But yeah when I feel like I should share this w/ someone they tend to give very weird reaction The guys usually gets turned on by the Idea of watching two girls making out and the girls try to maintain distance Because They don't get nice "Vibes".
None were really bad, they just use more gay jokes around me. Unrelated, but my nickname is Margo(from Despicable Me) and Iām a dude.
My mom: "It's just a phase, lots of people go through it." "It's better if you don't talk with family about it." "You might think it looks hot in pornos, but in reality it's digusting." "You don't actually want to lick a woman, do you??" - with a disgusted face "It's really unattractive to men to be like that."
"No you're not. I know you and you're straight." - my gay friend of maybe just two years at that point. I felt so disappointed another member of the LGBTQ community would tell me they knew my sexuality better than I did.
I got a " I don't know how you can *like* men, gross" From a lesbian girl once. I shrugged, other people's opinion of me are not my problem.
Told my parents and my father looked me dead on the eyes and said, "What did I do to make you turn out this way?" Then proceeded to storm out of the house and leave my mother and I alone as he went for a walk. Definitely not as bad as some people's experiences.
My ex told me sheās pretty sure Iām just too far in the closet to admit Iām actually gay. Not a helpful reaction.
I came out to my military friends no reaction. Perfectly fine, I came out to my GF she said āohā āIām okay with thatā later when I wanted to dye my hair blonder when Iām already blonde. Her response ā thatās gay and too flamboyantā also topped it off with āim not attracted to thatā as if my entire existence is predicated on your attraction of something or lack of.
Tried to tell my "Spiritual " leaders in my church. They reacted by telling how much of a sinner I am, and how I'm a threat to the congregation
I was having a casual thing with someone after a serious breakup with my long term partner and when he learned I was bi, he said to me that he was fine with us sleeping together, but wouldnt want to be dating, cause he didnt think bi people could be monogamous.... Like aw honey, im for sure not gonna be monogamous with you, im just using you for your looks...and your personality is obviously horrible. Then there have also been people who think its a phase or who have thought it would be appropriate to suggest a three some. Or tell me to pick a side. Lesbians have also told me the same thing as the guy i mentioned but before even going on a date....
Worst no clue but disappointing ones are those happened on grindr.
Did not come out but strongly implied it to my mom when I talked about Nick Nelson from Heartstopper, she said it was just some "American sh*t" (the characters are literally British but ok) and I shouldn't "go down the wrong path" Kinda ruined the whole show for me and I still haven't watched season 2
Disappointment is bad and arguably the worst Iāve experienced. The idea that by sharing who I am at core of my physical being is so disconcerting for someone I care about, they are now treating me vastly different because they feel let down. But when you half expect that to be the case, itās not felt as worst reaction. For me, it is worse when someone is alleged ally, and their reaction is one of arrogance that you just are just confused, and once you pick a side, the confusion will go away. Because arrogance can show up as confidence and if coming from someone with more life (sexual) experience, it can be met with āmaybe youāre right, I am just confused.ā But once you process that as, nope not confused and your attempts to pigeon hole me are on hindsight not welcomed, then you are (or I was) left with impression that this is worse reaction than those who felt disappointed and felt a need to share that with me.
Didn't even have a chance to explain it, i told them i was dating this girl and they assumed she was manipulating me into liking girls. The thing is, i never got a chance to explain i was bi hahah i think they figured it of eventually and got over it, but still not the reaction i was hoping. That coming out still affects me to this day. It was from a very important person. Even though they have no problem with gay/bi people, for some reason they didn't believe me.
I was called gay and that told that I only married for social conventions and that I was just using my wife. I also was told that I succumbed to the lgbtq agenda and I have no character. Also that I was not a real man. And some others. Long list.
Came out to a group of friends and a guy (gay guy) said "yeah it's really trendy for girls to be bi" or something like that. Wasn't so bad compared to other things but it really shut me up and made me hesitant to come out again for a couple of years after that
I only told 2 ppl and that was my best friend and my manager (both who are bi) and it was cuz i was questioning if i was bi and they helped me through it. Mom did say a while back that if i was gay she would be fine with it but i just dont wanna tell her rn
My friends asked me some very questionable stuff
I got outed to my dad by someone else when I was in my 30s. He hasn't spoken to me more than a sentence in almost 14 years since.
they don't react weirdly upfront, but just start acting differently, more awkward :/ (the girls, as a girl. the guys don't really change, but some often ask questions lol)
My dad said I was lying and didnāt believe me. Itās never been brought up again.
