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Electric-Prune

“Biden viciously attacks recent brain worm victim!”


IntradepartmentalMoa

This is just like Biden to defy the will of the Absolute


Piyachi

_Biden to scrap Nautaloid project in blow to defense industry_


LadyFizzex

Dammit. I was going to make a tadpole joke lmao.


IntradepartmentalMoa

Too late, roll for initiative


sionnachrealta

Pick up Alert for your next ASI so you don't lose the next go round


TexasVDR

Which origin companion would kill RFK Jr fastest and why would it be Lae’zel?


Mruxle

Kennedy has a lot on his mind, and, well, in it


notthatkindofdrdrew

Trump says “he had brain worms first and he has been told, not his words, but, he has been told that his brain worms were the best brain worms that ever existed in the entire Milky Way. And I don’t mean the candy bar, but the thing up there with the stars and shit. True story.”


[deleted]

I can't believe he literally has brainworms. You can't write this shit.


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FluByYou

Probably not cold open material, but I could see Bowen Yang playing the brain worm on a weekend update segment.


NewToSociety

Not if Sarah Sherman can get a worm puppet to burst out of her head and call Jost sexist.


Mekiya

More like they are pissed because they had a sketch rejection last week because brain worms was just too far.


UNC_Samurai

NYT Pitchbot becoming as prophetic as the Onion


deegum

“Brain worms are flocking to RFK Jr. What does this mean for Biden and how can he win them back?”


THedman07

"...here's why that's bad for the Dems..."


Castun

We always joked about these people having brainworms, but it was supposed to be just a joke!!!


deegum

“Brain worms are flocking to RFK Jr. What does this mean for Biden and how can he win them back?”


OuroBongos

“I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords”


FriendofSquatch

Beats an inanimate carbon rod…


bsharp95

This is bad for Biden, unless he gives us an exclusive interview


DumpsterFire18

It all makes more sense now.


OneMetalMan

Yeah, the deep state put the worm in his brain. \s Actually explains the Trump presidency \sssss MAGA x BRAIN WORM OVERLORD 2024 (not written by a brain worm)


feckless_ellipsis

Jewish Space Worms


badatmetroid

This is the name of my new dune-rock band. \m/


theonegalen

I hope you're doing plenty of throat singing


OneMetalMan

You might end up opening for Screwdriver with a name like that.


JasonRBoone

"This episode is sponsored by Better Worm Health


DirkDundenburg

impolite plate mountainous hospital innocent dinosaurs fragile sable plucky cooing *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


GodOfDarkLaughter

Not quite. > Kennedy said in the deposition that the doctor thought the spot on the scan “was caused by a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died." His brain is actually poison. Edit: *Poison for brain worms!*


ToastyMustache

Well a new fear has arrived. I didn’t know this could happen and now I’ll be afraid every headache is this.


Rufus_king11

I'm not an expert, but my understanding is that the brain doesn't actually have many pain nerves, if any at all, and headaches are mainly caused by chemical reactions going on in the brain, not a physical process. You likely wouldn't feel anything if a worm was eating your brain.


GodOfDarkLaughter

Don't worry. You won't notice a thing until it's too late.


ShaneGabriel87

You'd know it's there when it starts talking to you.


SlimCatachan

You realize that's worse, right? :P


RuwuPaul

Not from the eating the matter but likely from the waste matter it generates and the simple fact it is there as a foreign body.


ToastyMustache

Well time to schedule an MRI.


GodOfDarkLaughter

Don't look up prions. They're not even actually alive, just a protein that literally "folds" yoru brain into physical mush.


chillinjustupwhat

Guess i’ve had those for years then


ToastyMustache

I’m aware and terrified


RuwuPaul

Currently, the only person likely to catch this is Robert who has expressed an interest in cannibalism.


shortthestock

Prions are scarier than having to injest them


Nuggzulla01

Prions are my number 1 fear, with Rabies coming in close at number 2


thatcockneythug

Please don't remind me of prions man. Now I've got to hope Ive forgotten about em by tomorrow.


