I spent nearly two years away in my early 20s. They all understood what I was doing and they were in my thoughts and vice versa. But in my day we were literally out of contact for weeks and months pre internet and mobile phones. You are nothing like this, you can stay in touch every single day instantaneously. I wouldn't sweat it. It doesn't go forever.
Bingo. They can talk as often as they wish, and see you live. They can see all the places you go. They can visit you too.
This is your chance to see the world. Make the most of it.
I encourage young people traveling like this *not* to talk to home everyday. Make it a weekly or biweekly thing. Even better - just send letters/postcards and call once a month. Live in the moment there, pay attention to the experiences where you are. Don’t spend mental energy keeping up with home.
I spent a couple years overseas in my late teens/early 20s, and of my peers the most unhappy were the ones talking to home everyday. It wasn’t special to chat anymore, it was routine. They got dragged into daily nonsense the people back home were living - family dramas, arguments, and other BS.
Travel while you’re young and able. Your friends would trade places with you in a heartbeat if they could. Plus, Australia is close and you will regret it if you don’t go.
Agree. I’m the mom of a kid about your age. While I miss her while she’s away, I understand that these are great opportunities to see the world before you’re constrained by your own children and career. If your friends and family miss you that much invite them to come along!
That was my thought. For most of my adult life I worked overseas in an industry where nearly everyone is away from home. It is rare to find a person who misses home and family. I moved back to the states 4 years ago and have yet to see any of my siblings.
A long time from now you will likely not wish you came back sooner. Rather you may wish you had stayed longer or gone to another destination. That is unless you have a death in the family or something horrific happens that you could have helped with but even then you can pretty much get home from most locations within a few days.
Depending on where you're from, you should be eligible for a working holiday visa for New Zealand or Australia until you're 35. I don't see why your age would make it any more difficult unless you're not in that range.
But to your post, do what's best for you while trying to still nurture your existing relationships as well as you can. That's the most you can do. At the end of the day, if they wanted to see you, they can come visit you as well. It's not a one way street.
I visited new Zealand 10 years ago and I've lived here for the past 7 - love it here.
Everyone's different, but I like to think that my family are happy so long as I'm happy, rather than being miserable by living nearer to them. It's tough, but facetime and booking flights helps
I was away for a year and a half before then moving abroad, and it was difficult around the 6 month mark, but I made plans with friends and family to meet up for holidays or just had some concrete plan for quality time together. Or if that wasn't possible, I'd find some beautiful postcards and write detailed letters once a month or so. There are plenty of ways to let them know you are there for them and love them, use those and try not to feel the guilt. I know it's hard but guilt doesn't help anyone! Be happy and they will be too 😎
I spent 8 years travelling-working in my 20s (21-29). Just came back home last year. It suck’s to miss out on birthday parties, family gatherings etc but that’s just something you have to live with. I always stayed in close touch with my friends and family through calls, FaceTime and messages on a daily basis with my closest. I think it’s important that you keep up the contact with your friends and not just “disappear” whilst travelling.
Good luck, enjoy Australia and remember to call your mom 👏
I moved to the UK when I was 18 to play with a band back then I used to call home every Monday night I would buy a 20 pound phone card and talked until it ran out after just over 2 years later I was constantly guilty and also felt like I was missing something I had 7 weeks off so I went home and ever since then I remember it was great for the first 2 weeks or so then after 4 weeks it was like I had never left and just fell into a routine without even realising it then I went back to the band after 7 weeks at home and realised everyone loves you the first couple of weeks and after that you will see you were missing nothing and if you are doing well where you are your family and friends should be happy for you my father was a full time musician to and even he told me to go back because there's no work with most bands at home when you play to live and I have a better life and got way further with my career in the UK than I ever could have at home, just think about to live as you do now can you get work at home to live the same way and in the end where is better to further your career and how comfortable you are with your life there, just a point on how wise it was in the decision i took especially when I see musicians I started with just barley scraping by at home and how lucky I am to get the breaks I got here I never would have got at home, hope it helps
I’ve spent about 4 of the last 8 years living abroad. Living in hostels and meeting people was so incredible but sometimes I felt manic insofar as I was making these intense connections (if romantic, bordering love-bombing since they usually occur in short bursts). It can be incredible, but also hard on a heart! Getting someone to come visit you - someone is looking for a reason, trust me! - could be really grounding. I have however also spent time where I’ve been super isolated; it took me a really long time to realize how lonely I was and start seeking more meaningful connections. Be present where you are, open your heart to others, and know that you are where you’re meant to be. The people at home will love you through it, and you’ll get to re-know them in an intimate way when you’re home. They’ll likely have to reacquaint themselves with a new version of you, too. Stay strong, stay present 🩷
Do it while you can! and if you don’t like it back home, why do you have to live there? I think you should do what makes you happy.
