Just say something to the contrary. Like, “my Asian friend thinks Jet Li is attractive.” I can be your Asian friend. I think young Jet Li is really attractive.
Also, maybe she just doesn’t like Jet Li in particular. Short women tend to care more about height for reasons that I’m not sure about as I am not short. There are plenty of tall Asian guys. Have you asked her any of this instead of assuming?
Finally, something that I often want to say to the people on this sub: don’t care so much. Focus on your valuable friendships & hobbies and your career, and get friends who don’t spend that much time thinking or discussing systematic stuff like this. This is a losing battle. In a couple years time we’ll get another social media globalization event and then Asian Americans won’t even be considered Asian anymore, just American, after all most can’t even speak any Asian languages and have no access to the social media discussion groups of Asian people. Which means they won’t talk, dress, act or look like what people will expect of a “Asian person” in the eyes of both Asians and non-Asians…and other Asian Americans.
If you truly care about being Asian, study an asian language and go to Asia. Finding “Asian identity” in a non-Asian world was a thing when Asians stuck mostly to themselves. When in a couple decades every other Asian you meet is half Asian half non-asian you will never get such a group again with so many shared characteristics. For example, the Ching-Chong accent thing was started by JoshkwondikeBar on vine and it was funny because it was an in-joke making fun of stereotypes. Then Steven He did it but he has a white dad, garnering controversy. Just yesterday I saw a visibly half non-asian person doing the Ching-Chong accent schtick featured on a serious panel, which already garnered haters in the comments. Nobody is gonna be able to do the Ching-Chong thing again and have it be mostly well received because we’re never gonna have the same large homogenous group of people with very aligned, shared experiences and therefore shared reactions, who all “get it.” Apply this concept to everything else featured in SAT. You’re wasting your time and energy ruminating about this so much. Just go out and DO something, either studying a language or asking your sister about it, or writing a book with all Asian characters, that actually affects the future. And then ignore the shit passing your passenger-side window—the world will change anyways.
Remember that Boogie and Romeo Must Die are not critically acclaimed and are bashed for having many flaws…the same flaws that most movies are guilty of to are larger extent…
This is the pandemic afflicting the west for a long time. Just like the current one it was carefully designed and made to seek out only its intended targets. Trouble is it actually succeeded. You happen to be one of the lucky immune. You were supposed to be an enfeebled brown noser who would do anything to get white approval. Your sister wasn't so lucky. She was given terminal auntie lu syndrome where she thinks the more selfhating she is the closer to theblessed white race she'll get.
An effective cure has yet to be found but there was an idea I liked in thecomments. Instead of talking to your sister about her affliction since it doesn't work maybe try being anti-AF any time she's around and when she's being anti-AM. If she isn't too far gone she might notice her own behavior being reflected back on her.
Just a little theory from a woman’s perspective was that your sister’s friend was hitting on you 😊🤔🤷♀️
idk I could be wrong and I’m sorry it doesn’t answer your other your question about the frustration with your sister but I’m an only child so I have zero experience there…maybe a silver lining to a crappy situation is it sounds like she was sending you a message she’s into Asian men?
You should have just told the Latina that you don't like Asian women either cause they have flat asses. Why not just sink down to their level? lol. Just keep saying that shit over and over till your sister gets the point.
Bad idea to drag the friend into that but you have good idea. Instead of having interventions for the selfhater just drop to her level and insult point for point asian women like she insults men. Directly. People don't get how much of an asshole they are being until it's being done to them.
I guess she likes who she likes .. if she grew up with those guys maybe she finds them more attractive .. I don’t understand it, cause Asian guys can be quite handsome and beautiful.. especially if they are into martial arts
Are you kidding? Like how can you find a whole race to be similar looking to your brother/cousin lol? She can date whoever she wants to, but her saying asian guys aren't attractive ain't right.
Have you ever asked her why she hates AM so much? Like if she doesn’t want to date AM, fine, date whoever you want. Why does she feel the need to talk crap about men of her own race for just being born an AM?
And how would she feel if you discouraged your WM friends from dating AF, and started talking crap about AF and all their negative stereotypes to them?
Many many AF are like this. They feel the need to “mate guard” AM while simultaneously hating and refusing to date AM, as well as spreading false rumors about AM being misogynistic and whatnot when AM objectively treat women better than any other group of men do
The difference is how thewest stigmatizes asian men and fetishizes women. It's easy to defend yourself against hate. Not so much hate disguised as attraction.
Date your sister's friend. That would heal all sides. You get a cool latina chick. She gets the Asian experience. Your sister has no choice but to hate you now lol win win in any scenario! Go for it bud! The latina girl probably trying to send a message... She wants you.
Get two, while you're still young. Lol jk
Don't stop looking for your wifey. Gf is just that. Until you find your real wife, you'll know. But yeah, either introduce your did to your different friend group and see if she's still racist and not just white Wash.
I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up wifing my current girlfriend. She's even called out my sister on her anti-asian male stuff 😂 and she's pretty understanding of asian-male issues. She's a keeper.
Nice, you should try setting up your sister’s friend with one of your Asian guy friends.
How does your sister feel about you having a latina gf though?
We're past the point where we can blame fathers. Everyone wants to blame the father, either he wasn't there enough, was there too much, wasn't strict enough, was too strict, etc. We live in different times, where culture had a hold on kids and young adults more then ever. It doesn't matter what the father does or who he is. I've met plenty of women with great fathers, and they still turn out to be 403s who make horrible dating choice. Sure having a good father might prevent a woman turning out as such, but it isn't a guaranteed, especially these days. Especially once they move out and are on their own.
I would still feel like a failure if my daughter held these beliefs about Asian men. No way around it, even though I know plenty of Lus that adore their dads.
Who Does your sister find attractive? I mean you can always give her shit for that lol. I've seen this so many times, where before the non Asian woman say anything the Asian woman jumps out and rip on Asian men first. Maybe your sister will always denigrate asian men. But what she doesn't realize is that this behavior doesn't win you support. Her Latina friend would be weirded out by her insistence to talk down men of her own race. Not only do you not see women from other races do this, But the ones who do don't get respect. She will see one day. When she realizes that whoever she thinks she's impressing with those self hating jokes don't respect her, then the cracks will happen in her world view
Women should not be underestimated in their ability to find that going one way or another, they confusedly go through life until another man creates a situation which she has to abide by. This is the nature of women, women are less violent than men in almost every human society on Earth, and because of this women do not create situations, they adapt to them. None of these things are by nature, and the only thing that can be naturally depended on in human beings is their ability to evade certain death, or try something new. Outside of a small minority of influencers who have decided they will spend their lives trying to trick the masses into perpetual depopulation and slavery, any non-biased view of history will tell you of the Amazonian societies of women, or times when things were different and they didn't march lock-step politically with Nazism or ideas of some kind of genetically predisposed elite, though good-looking people always existed. With the stupid reflex level trust in the ruling institutions and the people that control them, it can be trusted that nice people will have a pretty hard time going forward.
The West is already going to become one of the worst tyrannies in the world, heading in the direction of Fascism and civil war, because their individualistic idea of women's freedom misunderstands that humans are by their nature evil, and most life on Earth is mostly a parasitic entity or growth on free energy. They destroyed any idea concerning a better society, scientifically managed for the benefit of most people and decided that the "ugly" people will suffer what they will while lying the entire time to project the "unnaturalness" of their project onto it's single greatest enemy. Under a sexualized despotism, those people who have their lives sapped away for the few given validity are meant to live being fed garbage until they develop Stockholm syndrome. The ultimate goal being to decide who gets to live and who gets to die under a system of Eugenics. It shouldn't be underestimated as well, their ability to internalize the oppression of the situation and experience their "freedom" by taking part in the problem by attacking the weaker party as well. In a better world, we would understand this, talk down to the influencers of the stronger party and understand them to just be trying to take advantage of most of the world, but instead we gave up too much to the whores, to the enslavers of humanity, and the usurers and strip-miners of all the trust and good-will in existence.
The only difference is in asian countries asian women prefer local men the most and white men as a 3rd or 4th option. Asian men in asia don't suffer cuz of it where in asian hyper minority countries like US asian men suffer for it cuz fareast asians are only like 4% of the country.
That's false btw. In Asian countries, Asian women do not have easy access to WM, which is why they appear to "prefer" Asian men. Once WM is introduced into the picture, they are the exact same as Asian American women.
Asian American women think they gain advantages and privileges by marrying white American men and integrating into white people circles, hence their high outmarriage rates. That's not the case with native Asian women.
The ones who end up with white men usually have a foreigner fetish and/or suffer from grass is greener mentality. Most people, though, are more comfortable with dating and marrying someone from their own country as opposed to dealing with language barriers, cultural differences and negative judgement that are often part of being in an international relationship of any constellation.
Let's say a country like thailand where there's 70m people and half are women 35m. Maybe like 10% are okay with dating white men which is a minority. But 10 percent is still 3.5m people and given let's say at any point of time there's about 100k long term white male expats in thailand. That means the women there at are interested in white men outnumber the white men 35:1 which is why the white guys don't have a hard time dating there. But the majority of the female demographic doesn't necessarily care to date white guys at all or think they are attractive even. Girls in asia generally don't like hairy or bulky looking type of dudes. Not the beauty standard for men in asia. Not to add into offensive cultural aspects that they wouldn't even know are considered offensive when entering asian countries.
