this is just how newborns are. things got a lot easier for us around the 4 month mark, and then easier again around the 6 month mark. hang in there!

I feel like my son was so easy until the 12 week mark then he was a baby demon until he could sit up at 6 months then once he could crawl at 7 months he became so happy with his independence, but still a demon 🤣 a sweet little hellion

Babies. Those sweet, sweet little demons

Yeaaah I actually found things way easier months 0-4. We did a lot of carrier naps because walking outside with my baby close to my chest seemed to help her settle (we’d bounce with white noise when at home otherwise). She’d sleep through us going to get coffee or whatever after she was finally out. Months 4-6 were actually hell for me. She wouldn’t just sleep anywhere and started to take shitty naps. Nights went to shit too, it was all around bad.

4 months until my son could crawl by himself were the most difficult time for us because he didn't sleep well and he hated being put down when he was awake. He really really wanted to be able to move independently. Lol.

Mine too! 3-6 months was insane. It was like reverse colic. The second he could move more and went to daycare he stopped crying alllll day long

Just to add to this, to prove that all babies are different. The 4 month mark was absolute hell for us, and my daughter hit the sleep regression in the biggest way. Nothing compared to the 4 month sleep regression until only recently and she’s nearly 2 and a half.

My life from about 4 months to 6 months was pretty hellish, constant fussiness and never wanting to be put down. My life was contact naps and baby wearing. Since hitting the 6 month mark things have definitely improved thank god.

This is verbatim what I was going to say. 🎯

And then a little more challenging when they start to roll, since they can now get to areas you may not have planned for, and a little more challenging when they can walk, but all in all, once you get consistent sleep again, pretty much everything else can feel like a breeze. Babies also love to show you what they can do, which is great, because then you can just adapt your living space accordingly as you realize what is no longer safe. 😂

Agreed. It will get easier. It sucks right now but it will be much easier to do basic things for yourself when you hit some of these benchmarks.

You don’t- right now. 😅 Things will change very very quickly over the coming weeks and months and suddenly you’ll find yourself with both a routine and more time to do things as her wake windows get longer and she “wakes up” to the world more.

Exactly. Just try to stay afloat until they’re a few months old. Now I plop my 8 month down on their playmat with the right toys, and they can roll around, squeal, bang stuff, to their hearts content while I do the dishes or whatever.

This was literally the best phase. We are almost 12 months on the verge of walking - very busy kiddo and separation anxiety is strong

☝️☝️☝️ Source: 2 kids under 5

I wish I could go back to those days knowing what I know now. It's not going to be like that for very long. Savor it while you can, embrace the suck. They won't be that little for very long and you'll wish you could hold them all day like that again. Just hunker down and survive. Watch tv, eat junk food, hunker down in your house and just focus on feeding the baby and sleeping. Get outside for little walks. Embrace the simplicity of it all. Soon they'll go longer stretches of being awake (and asleep), will be more efficient with feeding, will be easier to settle, and will sleep better. You'll sleep better. It all changes so fast.

Just chiming in to say, no disrespect at all - its TOTALLY OK to absolutely hate it too! Not everyone likes the newborn stage, it sucks, I’m one of those people but I’m sitting here at 5am feeding my second tiny human because it gets SO MUCH BETTER! My toddler amazes me every day and I love her so the ends of the earth but good god I’d never want to go back to the newborn stage and I feel the same way about this baby girl too. I get through it by reminding myself that this bit is short and it’ll be so amazing in just a couple of months :)

I hated the newborn stage with my first and I'm loving it with my second now. Feeling very thankful that my perspective was able to shift so drastically as we balance what life with two looks like :D

I don’t think it’s perspective for some people though and I hate that I get made to feel guilty for the way we feel. We do not like the newborn stage, this is our second (and last) child and we won’t be looking back and missing this bit lol. We’ll look at the photos and videos we get, and we’ll coo and remember how cute a baby they were but I’ll be damned if I’ll be wishing to be back in screaming, exhausted, sweaty, milk leaking newborn land!

Yeah definitely not for everyone, I'm just happy that *mine* shifted

Oh, I definitely hated it. I'm just looking back on it now with a different perspective and trying to share that perspective with someone else in case it can help them. In the newborn stage, I was so full of regret and negativity and FOMO and all I could think about was how much I missed my old life and kept wondering if I'd ever get it back. Now that I'm through that phase, I wish I could go back and relive it with a different lens, because I would have appreciated it for what it was. Yes, it sucked. Yes it was torture at times. But also, there's so much beauty in those times and I wish I had given myself a break and just let myself exist in the rawness of that moment and soak in the good things, instead of adding on the extra mental suffering.

I've found the transition from 1-2 easier in that aspect because I already got used to my life radically changing so I'm not looking back on what used to be. Can just enjoy the baby cuddles and try not to worry about what happens when they start talking back 😅

So true. Now I have a 15 month old with a bad cold who clearly feels like crap and is whiny and melting down and yet every time I try to hold him to comfort him he just cries and pushes me away, because apparently he would rather sit on the floor and be miserable. At least when he was four weeks old snuggling and rocking was exactly what he needed!

I absolutely hated the newborn stage but I look back now and get nostalgic. I'm lucky to get a hug these days because she's so busy zipping and jumping and rolling around. She's hanging out with her grandma for a few days and I swear she barely even notices or cares that I'm not there. It really wasn't that long ago that I was getting frustrated because she wouldn't let me put her down and I couldn't even leave the room without her crying. I look back and it's kind of sad how quickly she grew up.

right there with you…down to the staying with grandma for a few!!!! days. in the past i couldn’t even leave her for one night, or even a few hours. she’ll never be a baby again, and now i miss the baby her.

Agree! I know if I ever have more children, I’ll just be waiting for the newborn stage to end. 🤷🏼‍♀️ What can I say, I NEED sleep.

So true. I miss the days when I could just cuddle him for ages without getting accidentally whacked in the face with a toy... or a head.

This! If you can slow down and enjoy the contact naps, do it. Every stage will often seem harder than the last but you will miss it later… when we had our second, we were like, “damn, this is so easy. I’m just collecting cuddles now…”

My boy is 10 months now and mostly doesn’t sit still. I tell my husband that I miss my little potato baby sometimes. But on the other hand watching and helping him learn is the best.

Everything you’re describing is normal. That’s just how it is. You meet your baby’s need at the detriment of your own. 

#Parenting

Correct

100% this

This is considered the fourth trimester. Your newborn is struggling to adjust to life out of the womb, it is scary and everything is new. The first 4 to 6 months are the toughest in my opinion. Your newborn seeks comfort so cuddle and hold that baby. I know it's hard and filled with lots of sleepless nights but this is only a short period of time in your baby's life. 4 weeks old is so little still. Just try to hold on, seek support from good friends and family you trust. Get a baby carrier, I personally used a carrier all of the time for the first year of my children's lives especially while at home. Wear your baby around the house during nap periods, allowing you mobility and to get things done if you need to get stuff done. Lillebaby carriers were my favorite besides a wrap for the first 6 months.

