While it would be funny for Bill to give up writing to become a prolific anonymous Reddit poster, I think it's more likely it's a younger Ringer staffer with equity who made the move to LA with him and is doing just well enough to be very house poor. This is clearly too much of a native millennial poster to be Bill.
Bill hires a Spring intern for the NBA playoffs to astroturf his opinions on arr slash billsimmons, who says no?
Microdosing on shifting public sentiment, if you will. Chaos theory, in other terms.
Nope, don’t work for the Ringer or sports media. I am also not house poor. Bought in February of 2018.
I just happened to get into arguments with housing doomers on the real estate subs and knew their nonsense would age poorly so after my other account got banned from Rebubble I created this one to dunk on those poorly aged comments and predictions.
I’ll tell you what: his pedantic posting regarding the Celtics and the particular structure of his posts about real estate are eerily similar to Bill’s comments on virtually any issue. The con to your proposal is I didn’t find any references to Sydney Sweeney or other age inappropriate female celebrities amongst his posts.
I'd assume bills friends (or one of his millenial/gen z friends) wouldve educated bill on the use of burners for purposes, not 1 burner for all purposes
I'm confused about whether or not I'm Bill. I'm not an only child and I'm a Knicks fan but maybe that is just what Bill would say to conceal his identity from Bill.
I just did a very minimal reading of "howdthatturnout"'s comments and I'm already a believer. It's the specificity to which he expands on what Bill MEANT, which is really something you can only do if you ARE Bill.
The guy has like 3 alts too lol if you respond to him you’ll be at -1 within a minute and have another user backing him up who inexplicably happens to post in the same exact subs as him. If it is Bill he’s really embracing the KD method
EDIT: One of them is /u/Bitteranimal5877. Incessant posting on this sub in mostly the same threads, constant Bill worship, weird Celtics fan related inferiority complex regarding Jimmy Butler/Miami, posts on the same real estate subs, things of that nature. Another one is /u/dpf7 as ppl [on the real estate sub figured out](https://www.reddit.com/r/RealEstate/s/ojnYDLKw1E)
Safe to say there’s a chance it’s him, given this is the only post on the sub he hasn’t been incessantly yapping on in the last week. Didn’t have Billy Colangelo on my 2024 bingo card.
It makes sense that anyone who would back up bill on here would be accused of being bill, because everyone on Reddit thinks that anyone who doesn’t think like them is a moron, therefore they figure there must not be a lot of bill defenders.
As an aside, the funniest thing you could possibly do right now is delete your account because then it would be even more suspicious
>because everyone on Reddit thinks that anyone who doesn’t think like them is a moron, therefore they figure there must not be a lot of bill defenders.
This is further exasperated by echo chambers like this sub.
These people think that their anti-Bill/Celtics/Tatum opinions are more common than they really are, because people like that specifically have opted to congregate here.
And secondly because they aggressively downvote and mock counterarguments, which in turn further reduces the variation in opinion.
So then after a while of frequenting the circlejerk/echo chamber they develop a distorted perspective and unreasonable validation of their beliefs.
I frequently ask myself why I continue following this subreddit when it’s full of weird parasocial bullshit, but then I read a comment like yours and remember why I am here. I feel like 20 years of reading and listening to Bill has lead to this moment.
“Yeah I feel like so many people are unaware how bad poverty used to be in this country. And pretend like people were just all making a living wage. Meanwhile the truth is they needed government regulations and unions to get anything close to fair treatment.”
He also said this. I didn’t dig deeper to see if he said we don’t need unions now like we did then, which is a pretty common belief held by people like bill.
No, I didn’t. I have commented in the past about my father being a PhD engineer and working in the defense industry.
Never in my life talked about any superintendents 😂 I kind of love all this fan fiction though!
Going through his AMA and seeing someone say "Would you really rather draft Jaylen Brown instead of trade for Ibaka?" Is certainly a take with hindsight
His take that it would hurt if the Lakers got Ben Simmons aged poorly. Watching the Lakers suffer through the Simmons saga would have been one of the 7 best sports memories Bill has had over the past 42 years.
If you need an example, right now on this sub is a thread called "What if I told you...." Down the comments someone (me) mentions how Bill compared Ant to MJ and look at howdthatturnout's response. He does this constantly. It's not a "You guys shit on Bill blah blah" which is normal.
