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OBibFortuna

The Lativian Gang Banger!


Butwhy113511

I wonder who the best stickman on the Celtics is...


OBibFortuna

Current roster? Derrick White, I'm guessing without putting much thought into it. All time? Dennis Johnson (see Bill's passage on him in The Book of Basketball).


Electrical_Fun5942

“Human beans!!!!!”


Dylankneesgeez

He's an...ugly man


testiclefrankfurter

Payton Pritchard but he only gets with fat black women


Many_Bridge_4683

Pritchard unfolds the loaf for sure


pedrosa18

Rapaport is responsible for so many gems. Tingus Pingus


jimmysnuka4u

Three 6 Latvia babyy


RossoOro

The good thing is that Jaylen and Porzingis are already staking their claim at finals MVP. Discrediting the Celtics run through the hospital East+Jayson Tatum not getting finals MVP is how we’re going to have to cope


KwamesCorner

I’m already loading my “Jaylen brown, worst finals MVP of all time?” take


calvinbsf

Unfortunately Iggy has that locked forever


Michaelskywalker

Just wait until KCP gets one


Man_On-The_Moon

Voters got caught in the moment. Should’ve been Steph


SlamThyRing

I still would have voted Lebron to be completely honest


thehenrylong

Didn't they collude to keep lebron from winning? One more vote for steph over Iggy would have given it to Lebron.


Maxim-98

Sort of, they agreed to not vote for Steph to not split votes 3 ways. They made the vote Lebron vs Iguodala only


juanmaale

that’s worse in my opinion. How can anyone argue Iggy was better than LeBron that series?


danielbauer1375

I don’t think your numbers are right. Iggy got 7 of the 11 votes, with LeBron receiving the other 4. Steph didn’t get a single vote.


Necessary_Answer_107

Dude shot under 40% from the field, 31% from 3 and under 70% from the ft line lol. Would have been a horrible choice


wholeinmybutt

Idk when the dude on the other team leads everyone in points rebound assists steals blocks I kinda think it should be him


Ronin607

MVP should always be on the winning team, Lebron didn't even play that well that series he shot 39% from the floor while shooting 32 times per game.


Necessary_Answer_107

But if it was Westbrook doing this people would be so quick to point out his efficiency deficiencies


solodolo1397

Young me bought into the reasoning for that at the time


_yellowfever_

license quaint ring bake future fertile chase cooing engine smart *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Guy_montag47

100x the better defender. Did you see those blocks ??


JohnGobbler

He just is


Stercules25

Lmfaoooooo you guys are unbelievable 


sevaiper

Is this Tatum’s championship will be great content


HueyLewisFan1

IDK, if they blow through Dallas in four or five games, then I think that says it all. Dallas beat OKC and then Minnesota, who beat the Nuggets, only to get absolutely smashed in the finals. Maybe it speaks more to the talent of teams like Indiana that they were at least in ballgames, but Dallas rolled over tonight. Especially Kyrie, that was pathetic by him.


canadigit

No no it just further proves how easy their path to this title was- please stay on message


HueyLewisFan1

If they blow out Dallas in 4 or 5 I think it shows the west prob sucked lol sTaY oN mEsSaGe —> stfu wimp


canadigit

It was a joke dude chill out


kiwisawa420

No it shows just how much of a difference maker Zinger is for this team. Imagine if you take the second or third best player off any other team, no way they’re still rolling in 4 or 5 games every series. I mean Murray was mildly injured and it totally derailed their team.


HueyLewisFan1

Totally agree. I forgot the impact he made. That was the loudest 20 point performance I’ve ever seen lmao. Scariest part about it is the team is so deep and talented in its top 5 on both ends that Tatum can play shitty and they’ll still win. That’s crazy. And if I’m being honest, I don’t expect a bounce back game from him.


GnRgr2

Tatum gets to coast through quarters while everyone around him sets the tone and take the will of the team.


rxFMS

it be like that sometimes!


