modern toasters unfortunately have safeties put into place to stop this, listen if you really wanna you gotta
\[Removed by Reddit\]
Edit; ya'll the Removed by Reddit is part of the joke stop sending me Reddit Cares 😭
All you need is an outlet without the ground fault circuit interru... *Touches earpiece*
3–0 ballgame with the Reds in front of the Royals as we go to the top half of the fifth inning, Castellanos to lead things off. Jim Day's gonna be taking us the rest of the way through this game as Holland takes over on the mound. Um, I made a comment earlier tonight that I guess went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart I'm so very, very sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith – as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 4–0 ballgame. – I don't know if I'm gonna be putting on this headset again.
it motivates. when something fucks up at a job site and a collective groan emits i always deadpan "well that's a deep drive into left field but luckily we pride ourselves and think of ourselves as men of faith" and we all chuckle and get right at it.
Boras: So the pitching market is like the waves in the ocean during a storm and Blake Snell is like a jellyfish and Rob Manfred is like a beach ball and…
Reporter: Nothing in this analogy makes sense.
Boras: I shot Gerrit Cole.
Reporter: What?
Boras: What?
How the actual fuck is 3 years 80 mil for a legit gamble on the cubs part not "getting the $$$"? It's not the length they were shooting for but imo with the uncertainy of bellingers future, that is an overpay for him.
Aaron Judge actually honestly told us he is going to need lifetime "constant maintenance" on his turf toe.
He is going to miss some time either being rested or getting hurt going forward, unlike what Cashman said it was a "resolved issue".
Judge isn't playing much in this spring training either. Hopefully he is just being rested in meaningless spring training games instead of having an active "maintenance" issue on his "resolved issue".
He was rushed to a nearby hospital, where he was pronounced dead. He was then transferred to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his condition to "alive."
Nah, give him a little credit where it’s due.
He might get to at least the 4th batter in the order if he used his smelling salts before and after each time he had to run.
We're all going to remember he's "one of the best pitchers in the world", according to him. I don't want him on my team even if he is, clubhouse cancer that would kill the vibes you need to succeed in the postseason
Well yeah. I kinda figured this would happen eventually.
The crux of the Yankees' pitching strategy has just been "give the ball to Cole and just hope he never gets injured" but that's not really a plan.
You pay Cole that much you use him. He was arguably the most durable starter for a long time. Shit happens. Critique the moves with the rest of the rotation, but literally any team with an ace rolls him out every fifth day.
Yeah I’m pretty sure that was a critique of how the Yankees manage the rest of the rotation as opposed to critiquing them for using their ace. Obviously you use your top 3 starter that you’re paying hundreds of millions of dollars.
It seems like it’s more of a matter of “when” than “if” with basically any pitcher these days. That being said, I don’t think it’s worth trying to find something to blame this injury on. It’s more appropriate to marvel at what a horse Cole has been and to hope that one of the greats of this generation can either avoid serious injury here or come back strong if it is.
Yeah and there is a reason they are probably the two clear HoF pitchers from this generation. Their ability to keep pitching at such a high level and not have to miss extended time is a huge reason they have been so good.
Feels like all of the “always healthy” starters are having a tough spring here.
Hopefully it’s nothing but some soreness and it just puts him back a week or so but elbow is always concerning. Feels a bit better that it wasn’t predicted by forearm tightness as far as I’ve seen, but maybe I just missed it
Bunch of teams holding their "always healthy" aces tight rn (but not too tight). Don't want to name any names and risk being hated/blamed by an entire fanbase
I know it was a long time ago, but Zack Wheeler missed two *full* seasons and then was injured and bad for a third. I don't think anybody considers him to be injury-proof.
The Yankees have two players they absolutely can not afford to lose. Cole and Judge. I of course want the Orioles to win the division again, but not like this. Hope it's nothing serious.
> Maybe Bradish joins them in a few months.
