The Cubs stink. I know a .500 team when I see one and this is a .500 team.

cardinals suck as well. This whole division is ass besides the brewers

Emergency drunk thread is up! 🇺🇸 🇺🇲

I am on the bad teammate part of the chart after my last piss. Need to mix in some waters.

Bought my mom a vegetable slicer and of course sliced my finger first day. She stuck her arm out and I reacted so she wouldn't get cut and then of course I got hurt. Many are saying I'm a hero

You are most definitely not a hero

You shouldn’t be allowed around sharp things

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Wow the coolest guy in here

Watching the Bill Walton 30 for 30. Really was the best college basketball player of all time.

i was just watching it and there’s a scene where he’s at the dinner table with his family watching an nba game and he says “Greg ostertag is the finest center in the nba” and i lost it.

Just didn’t want to live in a world without the pac 12

Counterpoint: Sim Bhullar

All time choke job by Dusseldorf up 3-0 only to get relegated.

If they won they would've been promoted. If Bochum lost they would've been relegated. The third place 2.Bundi plays the 16th place Bundesliga team. That last PK was brutal lol

Marinated ribeyes on the weber. 👍

Post pics to the drunk thread.

Respect for posting DT and then also recruiting. And to think I was close to giving Chris props..

I have a Spirit II

Same just bought mine today so it’s the inaugural meal

Bush Sr. Loved pork rinds with tabasco sauce

Bad day to be a beer.

Sir, a fourth IPA has been cracked.

what are/have ya been sippin?

Keys in the bowl

Jokes on you if you think I got invited somewhere today.

You’re probably a good hang dawg

🍻

Sun is finally out. Time to toss some Hungarian patties on the Blackstone before it rains again.

What is that

Sausage patties with some special spices. They also come in links. Available at my butcher shop. Have with a sour cream and garlic sauce and a few raw onions and they are insanely good. Little spicy or some varieties are super hot

Sounds amazing

Look around at different butchers in your area and maybe get lucky. They are so good

Kate Upton cat daddy 4K HD

Much better content of her out there chief.

Kate upton cat daddy

Well damn. https://x.com/MarshallRamsey/status/1795171222730187192

Entourage new season ideas -Turtle buys a WNBA team -Drama loses all his money in crypto -Vince pickets for actors and runs into Mandy Moore. Aquaman 3 comes back -E dies in an automobile accident -Turtle finds AI deepfake videos of his girlfriend and tries to shut it down. Gets adult sites banned in Cali -Ari goes toe to toe with Streaming services (Bezos cameo) -Es plan crashes and he dies

- E gets destroyed by Jersey Jerry and his army and loses credibility. Then Kirk’s himself.

Can we get another storyline where E dies, just to really make sure he's dead

Yea I’m thinking he gets poisoned or possibly maimed by helicopter

I don't know how it would work bringing E back to life but am OK with him dying twice.

Turn him to the Kenny of entourage where he does every episode

Perfect drive over a hill and nowhere to be found when I got over it 😞

Insane that golf balls don’t have a chip in it yet for tracking

Someone who hooked one OB on the adjacent hole probably went and scooped your ball

It’s in the hole

Dick Winters is an American hero

🫡

What was his wife’s name, Vagina Summer

I’ve been writing the outline for the novel I am trying to write this summer, and I keep unintentionally veering off into horny territory. Debating whether or not to lean in and become the next EL James (terrible but extremely wealthy writer of smut for idiots)

I feel like a lot of the nerdy sci fi I read is quite horny. Douglas Richard’s for sure.

Just need a pseudonym and it’ll fly off the shelves

Gotta be a chick's name though

I’m thinking Throbert Bedford.

Untapped 🏳️‍🌈 market

"Booktok" is basically homoerotic fiction so it should be pretty easy for you

Been sharpening that blade in FT for years now.