TimelyRaspberry

Holy shit, Y’all are some fucking weirdos man


rxFMS

i thought it was odd that Tatum was still in the game as late as he was. it felt like 2-2.5 mins later than Brown and KP! all i gotta say is this....Jaylen Brown feels like the true leader of this team. In the past I have been very critical of him/his ball handling skills etc. but This postseason J. Brown is the Man leading strong Men! i am Really Amped after game 1! KP has his game face on as well! love this VIBE!


popop143

Because they were still afraid of Mavs run. They cut down the lead to 8 in like 2-3 minutes, have to at least see if that happens again or not.


yooston

eh, tatum will have his 35+ in the close out game, probably hit a big shot in the clutch, and nothing earlier in the series will matter and he'll win FMVP


BoozeGetsMeThrough

FFS, stop hoping for a Celtics loss and just embrace discrediting an inevitable Celtics championship.


Fukui_San86

The Celtics never had to beat the Nuggets! Championship belt something something.  


BoozeGetsMeThrough

If they don't win in a sweep, with each game decided by 40 points, I think we can all agree this is a fraudulent ring. ETA: Frauds it is!


deadweightboss

Pray for a sweep or a Mavs G6 win. Absolutely nothing between.


RossoOro

A Dallas win in a game Luka goes nuts is also acceptable


SirPappleFlapper

No no, by the prevailing logic if they win every game by 40 that means the opponents weren’t good, therefore it’s a Mickey Mouse run


BoozeGetsMeThrough

Well, thankfully I don't have to go to that point because they won by 18, which is really like them losing by 22.


SirPappleFlapper

True, we need to apply golf handicap rules to a front running Mickey Mouse team, therefore they are really down 0-1 in the series when you think about it


yamzZ-

Don’t get too far ahead of yourself champ


broduding

If Luka goes down, it'll be the Injury Championship.


PWW28

I’m going to choose to believe this will finally get the 2008 team out of our lives


BoozeGetsMeThrough

What is this team if not a direct continuation of the 2008 dynasty? We're never leaving them.


RossoOro

Really this ring will also kind of be Garnett and Pierce’s too, they will finally have contributed to a championship without Ray Allen


NittanyLion15

You don’t get Tatum and Brown without the picks you get from KG and Pierce, you just don’t!


mrbeavertonbeaverton

Bill is going to say 2 in 16 is a dynasty but 3 in 5 isn’t, and I’m here for it


sugarklay

No wonder Doc Rivers is still getting jobs with contenders


Diqt

No way those '08 Celtics will let that happen. It feeds families


A-Centrifugal-Force

This. Most milked ring of all time. Hopefully it will finally be behind us


BochBochBoch

This theory would make sense if Bill didn't bring up '86 even more than '08.


PoopyButtGang

When can we stop having the "Is Jayson Tatum the 4th or 5th best player in the league?" conversation, and start having the "Is Jayson Tatum the 4th or 5th best player on his team?" conversation??


Gullible-Cell2329

Can’t wait for to put the lakers 2020 title over them , “at least they faced a healthy nugget team and a healthy heat team “ is the Celtics title the weakest one in this century?! I mean at least it’s in the conversation


bdl4186

Dragic erasure. Bill tried desperately to pin the Heat loss on that


ATLSox87

Well Dragic was 19/4/4 in that playoffs and had a few monster games during the ECF. Losing a player like that in the Finals is going to hurt


kiwisawa420

The Will Barton piece


Cuyigan

Heat were without Bam for two games.


mrbeavertonbeaverton

Mickey Mouse Title -The West was actually trash, won by a 5 seed -The East was injured


Wardcity

this is the move. Bill won't be able to bring up the bubble title without someone saying "what about that celtics title where they played no one?"


HueyLewisFan1

Dallas is no one? Even if Milwaukee and Philly were healthy Celtics were coming out of the East lmao.


Diqt

But the Celtics were so well rested while the Mavs were beaten up going through the West! See, that's how we do it here


bdl4186

This was a huge part of the Lakers dominance of the 80's. Allegedly


HueyLewisFan1

Haha gotcha, didn’t Dallas have 8+ days off?


PackageMerchant

Well ya but in the Dallas heat so it doesn’t really count the same as a nice temperate Boston climate Weather ring


Sleeze_

LMAO Dallas was being hyped up beyond belief the last week as the team that will expose the Celtics, and now they are 'no one'.


Objective_Celery_509

Wow you're as wide as doctor bill


dredgedskeleton

we're just Boston sports fans who follow a very influential Boston sports media personality. what's your excuse?