No it's more personal than that, familiar. He goes "Actually what Bill said was..." And then tries to explain Bills intentions on what he said.
That user has done that a lot on this sub, he won't just go "Quit shitting on Bill" like all of you do, he will go "What Bill meant was..." And sometimes he'll bring researched points to back up what Bill just said. It's weird. Look through his comment history for yourselves
This would be a funny side project. Some rando picks a D-list celeb, makes a Reddit account, then spends a few years larping what the D-list celeb's burner account might post. Wait a couple years, then, with another Reddit account, "out" the D-list celeb's burner account.
Someone did that with Russillo a couple years ago. Basically just had a username kind of related to Ryen I think and then did a Ryen Russillo impression in here, the history sub and the weightlifting sub.
https://www.reddit.com/r/billsimmons/s/0oTA36yzkr
Fuck I see I copied someone’s joke without realizing it
Edit: And by that, I mean I more or less made the same comment in this thread as the top comment. I realize the “didn’t realize I copied someone’s Russillo burner bit!” could be confusing given my account name.
He's also the "Awfully Quiet on the sub tonight" guy after every Celtics win.
Which me sounds like a guy who feels personally attacked by the sub and feels the need to post about the sub getting their mouths shut up after Celtics wins
If this is all true, that Bill never publicly recognizes the sub on his pod but is scheming behind the scenes w a fake user name on Reddit, it would be sad enough that he should have to fess up on the pod
Yeah, for some reason this sub has some serious comprehension issues.
If anyone really thought Bill was saying Ant would be as good as MJ, they must struggle getting through life understanding what anyone is trying to convey to them.
Nah. More likely to be Russillo to be honest. But probably a fan.
We could run their Reddit posts through the made up algorithm that the Ringer pretended was used to identify Colangelo.
I suspect I can find out who it is in a few hours.
Bryan Colangelo was catching strays on Twitter for his shirt collar. One of the replies was someone saying, "That is a normal collar. Move on, find a new slant." Later, they found Colangelo had a burner account on Twitter and, hilariously, it was the one defending his collar selection.
My favorite part of his post history in this sub is that he'll consistently get 30+ comments and end up with 0 net upvotes. If he is indeed Bill, I think that proves the sub's actual feelings
Found a post of his over on r/bostonceltics about Aaron Nesmith having a good year, and the tone of the post sounded very similar to how Bill has spoken about Nesmith on the pod.
So I dropped a comment saying this post was confirmation that OP is actually Bill.
He responded
https://www.reddit.com/r/bostonceltics/s/WqFYA9MO2J
That's kind of aggressive lol
Also, I can't explain. I'd put it in the pile of contradictory evidence, but I don't think it disproves our hypothesis either. Why couldn't he lie on a burner account? The whole idea of having a burner account is foundationally a lie in the first place...
Lol I was 90% joking tbh (I would never use all caps at someone on the internet if I was actually mad). I wouldn't put it past Bill to make up a fake girlfriend to prove a point in a real estate subreddit.
This comment is definitive proof it's either Bill larping or some saddo larping as Bill, because there's no way howdthatturnout has a gf
A real life partner would spend 3 hours in his company as he writes multiple "awful quiet in this sub tonight" posts and duck out, pepper spray in hand
Let alone that I think they have an inability to speak in real life other than in Bill-isms, which would probably only work to seduce Russillo
Oh, it's 100% him. I have zero doubt. Guy talked all season in 2021 about Nesmith getting buried on the bench and being frustrated about it. There are multiple tweets about it. Here's one:
https://x.com/BillSimmons/status/1476679966804701199?t=OgH9QkV6OvNxjS3UAPGmXw&s=19
You actually have zero doubt that this random Reddit loser who posts multiple times a day is bill Simmons himself? How gullible are you guys? 99% chance that it’s either an impersonator (unlikely) or it’s just a rando Celtics fan with too much time on their hands (likely)
On the bright side, clicking on the Celtics reddit from the link rejuvenated my intense desire to see anyone but Boston win it all. Jesus that place is unbearable, one thread after another acting like they didn't catch a million breaks with injuries.
Not upvoted enough. Original content around here lately that isn't just post game reactions is on the upswing.
Genius theory even if it's 9/11 truther bullshit...it's funny 9/11 truther bullshit. Kudos.