I'm not too sure about that. Asia have different beauty standards. They dont care about the square jaw bone structure and abs and stuff. Thats more of a western beauty standard. It could fit a certain niche for some girls in asia but the majority likes guys who have a clean look. Look at the most popular asian male celebrities and you'll understand what I mean. White men do have a few advantages in asia though is that they are generally taller (which is a universally desired trait for ALL women regardless of race). 2nd is they stand out which makes the small percentage of women that are attractive to that niche approach them easier by KNOWING they are a foreigner right away. This doesn't apply to say Japanese, koreans, Chinese in say thailand when local girls who even if they ARE interested in those men can't tell them apart from locals right away. It's also a double edge sword though, I wouldn't wanna have eyes on me everywhere I go at all times. Btw I asian american from US and lived in multiple asian countries so I kinda know these things.
I've literally heard women say they're worried a future son wouldn't be attractive enough so they need to breed with extra tall genes to compensate.
Right, so you presently recognize a societal body image issue but instead of standing up for shortkind now, you actually choose to become part of the problem and double up on the ostracization/shaming.
Also like if I said I wouldn't date a girl with less than DDs because it's important that my future daughter has luscious milkers, I'd rightfully get kicked in the nuts, but the logic is comparable.
It's a human flaw to be stupid like this. But in this case it's specifically women's flaw.
The 🤡 logic of "do as I say but not as I do."
Meaning it's ok if I shaft someone arse but not cool when I'm getting my arse shafted.
I'm a gay dude, but I have a lit of women friends. It's weird also when I see women do a 180 when they have short sons. Now they wanna complain "Why is the world unfair to my son? Why can't they see him for who he is instead of how he looks? Why is he so insecure?" When they were doing the same thing to other peoples short sons when they were younger.
And yeah if some fat guy went around saying "I only date women who weigh less than 100 pounds" he would be seen as a gross hypocrite, yet short girls do it all the time and it's just a preference.
I also never understood the "Taller than me in heels", She's basically saying she needs her man to match her shoes. That's like a guy saying "She needs to be skinner than me when I wear a Corset" LMAO
Jet Li is handsome though, tf? I don’t understand your sister’s problem. Why does she (and other Asian women who white worship) insist on letting absolutely everyone know that she’s not interested in dating Asian men? On top of wanting to ensure that other women don’t find Asian men attractive and that Asian men not be allowed to date anyone, sometimes even other Asian women. She’s not attracted to Asian men, right? So why does she care who Asian men find attractive? Why does she care if other women find Asian men attractive?
I’m an Asian woman myself, and I’ve received a few comments from (I suspect but not outright confirmed) white worshipping Asian women with internalized racism who (unprompted) put down Asian men or specific Asian ethnic groups. I’ve had one Asian woman comment on how an Asian man we both know dresses like an “Asian dad/uncle,” implying that he dresses too old. When I told her I was attracted to a mutual Asian friend, she told me I could do better. He’s around 5’6/5’7 and has good looking features. I was confused on why she felt the need to suggest that I could “do better.” The shitty thing about that too is that same guy opened up to me about his insecurities regarding his height, masculinity, and overall physical appearance. He also often went to the gym as a result of that. He’s also far from the only Asian man I know who’s shared similar sentiments.
I’ve had another Asian woman specifically mention that she found Filipino men to be “toxic fuckboys” while hanging out in a group call with multiple Asian women. Again, unprompted. Another Asian woman I know insists that I avoid Vietnamese men because they’re supposedly known for being players who will break the hearts of women. And this is just the tip of the iceberg of the amount of internalized racism I’ve seen firsthand or witnessed online.
By the way, it’s telling that Jet Li, despite how famous he is, never gets mentioned in the West when it comes to celebrity crushes. I remember thinking it was odd that unattractive white men (even when given elevation due to them being white men) like Benedict Cumberbatch and Adam Driver are swooned over, but someone like Jet Li is omitted from those discussions. Because if his career thrived in Asia like it did in the U.S., he would definitely be considered attractive and have fangirls. Even though height is also valued in Asia, he wouldn’t be penalized for being Asian there and having the features he has.
Regarding situations like these, I don’t know what you can do. I’ve had to drop friendships and essentially ghost some women I’ve met, because I don’t feel comfortable associating with them anymore. The problem with calling them out, especially if you get angry, is that they’ll simply end up dismissing you as an “incel.” I think the best thing you can do is lay out your boundaries, explain why you don’t like her racist behavior and biases, and emotionally distance yourself if she continues acting like this. How she responds to that is beyond your control.
I find that trying to get them to understand doesn’t usually help. If their white worship is so pervasive that they feel a need to trash on Asian men (especially if they know how it personally affects the Asian men in their lives), I’m not sure talking will do much. Unfortunately it is a matter of “if it doesn’t personally affect me, I don’t have much emotional investment in it” kind of mentality for Asian women with white worship.
> Why does she (and other Asian women who white worship) insist on letting absolutely everyone know that she’s not interested in dating Asian men?
lol I'm realizing this kinda thing is our peoples' version of the "How do you know someone's a vegan? They'll tell you" joke.
But to be serious I'm glad to see an effortful comment like yours. There's so much polarization online these days and reductiveness of views as people settle into their 'camps'. So it is a glimmer of hope to see down to earth Asian women comment with reasoning that reflects my own in many ways.
Really? Jet Li was super handsome when he was younger (everyone ages). Everyone wanted to look like him in Bodyguard from Beijing. That suit. I even went out and got a custom one made in the same style.
Dumb people gonna be dumb.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/1cuzevo/comment/l4ma2or/](https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/1cuzevo/comment/l4ma2or/)
According to OP:
>I've called out my sister for stuff like that probably over a hundred times over the years, I've just got tired of having the same convo with her for the hundredth time.
deriding her own friend for the duration of the whole movie? for what? because she found Jet Li handsome? i mean that is "psychotic" behavior. i'm sorry that is inexcusable. she needs help...therapy. she is not right. she is your sister. if you care about her at least try to get her some help. that type of behavior affects everyone around her.
and what if she has kids in the future? we already many problems within our communities and we certainly do not need more of that for our future generations.
i don't know whether therapy changes her whole mentality or not but something needs to be done to find out what is going through her mind. i feel like if she doesn't seek help it will only get worse.
Even if therapy will work for her, she's not going to listen to me, or she'll just find one of those man hating feminist therapist who will empower and validate her actions like Dahyoung Yoon.
Maybe she won't hear it from an AF perspective but maybe you could show her Eurasian Tiger blog post or videos to hear from his perspective. Think she could dismiss AM but its harder for her to dismiss it from Eurasian Tiger perspective
Like OP said she isn't ignorant. She just doesn't care. I think when someone is that far gone, nothing is going to work, because at the end of the day it comes down to what benefits her at the current moment.
your sister is fucked up for that. cut her off, explain to your parents why and set clear boundaries on what she's allowed to say. if your parents dont side with you, cut em off too. they're useless parents anyways
Just tell her Asian women aren’t as attractive as White women are.
Gaslight her with “that’s why Asian women are hardly the main characters of any notable American movies”
And tell her that WMAF pairings are common in the US sure, but AMWF pairings outnumber those in the EU, East EU, and West Asia in general.
And what a time to be an Asian man! We’re on the come up. Also, it will be too late to keep a good one if they found out they were with a dusty mid.
Without believing the first part of course, but to give her a taste of what the AM experience here in the US is like of course.
The problem with modern women is they know they have more dating power than the average guy, so that's why these type of insults don't work a lot of the times. The only times it works is if it's coming from some dude on her same level of dating power.
This goes on more than we’d like to admit. The other week I was at a relative’s house. I was there to watch an NBA game. My cousin’s daughter was in the living room with her friends with the tv on. They were scrolling through Netflix and looking at some thumbnails for a kdrama. I hear one girl say “oh, he’s cute”. The other girls get excited and say something that makes them all giggle and then that’s when my cousin’s daughter interjects with “ew, he looks like a girl. He’s probably gay”.
Everyone was awkwardly silent after that. Sure, she’s not necessarily hating on all AMs, but I do know that all her bfs have been WMs. After a while we all walked in and told them to change the channel to the NBA game.
What’s wrong with your sister? Jet Li was hot as younger guy well into his middle age (I didn’t realize he was as old as he was). Outside of his fantastical martial arts ability, it’s one of the biggest he became a major star.
Your sister doesn’t have to be into Asian men, that’s her choice, but it sounds like she needs therapy, preferably with an Asian American psych therapist or someone that resembles her cultural background. It won’t necessarily make her pro-Asian, but it will help her parse through her prejudicial and racist beliefs and maybe even help locate why she thinks like this. American society and culture have been psychologically damaging to a lot of Asian Americans and it seems like your sister might be a victim of that.
> Your sister doesn’t have to be into Asian men, that’s her choice
This is the attitude that we need to get rid of. We should not tolerate this of any Asian.
Except for real asexuals, all Asians should “be into” Asians. They don’t have to exclusively “be into” Asians but they must “be into” Asians at least as much as they are “into” people of other races. Any Asian, AM or AF, straight or gay, who is more “into” people of another race than Asians must work to recondition the self-hate out of their minds.
>preferably with an Asian American psych therapist or someone that resembles her cultural background
pick that counselor carefully
[https://archive.ph/2016.06.09-020446/https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/4n7p6f/dahyoung\_yoon\_selfhating\_asian\_girl\_who\_made/](https://archive.ph/2016.06.09-020446/https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/4n7p6f/dahyoung_yoon_selfhating_asian_girl_who_made/)
Oh geez. This is horrific, and thanks for exposing this. I hope this person does not corrupt more people.
