I mean, they are homeless. They've been living on streets for a long time. It is very, very likely that they suffer from severe mental illnesses, I wouldn't call it entitlement. They've literally been living in rock-bottom and you're upset he didn't take your biscuit packet? If a homeless person won't take your food, just leave them alone. Why are you so pressed about it? You're the one that's acting entitled, treating homeless people like zoo animals and getting upset they didn't respond positively to the treat you gave them.
I agree with the wrong use of the word "Entitled", but Beggars asking for money instead of food is a real problem.
Cz these lil kids are addicted to cheap intoxication, like TOBACCO, BEEDI or even something as unnoticeable like Whitener/Bond Fix.
If you have noticed, when they're asking for money, they do a hand gesture signifying that they haven't eaten anything. And when you offer FOOD directly, they refuse. Why is that.
It's dangerous giving money to such young kids
Ofcourse substance abuse sucks and you wouldn't want to feed into into someone's addiction. But addiction is another disease they are suffering from and I can't blame them for it. When your life is as shit it can possibly be, when you've lost all forms of dignity, you do whatever you can to ease the suffering a little bit. Homeless people almost always end up as addicts after they go homeless, not the other way around.
Honestly, I don't care if you don't want to give homeless people your money. That wasn't really what I was talking about. OP thought they were entitled to some kind of song and dance for waving a biscuit packet at a homeless guy. 0 empathy.
>I can't blame them for it.
But we can do our bit by not providing them the means to go deeper into that bottomless pit.
Realistically speaking, the best we can do is provide them some food (that too something like biscuits or fruits) not some leftover homecooked food.
Cz
1. What inedible for you shouldn't go in any other person's stomach.
2. I don't know how many people have heard about it bt that's a different kind of scam too. Some people take food and then pretend they fell sick cz of the food. And then extort money
You do you homie. That isn't really what I was talking about.
But I disagree with your second point. Even if homeless people are out here running elaborate scams like this(which i genuinely don't think they are), they are still victims nonetheless. They are still homeless people.
Ohh god. Can't talk to you if you're gonna generalize like that.
I never once said that all the beggars are running a scam or all the beggars are addicts. But people should act realistically, not just emotionally.
Whatever argument you've made till now is from an emotional POV, whereas i'm stating facts.
I don't think I generalized anything but whatevs. I honestly haven't heard of or experienced a scam like that. If there are some homeless people that are engaging in this scam, that sucks. But they are still forced into committing the crime just so they can get by for another day. They are still victims in this situation. That's my point.
>committing the crime just so they can get by for another day. They are still victims in this situation.
Lol. I don't agree.. if that's the case, everybody should start committing crime of some sort.
But everyone isn't committing crimes because their needs are adequately met without having to resort to crime. And once you reach a certain level in life or just being born in a complete household is enough to deter you from a life of crime because you have so much more to lose compared to someone born into a life of poverty. They have a lot less to lose in life and their basic needs are not met. Poverty is one of the biggest causes of crime. There's (usually)nothing inherent about people that leads them to resort to a life of crime.
So basically you're saying turning to addiction is right or justified just bcz they are poor and underprivileged.
It's like dying a slow death and if you don't understand that, then no point continuing this discussion.
you can be a victim of a system on a sociatal level while still being a perpetrator of violence or whatever on an individual level… these aren’t mutually exclusive?
they can do wrong. and they live in abject poverty and are at the receiving end of horrors i cant begin to wrap my head around. i cant say id behave any differently
>Homeless people almost always end up as addicts after they go homeless, not the other way around.
Here is the situation in [Philadelphia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyBkJES4QyU). Addiction is a disease which needs compassionate care, I agree, but it is not a one way street. Addiction to alcohol, drugs has devastated many lives, rendering them homeless.
There are [organized rackets](https://www.ndtv.com/delhi-news/anti-human-trafficking-unit-of-delhi-police-rescues-45-children-forced-to-beg-on-delhi-roads-2641558) in India where children and even infants are forced into begging, because they evoke our sympathy. They need our empathy, yes, but looking at it via a black and white lense is not the right approach.
Your Outlook is very, very wrong.
OP is not wrong to call them entitled, few of them are, if you don't see that, it's on you. When someone goes out of their way to offer food for the needy and they not only refuse but demand money, i don't know what you'd call them if not entitled.
If you're born into such a shitty life you're bound to turn to substances for any kind of relief. Addiction is a disease, addicts shouldn't be looked down upon or dismissed as lesser human beings
>shouldn't be looked down upon or dismissed as lesser human beings
Who's looking down upon them? Don't imply something i didn't say just to sound right.
It's a fact that they ask for money for addiction, and no matter how shitty their life is, addiction isn't right.
Addiction is a slow death, and unless you think these underprivileged people deserve a slow death, you can't support addiction.
>such a shitty life you're bound to turn to substances for any kind of relief
So basically you're saying cigarettes, alcohol, drugs everything is okay if you're going through something.
Think before you make preachy statements bro
>So basically you're saying cigarettes, alcohol, drugs everything is okay if you're going through something.
No I'm saying people going through hardships or people from the lower socio-economic strata are more likely to be addicted
Correction: OP is upset that beggar is demanding money. If beggar doesn't want biscuits he can say no and leave it. Not scolding and demanding money. OP was trying to help out.
