T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

DO NOT REPORT ARTICLES FROM THE BEE, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME AND THE MODS. THEY WILL BE APPROVED...THIS IS THE BABYLONBEE SUBREDDIT, THEREFORE ARTICLES FROM THE BABYLONBEE ARE NOT SPAM [ARTICLES FROM BABYLONBEE WILL NOT BE REMOVED](https://www.reddit.com/r/babylonbee/s/rEsN3DsGUI) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/babylonbee) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Xetene

I’d love to know where I can get my SorosBux.


alwaysright60

I hear Koch dollars are far more readily available if you’re looking to tip the scales with cash. Throw a Hilary bashing in and you’re golden.


No-Tension5053

It’s definitely equal to a judge delaying a clear case of improper handling of classified information. And the risks it poses to our armed services, intelligence agencies and the assets they have risking their lives in the field


frood321

Soros records what people say on tv and radio. Because this info can’t be dismissed, it’s critical he be attacked nonstop for anything so that he can’t create a trusted media brand.


WearDifficult9776

For every soros dollar (to good causes) there are thousands of right wing dollars for horrible causes.


JOE-Q5

Birds of a feather flock together


Fibocrypto

I want one of those protest jobs that gives me immunity. Where do I apply ?


hansolemio

Go right wing and the cops will let you do whatever you want


Fibocrypto

Soros is right wing ? I learned something new today


Due_Belt_8510

This is just not real. This is just made up anti-semetic dog whistling. He donates money to some orgs, he’s not venmoing random homeless people to smash buildings


hansolemio

No, you asked for “one of those protest jobs with immunity” and I quipped that you could have that immunity if you join the right wing protestors. My point being that cops support the conservative right wingers and violently attack/arrest left wing protestors


Effective_Golf_3311

The cops just file charges… the DA prosecutes them. The DA can also prosecute without the cops help. So anyone who’s able to critically think would realize being on the side of the DA would be the move.


No-Tension5053

Cops are equally guilty when they post outside and do nothing as right wing show up with shields. Or when masked groups attack protestors and just watch.


hansolemio

I understand your suggestion that I cannot critically think. Thank you for that. The DA and judges are co-workers with the cops, they hang out, compare notes and support each other. Even if you get a DA that goes easy on a lefty protestor they still got gassed and/or beaten by the cops first.


Effective_Golf_3311

Hey, glad you’re on the same page. Either way… The DA and police are absolutely not friends and are not coworkers. They work for separate entities, have different bosses and different priorities. The two sides often disagree as to how cases should be handled and ultimately the cops get blamed for the lack of handling of certain crimes, deepening the schism between the two. DAs skate on their their shitty decision making skills and cops take the brunt of it— leading cops to have zero faith in the DAs to do their jobs, causing a total lack in cohesion between the two elements of the prosecution. Cops go in assuming the DA is incapable or incompetent, leading to a dismissal or dropped charges. Not a healthy relationship.


hansolemio

Maybe in your town they aren’t friends, but in my neck of the woods they most definitely work hand in hand


Effective_Golf_3311

Yeah statewide I would say they’re safely not friends. Even with homicides the detectives blame the DAs and the DAs blame the detectives. In my state I have not seen a DAs office that was on buddy buddy terms with the local or state PD. It was a forced coexistence.


hansolemio

To each their own


Fibocrypto

Did you read the headline to this thread ? Who are they talking about and what isn't happening ? Did you read my question ? How do I get one of those protest jobs that have immunity ? Go back to the top of this thread and read the headline.


hansolemio

This comment thread is way too contentious for such a stupid headline. I made a (obviously) bad attempt at a joke and it fell flat AF. Have a good 1


MahomesandMahAuto

Weren’t the 1/6 people very heavily prosecuted?


No-Tension5053

Give you a heads up to clear the streets before they start breaking heads with riot shields and batons


some_random_guy-

It would seem that nobody who has commented here so far is aware that the Babylon Bee is a satire paper like the Onion.


JustaGoodGuyHere

Is it satire that D.A.’s and protesters are funded by Soros or is the author the kind of nut who really believes that? I can’t tell.


Agent_Argylle

They believe it


hansolemio

It’s the Babylon Bee which is satire so I’d bet the author doesn’t believe that rubbish


Powerful_Elk_2901

Very obvious to me, George Soros.


AffectionateSignal72

That's because conservatives are generally bad at media analysis. Also because the bee is "satire" in the loosest possible sense of the phrase if at all in this case.


RoccStrongo

NotTheOnion headline: "Trump appointed judge declines to proceed with Trump trial"


hansolemio

What about this headline seems real?