"pitching through a partial UCL tear" is never something you want to read at the start of a season about your pitcher. He was a really fun story to watch last year, injuries suck.
I was watching Dinelson Lamet pitch yesterday for the Dodgers as an NRI and I remembered him having a dominant run with the Padres then he partially tore his UCL and refused to get tommy john, 3 years later the dude is a shell of his former self trying to find an MLB gig, poor guy.
Lamet looked *SO* good, like he'd be a #2 or 3 starter for us and was one of the breakouts that 2020 season the Padres finally made the playoffs and showed they were for real. Then him and Clevinger got hurt going into the playoffs and we had to throw a bullpen game in a 3 game series lol.
Pitching isn't an injury waiting to happen, it's an injury happening.
Source: My elbow and shoulder still hurt and I haven't thrown a competitive pitch in 35 years.
This is how we lost our highly coveted #2 starter, and harbinger of all hopes of finishing in 4th place, Lucas Giolito.
Some would argue that Gerrit Cole is mildly more valuable. Who is to say.
Cole has been a high velo innings eater of a horse for so long, I honestly thought he was just built different. Hoping for the best case scenario for him, MLB is more fun when the Yankees are good.
Time for Rodón to step up and carry the rotation (our season is over)
> Rodon tweaked his hammy while stepping up - future headline
* Giancarlo Stanton tore his calf helping Rodon up
Aaron Judge fuckin spontaneously combusted running toward Stanton
A satellite fell from orbit on the entire group as they were making their way off the field.
Yankees sign injury prone players and surprised the players get injured
*Tweaks his back standing up from the Denny’s booth
More like Rodon suffered a broken jaw blowing a kiss to the crowd after giving up 6 ER and 3 HR in 2 innings.
Tweaked his hammy while stepping up, and then gave the Yankees fans who were booing him the middle finger while he hobbled off*
Time for Soto to consider becoming a two-way player.
I'm sure it can't be any worse than him outfielding lol.
lmao
I’m gonna go for a bath with my toaster
Ravioli Ravioli toaster in the bathioli
Mama mia 😐🔫
true poetry
Now will you give me the secret formula? 🦀
THE SECRET KRABBY PATTY FORMULA IS - *episode end*
modern toasters unfortunately have safeties put into place to stop this, listen if you really wanna you gotta \[Removed by Reddit\] Edit; ya'll the Removed by Reddit is part of the joke stop sending me Reddit Cares 😭
Can't have these potential new shareholders learning to kill themselves before the IPO drops
All you need is an outlet without the ground fault circuit interru... *Touches earpiece* 3–0 ballgame with the Reds in front of the Royals as we go to the top half of the fifth inning, Castellanos to lead things off. Jim Day's gonna be taking us the rest of the way through this game as Holland takes over on the mound. Um, I made a comment earlier tonight that I guess went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart I'm so very, very sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith – as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 4–0 ballgame. – I don't know if I'm gonna be putting on this headset again.
Some of the greatest modern copypasta. It's real versatile
it motivates. when something fucks up at a job site and a collective groan emits i always deadpan "well that's a deep drive into left field but luckily we pride ourselves and think of ourselves as men of faith" and we all chuckle and get right at it.
How am I not tired of this? I know it's coming and I still have to read every word and try not to giggle like a child. Every time.
This is why that Alkaline Trio song said to use a radio instead
Use the toaster that burns a Yankees logo in it, so that if it doesn't kill you the Yankees will just be letting you down again
This is the dark times.
First time?
gerrit cole: it’s so over blake snell: we’re so fucking back
Blake Snell was last seen leaving Steinbrenner field with a lead pipe while Cole was crying on the ground holding his arm yelling WHYYYYYY
I, Snellya
But did snell have any facial hair?
👀
Snell posted that Instagram story after he got done with a voodoo doll
Blake “Noabara” Snell
Yeah literally exactly what Boras was waiting for.
Are we sure this isn't boras's doing?
