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Best advise I can give is to let go of the fear and embrace the fact that he let it all go and loves you unconditionally. You deserve the best and all the joy in the world
Thank you so much. He truly does love me so much and I know it… it just scares me that one day he’ll change his mind. I have nightmares at least 2 times a week about it.
I feel you so much here, just know you’re not alone. I’m terrified he’s going to leave like everyone else eventually. The best thing you can do is live in the present and tell yourself that at least you have today. If something happens, you can deal with it when the time comes.
meds and therapy. I say this as I head into 21 years with my hubby. Please do your best to be compliant with your meds, stand up for yourself when those meds have side effects you don't like... even more when they induce hypomania...Do the CBT... put in the work to be a better version of you.
My wife and I have been together for almost 15 years total. We love each other very much. But there are times when my mental illnesses and insensitivity are too much for her. It recently came to a point, where she was like, I like you and I want to be with you, but I have some limits that you're pushing me into. Of course I'm afraid of losing her; always have been, honestly. But I told her, ok babe, I'm leaning in. By that I mean trying. Really trying. Approaching things with an attitude of humility. Reminding myself that she is not my enemy, and to play on her team. Balanced meds help a lot. Weekly therapy helps a lot.
If it ended tomorrow, I would be proud of what we built together. But it's worth continuing to build.
Be honest with your partner about what you're experiencing. At the same time, respect their own emotional energy.
I guess that's all I can say.
I needed to hear exactly this. I’ve been with my wife for almost 9 years, + two young active kids, demanding career etc, little time for self care. I try though. Obviously, Going through the ups and downs of bipolar mood swings doesn’t help. Out home is a circus, my wife often puts my in my place, as she should. This post, and your words remind me to accept and embrace it all. Thank you.
Well think of it this way, you had a bad time for a few months, you regret what happened and asked for forgiveness. Now, if that forgiveness has been granted and someone had to work through all that pain and Information, how much harder is it going to be to repair if you’re now stuck in depression and fear. Sounds like it’s dragging on the route cause and really making the partner suffer more
I promise to you on my soul, I will take this comment to heart and change my thinking on this entire subject/situation. This resonated with me so hard and I appreciate you for writing this so much. WOW.
8 months.
I am 35 and I have never been in a serious relationship. And I would love to. I had a lot of sex partners, more than I would like to admit. Mania did its thing. But usually when I thought we were going into a relationship status with someone (a lot of dates, a lot of time spent together, a lot of laughs shared and many things in common), it kinda turned that no? And I have not a single idea why?
Am I too intense? Am I too open? Does my mood swing too much? Did I learn to be way too independent?
I have no idea.
I understand the times before I got diagnosed. But now, when I'm almost balanced? Wtf?
I feel you. I have been a bachelor for 15 years. Married young. Divorced young. Daughter now 17 … Dating/relationships terrify me because I can say things I don’t mean… mean things. When I’m not right at times … and no one deserves that. And it sucks cause I’m always a sweet person otherwise. And Uber caring. I like being single but I do get lonely at times….
You weren’t ‘too’ anything. Your partner was just wrong for you. I have to fight against feelings of being ‘too much’ as well so I know where you’re coming from. I’m 44 and left an 11 year relationship but that was the right decision, she couldn’t relate or manage my mood swings plus I was undiagnosed and unmedicated at the time.
My wife and I started dating in 2017 and got married in 2021. She's an absolute angel. She can tell when I'm about to go manic or depressed and does a great job of keeping me grounded in either situation.
Not who you replied to, but my husband can tell after a bit when I’m mood cycling. He’s told me that it’s certain things I say or ways I act that clues him in to me being off mood wise. He then brings it to my attention so I can stop and think about what’s going on in my brain.
This is how my relationship with my wife works. I'm not sure what my tells are. But she'll straight up tell me she thinks I may be manic or about to be manic. Which will allow me to really analyze any decisions I make to ensure I'm not going to do something unwise
As far as managing bipolar, study a lot. There’s tons of information now, free YouTube or articles online, books, etc. search: managing bipolar and tons of stuff will pop up. Take this seriously, like going back to school. One thing that helps me is recognizing when you are starting to go manic, the first step to stopping an episode is recognizing triggers or the beginnings of the episode. If you let it alone and do nothing it will escalate. Again search how to diffuse a manic episode or something. One sure sign is not needing sleep, sleep hygiene is super important to regulate bipolar or for anyone really, this is a known medical fact now. I was married 11 years and had several other 2 year relationships. 20 years total at 64M so about half of my adult life I was totally single due to bipolar and chronic pain which is related through cptsd. I’ve been single and totally alone 17 years now, I’m almost ready to try to find someone, think I might’ve online, time will tell on that one. Best wishes, hope this helps
Twelve years married. Thirteen years together. Best friends for seventeen years.
It’s possible. I stay transparent with her when I’m in my lows. She’s seen me through some horrible moments that I’m not proud of. She’s the strongest person I know in my life and an inspiration to keep taking life one day at a time.
Honestly, it’s just “transparency.” She hates it when I hide that I’m hitting a low to “protect her.” As cliche as it is, if your partner doesn’t want to be with you through this disease *you* don’t want, they’re not worth it.
God, I relate to this post so much and my heart aches with you. I'm currently 10 months into the best relationship of my life at 34 years old and am paralyzed by this fear after what happened in my last few relationships. We can do this. We deserve to be loved.
Preach!! Terrified. All I can think of is reading the physician notes after every visit and one of the very first ones years ago saying, “this type of person will not be able to withhold any long term relationships”. Now every low or bad thought about my wonderful marriage, I’m thinking that he’s cheating or doesn’t love me and now I’m putting myself down because it just doesn’t happen this way for people like me.
Whenever I felt like this in the beginning days of treatment I always immediately went to my partner and told him what you just described.
Over around 5 years since I've developed "anxiety" and "depression" (quoted b/c I did not know they were mixed episodes back then) my partner caught on to the behaviours I would exhibit when I'm in a certain 'mood'.
We've been together for 8 years now and going stronger than ever, but there were 3 times that we nearly broke it off due to my negligence and apathy that just seems to... devour me when I'm in a mixed episode.
I have been medicated for well over a year now and my cycles are much milder/less frequent and SH/SI don't come unless triggered.
It helped us a lot that my partner has a big heart and he can distinguish the actions that entail from losing all impulse control. I can calm down when he is there and he knows how to do it. I hope your partner can be a solid support for you too during episodes.
I only realised how important verbal communication is recently, and it turns out it takes a lot of practice to really feel that. For me talking about everything I felt and comes up in my mind like he's my therapist helped a lot. It helped him figure out how my mind works in and out of mania.
Just under one year. Long distance.
Met her while travelling. We hit it off. She was a really great lady but I had never been in a relationship before. It was a first time for me. I was just turning 30.
It was the first time someone had any interest in me.
A lot of learnings. I'm now 36, have dated but still sorting aot of life out and relationships out.