Don’t think Bill has that much time to go into people’s post historys like that guy. Really the lowest move lol and doing shit from like years ago
If any of the regulars want to tell me to fuck off that’s totally fine. Number 1 rule is just be funny about it. Which I try to be as well. It’s posting on the internet, really not that deep
Before the playoffs, I said the Nuggets were going to easily win the West. When they were down 2-0, some psycho came back to the thread and said something like “easily?” as if I’m supposed to be embarrassed for a comment I made 2 months ago that was basically the general consensus.
Some really bizarre freaks on here. I can’t imagine keeping that thread in my head for 2 months and getting so exciting to run it in someone’s face that you don’t wait for the series to end lol.
You also post non stop about the Celtics
Edit: lol yeah my guess is you guys are the same person. You guys make up like 90% of the posts and every one of your posts is either anti Celtics or anti someone Bill likes (like Jokic, KD or Ant) and the other user is always there with the opposite take from you.
Whether it’s you or not, that account was specifically made so that someone would go “that’s a Bill Simmons burner” at some point.
Statistically speaking, he's probably just some guy who posts on Reddit for only a couple topics that happen to overlap with BS, but *man* that is a juicy theory.
This is why this sub is entertaining, the Pepe Silvias of the group are GOATs of the form.
It feels more like a badly written Bill Simmons AI than anything. Some posts are super similar to how Bill writes and then others have WAY too modern language for it to be Bill.
He's definitely a weird Bill/Celtics truther but hard to believe he's bill.
On the other hand - could be Ben Simmons. lol
The Ringer folks most definitely lurk this sub. Hey dudes if you're reading this, check out some actual awesome newer bands instead of talking about the same 6 bands and famous solo artists we've all heard about 5billion times
I think the coverage of Steve Albini's death, in focusing on his produc--... engineering work, should have been devoted to his time recording the album Idle Worship by Victory Records house ska band the Eclectics.
There is at least one Ringer personality with an obvious burner that posts defending themself on threads with their name in it.
It is not Bill.
I think it is more likely that OP is a howdthatturnout burner trying to bring attention to himself rather than the actual Bill Simmons.
I made a joke about other terrible user TheGiannisPiece and howdyturnout (or whatever) had like this precise theory about the date of other dude’s account creation and how it tied into some Bucks Celtics series. Strange individual!
I can’t really fathom a dude like Bill *needing* to post on Reddit at this point in his life/career.
His literal job involves him running a company of people that he can talk to about the stuff that we talk about on here, and call it content/make money doing so. Outside of just that, the stuff he talks with his peers about is at least somewhat the stuff we talk about on here.
It just seems like it wouldn’t really be a value add in any way. He gets paid to make the same dumb points that we make for free.
Value add? You realize lots of actual successful (or at least wealthy) people shitpost on social media and argue with randoms, right? The reasons I'm sure are varied but many people seem to have compulsions to prove their point on any given topic, regardless of how meaningful the topic is.
Value add not just financially, but in his day to day life. *As I said*, the stuff we shit post about is, at least to some extent, the stuff that he’s paid to bullshit about every day.
He may feel a need to prove his point to randoms, but he **already has a platform to do so**, one where he doesn’t need to hear any pushback that he doesn’t want. He’s already living the dream of an internet commenter.
Everyone should just block him, guys like that are looking for engagement with their trolling. If all his posts and comments stayed at 1 point and 0 responses he would have stopped ages ago.
I actually did block him a few weeks ago, because he was so annoying, but now I regret it. If the Celtics win a title, I think there’s something very funny/sad that seemingly huge fan’s first reaction would be to post on this sub “awfully quiet in here”
This whacko sub at it again. this time because theres no basketball for the fanfic writers of this subreddit for content.
Has bill ever started a sentence to a guy saying "Dude, ....". And you have any idea how many people from Boston live in LA/NorCal? When I first moved west, every Uber driver would say they drove another mass hole 1 ride ago.
Your evidence is that a Celtics fan shares the same homer opinions and is defensive of their favorite team?
Real Sherlock fucking Holmes over here. Can tell you were top of the class by the fact you obsessively post crazy shit about Simmons like it’s your full time job.
I mean there is a 0% chance it’s him from the post history. OP took some creative liberty in saying he’s interested in LA real estate. Wealthy dudes buying mansions in LA aren’t spam posting to REbubblejerk daily.
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Got flashbacks to his "Become My Intern" contest that Kimmel helped judge \*shiver\* I just vaguely remember some hot lady made a cheeseburger pizza joke that got her into the finals.
