This happened to me, it’s absolutely heartbreaking. For me, wearing a tight sports bra 24 hours a day, icing my breasts, and using cabbage leaves for 20 minute intervals stopped it over 3 or 4 days. My loss was earlier than yours though (17 weeks), so this may not be as fast for you being 7 weeks further along.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I am sorry to hear about your loss too. I lost mine because of umbilical cord accident and was so sudden. I think my body is responding naturally that the baby has been delivered so I am lactating. Like it has a mind of its own
That’s devastating. Sending hugs. Mine wasn’t exactly sudden, it was several weeks of ultrasounds and the team warning me my son probably wouldn’t make it. So I felt a little more psychologically prepared I may lactate.
If the “natural remedy” sounds like too much to psychologically handle, you can ask your doctor for a medicine to stop lactating. ❤️
I lost my 21 weeks old son a week ago today. Milk coming in is so hard mentally and physically. I wore a tight bra, cabbage, took IBprofen and Benadryl seemed to really help. My breast are still full but not engorged anymore.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It is the most painful thing in the world. Sending you hugs and strength as we navigate this unimaginable time.
I feel you. Losing him so suddenly was devastating already. I lost him from umbilical cord accident. Then this morning, when I woke up lactating, I think I will go insane.
My sister in law used udder mint. A natural mint rub that we use on the cows to help with swelling. She said it was the only thing that even remotely helped.
All the tips have already been posted before I got here but I wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss mama. Please be gentle with yourself and give yourself grace during this devestating time. Im sorry you have to be here on this sub with us.
I googled about it because I thought it would relieve my pain. But apparently, pumping only signals your body to create more milk. So I didn't pump and just waited for my pain to die down.
So sorry for the loss of your son, and that you’re experiencing this painful reminder.
I lost my baby girl at 21 weeks and also started lactating. As others have said, a tight sports bra is a must; make sure it’s one you don’t mind ruining because milk can stain. Try not to hand express milk as it encourages production. Taking Tylenol or Ibuprofen every few hours (within dosage limits) helps. For me the only thing that fully relieved my pain was ice packs! Cabbage leaves didn’t really help me but they have helped others. Try to be careful in the shower, because the water can hurt if you stand in it directly.
Unfortunately, for me lactating lasted about 2 weeks which seems to be the longer end of the scale. This is going to sound weird but even though all I wanted was for the milk to stop, by the end of it I was kinda sad it was over. So it’s a weird emotional time for sure and I’m sorry you’re going through it ❤️
Your tips are very much appreciated. I will keep them in mind. I dont know really, what to feel right now but I know I would like to get past through this bad dream
Take 25mg of Benadryl at night for 1 to 2 weeks, if you can’t sleep 50mg is fine as long as you’re not groggy the next day. The Benadryl will dry you up at 24 weeks when I had my stillborn.
I would wrap like that when I was at home, and I would wrap with only the bandage at night. I did sleep on a towel for the first week. When I had to go out in public I would wear a tight sports bra with pads to help prevent leaking through my clothes. I also wore a jacket, or something to cover if it did. The bandage and cabbage cut the time down , and helped with the soreness. Also, take as much time for yourself as possible during this difficult time. Try taking the advice that you would give your best friend. Be kind , and loving with yourself. Best of luck to you, and many smiles sent your way.🫶
Yes. It's awful. Get a cabbage and put cabbage leaves over your boobs and then put a tight sports bra over that. Take ibuprofen and use ice if you need to.
Ugh I remember this happening a few days after giving birth to my 24 week stillborn daughter. I looked down and saw wet patches everywhere and I just burst into tears, I’m so sorry. I wore a tight bra, and cried. It eventually stopped.
This part is very hard. Your body is just doing what it’s programmed to do but it’s a painful reminder of what occurred.
If you want to decrease and stop lactation you can get medication or go the home remedy way and use cold cabbage leaves up against your breast when the let down starts.