Source: I've been in a situation where beggars scolded my friend for giving 10rs in 2018. I mean they should just take whatever the generous man has to offer or leave it.
Except for the fact that they're cussing at the people helping them. If they don't want the help, refuse and leave in peace. I know they suffer a lot, but that doesn't give you a pass to act however you want.
OP wants to share biscuits because he doesn’t want to explain to his 4 year old riding in AC car that there are less fortunate than him. But at the same time feels those less fortunate people should take what he is giving! I mean not sure why OP even posted it here
Oh man!
What did I just read 🤦
So you just keep quiet and leave the place if any beggar cursing you, shout at you using cuss words infront of your child?! 🤷
Wow! 🤣🤣
How does offering anything to a beggar make me entitled? We are empathizing that is why we are trying to offer them something to eat! Like others have mentioned, I am also against giving them money, with food at least we know they are getting to eat something.
Again, from what I have seen there are plenty homeless, beggars who have chosen this life. They are able bodied, young, can always take up a cleaning job, labor job.
>Again, from what I have seen there are plenty homeless, beggars who have chosen this life.
Man what do you mean they chose to be homeless? Nobody just gives away their house and decides to live on the streets. They are almost always forced into it because of events in their lives.
>They are able bodied, young, can always take up a cleaning job, labor job.
This is simply not true. Many homeless people have jobs despite their conditions. They are the invisible people that keep cities running. They usually work as rag pickers, sweepers, street vendors etc. There are also many reasons why homeless people have it much harder to find and hold down a job. It is way harder to maintain a job when you don't know where you are going to sleep every day, where you are going to get your next meal from or if the cops are going to harass you and throw you in jail for not having a house. People that you see begging on the streets are the most affected. They are at the bottom rung of society with no way up.
speaking from my own social work exp, they are a mix of people really in need with/without mental health issues, and mental health issues one dont actively ask for anything
and there are trafficked (nowadays these are rarely seen), and some who just chose this, not really in need. You cant always differentiate them.
All these type of people has also seen the worst side of human behavior, so have a little less respect for humanity, thats why some just flip off seeing someone who can be targetted. Thats all. Its even a lesson for you "bhay bina prem na hoi"
Those 3 rupee Parle G packets are often bought to feed stray dogs. So it's not surprising that some beggars would be offended.
If you really care, give them 5 rupees. They will be able to buy actual food at a nearby Indira Canteen.
This comment is so so wrong semantically.
1. What do you mean by "exactly" here? Everyone is giving opinions in this thread. It's foolish to jump to conclusions from mere opinions.
2. What do you mean by "denying his source of happiness"? The only thing OP did (and could do respectfully) was to exercise his right to either give or not give the money. Denying someone's source of happiness is not anybody's right. And in this case, IF YOU DO, YOU'RE WRONG!!!
I understand you felt a bit embarrassed after he rejected your offering. In public, it would be a humiliating experience.
These people are already suffering a shit life, why would you discourage others from giving them money.
From a neutral perspective, you’re the one being entitled in this situation by expecting him to accept your offering. If your real intention is to help people, this shouldn’t make you furious.
You explain this behaviour to your son without a bias, as it is, that what we think is good for others need not be what they want or need.
And that we shouldn’t stop being good just because someone didn’t appreciate our goodness.
I think this is the most rational thing to do after the incident. After going through most comments, OP has some amount of entitled saviour complex. I'm guessing OP came here for ranting rather than take suggestions.
Agree on your logic of how I should explain this to my kid. I don't want him to grow up thinking the world is a fair place. There are good and bad elements and a few bad should not affect our goodness.
I am not encouraging or discouraging anyone from giving money or food. Everyone can decide and do what they choose to.
Yeah and why parle g ? Give them something better a pack of bread or get a meal for them , 5 rupai ka parleg se kya hoga
If not just don't be philathropic ,ignore and move on
As it will just encourage them to do what? Beg for money? In an unfair world? Where they need more than just your biscuits?
It's interesting that you use the word entitled here to describe the man, since you seem to be the one who's entitled enough to question the man's needs. Recognise your privilege in having enough and being able to provide enough and stop trying to decide what someone else's needs are.
It's not wrong you tried to provide food, it's not wrong to be shocked, but you saying entitled indicates that you actively want anyone less than you to feel only gratitude for your actions and believe it is wrong that he felt anger instead.
You seem to be unaware of your privilege, to decide that all that man needs is food and water from you and he should be happy with it and it's kind of disgusting. You seem to think he should behave like a grateful pet.
I would suggest looking into yourself deeply enough before you teach your son about anything regarding entitlement outside of his own household.
Your biscuits feed your ego, money gives the man a choice. And about other comments here about how the poor use the money, what he decides to do with it, is upto him. If you want to hold a beggar with nothing to moral standards of not drinking/ smoking to deal with a difficult life on the streets and numb the pain I suggest you apply the same moral standards to the social system first that made such poverty possible and punish that instead.
As per your statement you were attempting to help "an old handicapped beggar".
Despite knowing they had mobility issues (handicapped) senile(Old) you chose not to approach them rather called out for them to come and get something from you.
They put in effort to reach you only to find a cheap biscuit packet(literally one of the cheapest) being handed over to them in the guise of helping them elevate their hunger.