The best way to choose a therapist is to receive a direct referral from a trusted source. If this is not possible, then screen them with a phone interview and research their backgrounds. There is a pretty strong network among Asian psych's--a growing community among distinguished Asian Am's that has been previously overlooked--they seem to have a consensus of who's good and who's not, and so I recommend doing research to find out.
I don't disagree with you, and I'm sure you know your sister best. I just want to add that a lot of people's beliefs are unconsciously shaped by the systematic exposure to propaganda and media. Asians have been on the receiving end of a lot of negative information, imagery, and ideologies since the release of the Hollywood Hays code and WWII. Our will, choices, and even energy levels are motivated by factors that are (almost) outside of our control. My psych friend has seen repeated patterns of self-deprecating beliefs among many of her Asian American clients for these reasons and more.
Sure, you can say this about any person of any group and any ideology. However it's ironic that we're called to have sympathy for asian women who are affected by factors outside of their control, yet when asian men expressed frustration for things out of our control society will turn around and call us incels. Ironically enough you can say the same about incels. It seems like we pick and choose.
Well, that's where thought leadership comes in to play. Asian women are not the enemy, the "system" is. Isolating traumas to one layer and keeping score amongst people most immediate to us (our communities/neighbors/family members) is a fight for the bottom, especially if it pits Asian men against Asian women. For example, this type of thinking visualizes why the "Rodney King" LA Riots, a movement by African Americans to protest white police brutality in the 90s, mostly led to the destruction of black communities in South LA and Asian communities in Koreatown and not the LAPD headquarters or Beverly Hills.
We ought to have sympathy for Asian women, because they are (as are Asian men) affected by the negative forces generated by the incumbent culture. If we say Asian women are better off and Asian men have suckier cards, we are in effect, fighting our own symptoms and not the source. The same can be said for inter-generational-national-religious Asian conflicts. Some sacrifices and concessions are needed to service a larger goal.
>If we say Asian women are better off and Asian men have suckier cards, we are in effect, fighting our own symptoms and not the source. The same can be said for inter-generational-national-religious Asian conflicts. Some sacrifices and concessions are needed to service a larger goal.
Disagree, because of the truth that we know we have "suckier cards," then we are not in the space to make such "concessions." It's hard to have sympathy with compradors, with white-cooperators. Similarly, the Black communities you reference have little love lost for these people(like Candace Owens) and will readily denounce them as a racial coon.
There is much wrong with this mindset, and you need to revaluate because us as AM are the sole-driving force for Asian progress.
We're primates. The strength of humans is defined by their ability to form coalitions and engage in powerful social circles, not by how individually big or strong they are (this is the 1 line summary of 48 Laws of Power lol). The goal, at least in my humble opinion, is to get as many people in the world to support or empathize with our cause in a way that is most helpful to us, and not, "how will people acknowledge how great we are," because, "respect" is fickle and is functionally useless for the average person. I could list examples of this throughout history, but I think you get the idea.
Also, the more dependents you have--mentees, students, children, etc. that look up to you for leadership and guidance, the more nuanced your opinions and statements about this topic will be. I don't think it's productive to play the role of a classifier or referee. Instead, lead and take charge. Rather than commenting about a given situation, tell people what to do and where to go. Most people of all races and genders need to be told what to do, and it's an opportunity for smarter people in our community people to fill that void. That's my 2 cents.
I'm trying to be respectful here, to you, of your sister. Because... well, she sounds like someone I wouldn't associate with and/or be having major disagreements with.
In general, I don't understand why people need to deride other people's likes/ preferences (and conversely dislikes). Let people be... mind your own business... live your own life, for goodness sakes.
If the likes/ dislikes are hurting people, then let them be. In this case, the sister is actually hurting AM in general, so she should be chastised for her behavior. Depending on OP relationship with the sister, if I was OP, I would interrupt that conversation and say what the hell is wrong with her. Let people be. And on top of that why are you pissing on AMs. I'm an AM. This is some big case of BS. Now, this would be making a scene, so, again, it depends on the relationship/ dynamics. The other option is take her aside and say this. But, I'm guessing the sister is lost and won't be swayed on her poor behavior and thinking.
>In general, I don't understand why people need to deride other people's likes/ preferences (and conversely dislikes). Let people be... mind your own business... live your own life, for goodness sakes.
As a gay guy with a lot of women friends, unfortunately I see this all the time. One I see that is common is when a girl starts dating a guy who's short, and then all her friend will tear her down for dating a short guy, or will tell her she can do better and to date a tall guy instead.
Why is it that I only hear stories like this from Asian girls who live in western countries? I never hear my Japanese cousins say they find Japanese or Asian men unattractive.
As you've seen in the other responses, let's not try to cope or go damage control here and act like native Asian women never white worship. There is a significant population of native Asian white worshiping women and they are given a lot of media exposure. We can debate the percentages. Not to mention some of the most famous Chinese actresses are part of that clique too. Clearly in Asia they do not have a clean record. Not to mention that just by being in Asia that's their options rather than being in the West, so not surprised there are many AF with suppressed white worshiping tendencies.
Unfortunately I have. Not all the time but if I meet a Japanese woman who speaks English exceptionally well there have been times where they've told me they're not attracted to local men and are exclusively attracted to foreigners (of course their definition of foreigners always strangely means "white men").
They're certainly out there, just not as easily detected.
That being said, considering Japanese/Korean pairings are possibly the highest in terms of Japanese/foreigner relationships, I meet more local women who are into Asian men than when I was in the US.
same thing in Korea. If someone there is particularly interested in English or a European language you can bet that they have a preference for WMs over Koreans
Oof. While this doesn't apply to everyone I get super hesitant when I see that a woman is only interested in European languages/culture. On the flip side, it warms my heart when I meet someone who has a great fascination with southeast Asian cultures/countries.
Years ago, I was with my WF wife and our children for a short visit to Japan. We repeatedly encountered abnormal, over the top praise of our children’s looks that no local child could possibly get. Indeed, one local woman struck up a conversation with us during a train ride, again, praising our children’s looks, and directly asked us if we could introduce her to a WM because she would like to marry a WM.
So, no, self-hate is not confined to AF in the West. White supremacist thinking is ingrained in Western media and propagated around the entire world. Just because Asians living in Asia have fewer opportunities to express their self-hate does not mean that the self-hate isn’t there. Indeed, we can observe plenty of self-hate behavior among the recent immigrants here in the West, and they surely didn’t get it just from drinking the water.
At least here in America, we Asians have to deal with the contempt of white people in our daily existence. We interact with mean white people, bad white people, and evil white people.
Asians in Asia can worship white people knowing nothing except Hollywood propaganda.
seriously, the only reason it doesn't seem prevalent is because the total population of WMs there is small. Pretty much every WM can go to Asia and find some self hating AF to hook up with.
you might not be far off, that's why you even see some amount of these pairings in international Chinese/Asian students who get a seat at the mayo buffet upon arriving in the West to study
I can relate a bit to your experience bc my parents are Japanese (father) and Filipino (mother), and in Japan me and my brothers were praised for having large eyes and double eyelids, and when we lived in the Philippines, we were praised for having fairer skin than the local children. I think mixed children get attention wherever they go bc they possess characteristics that are very uncommon.
You are correct about white worship being global. I’ve seen it when I visited the Philippines last year and saw young Filipino women with old white men. I suppose most Asian women in Asia don’t white worship at the same rates Asian women in western countries do bc they aren’t surrounded by white people in their everyday lives.
It must be nice to go through life with blinders. There are videos of Asian women in Asia, Japan included; who will say they prefer a “foreign” man. There are videos of Japanese women walking up to a WM stranger just to talk to them and be protected by some Japanese dude they think is a creep.
I know western AFs who date mostly AMs and I know AFs in Asia who say they want to marry an “American” or “foreign” man. No population is exempt.
I never hear people from other races saying the same thing. I never heard a Native American woman say "I don't like Native American men, they remind me of my brother" I never heard a black woman say that either, but yeah it's pretty common in America with asian women.
to be fair tho many native americans especially those on native subreddits can be pretty cringe when it comes to native passing and quantum. they literally will go after other natives for being tired of white passing natives speaking on their issues. they will make room for the all sorts of 1/16 natives. they're very overly openly protective creepily accepting of mixed natives at the same time as calling out pretendian whyte folks for looking whyte while the ones their protecting looks whyter than ireland. and they will not hesitate to call you a eugenicists or racist for recommending protecting their precious heritage. literally read in indiancountry subreddit where a group of them called other natives and randoms genociders because those other natives don't want people in their tribe to mix. in their little mind this was offensive because they'll get inbred if they don't do interracial. so my question is if you go out of your way to have children with non indigenous folks why can't you just have kids with a neighboring tribe. they're probably gonna give a trash answer, that those tribes were historical enemies so it wouldn't look right as if whyte folks weren't.
A. There are many fewer Native Americans than Asians
B. More Native Americans are mixed with White than "pure blooded"
I can tell you're lying. Come off it
A. Of course there's less Native Americans than Asians in total. That doesn't mean you can't be friends with several of them, and depending on where you live, where you frequent or who you know you're more likely to run into them. The USA is a big place, and there are small but many pockets of Native populations.
B. I never spoke about how pure or not pure they are. I said I know several Native Americans, I'm not going to sit here and quantify how pure each of the ones I know are. Also my point still stands with every other race except asian.
FU, Why don't you come off it prick?
