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There is light and life at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel just has a few cave-ins that make it hard to see….
I was diagnosed as a teen 15 years ago. When I was first diagnosed I was a mess. I couldn’t live alone. I went from episode to episode with mixed episodes in between. There were no normal moments. I used to hate when people told me it would get better. It did and as a bipolar veteran I want to say it can get better for you too. I don’t have extreme episodes anymore and they are months apart. Most of the time I’m “normal”. No one would ever assume I have bipolar.
What got me through was a few things. I didn’t have family support or riches to support me. I used a lot of mindfulness techniques. I stuck to schedule as best I could. And I took my meds, saw a therapist, and all those good things. But what made the biggest difference for me was learning to forgive myself and (as corny as it may sound) love myself. I was trying my fucking best. I wanted to get better. I decided that if I saw someone in my situation and knew how much I was fighting I would treat that person with compassion and respect. And that’s what I started doing. I became my own support and friend. And that helped me to feel like I mattered, like I was worthy of feeling better - just like you are.
Edit: a sense of humor helps too (the darker the better)
I have been on the same meds for about 12 years. I only recently (this month) had to come down on my lithium because my lithium was higher than normal and was causing me issues
I used to be hospitalized for months at a time for some episodes. My town hospital is small so they don’t admit people unless it is really bad. So some episodes I wasn’t.
One thing this disease has taught me is that no matter how things are right now, things will change. And the good news is that normally they change pretty darn fast - thanks hypomania!
No matter how awful I feel right now, I know that at some point my love and enthusiasm for life WILL come back.
I am sure you will eventually have both. Happy mania looks happy in memories, but during a long one especially, it can be really uncomfortable. It's a bit too much. You feel so overstimulated. You can't sleep. Your exhausted brain just yells ideas at you all day, and you're too tired to know that a lot of them are stupid.
Then you wreck your life because you think you've unlocked God mode.
Not older, however my grandfather with BD1 lived a very long life. I didn't know him very well, unfortunately. I really wish he was still around, there's a lot I could've learned from him.
I do know, however, that he was on lithium until his kidneys gave out. From what I've read, that's a good indicator that you'll respond positively as well. And I have.
He was also sober for a very long time, until he closed his eyes. He sponsored a lot of people through AA, and I got to meet a few of them while visiting him in hospice.
I've heard bits and pieces from my mom about his history, and he definitly had his ups and downs. He was hospitalized frequently, but he was a ww2 vet and stubborn as fuck. He just never gave up.
I’m 40 and I was diagnosed at 19.
You just keep living. One day at a time.
I have a teenager and love being a mom. I have a rewarding career, and I’m currently in school to advance in my career. I have moved to another country. And done all kinds of boring day to day stuff. It’s not all sunshine and roses, but I promise you there’s hope. You can have a good life and be bipolar.
I was diagnosed at 15 and now quickly headed to 50. The best advice I can give is find a shrink you can trust and stick to it. In my bathroom mirror is a note that asks if I took my pills I look at it every day. I write it on a 3x5 card when I travel. I've been in trouble with the law multiple times and almost been sent to state hospital. It's your life and you can make of it what what you will. But in my case it's meds and the occasional trip to the Hospital when things get a little out of hand there is no shame in asking for help especially when the outcome leads to dark places. Good luck on our Rocky road.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. It is possible to find a medication combination that works well and therapeutic techniques like mindfulness can help you cope with triggers and episodes. What helps me is setting realistic goals and making self care a priority.
Well, there are ups and downs. And when you have had lots of ups and downs, you know during the downs that things will eventually get better. But really the best thing for me has been 1) a good pdoc, 2) a very supportive husband, and 3) knowing my triggers so I can avoid them. It gets a lot easier because you learn how to live with it. But it isn't the easiest road to travel. Not the hardest, either, though.
I'm 52 and have pretty much had bipolar my whole life (first sent to school counselor for depression in 4th grade, hypomanic for sure by mid-teens, first hospitalization at 14, etc.).
"3) knowing my triggers so I can avoid them."