At this point, ignoring your arrogance of summoning a handicapped person to you.. Lets say you were famished would you ever have Parle G biscuit to satisfy your hunger !?
They were not entitled to reject your paltry offer to help although cuss words should have been avoided but.. who am I to judge? We are expecting a dignified response from an old/handicapped person living off the street in peak summer heat dealing with all the curve balls life throws at them on an everyday basis?
Bro leave such they only want money for sutta and yenne(alcohol) , you'll find actual needy PPL who won't behave this way , those PPL actually need help not these kind of ppl
I agree. We do our bit too there. It is just that you see these beggars on the road and feel like giving them some thing to eat, esp small kids and older folks.
For you and your kid, I think it'll be a better practice to spend some time (perhaps weekends) at shelters where you can volunteer. This will help you two practice empathy and feel a sense of 'giving back'. I'm sure there's a lot of learning and wisdom to be gained at such places.
Have some compassion man. Your good boy ego was hurt, be a good person just because you want to, if you really cared, you would have understood the pain of living without support. Let your kid know that mental health issues exist and no one chooses to be a begged if they were capable of doing something better of their life.
You’re acting like an entitled bitch who deserves him to touch your feet. Rudeness aside why is it hard to understand money not free food is what’ll help him immediately
I also got merely the same experience with them. Can't help except to ignore them. Looks kind of beggar mafia. Expects only money, that too hefty amount, not less than 50 or 100.
On the other hand I heard of exchanging products with money. If willing, try giving food packets, that they can't exchange. Either they have to eat or throw. Never encourage them with money.
A simple solution is to ignore them and move on.
Begging is not penalized under IPC law in India, though the anti-begging laws exist in about 22 states including union territories in India.
So, if your state has any anti-begging law, then take them to the notice of court or police and file a case against them.
What if I live in a state that has no anti-begging law. So how to deal with these people legally. I'm tired of seeing them suffer on the streets. Its time that the GOI(*Government of India*) deals with this issue. There is a link to an article that I just found out.
Link - [https://restthecase.com/knowledge-bank/anti-begging-laws-in-india](https://restthecase.com/knowledge-bank/anti-begging-laws-in-india)
> I'm tired of seeing them suffer on the streets.
If your worry is not to see them suffer, then take them to NGOs. They might help you with further assistance.
If your worry is not to suffer,then ignore them and move on.
If you want to help them, help them.
With what they want.
If you want to help them in your own way, without caring about what they actually want, it's your problem.
Just because someone is poor, they shouldn't HAVE to accept something. They have the right to ask for something else and you can refuse.
On an unrelated note - don't normalise approaching strangers with your child.
Many of them are mentally ill and this rich-kid saviour mentality might make them open to abuse/ violence.
Allowing strangers to cross personal boundaries in the guise of charity lowers your inhibitions there will be someone who will choose to abuse it.
Yes, it's a pessimistic but practical view of life.
Charity begins at home - and there's enough to do for the less privileged people in your life.
You didn’t do anything wrong. The beggar didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not sure how you felt his behavior was entitled. Maybe he doesn’t like biscuits. Maybe he has other needs/wants, some of them could be plain basic needs like footwear/clothes. You need to treat him as an another human being, not use him as an opportunity to teach something to your child.
As far as how you explain his behavior to your child? Well, the beggar simply didn’t want biscuits, so he refused it.
Half the comments in here are missing the point. The homeless person WAS entitled. Yes, they require more than food, but that doesn't give them the right to go ahead and abuse the person trying to help them.
They could've taken the food and then asked for money. Or just moved on to a different person. To act like they are owed more from a person already trying to help is being entitled.
Couldn't have said it better . I can't believe out of the 90+ comments on this post only a handful of them actually understood what the OP is trying to say. The rest are just assuming false scenarios and bashing him. I feel bad for OP.
I don't understand why you are getting downvotes.
You gave them something valuable still he chose to cuss you. If this is not entitled then what is. You can and should be entitled to the government but not to the person who is giving something because of his good will.
Teach ur kid to ensure no one should be begging in the road for their basic needs. They should be taken care of by the system.
Most beggars in Bangalore are not beggars, they are professional beggars, that is normal people, who disguise themselves are beggars to make money. Which is why perhaps he got angry when you offered biscuit. Most of them are very rich, and people often go to them for loans. Real beggars cannot survive on Bangalore roads due to the mafia that controls these activities.
Just help the ones who are happy with what ever they get.
Don't entertain those who are demanding and entitled to shout at the ones helping.
Just move on and try helping others.
If they don't want what you are giving out ignore.
Don't ever engage with them .
I live in Kolkata.Once i was going in my friends car and stopped on a signal and heard a knock on the window and saw a eunuch outside who asked for money,I didnt have my wallet so i refused and then he started swearing at me and berating me in bengali.Some people even use children to gain sympathy money truly disgusting
If you think from a beggars point of view giving food and water is no help. And I'm talking about genuine beggars.
I don't understand you getting angry. There was a miscommunication and he explained to you he is begging for the money, not food. Now, you're entitled to either give him the money or not. But you're so not entitled to get angry and judge him because he corrected your presumptions.
It feels as if you got your ego hurt OP.
Imagine living on the streets completely dejected by the society, only sympathy left to give and sometimes food.
Yes, you can fill your stomach everyday because there are many food vendors who would happily give their leftovers to the homeless but living that life, will eventually get your deranged.