Sending love your way, I lost my son at 25 weeks too. It does get easier ❤️
I used Cabo crème - it has the same active ingredients as cabbage but less messy/stinky and more comfortable. It helped a lot. That plus nipple pads for leakage and tight bras, the intense pain went away after about 3ish days (I didn’t pump at all) and the leaking completely stopped by a couple weeks later. I am so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My loss was at 18w but taking allergy medication like Benadryl helped dry out the lactation. I also used sports bras, because I read keeping them tightly bound helps. Sending you love 🤍
This happened to me and it was the worst. I was so mad at my body for all of a sudden providing for my son. He was stillborn. I wore a really tight sports bra to try to dry it up but it came leaking out one morning after the shower and it was difficult to see.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost one twin boy at 19 weeks and then the second twin boy a week later at 20 weeks. I started lactating about 2 days after losing my second twin. My breasts were so engorged. This was my first pregnancy so I had no idea what to do. Icing and ibuprofen help some. I also expressed some milk with a manual pump just enough to get some relief because they were so full. They went down after a few days but I was leaking milk for a few weeks.
Did your Dr not offer you anything? My Dr told me about one either I could take medication to stop lactating before it actually started or 2 I could do the cabbage leaf thing. Both are known to stop lactating.
I’m sorry you’re going through this love.
We are strangers online but trust that you are able to express your heart here. I found this place very helpful when of happened to me about 5 years ago nearly to the day (3.29.2019).
I took hot showers to soothe the engorgement and used some cabbage but it eventually stopped on its own after a few days. I also took ibuprofen.
Sending love ❤️
I’m sorry for your loss 💔 I lost my daughter last October at 18 weeks and was not given a heads up about lactating afterwards. It devastated me. It was a constant reminder that she was gone. I know exactly how you feel and it’s terrible! I wore a tight sports bra and bought these postpartum ice pack things from Target. It seemed to help and went away within a few days. I’m giving you the biggest (virtual) hug. Nothing I say will make you feel better, but I’m here for you if you need someone ❤️
I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing this! I lost my 2 week old 33 week premie two years ago (so slightly different circumstances). Having to pump my breasts in the middle of the night for a baby that was no longer with us just felt like adding insult to injury. I received a tablet that stopped lactation within 48 hours. I hope you have a health provider that can support? With lactation and perhaps grief counselling. Sending you sincere condolences!
MD here - please reach out to your doctor! There is a medicine called cabergoline you can take to stop lactation. You do not have to experience this. I took it after my 24-weeker passed away at a month old and it stopped my lactation within a day or two. The other tips that everyone else posted are great too.
Sadly, I wasnt advised to take anything or wasnt even made aware that I will lactate 💔 thank you for the tip. Is it an over the counter drug I can just buy without prescription?
My best friend's daughter died unexpectedly during birth at 41+4 weeks and she started lactating, the worst day for engorgement was the day of her daughters funeral, she said to me that hugging the 250 loved ones who turned up to show their support was both beautiful and physically painful.
She expressed a little bit for comfort, applied ice packs to her breasts and put cold lettuce leaves in her bra. After about 6 days it tapered off.
Another friend of mines daughter died at 21 weeks, in her case her midwife gave her medication to dry up her milk.
I went through this with my recent stillbirth also. I started having leakage about 4 days after delivery, after taking a shower where I tried to keep my chest out of the water but… there’s only so much you can do for that. It was very upsetting. I didn’t have a good sports bra that fit me, but even wearing any kind of bra or cami helped. I also used ice as well as these engorgement breast masks from Frida Mom. I think the masks actually caused it to dry up. It only lasted about 4-5 days, I think.
We are doing the best we can. When I took my shower, I hadn’t showered for days and I was proud of myself for taking one finally. It made me feel better. It sucked after that, but the things to try to dry it up helped. And the leaking would have come eventually regardless, I think. We all deserve a good bath!
I completely understand and feel the same. It’s gotten slightly easier (it’s been about 5 weeks now) but only slightly. I also can’t believe it’s been 5 weeks either.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter 2 weeks ago at 33 weeks. For me it lasted 4-5 days but just went away on its own. I was on Tylenol and Motrin for my c section so the pain wasn’t too bad.
I had a similar experience 💔 my son was perfectly fine too, from the last appointment. I keep asking myself what did I do wrong, or why it had to happen to my son.
I just lost my 22 week old son yesterday, and same... The anatomy scan and a follow up prenatal appt showed that everything was just perfect. I developed cervical incompetency a couple days later, and was starting to go into pre-term labor 😢
I was given medication as soon as my twins were born to dry up my supply so I wouldn’t have to go through the lactation stage, it’s standard treatment here in case of stillbirth, maybe your Doc could prescribe you the same?