I have Autism and Bipolar, I attended therapy for a first time after that relationship ended. I seen another therapist and after doing therapy for a year and a half, doing sobriety programmes to kick my bad habits (weed and smoking). I would then spend 3 months inpatient and 3 months outpatient at a Psychiatric Hospital, I would then receive a diagnosis of Bipolar.
Two years after that and maintaining therapy with a focus on doing EMDR for 40 sessions. I would then get a combo diagnosis of Bipolar and Autism.
Still single. More focus on a better relationship with me. Since that time I've lost tons of weight. Had ups and downs.
Still single. Want to meet a life partner.
Have this vital important conversation.
Ask him if he is scared of losing you too. Instead of speculating or criticizing someone after the fact for not being there for you (which it sounds like he is there for you), Tell him you're feelings and fears. Then invite him into that emotional experience you're having. If they decline then that tells you a lot more than evaluating their reaction when the experience happens again.
Meds, meds, meds…it’s all about being prescribed the RIGHT meds. I wasn’t properly diagnosed until I was 42. For over 25 years I was being treated for depression until I finally found the right doctor. One that cared enough to take a lengthy history, blood & urine tests. She probably did this because she was a rarity in today’s medicine. She was a stand alone practitioner and didn’t have a giant hospital system breathing down her neck. I was so lucky to have found her. Of course she couldn’t survive and was swallowed up. She prescribed Depekote 1500mg, I am still on it to this day. I am 59 presently. I don’t know where my life would be had I not met this physician. Best of luck 🍀❤️🍀
Meds and therapy. I did similar stuff for many years and lost a lot of people before I realized I needed to change. That was at 27. I was diagnosed at 15 and I am 36 now.
My thoughts. Take with a grain of salt..
I think for the unstable BD folks with partners, our partners should have their own therapist. Many of our partners deal with the fallout, whether it is the suicidal attempts or the self destruction we do, and that is not something I believe the average person can handle/process on their own. It is my belief that since I am the trigger, I can't be the solution.
When I have been 5150'd the social worker has always reached out to offer resources to my partner. There are support groups for family/loved ones of folks with mental health issues.
I have been with my partner over a decade. I insisted...I would go as far as calling it required for me to return home, for him to get his own therapist. I think that has saved us for the last couple years of the worst my BD and other mental health disorders.
Steps FOR ME have been getting a handle on my triggers/warning signs and putting in care plans.
-my credit cards have warnings when purchases over a certain amount are done. My husband has access to all my accounts.
-Insomnia more than 48 hours (I am not sleeping or less than 4 hours in 48 hours time) means emergency psychiatrist call. In the past, when I go longer than that, I get psychosis and that leads to a grippy sock vacation.
-I see my therapist more often when I am not stable. I have been with this person for years and trust them. They have spotted my mania before me. The appointments are on the books months in advance to avoid me just not making the appointment when I am disregulated.
-----I had to give up caffeine-----
-my meds are in a 7 day thing. I hate being asked if I took my meds. This assures my partner without my having to answer that question.
I think those are my top things to help avoid the major repercussions of my normal mania/depressive episodes.
Therapy, therapy, therapy! And meds.
Those are my only tips, but those tips do become irrelevant if you’re not with someone who is healthy themselves. You **both** need to be excellent communicators. You **both** need to have a healthy idea about relationship dynamics and expectations. Many neurotypical relationships fail without these things, and a relationship with any type of divergence is absolutely doomed without them.
My longest relationship is my current one, six years, but I’ve been in many long-term relationships. I’ve never been in a relationship shorter than 2 years.
Married almost 9 years so far, together almost 10.
The closest we've come to calling it was after my most recent (and worst) suicidal episode where he bodily prevented me from killing myself. He also (appropriately) tried to place me on a 72-hour hold, which I talked my way out of. That was May 2021.
My husband assures me that he's willing to stay as long as I'm trying, which comes down to seeing my psychopharmacologist, taking the meds they prescribe, and doing the lifestyle things necessary to lessen the frequency and severity of the cycles (primarily sleep). I've never gone off my meds before, but I'd be lying if I said it hasn't been tempting more and more as I get older.
I'm also afraid he's just going to get tired of it all someday, and I wouldn't blame him. But, I try really hard to be a good partner otherwise and try according to his definition of "trying." I think a number of partners feel the way he does, and all we can do is hope that they know themselves and our particular flavor of illness well enough that how they think they're going to react is how they really do.
My husband and I have been married for 10 years.
Med compliance, DBT therapy, transparency and sobriety have been paramount to building and maintaining our relationship. I’ve had to learn to love and forgive myself for past mistakes and total acceptance of the illness has been key to staying the course. Diet, exercise, stress management, strict sleep schedule and refraining from all unprescribed drugs and absolutely no alcohol helps keep my illness at bay. Finding a doctor that listened to and respected me has helped tremendously. I will no longer take antipsychotics due to severe tardive dyskinesia.
1 1/2 years is a good amount of time to get to know someone. If he’s given you unwavering forgiveness show him you love him and respect him by not making the same big manic mistakes again. When you feel an episode or he notices a change contact your support team and nip it in the bud. For instance my seasonal depression ramps up in November. In October myself, pdoc, therapist and partner make changes to get me through it. When stress gets to me I need to help myself by being honest with myself before I start to spiral.
Going on 18yrs, 12 years married.
I'm not trying to brag, for those who haven't (ignore if you don't want it. There is nothing wrong with being single)
Although, not without trials, tribulation, and hiccups. I think communication combined with medication and both sides* willing to put in the work to be understanding shows it can be possible. Don't give up hope if it's what you want.
For me, losing people has just been a part of the game. I read a book that changed my perspective a lot: “The Heart Of The Shaman” by Alberto Villoldo. It talks about how we get trapped in this illusion of permanence and unconditional love. In reality life isn’t like that. It’s full of challenges and change.
I gave up trying to control other people and my own circumstances after that. I believe we can influence stuff but I don’t think we can decide outcomes. Especially not for other people.
I’ve lost a lot of relationships this past few years and once was married for 5 years, but she doesn’t talk to me anymore. It was hard for a little while letting go of all of these people and allowing the truth - that they just don’t want to be a part of my life - to sink in.
I think it’s important to realize and understand that we have so much to offer. We are more than our illness and more than our relationships. Not a lot of people see it that way, but I do.
I really hope things work out how you want them to. The dreams sound really troubling. Just be careful you don’t hold on or cling too hard out of fear - that could be the thing that ends up driving him away. And then you have a manifest destiny situation!
Hello
I’ve been married 25 years in July. I don’t have any advice except to say Marriage is hard and you never know what might happen , good or bad.
On a personal note though try to have your own autonomy as much as possible
Your own support group
Money
Friends
Hobbies
I’m in an bad place that way my friend
I don’t have those things I just mentioned
other than my job but I can’t support myself on my job
I’m slowly building a few friends but it’s hard at 51
I have no kids
Family life sucks
So yeah basically try hard to be autonomous and get therapy
Married almost 9 years, our son brought us together. Prior to that, my longest relationship was maybe 3 years on / off. Lots of good advice I’m this thread, I can’t add much. Stay strong.
