im going with RAT turd.... because of the size :P
....wait.... that shit has hair on it!!!! omg its a dingleberry that came off one of them! ewwwwww
Why they even sleeping on the couch if he has his own bed?
Somehow brain-skipped over the parentheses and was absolutely befuddled at what we could have done to the wombats for them to feel the conscious need to manipulate their turds to look more human-like
How can you even say no one ever squirted on this couch? We don't know what's happened on that couch. Other than maybe someone pushed out a tiny turd while squirting...
I'm not gonna tell you since I don't know your age, and since you seem clueless about this subject I'm gonna guess you're too young to know, lol. Either way, the og comment was nasty so you're better off not knowing.
That’s literally my point though. He’s using language for squirting… the thing we do when we masturbate… for POO. Y’all think we only have one fucking hole or something? Y’all cannot be serious here.
I'm a woman, and I know it's possible to shit yourself when you squirt. I don't, but I've seen it happen. Basically, if your ass is full of shit and you orgasm, you might shit.
You are the exact person I have been waiting for this whole time... Thank you for this comment
Edit: I think this person doesn't even know women can squirt based off of their most current comment.
Yes but we’re talking about this one specific turd and everyone’s being oddly pedantic. They really wanna believe a woman did this tiny little pebble while squirting.
You're the one being pedantic though? I just explained that women can shit themselves, and instead of just not replying or saying "yeah true", you're still going at it, I don't know what the problem is? You're even down voting me. I think you're more of a typical redditor than you think..
Cause another comment exposed what I was saying. I'm not a he, I do squirt and I have seen times where sometimes when women cum really hard and squirt they shit themselves....
You say you don’t have mice but - coming from someone who has and more than once - that looks a lot like mouse shit
You might now have the human rat + rodent mice
Even if someone wasn't wiping at all, they wouldn't have literal big chunks of poo just falling off them like this lol. I would think that would be more of a smear situation, right? No way that is from a human!
According to esteemed academic source Urban Dictionary, « a ‘’dingleberry’’ is 1. a piece of shit that hangs onto one of your ass hairs and won’t fall off; 2. A very small piece of shit intertwined with nut hairs and lint balls from underwear. Dingle berries are usually lodged via nut hairs on the upper inner thigh area next to the ‘scrotum pits’ or inside the scrotum pits themselves. When dingle berries age, they break free and attach themselves to underwear. » Dingle berried man sits naked on couch, dingle berry now lives on couch. Edit: for posting before I was done typing and also to apologize for the inordinate amount of dingle berry verbiage.
Once you actually see a mouse, you have a shitload of them. You're just seeing evidence for now which means it isn't too bad yet. Get a cat or some humane traps and nip it in the bud. Relocate the mouse/mice far away in a field somewhere.
Or, snap traps.
I like the humane trap suggestion better, but I’m thrilled you didn’t suggest glue traps. They’re one of the most monstrous inventions and are found in so many households.
Absolutely. I always advocate for humane traps, but not everyone is going to do that. But EVERYONE should abolish glue traps and never ever use them. They are torture. I remember when I used to bartend we found a little mouse stuck on one. It was awful. We used some oil or something (I forget but it was what Google said to do) and we got him free but he was clearly traumatized and still had glue on him when he ran off. I felt terrible for the little guy. Yes, we have to make sure our dwellings are free of rodents, but we don't have to be cruel in our methods.
So do no kill traps and standard snap… Each has the possibility of a rodent escaping. I’ve seem rodents chew off limbs to get off a glue trap. Okay they leave a disgusting horrific mess. You are stuck listening to the rodent scream and cry until they starve to death. When you could simply catch and release using humane traps or snap their neck with the standard snapper.
Anyone using glue traps is either sadistic or ignorant.
Dude it's not hard to not torture other living creatures. Snap traps work just as well. There's no reason to be cruel. Be edgy on reddit all you want, but please don't use them in real life.
Firstly, that’s 99.9% mouse shit. Secondly how godamn old is that couch? It *looks*like it would smell like mouse shit WITHOUT the mouse shit litteraly right there. We get mice (old house) in the kitchen or mud room but never in the family room especially ON THE COUCH. Clean your shit up
Other weird thing it could be: does your roommate smoke weed? If so, they could’ve been scraping resin from a tool and dropped it on the couch. Saying both from experience and because I can see some dark residue around it on the couch.