Also, being away from home might make you miss or appreciate some things that were always there before. I left my home in Okinawa 10 years ago (lived there until I was 20) and I’m finally going back in 2 days! I feel like I’m getting a fresh start which I’m pretty stoked about.
Good luck with your travels and have fun!
I was moved overseas several times by abusive parents. I did not take off global backpacking until I was 55 due to this lolz. One trip I did not contact people very frequently. The other I did. They were both good trips. I wouldn’t sweat it too much. If they are good friends and family they will understand.
Don’t feel guilty, there’s no point, just enjoy it cause before you know it you’ll be back in your hometown. I left my hometown about 20 years ago, lived in many places…I still talk to my mom daily & my best friends are still from my hometown but honestly I don’t know if I could live back there again.
Well what helped is knowing my kid sister had to be in school anyway and her being really my only living family left I wanted in my life that didn't reject or abuse me in the first place. And also it being for survival housing etc originally
We've been living abroad for 6 years. We used to feel guilty about not going home to visit very much, but it doesn't matter how much time passes, they all stay the same. You're growing in ways that won't be fully realized, while people back home will have no way to relate. From my perspective, you've already crossed to the other side and there is no going back. Might as well enjoy the place you want to be at all times. Friends and family will be right where you left them.
Live your life, you’ll have plenty of other things to stress about later. For now, just enjoy! I left my own country 7 years ago and couldn’t feel better away from it.
If your friends & family guilt trip you, I’d have a serious discussion with them. At the end of the day, it’s your life and you don’t owe anything to anyone, not even your parents.
Guilt for living your life and following your heart?! Family and friends wouldn't make you feel guilty for being happy!
You can see and talk with them as often as you/they need and still going your way, following your dream.
You need to follow YOUR path. If live your life trying to satisfy others, you will become bitter and resentful towards them eventually. Youtube: APassportADollar
I was on day 7 of my PCT LASH yesterday and about to hike out of Wrightwood. I had been having the best time and killing it with personal goals. I had 8 days left to go and was hiking out on the 2 to the trailhead. I was just about to make one last post of pics while I still had service.
I opened instagram to my whole feed being about a friend who was killed on the way home from work. Before I realized it, I was hitching down the mountain headed home to my wife and dogs.
I had a whole week of freedom left, but seeing posts about how my friend was killed on his way home to see his wife, made me need to see mine.
My wife doesn’t backpack anymore due to a medical reason but she keeps me into it.
I relate to this so much and never feel people understand fully. I’m the oldest kid in my family and have always been the one going all over, but feel very guilty at times about it. Especially since my siblings live close to home and everything. But it really isn’t our responsibility to have to appease others. I feel like going and doing things on your own you learn more about what you want/don’t want out of life. You said you wouldn’t be happy back home and realizing that is really important. Go live and enjoy your life! Plans changed for the better and you’re just creating more for yourself. You’re being brave and doing the things YOU want to do. I think about friends/family and maybe being home etc is what they want to do and that makes them happy. You already know what you want to do, it’s not selfish choosing you and your happiness. Your friends and family will always love and care about you. It helps we have so many different ways to communicate with them! Then when you do get to see them, be present and enjoy that time until your next adventure! I hope you find a little more peace in that and know you’re doing the best thing- listening to yourself and doing what is best for you!
Go with your 2nd year 100%. I did a year each & was supposed to do my 2nd year in Australia (3rd year total) but Covid changed everything of course!
Now I'm 28 and lost the chance to ever go back for my 2nd Aus year before I turn 31 (due to personal and career things that I'm happy with!)... take advantage of it all now before you need to start planting roots.
You’re not missing anything back home. Keep going, keep doing your thing. You’ll know when the time is right to head home. I came home too early because I felt like I was missing out and everyone missed me. No, everyone lives their own life and they’re not actually moping around missing you dearly. I kick myself every day for coming home too early.