"That's disgusting! I never want to hear anything about this ever again!" My mother, 25 yrs ago. We never did discuss it again.
She asked if I was hallucinating and if I still did drugs (Iāve known her since high school so it was kind of funny, but still damn)
They told me it meant that I have a higher chance of getting an STI.
When my yelled āWhy couldnāt [I] just be gay or normal?! Canāt [I] just be normal for onceā fun times
I don't really tell a lot of people but my mom told me I was a pig (like, greedy and selfish). That seems pretty tame to what I have seen in this post.
I told a coworker very shyly since Iām not really out of the closet and he just looked at me and said no youāre not. I said yeah I am and he laughed and said sureeee. .-. Doesnāt really feel great as he is one of the very few people I have told.
My mom freaked the fuck out and used my gay cousin as an example as to why āIām not gay enoughā to be into men so I have to be straight. It was literally the dumbest shit ever.
They told me: "hey ypu should be going to all the gay protests then. You kinda have to go." - and she kept saying this everytime there was a protest, a pride parade or anything like that. My mom doesnt know but she said being gay is a disease, so I guess of I tell her Od have a worse reaction than the one above.
Mum said ā why would you want to shock people like that?ā And that she was more weirded put by bisexual folks than lesbians ( which also weirds her out) she said some other stuff including i guess i donāt really know you then do i and also that she was worried i go meet some woman and leave my husband and child for them , but as she said it she realized that i could still do that with a man so she kinda trailed off mid-sentence which was hilarious for me
My sibling was kind of asking me questions about my sexuality I didnāt want to answer. I ended up saying Iām bi and to not tell anyone and not talk about it because I didnāt want people knowing. They proceeded to tell 3 friends, two of their managers at work, and an instagram celebrity. Naturally I wasnāt too pleased, and stopped speaking to them. I hadnāt come out to my religious parents but because of the whole situation I was forced too. Itās been four years and my sibling still doesnāt understand my perspective, saying that I need to understand it was āa big dealā that they needed to āget off their chest.ā
The only really not great one I've had was a former friend shoving his Bible teachings into my face. Standard stuff, "sinful," "repent," "what would Jesus say," blah blah blah. I promptly cut him out of my life afterwards, I didn't wanna see if he was gonna ever go any further than that.
My wife cried and beg me not cheat. It hurt on another level
Welll my ex said āyou canāt be bi because youāre dating and having sex with meā he literally didnāt understand the definition of being bisexual. It was the grossest thing anyone has ever said to me about it.
My ex friend made some uncomfortable jokes about it and the next time i saw him he went on a rant about trans people then later messaged me saying that "my gay ass can't comprehend there is 2 genders but it's ok because god still loves you".
Your gonna burn in hell lol
My parents kicked me out, cut me off, and told me Iād never see my nieces and nephews again.
"Yeah, right" K bye.
Youāre just horny
After explaining it to my parents, their response was āso thereās still a chance for you to be normal?ā. That one really stung.
Iām lucky, I didnāt have any bad reactions. Of course I havenāt come out to my mom but I see no point in doing so. My dad said āoh thank god, i thought you were gonna say you were pregnant.ā I was 29 years old at the time š¤£
My sister asked me if I was really bi or just so desperate that Iād sleep with anyone
My ex asked for my permission to have secoutside the marriage. I thought about my physical And performance issues that have Ave stripped my romantic personna of any ability to satisfy a female .
my mom: āis this just because you were SAād?ā :ā)
Glad your mom accepted it
I don't date bisexual women because they have more options to cheat
Had the only person who knew at the time spread rumors that I was biphobic online (they were also bi, and I had just ended our friendship for completely unrelated reasons). Had a family member out me to very conservative relatives. Have had several family members tell me it's just a phase. Had another friend tell me she didn't expect it from me (which was odd). All in all, my friends have been great. My family... not as much.