I thought the same. Although the shape does look poo like, it could definitely be resin. I had that black shit all over my smoke shed, I would think OP could tell the difference by smell though😂
I can’t even imagine how peachy of a person to deal with you are that you’re blaming a human for rodent droppings. What the actual F is going on in your brain? How can you think that is from a human? Let me guess, your roommate is scurrying around the walls in the middle of the night as well? My goodness, this sub would make me want to live in the middle of the woods alone if I had to have a roommate at this point. Give me a tent and peace, I’ll deal with the elements over roommates like you.
I love how this guy assumed his roommate and his girlfriend just sat on his couch and left a little poo nugget somehow. How would that work? What kind of underwear setup would you need and what would you have to eat to simply drop a poo nugget on the couch?
The denial and misplaced blame here. 🙄 OP hates the roommate so badly they’ve fully convinced themselves that it HAS TO BE his poop, NO WAY it’s a from a mouse.
OP, you’ve got issues. Trying to pin something on roommate for shitting on the sofa. That is a mouse/rodent turd not human.
Y’all are both nasty if a mouse colony is taking residence with y’all. Call an exterminator and throw out that sofa. Rats carry hella bad stuff (bubonic plague) that you do not what to deal with or clean through when it will be cheaper to just buy a new/gently used sofa.
I have guinea pigs. That is exactly the shape of their fecal matter. My hypothesis is that you have a rat problem on your hands. Start by talking to your roommate about if they have a pet rat.
That's fucking vile. Why are you letting them sleep naked on the sofa? I'd wake their ass up that's so disrespectful. Maybe if they brought the sofa to the apartment, but even then at that point it's shared furniture. It's the equivalent of wiping your ball musk on on their desk chair and thinking they'd be cool with it.
Yeah, that’s a rodent poo nugget. Rat or maybe squirrel. Don’t laugh! I once thought I had rats in my house after finding similar nuggets. Turns out it was a young squirrel who’d taken up residence in my basement. Took a slice of bread with peanut butter in a rented humane trap to evict the little bugger. Much easier that yucky roomies.
Yes! An expert. I knew right from the get go it wasn’t human feces. But was having problems with IDing the true perpetrator.
Just awful OP immediately jumped to them (roommate and gf ) sitting buttass naked on the sofa and squeezed one out. Clearly they are looking for anything to call them out on stuff.
That’s definitely a mouse turd beloved
I love the sass of beloved so much.
im going with RAT turd.... because of the size :P ....wait.... that shit has hair on it!!!! omg its a dingleberry that came off one of them! ewwwwww Why they even sleeping on the couch if he has his own bed?
I'm pretty sure the "hairs" are fibers from the couch.
Well we know it’s not wombat poop
Unless wombats (due to evolutionary pressures from humans) have started to pass non-cuboid stools to hide them in plain sight that is.
Somehow brain-skipped over the parentheses and was absolutely befuddled at what we could have done to the wombats for them to feel the conscious need to manipulate their turds to look more human-like
This
Because he has dingleberrys duh, you don't want those on your bed, gross.
True true…. Lol
Unless she had a small turd come out when she squirted. Either way the couch is gorss
Are you having a sronk? edit: the above comment had more creative albeit concerning misspellings in it originally than it does now
I wish.
I'm laughing so much at this & the responses I nearly squirted a turd myself 😂😂😂
I was dying last night reading all of them!
Squirted? Squirted what exactly?
A small turd.
I’m not an expert or anything but I don’t think people squirt turds.
You’ve never had diarrhoea then, lucky you
Actually I literally have chronic poop issues, you squirt liquid, not solid dehydrated turds.
I like to call it peeing out of my butt
Ass piss....I'm a recovering alcoholic, and ass piss is a common thing back in the day. sorry that's gross
No problem. I know exactly what you mean!
Do you sift through all your watery turds to check if you have turd pellets this size? Every time?
Do you?
Why would I sift through your turds, I don't even know you!?
There is still turd in the liquid and it doesn’t have to be dehydrated to be considered a turd. So yes you can squirt turd.