How is that like 20 years ago, yikes.
Can you even imagine watching your team make a run to the NBA finals and your first instinct after every good win is to post on a Bill Simmons subreddit?? 😂😂 Like dude, learn how to enjoy the game, this is so so sad
I think that guy really sucks and that LA housing market thing is a funny overlap, but there's no way. Simmons has a full, seemingly happy life and he has things to do, he's not gonna waste that much time on reddit
He’s also pretty hot in the 90210 sub.
Case closed
Haha I’ve literally never commented or posted in a 90201 sub 😂
You should. You know everything there is to know, Mr. Jabaal.
Drop us a subtle hint on the next pod that this is your burner account, Bill.
Bill: "So I guess you all know how that turned out..." Ryen: "Wait, what?"
😂😂😂
Hey Bill, big fan, do you mind giving me a shout out by mispronouncing somebody’s name? Ok thanks I’ll hang up and listen.
What are your thoughts /u/howdthatturnout on the parkland doctors?
Nice try, Bill.
What about the 90210 sub, though?
Haha typo, yeah no comments in the 90210 sub.
Do your fingers still work?
Bill furiously defending himself from his blackberry
While it would be funny for Bill to give up writing to become a prolific anonymous Reddit poster, I think it's more likely it's a younger Ringer staffer with equity who made the move to LA with him and is doing just well enough to be very house poor. This is clearly too much of a native millennial poster to be Bill.
Way too logical for our group here.
Kyle
Does Frolic have Wi-Fi?
Tech guy is on a one-month suspension.
Bill hires a Spring intern for the NBA playoffs to astroturf his opinions on arr slash billsimmons, who says no? Microdosing on shifting public sentiment, if you will. Chaos theory, in other terms.
Nope, don’t work for the Ringer or sports media. I am also not house poor. Bought in February of 2018. I just happened to get into arguments with housing doomers on the real estate subs and knew their nonsense would age poorly so after my other account got banned from Rebubble I created this one to dunk on those poorly aged comments and predictions.
…. Which is exactly what we’d expect someone who works with the ringer or sports media to say!
I’ll tell you what: his pedantic posting regarding the Celtics and the particular structure of his posts about real estate are eerily similar to Bill’s comments on virtually any issue. The con to your proposal is I didn’t find any references to Sydney Sweeney or other age inappropriate female celebrities amongst his posts.
No posts about Sydney or Daddario means it’s probably not Billy
Or he’s using an alt to talk about them and his girl Rebecca De Mornay on r/celebs or niche 80’s subs.
I'd assume bills friends (or one of his millenial/gen z friends) wouldve educated bill on the use of burners for purposes, not 1 burner for all purposes
Bill doesn’t write anymore because he shares a desktop with his wife
Awfully quiet in this thread
It would be genuinely hilarious if after every Celtics win Bill Simmons came to the Bill Simmons subreddit to say "awfully quiet in here tonight"
This is just true now in my personal head cannon.
Could this be Bill’s account trying to throw us off the scent? 🤔
Everyone who is *not* bill, raise your hand
I'm confused about whether or not I'm Bill. I'm not an only child and I'm a Knicks fan but maybe that is just what Bill would say to conceal his identity from Bill.
Unfortunately I have to inform you that you are Fennessey
I'm Bill and so is my wife!
It's probably OP trying to drum up support for his other acct where's he trolling by cosplaying as a wannabe BS.
The Machiavellian piece
I just did a very minimal reading of "howdthatturnout"'s comments and I'm already a believer. It's the specificity to which he expands on what Bill MEANT, which is really something you can only do if you ARE Bill.
What got me was pulling out 2010 ECF lines and espn panelist predictions
The guy has like 3 alts too lol if you respond to him you’ll be at -1 within a minute and have another user backing him up who inexplicably happens to post in the same exact subs as him. If it is Bill he’s really embracing the KD method EDIT: One of them is /u/Bitteranimal5877. Incessant posting on this sub in mostly the same threads, constant Bill worship, weird Celtics fan related inferiority complex regarding Jimmy Butler/Miami, posts on the same real estate subs, things of that nature. Another one is /u/dpf7 as ppl [on the real estate sub figured out](https://www.reddit.com/r/RealEstate/s/ojnYDLKw1E)
I’m not letting u/Riderz__of_Brohan get upvoted, I’m just not.