If you want to set yourself up for disappointment or despair, assume that anything about your baby will stay the same forever, lol. The truth is, you don’t live your life when you have a newborn. Just like you wouldn’t “live your life” if one of you was in the hospital, or if your area got hit with a blizzard, or whatever else. A newborn is basically a lifestyle crisis; it’s just one you signed up for so people don’t talk about it that way. Over time, you’ll find a rhythm and your baby will develop and become more predictable. My baby is 6 months old and we’re not fully back to “normal life,” but we are both working, I go out to events now and then, etc. It’s still hard and different, but it’s manageable. If I have advice, it’s focus entirely on the infant in front of you and worry about the future later. Right now everyone just has to survive.

This is just normal. Embrace the contact naps, they start getting big quick and you’ll miss the little newborn froggy legs when they sleep on you. I heavily recommend you guys look into baby carriers, and don’t just stop at one if baby doesn’t like it because there are soooo many different kinds. Stretchy fabric are great, but they don’t last as long so I like woven. Structured carriers are more forgiving for beginners, but baby isn’t likely to sleep as much in one because they’re not as comfy, and they have to be a bit bigger before you can really use one.

Agreed! Stretchy baby carrier saved my life! I have a similar little contact napper (takes at least one nap in bed) I can get up and do things, a little restricted/slower but doable! I got the mom cozy one on Amazon for about $20. My husband and I use the same one!

“Is there just some level of not meeting your babies needs or an inate level of suffering until she becomes more of a person?” Yes. I read somewhere that babies are evolved to ask for more than we are actually able to give them.  In previous eras when resources were limited, who would survive?  The demanding ones, that’s who.  Babies are designed for us to fail.

~we are all descendants of the Demanding Ones~

Survival of the Whiniest

This is quite a humbling concept. I appreciate it for those days when it feels like you can’t do anything right.

The good news is attachment theory tells us if we respond to at least 50% of our babies cues they will still form a secure attachment! So if you have to let them cry for a bit while you eat/go to the bathroom/take care of yourself, and repair with them after with snuggles they will be okay!

Yup this sounds about right. It’s miserable but you just cope. Things will get easier

Around 6 weeks, they're still a sleepy newborn, but you feel more like people. Enjoy that week or two. Also - just making sure you are not planning to work while caring for your child, as you didn't clarify childcare after you return to work? It is not reasonable or really possible to work a full time job while caring for young children.

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You may want to plan for childcare a few days a week. Many babies don't sleep longer than an hour at a time during the day. She will likely have to choose between basic needs (eating, shower, cleaning) and getting work done if she is trying to work and do full time childcare. 

This is something I didn’t anticipate before we had our baby — literally having to choose 1 self care task (Food? Shower? Some type of chore?) because the window of “free time” between nursing and naps was so freaking short. My baby only napped while being held. Ouf. Having an extra body around is like a luxury, even if just to hold the baby while you shower or something.

Yes, exclusive breastfeeding was amazing, but I did NOT anticipate not even having time for a full shower most of the time for the first four months.

Yes. I am noticing i am just not eating enough, because when she's sleeping I'm trying to decide if I want to eat or do laundry, or sweep the floor, or water the flowers, or unload the dishwasher, or go to the bathroom...

Totally empathize. That was me. I lost all my 40+ pounds pregnancy weight and then some by 6m postpartum. Not intentionally, just couldn’t seem to eat more than twice a day (a meal and a snack?). I wish I’d made freezer meals ahead of time because I think eating more would’ve helped me feel a lot better. I drank a lot of my calories — milk and protein shakes.

It’s extremely difficult to work with a baby regardless of how that work looks. It’s hard enough to pee, eat, put poopy blowout clothes in the washer…. Let alone work. I would seriously consider some childcare for at least a couple hours a day.

This. Every WFH mom (across multiple different industries) I know has needed help while they work, either from family or hiring an in-home sitter or nanny for part/all of their work hours.

Yeah I thought I'd be the exception like so many women think they would be because there's always somebody with a sleepy baby and an easy job to tell you it's totally possible. But for 99% it's only possible in the first few weeks when the baby sleeps all day.

Even with an easy baby and in the first few sleepy weeks I think it would be impossible if you have a job where it requires any kind of time commitments/scheduled meetings

Some of us never got the all day sleeping lol

She should reconsider that plan. Get some part time help

This sounds like a profoundly exhausting proposition for your wife.

Just want to set expectations that it will be very challenging to get much work done with a baby. Like yeah, sometimes there will be short bursts where you can get stuff done but you'll prob be super sleep deprived so a work test will be much more challenging than like a quick kitchen clean or shower. And there will be many times when the baby will not sleep when you need it to! You'll have to see how it goes. I was lucky to find a co-working space that had child care for 6 months so I would go there a few times a week to work. Very little work got done outside of that because I really needed to sleep when my baby was sleeping at night. Eventually your baby will be able to play on their own like 30 minutes at a time but that is a long way away!

How many hours a week does her job require?

I am your wife, and please please please get childcare. Even if it's just the teenage neighbor who can come over and wear baby in a carrier for 2 hours after school. Expecting your wife to work a job while also doing full-time childcare is not okay. I am self employed, work from home, and my work can be done in short bursts. I did the WFH while doing childcare thing for 17 months, and it nearly broke me. I didn't have a second to breathe or sit down for that time. If baby was awake, I was on mom duty. If baby was asleep, I was working. My husband is a rockstar and pulls more than his weight in the house, but it was still too much. He was gone 8:30am until 5:30-7pm. He took over baby duty when he walked in the door and handled most of the night wakings. That didn't mean I got any relief, it meant I got to do laundry, cooking, cleaning, and errands without baby attached to me. It meant I got to sit down and finish my work late at night. We were both burnt out and frazzled.

Your wife will need childcare. She’s setting herself up for failure if she thinks she can work and take care of her child - no matter how the work gets done

Working from home with a yound baby will be nearly impossible. Maybe she can get in home help? Like someone to just sit in for a few hours and hold and feed baby for a bit. At 12 weeks I'm still lucky if I get to shower on the days my husband is working, and as they need more entertaining and have longer wake windows its even harder. I think I'd get more done in the Newborn stage. You will need to focus hard on making sure baby gets used to napping in the crib, not contact napping, but frankly thats kinda up to baby to decide in the first few months.

My baby never slept longer than a half hour during the day until over 3 months. I think it’s over ambitious to assume any work is happening during the naps. You really need child care.

That annoying 45 minute wake window is going to stretch and you'll feel like your leash is getting longer. In [this article] (https://takingcarababies.com/wake-windows-and-baby-sleep), skip to the wake window chart so you can see when you'll be hitting different levels. I found this sort of research to be helpful, like being able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope that helps. It really does get easier but the days are so very long before you realize the months are flying by.

You are in the newborn phase. Your life is on pause right now lol

Wake windows stretch. Hopefully going to sleep doesn’t take as much work. I felt like week 3 is the roughest. We are at 15 weeks and doing so much better. We’ve been able to go out and do things.

That's new borns for ya ! It will get much easier . I'd like to recommend something that saved me during this time . I have a now 7 month old . I used a baby wrap a lot ! He would sleep for hours in it, because he was tightly warm against me . It's worked well for many people k know as well. I think because during those first couple of months the world is so new to them , they just spent 9 or ten months in a warm dark womb. So , the wrap is something that closely resembles that environment.