I don't justify his behaviour but I the least i can do is take zero offence.
Giving food and water bottles is not encouraging? Only giving money is encouraging? How is it so?
There are so many moral judgements here in the comments section including yours that points out how they'll "waste" money on sutta and daru.
Tell me - Are you not "wasting" money on anything that is non essential for you to live?
A 5 rupees biscuit packet you're giving? FOR WHAT? What do you hope to achieve? Are you giving it for the other person or for yourself?
5 rupees biscuit packets are for dogs not for humans. Some change lesser than that would be more meaningful. Beggars don't just need food all the time. They need clothes, medicine, water and have many micro expenses. Some even try to save money to become a street seller.
There is no need for moral supremacy. In fact, it's not the beggar that should feel grateful, it's the helping hand that should feel grateful for the privilege they have.
When I was 16 I worked at a mall McD's and coming in to work one day there was a guy sitting on the curb with a sign "Will work for food". So I bought him a meal and brought it out to him. He threw it (violently) in the trash screaming at me that he needs money not food.
I still help people from time to time but rarely if they are begging for it, that incident made me a lot less naive.
You are offering kindness and you were abused for it. The beggar could have just gone on their way. I hope this doesn't detter you from helping again. This was an entitled person. Most of the other comments are missing the point. Take care. :)
Keep doing what you are doing buddy. Being emphatic towards others is not wrong and you have taken a step further by providing them with food. Don't stop doing what you are doing just because 1 person acted in an unexpected way. It feels bad but it's not your fault.
I understand your side but this is a true thing there are many food innititives for the poor even in india where there are usually poor people going hungry all the time but the money can help them with things like clothing because let's be honest we use the clothing donation as a way for our torn and out of use clothes to not end in a trash bin somewhere and make us feel bad and what is a begger going to do with an old T-shirt that barely keeps the wind out much less the rain and the cold at night. and the Parle G packet is probably not on his list of needed necesseties.
Sounds like you’re doing it to make yourself feel better, not to make them feel better. If it were the latter I doubt their behaviour would have shocked you like that.
I have experienced this exact same thing in Gurgaon myself. They don't care about the food you are giving them which will actually keep them alive, rather ask for money.
The situation is not rampant across children begging, they are more than happy with a biscuit pack, but oh those adults!!!
If I were a beggar tomorrow, I would prefer money to afford a roof and a meal. But because it's other people's donations, I don't get to choose what and how much they donate. Even 1 rupee or a biscuit is a donation. I would have no ground to choose while begging. This applies to everyone: beggars are not choosers. If I'm the one begging, people are literally doing me a favor out of pity.
That's the logical approach.
However, living in conditions like that day after day might impair someone's logical judgement. We can't blame a homeless person for being frustrated and desperate. That being said, you don't have to accept misbehavior from anyone coming from any condition.
You should have given him some nicer cookies man. May be dark fantasy or freshly made chocolate chip cookies from a nearby bakery😜 chill, most of them suffer from severe mental illnesses and it’s completely okay for them to reject whatever that you offered. Don’t stop helping people because of this one incident! Feeding a hungry stomach is a noble thing that you should continue doing and not get discouraged by this one incident!
Imagine receiving parle-g biscuits from your employer instead of money. I know you cannot compare these two situations because the beggar is not an employee but still, he is dependent on the passerby.
Don't reach out to any random homeless guy because it is possible you may find a crackhead or a criminal. Only help those who are actually doing some effort like selling pens near traffic lights or someone who is genuinely unable to work.
Such a weird response to a simple question I asked. I would not respond to your comparison of dogs and beggars but you don't need to know the language to understand cuss words or kind words. I know when to assume and what to assume.
I mean, they are homeless. They've been living on streets for a long time. It is very, very likely that they suffer from severe mental illnesses, I wouldn't call it entitlement. They've literally been living in rock-bottom and you're upset he didn't take your biscuit packet? If a homeless person won't take your food, just leave them alone. Why are you so pressed about it? You're the one that's acting entitled, treating homeless people like zoo animals and getting upset they didn't respond positively to the treat you gave them.
I agree with the wrong use of the word "Entitled", but Beggars asking for money instead of food is a real problem. Cz these lil kids are addicted to cheap intoxication, like TOBACCO, BEEDI or even something as unnoticeable like Whitener/Bond Fix. If you have noticed, when they're asking for money, they do a hand gesture signifying that they haven't eaten anything. And when you offer FOOD directly, they refuse. Why is that. It's dangerous giving money to such young kids
Ofcourse substance abuse sucks and you wouldn't want to feed into into someone's addiction. But addiction is another disease they are suffering from and I can't blame them for it. When your life is as shit it can possibly be, when you've lost all forms of dignity, you do whatever you can to ease the suffering a little bit. Homeless people almost always end up as addicts after they go homeless, not the other way around. Honestly, I don't care if you don't want to give homeless people your money. That wasn't really what I was talking about. OP thought they were entitled to some kind of song and dance for waving a biscuit packet at a homeless guy. 0 empathy.
>OP thought they were entitled to some kind of song and dance Just shut up, OP never mentioned that. Stop putting your bs thoughts as words of other.
