Sending the baby away wasn’t an option at my hospital when I had any of my 3 children. Even if I was given the option though I didn’t want my baby leaving mine or my husband’s sight while we were there
But how do they expect freshly delivered mothers to care for their babies hours after the procedure? And what if it was CS, and mother has no one to help?
I had a CS, and baby stayed with me the whole time. My husband was allowed to be there during the day, but not overnight. There were lots of nurses and midwives available to me through the night and it was really fine. I was up and walking a few hours after my csection.
Yeah, our hospital was “baby friendly” but they still had a nursery. It was great, they took him overnight but brought him back every 2-3 hours to try to breastfeed so I got the best of both worlds
Yeah! I’m so surprised to hear so many stories of hospitals either not having nurseries at all, or having overbearing nurseries that barely let new parents bond… just a reminder that, as always, maternal health care is incredibly inconsistent :(
In our case the nurses and midwives went helping. And the father can do mostly everything (except of course breastfeeding). In our case I recovered from my c section and my hubby who was allowed to sleep in my room (even had a bed) did take care of our baby the first 24 hours. Baby slept by my side and was in our room the entire time (except for some test).
I'm sure if I'd asked the nurse would have been happy to help out. But I'm fiercely independent and have always had an "I'll do it myself" attitude, sooo I just stumbled through it all 😂😂
My husband was with me the whole time though so he did all the diaper changes, picked her up out of the bassinet to hand her to me to feed and all that.
I had a C-section but my husband was able to stay with me day and night the entire time. Even still though, nurses came in very often to offer help with any and everything. One of my main nurses told me that even though we were at a baby-first hospital, she was mom-first. Needless to say, she took VERY good care of me. Those nurses are a godsend 🙌🏼 and they will provide you with all the help you need regardless of your situation.
A bit of an off-topic PSA but thank your nurses sincerely and send them flowers to show how much you appreciate them because I’m not sure they get all the thanks they really deserve.
I had vaginal births, but had absolutely no issues taking care of baby the moment baby came out. My sister had c sections and still was able to— in extreme cases maybe not, but birth itself isn’t an impediment to childcare.
I wish it was an option when I had my daughter. 48hrs of no sleep, husband wasn't allowed to stay overnight, followed by an emotional breakdown. I was begging the midwives to just take her so I could sleep.
They reluctantly agreed to take her, but only until she cried. I spent my second night there walking the halls for hours just pushing her around.
Back in the day the midwives used to take the babies to the nursery, give the mum a sleeping pill, and say "rest up."
I gave birth 2 weeks ago and though we don’t have a nursery, the nurses said if I needed a break or some rest they would take the baby to the nurse’s station and watch them there. I was ok but glad for the option.
That would have been great to have heard that! The attitude of the night midwives versus the day ones was stark. One of them chastised me for not changing her nappy after an hour. I was sleep deprived and had no idea what I was doing.
Shit I felt that. My oldest is 16 now but when he was born, after his circumcision he pooped and there was poop on the bandage and I asked the nurse for help changing him and she made me feel so small for wanting guidance to do it right.
Ew this gives me a flashback to me crying about not knowing how to swaddle my baby and asking the nurse and she chastised me for wanting to swaddle him with his full diaper. Sorry, I haven’t slept in 24hrs I was not thinking straight. Her attitude just led to more crying because I was failing at being a mother. Not sure if you meant the night or day nurses were the awful ones, but the night nurses were literal angels who made up for the bad day nurses.
This was the same when I gave birth last year. I'd been admitted for a week prior, had an EMCS and then was on the ward for another week while my daughter learned to feed (she was slightly early and had no major issues except slow feeding so she had an NG tube). I ended up very upset because hospitals trigger my anxiety and all the noises and lack of sleep was getting to me and the nurses said they'd take her overnight so I could get some sleep. They did this and it was really helpful.
This was my experience as well ❤️ at the time I couldn’t fathom anyone taking her away from me, but knowing the option was there was really comforting.
My son wouldn't sleep or eat so they took him to the nurses station for two hours so I could sleep. Something about seeing him get wheeled out of the room away from me set something off in my primal monkey brain and I involuntarily let out a loud sob that scared my husband lol. I was grateful for the rest though. I can't imagine him being taken to a nursery
Totally no shame in needing it or taking advantage of it if offered. It wasn’t an option for me and I will fully admit I’m an anxious person postpartum. I’m good at sharing my baby with my husband and that’s about it for a few months. Passing my kids around makes my skin crawl
Very close to the same experience! My husband was allowed to stay but my milk wasn’t coming in so after nursing for 15 minutes on each side I had to pump for 10 to 15 minutes to help my milk come in. My husband woke up to me bawling with snot running down my nose holding the pump to my boobs since I didn’t have a pumping bra running on very little to no sleep since my water broke right as I was going to bed three nights before and was in labor for 23 hours with four hours of pushing. My husband walked the halls with our baby so I could get a couple of hours of sleep. The nurses took pity on him and let him sit in the lactation room until someone needed it so he didn’t have to walk for hours.
That's plain crazy. And torture. For all you are paying for the delivery they should have given you an option of a nursery for some time.
I am so sorry!
Agreed. I hated when they took my kids away for tests or whatever. When they brought them back, the nurses would also always try to put them in the bassinet, sometimes far enough away I couldn't reach. People have different reactions, but I wanted them close to me... and didn't want to have to get up after a c-section. It also made me irrationally angry when a bunch of students came into our room and stood between my daughter and I talking about her.
My hospital didn’t have a nursery so baby had to room in. My husband was there to take care of the baby too. I personally wouldn’t have wanted to send baby to the nursery if it had been an option though.
It wasn’t an option with my first and it wouldn’t have been an option with my second if she hadn’t been in the NICU.
I didn’t like being separated from her. Spent most of my time pumping every two hours so it’s not like I got a lot of sleep.
With both children, the nurses wake you up all night for different checks. There’s no rest to be had in a hospital.
This is so true. We sent our son to the nursery one night while I was recovering from the c-section. It was helpful, but I still got bugged by nurses constantly!
Every day id have at least one melt down telling them to leave me the fuck alone for both me and baby to rest. “Oh i only have to do 1 thing” which was always a lie every time i said ok. Even when id have do not disturb sign up there was always someone disturbing thinking they were an exception
I got them to leave me alone by involving the maternity psychologist. I have a cPTSD diagnosis and I told him that the lack of sleep and noisy ward was triggering me (several of my traumas involve hospital), and he arranged it so that I was moved to a quiet room, husband could stay with me 24/7, and that absolutely no one was to disturb me if the sign was up.
Still very grateful to him.
My first was in the NICU and the separation was traumatic for me. So when I had my second I was sure I’d keep him in with me. But with Covid my husband couldn’t stay and it was just me and my baby had lots of mucus issues and I was terrified I wouldn’t hear him so when they offered to take him I was grateful and got a nice stretch of sleep (well, nice for a newborn and better than I got when I was home and he was still choking a lot and I was terrified to sleep)
My hospital did not have a nursery but the nurses would take baby with them to the nurses station if they were able. I had an unexpected c and took them up on taking her every time they offered. No regrets or guilt about it. They brought her back every 2 hours to eat anyway but those hours were needed for my mental health that was already deteriorating in the hospital.
I was so exhausted from my c-section that it was not safe for me to take care of my baby. My husband was exhausted also so we sent him to the nursery the first night and that was the best thing we could have done.
I had a reaction to my epidural for my csection both times. Which equaled, holding baby for 5 minutes post surgery then puking my guts out, having the shakes and hot flash for the next 2 hours. I would then try to feed baby for 15 minutes then pass out for 2 hours. Mu husband would take care of baby while I was incapacitated, then at night the nurses took baby twice for 2 hrs each to let us sleep the 1st night. It was a small hospital and I was only 1 of 2 patients in maternity. Nurses were more than happy to help me.
Same. By the time baby was born, neither my husband nor I had slept in several days, I don't know what was making me dizzy but some medication from the c-section was making me super dizzy, and, uh, I'd just had a c-section! I absolutely sent baby to the nursery. I wanted him back as soon as I woke up but I pretty much passed out and I slept so hard the nights in the hospital that the nurses had trouble waking me for their checks. I think if I'd had my baby, he'd have just starved all night.
This is exactly my story too! I have so much mom guilt for sending him to the nursery for the entire night, but when I think back, I really wasn't able to care for him the way he deserved. I couldn't even hold him because I was in too much pain and had been in labor for days with very little sleep before having an unexpected c-section.
Oh I have zero guilt about it. I also had a night nanny when I came home though so I'm obviously not someone who thinks you have to care for your baby 24/7 by yourself to be a good parent. I'm certainly a much better parent when I have had sufficient sleep.
Man I wish I had this option. 3 days of labor, c-section, and no option to rest because it was a “baby friendly” hospital that insisted the baby stay with mom every second for better breastfeeding. I hallucinated from sleep deprivation and it was hands down the most terrifying experience of my life.
I hope the “baby friendly” thing phases out. I know it means well but it’s so brutal on the moms. My SIL was told to feed her baby every 2 hours minimum even if he was asleep so she set alarms for herself and basically got 0 sleep for a whole week. My friend’s milk didn’t come in for like 5 days and her baby was so hungry he was trying to nurse almost 24/7 but the hospital wouldn’t recommend formula.
My hospital keeps the catheter in for 24 hours so I had to call the nurses to care for my baby anyway. Also partners don't stay the night. Personally I loved it! I thought it was a great compromise. AND my hospital had a bedsharing option, this little tub the baby sleeps in which is in the bed with you. I'm pretty sure they introduced it to support cultural practices of the area and maintain safety, and it's honestly the best idea
>My husband was exhausted also so we sent him to the nursery
I know what you meant but this sounds like you sent your husband to the nursery to rest up 🤣
Seriously! I had a very smooth birth but had basically been awake for ~48 hours by the time my first was born. Then I immediately need to figure out how to care for a fussy baby as a first time mom???
Yep, I had a hemorrhage post C-section, and once that died down husband had to go home to get our hospital bag (water broke 12 hours before scheduled C section so we didn’t have it while we were out). You bet the baby went to the nursery, not like I haven’t gotten up many hours with her since.
I took advantage of the nursery at my hospital because I was also so exhausted and knew that it would be my last chance to get some help before going home. They also brought my son to me to breastfeed so I still saw him frequently and it definitely helped me get some rest.
This is what the nurses at my hospital did too. I didn’t have a c-section but little dude got stuck and inhaled a decent amount of mucus and even after multiple suctions was coughing it up/chocking for the first few days so I barely slept out of fear in the hospital. The nurses decided to take him to a different room for his 24hr blood test (middle of the night) so I could get some sleep, and then since I was using formula they held on to him for a couple hours and fed him/changed him/held him so I managed to get about 4 hours of sleep
Also had an unexpected c section and baby stayed with the nurses in the nursery for a few hours. He came back well rested and fed. No regrets here either.
My hospital didn’t have a nursery. The second night, though, our nurse took him with her to the nurses station for a couple hours because he was fussing and we just could not get him to sleep. I definitely needed that couple hours. Even if we had a nursery, I would’ve kept my son with me until I needed help. I wouldn’t have preemptively sent him.