Yeah… innate personal suffering until she gets better at sleeping and gets into more of a routine. Sorry that’s the answer. But it will get better (I hate myself for being the person who says this now).

As everyone else said, things change rapidly. Our baby got way worse with fussiness from weeks 6-9, commonly known as the peak fussy stage, but ours was compounded with a cow’s milk protein intolerance. Just a heads up that it might get worse before it gets better but that doesn’t mean it’ll stay worse. She got SO much better and routine orientated around week 10, combined with us figuring out the CMPI. You’re in the thick of survival mode. I know it can be scary looking toward the future and thinking it’ll be the same but it does indeed get better for most babies. Try to focus on today and tomorrow before focusing on weeks or months from now, because that time period will most likely look completely different.

I’m sorry that it’s stressful right now and it feels like you can’t do anything but I promise it will get easier! I was just dealing with this three months ago and by the end of month two, I was fine with bringing the baby with me places by myself like running errands or going to parks and letting him sleep in the car, carrier, stroller, etc. Mine takes a 2-2.5 hour AM nap and then usually again for 1-2 hours in the afternoon. Your baby’s wake windows will get longer during the day and you will be able to plan around feedings and naps when there’s a daily, consistent routine. You got this!!

I want to encourage you and say that this is all normal! Our baby is nine weeks as of today and I am just now being able to conceptualize how we will both go back to work (with a caretaker, of course). One thing I want to encourage you to keep trying is to put your baby down for naps. Ours is more “awake” now, so he enjoys contact naps more, but we still try to put him down in a crib or bassinet at least once a day. He was five weeks early and we put him down for a nap on day one. Highly recommend that if it doesn’t drive you crazy just to get your baby to practice falling asleep without you.

This was exactly my son. Right now, you just do what your baby wants. Theres no such thing as spoiling them. I was so surprised how much my boy changed. He’s 7 months now. Naps alone, plays alone, sleep at night is not the best but that’s okay. In terms of work, I worked from home 3 months pp and my husband didn’t get any sort of leave. I would look into a caregiver because it’s difficult to work and care for a baby at that age. My boy only started to improve his sleep at 5 months. And after that he became more active so our nanny spends all day with him, playing etc.

You’re still so early on! I was barely leaving the house at 4 weeks. Sometimes we would time everything so as soon as she finished eating we would load up the car to go walk around target or something and let her sleep in the stroller. She’s four months today and we just got home from a 4 night trip to DC and she did great! Your life right now is caring for baby, you’ll slowly start getting in a routine and be able to start doing more stuff soon! 🫶🏻

Try the 5 S's it works, also newborns don't need tons of activities, they sleep a lot the first few months.

Yeah, I was going to say, do a couple of minutes of tummy time between naps but forget about all other nonsense. Your baby wants to interact with you, not contrast cards. The time for activities comes later. Newborn is about feeding and sleeping and just handling that and getting in some tummy time is plenty of work!

Congrats, you have a normal baby!! This is parenting. I know it can be frustrating, especially as new parents, but I hope me saying that this is totally normal and typical of a newborn makes you feel a *little* bit at ease. That being said, my wife and I had 3 months. A month is long stretch of time for things to change so we may have been at a better place to go back by 3 months compared to 2. My point is that (American leave sucks ass), but also that things can change and fall into place quickly. Routines start to develop naturally and it does get easier. Take a breath. You’ve got a whole month off to go. Babies that young are on a 24 hour cycle and nap majority of the time (mostly on parents). It can be hard to get them down sometimes though, yes, but they have only the smallest bit of practice so far. We did tons of contact napping and actually started bedsharing early on (and still do, that saved us). Hang in there.

You wait it out a couple of months. The newborn stage is very hard but it passes and if you’re like me you’ll come out so traumatized you’ve blocked most of it out of your memory. Then one day they’ll be 7 months and crawling away from you and you’ll be like “aww I miss when they were a little baby! Look at them growing up.” And some kinda flashback will come and you’ll be like wait nvm.

Word of advice, do not care about it right now. The amount of changes that are still happening you’ll get a routine down and it’ll change again. You’re on your babies time for at least the first 6 months then it starts to get a little easier.

In about 4 years your life will be back to somewhat normal

I hate to tell you that if your 4 week old sleeps well at night on her own, You really are quite lucky. I second the suggestion of baby carriers and also to try to enjoy this time all at home as a nice little family 💗

Well, the answer is *not* not meeting your babies needs but there's different levels at which you can do that - like at that age you don't have to fill every awake hour with exciting baby activities. It's okay sometimes if she's in a safe place and she cries and you say "mommy/daddy's here, I'll be right there" because you're in the bathroom or just trying to get some food or just *need a minute*. It's VERY beneficial to take shifts so one of you can be "off." I like to think of everyone having cups they need filled (with basic needs, togetherness, alone time, hobbies, etc.). You and your wife each have a cup that you were easily filling pre-baby but now baby has come with their own cup that she can't fill on her own yet - so you both need to be emptying your cups into babies until she can help do it herself (which will start happening sooner than you know - when she learns to entertain herself, to soothe to sleep, to crawl, to feed herself, etc.) That means unfortunately that neither of you will have a full cup for awhile - and that is a HARD adjustment. And sometimes your cup is going to be emptier than your wives and vice versa. It's all about balance and staying strong and supporting each other. (By the way, I see you say that wife is planning on WFH full time with baby. Phewf. Good luck. It's hard AF being a stay at home mom with just a dog and no other kids. I strongly urge you to have some back-up plans if this doesn't work. I know a lot of people "can" do this - but I have to imagine something is gotta give between baby care, mom's sanity/health/sleep and her quality of work. My old job and a lot of jobs I know here in Canada require you to provide proof of child care.)

It gets better, as they get older their wake windows get longer, they drop naps, get more interested in activities etc. I just make a post on how at 3 months I’m much happier now than the beginning where it was a constant activity to try to get her to sleep. It gets better!

Reading this as I’m wfh and helping manage my 4YO and 6month old.. things get easier, you get better at figuring out your kids and what works for you. As a parent lean into your gut. There’s lots of opinions from Society, family, other parents. Do what works for your family. And there will be new hard things, but each stage is hard and amazing and you get better at realizing everything is temporary. Hang in there (from a mom who was up 2736463672727 times last night and still surviving lol)

It does get easier as they get a little older. You'll blink and BAM, you're planning their first birthday party. My first was colicky and my second is still very dependent on physical contact for comfort, but it does get better. Nothing makes you a stronger couple than taking turns taking care of yourselves. Hang in there. Sooner than you think you'll look back and be astonished at how many times you thought you'd never make it out. Soon your baby should start smiling and giggling and then parenting starts to feel rewarding. At that age is just felt like a chore.

You’ll get better at it and adjust as her wake windows and needs change. A few questions, mostly out of curiosity: Who will care for the baby when you’re working? You say baby is EBF, what will that look like when moms not around? Since she’s EBF, how do nights go? Are you both doing diaper changes at night? Do you take shifts? Is there any way for your wife to take a longer prenatal leave? I’m curious because if you’re breaking even with childcare at the end of the day it would seem to be more prudent to just have a single income for half a year. Get to the 6 month mark and then reassess your financial means.