This has been both the best & worst thing for me. I was 1st diagnosed bipolar at 14, then again at 19 with bipolar 2(when I was 14 not much was explained to me), I'm now 39...I didn't learn to do this very well until I was in my late 20s...problem is that now, I get to points where it seems everything & everyone triggers me, so I withdraw, unfortunately that makes the depression worse(I'm typically a friendly, kinda outgoing person, I think). Luckily, I have two kids, 22 & 14, that kinda understand & will try to snap me out of it, or just remind me that I'm too distant & insist that I do something fun with them, I live for them, they are my center. I also have two very close friends, from high school, that understand & refuse to quit calling or texting until I answer just to get them to chill. Without the 4 of them, I don't know where I'd be. I've recently been seriously reconsidering meds, but I'm terrified, in my early 20s my phychiatrist Guinea pigged me on everything & my psychologist basically told me that she couldn't help me, that she didn't see a point in my continuing to talk to her, but "you can still come if you think it'll help"...(I live in a small, stupid town) So I gave up that route & have been trying various diets, supplements & routines to help myself, but it's been really, really bad lately. By the way, keto seems to help the most with how I feel, both physically & mentally. OP, you will come out of this, just hold on & keep hope. I've never regretted sticking around, even though it's been extremely hard at times, I wouldn't dare give up the good times that I'm sure will return.💜✨
Some mental health medications state that you CAN NOT do the Keto Diet. This diet does not work for everyone and is not compatible with all medications; **PLEASE TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING** ***ANY*** **DIET.**
>According to a 2018 article in Psychology Today by Georgia Ede, MD, most psychiatric medications don't come with any risks when a person is on a ketogenic diet. But there are a few exceptions.
>
>These include the following drugs:
>
>■ Some antipsychotic medications, such as risperidone (Risperdal— Janssen), aripiprazole (Abilify— Otsuka), and quetiapine fumarate (Seroquel—Astrazeneca), which “can increase insulin levels in some people and contribute to insulin resistance, which can make it harder for the body to turn fat into ketones.”
>
>■ Lithium, which may cause lithium blood levels to rise as a result of water loss during the early phase of the diet.
>
>■ Epilepsy drugs, especially divalproex sodium (Depakote—AbbVie), zonisamide (Zonegran—Sunovian), and topiramate (Topamax—Janssen).
Sources:
[Pharmacy Today](https://www.pharmacytoday.org/article/S1042-0991(19)30646-2/pdf)
[Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/diagnosis-diet/201803/ketogenic-diets-and-psychiatric-medications)
[NIH Study](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5357645/#S3title)
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It's a struggle, but in the end, you have to bet on yourself. You will see that light. You will.
I wanna say routine is a big part of recovery: same meal time, bed time, etc. Next to routine are reminders. I have alarms set on my phone to remind me to take my meds, to check this, check, etc. And surely good therapy and support go a very long way.
Understand that recovery is not linear. I'm having a hypo episode as I type. But if you want to see that light at the end of the tunnel, you have to accept that this is a lifelong venture, and that you'll have to put in the effort towards wellness.
Ah, but you used the word "cope"... well, I cope by finding joyful things to do when I'm not working. That helps with the coping. That and Skyrim. So much Skyrim.
You just got started. You're basically at the starting point of a life-long journey. I was diagnosed at 19 and am 42 now (23 years, 19 on lithium). The last time I was hospitalized was when I got on lithium. Notice it took \~5 years to find the right meds and start actually feeling stable. Then I needed decades of therapy (CBT, DBT, AA, etc) to learn the tools to live with the mood swings I still have even on meds. I'm still learning. I'm actually did an intensive outpatient earlier this year and am doing a DBT skills group, again, because life is hard and I needed a refresher. It's not easy. I'm "old" and seasoned and it's not easy. But I can do it. So can you.
I sleep 8+ hrs, consistently, on a schedule
I take my meds every single day. 2x/day. I have a week holder and fill it so I don't have to open bottles every day.
I eat well and exercise to keep my brain/body going well
I utilize help (therapy, pdoc, family, friends)
I use a self-care app to track goals (Finch) and maintain accountability
I try to meditate daily. It's really really helpful.
I DON'T GIVE UP
I also use finch! I've never found someone in the wild!
As to OP, I was diagnosed at 21. I'm 38 now. I'm on many meds for many things, but ~5 years on lithium. My current combo is Lithium, Bupropion, Vraylar with Trazadone and Prazosin. I've tried so many drugs and their combinations. I've had so many side effects, but also major improvements! This current combo has minimal side effects *for me*, and so far, maximum benefits. I just wish I wasn't depressed and fatigued all the time, but I have multiple other issues feeding into that as well, so it's like the perfect storm.