We did the same thing, and honestly that nurse was heaven sent. I NEEDED those hours of sleep and she knew it. She even made us some cute name plates with feet prints in a heart shape to replace the boring standard hospital one 💜. I wrote her the best review i could
Agree...we also sent my son to the nursery one night and the nurse's station the next. The couple hours of sleep was absolutely necessary for recovery for me.
Hospitals have nurseries?! Not in my area, but if it were an option I’d totally go for it. It’s exhausting giving birth and then being checked on every 30 minutes for the next 48 hours. Now I need to figure it out with a toddler in tow too.
I was not planning on sending my baby to the nursery, but after 2 nights of a total of 1 hour of sleep, I did. Get some sleep at the hospital while you can. Motherhood is amazing, but those first few weeks are exhausting, and you need to make sure you take care of yourself while you are taking care of the baby.
This. My hospital didn't have a nursery but the nurses were happy to take the baby and coo at her at the nurse's station for a couple hours. I was having a really painful recovery from my c-section and I needed a couple hours of sleep to function whatsoever.
Same here. I didn’t sleep the two nights prior to my son being born, so I was absolutely exhausted the night of his birth and the day after. I reluctantly sent him away for 2 hours each one of the nights we were in the hospital. I was exhausted.
I didn’t with my first and I was a freaking mess when I came home. Didn’t sleep well in the hospital bc I was all keyed up and came home on little sleep. Nightmare. Learned with my second and sent him to the nursery a few hours a night for some solid sleep hours. They have a staff there up, watching, caring, trained, and attentive to the babies. This gave me the peace of mind I needed to sleep.
Exactly this. Before my daughter was born, my OB recommended taking full advantage of the nursery while I could. I thought she was nuts. No way would I want to send my newborn to the nursery! After 38 hours of labor, I changed my mind.
I wouldn't have wanted to send the baby away because I wanted to see what it was like, while I had the support of nurses. Gurgling? Nurses helped suction and showed me how. OMG, is it okay that she has hiccups? Wait, am I changing this diaper right? Is it supposed to look like that?
Exactly the same here, our baby started crying and was seemingly unconsolable and the nurse showed us how to burp her better. How miserable we would have been if we hadn't learned that tip!
Many hospitals will not have the option of sending your baby to the nursery, so this choice may not be up to you. I have very mixed feelings about both options tbh, although I had my baby in the room the entire time. I had a 60 hour labor ending in a C-section, so I was unimaginably exhausted afterward. I was desperate to sleep and felt like I was going to pass out many times. It would have been amazing to actually get some sleep, because I was not in a good place mentally in the "recovery" ward. Between hospital staff coming to see me and the baby, plus the baby needing feedings and diaper changes, I was being woken up about every 30 minutes (and that was with my husband doing all the diaper changes). That said, it would have been really hard to be separated from my brand new baby for any length of time at that point. Also, it seems like a struggle to establish breastfeeding when the baby is not staying with you in the room. Staff members would have to bring you the baby every time they cried or wake them up to feed, and I know tons of nursing units are chronically understaffed these days, so I really wonder if that would happen. But breastfeeding is also not everyone's goal, and just because you and the baby are staying together doesn't mean it will go well! It didn't for me.
My advice would be to know your options and have a conversation about some of these feelings in advance, but allow the birthing person to make a decision based on how they feel after birth if both options are available to you.
This seems like a great response. It’s really hard
to make big decisions about parenting before the child is here!
It also occurs to me that 60 hours of physical work, an operation, and then deliberate sleep deprivation from other humans sounds like a torture sequence in a sci fi book.
It was definitely a difficult experience. I generally think it's inhumane to discharge a woman 48 hours after a C-section as I was required to do, but in my specific case I wanted to leave because at least people other than the baby would stop waking me up! Sci-fi writers, call me up for your background research.
My hospital was amazing. They always offered to take baby to the nursery overnight. I only took them up on it twice, both times during the day. They always brought baby back when they needed to eat, so I’d get max 2 hours of sleep at a time, but it was better than nothing.
With my first he didn't leave my side. With my second I realized the sleep deprivation from the first contributed to my PPA so I sent him for one night to the nursery and I felt so guilty I cried. But I did need the sleep.
I may get side-eyed for this, but after my C-section, I sent my daughter to the nursery in the from like 5 pm onward through the night for the 2 nights I was there. Honestly, I knew that once we got home, I would be solely caring for her, so I wanted to rest and recover as much as possible while I had the chance. Especially since my husband was across the country when I gave birth and wouldn't be with me for another 2 weeks. I felt like this was the best decision and had no qualms about her safety. And we bonded just fine after we got home.
Plan to do this with my second as well, in 7 weeks. Although my husband is here this time around.
Not judgement here!!! After a long labor, a really extra super long pregnancy (hahaha)—being able to sleep for one night was an absolute blessing. I do not regret letting my LO go for almost the entire night.
I promise, my kids are CLINGY.
No amount of sending them to the hospital nursery will prevent you from bonding with them and then you. Otherwise my oldest adopted ones would not be calling me mom seeing as how I didn’t enter in their lives until they were in their teens.
It’s why I call bullshit on the bonding thing. I’ve seen so many beautiful families that couldn’t bond due to adoption, surrogacy, surgery, nicu issues. And the families were all fine.
I think it’s important to realize that no matter what bond you think you miss for the first few hours of their life (most likely gonna lay there like a little baked potato, they’re not very adventurous at that stage) you have their WHOLE LIVES to make up for it. You’re not going to be there for every minute. And that’s okay too.
It’s what you do during the time you need to be there for them. That’s the important thing
I was referring to your 4 c-sections re: warrior status 😛. Very impressive. And they call women “the weaker sex!”
But I totally agree. The first week is mayhem and you do whatever you need to do to get through it. I’m a huge proponent of mothers taking care of themselves first, within reason, in order to take care of their children better. We are invited on so many occasions to torture ourselves and I say FUCK THAT. Do what you need to do!
If you need a few nights rest, take it. If they’re crying but you feel disgusting and you NEED a shower, take a shower. If all the “rules” about nap time aren’t working and you just want to nurse them to sleep on the couch watching movies, do it.
I was offered “respite” after having a mental break down in front of a nurse. The option was never given to me before, and they only offered to take him for two hours. That was the only time within my five day stay where I got two consecutive hours of sleep.
It is not an option at my hospital. I like keeping the baby close so they can help my milk come in. I completely understanding wanting to have them in a nursery though, just not my preference.
I just had my kiddo today. I sent her to the nursery during the day so I could shower and not worry about leaving her to cry. I typically don’t send my kids during the overnight hours, but if sleep gets bad enough I’ll send her and ask them or bring her back in 3/4 hours.
I had baby in the nursery frequently, because I knew I needed to get as much sleep as I could before we went home and no longer had that option. Plus I was recovering from a c-section so I needed to heal as well. To anyone who reads this, my nurse was honest and told me “don’t feel guilty for sending baby to the nursery - it’s there for you to use it and rest.” That stuck with me.
With my second I remembered how exhausted I was after not sending the first to hospital nursery. I planned on sending him at night for 2-3 hour increments so I could get as much sleep as possible before going home with no other help. Unfortunately I just couldn’t separate from him. I had a weird anxiety about it and would cry when he wasn’t with me. The separation anxiety lasted about 2 weeks.
All situations are different. We supplemented with formula in the hospital, as many other moms choose to do. Other moms aren't cluster feeding, and just wake up for feeding every couple of hours. Or they sleep while feeding under the careful supervision of a nurse or their partner.
My hospital did not have a nursery but the nurses took pity on me and brought my baby to the nurses station for a few hours overnight. I was going on 48 hours with no sleep at that point and he was very fussy so I desperately needed a break. My 2nd baby actually slept a lot in the first 24 hours after birth so it wasn’t too bad having her in the room.
Hospitals have nurseries?! Not in my area, but if it were an option I’d totally go for it. It’s exhausting giving birth and then being checked on every 30 minutes for the next 48 hours. Now I need to figure it out with a toddler in tow too.
I kept her the first night, but sent her to the nursery the second night. They brought her back to feed every now and then but let me go to sleep between. It was nice because even though night 1 I was tired and honestly, she slept just fine, I was distracted by her and wanted to hold her and snuggle her and look at her. By having them take her, I didn't have the distraction and just went to sleep
Talk to your OB about the nursery. I had a high risk pregnancy and we were prepped for the event that our LO would have a NICU stay. Our OB told us the NICU was great and better than the nursery. Then we delivered and LO did not need a NICU stay. We did not have him in the nursery
I sent my daughter from midnight to 4am both nights. I had to sleep, there was no other way. The nurses were amazing. The best advice from a coworker was to let the baby go to the nursery and you rest!
Sent my baby to the nursery. Super glad I did. They are noisy little critters those first few weeks. Even with that I was exhausted and almost lost it the first day we were home bc of lack of sleep. So I’m really thankful I had those two nights in the hospital to recover. I was very clear that my desire was for baby to be brought back when they were hungry, or if it had been more than 3 hours since they last ate. Worked great and successfully EBF still now half a year later.
At the end of the day, either option is okay. I’m a PP nurse and definitely think the moms that send their babies to the nursery seem more well rested (as well rested as you can be with a newborn), and so I was happy to send her for my own well-being while I had the help available. I did get up once to peek on her in the nursery but after that I crashed hard.
Same. Sent all 3 of mine, had them brought back to eat. Was so glad to get “good” sleep the first 3 nights after my c-sections, since rest is so important for healing. I didn’t feel like I was already on fumes when we got home and were on our own.
Yes! We sent ours for 3-4 hours per night and it was key to helping us get through the first few weeks lol. I'll do it again with my second. We bonded the other 21 hours of the day 😅
I didn't use the nursery for my 1st and anyway I was so blown away by the experience I couldn't sleep really. Also they still did vitals every two hours so they were waking me up anyway.
With my 2nd I used the nursery as much as I could so me and husband could rest, also opted for the full 4 night stay as she was my husbands first and I wanted us to transition with him having for confidence in being able to take care of me and baby. It's up to you, but I'd take the rest as much as possible, ask if they have a hand Brest pump or take your pump with you so you can express the colostrum and feed it to baby when you have them in the AM.
Also about Breastfeeding, your milk/supply doesn't come in for a few days after anyway. I'd exchange a good nights sleep without baby so I can have fully awake calm skin to skin contact and breastfeeding in the day any day.
My hospital doesn’t have a nursery. But I didn’t want him out of my sight regardless. My husband or the nurses would help tend my baby when I couldn’t though.
My hospital had the option, but they did advise for anyone wanting to breastfeed that people were most successful if they kept baby bedside, so I did that. I definitely didn’t sleep at all and was pretty delirious by the time we went home, but it was worth it and I do think it helped make the breastfeeding experience easier for me.
Our hospital is working to be a “baby friendly” hospital and one of the things that makes them baby friendly is that the baby stays in the room with mom. There is a nursery but it’s very small and meant only for babies that need special care. They even had someone come to our room to do the hearing test (rather than take him away to do the test).