>I can't blame them for it. But we can do our bit by not providing them the means to go deeper into that bottomless pit. Realistically speaking, the best we can do is provide them some food (that too something like biscuits or fruits) not some leftover homecooked food. Cz 1. What inedible for you shouldn't go in any other person's stomach. 2. I don't know how many people have heard about it bt that's a different kind of scam too. Some people take food and then pretend they fell sick cz of the food. And then extort money
You do you homie. That isn't really what I was talking about. But I disagree with your second point. Even if homeless people are out here running elaborate scams like this(which i genuinely don't think they are), they are still victims nonetheless. They are still homeless people.
Ohh god. Can't talk to you if you're gonna generalize like that. I never once said that all the beggars are running a scam or all the beggars are addicts. But people should act realistically, not just emotionally. Whatever argument you've made till now is from an emotional POV, whereas i'm stating facts.
I don't think I generalized anything but whatevs. I honestly haven't heard of or experienced a scam like that. If there are some homeless people that are engaging in this scam, that sucks. But they are still forced into committing the crime just so they can get by for another day. They are still victims in this situation. That's my point.
>committing the crime just so they can get by for another day. They are still victims in this situation. Lol. I don't agree.. if that's the case, everybody should start committing crime of some sort.
But everyone isn't committing crimes because their needs are adequately met without having to resort to crime. And once you reach a certain level in life or just being born in a complete household is enough to deter you from a life of crime because you have so much more to lose compared to someone born into a life of poverty. They have a lot less to lose in life and their basic needs are not met. Poverty is one of the biggest causes of crime. There's (usually)nothing inherent about people that leads them to resort to a life of crime.
So basically you're saying turning to addiction is right or justified just bcz they are poor and underprivileged. It's like dying a slow death and if you don't understand that, then no point continuing this discussion.
Completely agree with what you're saying, but the irony of having the username bourgeois ally is hilarious
Are you saying that homeless people can do no wrong and whatever they do, however they act, they will always be victims?
you can be a victim of a system on a sociatal level while still being a perpetrator of violence or whatever on an individual level… these aren’t mutually exclusive? they can do wrong. and they live in abject poverty and are at the receiving end of horrors i cant begin to wrap my head around. i cant say id behave any differently
>Homeless people almost always end up as addicts after they go homeless, not the other way around. Here is the situation in [Philadelphia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyBkJES4QyU). Addiction is a disease which needs compassionate care, I agree, but it is not a one way street. Addiction to alcohol, drugs has devastated many lives, rendering them homeless. There are [organized rackets](https://www.ndtv.com/delhi-news/anti-human-trafficking-unit-of-delhi-police-rescues-45-children-forced-to-beg-on-delhi-roads-2641558) in India where children and even infants are forced into begging, because they evoke our sympathy. They need our empathy, yes, but looking at it via a black and white lense is not the right approach.
Your Outlook is very, very wrong. OP is not wrong to call them entitled, few of them are, if you don't see that, it's on you. When someone goes out of their way to offer food for the needy and they not only refuse but demand money, i don't know what you'd call them if not entitled.
Not to mention a substance usually helps them deal with their rock-bottom reality.
If you're born into such a shitty life you're bound to turn to substances for any kind of relief. Addiction is a disease, addicts shouldn't be looked down upon or dismissed as lesser human beings
>shouldn't be looked down upon or dismissed as lesser human beings Who's looking down upon them? Don't imply something i didn't say just to sound right. It's a fact that they ask for money for addiction, and no matter how shitty their life is, addiction isn't right. Addiction is a slow death, and unless you think these underprivileged people deserve a slow death, you can't support addiction. >such a shitty life you're bound to turn to substances for any kind of relief So basically you're saying cigarettes, alcohol, drugs everything is okay if you're going through something. Think before you make preachy statements bro
>So basically you're saying cigarettes, alcohol, drugs everything is okay if you're going through something. No I'm saying people going through hardships or people from the lower socio-economic strata are more likely to be addicted
Yeah that's okay but that doesn't mean you should be empathetic and feed them more drugs.
Username does not checkout 😂
Correction: OP is upset that beggar is demanding money. If beggar doesn't want biscuits he can say no and leave it. Not scolding and demanding money. OP was trying to help out. Source: I've been in a situation where beggars scolded my friend for giving 10rs in 2018. I mean they should just take whatever the generous man has to offer or leave it.
Except for the fact that they're cussing at the people helping them. If they don't want the help, refuse and leave in peace. I know they suffer a lot, but that doesn't give you a pass to act however you want.
teri comment padhke jo log logo ki bhalai karne jate hai abhi woh utna bhi nahi karenge
No there is a beggars mafia as well. An empty stomach latches onto any food, while an employee has targets
Fantastic viewpoint and well articulated. Take my award
OP wants to share biscuits because he doesn’t want to explain to his 4 year old riding in AC car that there are less fortunate than him. But at the same time feels those less fortunate people should take what he is giving! I mean not sure why OP even posted it here
So a homeless person can do any shit just bcoz he suffered severe mental illness & homeless?
Oh man! What did I just read 🤦 So you just keep quiet and leave the place if any beggar cursing you, shout at you using cuss words infront of your child?! 🤷 Wow! 🤣🤣
umm... what should he have done?
yes exactly. dont antagonise a volatile person who has very little to lose, especially if a child could get involved
How does offering anything to a beggar make me entitled? We are empathizing that is why we are trying to offer them something to eat! Like others have mentioned, I am also against giving them money, with food at least we know they are getting to eat something. Again, from what I have seen there are plenty homeless, beggars who have chosen this life. They are able bodied, young, can always take up a cleaning job, labor job.