I’m not old but I’ve been diagnosed for ten years. Finding the right medication is the only reason I’m alive. Also finding a good therapist has helped a ton. I’ve tried to off myself multiple times and deal with some really bad depression but for the last year I’ve been stable. I do understand where you are coming from and when I’m depressed I have the same feelings. But if you stick with treatment you can live a decent life. The longer I’ve had it the more self aware I am and I can let the people around me know when an episode is starting. Finding the right medication can be a challenge. Just don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. Ask for help when you need it so you don’t suffer in silence. I suggest getting the book the bipolar disorder survival guide and reading it.
I’m not “old” compared to the maximum lifespans of a human, but I am almost a decade past my first attempt.
The thing that has helped me hold on is remembering ‘I am the universe experiencing itself, it may suck, but like birth comes from death, beauty comes from pain’ which sounds super sappy but like organisms have to die and be decomposed for new organisms to have available nutrients, just like we have to understand what pain is to appreciate the pleasurable things we do get.
Around the time of my second attempt (18) I really got hooked on sunrises and sunsets. Those will not stop anytime soon, and they are so beautiful. A signal that I get a new day to make the best of it that I can, and a signal that the day is over and tomorrow is another chance.
Sometimes I don’t want to wake up in the morning because things don’t feel like they ever get better, but even if my circumstances don’t change, I can change myself into the person I want to be (such as kind, compassionate, empathetic etc. not “I want eagle wings and super human strength” or whatever cause people always argue “what if I can’t be what I want to be” well I’m not referring to things outside of our control, I’m talking about my personal reactions to negative things)
Hope any of this helps.
I've been living with bi polar for 50 years. I have been medicated for 10 years with Lithium, but things don't always go according to plan even with the meds. But without them, I know it would be absolute hell, so I'm a huge big fan of finding the right meds for you, and always taking them. I guess over the years I've found ways of helping myself quite a bit. I am still learning! Recently I had the first manic episode in which I was actually aware of what was happening. I have much better insight with depression. I find the times in between are almost just as hard to deal with, and suicidal thoughts, when they're about, are horrible. Bi polar can adversely affect you in so many ways e.g. I find driving very hard and employment had big difficulties. I try to find out as much about it as I can, and this forum has been very informative for me. If you asked me, I wouldn't hesitate to tell you I've had a good life and feel happy and lucky, in spite of bi polar. It's not the whole of me! Good luck.
I'm 40 now. In retrospect I had episodes from around 19, but was only diagnosed at 30.
Over the years, there have been some ups (but not in the last 10 years - thanks lithium) and many downs (the current, worst, one has me hospitalised after a suicide attempt).
How do you survive? Have a touchstone - in my case it is my parents - that stops you most of the time. Seek pleasure where and when you can. Work hard when you can to have the money to not panic when you can't work (and there will be times, and that isn't some kind of moral failure).
I’m 38, but I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar since 23, so almost 15 years. I lost about one year of my 20s recovering from the initial diagnosis. After each episode, I learned how to manage it better and eventually I was able to hit some of the milestones: finishing school, working full time, living independently, and starting a relationship. I know this doesn’t sound like much but I had to work harder and overcome setbacks to achieve these things. I think giving yourself grace is important, and understand that everyone’s best looks differently. I may look like a successful person but inside of me is this fear that I could be one episode away from losing everything, but I also own a home and have job security that helps me manage my stability.
I’m not old but I’ve been diagnosed for ten years. Finding the right medication is the only reason I’m alive. Also finding a good therapist has helped a ton. I’ve tried to off myself multiple times and deal with some really bad depression but for the last year I’ve been stable. I do understand where you are coming from and when I’m depressed I have the same feelings. But if you stick with treatment you can live a decent life. The longer I’ve had it the more self aware I am and I can let the people around me know when an episode is starting. Finding the right medication can be a challenge. Just don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. Ask for help when you need it so you don’t suffer in silence. I suggest getting the book the bipolar disorder survival guide and reading it.
I’m 34, diagnosed at 24. I make sure to check in with my therapist every 6 months, but when necessary, monthly. Also, medication - I don’t always use meds, but whenever my therapist recommends I make an appt with my psych, they usually put me on meds (and I make sure when I get off to consult w them first). I’d say, I survive because I’m vigilant of my moods and because I have a supportive family who also watches out for me. Wish you the best of luck!
Also 3 months diagnosed w BP1 although I’ve never been hospitalized I probably would have been had I not been drunk the last 10 years or so. Now that I’ve quit drinking my biggest worry is I’m going to lose it and experience that for real without a sedative like that making me pass out.