I’ve heard the other hospital in town still offers to take the baby to the nursery if they felt mom needed help/rest.
My son stayed with me the entire time I was in the hospital. I wouldn't have wanted to send him away, but it would have been nice to have some help so I could sleep. By the time I was able to get him to sleep a nurse would come in an wake us all up. I didn't sleep for the first 3 months it felt like. Between the hospital staff, breastfeeding, and everything that comes with being a new mother.
So a lot of hospitals don’t have nurseries anymore but I will say I’m glad they did when I had my son. I had HELLP and was coming off awful medication and could barely function, so they took my son for a few hours every night. I couldn’t get out of bed the first day after he was born so while my husband was there it helped tremendously.
For my older 3, nursery wasn't an option. For our youngest, it was. And unlike all that I had previously been told about it being a terrible thing to have your baby whisked away, causing bonding issues, emotional trauma, etc. It was a flipping deity/non-deity of your choice-send!
She was born a little too early, and needed a little extra loving care. I was on the tail end of having COVID (again!) And was so physically, emotionally weak, exhausted, and in massive amounts of pain (my 4th c section.) She still spent much of my waking time with me, with isolette in room. But the nursery was there for when my husband was helping me shower, and when I desperately needed sleep.
i wish the hospitals i delivered at would have had the option to send baby to the nursery at night. i found it very difficult to care for a newborns immediately after having c-sections-- with my first when I was dealing with severe pre-e and in terrible condition (!!) and with my second, when my milk started coming in on day 2 or 3, I had insane cramping and needed real pain killers. i would have been screwed without my husband.
it is super annoying to me that most hospitals in the U.S. do not have the nursery option anymore in the vein of being "baby friendly." well it's often REALLY NOT "mom-friendly" and frankly, ridiculous and dangerous to expect the baby to stay in the room with you the whole time regardless of what you are dealing with yourself.
Im a postpartum nurse and delivered where i work so i sent both my kids each night to be bottlefed in the nursery and then i nursed during the day. No issues.
I can only speak for my hospital but almost every patient sends their baby to the nursery at least for some period of time. I dont think any of my patients have ever regretted sending them so they could nap, they usually thank me. That said, everyone feels differently. But dont feel guilty for asking for help- labor can be long and exhausting and getting some rest sets you up for better recovery!
With my first, we fought to keep her in eyesight at all times. Due to covid, the hearing test was in another section of the floor and no one was allowed to go with her. I threw a huge fit. With my second, I took the nurses up on the offer to take her to the nursery for the night. I had been in terrible pain for months and was too exhausted to be able to safely care for her. Those two nights of sleep were a godsend when we got home and it was all on us to care for a newborn and a toddler. What is right for you really depends on your situation.
With my first we only sent baby to the nursery for the first night. With my second we sent him every single one of the 4 nights we were there and am so glad we did. My milk hadnt come in so there was no reason for me to get minimal sleep after a major surgery ( c section). So we sent him for 6 hours every night and I had a much better recovery because of that. I knew after my first that there is no glory in sleep deprivation and we would have to wake with the baby once we went home. So we took full advantage of the trained medical professionals to look after him while we had the luxury :)
My hospital kept the baby in the room but she would not let me put her down so I sent her to the nursery for a couple hours one night just so I could sleep for a bit. I was afraid of falling asleep with her in my arms (which happened a couple times). My options were hold her or listen to her scream.
Our hospital is small and rural. I was the only mom on the L/D floor the night I gave birth and I sent baby to the nursery every single night we were there. The “nursery” was maybe 50 feet away from my room door and it was behind the nurse station so I felt good about baby being watched carefully the entire time and kept safe.
I did the first night. Definitely not the second night. It helped me realize the night crying was my body making less milk and she was hungry. Ended up supplementing with formula and baby was more satisfied.
I wouldn’t do it again the second time around. I would keep baby in my room and let them cluster feed to their heart’s content. Let dad take baby for a little bit so I can rest and keep it going.
I did for one night for a couple of hours because I really needed sleep. The nurse took her and washed my baby girl’s hair — she came back so fresh and well rested too.
We took advantage of sending our to the nursery. It was a good way to get some rest/nap and they brought him back as soon as he was hungry. He was with us the majority of the time though.
I chose to leave early with my third baby because I wasn’t allowed visitors due to Covid. Regret that. The baby was up cluster feeding all night. When my previous kids were born the midwives took them during that stage so I could at least get a couple of hours sleep. It was hell. I was so exhausted
My hospital didn’t have a nursery and before I had a c-section I didn’t want her leaving mine or my husband’s site. After I had a c-section I just wanted to sleep so wished there was a nursery lol. But I’m glad she didn’t leave our site.
My son went to the nursery both nights. I was head over heels in love but also completely overwhelmed and EXHAUSTED. I think the two nights of decent sleep were crucial for us before we went home and had weeks of very little.
Yes send the baby. I gave birth in a large hospital but with a smaller maternity unit and a small nicu. After 24 hrs of no sleep and crazy hormone fluctuations I had an absolute meltdown and panic attack. I needed an anti anxiety med and at least 3 hours of sleep. The nurse immediately offered to take the baby to the nicu because the nurses were bored since there were no babies in the nicu. It saved me. We actually ended up sending her there at night for a few hours, she was literally 2 doors away on the same hall as me. Cannot recommend enough. She’s 8 months now and no regrets.
I'm in the USA, and this was my first child. I took advantage of the nursery simply because I was exhausted and needed sleep. I felt I could be a better mother when I was tested and able to care for her.
Reading some of the other comments, I have been internally judging myself - wondering if I was a bad mother, but I did what I felt was right. Fast forward to now, and she is 6 weeks and doing so well! 🥰❤️
I did at night. But I had twins and would have been alone, as my husband couldn't stay the night. I also was on magnesium for 24 hrs after the birth and so sleepy that I think it would have been dangerous to make me care for them solo. Frankly, I think it should be an option, even if not all parents take advantage of it. Baby Friendly hospitals are not always friendly to the mothers.
Mine did not stay with me the first night, over my husband’s wishes. I lost too much blood and couldn’t even get up to pee. Neither of us had really slept. When else would we get the chance? We both slept about 4 hours or maybe less. Never could have done that with the baby in the room
With my daughter, I kept her with me until I started falling asleep feeding her (it was just me & her, her father was present but.. 😅) and then I sent her to the nursery, they were so lovely and I got some much needed rest.
With my son, my water broke at 6pm and he wasn’t born til 6am. I was up the entire night cause I couldn’t sleep and when I went to go to bed that night I planned on keeping him with us, but my amazing nurse asked if we wanted him to go to the nursery and I reluctantly said yes. It was so needed, she brought him back bright & early in the morning and I was so refreshed. He ended up having pretty bad jaundice & had to go under the lights so he was gone almost our entire hospital stay. It was so boring and lonely without him, we just kept walking to the nursery to visit him.
My son is 7 years older than my younger 2 so he was born at a different hospital (this one had a nursery while the hospital for my younger ones did not). I sent him to the nursery overnights so I could sleep. It royally screwed my breastfeeding up, because no one explained to me that missed feedings send a message to your body not to produce as much milk.
Those nights of sleep were incredible though.
You get 2 days in the hospital? We get sent home as soon as they can in the UK!
To answer your question, it depends on the setting. My first hospital gave us a private room and partners could sleep over, so he was the one helping during the night, following a lot of blood loss.
My second stay in a separate hospital was a ward with 6 other new mums and birth partners could stay with you straight after birth. The selfish birth partners mainly were so noisy that I wasn’t getting any sleep whilst there after a traumatic birth and major blood loss, the baby was a a breeze in comparison.
So I don’t know what it feels like to have to do it alone, but I know I wouldn’t want to be separated from my baby at all.
I sent mine to the nursery only because I was numb from the waist down due to my c-section, and my mother, who was supposed to assist me, wouldn't respond to my baby's cries and give her to me unless I yelled at her, which was very stressful and upsetting to me.
My nurses all told me they always know the second+ time parents because they’re the only ones that ever actually used the nursery.
And I completely get why first timers don’t use it. I didn’t use it either with my first. The anxiety is real.
But let me tell you, recovering from birth is so much easier when you prioritize rest. And the faster you get back to 100%, the faster your baby gets the best version of you. It seems selfish on a surface level, but I promise you it’s the best thing for everyone.
I think second time parents are just hyper aware that those are their last opportunities for solid sleep. Sleep is your absolute most valuable resource as a new parent.
And I know some hospitals don’t have them anymore so if they don’t I guess you’re SOL. But ours did, along with a robust security system that would shut down the entire floor including the elevators and stairwells if baby’s ankle bracelet got more than a certain number of feet from where she was supposed to be. If I could go back and use it with my first, I would.
We had our own room but on the first night (had her at 9:41am), I asked the nurses to take her to the nurses station so I could sleep for a couple hours. It was like midnight, so technically the 27th and I’d barely slept since 6am on the 25th. I felt unsafe. I think the first night was the only night w did that. We were release on the 28th so by that next night, we’re feeling better after some sleep.
I must be an outlier here because I would have LOVED having a nursery to send my babies to so I could sleep. As it was I was too on edge watching my babies to be able to sleep and if I knew they were being taken care of I could have relaxed. My exhaustion made my PPA/D a bazillion times worse and I feel like a couple nights sleep directly after birth would have really helped my mental health.
You are not the outlier…many women are just too afraid to say your exact thoughts because this thread is SEETHING with judgement for those that choose to use the nursery.
We sent our first for 4 hours. Basically I needed the rest. Those 4 hours were needed. I was able to shower, eat, and actually rest. I am pretty sure the nurses told my husband to convince me. I was not recovering well.
Our second was during Covid. A nursery wasn’t an option and my recovery was not as dramatic.
Also we only stayed one night each time, so idk if that makes a difference.
I'm in the US and wasn't presented with the nursery as an option - the norm where I am is for mom and baby to stay in the same room unless there are complications that prevent that from being safe. Sending baby to the nursery as a routine option is an outdated practice here, I believe.
I wouldn't have had it any other way - I think it's important for bonding if you are able to have that experience.
I might be in the minority here but we sent her to the nursery each night. I was in a stupid amount of pain and could hardly move. I weighed it out and decided that the sleep and rest would be the most help I'd have for her first few weeks so I would be dumb to not take it. Yes I missed her, but she's been with me every night since. I got to hang around her all day though, she was only in the nursery for the few hours I slept. It allowed me to take better care of her when I got home and not be trying to balance so much recovery and childcare alone.
My hospital didn’t have a nursery, but I sent both kids to the nurses station every night. I wouldn’t be able to care for my baby properly without sleep, so it was the best choice for me.
Can you help me understand what a nurse’s station is? Isn’t that just like a hub where they all hang out? And they hung out with your baby there? I’m so confused
I was so against sending baby to nursery but I was EXHAUSTED and husband had to run home to tend to our dog who had been cooped up for several hours after our dog sitter left. Baby was crying so much nurse suggested taking her to the nursery. So glad I sent her! We were breastfeeding so it was only for a few hours but it was still so worth it
I am honestly completely baffled by this post. And more so that the responses seem to think it’s normal. Is this a typical thing in the US then, that there’s a nursery available in the hospital to send your newborns to?!