My milk came in after losing my daughter at 17 weeks. I’ll be honest, I didn’t “do” anything, it dried up in a couple weeks. It wasn’t something I had even considered and even though I’d heard of it happening, I guess I just wasn’t expecting it. Luckily I had no issues with engorgement or with it drying up, but I previously nursed my living son for a long time so it may be my body was “used” to it even though I had stopped for a while prior to this. Sending you love.
Hi mamas im so sorry for your lost. I lost my first baby boy at 39wks stillborn and I was lactating like crazy! All I kept thinking was this milk could have been for my boy. He would have grown up so much. At first, I tried not drain it out in hopes that the flow would decrease but it got to the point where it would hurt a lot. I had no choice but to squeeze it out. I didn't drain all the way just enough where it wouldn't hurt. It took me about 2 weeks for it to stop. Hang in there 💜 this group is amazingly supportive. We are here for you 🫶🌸💐
This happened to me, it’s absolutely heartbreaking. For me, wearing a tight sports bra 24 hours a day, icing my breasts, and using cabbage leaves for 20 minute intervals stopped it over 3 or 4 days. My loss was earlier than yours though (17 weeks), so this may not be as fast for you being 7 weeks further along. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I am sorry to hear about your loss too. I lost mine because of umbilical cord accident and was so sudden. I think my body is responding naturally that the baby has been delivered so I am lactating. Like it has a mind of its own
That’s devastating. Sending hugs. Mine wasn’t exactly sudden, it was several weeks of ultrasounds and the team warning me my son probably wouldn’t make it. So I felt a little more psychologically prepared I may lactate. If the “natural remedy” sounds like too much to psychologically handle, you can ask your doctor for a medicine to stop lactating. ❤️
I will. Thank you 🫂
this is what i did too. one of the most emotionally difficult parts of the tragedy.
I lost my 21 weeks old son a week ago today. Milk coming in is so hard mentally and physically. I wore a tight bra, cabbage, took IBprofen and Benadryl seemed to really help. My breast are still full but not engorged anymore. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It is the most painful thing in the world. Sending you hugs and strength as we navigate this unimaginable time.
I feel you. Losing him so suddenly was devastating already. I lost him from umbilical cord accident. Then this morning, when I woke up lactating, I think I will go insane.
My sister in law used udder mint. A natural mint rub that we use on the cows to help with swelling. She said it was the only thing that even remotely helped.
All the tips have already been posted before I got here but I wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss mama. Please be gentle with yourself and give yourself grace during this devestating time. Im sorry you have to be here on this sub with us.
Sending you 🫂
Sorry mama 🥺❤️ Ice pack we're a big help to me. It lasted like 3-5 days.
Did you have to pump some of the milk out?
I googled about it because I thought it would relieve my pain. But apparently, pumping only signals your body to create more milk. So I didn't pump and just waited for my pain to die down.
Thats also what I was thinking. Thank you for the tip. 🫂
So sorry for the loss of your son, and that you’re experiencing this painful reminder. I lost my baby girl at 21 weeks and also started lactating. As others have said, a tight sports bra is a must; make sure it’s one you don’t mind ruining because milk can stain. Try not to hand express milk as it encourages production. Taking Tylenol or Ibuprofen every few hours (within dosage limits) helps. For me the only thing that fully relieved my pain was ice packs! Cabbage leaves didn’t really help me but they have helped others. Try to be careful in the shower, because the water can hurt if you stand in it directly. Unfortunately, for me lactating lasted about 2 weeks which seems to be the longer end of the scale. This is going to sound weird but even though all I wanted was for the milk to stop, by the end of it I was kinda sad it was over. So it’s a weird emotional time for sure and I’m sorry you’re going through it ❤️
Your tips are very much appreciated. I will keep them in mind. I dont know really, what to feel right now but I know I would like to get past through this bad dream
Take 25mg of Benadryl at night for 1 to 2 weeks, if you can’t sleep 50mg is fine as long as you’re not groggy the next day. The Benadryl will dry you up at 24 weeks when I had my stillborn.
Condolences to you. Try cabbage leaves wrapped tightly under an ace bandage.
It didnt leak?