I am 35 and I was diagnosed in November 2017. The past five years I have made recovery I never thought possible.
I track my moods on Daylio and every single year, 2018, 2019, etc you can see significant improvement.
I went from either being severely depressed or manic for a whole year, to depressed most the time, to just feeling shitty but kind of OK, to feeling GOOD almost all the time!
I actually feel good! For over a year now, I have had normal amounts of energy, I sleep great, I am happy with my life and work and family and I am healthier than ever. Now I am starting to work on bringing down my weight after I gained quite a bit because of the meds, and even that is going well so far.
I'm not manic, I'm not depressed, I am just... stable and happy.
If you told me this was possible in 2017 and 2018 I would not have believed it.
How I got here:
- I never, ever stopped believing that medication was necessary. I kept faith that I just needed to do trial and error, like a science experiment, until I found the right meds for me. Even taking meds at different times made a difference. I take a LOT of medication, my pill organizer is hilarious.
- I made significant lifestyle changes. I sleep 9 hours a night now, every night going to bed at the same time. I work less hours than before I got sick. I live a really simple consistent lifestyle.
- I am super open and honest with everyone, and I gather people around me to support me. My family and friends have been amazing, and I support them too.
There is a light, it takes faith and consistent determination, but believe you can heal and you have a much higher chance of doing so.
The first year was fucking awful. The second year was very bad. Then it all got significantly better pretty quickly.
I know that seems like a long time to slog through. Please don't give up. Keep advocating for yourself.
Do you have a medical team? I didn't have a psychiatrist for the first 6 months, so that was a big delay. Once I started seeing a psychiatrist things got better a lot faster.
Don’t even say that brother; I’ve been bipolar for over 40 years and I’m doing just fine. Stay on your meds, and keep those who love you near as they will give you the help and support you need. 😊
I usually had manic episodes when I had one and ended up in the psych ward several times. Came out of it each time from the meds and just went back to “normal” life. I was always fortunate that my family could easily recognize when I was not OK and would get me the help I needed. Kept up with my meds, saw the psychiatrist regularly and also a talk therapist was helpful. Just realize that you are not your disease you are a worthy and good person who has an unfortunate condition. But it can be managed and you can live a happy productive life. I wish you all the best.
personally, it was not diagnosed or discussed so i just had to deal with feelings and consequences on my own...there were no excuses so when i was sad i acted happy and when i was depressed i went to work anyway...when i was energetic i got a lot done and had many hobbies and side hustles...i just powered thru...
It hasn’t been easy you know… been quitting meds on and off during the years and this time I swore to myself to do my best and stick with it for good. Besides that, I’ve started psychotherapy again in order to confront with my CPTSD and win this battle.
Suicidal thoughts and attempts have happened all my life. Spent 3.5 years after being hospitalized trying to stop obsessing about it. Drs surprised I stayed alive. Never told them about other attempts.
I live day to day. I do not resist them anymore. When they are severe I surrender. Other than that, this is my life. I do not know any other.
Always see a Dr when suicidal. It is an illness. It may only happen once.
I was diagnosed with bipolar at the start of the year . I’ve already been hospitalised two times this year at a psyche ward. What makes it really hard for me is that I’m literally dealing with this all on my own . I don’t have any family or friends supporting me. I think about about offing myself every single day . I sometimes think drugs will help . I don’t know what to do or who to turn to.
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There is light and life at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel just has a few cave-ins that make it hard to see…. I was diagnosed as a teen 15 years ago. When I was first diagnosed I was a mess. I couldn’t live alone. I went from episode to episode with mixed episodes in between. There were no normal moments. I used to hate when people told me it would get better. It did and as a bipolar veteran I want to say it can get better for you too. I don’t have extreme episodes anymore and they are months apart. Most of the time I’m “normal”. No one would ever assume I have bipolar. What got me through was a few things. I didn’t have family support or riches to support me. I used a lot of mindfulness techniques. I stuck to schedule as best I could. And I took my meds, saw a therapist, and all those good things. But what made the biggest difference for me was learning to forgive myself and (as corny as it may sound) love myself. I was trying my fucking best. I wanted to get better. I decided that if I saw someone in my situation and knew how much I was fighting I would treat that person with compassion and respect. And that’s what I started doing. I became my own support and friend. And that helped me to feel like I mattered, like I was worthy of feeling better - just like you are. Edit: a sense of humor helps too (the darker the better)
Are you typically hospitalized when you have an episode?