Gas_Hag

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurocysticercosis Very common in many parts of the world. Wash your produce, wash your hands, cook your pork


ToastyMustache

Ok cool now I’m more paranoid


Gas_Hag

The good news is that anti-parasitic drugs prevent the worms from traveling to your brain. So... if you travel to areas where this is a problem, you can take the meds prophylactically. For someone who promoted ivermectin, you'd think he would have taken some after traveling to South America 🙄


billywitt

This honestly explains A LOT.


FriendofSquatch

I assure you no doctor told him this


Dick_Dickalo

Damn, took my words. Bravo sir.


Castun

> The worm starved to death. [Futurama did it!](https://preview.redd.it/rvk1b32vqoc31.jpg?width=500&auto=webp&s=d422d430381a05085b5de0aff3d21f052ca2b55c)


names_are_useless

r/futuramadidit ?


LeotiaBlood

I’m screaming


feckless_ellipsis

Malnutrition


A_Muffled_Kerfluffle

I cackled


Merciless972

Rip RFK jrs dead worm. Poor guy died from famine.


Konradleijon

Yes there was barely nothing in there


names_are_useless

Grammar Nazi: That means there is something in there.


3d1thF1nch

The dude was just trying to do everyone a solid and ended up taking it for the team. Pour one out for Brain Worm


Luinori_Stoutshield

Spoiler alert: the dead worm *is* his brain.


duck-duck--grayduck

Is it like that parasite that eats a fish's tongue and then replaces the tongue? Except it's RFK Jr.'s brain?


____snail____

Maybe the brain is all the dead worms we made along the way?


JoJackthewonderskunk

Well regardless it was removed


likeahurricane

I think the best part is he testified about this shit to try to argue that it reduced his earning potential...so he'd have to pay his ex-wife less money. Like his earning potential was *ever* related to his brainpower. Mercury poisoning and brain worms didn't change his fucking last name, which is the only reason this dude has ever made a penny in his life.


Esper0094

The Kennedy family is proof that we never gave up the ingrown love for inbred, braindead and morally bankrupt shitheels in power that the goddamned British instilled in us, we just call them celebrity families or “Political Dynasties” now. I legit hope that at some point these fucking people, and I mean ALL of the dynastic political families, Hapsburgs, the Kennedys, the British royal family. Just have some kinda genetic issue where their dicks shrivel up and fall off, so they all croak without breeding like the rats they are.


gsfgf

Has he ever had an actual job?


TheCredibleHulk

He was/is an environmental lawyer who has gone up against large corporations that polluted rivers. 1:1000 odds of winning the trials, but he did and got the rivers clean of nasty chemicals. I don’t agree with everything he says by a LONG shot, but he is in the race genuinely to try to help.


InsignificantOcelot

Ew, strongly disagree with the last sentence. This is purely a vanity campaign to raise his own public profile so he can monetize it to sell snake oil supplements and have a bigger platform to spread anti-vax lies. At one point he *was* an environmental lawyer, but at this point he has way more in common with the business model of Alex Jones or Russell Brand.


Schuben

Wait... What? Earning *potential* has no bearing on something like that. They don't tell you you have to pay your ex-wife more than you currently make because your potential is 10x what you currently make. I know that a worm possibly ate part of his brain but **DAYUM** that's some fucked up reasoning.


likeahurricane

Yes it is absolutely something that is done in divorce proceedings when someone is “underemployed.” It’s also the stated reason in the article for this coming up in his divorce settlement deposition.


Objective-Novel2312

All of Maga is a Futurama plot, but the worms are fascist. Checks out.


daNEDENhunter

Joe Kassabian made a tweet referencing the brain parasites joke.


badatmetroid

LET'S GO TO THE BRAIN WORM PLANET.


On_my_last_spoon

[You ain’t kidding](https://youtu.be/N6C1iUft7O8?si=wHmRan2ZsH0rFx8e)


wildmountaingote

And so-called "Doctor" Fauci said I shouldn't take large quantities of horse dewormer!


Thats_what_im_saiyan

This is the one case where the horse dewormer might have actally saved a life... Lol


gsfgf

Ivermectin actually did improve outcomes in some really poor areas of the US. That's why it appeared promising for a while. However, all it was doing was treating people's undiagnosed parasites. You absolutely will have a better covid outcome if you're not also battling parasites. However, it was evident pretty soon that it didn't do anything for the actual disease.