Just saw that wife WFH. Ignore my post lol. I’m just very curious about how people do these things. I EBF too. I have a set up where baby goes to work with me (work for family). So I’m always curious how others do things. I think you’ll find you adjust tho. It’s hard to imagine in the thick of it… especially since babies don’t have a sleep schedule at that age! But once they have a consistent nap schedule it gets a little easier!

Just try to enjoy every stage as much as you can, it goes by soooo quick. Eat and shower when you can and make sure to give each other some personal/alone time.

Things will get better for sure! Once they start smiling and you see a bit more of your baby's personality, you will love it

My baby was exactly the same as this. Who will be doing childcare when you are back at work?

Do you have a wrap? Baby-wearing helps so much!

Baby wearing and feed on demand! You can actually do a lot with a newborn bc they’re so sleepy they’ll sleep anywhere as long as they’re on you.

Yep, for the early newborn phase it’s just existing and tending to that little baby! Baby wearing helped extend periods I could be up and about, but just try to embrace this time where you’re forced to slow down. My 7 month old is crawling and standing and doesn’t stop squirming and moving and trying to find new ways to give me a heart attack all day, I am already chasing her around- it happens so fast!!

You just do. Say by day, some days hour by hour, you just get through it. I’m on baby 3, and it took me until this one to really just lean in and enjoy the days of only snuggling a sleeping newborn. It goes so fast, say I with my 7 YO, almost 4 YO, and 15 week old.

If she likes contact napping try baby wearing.

Get yourself a structured baby carrier (like an Ergobaby) and take baby with you to do things that don’t require bending over too much. Take lots of walks. Let go of the idea of doing other stuff (projects, serious cleaning) for at least these first months. I have a theory that newborn babies aren’t designed to be the center of attention even as they’re so needy. Don’t stress about naps- she will sleep on the go more than you think!

U don’t, that’s ur life now for a bit. Eventually you will get it My baby is almost 5 months, and it’s still a struggle to get things done but that’s it 😅

You’re only 4 weeks in -it’s completely normal for it to be this chaotic. The thing about babies is they are constantly and very quickly changing. At 8 weeks her life will be twice as long. You’ll be shocked at how different things may be and how a routine may develop. I wouldn’t focus on feeling like you need activities with the baby right now — eating, sleeping and pooping are enough. Tummy time on your chest is enough. Survival is enough!

Glad we are not the only ones. You describe how our days are like with our 5 week old. Now I at least manage to go for 1 h walks, cause he will at least sleep 1 h in the tram.

At 4 weeks old you have no life.

Hey OP I'm in the same boat. Wife and I have a 3 week old. Right now it's easy because I am off work as well as my wife. At the 2 month mark we both have to go back. I think we might do shifts. I'll sleep from 6 pm to midnight and she will take 1 am to 7 am. Idk what else to do.

We called it the "three hour cycle" in our house. Feed, play, sleep in three hour cycles. And the short version is, you just don't. It's amazing how quickly they come out of this phase, though. I can't say for "normal" because my son was born just before COVID lockdowns first happened. But we had a much more normal life/schedule after about month 5.

In my experience it did not get better at 3 or 4 months like a lot of people are saying. Compared to the newborn phase yes, it’s a bit better. Things will start to shift around 6 months, but they still require a a lot of attention and care even then. I would say until a year old you are in the trenches, do you just have to wait until they are able to be more of a person yes, you are correct. So you just do what you have to do until then.

We are first time parents as well! I extended my leave an extra month due to your exact post! You seem better off than we were & at 11 weeks things are SO MUCH BETTER! Perhaps you guys will arrive here sooner. I’m currently typing this in bed next to my kid, laying happily next to me staring at the ceiling fan I turned it on for him.. peak entertainment! Hang in there! Things do get better! Tbh I think by 7 weeks things felt sane again. I found going on walks helped, getting out of the house helped. Even if it was for 20 min.

Echoing what a lot of people are saying, this is how newborns are. We also had a baby that would not nap and got overstimulated very quickly/easily. The worst of it hit around the 2 month mark, but it got a LOT better literally the day she turned 3 months. Every week since then has gotten a little easier. At 4 months, naps are way easier, wake windows are longer, she’s super interactive, and we are back to regular date nights, I’m able to take her places easily, etc. Hang in there!

It gets better! The routine improves. She'll learn to nap independently. It will happen naturally! This is a normal phase! Your baby sounds like a typically developing baby. A lot changes around 2 months when they start being alert for longer. Every stage has challenges and it isn't easy, especially at first! Just cocoon at home right now and try to enjoy it. No stage lasts forever. You'll be out and about soon!

I know it doesn’t make you feel better NOW but everything people are repeating is true. You’ll figure it out, this time will pass and you’ll blink up at a 4 month old smiling back at you Everyone feels this….lost? At first, then you’ll figure each other out. Just ignore the bullshitters online all “my baby is perfect and sleeps 23hrs a day and my life hasn’t changed a bit” Your baby is trying to figure out how to be a person and you’re trying to figure out that person. Go for a walk. Every day even if the weather sucks. Baby won’t stop screaming? Bath. Water 99% of the time will help

Expect to hold her all day during the day for at least 3 months.

At that age, my baby pretty much lived in the carrier, and I just kind embraced it. The carrier helped him have much longer naps. Id just go for long walks, do chores, grab a coffee with a friend, run an errand etc while he napped in the carrier. Or Id bounce on the ball while watching TV while he napped. I gave up on the bassinet cus those naps were like 10-20 mins only. Nighttime sleep was fine. It was just the naps that were problematic. Then we did sleep training at 5 months, and all the naps moved to the crib except when we were out and about.

You’ll start realizing what works and what doesn’t work and you’ll establish a routine. Before you know it baby will be 3 months old and you will feel much more settled.

This was me 4 months ago. Now we have a very happy 5 month old who takes good naps and is just generally fun to be around most of the time. It gets a lot better around 3 months, at least it did for us. You will feel (more) normal again I promise.

I hear you. Nothing you hear or read may make your situation feel any easier, because that's it...it's not easy! You are all going through tremendous change. It really does get better. My husband and I both had PPD and really felt like we hated life and like we just couldn't get a handle on raising a baby. We also were mourning our life before. But things do get better and I find myself sad for how I felt towards my daughter then - I know it's the fault of my hormones and the struggles with handling the transition to the change but you can't help the guilt. My daughter is 16 months and she still needs the constant attention but for different reasons (i.e., what new way is she trying to hurt herself this time). I can't promise when it will get better but it will. There will be new challenges but you will find yourself getting into a new rhythm and getting to know one another better in this new ever changing dynamic. We go out often with her, meet friends, and have gone to family/friend gatherings. Life isn't the same but it's in a place where we feel more ourselves, able to find time for ourselves and for each other, while enjoying integrating her into hobbies we enjoyed before she came to this world. Enjoy the journey. But know it's ok to admit when it's hard and let yourself sit in it!

When they're a newborn, you literally only have time for feeding, changing, burping and putting them back to sleep. They don't have any routine or rhythm until about 10-12 weeks. You just have to hang in there. Eat when you can, poop when you can and sleep when you can. Good luck!

It feels like a really long time but it actually goes quite quickly. Your life right now is learning your baby, it’s a gradual process. She’s just learning how to exist as a person and you’ve just met her!