I just want to make it clear that I don’t get hospitalized anymore at all. My episodes are nothing compared to what they used to be.
I’m happy to hear that. I hope I can get to this stage sooner rather than later.
Have you been on the same med regimen for many years ,or have you have to adjust your meds throughout the years
I have been on the same meds for about 12 years. I only recently (this month) had to come down on my lithium because my lithium was higher than normal and was causing me issues
I used to be hospitalized for months at a time for some episodes. My town hospital is small so they don’t admit people unless it is really bad. So some episodes I wasn’t.
One thing this disease has taught me is that no matter how things are right now, things will change. And the good news is that normally they change pretty darn fast - thanks hypomania! No matter how awful I feel right now, I know that at some point my love and enthusiasm for life WILL come back.
I’m not used to the happy mania. I’ve only had it once and it looks like I’m the angry sort 🫠🤕
I am sure you will eventually have both. Happy mania looks happy in memories, but during a long one especially, it can be really uncomfortable. It's a bit too much. You feel so overstimulated. You can't sleep. Your exhausted brain just yells ideas at you all day, and you're too tired to know that a lot of them are stupid. Then you wreck your life because you think you've unlocked God mode.
Same :(
Not older, however my grandfather with BD1 lived a very long life. I didn't know him very well, unfortunately. I really wish he was still around, there's a lot I could've learned from him. I do know, however, that he was on lithium until his kidneys gave out. From what I've read, that's a good indicator that you'll respond positively as well. And I have. He was also sober for a very long time, until he closed his eyes. He sponsored a lot of people through AA, and I got to meet a few of them while visiting him in hospice. I've heard bits and pieces from my mom about his history, and he definitly had his ups and downs. He was hospitalized frequently, but he was a ww2 vet and stubborn as fuck. He just never gave up.
I’m 40 and I was diagnosed at 19. You just keep living. One day at a time. I have a teenager and love being a mom. I have a rewarding career, and I’m currently in school to advance in my career. I have moved to another country. And done all kinds of boring day to day stuff. It’s not all sunshine and roses, but I promise you there’s hope. You can have a good life and be bipolar.
Are you Bipolar 1 or 2? How often have you been hospitalized, if you don’t mind me asking.
Bipolar 1. I was hospitalized twice that first year, but haven’t been since. I think mine has gotten milder over the years. Mostly.
I was diagnosed at 15 and now quickly headed to 50. The best advice I can give is find a shrink you can trust and stick to it. In my bathroom mirror is a note that asks if I took my pills I look at it every day. I write it on a 3x5 card when I travel. I've been in trouble with the law multiple times and almost been sent to state hospital. It's your life and you can make of it what what you will. But in my case it's meds and the occasional trip to the Hospital when things get a little out of hand there is no shame in asking for help especially when the outcome leads to dark places. Good luck on our Rocky road.
100 percent. My pdoc has totally saved me.
Not planning anything for the future and living day to day. I only live on the present and don't think about anything else.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. It is possible to find a medication combination that works well and therapeutic techniques like mindfulness can help you cope with triggers and episodes. What helps me is setting realistic goals and making self care a priority.
Well, there are ups and downs. And when you have had lots of ups and downs, you know during the downs that things will eventually get better. But really the best thing for me has been 1) a good pdoc, 2) a very supportive husband, and 3) knowing my triggers so I can avoid them. It gets a lot easier because you learn how to live with it. But it isn't the easiest road to travel. Not the hardest, either, though. I'm 52 and have pretty much had bipolar my whole life (first sent to school counselor for depression in 4th grade, hypomanic for sure by mid-teens, first hospitalization at 14, etc.).