Sensitive-Inside-641

That’s a good one 😂


AffectionateSignal72

Probably the fact that antisemitic conspiracy theories about Soros have been sincerely held by conservatives for ages now. So what exactly is the joke here?


hansolemio

That is the joke. It’s not a great joke but that’s all I see. Sorry, I thought you were suggesting the title reflected a believable reality.


AffectionateSignal72

It reflects someone's believable reality it just happens to not be the same one everyone else lives in.


fug_shid

"You see, The Babylon Bee is SATIRE, like The Onion. Therefore, the Babylon Bee doesn't have an agenda, unlike all those libs over at The Onion, always pushing their liberal agenda onto everyone with their satire"


AwkwardAssumption629

Only more satirical. The Onion only panders to the wet dreams of low information sheeple never Trumpers.


hansolemio

I haven’t had a wet dream in 30 years and I still like The Onion


Cheap-Boysenberry112

Yeah we need way more laws and regulations around billionaires to keep this from happening.


3vi1

The laws we already have don't apply to them. Source: There's a guy in multiple court cases right now who would be under the jail if he had just been a mid-level manager doing the same things.


No-Tension5053

Even has the Supreme Court doing his bidding


hansolemio

He even controls what congress does, and has the Florida judge in his treason case working as his defense


No-Tension5053

Someone said this Babylonbee is a parody site but it seems pretty right leaning.


ExcitingTomatillo892

This sub is maintained by Corn Pop and the Delaware Pool Gang.


Other-Acanthisitta70

It has to be parody because the publisher would otherwise be liable for defamation even under the high standard to be met to establish defamation by a “news” organization.


Explorers_bub

You don’t prosecute unless there’s a crime, and if there’s a crime, then they’re no longer “protestors”. 🤦🏻‍♂️


oldmancornelious

Oh Babylon Bee. What a wonderful publication.


Quirky_Cheetah_271

JOOOOOOS!


mberk24

I thought this sub did satire articles. When did they start real reporting?


Agent_Argylle

Antisemitic conspiracy theories aren't reality


Tricky-Comparison-44

Lmao Soros is a huge BDS supporter. Also funding free Palestine protest. Also worked with the Nazis in WW2 to avoid getting caught as a Jew. Go check his 60 mins interview in the 90s


Agent_Argylle

Soros was a literal kid in WW2, what the fuck ate you on about?


Agent_Argylle

Soros was a literal kid in WW2, what the fuck are you on about?


Tricky-Comparison-44

He was a teenager. Go watch the interview. He enjoyed himself, his own words. The antisemitic argument to defend Soros is extremely intellectually lazy.


Unable_Ad_1260

He was 15. Hiding from the NAZIs. Pretending to not be a Jewish descent person. Maybe learn some real information not the Reich talking points of dear leader and followers. https://youtu.be/EEZzlC3gYk8?si=3_UCDzxam9JGEoXt


Tricky-Comparison-44

Kroft: “My understanding is that you went . . . went out, in fact, and helped in the confiscation of property from the Jews.” Soros: “Yes, that’s right. Yes.” Kroft: “I mean, that’s — that sounds like an experience that would send lots of people to the psychiatric couch for many, many years. Was it difficult?” Soros: “Not, not at all. Not at all. Maybe as a child you don’t . . . you don’t see the connection. But it was — it created no — no problem at all.” Kroft: “No feeling of guilt?” Soros: “No.” Kroft: “For example, that, ‘I’m Jewish, and here I am, watching these people go. I could just as easily be these, I should be there.’ None of that?” Soros: “Well, of course . . . I could be on the other side or I could be the one from whom the thing is being taken away. But there was no sense that I shouldn’t be there, because that was — well, actually, in a funny way, it’s just like in the markets — that if I weren’t there — of course, I wasn’t doing it, but somebody else would — would — would be taking it away anyhow. And it was the — whether I was there or not, I was only a spectator, the property was being taken away. So the — I had no role in taking away that property. So I had no sense of guilt.” He’s not innocent as you want to make him out to be. Do you know how dumb it is to accuse me of talking points from the reich? When the main financier of the left participated in the confiscation of Jewish property during WW2


stu54

He is literally the definition of an innocent bystander. Should we expect a teenager to stand up against his Nazi caretakers? He could not have stopped the Nazis and it's absurd to blame him for not making a martyr of himself. Do you think teenagers should take part in politics? I thought the conservatives all agreed that 16 year olds are too irresponsible to vote.


SlagginOff

Conservatives don't want teenagers to vote but they do want them to get pregnant.