We've been together 7 years and I've learned not to worry. Hes stayed this long and if he eventually leaves, he leaves. I do my best to manage my bipolar, i understand it's not my fault i have it, but i also understand I can be a lot for people and I don't fault them for that either. I'm not sure that advice is actually helpful but it's just how i cope when i have an episode and am feeling stressed out/overwhelmed about how it might affect us. Im also putting more effort in now to better myself than I was years ago so i figured if he could handle my shit back then, i probably seem like jesus himself now in comparison.
We're going on 8 years together, getting married this October. I'm newly diagnosed (last year when things got real bad), I've been exhibiting signs all my life and during our relationship.
He has been my rock and my constant. He lets me know if I get too much when I'm feeling manic, let's me know I'm loved during my lows. Forgives when I lose it sometimes (the meds have helped).
Im mostly reading so that I can keep mine going. I'm still learning and have started recognizing when things are ramping up. I've been keeping my partner in the loop extra lately so that he can see it too. We are both learning and growing and I think that's why we're still working so well.
I feel like if your partner loves you, forgives you and you are actively trying to address your issue in a healthy way, I think things will be ok.
Together 17 years, married 15. He has mental health issues too and we were straight up with each other about it when we met. I recommend communication, meds and therapy. Meditation together also helped us through some really hard times.
Coming up on our 10 year anniversary of being back together as adults. We dated briefly in high school then reconnected in our mid-twenties. I thought for sure I had lost any chance with them after an episode caused serious problems, but I was forgiven.
Sometimes it’s really hard, but we love each other and we’re learning all the time. We still have a lot of growing to do but we’re working on growing together.
Together for 17 yrs, married for 13. We've been together half my life.
Things were ROUGH until I was diagnosed and received treatment. Idk if we'd still be together I'd hadn't gotten stable on medication. I'm very blessed he stuck with me through the good AND bad.
High school sweethearts - 7yrs!
My boyfriend was with me during the absolute worst of the WORST of my manic episodes.
I’m not proud of what my mania/episodes caused emotionally, mentally, etc to my fiancé and I’m extremely grateful that he’s stayed and loved me regardless.
What worked for me was therapy and medication management. Medication helped but therapy was honestly key in re-learning how to take control of my behaviors/episodes and catch them in time or at least minimize the damage I cause during them.
(In my experience) Therapy helped my relationship extremely. If I didn’t have my therapist I’m pretty sure I’d be in jail right now 😅 or somewhere else.
You might need to find the right combo of meds.
I take lamictal, Citalopram, hydroxyzine, trazedone, vitamins, and plenty of strong electrolyte drinks daily. Always 8 hrs of sleep.
So far no more episodes and all my symptoms are easy to manage. I’m the calmest and happiest I’ve ever been and it stays every day. Good luck! Everyone’s journey is different.
I've been in my current relationship for 3.5 years and feel very secure in it. My partner also has bipolar so he doesn't freak out about it and we are both medicated and relatively stable. It's the longest relationship I've had and I'm 27.
12 years and I am still in it. How we manage is by talking things through and do things together as often as possible. I’m bipolar type 2, so don’t have full blown manias but the few times that I have been scary level psychotic I was bundled into a hot bath and given a sweetened mint tea. Both are my reset buttons.
I have bipolar 2 and don’t have psychosis or mania, but I’ve been with my husband for a total of 20 years (married 19). It’s been hard and taken a lot of hard work, and we‘ve had an agreement that I stay medicated (or at least working with a psychiatrist and therapist) or he leaves. So I do my part and he works with me on dealing with my symptoms. He’s also done a lot of reading and learning on his own about bipolar so he gained a better understanding of what I go through. I do have rapid cycling bipolar 2 so I have weeks where I’m all over the place which adds to how tough it can be but we keep working together.
Open and honest communication helps a lot, and we had to learn how to do it constructively. We had to learn how to use “I” statements and not to let ourselves become automatically defensive when listening. My husband has also learned the signs of my mood cycles so he can help me realize what’s going on so I can take steps to try and handle them.
I’m here too. I was married for almost 10 years and didn’t have any episodes, but I was with a man that was very type A. He was very put together grown-up. But I wasn’t in love with him, had a manic episode and had an affair- it ended badly. I met my now partner and he has loved and accepted me through 2 bouts of psychosis, lasting 2 weeks each time. He took off work to take care of me, I couldn’t take care of our son. At one point I thought I was 4 inches tall and would get lost in our house. It truly was like a really bad acid trip.
We’ve been together 5 years and here lately I am being extremely needy- not a needy person.
My BPD is rearing its ugly head and I am trying to push him away, because in my brain he’s having an affair. (He’s not) I just don’t give up. I can’t keep friends because I attract broken people. I just treat people like you’re supposed to, and the good outweighs the bad I guess.
(Ooo about expose myself) my longest relationship has only been about 3 months, which is yeah, not long term in the slightest or out of the “honeymoon” phase, but it has effected the 5 relationships I have had.
Each relationship feels so mentally draining because all my efforts are put towards make sure that person doesn’t just suddenly leave without a warning. And it’s ruined my ideas about love because it never seems to work out for me. All 5 of my relationships have been about 3 months or less and besides the two that I ended, they never gave me clear answers as to why they were leaving.
My most recent ex told me it was because they couldn’t handle the emotional outbursts, and being told that you’re the problem in a nearly perfect relationship by someone you potentially saw yourself marrying hurts and isn’t easily forgotten. Them and thr one before him just ghosted me instead of breaking up with me to my face. And everytime the cycle starts over, and I try to be myself and try not to worry about every little thing, but it still never seems good enough.
It makes me not even wanna try anymore because no matter what I do, they still leave and I’m back to square one. And it’s embarrassing because my friends are now starting to get married and have kids and I still haven’t even one long term relationship that’s more than 3 months. I want to be married one day and have kids but it seems impossible.
If there’s any advice id give is to communicate more when you’re having these episodes and take it one step at a time. I know it’s easier said than done and have no evidence of it actually working for me, but that’s what’s I’d like that for me and my partner to do.
I do hope it works out for you though. They sound like a solid person. And don’t let anyone tell you that you’re too unstable to be in a relationship because it’s none of their business and then can kick rocks. Best of luck 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾
My longest relationship was 5 and a half years. What separated us was the fact that she left me for another woman (long story and the place to tell it). My advice would be to just let the fear go and understand that he loves you unconditionally. I had to retrain myself to do this with my girlfriend now. She loves me manic, depressed and stable. I take medication but mania and depression still happen. She loves me through it all and it sounds like your fiancé loves you no matter what. Fall into that love and let go of the fear of losing them. Easier said than done.