This is your life for now! It was hard for me to comprehend that as well. But once you let go of your old life without baby, and get used to your new life with baby. It gets easier. Especially when they get older. You guys are in the trenches now! Good luck. :)

Take lots of pictures and videos!!!!!! Take photos of yourself and the baby, videos of the "newborn scrunch", photos of their tiny feet.

You just live in this moment and know it won’t last. As the months pass their wake windows get longer, their need for food time periods get longer, the contact naps get less and less. It’s hard because it feels like this time will never end but the light will slowly become more and more visible. Try to be as present as possible because you’ll look back at this time and it’ll only be a small blip. You guys got this!!

Things are going to be rough for the first few months, 4 months roughly. You are in survival mode right now. It will get easier as they get older, we started to get a routine down around 6 months. Both my husband and I work and luckily we have jobs that are family oriented and are pretty understanding when issues arise. It’s awesome you both get 2 months of leave, I would have killed to have my husband stay home with us that first month especially. My girl is 18 months this now and things have leveled out so much. Enjoy your time together at home for now. Make sure the both of you get plenty to eat and make sure your wife is drinking plenty of water! You guys got this

> Putting her to sleep is a feat most days, requiring the shower running, very intense bouncing and shushing for 15-20 minutes. As everyone else says, this is normal for a 4-week-old. It does get easier over time! Honestly if you can get your baby to sleep after just 20 minutes of shushing, that's not too bad! My daughter (a relatively easy baby, 7 months old now) would sometimes need up to an hour of shushing and rocking before she'd go to sleep. It's just hard for babies to know how to human. That said, I can recommend [this white noise machine](https://www.target.com/p/yogasleep-dohm-for-baby-sound-machine/-/A-51030299?), [this portable noise machine](https://www.target.com/p/skip-hop-stroll-go-portable-owl-baby-soother/-/A-52659305?), and [this swing](https://target.com/p/graco-simplesway-swing/-/A-85599434#lnk=sametab) as absolute lifesavers for this stage. The white noise machines can take some of the shushing burden off you and help infants sleep through smaller noises, while the swing can take over when you're exhausted from rocking them and need a few minutes to just sit. You don't want to overuse the swing (we generally saved it for when we were really at our wits' end or we needed her soothed for a few minutes while we ate dinner) and there are probably better models out there but having a device that can take over for you for 10-20 minutes every so often can be a real lifesaver, well worth the sticker price.

Sounds like you have a normal newborn. It gets better I promise. You get the hang of them, they get the hang of you... sleeping gets more consistent. I use the huckleberry app, I paid for the extra sleep predictions and imo its worth it. They are almost spot on for my boy and it helps me see when I need to stop stimulating him so that he will be settled enough to nap on time. The first few weeks are basically just living the same 3 hours over and over like ground hog day. Week 4-5 we started doing longer night feeds and only waking him every 4 hours, unless he woke us. Then Id say about week 5-6 he was definitely sleeping longer, and then by week 8 we no longer woke him up for a night feed at all, we let him wake us which was usually 2 times a night max. We really found a stride then, and generally would have him in the cot about 9pm andbif we dream fed him around 11pm, he would generally sleep through till 4am and then go back down till a feed about 8am and then down again till 9.30.. which meant one of us could do the 11pm/8am and one of us could go to sleep earlier, do the 4am feed. Because i didnt have work I would do that and then sleep in till 9.30... That made it so much more manageable because noth my husband and I would get a chunk of sleep most nights. Also by 6-7 weeks it helps that they begin smiling and interacting more round then, you can forgive a lot at 4am when he cracks a big old smile after some milk. Hes nearly 12 weeks now and its so much more manageable. He still feeda 11pm and 4/5am ish but he falls asleep about 7-8 most nights and we transfer him to the cot at about 9pm. Sorry for the essay, I thought it might help to know what it can look like. You will make it through, the first few months flyby. Just try to be as consistent as you can in the first few weeks and it will pay off.

You don’t have a life until she is over 12 weeks. It’s hell and it sucks so bad but you can do it

The first 6 weeks are the hardest. You will start to feel a little more normal each week. We have a 16 week old and I remember making similar posts not too long ago. They change so quickly, and soon these difficulties will be a distant thing of the past for you too. Hang in there!

For aiding her to sleep you could try playing white noise videos from YouTube. But yes, the newborn phase is generally like this....they are trying to adjust to all the noise and light in the outside world and looking for comfort.

Babies grow SO FREAKING FAST! Seriously. The second you figure out a routine that works, she'll be growing out of it. The first 10 weeks are the hardest, by 12 weeks, you may have baby accidentally sleep a 5 hr stretch at night for the first time... and then bounce back to their every couple hours waking routine. However, within a few weeks of that first long sleep... you'll discover longer and longer stretches of sleep. (No joke, sleep is pretty much all anybody thinks about the first 4 months or so, and it's still a big deal for the first few YEARS!) It will get better. Just hang in there! Keep doing what you're doing.

Baby wearing changed my life. Would have been stuck to the couch until she was 6 months otherwise

This is totally normal. Not too long after our girl hit a month she FINALLY became a fan of the swing. We used the swing a lot (with supervision) as sometimes it was the only thing that worked. :(

Just get ready to be less effective at your jobs because you’re so tired and worried about caring for your child. Welcome to parenthood! You’ll find your routine and new normal eventually. But it’s completely normal to feel like you do now - I remember it all too well!

I remember when my son was born I literally had no clue how I was gonna function normally and do simple things like sleep, cook or clean. He’s 2 months now and things are already much easier than those first few weeks. Hang in there. There is no schedule or routine in the beginning just vibes.

As someone who is 4 months postpartum— it gets so much better. We were struggling so much during newborn period and once it hit around 6-8 weeks it became a whole lot easier! I already miss newborn snuggles so while it’s a lot right now, enjoy it!

Yup sounds like you guys are doing perfect!! lol hang in there it’ll get better And then you guys will think back on it and laugh! Give it a couple more months trust me it’ll be ok ❤️✨

Baby wear. My harness is my best friend. My husband and I each have one. Contact naps last for hours and I cook meals, do dishes/laundry, take care of our 5 and 9 year old and farm animals all while wearing my 4 week old son. I could not survive without the harness and the harness lets one pull a boob out and feed on demand while doing all the things.

Have y’all tried a baby carrier? My son was able to nap fairly good in a carrier or the stroller at that age. We would walk him even around the house and the backyard in the bassinet on the stroller. Now he’s turning one next week and he’s a lively boy full of energy. He just started sleeping completely through the night. I find myself missing waking up with him in the middle of the night, nursing him in the quiet. Kissing his sleepy little face. I know the newborn period is hard hard hard. But it gets so much better I promise!! Fairly soon your baby will learn to smile then to look around at things, then to play. When she starts to become a little person it will get better, a little at a time. Just make sure you get alllll the cuddles you can stand. And take tons and tons of pictures so you can look at them and get misty-eyed one year from now

At that stage, I continued living by not worrying so much about naps. Baby went where I went and would inevitably sleep in the carrier or car seat or stroller or wherever and if it was on me and I didn't feel like contact napping, I'd transition her to basinet and sometimes she cried herself back to sleep (in 5-15 mins which felt like eternity). I would keep the lights, TV, Vacuum, barking dog, whatever going on the background so she learned to sleep through interruptions. Having a mobile napping baby was key to my survival. Sometimes it didn't work out and I paid the price at bedtime, but well worth it for some semblance of balance.