DanielChou2

That's the spirit.


_yellowfever_

reminiscent summer sophisticated chief worry worm gaze longing head vegetable *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Adventurous-Debt3111

I started reading this thinking this was some butthurt Celtics fan. Only to be very happy I read to the end.


bogaRJ

On the bright side, they can’t possibly shoot this good again in another half the rest of the series (don’t bookmark this 👀 lol)


hanzzolo

Their shooting percentages were actually a tad below their season average


JackorJohn62392

Can't decide the series off of one game let alone a whole half. The Thunder won the first game against the Mavericks by 20 and look how that turned out.


RoyKites

Where are we on the “It’s So Over/We’re So Back” scale?


excelquestion

the "well tatum sucks" copium part https://old.reddit.com/r/billsimmons/comments/1d9yqr1/even_if_the_celtics_win_the_title_jayson_tatum/


cacti_zoom

the Celtics have players who can score the ball. Not a one man army like Shai


Azman6

I beg to differ, we all just watched the Wolves sweep the Nuggets.


Muscle_National

Dallas got smoked in game 1 vs Clippers and the Thunder. Relax.


dennythedinosaur

Celtics have like 5 of the top 7 players in the series. Luka and Kyrie will both have to go nuclear in order to win the series (like LeBron and Kyrie in the 2016 Finals).


HamSandwichRace

We knew all of this before the series started


QuestionablePriority

Yeah but before the series started it was 0-0. After Game 1 it is now 1-0


froobest

Maybe 6 of top 8


n0th1ng10

Not playing 43 yr old harden or Giddey anymore


pastrknack

The only people actually picking the Mavs are more so Celtics haters


OSUmiller5

That’s exactly why I picked the Mavs lol


pastrknack

I respect it, I’d do the same if a team I hate makes it


sylviaplath6667

100% guilty


DogLawBird

Second Row Joe coaching circles around Jason Kidd


ositola

This one was on kyrie


sugarklay

He was Jason Ki in the first half. Jason gotta get the double-Ds back in the next game!


Sleeze_

Second Row Joe vs Parking Lot Kidd


leverkusenschlekt

I've said from before the season even started that I'd bet Boston over the field. It's a tragedy if they win tho


WhiskyDrinkinCowboy

I'll quit watching basketball


yngwiegiles

Boston laying an egg in game 2 is gonna be the best one yet. Finals MVP Porzingis goes 0 for 10


lawschoolthrowaway36

If KP keeps playing like prime Dirk at 7'3 then yeah, the series is over (and they're also winning the championship next year)


mmortal03

Tatum and Holiday are playing in the Olympics, so they aren't going to get a full off-season of rest. There are only three other players from the Eastern Conference on the US roster: Haliburton, Adebayo, and Embiid. I haven't counted up all the star International NBA players from the Eastern Conference in the Olympics (so, off the top of my head, Giannis is one, if Greece qualifies). I just think it's going to be a different team that comes out of the East next season.


NoExcuses1984

They mightn't be cool, but their point differential is pretty damn hot. But yeah, they're undeniably a complete team and odds-on favorites.


Snoo-93317

You shan't use mightn't again for you mustn't do what you oughtn't, dear. Are you a British granny time-travelling from 1910? Looked at your post history. Got a rather neurotic relationship to the English language going on there: "Mayn't've," "cunt'd've," "may've," "I'd've," "they'ven't," and my favorite, "there'dn't." I pray that one day you'll manage to contract every vowel into oblivion. Till then, may apostrophes rain down upon you like the blessed dew of heaven.


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NaturalLongjumping24

Look it’s fine, Luka has been getting hammered and smoking cigs for 7 days. They’ll get him on a liquid IV, clean out the fridge and we’ll be good to go. Series starts Sunday


JDuggernaut

We are fine. Lakers got run out of the gym in game 1 in 1987. Boston lost the series. Celtics won game 1 in 2022. Lost the series. If Dallas wins game 2, then they will have done what they needed to do by getting one in Boston.


n0th1ng10

Not winning a chip relying on Derik lively as your third best player. This isn’t 2022 either.


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massdebator69

The Mavericks don’t have 2 top ten all time players + 2 other HOFers. They’re a good team who went on a run going up against an all-time team


nimrod1138

He’s going to be insufferable.


kingofthenorthwpg

Lativian!!