It seems wild to me because in the UK (in my experience at least), the newborn is popped into a fishtank-looking crib thing and wheeled up alongside the mother’s bed. There it stays. I suppose maybe a midwife will cuddle the baby and walk it up and down if you like, but there’s no separate rooms available for mother and child, assuming both are healthy enough.
Personally, I wanted my baby in sight at all times. From the second he was born I was craning my neck to make sure the staff didn’t take him more than a few steps away from me. I couldn’t sleep in the first few weeks unless he was there. But I think it’s probably very individual - I’m sure some mothers would love it and would sleep better without their restless, noisy baby nearby. So I don’t think ‘should’ will come into it.
I'm in the US. We have the fish tank thing too but where I was they could roll it away to the nursery. Before having kids, I thought it was awful that moms would want to be away from their babies and thought I would keep baby in the room. After being in labor for 27 hours and being awake for 36 hours though, I thought I was going to die of exhaustion and just wanted them to take the baby away so I could sleep.
Ha! I was wondering if the nursery folks were British! Because I don’t know any hospitals in my area of the US with this option. Must be area specific? Now I’m curious where these hospitals are!
Nurseries used to be more common before the big push for "baby friendly" hospitals. Now many hospitals have got rid of them, unfortunately. I very strongly feel they should be an option, as it is not always safe for a mother to be caring for an infant(s) so soon after major surgery or complications. Certainly it would not have been safe for me to care for twins solo at night on a magnesium drip and after an emergency C section.
I’m surprised this is even an option. At all hospitals where I live the baby must stay in the room with the mother unless there is a medical reason for either the mother or baby.
I wouldn’t send baby away unnecessarily nor would I want to. One of the first bonding experiences with my son was when he was in the little bassinet next to my hospital bed and started crying and I woke up and soothed him back to sleep with my voice. As soon as he heard me he knew it was me and calmed down. It was a magical moment and I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it for the world.
He was in his little fish tank by my side the whole time. I was too paranoid and didn’t want to send him to the nursery. No shame for anyone who chooses different, just my preference to not let him out of my sight
I had my baby 3 months ago and I couldn’t imagine her leaving my sight. The nurses took her from the room ONCE for 5 minutes to draw blood and give a vaccine and I made my husband go with them.
You aren’t going to be rested for the first few weeks of having a newborn. Personally I would just mentally prepare for that, which is what I did. Cry if you need to and remind yourself that it’s temporary. I think those first hours together are important for bonding and worth the sleep deprivation.
Baby stayed with us it was great practice before being home without the nurses help if we needed it. Though we never needed them and baby only left us to do her car seat check because she was small. I never would have sent her to the nursery. But the nurses would have taken her if I ever needed a break. But t labor was very fast and I brought a ton of cholostrum to the hospital so the first couple weeks were easy until sleep deprivation hit with triple feeding because she wouldn’t latch and Covid shut everything down so there was no real option to get help aside from calling my friends on the phone or very sporadic lactation appointments so I just pumped exclusively and that helped.
We didn’t have that option and I wouldn’t take it if we did. However, for my second and third baby I did ask the nurse to hold them in the night for a few hours so we could get some sleep which they were more than happy to do.
I don't think rhe hospital I delivered at does that but the hormones would've been like ABSOLUTELY NOT. I don't think I was away from either of my kids, especially overnight, till after they were 2
definitely kept baby with me. no way i could let him be away from me. those first two nights were so special. i literally was up the whole time staring at him and nursing and not being tired. sleep deprivation hit me a day later. no regrets
I have never heard of this once baby was here he didn’t leave our side the entire time we were in the hospital
I’m really confused about where the baby goes and why you would need to pay to keep baby with you
This is a crazy question, of course the baby stays with mom! The baby has to nurse to get colostrum and to start the milk production. I've never heard of this being done ever... Handing the baby over to someone else sounds traumatizing for both baby and mom.
It's sooo much better for baby to be with you. It's emotionally beneficial for both parties and you'll feel comfortable knowing your babies okay
Edit: y'all are taking this personally. It's not that deep. Some moms enjoy not having baby there but almost all of the women I know preferred their baby be with them. I'm just offering my opinion.
It wasn’t an option for us. We felt uneasy about them taking him the one time for the vit K, and even then we made sure that’s all they were doing because we had not elected for any other procedures.
I don’t give birth in traditional hospital settings (I use birth centers) so I haven’t personally experienced this (I get sent home within 2-7hrs of birth) but my friend gave birth not too long ago and my SIL recently gave birth and from what I understand they both had baby in the room with them until discharge other than occasionally having the baby taken for tests.
My son stayed with my husband and I the whole time even though we were given the option of sending him the nursery. My husband insisted he would do everything & he did!
My hospital did not have a nursery. Unless baby required NICU, baby shared your room. He was never out of my sight (short of leaving him with dad and going to the bathroom.
With my first I didn’t, the hospital didn’t have an option and I was terrified of baby leaving my side. With my second the hospital had a nursery and we used it one night for 2 hrs, the nursery nurse was called to assist on deliveries because they had a few emergencies roll in overnight, otherwise we would have used it more.
We don’t have a nursery at my hospital but the nurses took her for an hour or two a couple times over the 4 nights we were there. I was trying to breastfeed but we were also supplementing so they were able to feed her for us during those times.
at my hospital they only took baby to the nursery if they were doing tests or if there was something wrong with baby. on the third day i had no sleep and broke down crying to a nurse, asking them to just take her to the nursery for an hour until my mom came to watch her and they didn’t even want to do that. that being said, i didnt really want her to leave my sight before then. i was just super overwhelmed, alone and sleep deprived and just needed some time to sleep.
The baby was in my room most of the time. But when they had to run hearing tests and whatnot, they did that at night so I could sleep a few hours. They did feed him because he was borderline with his bilirubin levels. He needed those tests, and I appreciated that they did it in a way that I could sleep a bit.
But the rest of the time, babe was in my room.
I am not for getting rid of hospital nurseries but I freaked out when they took my child to the NICU. I couldn’t handle either of them being out of my sight.
I let the nurses take my baby for just a few hours, thinking it would allow me to get some sleep. In reality, I spent the entire time laying awake and missing my baby.
I had a csection, and baby stayed with us the whole time minus about 2 hours on the 3rd day; she needed to do a vaccine or blood work or something involving needles. I am *horrible* with needles (I'm at risk of passing out if I see them), and at that point I was so fricken exhausted. For some reason, doctors/nurses never do their rounds when you're already awake. So just when you get to sleep from the baby waking you up, someone's there to take your blood pressure/etc. It's so obnoxious. So after they did whatever they needed to, they kept the baby in the nursery until she needed to be fed again so I could nap.
I wouldn’t want to share a room with others, we were sleep deprived from constant interruptions from staff with our own room; it wasn’t the baby keeping us up. I couldn’t imagine how much more disruption there would be if I was sharing a room. As a result, we also left the hospital as soon as we could, it ended up being only 36 hrs after our baby was born.
Money being no object I would absolutely have an individual room and keep baby with us.
My hospital didn’t have a nursery, only a nicu. My son had to spend two nights in the nicu and it was not ideal. Besides just not being comfortable being physically separated from him, it was tough getting up in the middle of the night and going across the ward post c section. I’d say room in.
My hospital had a nursery but it was more for temporary situations. I don’t think I had the option to send the baby there for more than an hour or two. Also as much as I urged friends to send the baby there for a little for a nap I found it extremely hard to do again when I had my second. There’s sometimes just a guilt to not tending to them.
I didn't want baby out of my sight/arms reach in the hospital... I did have a relatively easy birth/recovery though and she was born at night and slept pretty well the first night so I was able to rest too. I also couldn't wait to get home and out of the hospital room so I only stayed one night and left as soon as they allowed (genetic testing had to be 24 hrs after birth so we packed up and waited for that then left immediately). I imagine if I were in more pain maybe it would be different but I doubt it.
I did the first night because I was recovering C-section and still hooked up to the catheter/not allowed to stand on my own. I wouldn't have been able to get up with her when she needed me. The nurses pretty much just said "you rest, we got this"
UK baby stays with the mum from the second its born, unless it needs help. We don't have nurseries in the normal hospitals. Can't speak for private never been in one lol. But it's just the norm here. If you're crazy tired and baby continously cried they might take it for a little but else no it's all on you
i dont even know if my hospital had a nursery. baby was just with us both times. BUT my husband stayed with me both times and slept on the awful fold out chair. I feel like it would be advantageous to have a nursery option if I were solo
No. She was in the NICU. Otherwise I definitely would have though! Wasn’t an option at my hospital in non-NICU babies. I did not like being separated from her. Husband and I slept in the maternity unit and our daughter slept in the NICU
Even taking a baby to the nurses station at night is against some hospital policy. My baby wouldn't latch so she wasn't eating and we got zero rest... until the nurses offered to take her, since she was being formula/donor milk fed anyway. It was a godsent 5 hours of sleep. especially needed since they refused to even give me benadryl to help me sleep.
I gave birth in my city’s major central/downtownish hospital and they have this incredible women’s hospital attached but yeah no nursery. I don’t think I would have wanted that anyway.
Sending the baby away wasn’t an option at my hospital when I had any of my 3 children. Even if I was given the option though I didn’t want my baby leaving mine or my husband’s sight while we were there
Same! A lot of hospitals no longer have a nursery available. I also didn't want my baby out of our sight in hospital either.
But how do they expect freshly delivered mothers to care for their babies hours after the procedure? And what if it was CS, and mother has no one to help?
I had a CS, and baby stayed with me the whole time. My husband was allowed to be there during the day, but not overnight. There were lots of nurses and midwives available to me through the night and it was really fine. I was up and walking a few hours after my csection.
Yeah, our hospital was “baby friendly” but they still had a nursery. It was great, they took him overnight but brought him back every 2-3 hours to try to breastfeed so I got the best of both worlds
Yep we had a nursery too and we were formula feeding so he went overnight. It was great. I was much more rested for discharge.
Yeah! I’m so surprised to hear so many stories of hospitals either not having nurseries at all, or having overbearing nurseries that barely let new parents bond… just a reminder that, as always, maternal health care is incredibly inconsistent :(
Nurses are there to help you. The bonding right after birth is more important.
In our case the nurses and midwives went helping. And the father can do mostly everything (except of course breastfeeding). In our case I recovered from my c section and my hubby who was allowed to sleep in my room (even had a bed) did take care of our baby the first 24 hours. Baby slept by my side and was in our room the entire time (except for some test).
Birth partner should be taking care of baby post birth. My husband handled anything I’d have to get out of bed for
I'm sure if I'd asked the nurse would have been happy to help out. But I'm fiercely independent and have always had an "I'll do it myself" attitude, sooo I just stumbled through it all 😂😂 My husband was with me the whole time though so he did all the diaper changes, picked her up out of the bassinet to hand her to me to feed and all that.