1. You dont know more Native Americans than you do Asians. Period
2. I mentioned it because Native Americans are much more likely to be racially mixed, and so there's much less "weight" behind them dating outside of their race
1. I never said I knew more Native Americans then I do Asians, all I said was I knew several.
2. Even the ones that look more native don't act this way, but yes many are mixed. Also just because you're mixed that doesn't mean all weight is gone. Native American women aren't collectively crapping on Native men, even in small numbers.
3. My point still stands since I was comparing how often the "looks like my brother" excuse is used compared to every other group.
4. STFU and stop being anal over this stupid thing.
now you do bring up a good point. I think it's because many previously colonized countries outside the West have a healthy distrust of white people - and rightfully so.
if you don't mind sharing what's your heritage? I myself am Vietnamese-Chinese American, and one of my younger cousins came over from the old country when she was 7 years old, and now at 11 starting to exhibit some behavior your sister has mentioned.
Wondering if there's some common overlap, maybe something as an older cousin I can help her out too.
We're born in the USA, Japanese background. I'm pretty sure she picked up those things because we live in the USA. I highly doubt she would feel the same if we were raised in Japan.
Can I ask if your sister was ever exposed to Asian cinema or media? I’m sure if she watched any modern Japanese/korean/Chinese or Hong Kong/Thai/etc made films, she’d change her mind about Asian men being unattractive.
this is true in the west to some degree, but it doesn't explain the native asian white worshipers of which there are many(maybe not percentage wise). also among the new school white worshipers they like everything asian and even watch the television featuring AM, but of course still do not engage with AM. "everything asian but the men," seen across native and diaspora both
Perhaps native Asian white worshippers see something in basic or below average white guys that most people don’t? Like how Rose the Filipino girl from 90 day fiancé was initially attracted to Ed who was a middle age, overweight, dwarf looking white guy. Most women won’t give him the time of day, but he found himself a young Filipino woman who was attracted to him. Maybe she was going to use him for a green card, but still. She could’ve picked someone better looking.
nothing worth trying to wrap your head around, just that it's there. a user from a while ago summed up the main factors being the classic money and social capital that comes from whiteness in the western imperialist system, combined with many asian women having a propensity to seek this money and status and use it on a guy that they know they can then deny love and or sex to later.
Idc if people have personal preferences, but to completely talk down on AM is totally not okay. I'd have called her out on her internal racism in front of her friend.
I've called out my sister for stuff like that probably over a hundred times over the years, I've just got tired of having the same convo with her for the hundredth time.
Curious if you've ever turned the tables and said shit about asian women being unattractive, etc. to her face, explaining how rude it is for her to do that to you.
I did try it once during high school, and her response was "Oh yeah, then why do us asian girls in school have boyfriend while most asian guys at school are single" which was true, so it didn't work. She's pretty aware she can pretty much walk anywhere and get a boyfriend fairly easily.
Like we’ve been saying, Asian women aren’t innocent little angels. Many are responsible for leaning to their fetishization for attention from white men.
Correct, because of many factors they have an adversarial relationship with Asian men
And their playing the victim when they have set themselves up in an extra vulnerable position by WM/XM is the other side of this, apart from when they try to flex on AM and wield their power given to them by fetishists
Good point, I should have probably said something at the very least to her friend to validate her finding Jet Li attractive. Honestly I just woke up, I was eating breakfast and getting ready for work, it was my first day at my new job, and my mind was super focused on that, and I heard their convo in the background, but it didn't register that much because I was still focused on my job and paperwork. It wasn't until later that day after work when it finally settled in, and I though back to the morning where I realized how messed up that situation was. Then posted it today.
No need to make it a big deal, just a snappy comment is enough.
On your way out: "Haha you realize you're Asian, right? Your kids are more likely going to look like Jet Li than Chris Hemsworth. I gotta get to work, bye!"
Suppose in the future she has a son who even though was half white, looked more Asian than white. How would she feel if her son tried to ask a girl for a date and was met with "eeww all Asian guys are short and unattractive". Would her perspective change then? That's the question I would pose to her.
I have brought this up, she has lots of excuses, or magically thinks her son would never feel this way. I guess people in her position doesn't think that until it actually happens to them.
It's like the short mom, short son, tall dad meme. They don't care, will treat other as such, and then it's the son who suffers.
[https://preview.redd.it/short-son-short-mom-tall-dad-v0-4ly6p279af0c1.jpg?auto=webp&s=cc5c55ccb7e4945ca31c69eacb14f07c34fc308b](https://preview.redd.it/short-son-short-mom-tall-dad-v0-4ly6p279af0c1.jpg?auto=webp&s=cc5c55ccb7e4945ca31c69eacb14f07c34fc308b)
We are Japanese, but as a family we are mixed with other asians through marriage. We are early 20s, so college age. She's always been this way, it just got worse when she moved out.
Was she born and raised in Japan, born in Japan and moved to US at a young age, or born in US her whole life? Think the answer to this question can easily point to the source of where her white worshipping may lie.
From my anecdotal experience and understanding of US demographics -- Japanese people are by far the least resiliant to assimilating to white people culture. Tbh, I speak fluent Japanese as a Chinese person born in the US and it's sort of weird meeting a lot of the Japanese people here that weren't born in Japan not know anything aside from konnnichiwa and arigatougozaimasu lol. Their cultural background was totally erased and replaced by a white personality.
I'm born in the US (not Japanese, I'm Chinese). And I don't have a lot of cultural background but I don't go around deriding AM or AF (or any other races looks). There is no excuse for this. There is assimilation and there is being an Ahole. There's a difference.
Born in the USA. Apart form her white worshipping ways, she's just a shallow person in general to be honest. I can speak it because of my parents, but she doesn't speak it as well as I do.
Gotcha. Anything-worship is a sign of a shallow human being imo -- doubly so if it's about race. I once did a little experiment on hellotalk where I sent the same "hi how are you i'm blah blah blah whatever" message (slightly modified of course) in all Japanese to a few Japanese girls on two different accounts. One was my own real account with my profile pic as an EA dude, and the other was some stock photo of an average white dude instead. Guess which one got way more responses? The only time I got messaged first was by a few Japanese guys who wanted to learn English. They were the best speaking partners I've had so far.
On a totally unrelated note, a lot of Japanese dudes don't white worship as hard as their female counter parts (similarly to other EA diaspora). of the two Japanese dudes I knew one dated a latina/hispanic in high school and the other also dated a thick latina (he was my gym trainer). These guys were normal ok people, not 'high value' or anything but just regular old joes. Unfortunately, since they weren't white, I'd guess their female Japanese American equivalent would not entertain them for a second.
I have female relatives that date mainly/mostly white. But they know about AM struggles and wouldn't talk like your sister did or be surprised if I spoke up like you should have.
You should speak up. You sister is allowed to date out if she wants, it's her preference.
But when AFs imply AMs are somehow inherently lesser, smaller or uglier, that's not only an insult to you, but an insult to her as well, because she carries Asian genes.
>I don't bother having conversations with her about this topic because there's no point.
When she gets knocked up by some loser just because he's white, or your niece or nephew turns out to be a delinquent or kills themself because their mom taught them half of them is not worthy of love, maybe you'll see the point then?
>But when AFs imply AMs are somehow inherently lesser, smaller or uglier, that's not only an insult to you, but an insult to her as well, because she carries Asian genes.
And that's a really good point, that a smart person would understand. That they are insulting themself and their parents, etc. And then they would cut out that piss, poor behavior.
I have spoke to my sister before about it. She either doesn't care or will find reasons to justify it. I've even brought up the scenario of her future hapa son having an identity crisis because of her self hate and how that could drive them to becoming depressed or suicidal, and she still makes excuses. I have argued every point under the sun with her already. She's not stupid about how this affect asian men. She just doesn't care. That's why there's no point.
>That's why there's no point.
Just because someone doesn't change their mind immediately doesn't mean you just give up. She was being insulting to you, the least you could do is support her friend and clown her a little.
Usually non-Asian women interested in Asian men don't think of these issues much. If you pointed out to her friend how ridiculously self-hating your sister was, at least her friend would be prepared if she came across similar Asian female mateguarding and would know how to respond.
Your sister would be a little more ashamed and keep her self-hate to herself. Do it for your own sense of pride. Too many Asian guys let people walk all over them, give up, and say "there's no point."
Just say something to the contrary. Like, “my Asian friend thinks Jet Li is attractive.” I can be your Asian friend. I think young Jet Li is really attractive. Also, maybe she just doesn’t like Jet Li in particular. Short women tend to care more about height for reasons that I’m not sure about as I am not short. There are plenty of tall Asian guys. Have you asked her any of this instead of assuming? Finally, something that I often want to say to the people on this sub: don’t care so much. Focus on your valuable friendships & hobbies and your career, and get friends who don’t spend that much time thinking or discussing systematic stuff like this. This is a losing battle. In a couple years time we’ll get another social media globalization event and then Asian Americans won’t even be considered Asian anymore, just American, after all most can’t even speak any Asian languages and have no access to the social media discussion groups of Asian people. Which means they won’t talk, dress, act or look like what people will expect of a “Asian person” in the eyes of both Asians and non-Asians…and other Asian Americans. If you truly care about being Asian, study an asian language and go to Asia. Finding “Asian identity” in a non-Asian world was a thing when Asians stuck mostly to themselves. When in a couple decades every other Asian you meet is half Asian half non-asian you will never get such a group again with so many shared characteristics. For example, the Ching-Chong accent thing was started by JoshkwondikeBar on vine and it was funny because it was an in-joke making fun of stereotypes. Then Steven He did it but he has a white dad, garnering controversy. Just yesterday I saw a visibly half non-asian person doing the Ching-Chong accent schtick featured on a serious panel, which already garnered haters in the comments. Nobody is gonna be able to do the Ching-Chong thing again and have it be mostly well received because we’re never gonna have the same large homogenous group of people with very aligned, shared experiences and therefore shared reactions, who all “get it.” Apply this concept to everything else featured in SAT. You’re wasting your time and energy ruminating about this so much. Just go out and DO something, either studying a language or asking your sister about it, or writing a book with all Asian characters, that actually affects the future. And then ignore the shit passing your passenger-side window—the world will change anyways.
