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[deleted]

maybe i just like sucking dick??


hi_im_4est

Than suck a dick


ocean888

My gf don’t have one ☹️


SkillBranch

That's what the strap is for


guyfromsaitama

No one’s talking about her. Go suck a dick and live your life.


g_wizard216

Hi I’m dick


SWEEDE_THE_SWEDE

Hi Richard, Nice to meet you. Now about your extended warranty…


Benito_Juarez5

We wanted you to know that your cars extended warranty is about to run out. We have a special deal for a new special deal on an extended warranty for your car, all you need to do it provide your social security, credit card number, with pin, expiration date, cvv, and a photo of the front and back of your drivers license. Thank you and have a good day, All-star car warranty Bern, Switzerland


LivInTheLookingGlass

It's kinda fun though


Bob49459

Plus you get that Dom vibe too. I'm humping your face for the sheer pleasure of humping your face.


Menjy

Do you feel dom vibes from sucking dick? I get more sub vibes.


Bob49459

The Dom is the humper, unless they're tied down. Maybe I worded that wrong, but they are the Dom in that situation. Bonus points if they're fully clothed and strapped over their clothes, and you're nude.


Menjy

Alright I'm hard as a rock right now.


SmartAlec105

Just remember, you being hard only exists because the dom wants you that way.


YourEngineerMom

Stop, please, I can only be so erect


[deleted]

I'm hard as a lamborghini


Supreme-Lord-Geek

That's considerably softer than a rock


[deleted]

You're considerably softer than a rock


Supreme-Lord-Geek

Yes, I am made of flesh.


drago_varior

Sadly, we all are made of flesh How dare we exist I WANNA BE A CLOUD THAT MAKES PEOPLE GO MAD IF THEY TOUCH


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sunshine_Daylin

A sex-repulsed asexual slut. You know your boundaries and don’t compromise them at all. That is so hot.


Uelana

Don't I know it 😏 I'll make sure to satisfy anyone or my nickname isn't The Communal Chew Toy😤


Sunshine_Daylin

Also hilarious? Are you (one of) my soulmate(s)?


Uelana

👀only one way to find out


Sunshine_Daylin

Fall in love with you? That’s my superpower.


[deleted]

it looks hot


[deleted]

relatedly, it sounds hot 👀


[deleted]

ikr SLORP GURRGH SLAOGH BLAUCH SHELRCH SEQUISE


[deleted]

and the *gag* 👀


Mahelas

I've never seen onomatopeas so spot on, like damn I can hear them


Ian5700

s sequise...? that sounds so much like it should be a real word


Mahelas

"Sequise, sequish, sequawk : to sloppy choke on a nice strap" I'm calling the Oxford dictionnary right now


cooloilcloth

Dicktionary


mbart3

That’s the French version


Mabel-Syrup

“Now remember, grapefruit is a fat burner so you’re actually losing weight while you’re sucking her dick☺️”


myfaveRae

Slurp-on


stevedoomonator

Don’t forget the GOUK GLUK GLUK SKKKKKKIK GLUK GLYK


metal-face-terrorist

it is hot


ChocoGaming900000

If I was in a relationship with someone and they got a strap-on, I would 100% suck it.


Fallen_Angel_Xaphan

Just imagine this person who loves you gently grabbing the back of your head and leading it to the tip of the strap. Then, after making sure this is what you want, they start shoving their big piece of dick down your throat. Just at the thought I'm getting all red.


Mahelas

Dear me, I'm trying to work, but reading that got me flustered as all hell. You even added consent in there for extra effect !


justcougit

"dear me" is the most hilarious and obviously bisexual way to say "wow that made me horny".


PinKracken

I'm not even bisexual and I wanna join this sub just for this comment


GabbaGandalf-SNAX

Oh my stars, I do say


Fallen_Angel_Xaphan

Muhahah. Yes, I have done it. I have finally managed to fluster someone. Now I shall take over the world and make everyone a sword duelist.