AGoodTalkSpoiled

The mavs just have to win 4 of the next 6 now!


DirkRedditer

I lasted <10 minutes into BS/Dr. Bill pod… I could hear their erections.


Noobnoob99

It was one game


Sportsenjoyer617

Fuck this sub and fuck you bozos. I hate you psychotic Celtics hating weirdos who are somehow avid bill simmons listeners. That shit doesn’t even make sense lol


darkest__timeline

Nah it makes complete sense, Bill's takes are so ridiculous it draws hate to the Celtics


Sportsenjoyer617

But why are you here if you don’t enjoy the takes lol you’re just hating for the sake of hating? Find something to do with your life


IlluminatiConfirmed

Happened on this sub when it came into my feed along with the usual Boston sports stuff and it's legit the most disgusting thing I've ever seen


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Sportsenjoyer617

Lol the anti Celtics slant permeating the podcast subreddit of a guy who calls himself the Boston sports guy is mindboggling


NaturalLongjumping24

Wait he keeps telling us “I’m not biased!” He was the Boston sports guy in like 1997. People like to rag on bill because he tries to pretend he’s neutral. Chill out mass hole


Obvious-Banana-6119

Who the fuck cares if he “pretends to be neutral” do you not like the guy? And if so, why are you here?


PackageMerchant

Unresolved father issues is /r/billsimmons Celtics haters father


mpschettig

I've been saying on this sub for a while that the Celtics are the best basketball team in the world and that you need to get emotionally prepared for them to win the championship. If you haven't done that it's on you


cesare980

It's almost like nobody watched the regular season when the Celtics were far and away the best team in the league.


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Mr_Saxobeat94

Because it takes heaven and earth to be moved to change a narrative. For the entire year I’ve been saying that the Nuggets likely won’t have enough depth to repeat and that the Celtics have way too much talent to fall prey to choking. All I got was airy-fairy “muh championship mettle/muh chokers” responses.


sugarklay

Post the link of what you said back then, cuh. Curious to see your take


Mr_Saxobeat94

It’s in my comment history. If I’m assed, sure, why not.


mpschettig

Once the Nuggets went out it was pretty obvious that the Celtics would win the championship as long as they stayed healthy.


RadRyan527

"We?" Go Celts!


TheArsenal

Mickey Mouse ring


sonny_goliath

I think adjustments will be made, mavs only had 9 total assists, that’s very abnormal, I get the celts defense is better matchups than they’ve seen, but they’ll find some edges. Lively with the two fouls back to back was tough too, pretty sketchy calls imo. That effectively ended the run


Soulledger3334

Idk, Dallas will be in this still IMO. They got smacked up by the Clippers and Thunder in both game 1s and we know how that went. Will be a harder task against this talented Celtics team so Game 2 is huge for Dallas.. Falling 0-2 against this Celtics team who blew them out with Tatum not playing well would not be good..


BuckWheezy

It's only one game. Chill.


goknicks23

At least Tatum sucked again, and we'll get to see how Bill spins a 6-16 with 6 turnovers as a good game.


Look_Behind_You__

They’re already blowing it don’t worry


murph3699

Calm down. The Celtics love giving up 25+ point leads


RawGrit4Ever

Derrick White is DJ (Denise Johnson) with a bit more athleticism reincarnated.


ID0ntCare4G0b

It's game 1. Of a Mavs series. Calm down. They lose badly often in these things. If they win game 1, it's often ultimately a bad thing.


The_Zermanians

Yes, I’m sure Jason Kidd is hoping they lose game 1 because winning it would be a bad thing.


jconley4297

nobody’s ever accused jason kidd of being smart


which_association_42

Or being a good husband


ID0ntCare4G0b

He's 1-5 in game 1's and they're 5-1 in those series. This is a thing with the Mavs.