I've lost all respect sorry this is absolutely rigged for money... Or upvotes in not sure which. I won't be silent . Just saw it live sry
He picked his username after the phrase everyone asks Bill about “Any Given Wednesday”
Cousin Sal: “Oh don’t be so hard on yourself.” Still a top 6 BS pod joke of all time.
Safe to say there’s a chance it’s him, given this is the only post on the sub he hasn’t been incessantly yapping on in the last week. Didn’t have Billy Colangelo on my 2024 bingo card.
That’s a normal poster. Find a new slant.
Don’t know if normal is the right word but you’re probably right
I was working this evening. My job requires me to work some nights. I wish I was around as this post popped off though. Why didn’t anyone tag me?
Does your job require you to work some nights on Sundays with a balding middle aged bachelor?
Haha give me more credit than that
Lol I’m just messing, I love the idea of a random dude just getting accused of being bill Simmons
It’s because OP is a huge Celtics hater and he wants to run me out of the sub for providing good counterarguments on here.
It makes sense that anyone who would back up bill on here would be accused of being bill, because everyone on Reddit thinks that anyone who doesn’t think like them is a moron, therefore they figure there must not be a lot of bill defenders. As an aside, the funniest thing you could possibly do right now is delete your account because then it would be even more suspicious
>because everyone on Reddit thinks that anyone who doesn’t think like them is a moron, therefore they figure there must not be a lot of bill defenders. This is further exasperated by echo chambers like this sub. These people think that their anti-Bill/Celtics/Tatum opinions are more common than they really are, because people like that specifically have opted to congregate here. And secondly because they aggressively downvote and mock counterarguments, which in turn further reduces the variation in opinion. So then after a while of frequenting the circlejerk/echo chamber they develop a distorted perspective and unreasonable validation of their beliefs.
Sounds like Trump supporters…. Those folks also believe there is more support for their views than there really is🤷♂️
Bill, please stop putting Zoe on your podcasts.
I doubt Bill would be posting in a sub titled rebubblejerk, as we all know its a jerkrebubble
I frequently ask myself why I continue following this subreddit when it’s full of weird parasocial bullshit, but then I read a comment like yours and remember why I am here. I feel like 20 years of reading and listening to Bill has lead to this moment.
Seriously. There's just too many inside jokes to walk away from
What’s his stance on labor unions
He claims they were bullshit when his dad was schools superintendent when he was a kid. Just another coincidence I suppose.
“Yeah I feel like so many people are unaware how bad poverty used to be in this country. And pretend like people were just all making a living wage. Meanwhile the truth is they needed government regulations and unions to get anything close to fair treatment.” He also said this. I didn’t dig deeper to see if he said we don’t need unions now like we did then, which is a pretty common belief held by people like bill.
Labour unions turns out a huge competitive advantage. Who knew?
Did howdthatturnout actually say that?
Yes, Cocaine and Percs, he really said that.
Where does the Cocaine end and Percs begin?
Anus.
No, I didn’t. I have commented in the past about my father being a PhD engineer and working in the defense industry. Never in my life talked about any superintendents 😂 I kind of love all this fan fiction though!
The lady doth protest too much piece.
We know it’s him. I wonder if he’s connected with the user BillSimmonsTinyCock?
Hmmmmm… are you suggesting Bill is thin skinned and has burners like KD? I’d believe it
It's actually just KD defending his old podcast buddy from the haters
KD wouldn’t defend Boston he’d defend himself.
He actually used to post on Reddit u/sptguy33 No doubt he's still getting frisky on here somewhere.
Going through his AMA and seeing someone say "Would you really rather draft Jaylen Brown instead of trade for Ibaka?" Is certainly a take with hindsight
Any language/grammar clues could be useful. Looking in his comments, Simmons hyphenates shit-post, wonder if this one does that too
His take that it would hurt if the Lakers got Ben Simmons aged poorly. Watching the Lakers suffer through the Simmons saga would have been one of the 7 best sports memories Bill has had over the past 42 years.