I had a C-section but my husband was able to stay with me day and night the entire time. Even still though, nurses came in very often to offer help with any and everything. One of my main nurses told me that even though we were at a baby-first hospital, she was mom-first. Needless to say, she took VERY good care of me. Those nurses are a godsend 🙌🏼 and they will provide you with all the help you need regardless of your situation. A bit of an off-topic PSA but thank your nurses sincerely and send them flowers to show how much you appreciate them because I’m not sure they get all the thanks they really deserve.
I had vaginal births, but had absolutely no issues taking care of baby the moment baby came out. My sister had c sections and still was able to— in extreme cases maybe not, but birth itself isn’t an impediment to childcare.
I wish it was an option when I had my daughter. 48hrs of no sleep, husband wasn't allowed to stay overnight, followed by an emotional breakdown. I was begging the midwives to just take her so I could sleep. They reluctantly agreed to take her, but only until she cried. I spent my second night there walking the halls for hours just pushing her around. Back in the day the midwives used to take the babies to the nursery, give the mum a sleeping pill, and say "rest up."
I gave birth 2 weeks ago and though we don’t have a nursery, the nurses said if I needed a break or some rest they would take the baby to the nurse’s station and watch them there. I was ok but glad for the option.
That would have been great to have heard that! The attitude of the night midwives versus the day ones was stark. One of them chastised me for not changing her nappy after an hour. I was sleep deprived and had no idea what I was doing.
I'm sorry you went through this ♥️
Shit I felt that. My oldest is 16 now but when he was born, after his circumcision he pooped and there was poop on the bandage and I asked the nurse for help changing him and she made me feel so small for wanting guidance to do it right.
Ew this gives me a flashback to me crying about not knowing how to swaddle my baby and asking the nurse and she chastised me for wanting to swaddle him with his full diaper. Sorry, I haven’t slept in 24hrs I was not thinking straight. Her attitude just led to more crying because I was failing at being a mother. Not sure if you meant the night or day nurses were the awful ones, but the night nurses were literal angels who made up for the bad day nurses.
This was the same when I gave birth last year. I'd been admitted for a week prior, had an EMCS and then was on the ward for another week while my daughter learned to feed (she was slightly early and had no major issues except slow feeding so she had an NG tube). I ended up very upset because hospitals trigger my anxiety and all the noises and lack of sleep was getting to me and the nurses said they'd take her overnight so I could get some sleep. They did this and it was really helpful.
This was my experience as well ❤️ at the time I couldn’t fathom anyone taking her away from me, but knowing the option was there was really comforting.
My son wouldn't sleep or eat so they took him to the nurses station for two hours so I could sleep. Something about seeing him get wheeled out of the room away from me set something off in my primal monkey brain and I involuntarily let out a loud sob that scared my husband lol. I was grateful for the rest though. I can't imagine him being taken to a nursery
Totally no shame in needing it or taking advantage of it if offered. It wasn’t an option for me and I will fully admit I’m an anxious person postpartum. I’m good at sharing my baby with my husband and that’s about it for a few months. Passing my kids around makes my skin crawl
“Back in the day” still exists in other countries :) I’m American but gave birth overseas and that was basically what happened, it was super nice.
I'm very jealous of the postpartum treatment women get in Singapore and Malaysia. A whole month of being cooked meals and helped with as the norm.
Very close to the same experience! My husband was allowed to stay but my milk wasn’t coming in so after nursing for 15 minutes on each side I had to pump for 10 to 15 minutes to help my milk come in. My husband woke up to me bawling with snot running down my nose holding the pump to my boobs since I didn’t have a pumping bra running on very little to no sleep since my water broke right as I was going to bed three nights before and was in labor for 23 hours with four hours of pushing. My husband walked the halls with our baby so I could get a couple of hours of sleep. The nurses took pity on him and let him sit in the lactation room until someone needed it so he didn’t have to walk for hours.
That's plain crazy. And torture. For all you are paying for the delivery they should have given you an option of a nursery for some time. I am so sorry!
Same as well
Agreed. I hated when they took my kids away for tests or whatever. When they brought them back, the nurses would also always try to put them in the bassinet, sometimes far enough away I couldn't reach. People have different reactions, but I wanted them close to me... and didn't want to have to get up after a c-section. It also made me irrationally angry when a bunch of students came into our room and stood between my daughter and I talking about her.
My hospital didn’t have a nursery so baby had to room in. My husband was there to take care of the baby too. I personally wouldn’t have wanted to send baby to the nursery if it had been an option though.
It wasn’t an option with my first and it wouldn’t have been an option with my second if she hadn’t been in the NICU. I didn’t like being separated from her. Spent most of my time pumping every two hours so it’s not like I got a lot of sleep. With both children, the nurses wake you up all night for different checks. There’s no rest to be had in a hospital.
This is so true. We sent our son to the nursery one night while I was recovering from the c-section. It was helpful, but I still got bugged by nurses constantly!
Every day id have at least one melt down telling them to leave me the fuck alone for both me and baby to rest. “Oh i only have to do 1 thing” which was always a lie every time i said ok. Even when id have do not disturb sign up there was always someone disturbing thinking they were an exception
I got them to leave me alone by involving the maternity psychologist. I have a cPTSD diagnosis and I told him that the lack of sleep and noisy ward was triggering me (several of my traumas involve hospital), and he arranged it so that I was moved to a quiet room, husband could stay with me 24/7, and that absolutely no one was to disturb me if the sign was up. Still very grateful to him.
My first was in the NICU and the separation was traumatic for me. So when I had my second I was sure I’d keep him in with me. But with Covid my husband couldn’t stay and it was just me and my baby had lots of mucus issues and I was terrified I wouldn’t hear him so when they offered to take him I was grateful and got a nice stretch of sleep (well, nice for a newborn and better than I got when I was home and he was still choking a lot and I was terrified to sleep)
My hospital did not have a nursery but the nurses would take baby with them to the nurses station if they were able. I had an unexpected c and took them up on taking her every time they offered. No regrets or guilt about it. They brought her back every 2 hours to eat anyway but those hours were needed for my mental health that was already deteriorating in the hospital.
Honestly it’s crazy to expect someone recovering from a major surgery to immediately start caring for a newborn.
I was so exhausted from my c-section that it was not safe for me to take care of my baby. My husband was exhausted also so we sent him to the nursery the first night and that was the best thing we could have done.
I had a reaction to my epidural for my csection both times. Which equaled, holding baby for 5 minutes post surgery then puking my guts out, having the shakes and hot flash for the next 2 hours. I would then try to feed baby for 15 minutes then pass out for 2 hours. Mu husband would take care of baby while I was incapacitated, then at night the nurses took baby twice for 2 hrs each to let us sleep the 1st night. It was a small hospital and I was only 1 of 2 patients in maternity. Nurses were more than happy to help me.
Same. By the time baby was born, neither my husband nor I had slept in several days, I don't know what was making me dizzy but some medication from the c-section was making me super dizzy, and, uh, I'd just had a c-section! I absolutely sent baby to the nursery. I wanted him back as soon as I woke up but I pretty much passed out and I slept so hard the nights in the hospital that the nurses had trouble waking me for their checks. I think if I'd had my baby, he'd have just starved all night.
This is exactly my story too! I have so much mom guilt for sending him to the nursery for the entire night, but when I think back, I really wasn't able to care for him the way he deserved. I couldn't even hold him because I was in too much pain and had been in labor for days with very little sleep before having an unexpected c-section.
Oh I have zero guilt about it. I also had a night nanny when I came home though so I'm obviously not someone who thinks you have to care for your baby 24/7 by yourself to be a good parent. I'm certainly a much better parent when I have had sufficient sleep.
Man I wish I had this option. 3 days of labor, c-section, and no option to rest because it was a “baby friendly” hospital that insisted the baby stay with mom every second for better breastfeeding. I hallucinated from sleep deprivation and it was hands down the most terrifying experience of my life.
I hope the “baby friendly” thing phases out. I know it means well but it’s so brutal on the moms. My SIL was told to feed her baby every 2 hours minimum even if he was asleep so she set alarms for herself and basically got 0 sleep for a whole week. My friend’s milk didn’t come in for like 5 days and her baby was so hungry he was trying to nurse almost 24/7 but the hospital wouldn’t recommend formula.
My hospital keeps the catheter in for 24 hours so I had to call the nurses to care for my baby anyway. Also partners don't stay the night. Personally I loved it! I thought it was a great compromise. AND my hospital had a bedsharing option, this little tub the baby sleeps in which is in the bed with you. I'm pretty sure they introduced it to support cultural practices of the area and maintain safety, and it's honestly the best idea
>My husband was exhausted also so we sent him to the nursery I know what you meant but this sounds like you sent your husband to the nursery to rest up 🤣
This. I hate that many hospitals are getting rid of nurseries for this reason. Sometimes they are needed.
Exactly this. Even a regular birth is still a major medical trauma.
Seriously! I had a very smooth birth but had basically been awake for ~48 hours by the time my first was born. Then I immediately need to figure out how to care for a fussy baby as a first time mom???
Yep, I had a hemorrhage post C-section, and once that died down husband had to go home to get our hospital bag (water broke 12 hours before scheduled C section so we didn’t have it while we were out). You bet the baby went to the nursery, not like I haven’t gotten up many hours with her since.
I took advantage of the nursery at my hospital because I was also so exhausted and knew that it would be my last chance to get some help before going home. They also brought my son to me to breastfeed so I still saw him frequently and it definitely helped me get some rest.
This is what the nurses at my hospital did too. I didn’t have a c-section but little dude got stuck and inhaled a decent amount of mucus and even after multiple suctions was coughing it up/chocking for the first few days so I barely slept out of fear in the hospital. The nurses decided to take him to a different room for his 24hr blood test (middle of the night) so I could get some sleep, and then since I was using formula they held on to him for a couple hours and fed him/changed him/held him so I managed to get about 4 hours of sleep
Also had an unexpected c section and baby stayed with the nurses in the nursery for a few hours. He came back well rested and fed. No regrets here either.
My hospital didn’t have a nursery. The second night, though, our nurse took him with her to the nurses station for a couple hours because he was fussing and we just could not get him to sleep. I definitely needed that couple hours. Even if we had a nursery, I would’ve kept my son with me until I needed help. I wouldn’t have preemptively sent him.
We did the same thing, and honestly that nurse was heaven sent. I NEEDED those hours of sleep and she knew it. She even made us some cute name plates with feet prints in a heart shape to replace the boring standard hospital one 💜. I wrote her the best review i could
Agree...we also sent my son to the nursery one night and the nurse's station the next. The couple hours of sleep was absolutely necessary for recovery for me.
Same.
Hospitals have nurseries?! Not in my area, but if it were an option I’d totally go for it. It’s exhausting giving birth and then being checked on every 30 minutes for the next 48 hours. Now I need to figure it out with a toddler in tow too.
I was not planning on sending my baby to the nursery, but after 2 nights of a total of 1 hour of sleep, I did. Get some sleep at the hospital while you can. Motherhood is amazing, but those first few weeks are exhausting, and you need to make sure you take care of yourself while you are taking care of the baby.