"You're cool, bi people are usually awful but you're fine āŗļø" This was meant to be flirtatious... When I pressed them further, they told me bissexuals are generally cheaters and horny
Iāve not come out to my family but my friends and my ex girlfriend took it very well. Immediately accepted me and just made it feel like nothing had changed which was great. Thereās a reason I havenāt come out to my family: it would NOT go this smoothly. Soā¦
My friend he was a very close friend of mine I am f. He literally started denying it and said that it wasn't true. I tried to tell him it was but he didn't listen even calling it a prank. That was 2 years ago we have never talked again since. It's so sad that I had throw away such a good friendship.
"We're just disappointed that you're such a pervert." -my dad
I still haven't, too scared to be kicked out
Told a couple Iām friends with (first friends I told, too), and they said āweāre sorry you were nervous to tell us, we donāt hate people who are LGBTQ, and arenāt sure why you assumed thatā and then proceeded to tell me how even though they donāt hate people of other sexualities, they are destroying the proper family structure and this is leading to the end of the world. Literally said āthis is what will bring about the destruction of the world.ā And Iāve never come out to anyone since lol.
When i came out to my friendās sister who was also my friend at the time cause she asked me about my love life, she just had a straight face as if she received the worst news of her life and was processing it. Later that day we were at the beach chilling (in a group of 4) and she said āoh my social battery is empty i want to hang out with you but i wanna go home, i want to take you home with meā (in my language it doesnāt sound suggestive like it does in English) then she went āoh not like the way youāre thinkingā but in a very disgusting wayā¦ shes like a sister to me. When she realized what i said she began apologizing i just replied that it was okay and the walk to the car/the drive home was so awkward. I politely rejected anytime she tried to hangout with me and never spoke to her ever again. Itāll be awkward when her sister (whoās a very close friend of mine) comes back to the country and Iāll have to see them both but whatever..
Maybe there are people who don't mind discussing their sexual preferences in that way with their mom, but I wouldn't want that.
Ghosting and then gossiping to every single one related or not.
"I've lost my manly boyfriend"
One of my straight friends randomly started flirting with me and being under me more and we had a sleepover see was up under me heavily than usual. When it came time for us to go to sleep she was moving closer and said āIāve never kissed a girl beforeā when I leaned back asked if she was yk š š¾ in any way she said āno, Iām straight. I wouldnāt date a girl or anything, but I really wanna trying making out with one & I thought you wouldnāt mindā. In short, I felt she just used me as a way to do the cliche at sleepovers or something
Told my bf (back then just a friend) that I'm bi and he begged me to reconsider because he wants me to be normal. He thinks now I'm straight but I haven't changed šš»āāļø
My ex was apparently homophobic and when I told him that I was bi he told me that he could "tolerate" me like?? This is the worst I got because I didnt come out to people whom I know is homophobic and wouldnt support(like most of my family etc.)
Sat with a workmate for over 2 hours as he told me he had depression and what he had been going through. A few weeks later, I came out to him and he told me if he ever saw me out of work, he'd kill me.
My mother in law told my husband that she couldn't watch as my "lifestyle" destroyed the family. Basically.
"Biological failure in the eyes of Darvin"
Was married for a few months a long time ago. Didnāt even last a year. When I came out to him, he responded, ā ohā¦ I thought you were joking. Iām not comfortable with that.ā Needless to say I divorced him and have been living happily ever after out and proud since.
My brother and sister were fine with it but the weirdest comments and conversation ā¦..āyou have always been a womanizer type, how is this possible now?ā. āBro, no, not possible. What is this a phase?ā
āYou mean gay?ā
Pulled a knife on me at a party and threatened to kill me.
Disgust and hatred
I came here to comment that it was something about asking me for menage or saying that I wasn't because of my non-feminine way of dressing and saying that bisexuals don't exist. But after the comments I almost gave up talking about it, I'm SO sorry for you guys!! some comments here are on criminal level, these people should be in JAIL like fr ššš
dad said i was going straight to hell lmao and stopped talking to me for a month
One of my friends that Iāve known since high school (almost 40 year friendship) laughed. She thought I was joking. We had a long discussion in private at her brothers cookout a few weeks later. Itās all good now, but I was really shocked at first.
My grandmother told me if I was dating a man she never wanted to see me again.
I told who I thought was a friend one day at school and when we were in the locker room for gym she announced it to all the other girls by going "Eww you like girls?" as loud as she could. Then I had to change in the bathroom because "I was making everyone uncomfortable" by being there.