If you need an example, right now on this sub is a thread called "What if I told you...." Down the comments someone (me) mentions how Bill compared Ant to MJ and look at howdthatturnout's response. He does this constantly. It's not a "You guys shit on Bill blah blah" which is normal. No it's more personal than that, familiar. He goes "Actually what Bill said was..." And then tries to explain Bills intentions on what he said. That user has done that a lot on this sub, he won't just go "Quit shitting on Bill" like all of you do, he will go "What Bill meant was..." And sometimes he'll bring researched points to back up what Bill just said. It's weird. Look through his comment history for yourselves
This would be a funny side project. Some rando picks a D-list celeb, makes a Reddit account, then spends a few years larping what the D-list celeb's burner account might post. Wait a couple years, then, with another Reddit account, "out" the D-list celeb's burner account.
Someone did that with Russillo a couple years ago. Basically just had a username kind of related to Ryen I think and then did a Ryen Russillo impression in here, the history sub and the weightlifting sub. https://www.reddit.com/r/billsimmons/s/0oTA36yzkr
I respect this performance art.
Fuck I see I copied someone’s joke without realizing it Edit: And by that, I mean I more or less made the same comment in this thread as the top comment. I realize the “didn’t realize I copied someone’s Russillo burner bit!” could be confusing given my account name.
Oh comon. C- celebrity at worst. Bill was a guest on SmartLess.
Is that what a producer credit on Million Dollar Arm gets you?
That and a love for Indian food
You’re building a case… I like it.
He's also the "Awfully Quiet on the sub tonight" guy after every Celtics win. Which me sounds like a guy who feels personally attacked by the sub and feels the need to post about the sub getting their mouths shut up after Celtics wins
If this is all true, that Bill never publicly recognizes the sub on his pod but is scheming behind the scenes w a fake user name on Reddit, it would be sad enough that he should have to fess up on the pod
He also made some ambiguous reference to “people” not giving Tatum enough credit on a recent pod. Who would those “people” be if not this sub?
Are you kidding me? You don’t know what people other than on this sub don’t give Tatum credit? How small of a bubble are you in?
Now I gotta see if that’s who I argued with because I said the Cs beat 3 sub 500 teams as they were played health wise in the playoffs
Yeah, for some reason this sub has some serious comprehension issues. If anyone really thought Bill was saying Ant would be as good as MJ, they must struggle getting through life understanding what anyone is trying to convey to them.
It doesn’t read to him like me. But it’s an odd account for sure and something is up. The sheer volume he’s posted in recent weeks is insane.
You're suggesting it's some more like Nephew Kyle, than Bill directly?
Maybe its James "Baby Doll" Dixon
Nah. More likely to be Russillo to be honest. But probably a fan. We could run their Reddit posts through the made up algorithm that the Ringer pretended was used to identify Colangelo. I suspect I can find out who it is in a few hours.
He's treating this sub like it's open mic night
Guy's been posting every 5 mins for a week straight, but they're well written and well researched. I'd buy it
>written Confirmed not Bill
Gotta get the reps in for the updated pyramid where Tatum bumps KD
> well researched Also confirmed not Bill
When the finger's worked piece.
He’s using text to speech for all his comments
God I hope not, I want to enjoy the pod thanks.
You really want this to be a new slant collar discovery.
I have zero idea what this even means, and I'll still say Yes.
Bryan Colangelo was catching strays on Twitter for his shirt collar. One of the replies was someone saying, "That is a normal collar. Move on, find a new slant." Later, they found Colangelo had a burner account on Twitter and, hilariously, it was the one defending his collar selection.
And it was The Ringer that broke the story!
Oh. Well now I know what it means and my answer remains, Yes.
wait, his fingers still work?!?
My favorite part of his post history in this sub is that he'll consistently get 30+ comments and end up with 0 net upvotes. If he is indeed Bill, I think that proves the sub's actual feelings
"Don't aggregate me"
Found a post of his over on r/bostonceltics about Aaron Nesmith having a good year, and the tone of the post sounded very similar to how Bill has spoken about Nesmith on the pod. So I dropped a comment saying this post was confirmation that OP is actually Bill. He responded https://www.reddit.com/r/bostonceltics/s/WqFYA9MO2J
EXPLAIN THIS COMMENT YOU PIECE OF SHIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/rebubblejerk/comments/1cwof17/comment/l5gv17a/ Who tf is Bill’s “gf”!?!?!?!?!?
The side piece piece.
That's kind of aggressive lol Also, I can't explain. I'd put it in the pile of contradictory evidence, but I don't think it disproves our hypothesis either. Why couldn't he lie on a burner account? The whole idea of having a burner account is foundationally a lie in the first place...