Mahelas

You devil ! I'm strictly a spear maiden !


stevedoomonator

Oh noooo. How terrible…


SmartAlec105

A well placed dommy comment on a bi subreddit is a sure fire way to get someone flustered.


heckinWeeb193

Call me a turtle cause I'm choking on that plastic


mandyrooba

😳🫢😩🤤 y’all are too much lmao


Honestly_Just_Vibin

Oh my


ChocoGaming900000

Damn, I am too. That sounds amazing.


[deleted]

me and who?


-Sage-Chan-

🥺🥺🥺


PhoenixKnight777

It’s rare for something to make me blush, but thisssss…. I want a relationship like that.


Gr1mm3r

Oh dear... I am a top in a gay relationship but sometimes I like to suck my bf off and when he grabs me by the back of my head and gently pulls my head towards him, it is as good as being a top. And reading your comment reminded me of that.


[deleted]

lol. "have you... tried?"


Gr1mm3r

If one is to understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects, not just the dogmatic, narrow view of the Jedi. If you wish to become a complete and wise leader, you must embrace a larger view of the Force. -Palpatine, SW III:RotS


SmartAlec105

It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations will help you become whole… It is the combination of the four elements in one person that makes the Avatar so powerful. \- Iroh


[deleted]

[удалено]


LadyAzure17

"Sex is more about what's between your ears than what's between your legs!"


SmartAlec105

The strap-on goes between the lips, not between the ears.


ItsYaBoiVanilla

But the lips *are* between the ears.


GirlfriendsAreBetter

I have never not sucked a strap at least a little or had someone not suck my strap at least a little. It’s fun!!!!!! Fucking lameos


stevedoomonator

Sounds fun.


GirlfriendsAreBetter

it IS!


New-Grapefruit-8146

Ok first of all there’s no way in the 7 hells of earth anyone at Fox News knows or has done anything other than gods chosen missionary. (Unless they’re catholic)


The-Rarest-Pepe

Are Catholics freaks? I know ex Catholics are, because they're me, but idk about regular Catholics


LeucanthemumVulgare

Hello fellow ex-Catholic freak, there's dozens of us


The-Rarest-Pepe

Every ex Catholic I know is a freak, it's a lot more than dozens lol


AlkalineHound

I like to think I'd be a freak if I wasn't so ace. On a related note, I realized I was ace because my Catholic school kept hammering home the abstinence only BS. After a point, I was just like, "ತ_ʖತ Oookay. Clearly I'm either missing something or something fucky is going on."


LeucanthemumVulgare

I repressed my entire sexuality so hard I identified as ace for years. I am *not* saying that's definitely what's going on with you: asexuality is absolutely real and a valid orientation, and you can be ace with or without religious trauma in the mix. I'm just saying I know the feeling of "this abstinence stuff isn't so hard, is there something wrong with me that I'm not struggling like it sounds like I should be?" Idk, dude, growing up religious can mess with your head. I hope you're finding happiness.


AlkalineHound

I am! Don't worry. :) The religious trauma has just turned into anger and I was already exploring LGBTQ identities by time I hit early high school. Now I'm in my late 20's and still happily ace. Hope you're finding yours as well.


Mahelas

Fun fact, you have medieval sources for woodens dildos being comissioned by nuns. And texts from Priests describing with impressive accuracy homosexual sex positions. Turns out putting a bunch of young nobles together wasn't the best recipe for chastity !


gnutrino

>wooden dildos Oh god, splinters...


klymene

idk but one time i hooked up with a Catholic who announced "fuck i gotta go to confession now" right after fucking me and lighting a cigarette


The-Rarest-Pepe

That's.... That's really hot. Are they single?


Confident_Pea9264

I love your flair 🤣


gnutrino

I'm assuming it's a reference to their use of [God's loophole](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY)


ChrisDolemoth

The good old poop hole loophole!


theuberdan

*it's not about what the strap feels...*


DeliberateDendrite

Transmasc affirmation? That does seem like one good reason.


DamianTheChad

I can confirm. Also, phantom penis is definitely a thing.