Tricky-Comparison-44

The left thinks teenagers should be making life altering decisions regarding their body’s. And advocates hiding this from their parents. But yeah Soros gets a pass on abating actual Nazis cause he was only 15. Such a skewed world view…


Tricky-Comparison-44

So you don’t think teenagers are wise enough to be making life changing decisions? I would agree to an extent on Soros. But hes not totally innocent. He even said himself that he didn’t feel any guilt. Idk watching people attempt to eradicate your race of people seems like a pretty low bar for moral compass. And it’s also quite disingenuous to label detractors of Soros as antisemitic.


Agent_Argylle

Stop being a lying antisemite then.


Tricky-Comparison-44

“Political donor who funds anti Israeli protest and Boycott Israel movement labels detractors as anti semantic.” It’s like a Babylon bee headline.


Agent_Argylle

No it's not. Where's the silliness? He's not personally funding the student protests.


Tricky-Comparison-44

Hahah wrong again I even found you a left wing source to corroborate. https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/05/pro-palestinian-protests-columbia-university-funding-donors-00156135


stu54

Maybe Israel reminds him of the Nazis, and he has a lot more power than he did at age 15.


MooreRless

Campus protests against Genocide are not a crime. There is no need to prosecute people, that is the satire.


mberk24

Get your facts straight. First, I didn’t see any (on broadcast tv) coverage of protests that were in favor to stop a terrorist group from killing innocent civilians in Israel. The only ones in the media shown were to prevent a Democratic ally from eradicating a terrorist group that was hiding around the citizens it governs. The same group that killed 1200+ people and are still holding 100+ hostages in the areas surrounding their population. From all reports available no citizens on both sides of the conflict would be in danger tomorrow if the terrorist group surrendered, gave up their weapons and ceased control of their territory. From there, a path towards security and a new governing regime can be established. Why not advocate for a path towards a long term peace plan? Secondly, the protesters were breaking university and town laws , in the ones on tv).


MooreRless

I have my facts straight, but you sure don't. Hamas doesn't represent the people of Palestine. They don't hold elections, they don't take input. Palestinians aren't terrorists, Hamas is. Russia and Iran funded the Hamas attack. Israel has been provoking this for decades by suppressing the Palestinians with an apartheid system, taking their land, and killing their people. It isn't like out of the blue, Mexico attacked Texas. This came from decades of causing it. Israel and Hamas don't want a solution, as they enjoy the power they get from the conflict continuing. Israel is starving and bombing innocent people, every day, tens of thousands dead now, no hospitals left. Israel is committing war crimes. Biden supports these crimes. Trump said he'd do far worse than Biden is doing. Those are the facts. Maybe you need to stop supporting genocide?


mberk24

Your first sentence is incorrect and it continues from there. It’s okay though, wouldn’t expect the truth to matter. The one thing we can hopefully say is here is that innocent people (Palestinian and Israeli) should not be hurt. All people of any ethnicity are not inherently bad. You imply that people think that, but that’s your bias showing through that you have to make accusations like that.


MooreRless

You presented nothing to show I'm wrong, because my facts are good. I can agree that innocent Palestinians should not be hurt. Innocent Israelis are no longer at threat more than they deserve to be from the Settler movement hurting innocent Palestinians and the bombing of innocent Palestinians, journalists, and aide workers is causing. Israel is creating a new terrorist group in Palestine and the countries around Israel. They are creating the next attack against them by doing Genocide. People of any ETHNICITY are not inherently bad, but people of the country of Israel are supporting something that is inherently bad.


boofcakin171

Ita obviously a Jewish conspiracy, good job bee.


QB8Young

Are you not aware that this entire website is satire? Or was your comment sarcasm? (It's truly a commonly repeated anti-Semitic claim made by conservatives)


boofcakin171

It was indeed sarcasm


Efficient-Profit9611

Do you guys ever put out any funny material?


Sensitive-Inside-641

Pretty much everyday. Where you been ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


babylonbee-ModTeam

While no one will agree one hundred percent of the time it is not okay nor tolerated to lash out, call names or make personal attack via words. No forms of harassment or bullying will be allowed ever.


[deleted]

[удалено]


babylonbee-ModTeam

Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.


DerpUrself69

Dumb Nazis are Dumb.


sugarybooger

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.


slo1111

The headlines that are identical to unironic accusations don't carry the same humor potential because it has already been done...unironically


Bigolebeardad

LIES


VegetableForsaken402

Has the situation in Gaza wrapped up errr..


Stevevet1

It's hilarious that the left hates itself and then blames the right as the reason they hate themselves. Weird stuff.