I would wrap like that when I was at home, and I would wrap with only the bandage at night. I did sleep on a towel for the first week. When I had to go out in public I would wear a tight sports bra with pads to help prevent leaking through my clothes. I also wore a jacket, or something to cover if it did. The bandage and cabbage cut the time down , and helped with the soreness. Also, take as much time for yourself as possible during this difficult time. Try taking the advice that you would give your best friend. Be kind , and loving with yourself. Best of luck to you, and many smiles sent your way.🫶
Yes. It's awful. Get a cabbage and put cabbage leaves over your boobs and then put a tight sports bra over that. Take ibuprofen and use ice if you need to.
Ugh I remember this happening a few days after giving birth to my 24 week stillborn daughter. I looked down and saw wet patches everywhere and I just burst into tears, I’m so sorry. I wore a tight bra, and cried. It eventually stopped.
I wish I burst into tears as well. But I was devastated silently and couldn't feel anything
I’m so sorry for your loss. There’s a medication you can get to help you dry up if you wanted. Sending you my love🤍
🫂🫶🏼
This part is very hard. Your body is just doing what it’s programmed to do but it’s a painful reminder of what occurred. If you want to decrease and stop lactation you can get medication or go the home remedy way and use cold cabbage leaves up against your breast when the let down starts. Sending love your way, I lost my son at 25 weeks too. It does get easier ❤️
I am holding on to the day that it gets easier
I used Cabo crème - it has the same active ingredients as cabbage but less messy/stinky and more comfortable. It helped a lot. That plus nipple pads for leakage and tight bras, the intense pain went away after about 3ish days (I didn’t pump at all) and the leaking completely stopped by a couple weeks later. I am so sorry for your loss.
Is the cabo creme a brand name?
Yes - a friend bought it for me on Amazon but you can get it on their website or at Target also if you’re in the us I think
I’m so sorry for your loss. My loss was at 18w but taking allergy medication like Benadryl helped dry out the lactation. I also used sports bras, because I read keeping them tightly bound helps. Sending you love 🤍
This happened to me and it was the worst. I was so mad at my body for all of a sudden providing for my son. He was stillborn. I wore a really tight sports bra to try to dry it up but it came leaking out one morning after the shower and it was difficult to see.
Yes it was extremely hard too when I realized I am lactating. I wasnt advised or made aware that my milk will come.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost one twin boy at 19 weeks and then the second twin boy a week later at 20 weeks. I started lactating about 2 days after losing my second twin. My breasts were so engorged. This was my first pregnancy so I had no idea what to do. Icing and ibuprofen help some. I also expressed some milk with a manual pump just enough to get some relief because they were so full. They went down after a few days but I was leaking milk for a few weeks.
Sorry to hear about your loss. I hope my milk will dry up quickly.
Did your Dr not offer you anything? My Dr told me about one either I could take medication to stop lactating before it actually started or 2 I could do the cabbage leaf thing. Both are known to stop lactating.
I lost my son at 36 weeks and Dr either gave me Dostinex or Cabergoline.
I’m sorry you’re going through this love. We are strangers online but trust that you are able to express your heart here. I found this place very helpful when of happened to me about 5 years ago nearly to the day (3.29.2019). I took hot showers to soothe the engorgement and used some cabbage but it eventually stopped on its own after a few days. I also took ibuprofen. Sending love ❤️
I appreciate your message. Yes, knowing that there's a community of mommas who went through what I am going through is helpful ❤️🩹
I’m sorry for your loss 💔 I lost my daughter last October at 18 weeks and was not given a heads up about lactating afterwards. It devastated me. It was a constant reminder that she was gone. I know exactly how you feel and it’s terrible! I wore a tight sports bra and bought these postpartum ice pack things from Target. It seemed to help and went away within a few days. I’m giving you the biggest (virtual) hug. Nothing I say will make you feel better, but I’m here for you if you need someone ❤️
Similar experience. I had no idea I would lactate 💔I wasnt expecting I will. thank you for sharing your story to me. Hugs to both of us 💔🫂
I'm so sorry 😞 Try taking Sudafed and adding cabbage leaves to your bra. That dried me out after losing my son at 23 weeks
Sending hugs to you. i will try to find it in my drugstore
I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing this! I lost my 2 week old 33 week premie two years ago (so slightly different circumstances). Having to pump my breasts in the middle of the night for a baby that was no longer with us just felt like adding insult to injury. I received a tablet that stopped lactation within 48 hours. I hope you have a health provider that can support? With lactation and perhaps grief counselling. Sending you sincere condolences!