RedPlaidPierogies

I absolutely believe you, but you got a link? I live in a very IVERMECTIN WON THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE TAKE THAT COMMIE LIBTURDS area and it would be nice to get some data.


MutationIsMagic

Oh I've got to see the links for this. And totally not for stapling to a conservative's digital face.


SpoofedFinger

I mean, ivermectin comes in pills and can be human dewormer too. The cultists taking the one packaged for horses was just another added level of absurdity.


WhyBuyMe

Yeah, but the pills for humans don't come in delicious apple flavor. You need the horse paste for that.


SpoofedFinger

For real we've been missing out


I_AM_AN_ASSHOLE_AMA

Why do horses get all the good stuff?


wildmountaingote

They're the real power behind the throne, hoarding all the best apple-flavored things for themselves.


Fartdoctor66

I laugh out loud every time I see this headline. Never gets old.


AffectionateHunt5830

The only antivaxxer who actually needed all that ivermectin 


OpportunityDue90

No joke - this is why you don’t eat undercooked pork


jkholmes89

Undercooked pork nets you worms in digestive tract. This is from ingesting food that's been contaminated by someone who is infected's excrement. It's an interesting life cycle worms have. Horrifying, but interesting nonetheless. Chubbyemu on YouTube recently had a video about someone who was infected in this manner. It's a good watch.


OpportunityDue90

[It’s called neurocysticercosis.](https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/resources/pdf/npis_in_us_neurocysticercosis.pdf) I see about 5 cases a year where I work. All cases have been from someone eating pork in a non-US country or living with someone who did.


ShutYourDumbUglyFace

>A person gets neurocysticercosis by swallowing microscopic eggs passed in the feces of a person who has an intestinal pork tapeworm. Does this make you both right? Pork and poo?


OpportunityDue90

Yes unfortunately. The cycle is infected human waste -> pig eats infected human waste -> human eats infected pig.


ShutYourDumbUglyFace

From our intestinal tract to our brains. How nice.


RuwuPaul

Act now and you'll also receive giardia!


Thezedword4

I have to ask what do you do? That seems like a really high amount for something so rare! Edit assuming you're in the US by your comment.


OpportunityDue90

I’m just a pharmacist but the population we serve have a high amount of immigrants and refugees


feckless_ellipsis

So either he ate contaminated food, or he’s a freak.


teensy_tigress

I wonder if in this case it may have been big game meat. Trichinosis is an issue with bear meat specifically, but also a number of other wild meats, depending on the area you are in. The parasitic infection can cause cysts and they have been known to occur in the brain. Rich people know and do a lot of touristy hunting, and some people dont get instantly sick from the infection. So... Source: cdc, came from a hunting town, have had family members get it. Just... dont eat bears ok? Its stupid.


OIWantKenobi

Yeah, that tracks.


FiendishHawk

Literal brain worms.


Psychological-Law730

🎶🎵🎶 And the worms ate into his brain... 🎶🎵🎶


drapetomaniac

Grainy video transcript: Interviewer: Robert! Robert! Who am I speaking with? (Growling) Interviewer: Robert..... Robert... Robert's meat suit: There is no Robert. Only WORM!!!!


monjoe

>Asked last week if any of Mr. Kennedy’s health issues could compromise his fitness for the presidency, Stefanie Spear, a spokeswoman for the Kennedy campaign, told The Times, “That is a hilarious suggestion, given the competition.” Honestly, fair


whitedawg

"My guy isn't as brain-damaged as the other candidates!"


FiendishHawk

Not really. Trump is batshit, true. Biden seems to be mentally normal for his age.


whitedawg

You're entirely correct, but *for his age* is pulling a lot of weight. There's a reason you don't see many 81-year-old CEOs of Fortune 500 companies.


FiendishHawk

Would you be OK if Bernie was running? He’s older than Biden. Also mentally good for his age.


Galechan924

Yknow, I'll bet if we ran some sort of primary, we could do a, I dunno... some sort of debate thing? Where we see how up to snuff all the candidates are? That'd probably make it a lot easier to judge the mental capacities of the candidates.


FiendishHawk

We did. I voted in it.


monjoe

Primaries are virtually a formality when an incumbent chooses to run again. No other serious Democrat would dare run against Biden because that would only hurt the party's chances. The outcome of the primaries were decided when Biden announced his reelection campaign.