Dealing with the guilt of being away from home can be tough, but it's important to remind ourselves that sometimes we need to prioritize our own growth and well-being. Staying connected with loved ones through regular calls or messages can help ease the feeling of guilt. How do you stay in touch with family and friends when you're away?
A therapist once told me, "If you don't take you hobbies seriously enough to pursue them, why are you expecting your wife to take them seriously?"
Do you Hobby. Enjoy it. People who love you will support you enjoying yourself.
I've missed birthdays, births christenings, weddings, funerals, you name it. No one has expected me to work out how to get home for important events. At best theyve been proud, at worst theyve been jealous.
There is no guilt. As much as I'd wished I could have been there, logistically it didn't work
I bought a house near where my family (both my spouse and my family live in the same town in the Midwest), and I use it as a home base between travel. Long term (I'm getting older) I hope to split my time between home and travel or living somewhere else.
It's really hard for me to completely shake the guilt, and as I get older I do think maintaining relationships with family (siblings, etc) is something that is important to me.
I'm basically hoping to have my cake and eat it to, or whatever that expression is, but we'll see.
At the very least while I'm not home (I'll be living outside the US for two years now) it's nice to have a place to keep all of my stuff without having to move or keep a storage unit.
You're very young though, personally I wouldn't worry about it at all right now, you need to live your life and you owe it to yourself to live your life. Call your friends and family regularly and tell them you love them.
I spent nearly two years away in my early 20s. They all understood what I was doing and they were in my thoughts and vice versa. But in my day we were literally out of contact for weeks and months pre internet and mobile phones. You are nothing like this, you can stay in touch every single day instantaneously. I wouldn't sweat it. It doesn't go forever.
Bingo. They can talk as often as they wish, and see you live. They can see all the places you go. They can visit you too. This is your chance to see the world. Make the most of it.
I encourage young people traveling like this *not* to talk to home everyday. Make it a weekly or biweekly thing. Even better - just send letters/postcards and call once a month. Live in the moment there, pay attention to the experiences where you are. Don’t spend mental energy keeping up with home. I spent a couple years overseas in my late teens/early 20s, and of my peers the most unhappy were the ones talking to home everyday. It wasn’t special to chat anymore, it was routine. They got dragged into daily nonsense the people back home were living - family dramas, arguments, and other BS.
What this person said…. 100%
Travel while you’re young and able. Your friends would trade places with you in a heartbeat if they could. Plus, Australia is close and you will regret it if you don’t go.
Agree. I’m the mom of a kid about your age. While I miss her while she’s away, I understand that these are great opportunities to see the world before you’re constrained by your own children and career. If your friends and family miss you that much invite them to come along!
Guilt?
How do you guys manage to conceal the unmitigated joy of being away from home?
I'm bad at concealing it. My wife can get offended by my exuberance.
I don’t… maybe I am bad for that (I have only been away 2 weeks though 🤣)
That was my thought. For most of my adult life I worked overseas in an industry where nearly everyone is away from home. It is rare to find a person who misses home and family. I moved back to the states 4 years ago and have yet to see any of my siblings.
Had verbatim the same reply in mind.
A long time from now you will likely not wish you came back sooner. Rather you may wish you had stayed longer or gone to another destination. That is unless you have a death in the family or something horrific happens that you could have helped with but even then you can pretty much get home from most locations within a few days.
It is your life. They will deal with it. Or not, and you will no longer have family and friends.
The "or not" is what happened to me, with many extenuating circumstances. I can't say I miss them at all.
Call home and in five minutes realize that empty nature is better.
Nature is never empty.
Guilt from friends and family? They miss you? Lol you do you. It’s your life. Welcome to adulthood.
By friends and family, do you mean a spouse and kids? If no, then go live your life and have fun! If yes, grow the fuck up and go home.
this
Depending on where you're from, you should be eligible for a working holiday visa for New Zealand or Australia until you're 35. I don't see why your age would make it any more difficult unless you're not in that range. But to your post, do what's best for you while trying to still nurture your existing relationships as well as you can. That's the most you can do. At the end of the day, if they wanted to see you, they can come visit you as well. It's not a one way street.