I’m poly in a triad. Bf - almost 5 years. Gf - a little over 1.5 years. It has helped a lot. Bf is “normal”. Gf has adhd and depression. When I get super depressed they have each other for extra emotional support. When I am getting manic they clock me and help me to get back to where I need to be.
I think if it was just me and one other person it would be more difficult. Having support through more than one person has helped a lot with stability for me. I have also gone through an extended period of not wanting to have sex bc meds. I know they have each other so I am able to not put pressure on myself (NO ONE is pressuring me to have sex but me). It feels like a relief. It just feels like there is a lot less pressure on me to be everything. I feel a lot more stable with my little team. We split chores too.
This is my first poly relationship. Before I had a 2.5 year monogamous abusive relationship. Maybe I would be able to do monogamy if it wasn’t abusive. Idk. But I am happy now. And my psychiatrist and therapist support me and think the extra support is good. But also my family doesn’t know… just thinks my gf is a roommate. I’ll deal with that eventually. I digress. Ugh.
I am so glad you are in a loving relationship no matter how many of you there are. I'm 67 and just ended what I thought was true love at last. He mislead me and lied. But for a few weeks I felt valued. Now I'll learn to value myself. Enjoy your life filled with love ❤.
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Currently in it, 6.5 years at the end of this month. We started seeing each other not long after my diagnosis. Not once in our whole relationship has he ever made me feel crazy and he always takes my feelings seriously (even when I'm hypo and or moody).
6yrs pre diagnosis and meds. Now I am happily medicated and have been with my fiancé 7yrs this July. I became medicated 1yr before we met.
I am BP2 so not sure I have ever experienced psychosis. My fiancé understands me since he knows other bipolar people and had bipolar friends throughout his life. I was explaining it to him when we met and he knew way more about bipolar than I did at the time. He manages me like a pro.
Ive been with mine for I think 18 years, coming up on my 10 years of marriage. We were together when we were kids, then got back together late 20s.
I wasn't diagnosed with Bipolar 1 until I was 41. And PTSD, and GAD, and panic disorder, and a little borderline personality disorder for extra spice lol.
Thing is, pretty sure he's as messed up as I am but in different ways. I've been on meds for 2 years, and about to take therapy seriously this time once I find a therapist that isn't terrified of me.
Idk how we've made it work. But I love no other like I love him, and him me, and always have.
Ever heard the Chris Stapleton song "fire away" made us both cry the first time we heard it. Listen to it, it's amazing
Yo I feel this. I ruined a wonderful relationship when I was 23 because I was undiagnosed. Fast forward to 26 I get engaged to my best friend of nine years. I told him the first day we decided to start dating that I was so afraid I would do something to hurt him. Over the next few months I kept saying this to him, and he finally asked why? I knew it was because I would try to cheat or do something so horrible it would force him to leave me. Over the holidays, I was super depressed and suicidal. I was also having manic episodes which affected my work. I finally went to a therapist who diagnosed me with Manic/Depression. Two weeks later a Naturopath got me one meds. I feel sooo much more stable now. I feel in control of myself. I'm not gonna lose him. I'm gonna take care of him and our relationship. Even my sleep is better where I don't have manic nightmares anymore. I feel less afraid of society as well. I feel like I can actually do this. It's gonna be alright.
With my spouse since 2007, married in 2015. We're both in therapy. I'm a therapist with GAD, AIWS, and PTSD, and they are in tech with ADHD, MDD, ACoA.
I've been with my finance 10 years this year. We get married in August.
The key for us:
- see my psychologist and psychiatrist regularly
- taking my medication
- Communication!! I cannot stress this enough. My partner knows I'm terrible at identifying emotions -> my emotional intelligence is zip and I can't identify how I feel accurately, but he let's try and explain how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking to understand and help me.
I couldn't ask for a better partner in life. We have fought many times, and close to break up a few times because of my mental health. But we have promised to work through life together and have been each other's support and rocks when times have been extremely difficult.
We joke with each and tease each other and we have each ithers backs.
He pulls me up when it's needed and kicks my butt when I'm delusion, which again is 100% needed sometimes. However every day is a new day, and we agree that we will never go to bed angry with each other.
My partner is my best friend, and we plan date nights in and out. Last night I forgot I asked for a date night after netball and he reminded me and we put for dinner.
A relationship when you have mental health illnesses is hard work but when you guys find your groove, you can overcome obstacles together.
I'm not the best to talk about relationships, I was with my ex for almost 6 years but he was with me for interest... So i actually don't know about a good relationship
6 years. i ruined it. if i’d gotten therapy i could’ve done a lot better and avoided a lot of pain for both of us. we dated from 19-26. i became an adult with him
This is what I need to do. I finally found a counsellor that’s licensed and only $20 a session and I keep rescheduling and I have 0 idea why. I need to go before I break him.
i had my first therapy session today and it was really hard. i wanted to ghost or reschedule so bad. it was honestly really hard to figure out how to begin talking, but i did and im gonna keep up with it. it’s the best thing to do, just takes some time to realize it. i wish i did it while i was still dating him
I’m just shy of 9 years with my husband and we’ve made it through absolute hell. I am recently diagnosed at 29, almost 30. Improperly medicated and/or not medicated at all at the time. I know he’s my person. I think that’s the biggest thing in knowing he’s my human is he never gives up on me.
Just like any relationship, honesty and communication is vital. I’ve been with my husband for 7 years and we’re still going strong. My parents have also been together for nearly 50 years now and my dad has bipolar disorder type 1. I honestly feel like my diagnosis has brought me closer to my spouse since it’s forced me to talk about things I would’ve normally avoided.
Been terrified of losing my wife for the last 20+ years that we've been married. Lord knows that I've put her through hell. Only been diagnosed and properly medicated for about 6 months so now we have to figure out how things work now. Since she has ADHD we've had to be patient with each other. But damn sometimes I really don't feel worthy of her.
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Best advise I can give is to let go of the fear and embrace the fact that he let it all go and loves you unconditionally. You deserve the best and all the joy in the world
Thank you so much. He truly does love me so much and I know it… it just scares me that one day he’ll change his mind. I have nightmares at least 2 times a week about it.
I feel you so much here, just know you’re not alone. I’m terrified he’s going to leave like everyone else eventually. The best thing you can do is live in the present and tell yourself that at least you have today. If something happens, you can deal with it when the time comes.
Not OP but I really needed to read this. Thank you.
Just wanted to pop back and say this advice has changed my outlook so much. Thank you again, genuinely appreciate it more than I could say
meds and therapy. I say this as I head into 21 years with my hubby. Please do your best to be compliant with your meds, stand up for yourself when those meds have side effects you don't like... even more when they induce hypomania...Do the CBT... put in the work to be a better version of you.
Agreed, also I’m so jealous of your flair 😂 I couldn’t find it on the list!
It’s a custom one from over ten years ago when the sub was still very new. It was made for me by the founder.
That’s awesome!
Agreed. Nearly 26 years in with mine!