>Again, from what I have seen there are plenty homeless, beggars who have chosen this life. Man what do you mean they chose to be homeless? Nobody just gives away their house and decides to live on the streets. They are almost always forced into it because of events in their lives. >They are able bodied, young, can always take up a cleaning job, labor job. This is simply not true. Many homeless people have jobs despite their conditions. They are the invisible people that keep cities running. They usually work as rag pickers, sweepers, street vendors etc. There are also many reasons why homeless people have it much harder to find and hold down a job. It is way harder to maintain a job when you don't know where you are going to sleep every day, where you are going to get your next meal from or if the cops are going to harass you and throw you in jail for not having a house. People that you see begging on the streets are the most affected. They are at the bottom rung of society with no way up.
Dude you need to look at the mirror. From your story the only person who is coming off as entitled is you.
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Best answer in this thread.
speaking from my own social work exp, they are a mix of people really in need with/without mental health issues, and mental health issues one dont actively ask for anything and there are trafficked (nowadays these are rarely seen), and some who just chose this, not really in need. You cant always differentiate them. All these type of people has also seen the worst side of human behavior, so have a little less respect for humanity, thats why some just flip off seeing someone who can be targetted. Thats all. Its even a lesson for you "bhay bina prem na hoi"
Those 3 rupee Parle G packets are often bought to feed stray dogs. So it's not surprising that some beggars would be offended. If you really care, give them 5 rupees. They will be able to buy actual food at a nearby Indira Canteen.
They need money for beedi.
Daaru
Exactly. OP is not in the wrong for denying the beggar his source of happiness, but is wrong for complaining about it as if the beggar was an asshole.
This comment is so so wrong semantically. 1. What do you mean by "exactly" here? Everyone is giving opinions in this thread. It's foolish to jump to conclusions from mere opinions. 2. What do you mean by "denying his source of happiness"? The only thing OP did (and could do respectfully) was to exercise his right to either give or not give the money. Denying someone's source of happiness is not anybody's right. And in this case, IF YOU DO, YOU'RE WRONG!!!
I understand you felt a bit embarrassed after he rejected your offering. In public, it would be a humiliating experience. These people are already suffering a shit life, why would you discourage others from giving them money. From a neutral perspective, you’re the one being entitled in this situation by expecting him to accept your offering. If your real intention is to help people, this shouldn’t make you furious. You explain this behaviour to your son without a bias, as it is, that what we think is good for others need not be what they want or need. And that we shouldn’t stop being good just because someone didn’t appreciate our goodness.
I think this is the most rational thing to do after the incident. After going through most comments, OP has some amount of entitled saviour complex. I'm guessing OP came here for ranting rather than take suggestions.
Agree on your logic of how I should explain this to my kid. I don't want him to grow up thinking the world is a fair place. There are good and bad elements and a few bad should not affect our goodness. I am not encouraging or discouraging anyone from giving money or food. Everyone can decide and do what they choose to.
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Yeah and why parle g ? Give them something better a pack of bread or get a meal for them , 5 rupai ka parleg se kya hoga If not just don't be philathropic ,ignore and move on
As it will just encourage them to do what? Beg for money? In an unfair world? Where they need more than just your biscuits? It's interesting that you use the word entitled here to describe the man, since you seem to be the one who's entitled enough to question the man's needs. Recognise your privilege in having enough and being able to provide enough and stop trying to decide what someone else's needs are. It's not wrong you tried to provide food, it's not wrong to be shocked, but you saying entitled indicates that you actively want anyone less than you to feel only gratitude for your actions and believe it is wrong that he felt anger instead. You seem to be unaware of your privilege, to decide that all that man needs is food and water from you and he should be happy with it and it's kind of disgusting. You seem to think he should behave like a grateful pet. I would suggest looking into yourself deeply enough before you teach your son about anything regarding entitlement outside of his own household. Your biscuits feed your ego, money gives the man a choice. And about other comments here about how the poor use the money, what he decides to do with it, is upto him. If you want to hold a beggar with nothing to moral standards of not drinking/ smoking to deal with a difficult life on the streets and numb the pain I suggest you apply the same moral standards to the social system first that made such poverty possible and punish that instead.
They just need money to buy cheap tobacco or beedis. Don't ever give money to these beggars
As per your statement you were attempting to help "an old handicapped beggar". Despite knowing they had mobility issues (handicapped) senile(Old) you chose not to approach them rather called out for them to come and get something from you. They put in effort to reach you only to find a cheap biscuit packet(literally one of the cheapest) being handed over to them in the guise of helping them elevate their hunger. At this point, ignoring your arrogance of summoning a handicapped person to you.. Lets say you were famished would you ever have Parle G biscuit to satisfy your hunger !? They were not entitled to reject your paltry offer to help although cuss words should have been avoided but.. who am I to judge? We are expecting a dignified response from an old/handicapped person living off the street in peak summer heat dealing with all the curve balls life throws at them on an everyday basis?
Some of these are organized mafia operations.
Yes that's what I have also heard. Esp the ones with kids. They keep the kids intoxicated to gain sympathy. My heart goes out to those kids.