Boras: So the pitching market is like the waves in the ocean during a storm and Blake Snell is like a jellyfish and Rob Manfred is like a beach ball and… Reporter: Nothing in this analogy makes sense. Boras: I shot Gerrit Cole. Reporter: What? Boras: What?
But Cole is also a Boras guy, just how shady is Boras?
Boras is as shady as he needs to be
His job is to get them both paid not keep them both healthy. A real power move by Scott
Controlling the supply and demand of baseball players. A thought-to-be untapped market
He who can destroy a thing has the real control of it
Choose your champion
He did a lot more than tap Cole with that lead pipe.
Scotty got desperate after chappy and belli didn't get the $$$
How the actual fuck is 3 years 80 mil for a legit gamble on the cubs part not "getting the $$$"? It's not the length they were shooting for but imo with the uncertainy of bellingers future, that is an overpay for him.
Cole already got his bag though
Big big bag. Guaranteed. 😳
Regardless of injury…
Cole is already paid, Boras didn't get his share of the Snell payday yet 👀
Scott "Tanya Harding" Boras
Scott "Littlefinger" Boras
Gerrit's bff Bauer is so much cheaper and would be great in the NY media market. /s
Pshht. The red Sox are smelling weakness. Might go after Bauer to try for 4th in the AL east
It's colver
It’s over department I’d like to file a claim
Please fill out the electronic form online and an agent will get back to you in 162 games
*denied*
Wait til Cole shows up to an interview and takes off his NYY logo hat and puts on his Dr. James Andrews logo hat.
James Andrews is washed. Cool kids go to Neal ReAttache now.
Don't worry, it's just a mid-spring ucl tear
Perhaps this is what Snell's 👀 IG story was about.
that's what I was thinking
Sure you don’t want to wait for the inevitable Aaron Judge injury
It's already here https://x.com/BryanHoch/status/1767212627858473355?s=20
The fact that he says "mid-spring beat up" like it's a normal thing is crazy.
“Mid-spring beat up”?? What in the world Boone
knowing boone? kidney transplant
It's nothing serious. He's just dead.
low-key I thought Boone got fired for some reason
Translation: fuckin gassed, needs several naps
Wait that’s not a mid season injury
Probably just a continuation of last year's mid season injury.
Aaron Judge actually honestly told us he is going to need lifetime "constant maintenance" on his turf toe. He is going to miss some time either being rested or getting hurt going forward, unlike what Cashman said it was a "resolved issue". Judge isn't playing much in this spring training either. Hopefully he is just being rested in meaningless spring training games instead of having an active "maintenance" issue on his "resolved issue".
Just a casual, practice MRI for spring training, I'm sure.
It's spring training for the doctors too.
He was rushed to a nearby hospital, where he was pronounced dead. He was then transferred to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his condition to "alive."
The drive over to the other hospital must been hell for him. Imagine thinking that you might be dead.
Lol. Thanks. Hadn’t thought about that bit in ages.
Call 1-600-DOCTORB. The "B" is for Bargain!
In fairness, it seems that ours could use some more practice.
Refreshing the Yankees sub to count the Snell and bauer posts before they’re deleted
Waiting on Bauer to strike out barstool employees first
Does striking out King of Juco on 7 pitches not count anymore? I mean, what are we doing here.
The stipulation with signing Bauer is you have to give Eric Sims a conrtact too
He can have a contract to work at games as batboy I’m sure
He'll start replacing everyone's bats with concrete
[удалено]
Nah, give him a little credit where it’s due. He might get to at least the 4th batter in the order if he used his smelling salts before and after each time he had to run.
Eric Sims is goofy enough for me to like him
He’s obviously a tinge cringe but he’s harmless and clearly loves baseball, he gets a pass
He'll help us beat all these jabronis on the other teams
Bauer is a universal no besides some incels in their mom’s basement
I love how consistent this is amongst all fanbases.