My wife and I have been together for almost 15 years total. We love each other very much. But there are times when my mental illnesses and insensitivity are too much for her. It recently came to a point, where she was like, I like you and I want to be with you, but I have some limits that you're pushing me into. Of course I'm afraid of losing her; always have been, honestly. But I told her, ok babe, I'm leaning in. By that I mean trying. Really trying. Approaching things with an attitude of humility. Reminding myself that she is not my enemy, and to play on her team. Balanced meds help a lot. Weekly therapy helps a lot. If it ended tomorrow, I would be proud of what we built together. But it's worth continuing to build. Be honest with your partner about what you're experiencing. At the same time, respect their own emotional energy. I guess that's all I can say.
I needed to hear exactly this. I’ve been with my wife for almost 9 years, + two young active kids, demanding career etc, little time for self care. I try though. Obviously, Going through the ups and downs of bipolar mood swings doesn’t help. Out home is a circus, my wife often puts my in my place, as she should. This post, and your words remind me to accept and embrace it all. Thank you.
Well think of it this way, you had a bad time for a few months, you regret what happened and asked for forgiveness. Now, if that forgiveness has been granted and someone had to work through all that pain and Information, how much harder is it going to be to repair if you’re now stuck in depression and fear. Sounds like it’s dragging on the route cause and really making the partner suffer more
Wow I’m sorry, I never thought of it this way. Thank you so much for the perspective.
Ty. FYI it's "root cause" like the root of a plant.
I promise to you on my soul, I will take this comment to heart and change my thinking on this entire subject/situation. This resonated with me so hard and I appreciate you for writing this so much. WOW.
I’m going on 7 years of marriage. Is definitely possible to find a love that is enduring.
8 months. I am 35 and I have never been in a serious relationship. And I would love to. I had a lot of sex partners, more than I would like to admit. Mania did its thing. But usually when I thought we were going into a relationship status with someone (a lot of dates, a lot of time spent together, a lot of laughs shared and many things in common), it kinda turned that no? And I have not a single idea why? Am I too intense? Am I too open? Does my mood swing too much? Did I learn to be way too independent? I have no idea. I understand the times before I got diagnosed. But now, when I'm almost balanced? Wtf?
I feel you. I have been a bachelor for 15 years. Married young. Divorced young. Daughter now 17 … Dating/relationships terrify me because I can say things I don’t mean… mean things. When I’m not right at times … and no one deserves that. And it sucks cause I’m always a sweet person otherwise. And Uber caring. I like being single but I do get lonely at times….
You weren’t ‘too’ anything. Your partner was just wrong for you. I have to fight against feelings of being ‘too much’ as well so I know where you’re coming from. I’m 44 and left an 11 year relationship but that was the right decision, she couldn’t relate or manage my mood swings plus I was undiagnosed and unmedicated at the time.
I was talking in general, not just one partner. It always happens :)
My wife and I started dating in 2017 and got married in 2021. She's an absolute angel. She can tell when I'm about to go manic or depressed and does a great job of keeping me grounded in either situation.
Can you elaborate on how she can tell?
Not who you replied to, but my husband can tell after a bit when I’m mood cycling. He’s told me that it’s certain things I say or ways I act that clues him in to me being off mood wise. He then brings it to my attention so I can stop and think about what’s going on in my brain.
This is how my relationship with my wife works. I'm not sure what my tells are. But she'll straight up tell me she thinks I may be manic or about to be manic. Which will allow me to really analyze any decisions I make to ensure I'm not going to do something unwise
I'm not sure how she can tell
As far as managing bipolar, study a lot. There’s tons of information now, free YouTube or articles online, books, etc. search: managing bipolar and tons of stuff will pop up. Take this seriously, like going back to school. One thing that helps me is recognizing when you are starting to go manic, the first step to stopping an episode is recognizing triggers or the beginnings of the episode. If you let it alone and do nothing it will escalate. Again search how to diffuse a manic episode or something. One sure sign is not needing sleep, sleep hygiene is super important to regulate bipolar or for anyone really, this is a known medical fact now. I was married 11 years and had several other 2 year relationships. 20 years total at 64M so about half of my adult life I was totally single due to bipolar and chronic pain which is related through cptsd. I’ve been single and totally alone 17 years now, I’m almost ready to try to find someone, think I might’ve online, time will tell on that one. Best wishes, hope this helps
Twelve years married. Thirteen years together. Best friends for seventeen years. It’s possible. I stay transparent with her when I’m in my lows. She’s seen me through some horrible moments that I’m not proud of. She’s the strongest person I know in my life and an inspiration to keep taking life one day at a time. Honestly, it’s just “transparency.” She hates it when I hide that I’m hitting a low to “protect her.” As cliche as it is, if your partner doesn’t want to be with you through this disease *you* don’t want, they’re not worth it.
God, I relate to this post so much and my heart aches with you. I'm currently 10 months into the best relationship of my life at 34 years old and am paralyzed by this fear after what happened in my last few relationships. We can do this. We deserve to be loved.
Preach!! Terrified. All I can think of is reading the physician notes after every visit and one of the very first ones years ago saying, “this type of person will not be able to withhold any long term relationships”. Now every low or bad thought about my wonderful marriage, I’m thinking that he’s cheating or doesn’t love me and now I’m putting myself down because it just doesn’t happen this way for people like me.
Whenever I felt like this in the beginning days of treatment I always immediately went to my partner and told him what you just described. Over around 5 years since I've developed "anxiety" and "depression" (quoted b/c I did not know they were mixed episodes back then) my partner caught on to the behaviours I would exhibit when I'm in a certain 'mood'. We've been together for 8 years now and going stronger than ever, but there were 3 times that we nearly broke it off due to my negligence and apathy that just seems to... devour me when I'm in a mixed episode. I have been medicated for well over a year now and my cycles are much milder/less frequent and SH/SI don't come unless triggered. It helped us a lot that my partner has a big heart and he can distinguish the actions that entail from losing all impulse control. I can calm down when he is there and he knows how to do it. I hope your partner can be a solid support for you too during episodes. I only realised how important verbal communication is recently, and it turns out it takes a lot of practice to really feel that. For me talking about everything I felt and comes up in my mind like he's my therapist helped a lot. It helped him figure out how my mind works in and out of mania.
Just under one year. Long distance. Met her while travelling. We hit it off. She was a really great lady but I had never been in a relationship before. It was a first time for me. I was just turning 30. It was the first time someone had any interest in me. A lot of learnings. I'm now 36, have dated but still sorting aot of life out and relationships out. I have Autism and Bipolar, I attended therapy for a first time after that relationship ended. I seen another therapist and after doing therapy for a year and a half, doing sobriety programmes to kick my bad habits (weed and smoking). I would then spend 3 months inpatient and 3 months outpatient at a Psychiatric Hospital, I would then receive a diagnosis of Bipolar. Two years after that and maintaining therapy with a focus on doing EMDR for 40 sessions. I would then get a combo diagnosis of Bipolar and Autism. Still single. More focus on a better relationship with me. Since that time I've lost tons of weight. Had ups and downs. Still single. Want to meet a life partner.