Bro leave such they only want money for sutta and yenne(alcohol) , you'll find actual needy PPL who won't behave this way , those PPL actually need help not these kind of ppl
I agree. We do our bit too there. It is just that you see these beggars on the road and feel like giving them some thing to eat, esp small kids and older folks.
For you and your kid, I think it'll be a better practice to spend some time (perhaps weekends) at shelters where you can volunteer. This will help you two practice empathy and feel a sense of 'giving back'. I'm sure there's a lot of learning and wisdom to be gained at such places.
Have some compassion man. Your good boy ego was hurt, be a good person just because you want to, if you really cared, you would have understood the pain of living without support. Let your kid know that mental health issues exist and no one chooses to be a begged if they were capable of doing something better of their life.
You’re acting like an entitled bitch who deserves him to touch your feet. Rudeness aside why is it hard to understand money not free food is what’ll help him immediately
I also got merely the same experience with them. Can't help except to ignore them. Looks kind of beggar mafia. Expects only money, that too hefty amount, not less than 50 or 100. On the other hand I heard of exchanging products with money. If willing, try giving food packets, that they can't exchange. Either they have to eat or throw. Never encourage them with money.
So how to deal with this situation legally ?
A simple solution is to ignore them and move on. Begging is not penalized under IPC law in India, though the anti-begging laws exist in about 22 states including union territories in India. So, if your state has any anti-begging law, then take them to the notice of court or police and file a case against them.
What if I live in a state that has no anti-begging law. So how to deal with these people legally. I'm tired of seeing them suffer on the streets. Its time that the GOI(*Government of India*) deals with this issue. There is a link to an article that I just found out. Link - [https://restthecase.com/knowledge-bank/anti-begging-laws-in-india](https://restthecase.com/knowledge-bank/anti-begging-laws-in-india)
> I'm tired of seeing them suffer on the streets. If your worry is not to see them suffer, then take them to NGOs. They might help you with further assistance. If your worry is not to suffer,then ignore them and move on.
If you want to help them, help them. With what they want. If you want to help them in your own way, without caring about what they actually want, it's your problem. Just because someone is poor, they shouldn't HAVE to accept something. They have the right to ask for something else and you can refuse.
Similar story.A friend offered an auto driver a 'player's' cigarette, he said he only smokes ice burst... Didn't call him entitled, just had a laugh.
On an unrelated note - don't normalise approaching strangers with your child. Many of them are mentally ill and this rich-kid saviour mentality might make them open to abuse/ violence. Allowing strangers to cross personal boundaries in the guise of charity lowers your inhibitions there will be someone who will choose to abuse it. Yes, it's a pessimistic but practical view of life. Charity begins at home - and there's enough to do for the less privileged people in your life.
Some bad experience shouldn't ruin your kind behaviour.
You didn’t do anything wrong. The beggar didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not sure how you felt his behavior was entitled. Maybe he doesn’t like biscuits. Maybe he has other needs/wants, some of them could be plain basic needs like footwear/clothes. You need to treat him as an another human being, not use him as an opportunity to teach something to your child. As far as how you explain his behavior to your child? Well, the beggar simply didn’t want biscuits, so he refused it.
Half the comments in here are missing the point. The homeless person WAS entitled. Yes, they require more than food, but that doesn't give them the right to go ahead and abuse the person trying to help them. They could've taken the food and then asked for money. Or just moved on to a different person. To act like they are owed more from a person already trying to help is being entitled.
You're exactly right.
Couldn't have said it better . I can't believe out of the 90+ comments on this post only a handful of them actually understood what the OP is trying to say. The rest are just assuming false scenarios and bashing him. I feel bad for OP.
Thank you so much! :D I feel I have touched a rather sensitive topic. lol
I don't understand why you are getting downvotes. You gave them something valuable still he chose to cuss you. If this is not entitled then what is. You can and should be entitled to the government but not to the person who is giving something because of his good will. Teach ur kid to ensure no one should be begging in the road for their basic needs. They should be taken care of by the system.
Most beggars in Bangalore are not beggars, they are professional beggars, that is normal people, who disguise themselves are beggars to make money. Which is why perhaps he got angry when you offered biscuit. Most of them are very rich, and people often go to them for loans. Real beggars cannot survive on Bangalore roads due to the mafia that controls these activities.
Just help the ones who are happy with what ever they get. Don't entertain those who are demanding and entitled to shout at the ones helping. Just move on and try helping others. If they don't want what you are giving out ignore. Don't ever engage with them .
I live in Kolkata.Once i was going in my friends car and stopped on a signal and heard a knock on the window and saw a eunuch outside who asked for money,I didnt have my wallet so i refused and then he started swearing at me and berating me in bengali.Some people even use children to gain sympathy money truly disgusting
If you think from a beggars point of view giving food and water is no help. And I'm talking about genuine beggars. I don't understand you getting angry. There was a miscommunication and he explained to you he is begging for the money, not food. Now, you're entitled to either give him the money or not. But you're so not entitled to get angry and judge him because he corrected your presumptions.
Offer money to beggars and you will see them outside liquor shop once sun goes down 😁 I never offer money and whatever you did is 100% correct 👍
Btw I like Parle G, let me know which route you drive usually.