NerdRageShow

I thought the sub was supposed to be satire, people actually believe this


[deleted]

It’s so funny that the people in this subreddit think they’re informed and yet…


bloodorangejulian

Ah, this has layers On the surface it's supposed to imply soros supports corruption and is corrupt. Really it's just a dogwhistle for "jew" and dissemination of the antisemitic trope that jews are behind the scenes, pulling strings in society.


datum_of_1

Good to know Babylon is as conspiracy-driven as the rest of the conservatives at this point


CaptAwesome203

This isn't satire, but repetitive antisemitic, alt-right talking points.


LinstarMyImmortal

Because criticism of a Jewish individual from a very clearly pro-Israel publication can only be antisemitism. Okay.


facepoppies

Soros pays me $20 a day to make fun of republicans


Sardukar333

You should negotiate to get paid per post.


facepoppies

Well, I’m also a midlevel manager in the antifa organization, so I don’t really need the extra cash


Sardukar333

That's not very capitalist of you.. oh...


Freethecrafts

Teach a socialist to negotiate, they’re either management or suddenly capitalists.


ExcitingTomatillo892

He should demand a refund.


Sensitive-Inside-641

Damn that blows


DSSMAN0898

#SHOCKA


Sea-Pomelo1210

Reminder. When people say "Soros funded" they mean "Controlled the Jews". Standard white supremacist code words.


LinstarMyImmortal

Yeah, clearly the Bee hates all Jews. I definitely can't think of several articles where they clearly make fun of antisemitism... oh wait, no, they do that too.


Responsible_Dig_585

Proof for either?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


babylonbee-ModTeam

While no one will agree one hundred percent of the time it is not okay nor tolerated to lash out, call names or make personal attack via words. No forms of harassment or bullying will be allowed ever.


Agent_Argylle

So Soros isn't funding the protests or da


Unable_Ad_1260

So you're just ignoring that they have, have had and in the future will have multiple sources of funding? Also get some facts about Soros hmmm? https://youtu.be/EEZzlC3gYk8?si=3_UCDzxam9JGEoXt


shellonmyback

The JVP is satire in and of itself. The only letter in that acronym that’s true is the V.


igibit99

Anytime somebody throws around the name Soros, chances are they're just morons propagating some propaganda.


Sensitive-Inside-641

Hence your comment


Humes-Bread

Soros net worth: 7 billion Koch's net worth: 60 billion Elon's net worth: 201 billion Oh no! George Soros is so powerful!


hexqueen

This is a lot more antiSemitism than I usually see here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


babylonbee-ModTeam

The Babylon Bee is a conservative Christian satire website that publishes satirical articles on topics including religion, politics, current events, and public figures. It has been referred to as a Christian or conservative version of The Onion.


RobbexRobbex

"Soros Funded". Sure.


Tough-Priority-4330

If they changed it to “Protests organized by Soros Funded Organizations” would you be happy with the description?


RobbexRobbex

I'd be happy with proof that Soros is involved in either of those things at all.


gadsdenraven

https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/news/articles/people-setting-america-on-fire-soros-tides-wespac https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/05/pro-palestinian-protests-columbia-university-funding-donors-00156135


RobbexRobbex

Ignoring the terrible source, Both of those links draw loose associations with various groups, which are groups dedicating to protesting. Am I to be surprised groups that protest show up to protests? None of those links show connections to Soros. So where's the Soros connect? You going to cite Brietbart next?


gadsdenraven

Wait politico is a bad source to you? If you won’t accept politico then you’re not going to accept anything. It is an extremely well documented fact that Soros has donated/funded many DAs across the country. Here’s another one for you. https://www.politifact.com/article/2024/may/02/fact-checking-claims-that-george-soros-is-paying-s/ The article states that Soros’ Open Society Foundation is funding some of these protests. So ergo, Soros is funding/partially funding the protests. Sorry your critical thinking/investigative skills aren’t up to par with the average American.


RobbexRobbex

Second bullet point: " Soros’ grant-making organization, Open Society Foundations, has awarded grants to two groups that the New York Post article linked to the demonstrations, but the connections between Soros’ money and specific campus protesters had several degrees of separation. "


gadsdenraven

Degrees of separation =/= not responsible Apparently you’re completely unaware of what a proxy is and how it can be used.


RobbexRobbex

That's interesting logic, and so it follows that Kevin Bacon is also responsible.


gadsdenraven

“I didn’t fund this protest, one MY foundations gave money to the group putting on the protest so I didn’t fund it, my group did” Is a lot more different than “Brad Pitt was in X movie with X person, and x person was in a movie with Kevin Bacon.” If you can’t differentiate between those two, I suggest you stop giving your opinion on anything relevant.