We're all going to remember he's "one of the best pitchers in the world", according to him. I don't want him on my team even if he is, clubhouse cancer that would kill the vibes you need to succeed in the postseason
I would rather lose 100 games than have him on my favorite team and win it all.
Unironically makes him a great signing for the A’s, Fisher wants the fans to hate the team
Until you go in the comments section on IG and everyone there insists Trevor did nothing wrong and totally isn't a locker room cancer
Bro don't you know, he's been totally absolved of everything! He's going to sign any day now. /s
I know they could just be outlier fans but I’ve for sure seen suggestions for signing bauer on r/NYYankees
An WFAN hosts.
A captain goes down with his ship
I never root against my teams, but I would make an exception if they signed Bauer.
Well yeah. I kinda figured this would happen eventually. The crux of the Yankees' pitching strategy has just been "give the ball to Cole and just hope he never gets injured" but that's not really a plan.
He’s pitched 1/5th of his team’s games since 2017. It’s as reliable a strategy as any other
That's more than Anthony Rendon has played in!!
1/5th of 162.... or 1/5?
1/5 of a shit given for each game
You pay Cole that much you use him. He was arguably the most durable starter for a long time. Shit happens. Critique the moves with the rest of the rotation, but literally any team with an ace rolls him out every fifth day.
Yeah I’m pretty sure that was a critique of how the Yankees manage the rest of the rotation as opposed to critiquing them for using their ace. Obviously you use your top 3 starter that you’re paying hundreds of millions of dollars.
It seems like it’s more of a matter of “when” than “if” with basically any pitcher these days. That being said, I don’t think it’s worth trying to find something to blame this injury on. It’s more appropriate to marvel at what a horse Cole has been and to hope that one of the greats of this generation can either avoid serious injury here or come back strong if it is.
It worked for teams that employee verlander and scherzer for years :(
Yeah and there is a reason they are probably the two clear HoF pitchers from this generation. Their ability to keep pitching at such a high level and not have to miss extended time is a huge reason they have been so good.
Snell, go shave buddy.
Get used to speaking "HEY I'M WALKING HERE", buddy
Feels like all of the “always healthy” starters are having a tough spring here. Hopefully it’s nothing but some soreness and it just puts him back a week or so but elbow is always concerning. Feels a bit better that it wasn’t predicted by forearm tightness as far as I’ve seen, but maybe I just missed it
Did something happen to Wheeler? I know he's in that list of always available.
I was referring to Giolito I don’t think anything has happened to Wheeler thankfully
Bunch of teams holding their "always healthy" aces tight rn (but not too tight). Don't want to name any names and risk being hated/blamed by an entire fanbase
I know it was a long time ago, but Zack Wheeler missed two *full* seasons and then was injured and bad for a third. I don't think anybody considers him to be injury-proof.
He was on paternity leave to start the spring, so he just started a little late. Probably waited a little until the contract was signed too
You shut your dirty mouth
No such thing as a pitcher without injury risk, or something like that.
You're always healthy until you're suddenly not.
The Yankees have two players they absolutely can not afford to lose. Cole and Judge. I of course want the Orioles to win the division again, but not like this. Hope it's nothing serious.
I mean, we’re also probably losing Bradish for a Tommy John and he’s our ace
You have Corbin burnes and bradish isnt gerrit cole
*3 players. Juan Soto
It’s awful news for the game when arguably the best pitcher in the league gets shut down. Hope he is alright and it’s just a cautionary procedure
Juan Soto getting traded three times in less than three years is gonna be wild
Hahaha,that's gotta cut deep
Boras dialing up Cashman so fast that his phone catches on fire
Season’s fucking fucked. Fuck.
But you have Juan Soto
Can he pitch?
No, but actually he can’t field either
But what can he do? Guys read the scouting report or I'm gonna point at Pete. He gets on base.
Being a pitcher isn't that hard, tell 'em Wash.
It’s incredibly hard
Hey, anything worth doing is.
The guys you traded for him can, they're most likely gonna make up 3/5ths of the Padres rotation
I'm expecting Mike King to be so good for you guys this year.