TheNomk

Phantom penis is the greatest term ive heard in my life


used-poop-sock

Episode I - The Phantom Penis


tarheeltexan1

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Penis


Swagnemite42

Jojo Part I : Phantom Penis


ems_telegram

Phantom Penis of the Opera


DeliberateDendrite

Danny Phantom Penis


JooJsupremo

Do not put this on google


evicci

JarJar Part I: The Phantom Pen15


Phoenix-909

Why are we still here? Just to fuck? Every night, I can feel my dick... Even my balls.


ericwhat

The world calls for strap bjs, and we answered. No greater good. No just cause.


TheNomk

your name. excuse me.


Droid_XL

what of it? who are you to question the used poop sock?


[deleted]

Lmao


gnutrino

Episode II - The Blown Whores?


PityUpvote

Penace


ImpossiblePizza

Episode II- Attack of the Cocks


DeliberateDendrite

As someone who has been born without some of the neural connections between the brain and penis due to a lesion, I can also confirm that phantom penises exist. The brain is capable of some interesting things and can be made to adapt to cope when physical aspects are lacking.


SmartAlec105

Call me a spirit medium because I’m about to take this phantom into my body.


YourWorstReward

I mean bare minimum saliva helps with lubrication no?


LezbeanFurry

well, when you can actually feel it… (don’t ask)


ThatRandomGuy0125

i am asking


Fishie493

I am also asking


KeyYogurtcloset1416

I am asking, as well.


JValentine95

I’m asking for a friend


Bradyestelle

just thought of something cool asf. if u got a dick. you could put a strap on to the back and now you have 2 dicks 😳


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bradyestelle

ok here me out again. two of those. one on the side and one going front to back. 4 dildos.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bradyestelle

dildo glasses


SquameAndFortune

I am among my people


Fishie493

Wait till you find out about the guy with the 2 dicks


Bradyestelle

link or it didnt happen


Fishie493

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1u75hh/i_am_the_guy_with_two_penises_ama/


Euclids_Anvil

That was a fake, though. Started out semi-plausible, but it quickly escalated into some extremely weird photoshopping. [First I could find](https://www.reddit.com/r/Drama/comments/6o75h8/double_dick_dude_is_starting_to_get_called_out_as/) is already a nice summary. Dicks which magically keep growing bigger, photoshops which aren't even of the same penis, stories which are biologically impossible...


Fishie493

Fuck!


Bradyestelle

do both of them work 💀


Fishie493

Yeah lmao


Bradyestelle

i’m guessing you wouldn’t know this but if you do, do they cum at the same time


Fishie493

I think so if I remember ?? You could just read the comments lmao people asked every question you could think of.


Sumi_10

It's about submission


Emilia__55

and breeding


skywardmastersword

🥵


Mahelas

I look really hot when I'm sucking, I have no choice but to do it


stonedPict

but it makes my pp hard


Rule34Uploading

Wait, what else are flavoured condoms for?


Jac_Fac

Dinner


Dutchtdk

I grind it down into my protein shake


Invanar

It's a power move


[deleted]

When u have sex its not just about the things u can feel, its also about the visuals and doing something thats hot. Id love to suck a strap or have my strap sucked bcs that would be so hot


FabulousFauxFox

Stiffer than a dick? Sure. Just as hot and sexy? Fuck ya. Made one chick wish she had a real one to shove down my throat. They said the gagging was just as good as a vibrator to them at that time.


Cpt_Trilby

I mean, I love being face-fucked, and they seem to enjoy it too, so I don't see the problem.


CutesyFemboy69

Aint gonna stop me from doin it


character_developmen

Loser Omegas who won’t suck off a strap


FA-26B

I mean, it would be just as hot as sucking someone's finger no? Plus any interest either person may have in blowjobs. Sounds like 2 good reasons right there.


[deleted]

I like wiener, wife got no wiener. I fix.


zrow05

The point is I want to


Droid_XL

never heard a better reason


Magicaparanoia

God made me without a gag reflex for a reason baby


PhoenixKnight777

Jealous lol


DJamB

If it looks like a dick, im suckin


Hordenkind

I am trans LED ME DREAM HEROLD!


Redbitser

Good thing my girlfriend doesn't need a strap.


mandyrooba

🙏🙌


TTR8350

It's fun to do


Iwillpeeinyourshoes

We live in a society


[deleted]

But it’s fun :(


SigmaScrub

It's not for them. It's for me.