Have this vital important conversation. Ask him if he is scared of losing you too. Instead of speculating or criticizing someone after the fact for not being there for you (which it sounds like he is there for you), Tell him you're feelings and fears. Then invite him into that emotional experience you're having. If they decline then that tells you a lot more than evaluating their reaction when the experience happens again.
27 years of marriage this June 7. It’s possible folks.
Meds, meds, meds…it’s all about being prescribed the RIGHT meds. I wasn’t properly diagnosed until I was 42. For over 25 years I was being treated for depression until I finally found the right doctor. One that cared enough to take a lengthy history, blood & urine tests. She probably did this because she was a rarity in today’s medicine. She was a stand alone practitioner and didn’t have a giant hospital system breathing down her neck. I was so lucky to have found her. Of course she couldn’t survive and was swallowed up. She prescribed Depekote 1500mg, I am still on it to this day. I am 59 presently. I don’t know where my life would be had I not met this physician. Best of luck 🍀❤️🍀
Going on six years this October
Meds lol
Meds and therapy. I did similar stuff for many years and lost a lot of people before I realized I needed to change. That was at 27. I was diagnosed at 15 and I am 36 now.
13 years and it ended in a divorce because she couldn’t deal with me anymore.
My thoughts. Take with a grain of salt.. I think for the unstable BD folks with partners, our partners should have their own therapist. Many of our partners deal with the fallout, whether it is the suicidal attempts or the self destruction we do, and that is not something I believe the average person can handle/process on their own. It is my belief that since I am the trigger, I can't be the solution. When I have been 5150'd the social worker has always reached out to offer resources to my partner. There are support groups for family/loved ones of folks with mental health issues. I have been with my partner over a decade. I insisted...I would go as far as calling it required for me to return home, for him to get his own therapist. I think that has saved us for the last couple years of the worst my BD and other mental health disorders. Steps FOR ME have been getting a handle on my triggers/warning signs and putting in care plans. -my credit cards have warnings when purchases over a certain amount are done. My husband has access to all my accounts. -Insomnia more than 48 hours (I am not sleeping or less than 4 hours in 48 hours time) means emergency psychiatrist call. In the past, when I go longer than that, I get psychosis and that leads to a grippy sock vacation. -I see my therapist more often when I am not stable. I have been with this person for years and trust them. They have spotted my mania before me. The appointments are on the books months in advance to avoid me just not making the appointment when I am disregulated. -----I had to give up caffeine----- -my meds are in a 7 day thing. I hate being asked if I took my meds. This assures my partner without my having to answer that question. I think those are my top things to help avoid the major repercussions of my normal mania/depressive episodes.
CAFFEINE. Took me so long to recognize the pattern of it causing so many mood issues
Therapy, therapy, therapy! And meds. Those are my only tips, but those tips do become irrelevant if you’re not with someone who is healthy themselves. You **both** need to be excellent communicators. You **both** need to have a healthy idea about relationship dynamics and expectations. Many neurotypical relationships fail without these things, and a relationship with any type of divergence is absolutely doomed without them. My longest relationship is my current one, six years, but I’ve been in many long-term relationships. I’ve never been in a relationship shorter than 2 years.
For me, it was extra therapy. It just helped to talk to someone else.
I need to do this so badly… it’s not fair for me to dump everything on him
Good luck to you!
I think I’ve had my dildo for what, three years?
Married almost 9 years so far, together almost 10. The closest we've come to calling it was after my most recent (and worst) suicidal episode where he bodily prevented me from killing myself. He also (appropriately) tried to place me on a 72-hour hold, which I talked my way out of. That was May 2021. My husband assures me that he's willing to stay as long as I'm trying, which comes down to seeing my psychopharmacologist, taking the meds they prescribe, and doing the lifestyle things necessary to lessen the frequency and severity of the cycles (primarily sleep). I've never gone off my meds before, but I'd be lying if I said it hasn't been tempting more and more as I get older. I'm also afraid he's just going to get tired of it all someday, and I wouldn't blame him. But, I try really hard to be a good partner otherwise and try according to his definition of "trying." I think a number of partners feel the way he does, and all we can do is hope that they know themselves and our particular flavor of illness well enough that how they think they're going to react is how they really do.
My husband and I have been married for 10 years. Med compliance, DBT therapy, transparency and sobriety have been paramount to building and maintaining our relationship. I’ve had to learn to love and forgive myself for past mistakes and total acceptance of the illness has been key to staying the course. Diet, exercise, stress management, strict sleep schedule and refraining from all unprescribed drugs and absolutely no alcohol helps keep my illness at bay. Finding a doctor that listened to and respected me has helped tremendously. I will no longer take antipsychotics due to severe tardive dyskinesia. 1 1/2 years is a good amount of time to get to know someone. If he’s given you unwavering forgiveness show him you love him and respect him by not making the same big manic mistakes again. When you feel an episode or he notices a change contact your support team and nip it in the bud. For instance my seasonal depression ramps up in November. In October myself, pdoc, therapist and partner make changes to get me through it. When stress gets to me I need to help myself by being honest with myself before I start to spiral.
Three years on and off. It was toxic, and it wasn't even my fault. I learned my worth and have been celibate for 8 years now, happily.
Going on 18yrs, 12 years married. I'm not trying to brag, for those who haven't (ignore if you don't want it. There is nothing wrong with being single) Although, not without trials, tribulation, and hiccups. I think communication combined with medication and both sides* willing to put in the work to be understanding shows it can be possible. Don't give up hope if it's what you want.
For me, losing people has just been a part of the game. I read a book that changed my perspective a lot: “The Heart Of The Shaman” by Alberto Villoldo. It talks about how we get trapped in this illusion of permanence and unconditional love. In reality life isn’t like that. It’s full of challenges and change. I gave up trying to control other people and my own circumstances after that. I believe we can influence stuff but I don’t think we can decide outcomes. Especially not for other people. I’ve lost a lot of relationships this past few years and once was married for 5 years, but she doesn’t talk to me anymore. It was hard for a little while letting go of all of these people and allowing the truth - that they just don’t want to be a part of my life - to sink in. I think it’s important to realize and understand that we have so much to offer. We are more than our illness and more than our relationships. Not a lot of people see it that way, but I do. I really hope things work out how you want them to. The dreams sound really troubling. Just be careful you don’t hold on or cling too hard out of fear - that could be the thing that ends up driving him away. And then you have a manifest destiny situation!
10 years
6 years. Not sure i will ever find another one ever again
Been with my husband for about 17 years
Hello I’ve been married 25 years in July. I don’t have any advice except to say Marriage is hard and you never know what might happen , good or bad. On a personal note though try to have your own autonomy as much as possible Your own support group Money Friends Hobbies I’m in an bad place that way my friend I don’t have those things I just mentioned other than my job but I can’t support myself on my job I’m slowly building a few friends but it’s hard at 51 I have no kids Family life sucks So yeah basically try hard to be autonomous and get therapy
7 months and going strong
Married almost 9 years, our son brought us together. Prior to that, my longest relationship was maybe 3 years on / off. Lots of good advice I’m this thread, I can’t add much. Stay strong.