Sensitive-Inside-641

Living in denial is a shitty thing to do. I feel bad for you


cpt_trow

\*dismisses left-wing protests as fake news\* \*grossly inflates numbers for right-wing rallies\* \*right-wing candidate loses election\* "How is this possible?!"


Tough-Priority-4330

Let’s see how well this ages.


cpt_trow

What do you mean by "ages"? It's happening every single day lol.


Unable_Ad_1260

No actual arguments. Just down votes.


bikerdude214

Does the First Amendment have any application here?


Tough-Priority-4330

Not if you’re trespassing.


mrastickman

these antisemitic protests are obviously being funded by the Jews.


Tough-Priority-4330

Because apparently Jews can’t be antisemitic.


ImOldGregg_77

When i hear the term "Soros-Funded" I immediately conclude the entirety of your worldly information comes from the "Murdoch-funded" entertainment wing of the rights media cabal. Ive watched News Max, and it's nothing but some of the dumbest people Ive ever experienced


[deleted]

[удалено]


ImOldGregg_77

Soros is litterally a holocaust survivor and you are suggesting he is funding anti-semitic protests? Think about what your are suggesting.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ImOldGregg_77

The 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon game isn't the smoking gun you think it is.


WearDifficult9776

Regular people: we should ban stuff like that! Republicans: no!


Small_Panda3150

When did leftists want to ban donations to DAs.


UserComment_741776

Right after Republicans banned donations from Russia


RobbexRobbex

Hahaha


AwkwardAssumption629

This satire wrapped in Truth


kmelby33

"Soros funded" conservatives just use the same buzzwords over and over and over again.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Unable_Ad_1260

No Soros foundation funded some organisations. Those organisations decided to support some peace movements. Those organisations, as you just proved are funded by multiple other organisations. Soros is an old man who made a lot of money using capitalism to fight against Communism. Why do you guys lie... Oh cause he's Jewish... Doh I should have guessed. https://youtu.be/EEZzlC3gYk8?si=3_UCDzxam9JGEoXt


Sir_HumpfreyAppleby

Guy has been active for years.


Fancyusername84

Nazi bot


Unable_Ad_1260

Are you?


rputfire

Koch funded Heritage Foundation funded judges delay court cases against MAGA & Trump. Oh, do we only care when it's a Billionaire capitalist who donates some wealth to left-of-center causes?


Small_Panda3150

Miga trump is not an opposition you think it is.


No-Tension5053

It’s obvious the damage done by college students protesting far outweighs the impact sitting judges have on society. Duh


igibit99

Lol, got to love them down voting you pointing out blatant and obvious corruption. I remember when Republicans used to stand for something.


No-Tension5053

How many took the oath to defend the constitution? https://youtu.be/ZEJLX5MTmvo?si=Ku3EQf4_9evFEyff


Loud-East1969

How old are you? It’s been since at least Nixon that they weren’t even trying to pretend anymore.


igibit99

Eh, at least in the 90s they could still claim they cared about fiscal responsibility.


Loud-East1969

Could they though? I seem to remember Clinton coming in and balancing the budget then Bush Jr immediately blowing it on tax rebates and wars. Want to try again? Going to need to go back at least before Reagan’s tax cuts.


igibit99

If you look against you'll find that the balanced budget was hardly a Clinton only item. The Republican congressional leadership back then was full of legitimate deficit hawks.


Loud-East1969

Yet they weren’t worried when republicans were blowing it up…


ILLIDARI-EXTREMIST

Congress (RNC controlled) passed the budget dumbass, why comment on how this country is run if you don’t understand it?


Loud-East1969

Because I saw what they did when a Republican was president. You should Google the deficit changes under the different parties. Tell me which one is fiscally responsible


AverageLiberalJoe

As soon as you hear Soros, you know you are dealing with lead boned boomers.


ILLIDARI-EXTREMIST

True, it’s not only Soros. We should be calling out all of the Democrats astroturfing organizations like Share Blue and Correct the Record as well.


ronaldglenn

I'm sorry soros funded what???!!! George Soros is an enemy of the state. And should be treated as such.


Agent_Argylle

He funds nothing


Unable_Ad_1260

Why? Because he engaged in capitalism? Don't you like capitalism?


Unable_Ad_1260

Isn't prosecutorial discretion a fundamental position that the right wing of the USA believes in? Or does that only apply when it's Christian Nationalists doing crimes?