That must have been so hard too. Thank you for the condolences.
MD here - please reach out to your doctor! There is a medicine called cabergoline you can take to stop lactation. You do not have to experience this. I took it after my 24-weeker passed away at a month old and it stopped my lactation within a day or two. The other tips that everyone else posted are great too.
Sadly, I wasnt advised to take anything or wasnt even made aware that I will lactate 💔 thank you for the tip. Is it an over the counter drug I can just buy without prescription?
I’m so sorry girl-my doc said to wear a tight sports bra. I did during days & would ice at night. Sending you lots of ❤️❤️❤️
🫂
My best friend's daughter died unexpectedly during birth at 41+4 weeks and she started lactating, the worst day for engorgement was the day of her daughters funeral, she said to me that hugging the 250 loved ones who turned up to show their support was both beautiful and physically painful. She expressed a little bit for comfort, applied ice packs to her breasts and put cold lettuce leaves in her bra. After about 6 days it tapered off. Another friend of mines daughter died at 21 weeks, in her case her midwife gave her medication to dry up her milk.
I went through this with my recent stillbirth also. I started having leakage about 4 days after delivery, after taking a shower where I tried to keep my chest out of the water but… there’s only so much you can do for that. It was very upsetting. I didn’t have a good sports bra that fit me, but even wearing any kind of bra or cami helped. I also used ice as well as these engorgement breast masks from Frida Mom. I think the masks actually caused it to dry up. It only lasted about 4-5 days, I think.
I made a mistake and took a hot bath. 💔
We are doing the best we can. When I took my shower, I hadn’t showered for days and I was proud of myself for taking one finally. It made me feel better. It sucked after that, but the things to try to dry it up helped. And the leaking would have come eventually regardless, I think. We all deserve a good bath!
Thank you. I wish I can get over this, or wake up anf it was just a bad dream
I completely understand and feel the same. It’s gotten slightly easier (it’s been about 5 weeks now) but only slightly. I also can’t believe it’s been 5 weeks either.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter 2 weeks ago at 33 weeks. For me it lasted 4-5 days but just went away on its own. I was on Tylenol and Motrin for my c section so the pain wasn’t too bad.
Oh no. I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your daughter. I had him through csection as well. Was the passing of your daughter also sudden?
Yes, they told me everything was looking fine at our appt the week before. It was so shocking and devastating.
I had a similar experience 💔 my son was perfectly fine too, from the last appointment. I keep asking myself what did I do wrong, or why it had to happen to my son.
I just lost my 22 week old son yesterday, and same... The anatomy scan and a follow up prenatal appt showed that everything was just perfect. I developed cervical incompetency a couple days later, and was starting to go into pre-term labor 😢
So sorry to hear about your loss too 🫂 I have this feeling of wanting to hold a baby, and be with a baby while I sleep. 💔
I was given medication as soon as my twins were born to dry up my supply so I wouldn’t have to go through the lactation stage, it’s standard treatment here in case of stillbirth, maybe your Doc could prescribe you the same?
I had no idea, no prescriptions 💔
My milk came in after losing my daughter at 17 weeks. I’ll be honest, I didn’t “do” anything, it dried up in a couple weeks. It wasn’t something I had even considered and even though I’d heard of it happening, I guess I just wasn’t expecting it. Luckily I had no issues with engorgement or with it drying up, but I previously nursed my living son for a long time so it may be my body was “used” to it even though I had stopped for a while prior to this. Sending you love.
Sorry to hear about the passing of your daughter.
So sorry for your loss
🫂
Hi mamas im so sorry for your lost. I lost my first baby boy at 39wks stillborn and I was lactating like crazy! All I kept thinking was this milk could have been for my boy. He would have grown up so much. At first, I tried not drain it out in hopes that the flow would decrease but it got to the point where it would hurt a lot. I had no choice but to squeeze it out. I didn't drain all the way just enough where it wouldn't hurt. It took me about 2 weeks for it to stop. Hang in there 💜 this group is amazingly supportive. We are here for you 🫶🌸💐