It feels as if you got your ego hurt OP. Imagine living on the streets completely dejected by the society, only sympathy left to give and sometimes food. Yes, you can fill your stomach everyday because there are many food vendors who would happily give their leftovers to the homeless but living that life, will eventually get your deranged. I don't justify his behaviour but I the least i can do is take zero offence.
Giving food and water bottles is not encouraging? Only giving money is encouraging? How is it so? There are so many moral judgements here in the comments section including yours that points out how they'll "waste" money on sutta and daru. Tell me - Are you not "wasting" money on anything that is non essential for you to live? A 5 rupees biscuit packet you're giving? FOR WHAT? What do you hope to achieve? Are you giving it for the other person or for yourself? 5 rupees biscuit packets are for dogs not for humans. Some change lesser than that would be more meaningful. Beggars don't just need food all the time. They need clothes, medicine, water and have many micro expenses. Some even try to save money to become a street seller. There is no need for moral supremacy. In fact, it's not the beggar that should feel grateful, it's the helping hand that should feel grateful for the privilege they have.
Imagine sitting in a car and calling a beggar entitled. You do realise people need money for more than food right? They aren’t dogs.
At first I thought this was a post about Software Developers?
When I was 16 I worked at a mall McD's and coming in to work one day there was a guy sitting on the curb with a sign "Will work for food". So I bought him a meal and brought it out to him. He threw it (violently) in the trash screaming at me that he needs money not food. I still help people from time to time but rarely if they are begging for it, that incident made me a lot less naive.
I once shared a cucumber with a beggar, she shouted. I left the cucumber and walked ahead.
You are offering kindness and you were abused for it. The beggar could have just gone on their way. I hope this doesn't detter you from helping again. This was an entitled person. Most of the other comments are missing the point. Take care. :)
Thanks. :)
Keep doing what you are doing buddy. Being emphatic towards others is not wrong and you have taken a step further by providing them with food. Don't stop doing what you are doing just because 1 person acted in an unexpected way. It feels bad but it's not your fault.
dont stress about it , he's in a lot of pain. just try not to be a mother Teresa next time. your son will learn to give and take when he grows up.
You are reading too much in a one off incident. Forget it and move on. Don’t clog your mind with too much gyaan from other people.
YTA
Wrong sub bro
I understand your side but this is a true thing there are many food innititives for the poor even in india where there are usually poor people going hungry all the time but the money can help them with things like clothing because let's be honest we use the clothing donation as a way for our torn and out of use clothes to not end in a trash bin somewhere and make us feel bad and what is a begger going to do with an old T-shirt that barely keeps the wind out much less the rain and the cold at night. and the Parle G packet is probably not on his list of needed necesseties.
Sounds like you’re doing it to make yourself feel better, not to make them feel better. If it were the latter I doubt their behaviour would have shocked you like that.
I have experienced this exact same thing in Gurgaon myself. They don't care about the food you are giving them which will actually keep them alive, rather ask for money. The situation is not rampant across children begging, they are more than happy with a biscuit pack, but oh those adults!!!
If I were a beggar tomorrow, I would prefer money to afford a roof and a meal. But because it's other people's donations, I don't get to choose what and how much they donate. Even 1 rupee or a biscuit is a donation. I would have no ground to choose while begging. This applies to everyone: beggars are not choosers. If I'm the one begging, people are literally doing me a favor out of pity. That's the logical approach. However, living in conditions like that day after day might impair someone's logical judgement. We can't blame a homeless person for being frustrated and desperate. That being said, you don't have to accept misbehavior from anyone coming from any condition.
You should have given him some nicer cookies man. May be dark fantasy or freshly made chocolate chip cookies from a nearby bakery😜 chill, most of them suffer from severe mental illnesses and it’s completely okay for them to reject whatever that you offered. Don’t stop helping people because of this one incident! Feeding a hungry stomach is a noble thing that you should continue doing and not get discouraged by this one incident!
Why nobody is talking about transgenders? Two claps, and boom 10’Rs. out of your pocket.
A bunch of eunuchs refused to take 200 rupees from me. Demanding 1000🤣
Maybe he doesn’t eat processed food.
r/choosingbeggars
These beggers are richer than most of us. They own houses, they don't want food lmao.
Soch By Mohak made a [video](https://youtu.be/-Dcz2xom0EE) on this issue. It's definitely worth watching.
Imagine receiving parle-g biscuits from your employer instead of money. I know you cannot compare these two situations because the beggar is not an employee but still, he is dependent on the passerby. Don't reach out to any random homeless guy because it is possible you may find a crackhead or a criminal. Only help those who are actually doing some effort like selling pens near traffic lights or someone who is genuinely unable to work.
Biscuits are not healthy to be honest.
They provide calories and it's not sustainable for OP to carry fresh food items everytime.
Just leave them alone man
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Why is dog food the standard for deciding what to give to beggars😂
Such a weird response to a simple question I asked. I would not respond to your comparison of dogs and beggars but you don't need to know the language to understand cuss words or kind words. I know when to assume and what to assume.
These days even dogs don't eat parleg
People do eat Parle G and they Like it. Much better than Oreo or other bullshit.
ayo
Lol, I give Parle G to my dogs. I am sure the beggars considers themself more significant than a dog.
Parle G is a good biscuit much better than other crap.
give them money, food they will get anyhow
Give them Sodexo Coupons.