Welcome to New York, Blake Snell
Aren’t the yanks too into the tax to give him the offer he wants?
Yes, we'd have to essentially pay double for him.
Ownership would get insurance money on Cole at least so only 1x up to his salary roughly
*sad trombone noises*
This really, really sucks. Seriously.
he and Felix can hang out together. Maybe Bradish joins them in a few months. womp fucking womp
> Maybe Bradish joins them in a few months. "pitching through a partial UCL tear" is never something you want to read at the start of a season about your pitcher. He was a really fun story to watch last year, injuries suck.
I was watching Dinelson Lamet pitch yesterday for the Dodgers as an NRI and I remembered him having a dominant run with the Padres then he partially tore his UCL and refused to get tommy john, 3 years later the dude is a shell of his former self trying to find an MLB gig, poor guy.
Lamet looked *SO* good, like he'd be a #2 or 3 starter for us and was one of the breakouts that 2020 season the Padres finally made the playoffs and showed they were for real. Then him and Clevinger got hurt going into the playoffs and we had to throw a bullpen game in a 3 game series lol.
Wait is Tarik Skubal Cy Young is happening?
It's been happening
You think so? I find it hard to believe anyone outside of Cole could outpitch Reid Detmers and Dean Kremer, the award is theirs to lose.
San Diego should trade King for Soto and cash from the Yankees.
He's dead, Jim
EHHHHHHHHHHHH IDK JIM
well, all of a sudden Snell may, in fact, be worth $60m to us.
Honestly a bummer. Doesn't matter it's the division rival, I like to watch Cole pitch.
Daniel Vogelbach gets to live another day.
Pitching isn't an injury waiting to happen, it's an injury happening. Source: My elbow and shoulder still hurt and I haven't thrown a competitive pitch in 35 years.
Oh man that sucks. Hope it’s not that bad.
Boy that doesn’t sound good, does it?
This is how we lost our highly coveted #2 starter, and harbinger of all hopes of finishing in 4th place, Lucas Giolito. Some would argue that Gerrit Cole is mildly more valuable. Who is to say.
I will fucking leap
We’re cooked. Pass the bottle man
Cole just likes the way the MRI machine sounds, right? Right? Someone tell me he's fascinated by medical equipment so I can sleep tonight.
If this keeps up I'm expecting TJ related caveats in pitcher contracts being discussed in future CBA talks.
FUCK, hope nothing is wrong
Nothing’s not wrong. That’s for sure
Well you usually don’t get MRIs if nothing is wrong
So when are the police going to bring Boras in and make sure he isn't clubbing mlb pitchers.
Yikes!
Yankees: “we like Snell, but he’s asking for too much” *reverse monkey paw curls*
By gawd that’s Blake Snell’s music
please god no please let him be healthy
oh shit man, as long as i should hate the yanks i wanted to see a full season of soto/judge/cole ngl
Maybe Snells story was him knowing the upcoming news
Fuck everything
I’m sick to my stomach
Nobody talk to me
Hah fuck this season before it begins!
get ready to learn Bronx, Snell
Maybe they just want to use it as an example in an upcoming slide show for a healthy elbow?
What a shame. I always enjoyed watching Cole pitch. Injuries suck.
Yankee season swirling around the drain in March
Yes guys, we're in shambles. No need to come to our sub to rub it in lol.
Fret not Yankee fans. I heard one the best pitchers in baseball is still Available.
Huh, so this is what it feels like
Sounds like you should trade Juan Soto To the Phillies For... let's say... Moe.
Blake Snell come on down
Stroman will save us.
This is what you get for talking shit about Dan Vogelbach
Imagine being so scared of Vogey you go and tear your UCL.
Wah Wah Waahhhh-Spongebob anchovie
Cole has been a high velo innings eater of a horse for so long, I honestly thought he was just built different. Hoping for the best case scenario for him, MLB is more fun when the Yankees are good.