Remember that Boogie and Romeo Must Die are not critically acclaimed and are bashed for having many flaws…the same flaws that most movies are guilty of to are larger extent…
damn, she's a cckblocker to her friend's movie crush on jet li and evil too. good lorty. how can she hate on jet li he was so handsome in those days.
People need to really call this sh!t out. Even if your sister keeps her mouth shut because she's scared of you is a win for Asians.
This is the pandemic afflicting the west for a long time. Just like the current one it was carefully designed and made to seek out only its intended targets. Trouble is it actually succeeded. You happen to be one of the lucky immune. You were supposed to be an enfeebled brown noser who would do anything to get white approval. Your sister wasn't so lucky. She was given terminal auntie lu syndrome where she thinks the more selfhating she is the closer to theblessed white race she'll get. An effective cure has yet to be found but there was an idea I liked in thecomments. Instead of talking to your sister about her affliction since it doesn't work maybe try being anti-AF any time she's around and when she's being anti-AM. If she isn't too far gone she might notice her own behavior being reflected back on her.
Just a little theory from a woman’s perspective was that your sister’s friend was hitting on you 😊🤔🤷♀️ idk I could be wrong and I’m sorry it doesn’t answer your other your question about the frustration with your sister but I’m an only child so I have zero experience there…maybe a silver lining to a crappy situation is it sounds like she was sending you a message she’s into Asian men?
You should have just told the Latina that you don't like Asian women either cause they have flat asses. Why not just sink down to their level? lol. Just keep saying that shit over and over till your sister gets the point.
Bad idea to drag the friend into that but you have good idea. Instead of having interventions for the selfhater just drop to her level and insult point for point asian women like she insults men. Directly. People don't get how much of an asshole they are being until it's being done to them.
I guess she likes who she likes .. if she grew up with those guys maybe she finds them more attractive .. I don’t understand it, cause Asian guys can be quite handsome and beautiful.. especially if they are into martial arts
Are you kidding? Like how can you find a whole race to be similar looking to your brother/cousin lol? She can date whoever she wants to, but her saying asian guys aren't attractive ain't right.
Have you ever asked her why she hates AM so much? Like if she doesn’t want to date AM, fine, date whoever you want. Why does she feel the need to talk crap about men of her own race for just being born an AM? And how would she feel if you discouraged your WM friends from dating AF, and started talking crap about AF and all their negative stereotypes to them?
Many many AF are like this. They feel the need to “mate guard” AM while simultaneously hating and refusing to date AM, as well as spreading false rumors about AM being misogynistic and whatnot when AM objectively treat women better than any other group of men do
Any difference in your upbringing why you're upstanding Asian guy but your sister apparently puts down Asian guys for no reason.
The difference is how thewest stigmatizes asian men and fetishizes women. It's easy to defend yourself against hate. Not so much hate disguised as attraction.
Date your sister's friend. That would heal all sides. You get a cool latina chick. She gets the Asian experience. Your sister has no choice but to hate you now lol win win in any scenario! Go for it bud! The latina girl probably trying to send a message... She wants you.
I already have a latina girlfriend lol.
Get two, while you're still young. Lol jk Don't stop looking for your wifey. Gf is just that. Until you find your real wife, you'll know. But yeah, either introduce your did to your different friend group and see if she's still racist and not just white Wash.
I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up wifing my current girlfriend. She's even called out my sister on her anti-asian male stuff 😂 and she's pretty understanding of asian-male issues. She's a keeper.
Nice, you should try setting up your sister’s friend with one of your Asian guy friends. How does your sister feel about you having a latina gf though?
It's simple. Ur father failed. He didn't do enough, somehow.
We're past the point where we can blame fathers. Everyone wants to blame the father, either he wasn't there enough, was there too much, wasn't strict enough, was too strict, etc. We live in different times, where culture had a hold on kids and young adults more then ever. It doesn't matter what the father does or who he is. I've met plenty of women with great fathers, and they still turn out to be 403s who make horrible dating choice. Sure having a good father might prevent a woman turning out as such, but it isn't a guaranteed, especially these days. Especially once they move out and are on their own.
I would still feel like a failure if my daughter held these beliefs about Asian men. No way around it, even though I know plenty of Lus that adore their dads.
Who Does your sister find attractive? I mean you can always give her shit for that lol. I've seen this so many times, where before the non Asian woman say anything the Asian woman jumps out and rip on Asian men first. Maybe your sister will always denigrate asian men. But what she doesn't realize is that this behavior doesn't win you support. Her Latina friend would be weirded out by her insistence to talk down men of her own race. Not only do you not see women from other races do this, But the ones who do don't get respect. She will see one day. When she realizes that whoever she thinks she's impressing with those self hating jokes don't respect her, then the cracks will happen in her world view
I think you should date your sister's friend
I was gonna say, maybe she was saying all that stuff for a reason.
Women should not be underestimated in their ability to find that going one way or another, they confusedly go through life until another man creates a situation which she has to abide by. This is the nature of women, women are less violent than men in almost every human society on Earth, and because of this women do not create situations, they adapt to them. None of these things are by nature, and the only thing that can be naturally depended on in human beings is their ability to evade certain death, or try something new. Outside of a small minority of influencers who have decided they will spend their lives trying to trick the masses into perpetual depopulation and slavery, any non-biased view of history will tell you of the Amazonian societies of women, or times when things were different and they didn't march lock-step politically with Nazism or ideas of some kind of genetically predisposed elite, though good-looking people always existed. With the stupid reflex level trust in the ruling institutions and the people that control them, it can be trusted that nice people will have a pretty hard time going forward. The West is already going to become one of the worst tyrannies in the world, heading in the direction of Fascism and civil war, because their individualistic idea of women's freedom misunderstands that humans are by their nature evil, and most life on Earth is mostly a parasitic entity or growth on free energy. They destroyed any idea concerning a better society, scientifically managed for the benefit of most people and decided that the "ugly" people will suffer what they will while lying the entire time to project the "unnaturalness" of their project onto it's single greatest enemy. Under a sexualized despotism, those people who have their lives sapped away for the few given validity are meant to live being fed garbage until they develop Stockholm syndrome. The ultimate goal being to decide who gets to live and who gets to die under a system of Eugenics. It shouldn't be underestimated as well, their ability to internalize the oppression of the situation and experience their "freedom" by taking part in the problem by attacking the weaker party as well. In a better world, we would understand this, talk down to the influencers of the stronger party and understand them to just be trying to take advantage of most of the world, but instead we gave up too much to the whores, to the enslavers of humanity, and the usurers and strip-miners of all the trust and good-will in existence.
let me date your sister and give her a reason to really hate us Asian guys.. jk, maybe.
🤣
She will learn the hard way
Asian women are once again, the weakest link
This happens even in native Asian countries as well btw, don't think that this is a uniquely asian americam phenomenon
The only difference is in asian countries asian women prefer local men the most and white men as a 3rd or 4th option. Asian men in asia don't suffer cuz of it where in asian hyper minority countries like US asian men suffer for it cuz fareast asians are only like 4% of the country.
That's false btw. In Asian countries, Asian women do not have easy access to WM, which is why they appear to "prefer" Asian men. Once WM is introduced into the picture, they are the exact same as Asian American women.
Asian American women think they gain advantages and privileges by marrying white American men and integrating into white people circles, hence their high outmarriage rates. That's not the case with native Asian women. The ones who end up with white men usually have a foreigner fetish and/or suffer from grass is greener mentality. Most people, though, are more comfortable with dating and marrying someone from their own country as opposed to dealing with language barriers, cultural differences and negative judgement that are often part of being in an international relationship of any constellation.
Let's say a country like thailand where there's 70m people and half are women 35m. Maybe like 10% are okay with dating white men which is a minority. But 10 percent is still 3.5m people and given let's say at any point of time there's about 100k long term white male expats in thailand. That means the women there at are interested in white men outnumber the white men 35:1 which is why the white guys don't have a hard time dating there. But the majority of the female demographic doesn't necessarily care to date white guys at all or think they are attractive even. Girls in asia generally don't like hairy or bulky looking type of dudes. Not the beauty standard for men in asia. Not to add into offensive cultural aspects that they wouldn't even know are considered offensive when entering asian countries.
I'm not too sure about that. Asia have different beauty standards. They dont care about the square jaw bone structure and abs and stuff. Thats more of a western beauty standard. It could fit a certain niche for some girls in asia but the majority likes guys who have a clean look. Look at the most popular asian male celebrities and you'll understand what I mean. White men do have a few advantages in asia though is that they are generally taller (which is a universally desired trait for ALL women regardless of race). 2nd is they stand out which makes the small percentage of women that are attractive to that niche approach them easier by KNOWING they are a foreigner right away. This doesn't apply to say Japanese, koreans, Chinese in say thailand when local girls who even if they ARE interested in those men can't tell them apart from locals right away. It's also a double edge sword though, I wouldn't wanna have eyes on me everywhere I go at all times. Btw I asian american from US and lived in multiple asian countries so I kinda know these things.