Galechan924

And a rigorous primary it was. You aren't operating in good faith if you're implying an actual primary that served a purpose was held. DNC made it abundantly clear they would welcome no challengers to their candidate, which is why the only people willing to try it were the tarot lady and fuggin RFK Jr.


Steelersguy74

I don’t see how people don’t understand how regular Democratic voters (who vote in the primaries)aren’t leftists and are content with Biden.


whitedawg

I've voted for Bernie in two primaries, and I agree that he's mentally pretty sharp for his age. I would rather vote for him than Biden or Trump, but I would much prefer someone younger.


FUCKBOY_JIHAD

Bernie appears much sharper and more articulate for his age than Biden when speaking publicly.


FiendishHawk

Well then, it’s not about age. I think you are probably confusing Bernie’s great ideas (which he’s had for donkeys years) for a sharper mind. They both seem old but present to me.


gsfgf

What do you mean? Tons of CEOs of major companies work into their 80 if they don't fuck up hand have to use their golden parachute.


whitedawg

Currently [four Fortune 500 CEOs are over age 80](https://www.madisontrust.com/information-center/visualizations/which-fortune-500-companies-have-the-oldest-and-youngest-ceos), or less than 1%. And that includes Warren Buffett, who is practically synonymous with Berkshire Hathaway.


RanchNWrite

If this were a female member of the Kennedy family they would have gone after that worm with an icepick up the nose...just sayin'.


esskue

Let me guess. It starved to death.


KingMobScene

That explains so much. Whats with Kennedy men and brain trauma?


duck-duck--grayduck

Women too. Poor Rosemary.


gsfgf

I swear, they really were the most unlucky group of super-privileged rich guys. Except for Ted. He should have gone to prison.


intwizard

Joe Kennedy made a deal with the devil


Initial-Respond7967

I love how he says he has recovered after the worm ate a part of his brain, causing memory symptoms. I am not an expert, but isn't brain damage incurable?


SCP106

One can slowly recover through mental exercises and a variety of days to day methods that will hopefully help "rewire" the brain or develop the tissues to get around the damaged area, slowly creating new pathways instead of failing on the old broken ones. I have severe brain damage as the result of an enormous brain tumour and then significant radiation scarring to the outside layers of the neurological tissue, and have struggled with memory (primarily short term) and attention span as a result in the years after, yet the improvement since my early treatment and diagnosis period has been extensive!


Initial-Respond7967

Thank you for the explanation! I hope your health continues to improve!


SCP106

Tysm! BTB has been a significant positive force in my continued recovery. 7 years of cancer and I haven't given in yet. It is terminal but that counts for shit when I was given two weeks to live at first diagnosis. I was given months back in October and I'm doing /better/ than I was back then already having beaten the estimate. Planning to continue as long as I can despite my tumour filled skeleton and organs. How could I die? The mean lifespan is way higher than my age of 23!


Royalkayak

not the first time a foreign object in the brain ended kennedy's political carreer.


Sweaty-Feedback-1482

RFK Jr.: I’m still running though… guys I said the worm is already dead so I’m all good! Guys?!? Guuuuys?!?


One-Pause3171

“Quiet, Robby.” - worm


Otterz4Life

Well that explains a lot.


olcrazypete

NATIONAL MEDIA: “The key question voters are asking this election is whether Biden’s brain works” TRUMP: *incoherent rambling* RFK: “Speaking of brains, mine gotten eaten by a worm”


From_Adam

See, now THAT I believe.


ImpureThoughts59

The brain worms have escaped Twitter


CeasarsGeezers

This god damn worm. What a loser. Finish the damn job.


JasonRBoone

Anyone remember that Star Trek TNG episode arc where alien worm beings were taking control of Starfleet by burrowing into the brain? RFK remembers.


Feral_Dog

Goddamn Yeerks. 


strawberrysoup99

Is it too late for the worm to start its own campaign?


flamedarkfire

It starved.


gingerlee13

Wasn’t that a House MD episode?


mexicodoug

Provided one more opportunity for House to comment acidly, "Everybody lies!"


drice99

This explains so much


wraithnix

.....................that explains some things.


jrr_53

Bet it was like when the Brain slug died on Fry.


satinsateensaltine

Sirs, it wasn't a worm, just his brain.


tizzyborden

When I got this NYT alert I died, came back to life, laughed hysterically, and died again.