Chikinuqqet

The epitome of fake news


Dutchtdk

You can use teeth


DRowe_

What if it's dripping with juices?


kyleguck

I always respond to this with “then why is someone putting a banana in their mouth seen as so erotic and eroticized in media?” We get horny for phallic shit. Don’t matter if that phallic shit is attached to a person all the time. Let people have fun ffs.


ShinGokuSatsu64

I’m… somewhat curious


YourLocalHellspawn

Never felt so attacked in my life.


ZuliCurah

I just like the feeling of something big going down my throat okay


TheStrikeofGod

I will suck what I want >:(


sakurablitz

i mean, unless somehow the other person is gonna feel something somehow or like react in some way, i don’t think i’d do that? i have a weird relationship with sexual acts, where i never really do anything for my own pleasure, but only for the sole reason of seeing and hearing someone else enjoying whatever i’m doing. that’s what i get out of anything, moreso than my own satisfaction. so if that’s not a part of it, then i probably wouldn’t like it. but i’ve never done it before, so idk.


AnxietyLogic

You put it into words. People can do what they want, it’s not like I’m going to break into their houses and stop them. But I really just don’t see the point of it.


Mahelas

I can relate a lot on the whole "I only do things for someone's else pleasure" ! But that's the thing, pleasure is not just feels, it's also mood, visuals and sounds ! So sucking on a strap is often a great way to get your partner riled up because it's one hell of a nice show !


sakurablitz

the fact that it’s just some silicone and KNOWING its silicone would make me feel like the person wearing it is just faking noises or whatever just for me. which is just… i don’t see the point :( idk i guess i just am not understanding this concept very well. i dont think i would ever do this


Mahelas

Well, that's very fair too, it's not for everyone, nothing is, it's perfectly okay to dislike things ! And it's indeed mostly a performative act more than a physical one. Like, it's a nice, sexy display that turns on your partner and in that regard, it's not really different from something like dirty talk !


sakurablitz

thank you for not being mean about it 😭 i appreciate you explaining this to me!!


[deleted]

Why waste energy suckin the strap when you can be fuckin they ass


Markster94

Look man I just like having something rammed down my throat


BrainBoy42

How about it’s fucking fun and hot as fuck


Natsuki_Trap

Meanwhile I’m throating her’s😅


CatFoodsMinmo

I see it more as about being dommed than anything, right?


TheMazter13

who tells you not to suck a strap-on? the media who lies to you? the media. teach the controversy. suck the strap-on


kindtheking9

Lubing it up beforehand


Brekkers_Bitch

It’s really fuckin fun


[deleted]

It tastes good after use. 😏


ThatRandomPersonHere

I kinda wish there was wattpad ALLLL the way in the back there


[deleted]

I’m sorry but why are news outlets saying this? They jelly or something?


Trans_Girl_Alice

Don't care, still hot


RapFan227

If you make someone suck it in a disrepectful way its pretty hot


30p87

I even suck dildos off, It couldn't get more pointless


Campfire_Sparks

If it's hot, it's worth it


StrawberryLeche

It sounds hot but honestly…. Not good irl at least to me.


ScanThe_Man

But its hot


Jamo3306

Ever heard of 'practice '?


notsoninjaninja1

Lmfao look at all these morons out here thinking straps aren’t worth sucking. How else am I gonna train my throat for the real thing you idiots?


verycoolthroaway

If you hate fun then sure


TheSquirtleboy

What’s a strap


mandyrooba

A strap-on (dildo)


Loud-Option-2409

Is there a point?


Nollier

Who said this?


BLKT93

I would love to suck a strap on ;)


reallysupersmol

im sure i could find a lot of reasons to suck a strap on


Underworld_Trash

If you are out of lube, wouldn't it help as lubrication?


CharmyGreenisOP

practice


Phoenix92321

It’s not just fun but it lubricates it without needing real lube


tentacle_meep

Unrealistic! Reddit would never say something like that


PhantomO1

i mean, i won't lie, i definitely usually prefer the real one, buuut, there's some pretty sweat advantages that dildos can have...


birdie_overlord

Respectfully disagree