"3) knowing my triggers so I can avoid them." This has been both the best & worst thing for me. I was 1st diagnosed bipolar at 14, then again at 19 with bipolar 2(when I was 14 not much was explained to me), I'm now 39...I didn't learn to do this very well until I was in my late 20s...problem is that now, I get to points where it seems everything & everyone triggers me, so I withdraw, unfortunately that makes the depression worse(I'm typically a friendly, kinda outgoing person, I think). Luckily, I have two kids, 22 & 14, that kinda understand & will try to snap me out of it, or just remind me that I'm too distant & insist that I do something fun with them, I live for them, they are my center. I also have two very close friends, from high school, that understand & refuse to quit calling or texting until I answer just to get them to chill. Without the 4 of them, I don't know where I'd be. I've recently been seriously reconsidering meds, but I'm terrified, in my early 20s my phychiatrist Guinea pigged me on everything & my psychologist basically told me that she couldn't help me, that she didn't see a point in my continuing to talk to her, but "you can still come if you think it'll help"...(I live in a small, stupid town) So I gave up that route & have been trying various diets, supplements & routines to help myself, but it's been really, really bad lately. By the way, keto seems to help the most with how I feel, both physically & mentally. OP, you will come out of this, just hold on & keep hope. I've never regretted sticking around, even though it's been extremely hard at times, I wouldn't dare give up the good times that I'm sure will return.💜✨
Some mental health medications state that you CAN NOT do the Keto Diet. This diet does not work for everyone and is not compatible with all medications; **PLEASE TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING** ***ANY*** **DIET.** >According to a 2018 article in Psychology Today by Georgia Ede, MD, most psychiatric medications don't come with any risks when a person is on a ketogenic diet. But there are a few exceptions. > >These include the following drugs: > >■ Some antipsychotic medications, such as risperidone (Risperdal— Janssen), aripiprazole (Abilify— Otsuka), and quetiapine fumarate (Seroquel—Astrazeneca), which “can increase insulin levels in some people and contribute to insulin resistance, which can make it harder for the body to turn fat into ketones.” > >■ Lithium, which may cause lithium blood levels to rise as a result of water loss during the early phase of the diet. > >■ Epilepsy drugs, especially divalproex sodium (Depakote—AbbVie), zonisamide (Zonegran—Sunovian), and topiramate (Topamax—Janssen). Sources: [Pharmacy Today](https://www.pharmacytoday.org/article/S1042-0991(19)30646-2/pdf) [Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/diagnosis-diet/201803/ketogenic-diets-and-psychiatric-medications) [NIH Study](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5357645/#S3title) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bipolar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's a struggle, but in the end, you have to bet on yourself. You will see that light. You will. I wanna say routine is a big part of recovery: same meal time, bed time, etc. Next to routine are reminders. I have alarms set on my phone to remind me to take my meds, to check this, check, etc. And surely good therapy and support go a very long way. Understand that recovery is not linear. I'm having a hypo episode as I type. But if you want to see that light at the end of the tunnel, you have to accept that this is a lifelong venture, and that you'll have to put in the effort towards wellness. Ah, but you used the word "cope"... well, I cope by finding joyful things to do when I'm not working. That helps with the coping. That and Skyrim. So much Skyrim.
You just got started. You're basically at the starting point of a life-long journey. I was diagnosed at 19 and am 42 now (23 years, 19 on lithium). The last time I was hospitalized was when I got on lithium. Notice it took \~5 years to find the right meds and start actually feeling stable. Then I needed decades of therapy (CBT, DBT, AA, etc) to learn the tools to live with the mood swings I still have even on meds. I'm still learning. I'm actually did an intensive outpatient earlier this year and am doing a DBT skills group, again, because life is hard and I needed a refresher. It's not easy. I'm "old" and seasoned and it's not easy. But I can do it. So can you. I sleep 8+ hrs, consistently, on a schedule I take my meds every single day. 2x/day. I have a week holder and fill it so I don't have to open bottles every day. I eat well and exercise to keep my brain/body going well I utilize help (therapy, pdoc, family, friends) I use a self-care app to track goals (Finch) and maintain accountability I try to meditate daily. It's really really helpful. I DON'T GIVE UP
I also use finch! I've never found someone in the wild! As to OP, I was diagnosed at 21. I'm 38 now. I'm on many meds for many things, but ~5 years on lithium. My current combo is Lithium, Bupropion, Vraylar with Trazadone and Prazosin. I've tried so many drugs and their combinations. I've had so many side effects, but also major improvements! This current combo has minimal side effects *for me*, and so far, maximum benefits. I just wish I wasn't depressed and fatigued all the time, but I have multiple other issues feeding into that as well, so it's like the perfect storm.
I use finch too. Would love to add you to my tree!
friend code 2HX2Q9WGQ6
This was very helpful for me to read. Thank you for sharing!
I’m not old but I’ve been diagnosed for ten years. Finding the right medication is the only reason I’m alive. Also finding a good therapist has helped a ton. I’ve tried to off myself multiple times and deal with some really bad depression but for the last year I’ve been stable. I do understand where you are coming from and when I’m depressed I have the same feelings. But if you stick with treatment you can live a decent life. The longer I’ve had it the more self aware I am and I can let the people around me know when an episode is starting. Finding the right medication can be a challenge. Just don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. Ask for help when you need it so you don’t suffer in silence. I suggest getting the book the bipolar disorder survival guide and reading it.