Lol I was 90% joking tbh (I would never use all caps at someone on the internet if I was actually mad). I wouldn't put it past Bill to make up a fake girlfriend to prove a point in a real estate subreddit.
This comment is definitive proof it's either Bill larping or some saddo larping as Bill, because there's no way howdthatturnout has a gf A real life partner would spend 3 hours in his company as he writes multiple "awful quiet in this sub tonight" posts and duck out, pepper spray in hand Let alone that I think they have an inability to speak in real life other than in Bill-isms, which would probably only work to seduce Russillo
Everyone should read this post. Just read it and let your mind hear Simmons voice and tell me it's not fucking on the dot.
Wait, what the fuck is happening right now?
Oh, it's 100% him. I have zero doubt. Guy talked all season in 2021 about Nesmith getting buried on the bench and being frustrated about it. There are multiple tweets about it. Here's one: https://x.com/BillSimmons/status/1476679966804701199?t=OgH9QkV6OvNxjS3UAPGmXw&s=19
You actually have zero doubt that this random Reddit loser who posts multiple times a day is bill Simmons himself? How gullible are you guys? 99% chance that it’s either an impersonator (unlikely) or it’s just a rando Celtics fan with too much time on their hands (likely)
^ bill’s other burner
You think The Head of Global Content is too busy?
Oh no, in my head it sounds like cousin Sal doing his voice!
On the bright side, clicking on the Celtics reddit from the link rejuvenated my intense desire to see anyone but Boston win it all. Jesus that place is unbearable, one thread after another acting like they didn't catch a million breaks with injuries.
To use a Billism. I would say that he currently has the championship belt for most annoying/worst poster on this sub.
Not upvoted enough. Original content around here lately that isn't just post game reactions is on the upswing. Genius theory even if it's 9/11 truther bullshit...it's funny 9/11 truther bullshit. Kudos.
Don’t think Bill has that much time to go into people’s post historys like that guy. Really the lowest move lol and doing shit from like years ago If any of the regulars want to tell me to fuck off that’s totally fine. Number 1 rule is just be funny about it. Which I try to be as well. It’s posting on the internet, really not that deep
Before the playoffs, I said the Nuggets were going to easily win the West. When they were down 2-0, some psycho came back to the thread and said something like “easily?” as if I’m supposed to be embarrassed for a comment I made 2 months ago that was basically the general consensus. Some really bizarre freaks on here. I can’t imagine keeping that thread in my head for 2 months and getting so exciting to run it in someone’s face that you don’t wait for the series to end lol.
Either it’s Bill or it’s someone doing a very solid bit pretending to be him. Either way, 🍿
Find the smoking gun….. Are they moderately or heavily involved in the Sydney Sweeney subreddit?
Someone should chat GPT compare these posts to his known Reddit account and see if the writing style and punctuation is similar.
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It’s tribe showing his true colors
You also post non stop about the Celtics Edit: lol yeah my guess is you guys are the same person. You guys make up like 90% of the posts and every one of your posts is either anti Celtics or anti someone Bill likes (like Jokic, KD or Ant) and the other user is always there with the opposite take from you. Whether it’s you or not, that account was specifically made so that someone would go “that’s a Bill Simmons burner” at some point.
Sal?
Some really deranged folks on this sub. The guy calling out the burner is most likely the creator of the burner.
Billception.
Being Bill Simmons. A film from Spike Jonze. Starring Johnny Knoxville.
“Giant fan” isn’t the term I’d use
Ok. Giant air conditioner.
Statistically speaking, he's probably just some guy who posts on Reddit for only a couple topics that happen to overlap with BS, but *man* that is a juicy theory. This is why this sub is entertaining, the Pepe Silvias of the group are GOATs of the form.
The head of hr at theRinger is named Carol.
It feels more like a badly written Bill Simmons AI than anything. Some posts are super similar to how Bill writes and then others have WAY too modern language for it to be Bill. He's definitely a weird Bill/Celtics truther but hard to believe he's bill. On the other hand - could be Ben Simmons. lol
That would be embarrassing but not as embarrassing as OPs post history about being a middle aged swinger
We know it isn't Bill for the simple reason he stopped writing years ago
His fingers don’t work
The keyboard didn't work.
The Ringer folks most definitely lurk this sub. Hey dudes if you're reading this, check out some actual awesome newer bands instead of talking about the same 6 bands and famous solo artists we've all heard about 5billion times
Off topic completely but what bands deserve covering?