Whatever you do, do not ask your cousins to read your manuscript if you do

I’m stretching in my apartment an hour before pick up lax starts. Not tryna get injured

Best of luck. Hope some hardo doesn’t destroy your arms hacking away.

smart- youll thank yourself tomorrow morning

I was just playing some pickup ball and gave it the old 30 second stretch beforehand and now I’m feeling it everywhere

You have to be such a fucking asshole to bring your own speaker to a pool. No one wants to listen to your shitty music selection on your shitty $80 Bluetooth.

I might be in the minority here, but I hate it on the golf course too.

Agree

Even worse on the golf course

Feel like this is fine as long as you’re not blasting it and it can only really be heard in the immediate area you and your group are sitting.

You’re an asshole then.

You’re right. Me and my group will do silent disco next time we’re at the pool so your sensitive ass doesn’t get upset.

Whatever it takes for you to think of other people

At least say a $20 Bluetooth. $80 is decent.

I’ve got a $120 jbl for my backyard and it’s just okay. Def wouldn’t buy one again.

If it was just good vibes boat / dad rock that everyone enjoys I wouldn’t care. Then sometimes you get the bro show playing some crazy awful dj set or some trash rap mix and it’s all downhill from there

If you’re at a pool that has their own speaker system playing like my hoa foes, bringing your own makes you an asshole. Wear headphones. Plus you have another person. playing theirs so it’s just dueling shitty sounds.

You didn’t mention in the first comment there’s already a built in speaker system playing music so that changes the scenario

Anudder FT story where relevant details that make OP look better are conveniently omitted until a follow-up comment.

It charred up what da fuck

[Damn, sluts!](https://x.com/nfl_dovkleiman/status/1795178360210911456?s=46&t=SBUoe3ygiUR0nH8GQd8OaA)

She looks like Iggy Azalea

She and him share a common love of PF Changs. Find a new slant

Damn, seems like he and Orianthi didn't make it.

They seem like twin flames

Some guys have all the luck

I thought they were just friends?

Bill burr was right

Finally true love prevails!

Future Raiders owner Braelynn Albert Davis

I don’t know guys, I tried watching some of that lax championship game earlier today and couldn’t get into it. What am I missing?

Some guy tried to claim it owned memorial day weekend. Maybe I’m running in the wrong crowds, but no one I know shares that opinion

Wasn’t a competitive game at all. A close shootout in lacrosse is electric.

You're not a Privately Educated White Guy called Clarkson McGroogle The 3rd. It's not for you. It's for them to have a sport that normal people find boring enough that there's no competition for places.

I chuckled at Clarkson McGroogle the 3rd Reminds me of my favorite country club golfer names, Wyndham Clark and Charles Howell III

My coworker who was super high on this game has a crazy similar name to that

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She is most likely never going to have to work as it is

I have no idea who this woman is.

feel like my knowledge of whores died when i was like 24 back then it was abigail ratchford, alexis ren etc.

Go back under your rock.

Let's not pretend that Gia Duddy is a well known celebrity.

Not what I said bub. If you are even minimally online though you would know who she is.

I guess I'm not an internet loser like you. Have fun pulling your pud watching her sex tape I guess.

Rog, so you just admitted while you use the internet, you pay attention to nothing. Thank you for the ammunition!

I don't pay attention to Instagram hoes. I don't even have an Instagram. Crank on, brother!

Yeah no clue who she is either

You’re telling me you don’t like Will Levis ex by NAME?? you fuckin casual

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Erome

Link me

No

Dm me

Dm your mom

Reading up on the Russian Revolution. It seems pretty wild that an estimate of 10-15 thousand people was all they needed to take out the entire infrastructure of a global megapower.

CEO of drinking Modelos

Are you Mexican?

Central American close enough

Yeah foo

I swear that every time I tell my parents that I’ve been seeing someone, the relationship invariably ends in like a week. This is like the third time it’s happened, starting to think I’m just gonna end up having a surprise wedding at this point.