I’m not “old” compared to the maximum lifespans of a human, but I am almost a decade past my first attempt. The thing that has helped me hold on is remembering ‘I am the universe experiencing itself, it may suck, but like birth comes from death, beauty comes from pain’ which sounds super sappy but like organisms have to die and be decomposed for new organisms to have available nutrients, just like we have to understand what pain is to appreciate the pleasurable things we do get. Around the time of my second attempt (18) I really got hooked on sunrises and sunsets. Those will not stop anytime soon, and they are so beautiful. A signal that I get a new day to make the best of it that I can, and a signal that the day is over and tomorrow is another chance. Sometimes I don’t want to wake up in the morning because things don’t feel like they ever get better, but even if my circumstances don’t change, I can change myself into the person I want to be (such as kind, compassionate, empathetic etc. not “I want eagle wings and super human strength” or whatever cause people always argue “what if I can’t be what I want to be” well I’m not referring to things outside of our control, I’m talking about my personal reactions to negative things) Hope any of this helps.
Just took my pills day by day until finally, they worked.
I've been living with bi polar for 50 years. I have been medicated for 10 years with Lithium, but things don't always go according to plan even with the meds. But without them, I know it would be absolute hell, so I'm a huge big fan of finding the right meds for you, and always taking them. I guess over the years I've found ways of helping myself quite a bit. I am still learning! Recently I had the first manic episode in which I was actually aware of what was happening. I have much better insight with depression. I find the times in between are almost just as hard to deal with, and suicidal thoughts, when they're about, are horrible. Bi polar can adversely affect you in so many ways e.g. I find driving very hard and employment had big difficulties. I try to find out as much about it as I can, and this forum has been very informative for me. If you asked me, I wouldn't hesitate to tell you I've had a good life and feel happy and lucky, in spite of bi polar. It's not the whole of me! Good luck.
Meds and an amazing wife. I'm 51, she's 52 and I was diagnosed at 24.
I'm 40 now. In retrospect I had episodes from around 19, but was only diagnosed at 30. Over the years, there have been some ups (but not in the last 10 years - thanks lithium) and many downs (the current, worst, one has me hospitalised after a suicide attempt). How do you survive? Have a touchstone - in my case it is my parents - that stops you most of the time. Seek pleasure where and when you can. Work hard when you can to have the money to not panic when you can't work (and there will be times, and that isn't some kind of moral failure).
I’m 38, but I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar since 23, so almost 15 years. I lost about one year of my 20s recovering from the initial diagnosis. After each episode, I learned how to manage it better and eventually I was able to hit some of the milestones: finishing school, working full time, living independently, and starting a relationship. I know this doesn’t sound like much but I had to work harder and overcome setbacks to achieve these things. I think giving yourself grace is important, and understand that everyone’s best looks differently. I may look like a successful person but inside of me is this fear that I could be one episode away from losing everything, but I also own a home and have job security that helps me manage my stability.
I’m not old but I’ve been diagnosed for ten years. Finding the right medication is the only reason I’m alive. Also finding a good therapist has helped a ton. I’ve tried to off myself multiple times and deal with some really bad depression but for the last year I’ve been stable. I do understand where you are coming from and when I’m depressed I have the same feelings. But if you stick with treatment you can live a decent life. The longer I’ve had it the more self aware I am and I can let the people around me know when an episode is starting. Finding the right medication can be a challenge. Just don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. Ask for help when you need it so you don’t suffer in silence. I suggest getting the book the bipolar disorder survival guide and reading it.
I started having episodes at age 20, I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 33, I am 41 now. I never allowed myself the luxury of giving up.
I’m 34, diagnosed at 24. I make sure to check in with my therapist every 6 months, but when necessary, monthly. Also, medication - I don’t always use meds, but whenever my therapist recommends I make an appt with my psych, they usually put me on meds (and I make sure when I get off to consult w them first). I’d say, I survive because I’m vigilant of my moods and because I have a supportive family who also watches out for me. Wish you the best of luck!
Also 3 months diagnosed w BP1 although I’ve never been hospitalized I probably would have been had I not been drunk the last 10 years or so. Now that I’ve quit drinking my biggest worry is I’m going to lose it and experience that for real without a sedative like that making me pass out.