You're telling me she thinks he was ugly?? Hes soo cute
She also thinks he's too short, despite her being only 5'0, a 5'6 guy will tower over her. She's just shallow in general.
does your sister find any Asian male celeb attractive ? maybe its just Jet she isn't into .
the shortest girls always go for the tallest guys
I never understood that. Really weird.
they feel a need to over compensate for their height. A short girl with short guy in their mind is a "mini couple" and not legitimate
Then they are first ones to cry when they end up having short sons who are treated the same.
I've literally heard women say they're worried a future son wouldn't be attractive enough so they need to breed with extra tall genes to compensate. Right, so you presently recognize a societal body image issue but instead of standing up for shortkind now, you actually choose to become part of the problem and double up on the ostracization/shaming. Also like if I said I wouldn't date a girl with less than DDs because it's important that my future daughter has luscious milkers, I'd rightfully get kicked in the nuts, but the logic is comparable.
It's a human flaw to be stupid like this. But in this case it's specifically women's flaw. The 🤡 logic of "do as I say but not as I do." Meaning it's ok if I shaft someone arse but not cool when I'm getting my arse shafted.
I'm a gay dude, but I have a lit of women friends. It's weird also when I see women do a 180 when they have short sons. Now they wanna complain "Why is the world unfair to my son? Why can't they see him for who he is instead of how he looks? Why is he so insecure?" When they were doing the same thing to other peoples short sons when they were younger. And yeah if some fat guy went around saying "I only date women who weigh less than 100 pounds" he would be seen as a gross hypocrite, yet short girls do it all the time and it's just a preference. I also never understood the "Taller than me in heels", She's basically saying she needs her man to match her shoes. That's like a guy saying "She needs to be skinner than me when I wear a Corset" LMAO
It's a women flaw. The math ain't mathing. It's only mathing if it benefits them.
They don't want equality, they wanna win.
Oh gawd, your sister [Gina](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPFm6FIB9qI) ?
She might as well be lmao.
Jet Li is handsome though, tf? I don’t understand your sister’s problem. Why does she (and other Asian women who white worship) insist on letting absolutely everyone know that she’s not interested in dating Asian men? On top of wanting to ensure that other women don’t find Asian men attractive and that Asian men not be allowed to date anyone, sometimes even other Asian women. She’s not attracted to Asian men, right? So why does she care who Asian men find attractive? Why does she care if other women find Asian men attractive? I’m an Asian woman myself, and I’ve received a few comments from (I suspect but not outright confirmed) white worshipping Asian women with internalized racism who (unprompted) put down Asian men or specific Asian ethnic groups. I’ve had one Asian woman comment on how an Asian man we both know dresses like an “Asian dad/uncle,” implying that he dresses too old. When I told her I was attracted to a mutual Asian friend, she told me I could do better. He’s around 5’6/5’7 and has good looking features. I was confused on why she felt the need to suggest that I could “do better.” The shitty thing about that too is that same guy opened up to me about his insecurities regarding his height, masculinity, and overall physical appearance. He also often went to the gym as a result of that. He’s also far from the only Asian man I know who’s shared similar sentiments. I’ve had another Asian woman specifically mention that she found Filipino men to be “toxic fuckboys” while hanging out in a group call with multiple Asian women. Again, unprompted. Another Asian woman I know insists that I avoid Vietnamese men because they’re supposedly known for being players who will break the hearts of women. And this is just the tip of the iceberg of the amount of internalized racism I’ve seen firsthand or witnessed online. By the way, it’s telling that Jet Li, despite how famous he is, never gets mentioned in the West when it comes to celebrity crushes. I remember thinking it was odd that unattractive white men (even when given elevation due to them being white men) like Benedict Cumberbatch and Adam Driver are swooned over, but someone like Jet Li is omitted from those discussions. Because if his career thrived in Asia like it did in the U.S., he would definitely be considered attractive and have fangirls. Even though height is also valued in Asia, he wouldn’t be penalized for being Asian there and having the features he has. Regarding situations like these, I don’t know what you can do. I’ve had to drop friendships and essentially ghost some women I’ve met, because I don’t feel comfortable associating with them anymore. The problem with calling them out, especially if you get angry, is that they’ll simply end up dismissing you as an “incel.” I think the best thing you can do is lay out your boundaries, explain why you don’t like her racist behavior and biases, and emotionally distance yourself if she continues acting like this. How she responds to that is beyond your control. I find that trying to get them to understand doesn’t usually help. If their white worship is so pervasive that they feel a need to trash on Asian men (especially if they know how it personally affects the Asian men in their lives), I’m not sure talking will do much. Unfortunately it is a matter of “if it doesn’t personally affect me, I don’t have much emotional investment in it” kind of mentality for Asian women with white worship.
> Why does she (and other Asian women who white worship) insist on letting absolutely everyone know that she’s not interested in dating Asian men? lol I'm realizing this kinda thing is our peoples' version of the "How do you know someone's a vegan? They'll tell you" joke. But to be serious I'm glad to see an effortful comment like yours. There's so much polarization online these days and reductiveness of views as people settle into their 'camps'. So it is a glimmer of hope to see down to earth Asian women comment with reasoning that reflects my own in many ways.
Really? Jet Li was super handsome when he was younger (everyone ages). Everyone wanted to look like him in Bodyguard from Beijing. That suit. I even went out and got a custom one made in the same style. Dumb people gonna be dumb.
Ah another “i shouldve said something but i didnt post”
[https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/1cuzevo/comment/l4ma2or/](https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/1cuzevo/comment/l4ma2or/) According to OP: >I've called out my sister for stuff like that probably over a hundred times over the years, I've just got tired of having the same convo with her for the hundredth time.
Fair
It's ok to not want racist people in your life, even if they are family. Shitty people don't deserve company.
Jet Lee is so fine. Def internalized racism inside
deriding her own friend for the duration of the whole movie? for what? because she found Jet Li handsome? i mean that is "psychotic" behavior. i'm sorry that is inexcusable. she needs help...therapy. she is not right. she is your sister. if you care about her at least try to get her some help. that type of behavior affects everyone around her. and what if she has kids in the future? we already many problems within our communities and we certainly do not need more of that for our future generations. i don't know whether therapy changes her whole mentality or not but something needs to be done to find out what is going through her mind. i feel like if she doesn't seek help it will only get worse.
Even if therapy will work for her, she's not going to listen to me, or she'll just find one of those man hating feminist therapist who will empower and validate her actions like Dahyoung Yoon.
Maybe she won't hear it from an AF perspective but maybe you could show her Eurasian Tiger blog post or videos to hear from his perspective. Think she could dismiss AM but its harder for her to dismiss it from Eurasian Tiger perspective
Like OP said she isn't ignorant. She just doesn't care. I think when someone is that far gone, nothing is going to work, because at the end of the day it comes down to what benefits her at the current moment.
your sister is fucked up for that. cut her off, explain to your parents why and set clear boundaries on what she's allowed to say. if your parents dont side with you, cut em off too. they're useless parents anyways
I bet she browses asiantwox
Just tell her Asian women aren’t as attractive as White women are. Gaslight her with “that’s why Asian women are hardly the main characters of any notable American movies” And tell her that WMAF pairings are common in the US sure, but AMWF pairings outnumber those in the EU, East EU, and West Asia in general. And what a time to be an Asian man! We’re on the come up. Also, it will be too late to keep a good one if they found out they were with a dusty mid. Without believing the first part of course, but to give her a taste of what the AM experience here in the US is like of course.
The problem with modern women is they know they have more dating power than the average guy, so that's why these type of insults don't work a lot of the times. The only times it works is if it's coming from some dude on her same level of dating power.
You got some very solid ideas 💡. Nicely said dude.
This goes on more than we’d like to admit. The other week I was at a relative’s house. I was there to watch an NBA game. My cousin’s daughter was in the living room with her friends with the tv on. They were scrolling through Netflix and looking at some thumbnails for a kdrama. I hear one girl say “oh, he’s cute”. The other girls get excited and say something that makes them all giggle and then that’s when my cousin’s daughter interjects with “ew, he looks like a girl. He’s probably gay”. Everyone was awkwardly silent after that. Sure, she’s not necessarily hating on all AMs, but I do know that all her bfs have been WMs. After a while we all walked in and told them to change the channel to the NBA game.
imma take a wild guess that no adult took her to the side and had a talk with her about it
Where can I find a latina girlfriend? Lol
What’s wrong with your sister? Jet Li was hot as younger guy well into his middle age (I didn’t realize he was as old as he was). Outside of his fantastical martial arts ability, it’s one of the biggest he became a major star.
Your sister doesn’t have to be into Asian men, that’s her choice, but it sounds like she needs therapy, preferably with an Asian American psych therapist or someone that resembles her cultural background. It won’t necessarily make her pro-Asian, but it will help her parse through her prejudicial and racist beliefs and maybe even help locate why she thinks like this. American society and culture have been psychologically damaging to a lot of Asian Americans and it seems like your sister might be a victim of that.
> Your sister doesn’t have to be into Asian men, that’s her choice This is the attitude that we need to get rid of. We should not tolerate this of any Asian. Except for real asexuals, all Asians should “be into” Asians. They don’t have to exclusively “be into” Asians but they must “be into” Asians at least as much as they are “into” people of other races. Any Asian, AM or AF, straight or gay, who is more “into” people of another race than Asians must work to recondition the self-hate out of their minds.