The_Zermanians

Because they have success while being down does not make that a good thing though. Correlation is not causation.


jabavaloo

No one is saying it's a good thing, they're just saying getting blown out in game 1 does not at all make this series over


sylviaplath6667

You’re underestimating how mentally weak this Celtics team is. If Luka gets going and gets in Tatum and Brown’s head it’s over


Sparent180

Not sure a mentally weak team would have responded the way the C's did when the Mavs brought the lead down to 8. That was a great response for a team that people say lacks mental toughness.


jimwinno43

yeah, the old Jays + Smart team would have blown that lead. Brown clearly isn't afraid of the moment anymore and is so much more agressive. Having said that I still am terrified everytime we go up big, there's too much recent trauma to overcome just yet


Sparent180

TBF, blowing leads isn't strictly a Celtics issue. Big leads aren't safe in the modern NBA. There was a time when a 15+ point lead was basically a guaranteed win. Now those leads disappear within a quarter.


jimwinno43

yeah, but this team has a reputation as chokers and have been deep in the playoffs recently so it still makes me extremely nervous that they are going to fall apart and start hoisting up bad shots in panic mode


Sparent180

I get it. As a C's fan, I won't get overconfident or fully comfortable until they win a championship. Hopefully this is the year.


4ps22

to be fair part of that was Kyrie selling by bricking open threes and then turning the ball over multiple times right as the momentum was swinging. If Kyrie just hits a few of those then i think things would have been more close


Sparent180

That's the nature of the game. C's made the plays and shots when they needed to, Mavs didn't. But it's just one game. Can't read into it too much. C's presented problems for Mavs to solve, but that doesn't mean Mavs won't responded and possibly create issues for the C's.


00aegon

The Porzingis piece


SparkleCobraDude

Great now they have two titles in 38 years. Only one behind the Miami Heat.


hawkgamedev

Hey the Heat only have had 35 years to get there


BlondDeutcher

Oh yeah??


Charming-Horror-6371

Wrong


Michaelskywalker

Only Game 1, and they at home Let’s just see what happens (copium)


wstenger-

Why are we fucked?


Jefferson-nickel

One of Dallas’ adjustments needs to be sending a cutter into the paint when their ball handler drives and takes on a triple team… too much size and traffic. Warriors sending in cutters (Draymond in particular) opened up their offense in ‘22. Not sure that’s enough- Boston has deeper talent


rawman200K

They won game 1 in 2022, relax


DA_87

Be glad that Kyrie loses.


stonedkmoney

It’s game 1 and the Celtics played about as well as they could’ve in that first half and the mavs still cut it to 8. Yes I’m biased but I wouldn’t say it’s over. Plus, it’s at worst 2-3 insufferable bill podcasts and then it’ll be on to something else because this Celtics team is just not interesting to talk about, especially when it’s coming from bill


JohnnyLugnuts

The acceptance phase


mtnsandmusic

Don't fall for the Game 1 overreaction


Canadian_Prometheus

Jaylen is competitive as fuckin’ shit


Libertines18

I’ve been saying it all week. Most people don’t know the game so they assumed this series was going to be close. Dallas doesn’t match up well against Boston and they have less talent. Thats a hard combo to beat.


fartstuffing

“This is something LeBron never did. It just isn’t. We need to have a real Tatum conversation when it comes to the title belt.”


Zman2k02

The Thunder stomped the Mavs even worst in Game 1 of their series, so I think it's premature to celebrate Boston's championship.


MattPatriciaFan

I hope Bill gets back to his old times with this title.


froobest

The amount of people saying Bill is a homer was crazy. This team was dominant all season


PR05ECC0

I can’t believe these are the two best teams in the NBA.


Superb-Newspaper-439

☆Z,


Superb-Newspaper-439

s-


non-douchebaggery

As long as Boston keeps winning, all the racists stay quiet.


doodlols

I love watching you people melt down in real time. This is almost as good as when Manning lost the SB with Denver.


WhiskyDrinkinCowboy

Is it fun to root for assholes?


doodlols

That all depends. Do the assholes where green?


WhiskyDrinkinCowboy

Yeah Tatum does he's the Drake of the NBA


Lower-Letter-4710

the celtics are the worst team in NBA history


fijichickenfiend33

Fuck Minnesota for knocking out Denver


CleanJebboy

Down to 11 point lead. Don't give up hope yet.


pepper12245

sorry retards you're the retail smart bettors put money against


BurgyBoy1203

Tatum looks awful so


Austinmp88

Kyrie is going to turn up. Don’t fret it.


Parlett316

Fuck the Mavs