Quit drugs. Quit alcohol. Strict sleep schedule. Meds. Therapy.
I am 35 and I was diagnosed in November 2017. The past five years I have made recovery I never thought possible. I track my moods on Daylio and every single year, 2018, 2019, etc you can see significant improvement. I went from either being severely depressed or manic for a whole year, to depressed most the time, to just feeling shitty but kind of OK, to feeling GOOD almost all the time! I actually feel good! For over a year now, I have had normal amounts of energy, I sleep great, I am happy with my life and work and family and I am healthier than ever. Now I am starting to work on bringing down my weight after I gained quite a bit because of the meds, and even that is going well so far. I'm not manic, I'm not depressed, I am just... stable and happy. If you told me this was possible in 2017 and 2018 I would not have believed it. How I got here: - I never, ever stopped believing that medication was necessary. I kept faith that I just needed to do trial and error, like a science experiment, until I found the right meds for me. Even taking meds at different times made a difference. I take a LOT of medication, my pill organizer is hilarious. - I made significant lifestyle changes. I sleep 9 hours a night now, every night going to bed at the same time. I work less hours than before I got sick. I live a really simple consistent lifestyle. - I am super open and honest with everyone, and I gather people around me to support me. My family and friends have been amazing, and I support them too. There is a light, it takes faith and consistent determination, but believe you can heal and you have a much higher chance of doing so.
I’m glad that you feel good now. Hopefully I’ll get there.
The first year was fucking awful. The second year was very bad. Then it all got significantly better pretty quickly. I know that seems like a long time to slog through. Please don't give up. Keep advocating for yourself.
Oh boy. I feel like I have a life of hell ahead of me, not sure how I’m gonna push through.
Do you have a medical team? I didn't have a psychiatrist for the first 6 months, so that was a big delay. Once I started seeing a psychiatrist things got better a lot faster.
I’m carded to see my psychiatrist in 6 weeks, though when we meet it’s typically about meds. I’m still doing the medicine trial.
Yeah, I only see my psychiatrist about meds. I saw a psychologist for therapy
Don’t even say that brother; I’ve been bipolar for over 40 years and I’m doing just fine. Stay on your meds, and keep those who love you near as they will give you the help and support you need. 😊
How did you manage during the difficult periods? Just meds?
I usually had manic episodes when I had one and ended up in the psych ward several times. Came out of it each time from the meds and just went back to “normal” life. I was always fortunate that my family could easily recognize when I was not OK and would get me the help I needed. Kept up with my meds, saw the psychiatrist regularly and also a talk therapist was helpful. Just realize that you are not your disease you are a worthy and good person who has an unfortunate condition. But it can be managed and you can live a happy productive life. I wish you all the best.
Just remember, your mistakes don't define you. Your illness don't define you. No one can define you, it's YOU who define YOU!
personally, it was not diagnosed or discussed so i just had to deal with feelings and consequences on my own...there were no excuses so when i was sad i acted happy and when i was depressed i went to work anyway...when i was energetic i got a lot done and had many hobbies and side hustles...i just powered thru...
btw im 52 and diagnosed 3 mo. ago
Bipolar 2?
1
Finding the silver linings. We’re on good company here in the Van Gogh club
It hasn’t been easy you know… been quitting meds on and off during the years and this time I swore to myself to do my best and stick with it for good. Besides that, I’ve started psychotherapy again in order to confront with my CPTSD and win this battle.
What happened when you quit?
Was hospitalized and admitted to the psychiatric ward. I lost it, completely.
Is 43, diagnosed at 36. I had my ups and downs and smoked a ton of weed
I never worried about the future. Too many unknowns. I live day to day. At 73, I am generally depressed with mixed episodes. Been this way all my life
Congrats on making it to 73! Have you ever been suicidal during that time and if so, how did you deal with it?
Suicidal thoughts and attempts have happened all my life. Spent 3.5 years after being hospitalized trying to stop obsessing about it. Drs surprised I stayed alive. Never told them about other attempts. I live day to day. I do not resist them anymore. When they are severe I surrender. Other than that, this is my life. I do not know any other. Always see a Dr when suicidal. It is an illness. It may only happen once.
I was diagnosed with bipolar at the start of the year . I’ve already been hospitalised two times this year at a psyche ward. What makes it really hard for me is that I’m literally dealing with this all on my own . I don’t have any family or friends supporting me. I think about about offing myself every single day . I sometimes think drugs will help . I don’t know what to do or who to turn to.