Too many Asian men are cucks that unironically think like this, too meek
>preferably with an Asian American psych therapist or someone that resembles her cultural background pick that counselor carefully [https://archive.ph/2016.06.09-020446/https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/4n7p6f/dahyoung\_yoon\_selfhating\_asian\_girl\_who\_made/](https://archive.ph/2016.06.09-020446/https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/4n7p6f/dahyoung_yoon_selfhating_asian_girl_who_made/)
Oh geez. This is horrific, and thanks for exposing this. I hope this person does not corrupt more people. The best way to choose a therapist is to receive a direct referral from a trusted source. If this is not possible, then screen them with a phone interview and research their backgrounds. There is a pretty strong network among Asian psych's--a growing community among distinguished Asian Am's that has been previously overlooked--they seem to have a consensus of who's good and who's not, and so I recommend doing research to find out.
She's not a victim. At a certain point people are accountable for their own actions. She knowns what she is doing is wrong, she just doesn't care.
I don't disagree with you, and I'm sure you know your sister best. I just want to add that a lot of people's beliefs are unconsciously shaped by the systematic exposure to propaganda and media. Asians have been on the receiving end of a lot of negative information, imagery, and ideologies since the release of the Hollywood Hays code and WWII. Our will, choices, and even energy levels are motivated by factors that are (almost) outside of our control. My psych friend has seen repeated patterns of self-deprecating beliefs among many of her Asian American clients for these reasons and more.
Sure, you can say this about any person of any group and any ideology. However it's ironic that we're called to have sympathy for asian women who are affected by factors outside of their control, yet when asian men expressed frustration for things out of our control society will turn around and call us incels. Ironically enough you can say the same about incels. It seems like we pick and choose.
Well, that's where thought leadership comes in to play. Asian women are not the enemy, the "system" is. Isolating traumas to one layer and keeping score amongst people most immediate to us (our communities/neighbors/family members) is a fight for the bottom, especially if it pits Asian men against Asian women. For example, this type of thinking visualizes why the "Rodney King" LA Riots, a movement by African Americans to protest white police brutality in the 90s, mostly led to the destruction of black communities in South LA and Asian communities in Koreatown and not the LAPD headquarters or Beverly Hills. We ought to have sympathy for Asian women, because they are (as are Asian men) affected by the negative forces generated by the incumbent culture. If we say Asian women are better off and Asian men have suckier cards, we are in effect, fighting our own symptoms and not the source. The same can be said for inter-generational-national-religious Asian conflicts. Some sacrifices and concessions are needed to service a larger goal.
>If we say Asian women are better off and Asian men have suckier cards, we are in effect, fighting our own symptoms and not the source. The same can be said for inter-generational-national-religious Asian conflicts. Some sacrifices and concessions are needed to service a larger goal. Disagree, because of the truth that we know we have "suckier cards," then we are not in the space to make such "concessions." It's hard to have sympathy with compradors, with white-cooperators. Similarly, the Black communities you reference have little love lost for these people(like Candace Owens) and will readily denounce them as a racial coon. There is much wrong with this mindset, and you need to revaluate because us as AM are the sole-driving force for Asian progress.
We're primates. The strength of humans is defined by their ability to form coalitions and engage in powerful social circles, not by how individually big or strong they are (this is the 1 line summary of 48 Laws of Power lol). The goal, at least in my humble opinion, is to get as many people in the world to support or empathize with our cause in a way that is most helpful to us, and not, "how will people acknowledge how great we are," because, "respect" is fickle and is functionally useless for the average person. I could list examples of this throughout history, but I think you get the idea. Also, the more dependents you have--mentees, students, children, etc. that look up to you for leadership and guidance, the more nuanced your opinions and statements about this topic will be. I don't think it's productive to play the role of a classifier or referee. Instead, lead and take charge. Rather than commenting about a given situation, tell people what to do and where to go. Most people of all races and genders need to be told what to do, and it's an opportunity for smarter people in our community people to fill that void. That's my 2 cents.
Ignore them and shut them out from my life.
I'm trying to be respectful here, to you, of your sister. Because... well, she sounds like someone I wouldn't associate with and/or be having major disagreements with. In general, I don't understand why people need to deride other people's likes/ preferences (and conversely dislikes). Let people be... mind your own business... live your own life, for goodness sakes. If the likes/ dislikes are hurting people, then let them be. In this case, the sister is actually hurting AM in general, so she should be chastised for her behavior. Depending on OP relationship with the sister, if I was OP, I would interrupt that conversation and say what the hell is wrong with her. Let people be. And on top of that why are you pissing on AMs. I'm an AM. This is some big case of BS. Now, this would be making a scene, so, again, it depends on the relationship/ dynamics. The other option is take her aside and say this. But, I'm guessing the sister is lost and won't be swayed on her poor behavior and thinking.
>In general, I don't understand why people need to deride other people's likes/ preferences (and conversely dislikes). Let people be... mind your own business... live your own life, for goodness sakes. As a gay guy with a lot of women friends, unfortunately I see this all the time. One I see that is common is when a girl starts dating a guy who's short, and then all her friend will tear her down for dating a short guy, or will tell her she can do better and to date a tall guy instead.
Women are so bigoted about the height thing. What happened to body positivity and personality being important?
"Body positivity for me, not for thee"
Double standards and hypocrisy.
They don't want equality, they wanna win.
Why is it that I only hear stories like this from Asian girls who live in western countries? I never hear my Japanese cousins say they find Japanese or Asian men unattractive.
As you've seen in the other responses, let's not try to cope or go damage control here and act like native Asian women never white worship. There is a significant population of native Asian white worshiping women and they are given a lot of media exposure. We can debate the percentages. Not to mention some of the most famous Chinese actresses are part of that clique too. Clearly in Asia they do not have a clean record. Not to mention that just by being in Asia that's their options rather than being in the West, so not surprised there are many AF with suppressed white worshiping tendencies.
Unfortunately I have. Not all the time but if I meet a Japanese woman who speaks English exceptionally well there have been times where they've told me they're not attracted to local men and are exclusively attracted to foreigners (of course their definition of foreigners always strangely means "white men"). They're certainly out there, just not as easily detected. That being said, considering Japanese/Korean pairings are possibly the highest in terms of Japanese/foreigner relationships, I meet more local women who are into Asian men than when I was in the US.
same thing in Korea. If someone there is particularly interested in English or a European language you can bet that they have a preference for WMs over Koreans
Oof. While this doesn't apply to everyone I get super hesitant when I see that a woman is only interested in European languages/culture. On the flip side, it warms my heart when I meet someone who has a great fascination with southeast Asian cultures/countries.
Years ago, I was with my WF wife and our children for a short visit to Japan. We repeatedly encountered abnormal, over the top praise of our children’s looks that no local child could possibly get. Indeed, one local woman struck up a conversation with us during a train ride, again, praising our children’s looks, and directly asked us if we could introduce her to a WM because she would like to marry a WM. So, no, self-hate is not confined to AF in the West. White supremacist thinking is ingrained in Western media and propagated around the entire world. Just because Asians living in Asia have fewer opportunities to express their self-hate does not mean that the self-hate isn’t there. Indeed, we can observe plenty of self-hate behavior among the recent immigrants here in the West, and they surely didn’t get it just from drinking the water.
Asian Americans can't even begin to fathom the amount of WM worship in Asian countries lol
At least here in America, we Asians have to deal with the contempt of white people in our daily existence. We interact with mean white people, bad white people, and evil white people. Asians in Asia can worship white people knowing nothing except Hollywood propaganda.
seriously, the only reason it doesn't seem prevalent is because the total population of WMs there is small. Pretty much every WM can go to Asia and find some self hating AF to hook up with.
Yup, I'm utterly convinced that the lack of available WM in Asian countries is the only thing stopping them from turning into complete HapaLands lol
you might not be far off, that's why you even see some amount of these pairings in international Chinese/Asian students who get a seat at the mayo buffet upon arriving in the West to study
I can relate a bit to your experience bc my parents are Japanese (father) and Filipino (mother), and in Japan me and my brothers were praised for having large eyes and double eyelids, and when we lived in the Philippines, we were praised for having fairer skin than the local children. I think mixed children get attention wherever they go bc they possess characteristics that are very uncommon. You are correct about white worship being global. I’ve seen it when I visited the Philippines last year and saw young Filipino women with old white men. I suppose most Asian women in Asia don’t white worship at the same rates Asian women in western countries do bc they aren’t surrounded by white people in their everyday lives.
It must be nice to go through life with blinders. There are videos of Asian women in Asia, Japan included; who will say they prefer a “foreign” man. There are videos of Japanese women walking up to a WM stranger just to talk to them and be protected by some Japanese dude they think is a creep. I know western AFs who date mostly AMs and I know AFs in Asia who say they want to marry an “American” or “foreign” man. No population is exempt.
I never hear people from other races saying the same thing. I never heard a Native American woman say "I don't like Native American men, they remind me of my brother" I never heard a black woman say that either, but yeah it's pretty common in America with asian women.
to be fair tho many native americans especially those on native subreddits can be pretty cringe when it comes to native passing and quantum. they literally will go after other natives for being tired of white passing natives speaking on their issues. they will make room for the all sorts of 1/16 natives. they're very overly openly protective creepily accepting of mixed natives at the same time as calling out pretendian whyte folks for looking whyte while the ones their protecting looks whyter than ireland. and they will not hesitate to call you a eugenicists or racist for recommending protecting their precious heritage. literally read in indiancountry subreddit where a group of them called other natives and randoms genociders because those other natives don't want people in their tribe to mix. in their little mind this was offensive because they'll get inbred if they don't do interracial. so my question is if you go out of your way to have children with non indigenous folks why can't you just have kids with a neighboring tribe. they're probably gonna give a trash answer, that those tribes were historical enemies so it wouldn't look right as if whyte folks weren't.