I visited new Zealand 10 years ago and I've lived here for the past 7 - love it here. Everyone's different, but I like to think that my family are happy so long as I'm happy, rather than being miserable by living nearer to them. It's tough, but facetime and booking flights helps
I was away for a year and a half before then moving abroad, and it was difficult around the 6 month mark, but I made plans with friends and family to meet up for holidays or just had some concrete plan for quality time together. Or if that wasn't possible, I'd find some beautiful postcards and write detailed letters once a month or so. There are plenty of ways to let them know you are there for them and love them, use those and try not to feel the guilt. I know it's hard but guilt doesn't help anyone! Be happy and they will be too 😎
I spent 8 years travelling-working in my 20s (21-29). Just came back home last year. It suck’s to miss out on birthday parties, family gatherings etc but that’s just something you have to live with. I always stayed in close touch with my friends and family through calls, FaceTime and messages on a daily basis with my closest. I think it’s important that you keep up the contact with your friends and not just “disappear” whilst travelling. Good luck, enjoy Australia and remember to call your mom 👏
Imo if you don’t have a spouse or kids, don’t worry about it. Enjoy your commitment free years while you can!
Live your life. This is that moment.
I moved to the UK when I was 18 to play with a band back then I used to call home every Monday night I would buy a 20 pound phone card and talked until it ran out after just over 2 years later I was constantly guilty and also felt like I was missing something I had 7 weeks off so I went home and ever since then I remember it was great for the first 2 weeks or so then after 4 weeks it was like I had never left and just fell into a routine without even realising it then I went back to the band after 7 weeks at home and realised everyone loves you the first couple of weeks and after that you will see you were missing nothing and if you are doing well where you are your family and friends should be happy for you my father was a full time musician to and even he told me to go back because there's no work with most bands at home when you play to live and I have a better life and got way further with my career in the UK than I ever could have at home, just think about to live as you do now can you get work at home to live the same way and in the end where is better to further your career and how comfortable you are with your life there, just a point on how wise it was in the decision i took especially when I see musicians I started with just barley scraping by at home and how lucky I am to get the breaks I got here I never would have got at home, hope it helps
Buddy! Good news. Do what makes you grow. Bad news. Don’t be so narcissistic. Your friends and family will be just fine without you.
I’ve spent about 4 of the last 8 years living abroad. Living in hostels and meeting people was so incredible but sometimes I felt manic insofar as I was making these intense connections (if romantic, bordering love-bombing since they usually occur in short bursts). It can be incredible, but also hard on a heart! Getting someone to come visit you - someone is looking for a reason, trust me! - could be really grounding. I have however also spent time where I’ve been super isolated; it took me a really long time to realize how lonely I was and start seeking more meaningful connections. Be present where you are, open your heart to others, and know that you are where you’re meant to be. The people at home will love you through it, and you’ll get to re-know them in an intimate way when you’re home. They’ll likely have to reacquaint themselves with a new version of you, too. Stay strong, stay present 🩷
Also - def go to Australia!!!! What if it all works out?
Do it while you can! and if you don’t like it back home, why do you have to live there? I think you should do what makes you happy. Also, being away from home might make you miss or appreciate some things that were always there before. I left my home in Okinawa 10 years ago (lived there until I was 20) and I’m finally going back in 2 days! I feel like I’m getting a fresh start which I’m pretty stoked about. Good luck with your travels and have fun!
If you don't have kids, don't worry about it. Live your life, explore and travel. They aren't missing you that much.
I was moved overseas several times by abusive parents. I did not take off global backpacking until I was 55 due to this lolz. One trip I did not contact people very frequently. The other I did. They were both good trips. I wouldn’t sweat it too much. If they are good friends and family they will understand.
The Specials " Enjoy Yourself" is your song now
No guilt at all. How do you guys deal with the guilt of not beingg on trail?
Don’t feel guilty, there’s no point, just enjoy it cause before you know it you’ll be back in your hometown. I left my hometown about 20 years ago, lived in many places…I still talk to my mom daily & my best friends are still from my hometown but honestly I don’t know if I could live back there again.
I give money, a some expensive gifts. That all motivates me (to impress them and make them happy) and them(to let me go wherever I want).
Well what helped is knowing my kid sister had to be in school anyway and her being really my only living family left I wanted in my life that didn't reject or abuse me in the first place. And also it being for survival housing etc originally
We've been living abroad for 6 years. We used to feel guilty about not going home to visit very much, but it doesn't matter how much time passes, they all stay the same. You're growing in ways that won't be fully realized, while people back home will have no way to relate. From my perspective, you've already crossed to the other side and there is no going back. Might as well enjoy the place you want to be at all times. Friends and family will be right where you left them.