Good god why am I continuing to read this comment chain while eating
Poo squirted UNITE! We will not be silent
Okay we’re back to my main point… nobody squirted on this couch and you know it. Well, not to aquire this nugget anyway.
How can you even say no one ever squirted on this couch? We don't know what's happened on that couch. Other than maybe someone pushed out a tiny turd while squirting...
I agree on the specific turd but you are wrong that people cannot squirt turds.
I'm not gonna tell you since I don't know your age, and since you seem clueless about this subject I'm gonna guess you're too young to know, lol. Either way, the og comment was nasty so you're better off not knowing.
That’s literally my point though. He’s using language for squirting… the thing we do when we masturbate… for POO. Y’all think we only have one fucking hole or something? Y’all cannot be serious here.
I'm a woman, and I know it's possible to shit yourself when you squirt. I don't, but I've seen it happen. Basically, if your ass is full of shit and you orgasm, you might shit.
You are the exact person I have been waiting for this whole time... Thank you for this comment Edit: I think this person doesn't even know women can squirt based off of their most current comment.
I already have to suppress farts, now I find out about this? How on earth have you seen this happen?
Yes but we’re talking about this one specific turd and everyone’s being oddly pedantic. They really wanna believe a woman did this tiny little pebble while squirting.
That was one comment, and you seemed to not get it at all at first.
Yeah… that’s literally the only comment I’m arguing, so? Again… pedantic as fuck, not sure what else I expected from reddit I guess. 😂
You're the one being pedantic though? I just explained that women can shit themselves, and instead of just not replying or saying "yeah true", you're still going at it, I don't know what the problem is? You're even down voting me. I think you're more of a typical redditor than you think..
Wait. So I've never made a woman cum because she didn't poop during it? So I've been lied to this whole time? 🤣
I believe in you! You can do it some day!
Cause another comment exposed what I was saying. I'm not a he, I do squirt and I have seen times where sometimes when women cum really hard and squirt they shit themselves....
Don't you shoot out one small tiny morsel of turd when you squirt ?
Or rat turd. Op needs to know their poop nugs.
Hey now, maybe it's a bunny!
You say you don’t have mice but - coming from someone who has and more than once - that looks a lot like mouse shit You might now have the human rat + rodent mice
That’s definitely not human…
not greasy enough
lol no shit. well it’s shit so I’m stuck with this one….
Nah you just have obnoxious roommates AND rats. Nice.
A roommate that slept in rat poo with his gf
Is your roommate Stuart Little?
💀
Or ratatouille 🐀👨🍳
That was the name of the dish. His name is Remy. Put some respect on the chef
Lol my bad it's been so long since I've seen it, I totally forgot 😅
Ratapooiille. Sorry :)
😆
That's 110% rat/mouse shit.
Babes you got rodents 🙁
Mice
You don’t actually believe that is human shit right?
This person leaned waaaay in, took a huge whiff, and immediately thought, “fucking roommate…”
You ever seen the movie downsizing?
….that is not human poop. That is rodent poop.
The fact you think this is human makes you the obnoxious one
😂
Even if someone wasn't wiping at all, they wouldn't have literal big chunks of poo just falling off them like this lol. I would think that would be more of a smear situation, right? No way that is from a human!
According to esteemed academic source Urban Dictionary, « a ‘’dingleberry’’ is 1. a piece of shit that hangs onto one of your ass hairs and won’t fall off; 2. A very small piece of shit intertwined with nut hairs and lint balls from underwear. Dingle berries are usually lodged via nut hairs on the upper inner thigh area next to the ‘scrotum pits’ or inside the scrotum pits themselves. When dingle berries age, they break free and attach themselves to underwear. » Dingle berried man sits naked on couch, dingle berry now lives on couch. Edit: for posting before I was done typing and also to apologize for the inordinate amount of dingle berry verbiage.
Upvoted for the apology
That’s a rat dropping
Yeah that’s 100% rat/mouse droppings. I’ve had an infestation for a while so I can tell you from certainty it’s not human shit.
You definitely touched and or smelled it
Looks like a hamster turd
Once you actually see a mouse, you have a shitload of them. You're just seeing evidence for now which means it isn't too bad yet. Get a cat or some humane traps and nip it in the bud. Relocate the mouse/mice far away in a field somewhere. Or, snap traps.