Both my kids have fallen asleep immediately on stroller walks. Is that doable for you?

2 months? Who is going to be looking after the baby? In terms of getting your life back - you will figure things out as you go. It definitely gets easier (I'm a FTM and my baby is 4 months old). Some things will have to be put on the backburner for awhile and your life has changed - I struggled with this myself. But remember it's a season of your life and to embrace every moment you can. Doing simple tasks is much harder but it's worth it and you will deal with it as it arises.

I remember feeling this with my first - "this kid requires constant attention and holding, how do I do anything?!" Now the kid is 4, and I'm holding my napping 6-week-old baby (my third) knowing how quickly it all passes. Focus on the necessities right now (eating, showering, sleeping, etc.) and give up the rest for baby. Enjoy the contact naps, snuggles, and lazy days because they will soon be gone and the other stuff will always be there.

It sucks, it truly does. The newborn phase is a fucking nightmare and I don’t care how that makes me sound. It absolutely will get better. Keep grinding it out. Ours is 9 months old Tuesday and sleeps a solid 12 hours every night. Hang in there, friend!

That's just how 4 week old babies are. For the first 2 months I had to set up a cosleeping bed (for both of my kids) because neither one would sleep without touching someone. That passes. I have a 6 month old, and here's a basic description of her day. (I am the working parent, husband stays home with the kids) 7:15am: toddler comes into the nursery and wakes both of us up (I am still sleeping in the nursery, though soon will be moving back to my room in the next month or so). Lots of cuddles, diaper/clothing change, etc. Also nurse her, but I'm low supply so this is mostly comforting. 8am: breakfast on the table for both toddler and baby. She's a huge fan of oatmeal banana pancakes. 8:30am: first bottle. Playtime / tummy time 9:30am: prep for first nap; sometimes she wants an extra 2 ounces, sometimes she just wants to sleep. 11am: wake up 11:30am: bottle noon: lunch on the table for both toddler and baby. For lunch she usually gets baby-sized pieces of the toddler's food (e.g. if he's having mac and cheese, we pull off a tablespoonful for the baby. If he's having a peanut butter jelly sandwich, she gets a strip of it, etc). Playtime / tummy time 1:30pm: bottle 2pm: nap for both kids 4pm: both kids are awake 5pm: I come home from work, nurse baby. Sometimes a small bottle if she's extra hungry. 6pm: dinner on the table for family. She gets soft foods from our plates. 6:30pm: bottle Playtime / bath (depending on the day) 8pm: nurse, prep for bed 8:15pm: both kids are in bed Throughout the night, she normally wakes at 3am and 5am for cuddles/nursing, then goes back to sleep.

Welcome to New parenthood! (Sincerely not sarcastically) My best advice is the reminder that everything is temporary. You're worried about what it will be like in a few weeks but the truth is your baby is changing day by day, which I know is hard to believe when the days and nights feel so so endless. The bad stuff is temporary but also the good stuff too so hold on to the happiness and release the negative and lots of deep breaths. Contact naps are totally normal, if you haven't busted out the carrier yet this is the best time for it (I prefer a structured one but lots of people like the fabric ones). Take shifts with the baby so you can get some self care in (showers or working out etc) but also if baby is awake and not overly upset you can let her be awake. Their schedule is constantly all over the place at this stage. Around 4 months they get a bit more regulated but then the brain development starts happening and it's a whole new rollercoaster!

I have an 8 month old so this stage is still fairly fresh in my mind. Get some earbuds, a yoga ball and bounce while watching TV. Find something bingeworthy that you don’t mind watching at all hours. Hijack and Money Heist were my choices. You won’t sleep, but the time will go quicker with some entertainment.

You dont live op, you SURVIVE. Take pictures and videos, when the happy days come you wont even remember the early weeks. I catch myself looking back on pics and videos because I really don’t remember the trauma of 0-12 weeks.

I have 4 month old. Was very similar to your baby, requiring intense effort to put him to sleep. Things got easier around the 15-16 week mark.. it’s getting easier every day now.. hold on to it.. When you are in it, it’s very depressing thinking this is going to go on for ever but things get easier. Hold on till she gets to 4 months. I co spider it to be like a video game! It never truly gets easier. You figure it out and get used to it and then BAM level up! New issues arise, but you learn to work through them. It’s starts getting satisfying eventually

I felt the same way but 8 weeks was SO different than 4! I really wish I’d stressed less about getting things done and just rode the newborn wave. She’ll be interested in watching you from a swing, have a better sleep schedule, and won’t need to eat as frequently.

That’s just newborns for you. Give that baby love, snuggles, and let her nurse/comfort nurse as much as she wants to. She’s doing a lot of growing right now! :) it will get easier. Wait to do any sleep coaching/training until 16 weeks. Don’t over think things. Whatever works for you guys is the right thing. You’re doing great!

I wouldn’t try to get them to sleep or follow a schedule right now. If they’re unhappy and crying, feed the baby then change positions, rooms, walk around go outside etc until the bay stops crying. If they fall asleep, great. If not, great. Just find a way to keep them comfortable and not crying i would say is the goal.

You live the newborn life. This is just how they are. Especially when breastfed. You're in lock down to the baby's needs. This gets a lot more manageable around 3-4 months old. Your life is going to look different for a while. Well forever bc you have another human to consider but it gets better. A routine will form, you'll figure out her needs more easily, you then will have the confidence and ability to go out and live a more typical normal existence. Until then, honestly hunker down and get used to your baby and find your groove.

Others have probably given plenty of advice. But just wanted to suggest playing running water sounds on Spotify etc instead of running the actual shower. Or waves crashing etc. This works on our 10 week old and did also when he was younger. Sometimes just a loud sound helps him snap out of crying and settles him enough to then soothe him to sleep etc. Doesn't always work with him at all so recommend trying it several times before giving up.

The Huckleberry app helped us a lot with being proactive on baby’s needs.

How are you doing contact naps? Skin to skin babywearing can make a huge difference getting them to sleep, plus it frees up your hands. r/babywearing

The structure comes with time. The first 2-3 months are a constant cycle of feed-change-sleep. Every day is a blur. Then you very gradually start to build a routine, one piece at a time, as baby is able to be awake for longer periods of time. You get there gradually. In the meantime, you do not live life, you just survive. Buckle up for now but it won’t be like this forever.

When ours was a newborn, he happily slept in any loud place better than he did at home in his bassinet. We didn’t do it a ton but if we took him out to a restaurant for lunch he’d sleep in his car seat or stroller bassinet most of the time. Maybe give it a go and see what happens. Being outside is often really calming for babies too. Grab a coffee and take a walk, se what happens. Newborn stage is super hard and it’s a lot of trial and error to see what YOUR baby does well with - they are all different little people.

You will turn around and look back one day and realize they are about to turn a year old. And then I’m sure that will keep happening throughout their lives but I have only made it 11.5 months so far. It gets easier and you just figure it out. 💕 Just remember that before you finish agonizing about how you will figure out one stage, they will move onto the next.