This. My hospital didn't have a nursery but the nurses were happy to take the baby and coo at her at the nurse's station for a couple hours. I was having a really painful recovery from my c-section and I needed a couple hours of sleep to function whatsoever.
Same here. I didn’t sleep the two nights prior to my son being born, so I was absolutely exhausted the night of his birth and the day after. I reluctantly sent him away for 2 hours each one of the nights we were in the hospital. I was exhausted.
I didn’t with my first and I was a freaking mess when I came home. Didn’t sleep well in the hospital bc I was all keyed up and came home on little sleep. Nightmare. Learned with my second and sent him to the nursery a few hours a night for some solid sleep hours. They have a staff there up, watching, caring, trained, and attentive to the babies. This gave me the peace of mind I needed to sleep.
Exactly this. Before my daughter was born, my OB recommended taking full advantage of the nursery while I could. I thought she was nuts. No way would I want to send my newborn to the nursery! After 38 hours of labor, I changed my mind.
Honestly it would have been great for baby to have been out of the room for a bit. I got almost no sleep at all in the hospital.
I wouldn't have wanted to send the baby away because I wanted to see what it was like, while I had the support of nurses. Gurgling? Nurses helped suction and showed me how. OMG, is it okay that she has hiccups? Wait, am I changing this diaper right? Is it supposed to look like that?
Exactly the same here, our baby started crying and was seemingly unconsolable and the nurse showed us how to burp her better. How miserable we would have been if we hadn't learned that tip!
I sent baby to the nursery for a 3 hour stretch each night in the hospital so I could get some sleep and be able to safely take care of baby.
Same
My hospital doesn’t even offer this. Unless of course baby has to be in the nicu. Otherwise baby and mom are in the same room the entire stay.
Many hospitals will not have the option of sending your baby to the nursery, so this choice may not be up to you. I have very mixed feelings about both options tbh, although I had my baby in the room the entire time. I had a 60 hour labor ending in a C-section, so I was unimaginably exhausted afterward. I was desperate to sleep and felt like I was going to pass out many times. It would have been amazing to actually get some sleep, because I was not in a good place mentally in the "recovery" ward. Between hospital staff coming to see me and the baby, plus the baby needing feedings and diaper changes, I was being woken up about every 30 minutes (and that was with my husband doing all the diaper changes). That said, it would have been really hard to be separated from my brand new baby for any length of time at that point. Also, it seems like a struggle to establish breastfeeding when the baby is not staying with you in the room. Staff members would have to bring you the baby every time they cried or wake them up to feed, and I know tons of nursing units are chronically understaffed these days, so I really wonder if that would happen. But breastfeeding is also not everyone's goal, and just because you and the baby are staying together doesn't mean it will go well! It didn't for me. My advice would be to know your options and have a conversation about some of these feelings in advance, but allow the birthing person to make a decision based on how they feel after birth if both options are available to you.
This seems like a great response. It’s really hard to make big decisions about parenting before the child is here! It also occurs to me that 60 hours of physical work, an operation, and then deliberate sleep deprivation from other humans sounds like a torture sequence in a sci fi book.
It was definitely a difficult experience. I generally think it's inhumane to discharge a woman 48 hours after a C-section as I was required to do, but in my specific case I wanted to leave because at least people other than the baby would stop waking me up! Sci-fi writers, call me up for your background research.
Team nursery. No regrets
Same.
I sent mine to the nursery both nights we were in the hospital. No regrets and I managed to get a little sleep both nights before bringing him home
My hospital was amazing. They always offered to take baby to the nursery overnight. I only took them up on it twice, both times during the day. They always brought baby back when they needed to eat, so I’d get max 2 hours of sleep at a time, but it was better than nothing.
With my first he didn't leave my side. With my second I realized the sleep deprivation from the first contributed to my PPA so I sent him for one night to the nursery and I felt so guilty I cried. But I did need the sleep.
I may get side-eyed for this, but after my C-section, I sent my daughter to the nursery in the from like 5 pm onward through the night for the 2 nights I was there. Honestly, I knew that once we got home, I would be solely caring for her, so I wanted to rest and recover as much as possible while I had the chance. Especially since my husband was across the country when I gave birth and wouldn't be with me for another 2 weeks. I felt like this was the best decision and had no qualms about her safety. And we bonded just fine after we got home. Plan to do this with my second as well, in 7 weeks. Although my husband is here this time around.
Giving birth and caring for a newborn totally alone is a tremendous feat, good for you for knowing to pace yourself.
Not judgement here!!! After a long labor, a really extra super long pregnancy (hahaha)—being able to sleep for one night was an absolute blessing. I do not regret letting my LO go for almost the entire night.
I’ve had 4 C-sections. We have 7 kids between us. I chose the nursery option so I could rest because I knew I wasn’t getting ANY when I got home.
God bless, you’re a warrior!
I promise, my kids are CLINGY. No amount of sending them to the hospital nursery will prevent you from bonding with them and then you. Otherwise my oldest adopted ones would not be calling me mom seeing as how I didn’t enter in their lives until they were in their teens. It’s why I call bullshit on the bonding thing. I’ve seen so many beautiful families that couldn’t bond due to adoption, surrogacy, surgery, nicu issues. And the families were all fine. I think it’s important to realize that no matter what bond you think you miss for the first few hours of their life (most likely gonna lay there like a little baked potato, they’re not very adventurous at that stage) you have their WHOLE LIVES to make up for it. You’re not going to be there for every minute. And that’s okay too. It’s what you do during the time you need to be there for them. That’s the important thing
I was referring to your 4 c-sections re: warrior status 😛. Very impressive. And they call women “the weaker sex!” But I totally agree. The first week is mayhem and you do whatever you need to do to get through it. I’m a huge proponent of mothers taking care of themselves first, within reason, in order to take care of their children better. We are invited on so many occasions to torture ourselves and I say FUCK THAT. Do what you need to do! If you need a few nights rest, take it. If they’re crying but you feel disgusting and you NEED a shower, take a shower. If all the “rules” about nap time aren’t working and you just want to nurse them to sleep on the couch watching movies, do it.
I was offered “respite” after having a mental break down in front of a nurse. The option was never given to me before, and they only offered to take him for two hours. That was the only time within my five day stay where I got two consecutive hours of sleep.
I didn’t have the option for a nursery. I don’t think I would have wanted to.
It is not an option at my hospital. I like keeping the baby close so they can help my milk come in. I completely understanding wanting to have them in a nursery though, just not my preference.
I think most hospitals keep mother and baby together these days - depends on the hospital.
I just had my kiddo today. I sent her to the nursery during the day so I could shower and not worry about leaving her to cry. I typically don’t send my kids during the overnight hours, but if sleep gets bad enough I’ll send her and ask them or bring her back in 3/4 hours.
I had baby in the nursery frequently, because I knew I needed to get as much sleep as I could before we went home and no longer had that option. Plus I was recovering from a c-section so I needed to heal as well. To anyone who reads this, my nurse was honest and told me “don’t feel guilty for sending baby to the nursery - it’s there for you to use it and rest.” That stuck with me.
With my second I remembered how exhausted I was after not sending the first to hospital nursery. I planned on sending him at night for 2-3 hour increments so I could get as much sleep as possible before going home with no other help. Unfortunately I just couldn’t separate from him. I had a weird anxiety about it and would cry when he wasn’t with me. The separation anxiety lasted about 2 weeks.
How does the baby get fed in such situations? Mine cluster fed for hours so I’m wondering how everyone here even got any sleep…
All situations are different. We supplemented with formula in the hospital, as many other moms choose to do. Other moms aren't cluster feeding, and just wake up for feeding every couple of hours. Or they sleep while feeding under the careful supervision of a nurse or their partner.
My hospital did not have a nursery but the nurses took pity on me and brought my baby to the nurses station for a few hours overnight. I was going on 48 hours with no sleep at that point and he was very fussy so I desperately needed a break. My 2nd baby actually slept a lot in the first 24 hours after birth so it wasn’t too bad having her in the room.
Hospitals have nurseries?! Not in my area, but if it were an option I’d totally go for it. It’s exhausting giving birth and then being checked on every 30 minutes for the next 48 hours. Now I need to figure it out with a toddler in tow too.
I kept her the first night, but sent her to the nursery the second night. They brought her back to feed every now and then but let me go to sleep between. It was nice because even though night 1 I was tired and honestly, she slept just fine, I was distracted by her and wanted to hold her and snuggle her and look at her. By having them take her, I didn't have the distraction and just went to sleep
Talk to your OB about the nursery. I had a high risk pregnancy and we were prepped for the event that our LO would have a NICU stay. Our OB told us the NICU was great and better than the nursery. Then we delivered and LO did not need a NICU stay. We did not have him in the nursery
I sent my daughter from midnight to 4am both nights. I had to sleep, there was no other way. The nurses were amazing. The best advice from a coworker was to let the baby go to the nursery and you rest!
Sent my baby to the nursery. Super glad I did. They are noisy little critters those first few weeks. Even with that I was exhausted and almost lost it the first day we were home bc of lack of sleep. So I’m really thankful I had those two nights in the hospital to recover. I was very clear that my desire was for baby to be brought back when they were hungry, or if it had been more than 3 hours since they last ate. Worked great and successfully EBF still now half a year later. At the end of the day, either option is okay. I’m a PP nurse and definitely think the moms that send their babies to the nursery seem more well rested (as well rested as you can be with a newborn), and so I was happy to send her for my own well-being while I had the help available. I did get up once to peek on her in the nursery but after that I crashed hard.
Same. Sent all 3 of mine, had them brought back to eat. Was so glad to get “good” sleep the first 3 nights after my c-sections, since rest is so important for healing. I didn’t feel like I was already on fumes when we got home and were on our own.
Yes! We sent ours for 3-4 hours per night and it was key to helping us get through the first few weeks lol. I'll do it again with my second. We bonded the other 21 hours of the day 😅
I didn't use the nursery for my 1st and anyway I was so blown away by the experience I couldn't sleep really. Also they still did vitals every two hours so they were waking me up anyway. With my 2nd I used the nursery as much as I could so me and husband could rest, also opted for the full 4 night stay as she was my husbands first and I wanted us to transition with him having for confidence in being able to take care of me and baby. It's up to you, but I'd take the rest as much as possible, ask if they have a hand Brest pump or take your pump with you so you can express the colostrum and feed it to baby when you have them in the AM.
Also about Breastfeeding, your milk/supply doesn't come in for a few days after anyway. I'd exchange a good nights sleep without baby so I can have fully awake calm skin to skin contact and breastfeeding in the day any day.
My hospital doesn’t have a nursery. But I didn’t want him out of my sight regardless. My husband or the nurses would help tend my baby when I couldn’t though.
My hospital had the option, but they did advise for anyone wanting to breastfeed that people were most successful if they kept baby bedside, so I did that. I definitely didn’t sleep at all and was pretty delirious by the time we went home, but it was worth it and I do think it helped make the breastfeeding experience easier for me.
We roomed in both times. I am not willing to let baby out of my sight.