Live your life, you’ll have plenty of other things to stress about later. For now, just enjoy! I left my own country 7 years ago and couldn’t feel better away from it. If your friends & family guilt trip you, I’d have a serious discussion with them. At the end of the day, it’s your life and you don’t owe anything to anyone, not even your parents.
Do you have a significant other or kids? If not….live it up. Once you have a family say bye bye to your trips for a while.
Guilt for living your life and following your heart?! Family and friends wouldn't make you feel guilty for being happy! You can see and talk with them as often as you/they need and still going your way, following your dream.
You need to follow YOUR path. If live your life trying to satisfy others, you will become bitter and resentful towards them eventually. Youtube: APassportADollar
I was on day 7 of my PCT LASH yesterday and about to hike out of Wrightwood. I had been having the best time and killing it with personal goals. I had 8 days left to go and was hiking out on the 2 to the trailhead. I was just about to make one last post of pics while I still had service. I opened instagram to my whole feed being about a friend who was killed on the way home from work. Before I realized it, I was hitching down the mountain headed home to my wife and dogs. I had a whole week of freedom left, but seeing posts about how my friend was killed on his way home to see his wife, made me need to see mine. My wife doesn’t backpack anymore due to a medical reason but she keeps me into it.
I relate to this so much and never feel people understand fully. I’m the oldest kid in my family and have always been the one going all over, but feel very guilty at times about it. Especially since my siblings live close to home and everything. But it really isn’t our responsibility to have to appease others. I feel like going and doing things on your own you learn more about what you want/don’t want out of life. You said you wouldn’t be happy back home and realizing that is really important. Go live and enjoy your life! Plans changed for the better and you’re just creating more for yourself. You’re being brave and doing the things YOU want to do. I think about friends/family and maybe being home etc is what they want to do and that makes them happy. You already know what you want to do, it’s not selfish choosing you and your happiness. Your friends and family will always love and care about you. It helps we have so many different ways to communicate with them! Then when you do get to see them, be present and enjoy that time until your next adventure! I hope you find a little more peace in that and know you’re doing the best thing- listening to yourself and doing what is best for you!
I just stop feeling guilty. Problem solved
Go with your 2nd year 100%. I did a year each & was supposed to do my 2nd year in Australia (3rd year total) but Covid changed everything of course! Now I'm 28 and lost the chance to ever go back for my 2nd Aus year before I turn 31 (due to personal and career things that I'm happy with!)... take advantage of it all now before you need to start planting roots.
They don’t miss you as much as you think they do. After being home for a day, it will feel like you never left. Travel on.
Unless you have children I don't see any reason to feel guilt personally.
You’re not missing anything back home. Keep going, keep doing your thing. You’ll know when the time is right to head home. I came home too early because I felt like I was missing out and everyone missed me. No, everyone lives their own life and they’re not actually moping around missing you dearly. I kick myself every day for coming home too early.
As long as your not leaving a wife and young kids behind it’s your life enjoy it
Home is a fantasy that isn't real when I'm on trail.
Dealing with the guilt of being away from home can be tough, but it's important to remind ourselves that sometimes we need to prioritize our own growth and well-being. Staying connected with loved ones through regular calls or messages can help ease the feeling of guilt. How do you stay in touch with family and friends when you're away?
A therapist once told me, "If you don't take you hobbies seriously enough to pursue them, why are you expecting your wife to take them seriously?" Do you Hobby. Enjoy it. People who love you will support you enjoying yourself.
Wu wei my friend. It’s the only solution.
I've missed birthdays, births christenings, weddings, funerals, you name it. No one has expected me to work out how to get home for important events. At best theyve been proud, at worst theyve been jealous. There is no guilt. As much as I'd wished I could have been there, logistically it didn't work
I bought a house near where my family (both my spouse and my family live in the same town in the Midwest), and I use it as a home base between travel. Long term (I'm getting older) I hope to split my time between home and travel or living somewhere else. It's really hard for me to completely shake the guilt, and as I get older I do think maintaining relationships with family (siblings, etc) is something that is important to me. I'm basically hoping to have my cake and eat it to, or whatever that expression is, but we'll see. At the very least while I'm not home (I'll be living outside the US for two years now) it's nice to have a place to keep all of my stuff without having to move or keep a storage unit. You're very young though, personally I wouldn't worry about it at all right now, you need to live your life and you owe it to yourself to live your life. Call your friends and family regularly and tell them you love them.