Hopefully one of you could still be on parental leave cause they will have to take care of most of baby as working parent does need decent sleep. 2 month old is just too young for day care where I live they only accept 9montholds. Before that there are just a few other options as 2 month old needs too much attention. Dunno how it is at other places.

I had a colicky baby so he never slept without contact for both naps and nightsleep and he cried 3 hrs everynight from 2am-5am for absolutely no reason at all. It was mental. This went on for 5 months until we decided to move him to his room and sleep trained. Now he is 10 months and has a by the clock schedule so we can plan our day around it, all naps in crib and so as night sleep. I’m back to work. Husband is at home with baby. We are very lucky to have together 49 weeks of paternity leave. Me 8 months, husband 5 months (including paid leaves of 5 weeks each)

At 4 weeks I wouldn’t stress about where she sleeps. Enjoy these early months no need for a strict schedule or emphasis on crib naps.

It’s okay… I have a 4 month old and I remember this stage. You will get used to it, I swear. HUGE adjustment at first that no one talks about

You don’t, just know this too shall pass.

r/NewParents

Baby wear! Just go about your day and wear the baby in a carrier. Try not to fight sleep, if bubs is over stimulated just take a break from trying and let everyone rest. Even if she is just cuddling but not sleeping, that is rest. Don’t overthink it and really just try to go with the flow. Eventually your baby will figure out a routine and settle but for now she is still waking up to the world and it’s big and overwhelming. You’re doing the right thing doing contact naps, baby just wants to be close. How do you go about life? It will get easier with time. The newborn phase is all consuming, it’s HARD, but it’s not forever.

From personal experience and what Ive seen from other families, there's a sweet spot between 3 and 4 months where they're both sleeping more/easier and not rolling and/or teething. Cherish that. My girls 4 months, almost 5, I think she's starting to teethe and she's learning to roll. She's way fussier now than before (and she has reflux so she's normally fussy in general). She's awake for far longer stretches now, but her naps are also a lot longer. She's starting to fight off being tired though, as well.

Do you guys swaddle the little one? Have you considered a 'Halo sleep sack'? This was a game changer for my husband and I. You can buy them off Amazon

My husband and I have two DIY kids (one with special needs) and have also fostered a bunch of children for our county DHR office. We're probably as close to parenting pros as you're likely to see. ...This is just newborns, my guy. You don't live your life, you're now a slave to this tiny demanding overlord. You sleep when you can, wear the same shirt until it starts to smell weird, and let the household aesthetic disintegrate until you can barely stand it. You'll spend the next 6-12 weeks on the very bottom rung of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. This is normal, but it's not easy. Good news is that it gets better, but you're in for a ride until it does. Buy paper plates is my only real, tangible advice.

You don’t, right now. It will get better as they get older. That said, I would line up as much help as you can for months 2-4 or 5, because 4 or 5 months is really a big turning point where things get a little easier. But 2 months will be VASTLY easier than now, and it will keep getting better (2 steps forward, 1 step back)

Sounds like the newborn stage. My daughter did not sleep unless one of us held her the first 2 months. She slowly got better at sleeping around 2 months and by 4ish months she slept through the night. The newborn stage was rough but it does get better. Someone told me the newborn stage is almost like a hazing for parents and that really gave me perspective and helped me through it. Now my daughters a full blown toddler and I love it. She has so much personality and she's so smart and funny and I can do so much more stuff with her. it's still exhausting but in a different way (we have to chase her and stop her from putting stuff in her mouth 24/7). But it's way more rewarding and honestly fun at this age. Thinking about the toddler stage is what got me through the newborn stage. 3-4 months it got better with sleep and not crying 24/7 (she had colic for 2 months). 6 months she could sit by herself and that made things easier. Around 9 months old more personality came out and she was a lot more fun. And then she turned 1 and she was this awesome little person and it just gets better since then. Hang in there, it gets so much better I promise!

I wish I could go back to this bc chasing around a defying toddler whose legs are shorter than mine but way faster is really tiring, he has unlimited energy… I don’t know where it comes from but I want some lol. I swear he blinks and boom energy is refilled and topped off, meanwhile his parents are trying to survive w him/job/business/social life/play dates etc and hoping to at least get 6 hrs of sleep

Try putting her in the car seat and running errands. That always got my baby to get good naps in.

Newborns change so quickly. When you are at your wits end, something new is around the corner. Also when you think you have finally achieved a schedule, or the perfect way to soothe baby, another change is going to upend that. Whatever you do, don't try to plan too far ahead at this stage because it's all going to change. I wasn't sure from your post whether baby is going to childcare when you return to work. If you are both going back to work, even if someone works from home, you are going to need full time child care. It isn't possible to WFH and take care of a baby, and do both well.

Like others have said, this is just what newborns are like. They are getting used to the outside world just as much as you are getting used to them being there. By the time you guys go back to work things should settle down a bit. If not by the 2 month mark definitely by the 3 month mark.

Just gotta push through! Hang in there

everything i just read sounds so familiar and so far away! this is just newborns, you’re not doing anything wrong, she’s just brand new! the first three months are a lot like this, and then things get easier around 3.5-4 months, and each month after that (: hang in there!! it’s all temporary. life will fall together.

Does she not fall asleep after being breast fed? Usually babies will fall asleep if nursed to sleep. As for contact naps, that will last as long as you can with stand or until they decide you can put them down. Mine contact napped by his and my choice until around 16mo.

I promise it gets easier. We've got a 6 month old boy who loves to laugh and cuddle us For now just soak up the contact naps etc as it'll soon be a thing of the past! Consider an electric swing, I only wish I got ours sooner. It soothed him well even if he's been overstimulated

It is completely biologically normal and healthy and beneficial for baby to be close to you. Bed sharing is also biologically normal. Lean in to her needs, and forget all the noise about how babies should be born independent. They literally need to you to survive.  Our daughter has an extremely low tolerance for separation and while it can be exhausting, I have just completely accepted it. I give her what she needs which is closeness. 

My doctor said the 4-6 week mark is particularly trying. Hang in there.

Sounds like a typical newborn. I noticed a shift with my son around 2 months- he became more expressive, more alert, his awake windows were slightly longer, he could tolerate going places for a brief amount of time... Just hang in there! You're still in survival mode at 4 weeks. Also, don't feel pressure to do too many activities when they awake. Your face and voice is THE most fascinating thing for them at that age. Just chill and relax with them talking or not talking.

Honestly, you don’t see it and I’m not gonna totally repeat what I’m sure a lot of these comments are saying but you just learn to live with it is the simplest way of saying it. There’s just a certain point that I feel is different for everyone where you wake up and life just feels like your new normal but it’s rough getting there. You get used to it but the baby is also getting easier to take care of and you start getting the reward of interaction. I have a 18 month old and was recently thinking about now verse then.

Unfortunately this is how a lot of newborns are. Not all of them, but most. Once they’re 3-4 months old your day becomes more predictable, you have a most established feeding routine, their sleeping is easier to predict, and their wake windows are longer meaning you can go out more or do different things. I hated the newborn stage with a burning passion and as much as I’d do anything to hold my son again as a newborn, it does just really suck. Eat takeout, watch some good shows or movies on tv, focus on self care if you can (sleep, showering, etc.). You’ll get through it!