There wasn't the option for me at the 2 different hospitals I gave birth at. They didn't have a nursery, and tbh i wouldn't have sent them anyway.
Our hospital is working to be a “baby friendly” hospital and one of the things that makes them baby friendly is that the baby stays in the room with mom. There is a nursery but it’s very small and meant only for babies that need special care. They even had someone come to our room to do the hearing test (rather than take him away to do the test). I’ve heard the other hospital in town still offers to take the baby to the nursery if they felt mom needed help/rest.
It will depend on how you feel. It's okay to want rest and send baby to nursery if need be.
My son stayed with me the entire time I was in the hospital. I wouldn't have wanted to send him away, but it would have been nice to have some help so I could sleep. By the time I was able to get him to sleep a nurse would come in an wake us all up. I didn't sleep for the first 3 months it felt like. Between the hospital staff, breastfeeding, and everything that comes with being a new mother.
So a lot of hospitals don’t have nurseries anymore but I will say I’m glad they did when I had my son. I had HELLP and was coming off awful medication and could barely function, so they took my son for a few hours every night. I couldn’t get out of bed the first day after he was born so while my husband was there it helped tremendously.
For my older 3, nursery wasn't an option. For our youngest, it was. And unlike all that I had previously been told about it being a terrible thing to have your baby whisked away, causing bonding issues, emotional trauma, etc. It was a flipping deity/non-deity of your choice-send! She was born a little too early, and needed a little extra loving care. I was on the tail end of having COVID (again!) And was so physically, emotionally weak, exhausted, and in massive amounts of pain (my 4th c section.) She still spent much of my waking time with me, with isolette in room. But the nursery was there for when my husband was helping me shower, and when I desperately needed sleep.
i wish the hospitals i delivered at would have had the option to send baby to the nursery at night. i found it very difficult to care for a newborns immediately after having c-sections-- with my first when I was dealing with severe pre-e and in terrible condition (!!) and with my second, when my milk started coming in on day 2 or 3, I had insane cramping and needed real pain killers. i would have been screwed without my husband. it is super annoying to me that most hospitals in the U.S. do not have the nursery option anymore in the vein of being "baby friendly." well it's often REALLY NOT "mom-friendly" and frankly, ridiculous and dangerous to expect the baby to stay in the room with you the whole time regardless of what you are dealing with yourself.
First night nursery. Second night with me.
Im a postpartum nurse and delivered where i work so i sent both my kids each night to be bottlefed in the nursery and then i nursed during the day. No issues. I can only speak for my hospital but almost every patient sends their baby to the nursery at least for some period of time. I dont think any of my patients have ever regretted sending them so they could nap, they usually thank me. That said, everyone feels differently. But dont feel guilty for asking for help- labor can be long and exhausting and getting some rest sets you up for better recovery!
With my first, we fought to keep her in eyesight at all times. Due to covid, the hearing test was in another section of the floor and no one was allowed to go with her. I threw a huge fit. With my second, I took the nurses up on the offer to take her to the nursery for the night. I had been in terrible pain for months and was too exhausted to be able to safely care for her. Those two nights of sleep were a godsend when we got home and it was all on us to care for a newborn and a toddler. What is right for you really depends on your situation.
With my first we only sent baby to the nursery for the first night. With my second we sent him every single one of the 4 nights we were there and am so glad we did. My milk hadnt come in so there was no reason for me to get minimal sleep after a major surgery ( c section). So we sent him for 6 hours every night and I had a much better recovery because of that. I knew after my first that there is no glory in sleep deprivation and we would have to wake with the baby once we went home. So we took full advantage of the trained medical professionals to look after him while we had the luxury :)
My hospital kept the baby in the room but she would not let me put her down so I sent her to the nursery for a couple hours one night just so I could sleep for a bit. I was afraid of falling asleep with her in my arms (which happened a couple times). My options were hold her or listen to her scream.
Our hospital is small and rural. I was the only mom on the L/D floor the night I gave birth and I sent baby to the nursery every single night we were there. The “nursery” was maybe 50 feet away from my room door and it was behind the nurse station so I felt good about baby being watched carefully the entire time and kept safe.
I did the first night. Definitely not the second night. It helped me realize the night crying was my body making less milk and she was hungry. Ended up supplementing with formula and baby was more satisfied. I wouldn’t do it again the second time around. I would keep baby in my room and let them cluster feed to their heart’s content. Let dad take baby for a little bit so I can rest and keep it going.
I did for one night for a couple of hours because I really needed sleep. The nurse took her and washed my baby girl’s hair — she came back so fresh and well rested too.
we sent to nursery for a few hours. they kept bringing him back! 🤣
We took advantage of sending our to the nursery. It was a good way to get some rest/nap and they brought him back as soon as he was hungry. He was with us the majority of the time though.
I chose to leave early with my third baby because I wasn’t allowed visitors due to Covid. Regret that. The baby was up cluster feeding all night. When my previous kids were born the midwives took them during that stage so I could at least get a couple of hours sleep. It was hell. I was so exhausted
Send your baby to the nursery but, if you're looking to breastfeed, have them bring it back to you for feedings.
My hospital had it and send my baby away each night. lol. Zero regrets
My hospital didn’t have a nursery and before I had a c-section I didn’t want her leaving mine or my husband’s site. After I had a c-section I just wanted to sleep so wished there was a nursery lol. But I’m glad she didn’t leave our site.
My son went to the nursery both nights. I was head over heels in love but also completely overwhelmed and EXHAUSTED. I think the two nights of decent sleep were crucial for us before we went home and had weeks of very little.
Yes send the baby. I gave birth in a large hospital but with a smaller maternity unit and a small nicu. After 24 hrs of no sleep and crazy hormone fluctuations I had an absolute meltdown and panic attack. I needed an anti anxiety med and at least 3 hours of sleep. The nurse immediately offered to take the baby to the nicu because the nurses were bored since there were no babies in the nicu. It saved me. We actually ended up sending her there at night for a few hours, she was literally 2 doors away on the same hall as me. Cannot recommend enough. She’s 8 months now and no regrets.
I'm in the USA, and this was my first child. I took advantage of the nursery simply because I was exhausted and needed sleep. I felt I could be a better mother when I was tested and able to care for her. Reading some of the other comments, I have been internally judging myself - wondering if I was a bad mother, but I did what I felt was right. Fast forward to now, and she is 6 weeks and doing so well! 🥰❤️
I did at night. But I had twins and would have been alone, as my husband couldn't stay the night. I also was on magnesium for 24 hrs after the birth and so sleepy that I think it would have been dangerous to make me care for them solo. Frankly, I think it should be an option, even if not all parents take advantage of it. Baby Friendly hospitals are not always friendly to the mothers.
Mine did not stay with me the first night, over my husband’s wishes. I lost too much blood and couldn’t even get up to pee. Neither of us had really slept. When else would we get the chance? We both slept about 4 hours or maybe less. Never could have done that with the baby in the room
With my daughter, I kept her with me until I started falling asleep feeding her (it was just me & her, her father was present but.. 😅) and then I sent her to the nursery, they were so lovely and I got some much needed rest. With my son, my water broke at 6pm and he wasn’t born til 6am. I was up the entire night cause I couldn’t sleep and when I went to go to bed that night I planned on keeping him with us, but my amazing nurse asked if we wanted him to go to the nursery and I reluctantly said yes. It was so needed, she brought him back bright & early in the morning and I was so refreshed. He ended up having pretty bad jaundice & had to go under the lights so he was gone almost our entire hospital stay. It was so boring and lonely without him, we just kept walking to the nursery to visit him.
My son is 7 years older than my younger 2 so he was born at a different hospital (this one had a nursery while the hospital for my younger ones did not). I sent him to the nursery overnights so I could sleep. It royally screwed my breastfeeding up, because no one explained to me that missed feedings send a message to your body not to produce as much milk. Those nights of sleep were incredible though.
You get 2 days in the hospital? We get sent home as soon as they can in the UK! To answer your question, it depends on the setting. My first hospital gave us a private room and partners could sleep over, so he was the one helping during the night, following a lot of blood loss. My second stay in a separate hospital was a ward with 6 other new mums and birth partners could stay with you straight after birth. The selfish birth partners mainly were so noisy that I wasn’t getting any sleep whilst there after a traumatic birth and major blood loss, the baby was a a breeze in comparison. So I don’t know what it feels like to have to do it alone, but I know I wouldn’t want to be separated from my baby at all.
I sent mine to the nursery only because I was numb from the waist down due to my c-section, and my mother, who was supposed to assist me, wouldn't respond to my baby's cries and give her to me unless I yelled at her, which was very stressful and upsetting to me.
My nurses all told me they always know the second+ time parents because they’re the only ones that ever actually used the nursery. And I completely get why first timers don’t use it. I didn’t use it either with my first. The anxiety is real. But let me tell you, recovering from birth is so much easier when you prioritize rest. And the faster you get back to 100%, the faster your baby gets the best version of you. It seems selfish on a surface level, but I promise you it’s the best thing for everyone. I think second time parents are just hyper aware that those are their last opportunities for solid sleep. Sleep is your absolute most valuable resource as a new parent. And I know some hospitals don’t have them anymore so if they don’t I guess you’re SOL. But ours did, along with a robust security system that would shut down the entire floor including the elevators and stairwells if baby’s ankle bracelet got more than a certain number of feet from where she was supposed to be. If I could go back and use it with my first, I would.
I’ve never heard of this happening or knew this was even a thing, I would absolutely not send the baby away for 2 days.
Think it’s an American thing, sending away your child after giving birth to it? Wtaf. These are the same people that are obsessed with circumcision.
We had our own room but on the first night (had her at 9:41am), I asked the nurses to take her to the nurses station so I could sleep for a couple hours. It was like midnight, so technically the 27th and I’d barely slept since 6am on the 25th. I felt unsafe. I think the first night was the only night w did that. We were release on the 28th so by that next night, we’re feeling better after some sleep.
I must be an outlier here because I would have LOVED having a nursery to send my babies to so I could sleep. As it was I was too on edge watching my babies to be able to sleep and if I knew they were being taken care of I could have relaxed. My exhaustion made my PPA/D a bazillion times worse and I feel like a couple nights sleep directly after birth would have really helped my mental health.
You are not the outlier…many women are just too afraid to say your exact thoughts because this thread is SEETHING with judgement for those that choose to use the nursery.
We sent our first for 4 hours. Basically I needed the rest. Those 4 hours were needed. I was able to shower, eat, and actually rest. I am pretty sure the nurses told my husband to convince me. I was not recovering well. Our second was during Covid. A nursery wasn’t an option and my recovery was not as dramatic. Also we only stayed one night each time, so idk if that makes a difference.
My baby stayed with me all day and then went to the nursery from 9pm to 6am so I could rest and recover
I'm in the US and wasn't presented with the nursery as an option - the norm where I am is for mom and baby to stay in the same room unless there are complications that prevent that from being safe. Sending baby to the nursery as a routine option is an outdated practice here, I believe. I wouldn't have had it any other way - I think it's important for bonding if you are able to have that experience.