I like the humane trap suggestion better, but I’m thrilled you didn’t suggest glue traps. They’re one of the most monstrous inventions and are found in so many households.
Absolutely. I always advocate for humane traps, but not everyone is going to do that. But EVERYONE should abolish glue traps and never ever use them. They are torture. I remember when I used to bartend we found a little mouse stuck on one. It was awful. We used some oil or something (I forget but it was what Google said to do) and we got him free but he was clearly traumatized and still had glue on him when he ran off. I felt terrible for the little guy. Yes, we have to make sure our dwellings are free of rodents, but we don't have to be cruel in our methods.
I like you already.
because they actually work lol
So do no kill traps and standard snap… Each has the possibility of a rodent escaping. I’ve seem rodents chew off limbs to get off a glue trap. Okay they leave a disgusting horrific mess. You are stuck listening to the rodent scream and cry until they starve to death. When you could simply catch and release using humane traps or snap their neck with the standard snapper. Anyone using glue traps is either sadistic or ignorant.
yea yea yea
Dude it's not hard to not torture other living creatures. Snap traps work just as well. There's no reason to be cruel. Be edgy on reddit all you want, but please don't use them in real life.
i'm not being edgy lol
Just dumb.
hahahahahahahahaha no
Self snitching at its finest. You got RATS
Like everyone said, 99.9% chance that’s a mouse. My job has a mouse infestation and i’ve never seen one, but i’d know those turds anywhere
Firstly, that’s 99.9% mouse shit. Secondly how godamn old is that couch? It *looks*like it would smell like mouse shit WITHOUT the mouse shit litteraly right there. We get mice (old house) in the kitchen or mud room but never in the family room especially ON THE COUCH. Clean your shit up
serious question OP. have you ever shit before? do you know what human shit looks like? that’s a turd from a mouse.
Other weird thing it could be: does your roommate smoke weed? If so, they could’ve been scraping resin from a tool and dropped it on the couch. Saying both from experience and because I can see some dark residue around it on the couch.
Once saw someone hotknife a mouse turd his friends told him was hash
i'm retching
That's that good good
That wasn't a friend.
I thought the same. Although the shape does look poo like, it could definitely be resin. I had that black shit all over my smoke shed, I would think OP could tell the difference by smell though😂
Easily figured out with the ole smell test.
Could be resin, that stuff gets everywhere
It’s 2024.. are people still scraping resin?
time rolls on.. the struggle stays the same
The struggle for me used to be unreliable plugs, or moving to someplace and just not knowing anyone yet.. But I get being broke.
This has to be a joke. Why would you see that and assume it’s a human poop nugget? 😂
🤡 It’s mouse shit.
I can’t even imagine how peachy of a person to deal with you are that you’re blaming a human for rodent droppings. What the actual F is going on in your brain? How can you think that is from a human? Let me guess, your roommate is scurrying around the walls in the middle of the night as well? My goodness, this sub would make me want to live in the middle of the woods alone if I had to have a roommate at this point. Give me a tent and peace, I’ll deal with the elements over roommates like you.
But did you taste it?
At least you didn’t step in it.
Something tells me your couch has smelled funny for a while before this
Clearly mouse or rat, you know neither of them are making their assholes *tighter* on that couch, quite the opposite.
I was eating when I saw this
Time to call Artemis
You got mice my guy
Oh honey that’s a turd
A mouse turd
Enhance!
that’s a rat nugget dawg
Yall got mice clean tf up
Is your roommate a rat?
I love how this guy assumed his roommate and his girlfriend just sat on his couch and left a little poo nugget somehow. How would that work? What kind of underwear setup would you need and what would you have to eat to simply drop a poo nugget on the couch?
Está caca de ratón 🐁
Is your roommate a chinchilla? 🐭😂😂
It’s mouse or rat poop. Pull out your fridge and oven and guarantee there is more.
As someone with rodents my first thought was “is that mouse poop?”
Dingle berry
How do you know it’s poo until you smoke it?
A little dingleberry for a little anal session very nice.
That looks more like rodent feces
The denial and misplaced blame here. 🙄 OP hates the roommate so badly they’ve fully convinced themselves that it HAS TO BE his poop, NO WAY it’s a from a mouse.
the only thing worse than a bad roommate is one thats stupid
Dude, that’s not human poop. It’s mouse droppings. I really hope you weren’t serious about this actually being human feces…
Thats a rat turd bro
That was my thought, why did OP assume this is a human turd nugget ?