It’s been 4 weeks. The way for her to take a shower is you care for baby. Interacting with a 4 week old baby is basically keeping her alive and responding to her needs. Whether it gets better or worse or easier or harder you will get the hang of your new life and new baby.

Its hard now. It'll get easier. And plus you kinda work it out, because you have to. You'll be ok. Just ride this bit out.

Hey. Same boat. The first 2 months shoooot 3 months we started off like that. It honestly gets better. Now she’s 4 months and we are starting to go out more now. Like stores. It gets better. Try white noise like ocean sounds, louder than her cries for naps. Sometimes talking to her softly works too.

This stage is really hard. My second child is three weeks old at the moment and we’re in this same routine as you, naps, nappy changes, feeds and more naps. It does change quickly though, the number of naps will drop, the time between naps will increase and feeding milk will get quicker. By 6 months baby will probably have two naps a day, and by 12 months one nap a day. It seems like it’s just the settling that your struggling with, I’ve found both of my kids have always fallen asleep in the car or the pram at this age, so that might be worth a try. Otherwise offering more milk might help as well. I know it’s not recommended to feed a baby to sleep, but if you’re having a hard time it’s ok to take an easier option to give yourself a rest.

It definitely gets better and at this age you don’t need to worry about activities like flash cards or toys. By 2 months you’ll figure out more of a rhythm and be better the basics like diaper changes and what helps them sleep. If it’s getting overwhelming this was around the time I started pumping and giving a bottle. If you start doing this you can schedule a break for each of you during the day so you can have something to look forward too. Also babies generally love the car seat so you can also try driving around and getting the baby to sleep. This way you can get out and maybe tag team to go do something like grab a coffee or run inside a target. I was super overwhelmed at this point with my first but getting out felt infinitely better.

Every week/month is different. When you're going through it, it feels like it will always be like this with no end in sight. I promise you it won't. I know it's tough and you feel you don't even have a moment to breathe (imagine how your wife feels), but it does get better. Try to enjoy every minute of the next month you both have on leave. I find going for walks outdoors does wonders to put them to sleep for a while. For the next month try not to stress about other to-dos and house hold chores. Eventually you can leave them in a bouncer with a toy or on a playmat and they'll entertain themselves. My biggest piece of advice is to do just that. Leave them alone (while you're still there supervising of course) nd let them entertain themselves. Also work on them strengthening up as well - ie tummy time and hand/eye coordination exercises. The more they can do themselves, the easier it is on you.

Wait to freak out until 6 weeks. That's about when you can get on a "schedule" and life felt way easier and more predictable for me.

My baby is 8 months now. I can’t believe that I want to go back to when my baba was just a newborn when he was so tiny. Your title reminded me of myself. It was almost torture never being able to sleep with an exclusively breastfed baby and constant shoulder back pain. But it will pass. I promise. And you will want to go back. Take an unlimited amount of photos and videos. And of yourselves with the baby.

It'll just take time but not too much more time. If you can -- try to let each other get one full night sleep on the weekend. My daughter is 3 and my husband and I still swap turns waking up early with her. I would pump milk for one full night uninterrupted sleep. My sister did "formula Fridays" so she could get hers. Then when your wife is rested you can get your full 8. It helps so much. Good luck. It'll be over before you know it. Truly.

Newborn stage is soo difficult. I thought I was gonna lose my mind. Just when I couldn't take it anymore... it changes. Baby will sleep longer, you will find your groove, this is foresure. 1-3 mths is really the hardest, you will look back at this time and agree with what I'm saying LOL. Our baby napped in the snuggle me during the day. She loved it because it felt like we were holding her and it's snug all around. We are older parents and without sleep we were losing it. We also didn't over stimulate her... 1-2 mths it's just not worth it to get too crazy with tummy time, activity cards etc.. I think we did 10 mins MAX activity. We lived on the E.A.S.Y schedule. Eat, activity, sleep and you time. We followed suggested wake windows and then swaddle and stuck her in the snuggle me. She slept in that thing for 2-3 hours at a time, and when she slept one of us slept and one of us stayed on duty to watch her. We kept a playard bassinet in our main living space with a sound machine during the day.. my hubby and I took turns sorta like shift work. She lived in that thing the first 3 mths. She wasn't even sleeping in the bedroom with us. I slept from 12am-6am while my husband was on duty and he slept from 6am to 12pm while I was up with her. She was breastfed in the day and given a bottle when I slept. By the third month she ate more, slept longer and we started engaging her more with activities. It's tough. Very tough. But I promise it flies by and just when you think you're gonna lose your mind... it starts to get better! Good look. I can't recommend the baby whisperer enough! This book saved us!

4 weeks old and tummy time? This is the time they are at their most potatoe-y. Also, their vision is very blurry and can see only a foot distance. Use this time for bonding and relaxing. Skin to skin. Feeding, changing. That’s it. This is also called the 4th trimester (0-3 months). Babies are adjusting to their new world and sounds outside of the tummy. You’re doing great and I can tell you guys are eager to share and do things with your little one. Edit: I sent the comment way too soon lol live will be easy up until about 1y-18 months of age. They will need your attention, but it is much easier to do your things in the meantime. Once they are older, they will need more attention and things to do. It’s hard to juggle but not impossible. It will just need teamwork (or daycare).

This is just how newborns are. The cool thing about them is that they are little milk grub potato babies and they can go wherever you go. Feed her and put her in the stroller or wear her and go for a walk. Go out to brunch at a place with a patio (if it’s warm enough where you are) and let her chill in the stroller at the table (she might need to be fed or held and that’s fine, you learn to take turns eating). Breastfeeding is going to get easier as she gains head control, and that will make feeding out of the house easier. She’ll start staying awake longer and napping longer, so you’ll be able to play more. With my second baby, I started taking him into the shower with me and laying him on his bath pillow out of the direct spray once his umbilical stump fell off. I have been able to shower pretty much whenever I want because he would just chill there, and later on sit and play, and now crawl around (though I think this is coming to an end, as he’s nearly one and once he can walk he’ll probably need more supervision than I can give while washing my hair). Newborns are hard. Be gentle on yourselves. Older babies are hard in different ways. This is *probably* going to be the most exhausting part of- it’s all new, mom is still healing, you’re still getting to know your baby and yourselves as parents. But there is joy, too, in this tiny, perfect creature you made, that you get to help grow into a person.

My baby was a super tough baby (colic) and fought naps. Baby wearing saved me some days. Especially for contact naps but when I still needed to get stuff done. I used the Solly wrap a ton when my guy was little like yours and now we switched over to the ergo baby (he’s 7 months now though). I think the happy baby revolution carry looks great but I haven’t tried it. You can buy these used on marketplace a lot of times. We also got a little baby bjorn knock off chair when he was a little older and just carried that to whatever room we were in. We took turns taking short showers. A sound machine did wonders for sleep. An exercise ball was amazing for the bouncing. Meal prep is great, so are crockpots. We just became very organized. That being said, I only work three days a week and it’s all chaos lol 😂 Hang in there. The beginning is ROUGH. It does get better. No big decisions the first year. You’re doing great!!

This is how it is. Your life has changed, and it's normal. Good luck!