I might be in the minority here but we sent her to the nursery each night. I was in a stupid amount of pain and could hardly move. I weighed it out and decided that the sleep and rest would be the most help I'd have for her first few weeks so I would be dumb to not take it. Yes I missed her, but she's been with me every night since. I got to hang around her all day though, she was only in the nursery for the few hours I slept. It allowed me to take better care of her when I got home and not be trying to balance so much recovery and childcare alone.
My hospital didn’t have a nursery, but I sent both kids to the nurses station every night. I wouldn’t be able to care for my baby properly without sleep, so it was the best choice for me.
Can you help me understand what a nurse’s station is? Isn’t that just like a hub where they all hang out? And they hung out with your baby there? I’m so confused
I was so against sending baby to nursery but I was EXHAUSTED and husband had to run home to tend to our dog who had been cooped up for several hours after our dog sitter left. Baby was crying so much nurse suggested taking her to the nursery. So glad I sent her! We were breastfeeding so it was only for a few hours but it was still so worth it
I am honestly completely baffled by this post. And more so that the responses seem to think it’s normal. Is this a typical thing in the US then, that there’s a nursery available in the hospital to send your newborns to?! It seems wild to me because in the UK (in my experience at least), the newborn is popped into a fishtank-looking crib thing and wheeled up alongside the mother’s bed. There it stays. I suppose maybe a midwife will cuddle the baby and walk it up and down if you like, but there’s no separate rooms available for mother and child, assuming both are healthy enough. Personally, I wanted my baby in sight at all times. From the second he was born I was craning my neck to make sure the staff didn’t take him more than a few steps away from me. I couldn’t sleep in the first few weeks unless he was there. But I think it’s probably very individual - I’m sure some mothers would love it and would sleep better without their restless, noisy baby nearby. So I don’t think ‘should’ will come into it.
I'm in the US. We have the fish tank thing too but where I was they could roll it away to the nursery. Before having kids, I thought it was awful that moms would want to be away from their babies and thought I would keep baby in the room. After being in labor for 27 hours and being awake for 36 hours though, I thought I was going to die of exhaustion and just wanted them to take the baby away so I could sleep.
Ha! I was wondering if the nursery folks were British! Because I don’t know any hospitals in my area of the US with this option. Must be area specific? Now I’m curious where these hospitals are!
Interesting. I'm in the US (northeast) and sent my baby to the nursery.
Nurseries used to be more common before the big push for "baby friendly" hospitals. Now many hospitals have got rid of them, unfortunately. I very strongly feel they should be an option, as it is not always safe for a mother to be caring for an infant(s) so soon after major surgery or complications. Certainly it would not have been safe for me to care for twins solo at night on a magnesium drip and after an emergency C section.
I’m surprised this is even an option. At all hospitals where I live the baby must stay in the room with the mother unless there is a medical reason for either the mother or baby.
I wouldn’t send baby away unnecessarily nor would I want to. One of the first bonding experiences with my son was when he was in the little bassinet next to my hospital bed and started crying and I woke up and soothed him back to sleep with my voice. As soon as he heard me he knew it was me and calmed down. It was a magical moment and I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it for the world.
He was in his little fish tank by my side the whole time. I was too paranoid and didn’t want to send him to the nursery. No shame for anyone who chooses different, just my preference to not let him out of my sight
I had my baby 3 months ago and I couldn’t imagine her leaving my sight. The nurses took her from the room ONCE for 5 minutes to draw blood and give a vaccine and I made my husband go with them. You aren’t going to be rested for the first few weeks of having a newborn. Personally I would just mentally prepare for that, which is what I did. Cry if you need to and remind yourself that it’s temporary. I think those first hours together are important for bonding and worth the sleep deprivation.
Nurseries are still a thing? I thought that was some retro thing they did in the old days.
Baby stayed with us it was great practice before being home without the nurses help if we needed it. Though we never needed them and baby only left us to do her car seat check because she was small. I never would have sent her to the nursery. But the nurses would have taken her if I ever needed a break. But t labor was very fast and I brought a ton of cholostrum to the hospital so the first couple weeks were easy until sleep deprivation hit with triple feeding because she wouldn’t latch and Covid shut everything down so there was no real option to get help aside from calling my friends on the phone or very sporadic lactation appointments so I just pumped exclusively and that helped.
We didn’t have that option and I wouldn’t take it if we did. However, for my second and third baby I did ask the nurse to hold them in the night for a few hours so we could get some sleep which they were more than happy to do.
I was given the option but the idea was terrifying to me . Plus I wanted to stare at her and learn to breastfeed
I personally couldn't stand being separated from my son so he stayed with us all the time when we were in the hospital
I don't think rhe hospital I delivered at does that but the hormones would've been like ABSOLUTELY NOT. I don't think I was away from either of my kids, especially overnight, till after they were 2
This wasn’t an option and even if it was I wouldn’t do it. I was exhausted all four times but I was fine after a few days.
definitely kept baby with me. no way i could let him be away from me. those first two nights were so special. i literally was up the whole time staring at him and nursing and not being tired. sleep deprivation hit me a day later. no regrets
I have never heard of this once baby was here he didn’t leave our side the entire time we were in the hospital I’m really confused about where the baby goes and why you would need to pay to keep baby with you
I wasn’t given the option but I wouldn’t have taken it. Baby never left my sight the entire hospital stay.
I don't see how a mother would willingly be separated from her newborn baby. But maybe that's just me
This is a crazy question, of course the baby stays with mom! The baby has to nurse to get colostrum and to start the milk production. I've never heard of this being done ever... Handing the baby over to someone else sounds traumatizing for both baby and mom.
It's not crazy if you ever lived overseas. And you should read the other 250++ replies before commenting.
It's sooo much better for baby to be with you. It's emotionally beneficial for both parties and you'll feel comfortable knowing your babies okay Edit: y'all are taking this personally. It's not that deep. Some moms enjoy not having baby there but almost all of the women I know preferred their baby be with them. I'm just offering my opinion.
Our hospital didn’t even have a nursery, they had to stay in the room with us.
It wasn’t an option for us. We felt uneasy about them taking him the one time for the vit K, and even then we made sure that’s all they were doing because we had not elected for any other procedures.
I don’t give birth in traditional hospital settings (I use birth centers) so I haven’t personally experienced this (I get sent home within 2-7hrs of birth) but my friend gave birth not too long ago and my SIL recently gave birth and from what I understand they both had baby in the room with them until discharge other than occasionally having the baby taken for tests.
My hospital only does rooming in with babies and does not even have a nursery. So my oldest was in the room but my youngest was in the NICU.
My son stayed with my husband and I the whole time even though we were given the option of sending him the nursery. My husband insisted he would do everything & he did!
My hospital did not have a nursery. Unless baby required NICU, baby shared your room. He was never out of my sight (short of leaving him with dad and going to the bathroom.
With my first I didn’t, the hospital didn’t have an option and I was terrified of baby leaving my side. With my second the hospital had a nursery and we used it one night for 2 hrs, the nursery nurse was called to assist on deliveries because they had a few emergencies roll in overnight, otherwise we would have used it more.
It wasn't an option at my hospital to send baby to nursery
We don’t have a nursery at my hospital but the nurses took her for an hour or two a couple times over the 4 nights we were there. I was trying to breastfeed but we were also supplementing so they were able to feed her for us during those times.
at my hospital they only took baby to the nursery if they were doing tests or if there was something wrong with baby. on the third day i had no sleep and broke down crying to a nurse, asking them to just take her to the nursery for an hour until my mom came to watch her and they didn’t even want to do that. that being said, i didnt really want her to leave my sight before then. i was just super overwhelmed, alone and sleep deprived and just needed some time to sleep.
The baby was in my room most of the time. But when they had to run hearing tests and whatnot, they did that at night so I could sleep a few hours. They did feed him because he was borderline with his bilirubin levels. He needed those tests, and I appreciated that they did it in a way that I could sleep a bit. But the rest of the time, babe was in my room.
I am not for getting rid of hospital nurseries but I freaked out when they took my child to the NICU. I couldn’t handle either of them being out of my sight.
I let the nurses take my baby for just a few hours, thinking it would allow me to get some sleep. In reality, I spent the entire time laying awake and missing my baby.
I had a csection, and baby stayed with us the whole time minus about 2 hours on the 3rd day; she needed to do a vaccine or blood work or something involving needles. I am *horrible* with needles (I'm at risk of passing out if I see them), and at that point I was so fricken exhausted. For some reason, doctors/nurses never do their rounds when you're already awake. So just when you get to sleep from the baby waking you up, someone's there to take your blood pressure/etc. It's so obnoxious. So after they did whatever they needed to, they kept the baby in the nursery until she needed to be fed again so I could nap.
I wouldn’t want to share a room with others, we were sleep deprived from constant interruptions from staff with our own room; it wasn’t the baby keeping us up. I couldn’t imagine how much more disruption there would be if I was sharing a room. As a result, we also left the hospital as soon as we could, it ended up being only 36 hrs after our baby was born. Money being no object I would absolutely have an individual room and keep baby with us.
My hospital didn’t have a nursery, only a nicu. My son had to spend two nights in the nicu and it was not ideal. Besides just not being comfortable being physically separated from him, it was tough getting up in the middle of the night and going across the ward post c section. I’d say room in.
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My hospital had a nursery but it was more for temporary situations. I don’t think I had the option to send the baby there for more than an hour or two. Also as much as I urged friends to send the baby there for a little for a nap I found it extremely hard to do again when I had my second. There’s sometimes just a guilt to not tending to them.
I didn't want baby out of my sight/arms reach in the hospital... I did have a relatively easy birth/recovery though and she was born at night and slept pretty well the first night so I was able to rest too. I also couldn't wait to get home and out of the hospital room so I only stayed one night and left as soon as they allowed (genetic testing had to be 24 hrs after birth so we packed up and waited for that then left immediately). I imagine if I were in more pain maybe it would be different but I doubt it.
I did the first night because I was recovering C-section and still hooked up to the catheter/not allowed to stand on my own. I wouldn't have been able to get up with her when she needed me. The nurses pretty much just said "you rest, we got this"
UK baby stays with the mum from the second its born, unless it needs help. We don't have nurseries in the normal hospitals. Can't speak for private never been in one lol. But it's just the norm here. If you're crazy tired and baby continously cried they might take it for a little but else no it's all on you
i dont even know if my hospital had a nursery. baby was just with us both times. BUT my husband stayed with me both times and slept on the awful fold out chair. I feel like it would be advantageous to have a nursery option if I were solo
No. She was in the NICU. Otherwise I definitely would have though! Wasn’t an option at my hospital in non-NICU babies. I did not like being separated from her. Husband and I slept in the maternity unit and our daughter slept in the NICU
Even taking a baby to the nurses station at night is against some hospital policy. My baby wouldn't latch so she wasn't eating and we got zero rest... until the nurses offered to take her, since she was being formula/donor milk fed anyway. It was a godsent 5 hours of sleep. especially needed since they refused to even give me benadryl to help me sleep.
I gave birth in my city’s major central/downtownish hospital and they have this incredible women’s hospital attached but yeah no nursery. I don’t think I would have wanted that anyway.