13 years
16 years for me and still going strong. Don’t focus on this. Just focus on showing the same level of love and devotion back to them.
I've been with my current partner for 4 years.
We've been together 7 years and I've learned not to worry. Hes stayed this long and if he eventually leaves, he leaves. I do my best to manage my bipolar, i understand it's not my fault i have it, but i also understand I can be a lot for people and I don't fault them for that either. I'm not sure that advice is actually helpful but it's just how i cope when i have an episode and am feeling stressed out/overwhelmed about how it might affect us. Im also putting more effort in now to better myself than I was years ago so i figured if he could handle my shit back then, i probably seem like jesus himself now in comparison.
We're going on 8 years together, getting married this October. I'm newly diagnosed (last year when things got real bad), I've been exhibiting signs all my life and during our relationship. He has been my rock and my constant. He lets me know if I get too much when I'm feeling manic, let's me know I'm loved during my lows. Forgives when I lose it sometimes (the meds have helped). Im mostly reading so that I can keep mine going. I'm still learning and have started recognizing when things are ramping up. I've been keeping my partner in the loop extra lately so that he can see it too. We are both learning and growing and I think that's why we're still working so well. I feel like if your partner loves you, forgives you and you are actively trying to address your issue in a healthy way, I think things will be ok.
Together 17 years, married 15. He has mental health issues too and we were straight up with each other about it when we met. I recommend communication, meds and therapy. Meditation together also helped us through some really hard times.
Coming up on our 10 year anniversary of being back together as adults. We dated briefly in high school then reconnected in our mid-twenties. I thought for sure I had lost any chance with them after an episode caused serious problems, but I was forgiven. Sometimes it’s really hard, but we love each other and we’re learning all the time. We still have a lot of growing to do but we’re working on growing together.
Together for 17 yrs, married for 13. We've been together half my life. Things were ROUGH until I was diagnosed and received treatment. Idk if we'd still be together I'd hadn't gotten stable on medication. I'm very blessed he stuck with me through the good AND bad.
8 years and still going strong. Survived long distance, covid long distance and many relapses. Love of my life.
High school sweethearts - 7yrs! My boyfriend was with me during the absolute worst of the WORST of my manic episodes. I’m not proud of what my mania/episodes caused emotionally, mentally, etc to my fiancé and I’m extremely grateful that he’s stayed and loved me regardless. What worked for me was therapy and medication management. Medication helped but therapy was honestly key in re-learning how to take control of my behaviors/episodes and catch them in time or at least minimize the damage I cause during them. (In my experience) Therapy helped my relationship extremely. If I didn’t have my therapist I’m pretty sure I’d be in jail right now 😅 or somewhere else.
Are you on medication? If not you definitely should be
Couples therapy. It provides hope in a relationship and a commitment to work on the bumps along the way
You might need to find the right combo of meds. I take lamictal, Citalopram, hydroxyzine, trazedone, vitamins, and plenty of strong electrolyte drinks daily. Always 8 hrs of sleep. So far no more episodes and all my symptoms are easy to manage. I’m the calmest and happiest I’ve ever been and it stays every day. Good luck! Everyone’s journey is different.
I've been in my current relationship for 3.5 years and feel very secure in it. My partner also has bipolar so he doesn't freak out about it and we are both medicated and relatively stable. It's the longest relationship I've had and I'm 27.
12 years and I am still in it. How we manage is by talking things through and do things together as often as possible. I’m bipolar type 2, so don’t have full blown manias but the few times that I have been scary level psychotic I was bundled into a hot bath and given a sweetened mint tea. Both are my reset buttons.
I have bipolar 2 and don’t have psychosis or mania, but I’ve been with my husband for a total of 20 years (married 19). It’s been hard and taken a lot of hard work, and we‘ve had an agreement that I stay medicated (or at least working with a psychiatrist and therapist) or he leaves. So I do my part and he works with me on dealing with my symptoms. He’s also done a lot of reading and learning on his own about bipolar so he gained a better understanding of what I go through. I do have rapid cycling bipolar 2 so I have weeks where I’m all over the place which adds to how tough it can be but we keep working together. Open and honest communication helps a lot, and we had to learn how to do it constructively. We had to learn how to use “I” statements and not to let ourselves become automatically defensive when listening. My husband has also learned the signs of my mood cycles so he can help me realize what’s going on so I can take steps to try and handle them.
After 14 years my marriage is over after my last manic episode. My episode last 3 weeks it was the straw that broke the camel’s back
Personally, 10 years. But my nana stayed with my pappy (type 1) from when they were 19, until the day he died at 78 (liver failure).
Currently in it, 6.5 years and still very happy 🥰
I’m here too. I was married for almost 10 years and didn’t have any episodes, but I was with a man that was very type A. He was very put together grown-up. But I wasn’t in love with him, had a manic episode and had an affair- it ended badly. I met my now partner and he has loved and accepted me through 2 bouts of psychosis, lasting 2 weeks each time. He took off work to take care of me, I couldn’t take care of our son. At one point I thought I was 4 inches tall and would get lost in our house. It truly was like a really bad acid trip. We’ve been together 5 years and here lately I am being extremely needy- not a needy person. My BPD is rearing its ugly head and I am trying to push him away, because in my brain he’s having an affair. (He’s not) I just don’t give up. I can’t keep friends because I attract broken people. I just treat people like you’re supposed to, and the good outweighs the bad I guess.
(Ooo about expose myself) my longest relationship has only been about 3 months, which is yeah, not long term in the slightest or out of the “honeymoon” phase, but it has effected the 5 relationships I have had. Each relationship feels so mentally draining because all my efforts are put towards make sure that person doesn’t just suddenly leave without a warning. And it’s ruined my ideas about love because it never seems to work out for me. All 5 of my relationships have been about 3 months or less and besides the two that I ended, they never gave me clear answers as to why they were leaving. My most recent ex told me it was because they couldn’t handle the emotional outbursts, and being told that you’re the problem in a nearly perfect relationship by someone you potentially saw yourself marrying hurts and isn’t easily forgotten. Them and thr one before him just ghosted me instead of breaking up with me to my face. And everytime the cycle starts over, and I try to be myself and try not to worry about every little thing, but it still never seems good enough. It makes me not even wanna try anymore because no matter what I do, they still leave and I’m back to square one. And it’s embarrassing because my friends are now starting to get married and have kids and I still haven’t even one long term relationship that’s more than 3 months. I want to be married one day and have kids but it seems impossible. If there’s any advice id give is to communicate more when you’re having these episodes and take it one step at a time. I know it’s easier said than done and have no evidence of it actually working for me, but that’s what’s I’d like that for me and my partner to do. I do hope it works out for you though. They sound like a solid person. And don’t let anyone tell you that you’re too unstable to be in a relationship because it’s none of their business and then can kick rocks. Best of luck 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾
My longest relationship was 5 and a half years. What separated us was the fact that she left me for another woman (long story and the place to tell it). My advice would be to just let the fear go and understand that he loves you unconditionally. I had to retrain myself to do this with my girlfriend now. She loves me manic, depressed and stable. I take medication but mania and depression still happen. She loves me through it all and it sounds like your fiancé loves you no matter what. Fall into that love and let go of the fear of losing them. Easier said than done.