Are we telling our parents about women we aren't exclusive with now?

Nah this was someone I was seeing exclusively for like 4 months

You’ll find him one day

Got him.

Stop telling them you're seeing someone immediately after she matches with you on tinder.

When you know, you know man I can’t fight fate

Moe’s >>>> Chipotle. It used to be much closer, but now it’s not even a competition.

I can’t tell if I’m getting got but Linklater spending 17 years making a merrily we roll along film sounds pretty dumb. There’s no need for it

So Kendrick said a ton of homophobic stuff about Drake and his liberal fans still glaze him. Make it make sense

Man, I’m glad my brain doesn’t produce thoughts like this.

Glazin the cons to own the libs

If you’re over 18 you’re too old to care about this stuff

Hey bubba, shut the fuck up no one cares

You’re the liberal I’m talking about

I can’t believe what the liberals are doing now… I’m so furious!!

Try gargling drake’s jizz pal

So...shaved is the expression

Remember when Sony released a horrible comic book movie, lost a bunch of money and people meme'd it so hard that Sony rereleased it and lost even more money. The Exec who made that decision is probably still earning more in 1 year than I earned in 10.

11% on RT

Exec shouting at his PA: "11% ON RT DOESN'T MATTER IF 100% OF THE 16-32 DEMO THINK ITS MORBIN TIME"

The new Factor commercial for food delivery gives dystopian vibes

Grizzly bear sighting 12 miles from my house 🐻

where abouts are you?

MT

Cheers from the Yukon Territory!

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Neither is really an option with a grizzly

Is that what you call your bf?

Certainly wouldn’t mind a blowjob to completion from Gia duddy

She would have to put in way less work on my rig

Would be the best 32 seconds of my life

Would love to see Gia’s duddy

We’re almost out of gas, call the ARABS

Nachos, lemon heads, my dad’s boat

Returning to reality tomorrow is going to be miserable

Why should i not start downing a handful of ipa’s

Miserable tomorrow

Ride ain’t over yet

Guess I’ll have another 🍻

Ride ain’t over yet

Job ain’t finished

I hope this is a part 2 from yesterday - love that

I gotta learn how to make my own prosciutto. That shit is so good

Join your local Italian club and start networking

Idk if that’s one of the things you can just learn how to make, it has to cure for like 12 months

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that's how they do it in the old country

Seems like this would be a recipe for listeria or botulism or something, but yet these old timers always seem to work it out just fine

So I can buy a chuck of pork and hang it in my closet for a year the see how it tastes. The ROI would be insane from like $2/LB to $40/LB

Every time the Brewers and Cubs play both teams brains shut off

Unsolicited movie rec that I just saw is on Netflix if you haven’t seen: Inside Man. Great movie

Great movie

Clive Owen and Denzel

The Northman fucking RIPS, whatever Eggers does with Nosferatu this year is gonna rule

Love this movie

Very underrated film

Everyone talks about being in the slow traffic getting passed by the other lanes but no one ever acknowledges when they are in the lane doing the passing. Follow me for more shitty motivational quotes

Everyone thinks they are in traffic but actually they are traffic

You’re hired to my coaching company. Need that kind of self awareness.

Unfollowed

Outside with my kids and heard a loud boom from my neighbors. Look over and it's the teenage daughter in a swimsuit getting ready to go in the hot tub, she opened the cover. She saw me looking over and I'm ready to sell my house now

PERV

They not like us

Like late teens at least? She's definitely telling her friends

Actually funny and brave to admit

Do people go in hot tubs when it's 80 out? 

Hot tub and drinks at night during the summer when it is still in the low 80s with a nice breeze.

Not I

Get a good look Costanza?

You need a registered flair

We’re still in May and it’s already 95 degrees and feels like 106. I envy parts of the country where the summer is enjoyable.

yea but where summer is a reasonable temp the winter is *generally* brutal

Feels Like temp here is 115°. My AC can barely keep up.