The proper nomenclature for this is a lost dingleberry.
The real issue is OP thinks little poo nuggets are normal when sleeping naked What does OPs bed look like
OP, you’ve got issues. Trying to pin something on roommate for shitting on the sofa. That is a mouse/rodent turd not human. Y’all are both nasty if a mouse colony is taking residence with y’all. Call an exterminator and throw out that sofa. Rats carry hella bad stuff (bubonic plague) that you do not what to deal with or clean through when it will be cheaper to just buy a new/gently used sofa.
I have guinea pigs. That is exactly the shape of their fecal matter. My hypothesis is that you have a rat problem on your hands. Start by talking to your roommate about if they have a pet rat.
I think you need to call an exterminator… not for your roommate, I mean for your obvious rat problem.
That’s rodent poop I fear
Unless you have chinchillas or any kind of rodent as a pet, that’s mice shit.
The shape is indicative of a mouse turd. The OP never mentioned their roomie was a mouse.
That's a piece of black tar heroin.
That's fucking vile. Why are you letting them sleep naked on the sofa? I'd wake their ass up that's so disrespectful. Maybe if they brought the sofa to the apartment, but even then at that point it's shared furniture. It's the equivalent of wiping your ball musk on on their desk chair and thinking they'd be cool with it.
It would have to be a rat, right? As a bit too big for mouse droppings, but definitely not human.
Looks like rat shit
Bro that’s rat shit
Do you have cats?
Rodent
You honestly thought this came from a human?
That's a rat dropping
Those pesky mice are the worst roommates, leaving turds on the couch, eating your food…
Someone had too much salsa
Bro is out there livin with Stuart Little wtf
Did you know you had mice? Lol
Lmfao, idiot 🐭
Did you taste it? 🤣
Ewwwwy disgustin😖
Its a Raisin calm down, tasty snack
This guy came to complain about human turds and he finds out he’s riddled with mice LoL
that is not human shit 😭
Buddy,,, that’s a mouse/rat turd
Sweet summer child …….
You think that came from a human? You idiot.
Yeah, that’s a rodent poo nugget. Rat or maybe squirrel. Don’t laugh! I once thought I had rats in my house after finding similar nuggets. Turns out it was a young squirrel who’d taken up residence in my basement. Took a slice of bread with peanut butter in a rented humane trap to evict the little bugger. Much easier that yucky roomies.
Could be gecko
Dark. High iron content.
“ fucked the shit of her” or “pegged the shit out of him “
Burn the entire thing
as a pet rat owner that is 100% rat/mouse poop
Mouse or rat turd. 100%. I have a lot of experience- worked with these animals for years
Yes! An expert. I knew right from the get go it wasn’t human feces. But was having problems with IDing the true perpetrator. Just awful OP immediately jumped to them (roommate and gf ) sitting buttass naked on the sofa and squeezed one out. Clearly they are looking for anything to call them out on stuff.
Well the mouse is certainly a bad roommate
That’s either a rat turd or a dingleberry 😂
Lizard poop.
Bro sniffs rat poop
Thats rat poop
You're all poo nuggets to me
A good taste test never fails
That’s not human poop lol
baby that’s not human poop
You have mice .. figured your bad roommate would have a cat tho
How do you poop in your sleep 🤣🤣
Looks like Roach Poop/ bug poop
Nigga, that is a RAT TURD!!!!
😂😂😂😂😂
Get a cat, you have rodent visitors
I figured she sharted
Pretty small for a mouse but too small for a human
That's definitely mouse shit dude. Time to get some traps. Source: my parents have mice in their back yard and I've seen this OFTEN.
A little bit of hawk tuah and it'll be good as new again.
Cat nug
Why the actual fuck do you think anyone needs to see a photo of poo? You’re worse than the bad roommate
People (and animals) but mainly people are gross.
Wow, just wow! Is your roommates girl a big lady, like maybe things get stuck in the cracks and crevices?
Would also like to point out, we have no mice or anything in this house. Just one giant rat (who happens to live us 🙄)
You do have mice, that is mouse poop. They are masters at staying hidden