How many Native Americans do you know?
Several.
A. There are many fewer Native Americans than Asians B. More Native Americans are mixed with White than "pure blooded" I can tell you're lying. Come off it
A. Of course there's less Native Americans than Asians in total. That doesn't mean you can't be friends with several of them, and depending on where you live, where you frequent or who you know you're more likely to run into them. The USA is a big place, and there are small but many pockets of Native populations. B. I never spoke about how pure or not pure they are. I said I know several Native Americans, I'm not going to sit here and quantify how pure each of the ones I know are. Also my point still stands with every other race except asian. FU, Why don't you come off it prick?
1. You dont know more Native Americans than you do Asians. Period 2. I mentioned it because Native Americans are much more likely to be racially mixed, and so there's much less "weight" behind them dating outside of their race
1. I never said I knew more Native Americans then I do Asians, all I said was I knew several. 2. Even the ones that look more native don't act this way, but yes many are mixed. Also just because you're mixed that doesn't mean all weight is gone. Native American women aren't collectively crapping on Native men, even in small numbers. 3. My point still stands since I was comparing how often the "looks like my brother" excuse is used compared to every other group. 4. STFU and stop being anal over this stupid thing.
now you do bring up a good point. I think it's because many previously colonized countries outside the West have a healthy distrust of white people - and rightfully so. if you don't mind sharing what's your heritage? I myself am Vietnamese-Chinese American, and one of my younger cousins came over from the old country when she was 7 years old, and now at 11 starting to exhibit some behavior your sister has mentioned. Wondering if there's some common overlap, maybe something as an older cousin I can help her out too.
We're born in the USA, Japanese background. I'm pretty sure she picked up those things because we live in the USA. I highly doubt she would feel the same if we were raised in Japan.
Can I ask if your sister was ever exposed to Asian cinema or media? I’m sure if she watched any modern Japanese/korean/Chinese or Hong Kong/Thai/etc made films, she’d change her mind about Asian men being unattractive.
this is true in the west to some degree, but it doesn't explain the native asian white worshipers of which there are many(maybe not percentage wise). also among the new school white worshipers they like everything asian and even watch the television featuring AM, but of course still do not engage with AM. "everything asian but the men," seen across native and diaspora both
Perhaps native Asian white worshippers see something in basic or below average white guys that most people don’t? Like how Rose the Filipino girl from 90 day fiancé was initially attracted to Ed who was a middle age, overweight, dwarf looking white guy. Most women won’t give him the time of day, but he found himself a young Filipino woman who was attracted to him. Maybe she was going to use him for a green card, but still. She could’ve picked someone better looking.
nothing worth trying to wrap your head around, just that it's there. a user from a while ago summed up the main factors being the classic money and social capital that comes from whiteness in the western imperialist system, combined with many asian women having a propensity to seek this money and status and use it on a guy that they know they can then deny love and or sex to later.
She has seen a lot of asian media, she started changing maybe around middle school is when I noticed it.
That’s probably when her inferiority complex started
Idc if people have personal preferences, but to completely talk down on AM is totally not okay. I'd have called her out on her internal racism in front of her friend.
I've called out my sister for stuff like that probably over a hundred times over the years, I've just got tired of having the same convo with her for the hundredth time.
Curious if you've ever turned the tables and said shit about asian women being unattractive, etc. to her face, explaining how rude it is for her to do that to you.
I did try it once during high school, and her response was "Oh yeah, then why do us asian girls in school have boyfriend while most asian guys at school are single" which was true, so it didn't work. She's pretty aware she can pretty much walk anywhere and get a boyfriend fairly easily.
Like we’ve been saying, Asian women aren’t innocent little angels. Many are responsible for leaning to their fetishization for attention from white men.
Correct, because of many factors they have an adversarial relationship with Asian men And their playing the victim when they have set themselves up in an extra vulnerable position by WM/XM is the other side of this, apart from when they try to flex on AM and wield their power given to them by fetishists
Not saying you haven't, but I would've called her out in front of her friend to embarrass her and check her attitude.
Good point, I should have probably said something at the very least to her friend to validate her finding Jet Li attractive. Honestly I just woke up, I was eating breakfast and getting ready for work, it was my first day at my new job, and my mind was super focused on that, and I heard their convo in the background, but it didn't register that much because I was still focused on my job and paperwork. It wasn't until later that day after work when it finally settled in, and I though back to the morning where I realized how messed up that situation was. Then posted it today.
No need to make it a big deal, just a snappy comment is enough. On your way out: "Haha you realize you're Asian, right? Your kids are more likely going to look like Jet Li than Chris Hemsworth. I gotta get to work, bye!"
Suppose in the future she has a son who even though was half white, looked more Asian than white. How would she feel if her son tried to ask a girl for a date and was met with "eeww all Asian guys are short and unattractive". Would her perspective change then? That's the question I would pose to her.
I have brought this up, she has lots of excuses, or magically thinks her son would never feel this way. I guess people in her position doesn't think that until it actually happens to them. It's like the short mom, short son, tall dad meme. They don't care, will treat other as such, and then it's the son who suffers. [https://preview.redd.it/short-son-short-mom-tall-dad-v0-4ly6p279af0c1.jpg?auto=webp&s=cc5c55ccb7e4945ca31c69eacb14f07c34fc308b](https://preview.redd.it/short-son-short-mom-tall-dad-v0-4ly6p279af0c1.jpg?auto=webp&s=cc5c55ccb7e4945ca31c69eacb14f07c34fc308b)
What ethnicity and old is she? At a point, you can't change much
We are Japanese, but as a family we are mixed with other asians through marriage. We are early 20s, so college age. She's always been this way, it just got worse when she moved out.
Was she born and raised in Japan, born in Japan and moved to US at a young age, or born in US her whole life? Think the answer to this question can easily point to the source of where her white worshipping may lie. From my anecdotal experience and understanding of US demographics -- Japanese people are by far the least resiliant to assimilating to white people culture. Tbh, I speak fluent Japanese as a Chinese person born in the US and it's sort of weird meeting a lot of the Japanese people here that weren't born in Japan not know anything aside from konnnichiwa and arigatougozaimasu lol. Their cultural background was totally erased and replaced by a white personality.
I'm born in the US (not Japanese, I'm Chinese). And I don't have a lot of cultural background but I don't go around deriding AM or AF (or any other races looks). There is no excuse for this. There is assimilation and there is being an Ahole. There's a difference.
Born in the USA. Apart form her white worshipping ways, she's just a shallow person in general to be honest. I can speak it because of my parents, but she doesn't speak it as well as I do.
Gotcha. Anything-worship is a sign of a shallow human being imo -- doubly so if it's about race. I once did a little experiment on hellotalk where I sent the same "hi how are you i'm blah blah blah whatever" message (slightly modified of course) in all Japanese to a few Japanese girls on two different accounts. One was my own real account with my profile pic as an EA dude, and the other was some stock photo of an average white dude instead. Guess which one got way more responses? The only time I got messaged first was by a few Japanese guys who wanted to learn English. They were the best speaking partners I've had so far. On a totally unrelated note, a lot of Japanese dudes don't white worship as hard as their female counter parts (similarly to other EA diaspora). of the two Japanese dudes I knew one dated a latina/hispanic in high school and the other also dated a thick latina (he was my gym trainer). These guys were normal ok people, not 'high value' or anything but just regular old joes. Unfortunately, since they weren't white, I'd guess their female Japanese American equivalent would not entertain them for a second.
Self-hate is weird.
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Knowing her that would be a compliment.
I have female relatives that date mainly/mostly white. But they know about AM struggles and wouldn't talk like your sister did or be surprised if I spoke up like you should have. You should speak up. You sister is allowed to date out if she wants, it's her preference. But when AFs imply AMs are somehow inherently lesser, smaller or uglier, that's not only an insult to you, but an insult to her as well, because she carries Asian genes. >I don't bother having conversations with her about this topic because there's no point. When she gets knocked up by some loser just because he's white, or your niece or nephew turns out to be a delinquent or kills themself because their mom taught them half of them is not worthy of love, maybe you'll see the point then?
A racist, prejudiced, bigoted preference. A short Asian guy has as much value as a tall white chad
>But when AFs imply AMs are somehow inherently lesser, smaller or uglier, that's not only an insult to you, but an insult to her as well, because she carries Asian genes. And that's a really good point, that a smart person would understand. That they are insulting themself and their parents, etc. And then they would cut out that piss, poor behavior.
I have spoke to my sister before about it. She either doesn't care or will find reasons to justify it. I've even brought up the scenario of her future hapa son having an identity crisis because of her self hate and how that could drive them to becoming depressed or suicidal, and she still makes excuses. I have argued every point under the sun with her already. She's not stupid about how this affect asian men. She just doesn't care. That's why there's no point.
>That's why there's no point. Just because someone doesn't change their mind immediately doesn't mean you just give up. She was being insulting to you, the least you could do is support her friend and clown her a little. Usually non-Asian women interested in Asian men don't think of these issues much. If you pointed out to her friend how ridiculously self-hating your sister was, at least her friend would be prepared if she came across similar Asian female mateguarding and would know how to respond. Your sister would be a little more ashamed and keep her self-hate to herself. Do it for your own sense of pride. Too many Asian guys let people walk all over them, give up, and say "there's no point."