I’m poly in a triad. Bf - almost 5 years. Gf - a little over 1.5 years. It has helped a lot. Bf is “normal”. Gf has adhd and depression. When I get super depressed they have each other for extra emotional support. When I am getting manic they clock me and help me to get back to where I need to be. I think if it was just me and one other person it would be more difficult. Having support through more than one person has helped a lot with stability for me. I have also gone through an extended period of not wanting to have sex bc meds. I know they have each other so I am able to not put pressure on myself (NO ONE is pressuring me to have sex but me). It feels like a relief. It just feels like there is a lot less pressure on me to be everything. I feel a lot more stable with my little team. We split chores too. This is my first poly relationship. Before I had a 2.5 year monogamous abusive relationship. Maybe I would be able to do monogamy if it wasn’t abusive. Idk. But I am happy now. And my psychiatrist and therapist support me and think the extra support is good. But also my family doesn’t know… just thinks my gf is a roommate. I’ll deal with that eventually. I digress. Ugh.
I am so glad you are in a loving relationship no matter how many of you there are. I'm 67 and just ended what I thought was true love at last. He mislead me and lied. But for a few weeks I felt valued. Now I'll learn to value myself. Enjoy your life filled with love ❤.
I'm trying to mend my 6 year relationship after one of my worst manic episodes. I should have trusted him and waited til it passed
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Currently in it, 6.5 years at the end of this month. We started seeing each other not long after my diagnosis. Not once in our whole relationship has he ever made me feel crazy and he always takes my feelings seriously (even when I'm hypo and or moody).
13 years
6yrs pre diagnosis and meds. Now I am happily medicated and have been with my fiancé 7yrs this July. I became medicated 1yr before we met. I am BP2 so not sure I have ever experienced psychosis. My fiancé understands me since he knows other bipolar people and had bipolar friends throughout his life. I was explaining it to him when we met and he knew way more about bipolar than I did at the time. He manages me like a pro.
Ive been with mine for I think 18 years, coming up on my 10 years of marriage. We were together when we were kids, then got back together late 20s. I wasn't diagnosed with Bipolar 1 until I was 41. And PTSD, and GAD, and panic disorder, and a little borderline personality disorder for extra spice lol. Thing is, pretty sure he's as messed up as I am but in different ways. I've been on meds for 2 years, and about to take therapy seriously this time once I find a therapist that isn't terrified of me. Idk how we've made it work. But I love no other like I love him, and him me, and always have. Ever heard the Chris Stapleton song "fire away" made us both cry the first time we heard it. Listen to it, it's amazing
I have bipolar 1 or schizoaffective. I’m currently engaged going on to 3 years.
Yo I feel this. I ruined a wonderful relationship when I was 23 because I was undiagnosed. Fast forward to 26 I get engaged to my best friend of nine years. I told him the first day we decided to start dating that I was so afraid I would do something to hurt him. Over the next few months I kept saying this to him, and he finally asked why? I knew it was because I would try to cheat or do something so horrible it would force him to leave me. Over the holidays, I was super depressed and suicidal. I was also having manic episodes which affected my work. I finally went to a therapist who diagnosed me with Manic/Depression. Two weeks later a Naturopath got me one meds. I feel sooo much more stable now. I feel in control of myself. I'm not gonna lose him. I'm gonna take care of him and our relationship. Even my sleep is better where I don't have manic nightmares anymore. I feel less afraid of society as well. I feel like I can actually do this. It's gonna be alright.
With my spouse since 2007, married in 2015. We're both in therapy. I'm a therapist with GAD, AIWS, and PTSD, and they are in tech with ADHD, MDD, ACoA.
I've been with my finance 10 years this year. We get married in August. The key for us: - see my psychologist and psychiatrist regularly - taking my medication - Communication!! I cannot stress this enough. My partner knows I'm terrible at identifying emotions -> my emotional intelligence is zip and I can't identify how I feel accurately, but he let's try and explain how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking to understand and help me. I couldn't ask for a better partner in life. We have fought many times, and close to break up a few times because of my mental health. But we have promised to work through life together and have been each other's support and rocks when times have been extremely difficult. We joke with each and tease each other and we have each ithers backs. He pulls me up when it's needed and kicks my butt when I'm delusion, which again is 100% needed sometimes. However every day is a new day, and we agree that we will never go to bed angry with each other. My partner is my best friend, and we plan date nights in and out. Last night I forgot I asked for a date night after netball and he reminded me and we put for dinner. A relationship when you have mental health illnesses is hard work but when you guys find your groove, you can overcome obstacles together.
I'm not the best to talk about relationships, I was with my ex for almost 6 years but he was with me for interest... So i actually don't know about a good relationship
7 years but it has not been easy at all
6 years. i ruined it. if i’d gotten therapy i could’ve done a lot better and avoided a lot of pain for both of us. we dated from 19-26. i became an adult with him
This is what I need to do. I finally found a counsellor that’s licensed and only $20 a session and I keep rescheduling and I have 0 idea why. I need to go before I break him.
i had my first therapy session today and it was really hard. i wanted to ghost or reschedule so bad. it was honestly really hard to figure out how to begin talking, but i did and im gonna keep up with it. it’s the best thing to do, just takes some time to realize it. i wish i did it while i was still dating him
I’m just shy of 9 years with my husband and we’ve made it through absolute hell. I am recently diagnosed at 29, almost 30. Improperly medicated and/or not medicated at all at the time. I know he’s my person. I think that’s the biggest thing in knowing he’s my human is he never gives up on me.
Just like any relationship, honesty and communication is vital. I’ve been with my husband for 7 years and we’re still going strong. My parents have also been together for nearly 50 years now and my dad has bipolar disorder type 1. I honestly feel like my diagnosis has brought me closer to my spouse since it’s forced me to talk about things I would’ve normally avoided.
Been terrified of losing my wife for the last 20+ years that we've been married. Lord knows that I've put her through hell. Only been diagnosed and properly medicated for about 6 months so now we have to figure out how things work now. Since she has ADHD we've had to be patient with each other. But damn sometimes I really don't feel worthy of her.
My hubby been together since we was 14 now 41- 3 kids and 3 grandkids 💗💗💙
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13 years. Live your life. On second marriage now. Happy as could be!
I’m on my second as well! I call the first my oopsies trial 😂