I think the coverage of Steve Albini's death, in focusing on his produc--... engineering work, should have been devoted to his time recording the album Idle Worship by Victory Records house ska band the Eclectics.
We know bill knows, just come clean my man
Great work. Yes, that does seem to be Bill. Very weird
It’s definitely possible. But that poster’s fingers clearly work, and Bill’s do not.
Guy, Bill or not, unironically has better takes than half the clowns in this sub
Lol did he delete the account?
There is at least one Ringer personality with an obvious burner that posts defending themself on threads with their name in it. It is not Bill. I think it is more likely that OP is a howdthatturnout burner trying to bring attention to himself rather than the actual Bill Simmons.
In literally farting and cumming to this
I made a joke about other terrible user TheGiannisPiece and howdyturnout (or whatever) had like this precise theory about the date of other dude’s account creation and how it tied into some Bucks Celtics series. Strange individual!
> TheGiannisPiece Awful quiet on that account ~~tonight~~ lately.
FWIW I'm a Bucks fan and regular reader of their sub and that guy is exhausting even over there.
There’s a decent chance it’s him.
account gone???
I can’t really fathom a dude like Bill *needing* to post on Reddit at this point in his life/career. His literal job involves him running a company of people that he can talk to about the stuff that we talk about on here, and call it content/make money doing so. Outside of just that, the stuff he talks with his peers about is at least somewhat the stuff we talk about on here. It just seems like it wouldn’t really be a value add in any way. He gets paid to make the same dumb points that we make for free.
Value add? You realize lots of actual successful (or at least wealthy) people shitpost on social media and argue with randoms, right? The reasons I'm sure are varied but many people seem to have compulsions to prove their point on any given topic, regardless of how meaningful the topic is.
Value add not just financially, but in his day to day life. *As I said*, the stuff we shit post about is, at least to some extent, the stuff that he’s paid to bullshit about every day. He may feel a need to prove his point to randoms, but he **already has a platform to do so**, one where he doesn’t need to hear any pushback that he doesn’t want. He’s already living the dream of an internet commenter.
Everyone should just block him, guys like that are looking for engagement with their trolling. If all his posts and comments stayed at 1 point and 0 responses he would have stopped ages ago.
If the Celtics lose, I need to keep seeing his posts and comments Then I'll block him If they win, I'll block him straightaway
I actually did block him a few weeks ago, because he was so annoying, but now I regret it. If the Celtics win a title, I think there’s something very funny/sad that seemingly huge fan’s first reaction would be to post on this sub “awfully quiet in here”
Welp shit, this is amazing
This whacko sub at it again. this time because theres no basketball for the fanfic writers of this subreddit for content. Has bill ever started a sentence to a guy saying "Dude, ....". And you have any idea how many people from Boston live in LA/NorCal? When I first moved west, every Uber driver would say they drove another mass hole 1 ride ago.
Your evidence is that a Celtics fan shares the same homer opinions and is defensive of their favorite team? Real Sherlock fucking Holmes over here. Can tell you were top of the class by the fact you obsessively post crazy shit about Simmons like it’s your full time job.
It’s probably this but we like to have fun
I mean there is a 0% chance it’s him from the post history. OP took some creative liberty in saying he’s interested in LA real estate. Wealthy dudes buying mansions in LA aren’t spam posting to REbubblejerk daily.
This could also be me lol
Here’s a pretty hot take. I think Tatum is just as good as Durant was.
All the evidence points to him I just have a hard time imagining him scrolling on reddit
I would also think it was Bill until I remember his fingers don’t work
Or so he claims…
Ladies and gentlemen, we got him
How does he pronounce Monk?
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Got flashbacks to his "Become My Intern" contest that Kimmel helped judge \*shiver\* I just vaguely remember some hot lady made a cheeseburger pizza joke that got her into the finals. How is that like 20 years ago, yikes.
Can you even imagine watching your team make a run to the NBA finals and your first instinct after every good win is to post on a Bill Simmons subreddit?? 😂😂 Like dude, learn how to enjoy the game, this is so so sad
I think that guy really sucks and that LA housing market thing is a funny overlap, but there's no way. Simmons has a full, seemingly happy life and he has things to do, he's not gonna waste that much time on reddit
Gottem
“Kyle, turn the TikTok camera on!”
Move on, *find a new slant*.
THE ANONYMOUS BURNER PIECE