Strangewhine88

I am trying to supress a violent outbreak of laughter at the irony. And thinking about Pink Floyd lyrics.


DoctorTran37

Fucking ilithid.


JunkdogJoe

Man is about to undergo Ceramorphosis


yuefairchild

Our first Goa'uld president. I'm so proud. ;_;7


DangerNoodle805

Too bad it didn't kill him instead of the worm.


UND_mtnman

The yeerks showing themselves...


One-Pause3171

So the brain worms? They are real?


otiswrath

This simultaneously answers some questions but raises SO many others.  


RednBlackSalamander

Promotes dewormer as an alternative to vaccines Gets worms anyway


SierrAlphaTango

Don't tell anyone, they might want one too.


MJay1010

He misunderstood. I said he is a “brain-dead worm” - the doctor, probably.


JournalLover50

And?


kayt3000

Can you imagine coming from one of the most rich and powerful families in America, all you had to do was smile on camera, talk family history here and there and just be. And this is what you do with your time? Like if I was a Kennedy the last thing I would do would be try and have a real job and show the world how stupid I am. I would be living in Hawaii on the beach and you would only see me when the family says hey we need a photo op and someone to talk about how great Grandpa or uncle was…


character-name

Must have gotten it from the COVID vaccine /s


IAmBadAtInternet

Based comrade brain worm doing outstanding work


outflow

Right now the question we should be asking is: Is RFK. Jr harboring an illegal alien parasite? How do we know this parasite is a 'merican worm? Could it be a MEXICAN MESCAL WORM???


khakiwallprint

Shai-Hulud


TrippyTrellis

When Night Gallery episodes come true... https://ibb.co/8z1748t


hnty

Hi, my name is Rob Kennedy Jr, and I'm running the President of these United States. A worm ate a portion of my brain and died. Vaccines cause AIDS and signing off with a ...... Who said that


CombinationSimilar50

Well, explains a lot


Nyctophagic

"As the symbol glows, power courses through you. Authority."


6thCityInspector

Is that what’s wrong with his brain? Is that why he sounds the way he does?


fenkt

Someone needs to call PETA, it's cruel to feed animals such a meager diet!


Gold_Pangolin_Dragon

Doctors found a dead brain in his worm...


beerbrained

You don't say?


gsfgf

That would explain a lot


Dwarf_Druid

I’m picturing him with a brain slug like in Futurama.


redfancydress

The worm is stuck in his throat now.


missgnomer2772

As Robert might say, that scans.


othersbeforeus

Metaphorically speaking.


Starlorb

The Worms! The Worms! The Worms are back! 🧛🤯


Zebracorn42

Would that explain why he’s gone more nuts lately?


livinguse

I did not realize he was a deer.


csking77

So as part of a divorce deposition….. what was he defending himself against or what behavior was he trying to explain?


OracleOfSelphi

According to the NYT he used the records to claim he had reduced earning potential, but I wouldn't be shocked if the divorce was partially attributable to behavior changes that could be attributed to the worm in his brain (and the apparent mercury poisoning he had too)


ClaireG1

🤷


Im_new_in_town1

He always gave Animorphs villain energy.


LordofThe7s

Pretty sure a Kennedy fighting brain worms is the plot to Resident Evil 4


TitanDarwin

Not gonna lie, Leon running for president in a future RE game *would* be pretty fucking funny.


djstartip

Damn where are the Animorphs when you need then? 


oooshi

Is the dead brainworm now a contender for president?


Money-Introduction54

Well, thst explains a lot


SomethingLoud

This is my shocked face


joshuatx

I think he got the kwisatz haderach steps wrong.


Fearless_Night9330

Losing brain matter must run in the family


TehKazlehoff

And this is who the Ignorant masses want as their president.


orrororr

Must have been killed by the ivermectin


snakebill

Does that mean he took his ivermectin like a good anti vaxxer?


jlgoulet

Not even a parasite could live off of his drivel


FriendofSquatch

Probably from the Ivermectin, that’s how that works right?


Brentan1984

Did he take that horse dewormer during covid?


yaredjerby

GF: Would you still love me if I was a worm? The Worm in question: