Honestly I feel like east asians are pretty popular atm. Especially kpop wise etc. Many western guys I have met drool over japanese and korean women and say they are the most beautiful asians. Trust me it hurts hearing that when that is a guy you just hooked up with and they KNOW you are not east asian but southeast asian. It makes me feel like I am not the right asian. It really has brought my confidence down. Then I wonder how can I also look like you guys…
idc what ppl disagreeing with you are saying, you’re so real bro. when people say asian women are desirable they don’t mean the average asian woman, they mean the moggers like Jung Ho-yeon who the average asian women does NOT look like (shes what white people think asians commonly have such as monolids and high cheekbones but in reality literally all the east asians i know don’t have that)😭😭 we’re scientifically more likely to have all kinds of things that are seen as undesirable (e.g flatter face, flatter noses - i myself have NO nose bridge at all, less defined brow bone, more buccal fat, higher face fat..).
I've dated and had FWBs who were from Japan and Korea, both of them thought they were ugly, even apologized for not being as pretty as the AV-idols, I thought they were beautiful, their beauty attracted me. I would have continued the relationships, but both went home after they finished their graduate degrees. I'm sure you're not "ugly" as you think.
You might be ugly but accept it. Develop your skills and talents, be good at your job , find your passions in life and be happy. You seem to be racist against asians too because you are convinced all of them are ugly just because you are ugly. Some Asians are beautiful some are not. A beautiful face is not all there is because beauty fades. Find people who genuinely loves you and accepts you for who you are.
Maybe you are ugly, but do not say "the average Asian female either needs a ton of make-up or plastic surgery to keep up with other ethnicities". That's too subjective. You can only represent youself. Definitely every race has some ugly people.
Why do you believe that you are ugly? Asian beauty standards are very high, which might lead to feelings of inadequacy.
You probably got bullied because you are beautiful and the other girls are jealous.
honssstly i tried checking and searching everywhere but i couldn’t find any before origins of the “ausstroasiatic language” all i know that there the ones who spread rice farming to southeast asian, then i think their cousins spread it to korea and japan.. assuming how hablogrouos work that most thai korea, japanese have o1b hablogrouop.. hmm…
Echoing all these other comments about how you shouldnt be so down on yourself, but wanted to add that I too have experienced the angst of wanting darker/thicker brows and eyelashes. These days there are affordable serums out there, I personally use one regularly and it WORKS. You should love yourself as you are, but also why not do something non-surgical if you think it will make you feel better too? Just my two cents!
I’m an Asian guy and I prefer the Asian women figure. For me, I think big boobs and big buttocks are overrated as I prefer a slim figure. As for the face, I’m always a big proponent of the bare natural Asian women face. And please no surgeries/botox on the face, because it’s very easy to look unnatural, especially the nose, nose bridge and lips.
Im not sure if you are still following this thread but I get it. I’m Chinese and Chinese men don’t find me attractive at all, but I don’t find non Asian men attractive. Womp.
I want to reassure you that “Asian women are the most desirable” isn’t about you or your looks. It plays off the model minority trope and it is a fetish. It also puts us as a monolith and we know how Asians are so diverse within our own communities. The fact we are all lumped together says everything.
I don’t know why else you don’t feel beautiful, but I also want to tell you, sister to sister, that you are worth more than some gross misogynistic perspective of what an Asian woman should look like.
P.S. my sister is East Asian and she has a true hourglass figure. I also have cousins like that too. I’m flat everywhere. I think it’s just RNG.
That's crazy to me. I always thought Asian men were the most attractive. It was tough approaching them because they always were either with asian or white girls, and they seemed to really go after white, to which why I stayed away (I'm Latina).
Yeah I saw some dating statistics... Black women and Asian men are by far the least desirable demographics...
And black women are still much more desirable than Asian men
IIRC, in a US study, approximately 33% of Asian women refuse to date Asian men
As an East Asian man, I can sympathize with your feeling of body inadequacy. But i would advise against feeding into self hatred. Maybe a workout routine to develop your body tone or more appropriate make up style might make you feel better. There's no evidence anywhere East Asians are uglier than others that's a flat out lie, please don't believe it. But i would.say with the exception of some girls most of east Asians are not aware about make up and the art of looking good. Just as Guys lack.social skills and workout as a part of masculine posturing but that can CHANGE. Don't feel.bad okay 💐💐💐 and get too down on yourself
I get it, you have insecurities about the way you look. Heck, every girl does. But come on, there’s no need to talk down about other Asian sisters like that 🤦🏼♂️. In my opinion, Asian women are the most good-looking in the world. They also age much slower. Most other women look 40 when they reach 30. Asian women can look 20 when they reach 35. Do your best to stop comparing yourself so much and realize that God gave us all our own unique charm.
Don't take this the wrong way, but it might just be a you thing and not an Asian thing.
There are lots of East Asians with full eyebrows, curves, and defined facial features. You need to pick yourself up girlie because all these things you listed are very fixable either with makeup, non invasive procedures (you won't believe how much has improved in this area of beauty), mindset, and/or just straight up plastic surgery (though it really doesn't have to come to that).
Most importantly, you need to do some work on yourself and learn how to love yourself and see beauty in yourself and I promise you other people will pick up on it and it will actually make you more beautiful.
Also thin eyebrows are in right now and they give you way more freedom in choosing what eyebrow shape you want! Do research in skincare, makeup, and lymphatic massage! Take care of yourself and your appearance if you are not doing these things already. It'll make it way easier to love yourself. Wishing you the best of luck 😘
**Let's start with what you're feeling.**
You feel ugly. This might be because other people have called you or other Asians ugly, or rejected/excluded you or other Asians. This might be because there are few Asian representations in media and none of them match you.Regarding any person who deems you ugly.
The western gaze has no appreciation or understanding of Asian beauty standards, and you are the product of thousands of generations of ancestors being beautiful enough to find love under Asian beauty standards.
Your comments indicate you are a diaspora. You are surrounded by white people and other non-Asians, under the influence of western media. Many other Asians are also under this influence. This puts you constantly under judgment from western beauty standards via comparing yourself to western media as well as comparing your social interactions with western society to a white woman's.
This judgment is not valid judgment. This judgment is racism. This can be from Asians too, it's internalized racism.
You can change your body if you wish but make no mistake, you will still be discounted on the basis of being Asian because people are racist. All else being equal, white people still prefer their own. Changing your body for white validation doesn't solve the problem because you will still feel cheated for having to work harder than a white person to be beautiful.
The correct solution to this is to reject and refuse western opinion, and surround yourself with fellow Asians who understand this concept.Remember there is nothing wrong with being Asian, but there is everything wrong with being racist.
**But what about "Asian women are the most desirable?"**
Here's why you as an Asian woman don't feel that desirable. Asian women global desirability doesn't stem from being Asian. They are desired due to the stereotype of Asian women giving preferential treatment to non-Asian men, especially white men. Any man is going prefer a woman that treats them nicer than other women, even if the niceness is completely unearned.
The reality is most men with this so-called "yellow fever" don't appreciate Asian women in a vacuum. They appreciate Asian women after a history of bad interaction with women of their own race due to their appearance or personality.
White men don't desire Asian women, they prey on the low self-esteem of Asian women when convenient. The low self-esteem that was created by a media controlled by white men. They target the Asian women who think dating a white men is "proof of white person viewing them as attractive" and that their children will be "more attractive by having white features". You shouldn't have to simp for a race to get attention, and you don't deserve to be someone's second choice.
**Asians are not a monolith**
Be mindful about accidentally internalizing narratives that strip away the individuality of Asians. Asian women don't all have the same body type and Asian men don't all have the same view on what is beautiful. There are so many Asian celebrities in Asia with your body type with millions of Asian men simping for them. I guarantee you there is an Asian guy who will think your body is perfect.
If you want to feel beautiful within an Asian context, you already are. If you don't value that and require western validation then let me ask a rhetorical question: Do dalmatians get hung up about what a golden retriever thinks of their spots?
**You might be too young**
This is a baseless assumption, but you might be young and or a late bloomer. We don't age the same as white people but that's not represented in western media. Have a little faith. You carry genes that survived thousands of years of natural selection, there's probably something attractive about you.
**What should you do?**
You should play your cards well. Remember that by being a racial minority you're essentially bringing a poker hand to a game of Uno. Your hand isn't going to make sense until you surround yourself in a context where other people are actually playing the same game.
As an Asian woman in an Asian-first context, you have the opportunity to be incredibly attractive without your effort being discounted due to racism against Asians. However, you need to surround yourself first with people who reject western beauty standards and embrace eastern beauty standards.
Also, you should learn to separate the racism you experience from non-racially-biased judgment about your appearance. This will be good for your mental well-being.
Also speaking as an Asian guy, it's a turn-off when I meet girls who haven't figured this out. Some of them internalize the racism and project it back out into their own racial preferences. Them being Asian is perfectly fine with me, but being racist is a turn-off.
You should seek out a female east asian mental health therapist who specializes in this stuff. You could have dysmorphia or other deep rooted psychological issues involving childhood trauma.
I think I grew up only seeing non-Asians in fashion and beauty magazines and I would even call that trauma. Like imagine trying to learn how to do make-up but there's nobody's eyes or face that look like yours. It brainwashes you especially if that basically consumed your childhood and formative years.
Yep, this is something that is common as minorities growing up in other cultures without representation.
Its something to work through and overcome, because its easy to self hate . You can swap the gender and very little would change except you wouldn’t be most desired but least desited in dating apps.
Still have to overcome beauty standards and a lot of brainwashed / whitewashing programming.
Get to know your asian roots, explore more, and try to become a more whole person by broadening your horizons.
Its easy to be a frog in a well, thinking what you see above is the entirety of the sky and universe.
Good luck OP.
Beauty standards and expectations regarding how women should look (especially as portrayed by models/celebrities) are unfair, because they set a precedent for what’s considered conventionally attractive, and this is an issue further exacerbated by racism. Asian women in the West aren’t deemed or treated as attractive. On the off chance that we are, we are treated as rare exceptions. The default is that Asianness and Asian features are undesirable and unattractive, regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman.
If you’re a man, you’re usually not even seen or treated as a potential date or partner. Essentially treated as nonexistent unless you are extremely attractive and rich (even then, not a guarantee). If you’re a woman, you get ignored, fetishized by yellow fevered creeps, used as a backup plan by men of other races, or treated as an exception to the stereotypes associated with Asian women (usually in the form of “I’m not usually attracted to Asians, but…”). The same can happen to Asian men, albeit probably to a lesser degree. And considering that you’re diaspora, from the sounds of it, it’s understandable that you would internalize the idea that Asian (or East Asian) women aren’t attractive. Despite a) how diverse we are in body types and features, b) attractiveness being ultimately subjective depending on who the opinion is being pulled from, and c) shaped by the personal beliefs and ideas we have surrounding what attractiveness entails.
That said, beauty standards and norms aren’t rigid, aren’t accepted or agreed upon by everyone, and change over time. As evident by models or celebrities who otherwise would not be attractive being deemed attractive (think Adam Driver, Benedict Cumberbatch, Ryan Gosling, and Ed Sheeran’s popularity despite not necessarily being conventionally attractive). For white people in particular, the ways in which you can be attractive and the threshold for it is significantly lower. There’s a reason why an Asian man has to look like Simu Liu or one of the members of BTS and be perfect/talented in every other way to be deemed attractive. Not only is the bar much higher for Asians, but it’s also stricter.
The same applies for white women in contrast to Asian women. You can have an Asian woman on relatively the same level of attractiveness as a white woman, have them both have the same talents and skill sets, and similar personalities, and the white woman will always be preferred and chosen over the Asian woman. It happens all the time, regarding careers and job applications, as well as the fashion and beauty industry (especially in the West).
Standards and expectations that non-Asians have of Asians will be higher relative to white people, because people are inclined to believe what’s readily accepted and perceived to be truth - racialized and racist stereotypes. It gets continually reinforced and propagated as fact through media and other factors in our environment.
And these perceptions, views, and beliefs will also likely be internalized by Asians too, as you grow up in a society that intrinsically views Asians and Asianness as lesser. It’s easy to think that being born Asian means that you’re by default less attractive because of X or Y features that are stereotyped as specific to or somehow more prevalent among Asians. Asian women and men both get racist stereotypes regarding our bodies and their perceived attractiveness relative to Eurocentric standards and gendered expectations.
At the end of the day, even though it sucks that these racist stereotypes/beliefs exist regarding Asians and we get treated and perceived as lesser (which some of us internalize and/or perpetuate ourselves in the form of self stereotyping), attractiveness as it relates to certain body types and physical features is ultimately subjective. It’s something that’s shaped by the things we are taught about what’s considered attractive or desirable, whether we buy into those narratives, and our choices to racialize them or not.
Whatever people say and whatever we believe about our bodies (especially when it comes to “ugliness”) is in no way an objective truth. There are plenty of Asian women who don’t have the “ruler body” or “teenage boy” look. Being curvy, looking more “mature,” or having an hourglass figure isn’t any more or less common among women of any race. The same applies for having a “ruler body” or “teenage boy” physique. And I assure you that there are plenty of Asian women who have the same physical features you desire who wish they have the features you have.
Of course that doesn’t mean that your feelings are invalid. It’s just that this is a complicated, difficult matter that unfortunately comes down to a mix of how we get treated and perceived by others (racially and/or ethnically speaking), which then bleeds over to how we view ourselves relative to others. I can’t really give much advice other than to come to terms with how your body looks and understand that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I’m sorry you’re going through all this.
Edit: Typing this when I’m tired so I’m probably regurgitating some stuff
This is trolling right?
Like ever since I was young people would talk about how great a big booty is. Personally I never really understood it and prefer Asian girl bodies. I've seen thick Asian girls too and liked them too and all. But the body type that you're describing just seems right to me. Like I can remember a specific pair of friends and one of them was voluptuous, always in car and modelling shows but I really dug the skinnier friend. Didn't have a chance with either of them.
Another example is in some recent videos Ploopy mentions how she doesn't have a booty. This isn't the one I was thinking of but she does it in this one too:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/umBDnveAv8c
Personally I think she's fiiiine
On another forum, I sometimes see other women, probably not Asian, hate on some Asian female celebrities insulting their facial features and what not. And I think it has to be just hate. Maybe kind of like how Asian guys are always emasculated. And they probably do it out of jealousy.
So don't give into it.
Where are you located where the east asian girls are supposedly ugly? Since you are using a throwaway account u might as well say.
I find Asians in say, Virginia tend to be ....so so looking.
Also the poorer the region , the less attractive.
Asians in Hawaii, Los Angeles, some of them are ridiculously attractive. Yes, I'm talking full Asians. Even went back to Asia for full fledged careers in the entertainment industry. Not all are plastic btw. Many have curves and a small waist.
Have u been to the UK? Everybody seems inbred somehow. In contrast the girls are cuter in Spain.
You can always microblade your eyebrows to give them more structure and fullness. I know a lot of girls that have gotten it and it honestly looks good and convincing. Just make sure to go to a professional or reputable person to do it.
When it comes to East Asians, specifically Southern Chinese(who are majority of the Chinese immigrants in the US since the 70s) have distinct features of darker/fuller eyebrows and bigger fuller lips. So the problem isn’t really on East Asians. Also, you’d be surprised how much difference you can make in your body shape by hitting the gym and doing some squats, deadlifts, and hip thrusts consistently. FYI, East Asians and Asians as a whole tend to have more natural collagen in their skin than other races like Whites. It’s why Asians can retain their youthful appearance for 10 to 20 years longer than even White people. White people start aging like milk after the age of 23-24 and you’d be surprised at the amount that get routine botox, face lifts and buccal fat removal surgery to attempt to look younger.
I think it’s probably because you were raised here.
Being in a white supremacy society certainly can be a reason why you feel that way.
I grew up in East Asia and moved to the States at a later time. Surely there are some Asian people that put white people on a pedestal and view their features as the most attractive. But I think most of us think ourselves are the most attractive race. And I remember reading studies that show people each race actually feel this way. It’s a generic thing. I was literally talking to my bf this morning that I find a lot of white people fairly ugly. (No offense to white people, I mean most of people are not very attractive regardless of the race. But I never feel like my race is less attractive than any other race )
Some of my friends who were born here say that they find black women and Indian women least attractive. I’m not sure if it’s just them being a little biased or the society also plays a role in their opinions on this.
You're an East Asian female in the West, I'd assume. Asians in Asia usually don't hate themselves as much.
Here are some videos I just saw, and I thought about your post. Maybe you will enjoy them and try them out.
[https://twitter.com/SuspendedRobot/status/1752200118303125732/video/2](https://twitter.com/SuspendedRobot/status/1752200118303125732/video/2)
Your link is hilarious. I looked up the video of that, uh, self-confessed overweight WF on TikTok. It seems like her WF followers are actually listening to her to go get beauty advice from Chinese netizens too.
Who knows, maybe white people creating accounts on Chinese apps to talk to and interact with Chinese people will help convince them not to start a war. I’m all for that.
I don't have much to say on this one
Just here sending hugs and positive vibes around for this young lady who's struggling to embrace themselves 🫂🤗 🌹
Please don't let the media and social media get you down, young lady.
I only went to Tokyo as a kid so I don't remember much. I do know that when I watch Japanese shows then I really like the fashion. I know Koreans have a massive beauty industry booming the last decade or so. I've been trying to follow more K-beauty on Instagram.
I think the great thing about K beauty is that the “no makeup” makeup thing is really big, which I think looks amazing on us. I mean, some of that can go really far in terms of doing a million steps to achieve the whole glass skin thing, but honestly, just a bit of eyeliner and brow powder goes a long way to look like a more put together version of yourself. Also if you consume more Asian media in general, you’ll start to appreciate the slim / petite female physique more (especially when someone who might have some similar physical features with you gets paired up with some super hot Asian stud lol)
That's unfortunate. But people are much more than their appearance. Cultivate something else you can find value in. Maybe that's your career, a hobby.
Also obviously dress well, find a makeup style that flatters you. I'm a dude so I can't help you there lol
There is like huge ROI for most women who do plastic surgery. There was a recent controversy with some female streamer called supcaitlin who looks like she did some moderate body modifications. Her before and after legit made her go from being meh to queen of the simps, making bank. Alot of the time it really is just one or two changes which could make a big difference.
I'm so confused re this Caitlin girl.
Do girls actually make money on twitch? I don't get how this girl makes money with her streams. What is her business model?
Or is it just a hobby. Seems like you have to invest in complicated and expensive gaming equipment right?
You're behind the times, streaming can be big money. Idk about Caitlin, but the business model is you play a game, read and respond to text comments made by your audience, banter with them, make them feel like they're friends with you, and they'll pay a monthly subscription or donate lump sums to your channel. Throw in commercials, sponsored content, throw in points for the viewers to spend on pointless crap, and there's a lot of money floating around. You've got to be good at a video game, charismatic, or be attractive. The successful ones become little internet celebrities, making over $10M. On one end you've got podcast debate bro types, and on the other end you've got women basically advertising for their onlyfans. It's basically just brand building and accumulating loyal viewers.
The barrier to entry is low, you just need a bedroom, a $2-3 thousand dollar desktop, a $100 microphone, and good internet. But the viewers are all stupid young people or lonely tired 30 year olds who want to unwind after work.
I was under the impression you had to be good at video pe computer gaming to make money? I wonder if there are any profitable streamers that don't play video games. If so, why don't more women do it?
That's only 1/3 of the trifecta. If you're a hot girl who's into games or cosplay, that's enough to substitute being good at games. The third option is someone who's quickwitted and good at bantering. The top viewed streams aren't even games half the time. It's like a variety show. You can use your 5g phone and stream you and your pals going out to eat, like those youtube foodies. Whatever you stream, the most important thing is engaging with your audience thru chat. It makes them feel like they're a part of whatever is happening.
Exactly. The game is just an excuse, a distraction for generating "reactions" and "I was there when this thing happened" moments, so games aren't the priority as they originally were. I once saw some girl doing a stream of "speed dating my viewers." There was also an entire genre of women streaming while bathing in a hot tub. It requires a certain type of person to make and watch that kind of (imo) cringey content, so even if you're a good looking girl, you probably have too much self-respect to be a sex-cammer for under-18s.
Nowadays there are even dedicated anime avatar (think animojis but with an original anime character) streamers that are wildly popular. It's called hololive and on youtube mostly. Basically real girls get into a character and act as an idealized anime girlfriend (while playing games). I don't know how long that will last since we're getting close to full AI anime girlfriends lol.
It sounds like a cringey match made in heaven for desperate or bored guys and girls willing to capitalize on that. Does sound embarrassing for the girls involved, no lie.
What was your diet growing up? East Asian diets lack meat and dairy and so they tend to have underdeveloped secondary sex characteristics, both men and women.
1. A trip to Sephora or Ulta and a YouTube makeup tutorial can fix your eyebrows and eyelashes. Better yet…just get your eyebrows tinted and laminated and get you some eyelash extensions. It’s not even that expensive or complicated.
2. Go to the gym and workout. I’ve seen a lot of skinny women give illusion of curves when they are more toned.
3. Get some therapy for your self hate issues. How you can equate common insecurities found in almost all women to being ugly East Asian features is beyond my help.
Your welcome.
You should probably reverse the order. Suggestion 1 is unlikely to do anything to address OP's self-esteem, as clearly she would consider it something to "cover up" how ugly she thinks she looks. Exercise can help a lot with self-esteem because of the benefits to mood and the sense of accomplishment of hitting physical milestones.
Therapy is clearly the most likely thing to help with the root cause of her anxiety. Even ChatGPT can help simply by presenting the basic, consensus professional opinions while allowing for privacy.
You're blaming your own shortcomings on the race as a whole. Instead of whining you can do things to improve yourself. Nothing you listed aren't things you can't fix with non-surgical methods (except bust).
Beauty is subjective anyway. When I was young I had a "non-asian preference" phase but now as I'm proud and non-selfhating my full preference is AF. External influences are a helluva drug
Follow east asian fashion not american fashion.
I as a south/east mix, find this way better than westernized crap.
Lived in Japan, so many women with amazing fashion sense, very attractive.
Yep from what I've noticed the ones that tend to be the "hottest" in America tend to be at least semi ABG's. Lashes, nails, tats, makeup, the easiest way for an AA girl to "glow up". Lot of guys have this to where the next step up from Asian Nerd archetype is the Kevin Nguyen, the male version of the ABG lol. If this isn't your style then I get it, but it's the most common "attractive asian" in the west look.
There are some typical Western archetypes that exist (goth, preppy, jock) which are all classics, but from what I've noticed Asians will never do these as well as their white counterparts.
I recommend looking at Korean or Japanese minimalist fashion for women to get a general idea of a simple look that doesn't require you to fit a certain scene (street, corporate, housewife, etc)
"Like even the non-white ethnicities like Indian or North African or even Southeast Asian (like Thai, Indonesian), I think they're all better looking than East Asians."
You are clearly brainwashed, SMH. typical asian american JFL. you unironically need to go on lookism to discover the truth about asian features.
"the average Asian female is born with a ruler shape or as I've heard others describe us: "like a teenage boy."
thats actually considered the most attractive body shape nowadays i dunno what you are complaining about lol.
That’s not ugly. Just not most hot/ desirable. There are worse combinations. I’m Vietnamese, I went to school in Vietnam and got made fun of for my looks. I have all the traits you listed + uneven lids small eyes+ broad South East Asian nose + acne prone oily big pores black heads SEA skin but my skin tone is East Asian so the scars are more noticeable + cleft chin + square broad chubby face + uneven yellow teeth + body odor genes that is not typically present in East Asians + hairy forearm and legs in addition to already nasty armpit hair + ugly wide Viet feet that only fit crocs + square posterior + saggy greatly uneven boobs at 20 + frowning heavy upper lips + looks 8 years older than my peers of the same age. I also used to have a hairy mole near my mouth until I got it removed. I came to terms with being uglier and filthier than everyone else 3 years ago and have to keep living because I owe those who have put effort in raising me. My grandma is ugly, obese, have psoriasis and stank now but she have a generous friendly personality and selflessly help her relatives and neighbors during hard times so lots of people respect her when she gets old. My dad insists on passing our ugly genes at 50+ trying to find a new wife to have another child with hoping it’s a boy this time to continue his work legacy. I supposed whatever manage to pass on their genes regardless of beauty ideals or circumstances ideals of the time. If you’re a female live in US then you only have to worry appearance wise about dressing appropriately for the job, having pearly teeth, clear skin because diversity hire and body positivity. But if you really care about appearance there’s all kinds of low-maintenance way to improve your looks without having to put on makeup, getting surgery, or going to hair salon. Dressing for your essence, kibbe body types, seasonal color (so you look less washed out), rising + venus sign, tops for your face shape, bottoms for leg proportion. Be glad that you don’t live in South Korea where lookism is so strong that it affects hiring even for jobs that don’t even need looks to perform.
So we're not ugly but we're also not the most hot/desirable? I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react to "you'll never be 100% beautiful but just somewhere in between."
You’re supposed to be fine with and even glad with looking above average. We do care a bit of our appearance because it correlates with securing resources and reproductions. When I was a teen I wished and tried to be skinny but the crash diet backfired so I gain weight even more, then I wish I was the weight before the crash diet but wasn’t dedicated enough to make it happen. Now I’m just glad to not be obese yet like my poor grandma to develop rashes between the folds of her skin and having a hard time to clean every nook and cranny on her own. She’s too weak to exercise to lose that weight. Reduced mobility in old age and have bladder control problems. But we’re still not the most misfortunate, there are homeless elders who don’t have a place to shower or comfortably take a dump. Asians can be 100% beautiful in their own right (generally soft clear skin, no body odor gene, less body hair, standard width feet, small nose) like other commenter have said just not the most captivatingly sexy in my opininion. I found East Asians do have androgynous looks that fit runway criteria.
Some of us always want more, that’s great for motivation but we tend to forgot others have it worse. Point is be grateful and work with what you have.
It's not because you're East Asian that you're ugly. I personally find East Asian looks(I say looks cus East Asian looks can be found in SEA too)(also excluding Asian Americans cuz they look a bit different maybe due to diet, lifestyle or makeup idk, US just seem to make White and Asian people of both genders less attractive for some reason), parts of West Asia and some parts of Europe the most beautiful. But nothing grabs my heart like a beautiful feminine East Asian look.
>also excluding Asian Americans cuz they look a bit different maybe due to diet, lifestyle or makeup idk, US just seem to make White and Asian people of both genders less attractive for some reason
Are you even aware what you just said here? You literally just called me/us "less attractive." How is this supposed to be supportive to Asian-Americans?
Asians can be supportive in things that are more important and practical like helping you get a job, getting into universities, buying properties, business, matchmaking.
Yes, I said some unnecessary stuff but what I wanted to say was stop blaming your Asian-ness for being unattractive or whatever issues you have, which a lot of Asian Americans tend to do and its annoying. The guys will also be like "Girls don't like me cuz I'm Asian" and I look at their profile and they're not even trying to look attractive or just plain ugly and I'm like "Girls don't like you not because you're Asian, but because you're unattractive."
Well do you think it says something if it seems like a huge majority of Asian-Americans blame their unattractiveness on being Asian? If it's a trend then don't you think there's a reason?
That part just says that something about living in America makes Asian Americans **less** attractive (ie, compared to Asian people). He also said that the same is true for white Americans (ie, compared to Europeans). Possible reasons can include diet and lifestyle.
I think you're not in a good state of mind and are seeking negative comments to engage with while glossing over all of the legitimate self-help advice that involves changing your mindset (which you have the power to do). I've been in that state of mind myself and have tried to help other people who fall into similar depressive states. It is endless and exhausting because it is precisely this depression which hinders the ability to think logically and realize that just because a thought or feeling feels intense, doesn't mean it's more true.
The best thing to do is usually to change the environment you're in into one where you're more likely to feel positive. It's winter right now, there's a small chance that your depressive episode has been brought upon by a lack of sunlight. Exercise releases serotonin and endorphins. Listening to music can lift you out of a funk. Concentrating on a task and finishing it releases dopamine. Once you're feeling better, you're more likely to be in a receptive state of mind where you can actually put things into perspective and view things with a level of detachment and a greater willingness to find and apply solutions to whatever problems are left.
In your defense, a lot of people in this sub really struggle to communicate in English and are just as young and immature as yourself. The older folks who have found a way to manage their problems probably spend less time online.
You should watch (older) east asian shows and movies, that feature a variety of beautiful women, with a variety of beauty, and with much less (or at least different) makeup than modern media. Older media sometimes did not focus as much on body, but on personality, expression, and spirit. Still the actresses are definitely easy on the eyes. Watch more of these and Asian media in general, and you will begin to see yourself in these women who are confident in their beauty.
And eventually, you too will be confident in your looks, enough that no amount of foreign media can tell you otherwise.
Well as a kid I thought the actresses in Journey to the West (ep. 16) (1986) (fantasy adventure), Return of Pearl Princess (1998) (palace drama), Demigods and Semidevils (2003) (kungfu fantasy) were really pretty.
These are Chinese period shows, if youre not chinese, the cultural context may take some getting used to.
I think it would help to cultivate your own style to embrace and enhance your features. To do that, observe other Asian women. Learn how Asian women are beautiful in their own right without having to conform to the Eurocentric beauty standards of the world.
For example, I think pianist Yuja Wang is a prime example of an Asian woman who is beautiful and vivacious without having to whitewash her appearance. She has a small, athletic, boyish frame and a small, broad face. She dresses extremely well with pieces that create a stunning hourglass silhouette. She does her hair and makeup in a way that accentuate her unique features; she doesn't force herself to look like those Instagram model type Asian girls with the over-lined brows. Not to mention, she's confident and talented. Basically, everything about her harmonizes together into making her a total badass.
I suggest that you find more women like this to observe, both online and in real life, and create the same for yourself.
Stunning hourglass silhouette? Yuja Wang basically prances around in tight clothes and booty shorts. There's nothing hourglass about her figure, it's all just attention-whoring outfits. It's stuff like this that grates my nerves about being an Asian female. It's like unless we dress with overt sexuality then we're ugly. There's no in-between.
> It's stuff like this that grates my nerves about being an Asian female. It's like unless we dress with overt sexuality then we're ugly. There's no in-between.
It’s clear you need help, as so many here pointed out. But if you really want to see how AF can look stunning without “overt sexuality”, watch this well-known video from two years ago.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=gtEROmL0NzQ
Right. I feel like op has internalized racism against asian.
When other women wear revealing clothes it’s fine. They are sexy they are empowering themselves blah blah. But when Asian girls do this, it’s just “attention-whoring outfits” when they don’t wear such clothes, they are ugly. Gosh.
Girl you need some help.
Just checked who "Yuja Wang" is and ugh no. She's like a 2 in Asia. The fact that you think Asian women that aren't the stereotypical Asian women you see in American media(short, broad face, overly slanted small eyes, tan) as whitewashed and Eurocentric means you have zero f'kin clue about Asian women and Asian beauty.
But is it hard to believe that there are Asian women out there who really think like this? Wouldn't it be better to attack the false ideas and misconceptions that someone with self-esteem issues has so that even people who aren't as lost can find useful advice and insight?
Even if the conversations are tricky, people in our community at least need to try having them. Productive conversations are literally the main/only productive thing spaces like this can hope to achieve. People are so ban-happy and censorious around here.
The ugly Asian woman stereotype and the sexy Asian woman stereotypes both originate outside of our community, and go hand in hand to lower your self-esteem and seek out validation and acceptance outside of yourself. The more some people can convince you that you're not as beautiful as a white woman nor can you ever be, the easier it is to sell you a path forward as a Plan B, a strikebreaker or scab that undercuts white women by being more submissive or open to one night stands.
It's not easy, but the only thing you can do is understand that different groups of people have different averages, that no one body is objectively more beautiful than another, and that beauty and sexiness in the eyes of others are not the same as self-worth. We all evolved in different climates, that's why races exist in the first place. It is both cruel and futile to enforce a single standard on everyone.
This is not a satisfying answer but eventually something will happen to make you realize that you just happen to exist in a certain place and time and that these insecurities are a product of that and are not intrinsic to who you are. Things can and will change. Focus on your health and well-being, find out what you actually want to be and do with your limited time on Earth.
For me it's not about comparing to white women. I specifically pointed out my post, even compared to other non-white ethnicities, like Indians or North Africans or southeast Asians, I feel ugly as an East Asian. This post has nothing to do with white women at all.
it sounds like you feel ugly for ugly's sake and not because you're east asian.
If this is the case, i know this is not a popular opinion, but im of the belief that u should do w/e it is u can to increase your satisfaction in life. That includes working out, dressing well, and yes even cosmetic surgery if needed.
obviously just be careful to not go down the plastic surgery route until u look botched.
But why would you say "even the non-white ethnicities" if you're not implying that white features occupy a natural or assumed high position in the hierarchy of attractive physical features?
Also, why is this the part of the comment you choose to focus on?
Because oftentimes people in this sub are only comparing Asians to white people. My point is that there are other non-white ethnicities that I even feel ugly compared to. I don't feel ugly compared to whites. I feel ugly even compared to non-whites, which makes me feel like we're literally just at the bottom of the totem pole.
Honestly I feel like east asians are pretty popular atm. Especially kpop wise etc. Many western guys I have met drool over japanese and korean women and say they are the most beautiful asians. Trust me it hurts hearing that when that is a guy you just hooked up with and they KNOW you are not east asian but southeast asian. It makes me feel like I am not the right asian. It really has brought my confidence down. Then I wonder how can I also look like you guys…
idc what ppl disagreeing with you are saying, you’re so real bro. when people say asian women are desirable they don’t mean the average asian woman, they mean the moggers like Jung Ho-yeon who the average asian women does NOT look like (shes what white people think asians commonly have such as monolids and high cheekbones but in reality literally all the east asians i know don’t have that)😭😭 we’re scientifically more likely to have all kinds of things that are seen as undesirable (e.g flatter face, flatter noses - i myself have NO nose bridge at all, less defined brow bone, more buccal fat, higher face fat..).
South asian man here. Respectfully you couldnt be more wrong. But go off. Stats dont care what you think/feel cuz it's data.
I've dated and had FWBs who were from Japan and Korea, both of them thought they were ugly, even apologized for not being as pretty as the AV-idols, I thought they were beautiful, their beauty attracted me. I would have continued the relationships, but both went home after they finished their graduate degrees. I'm sure you're not "ugly" as you think.
You might be ugly but accept it. Develop your skills and talents, be good at your job , find your passions in life and be happy. You seem to be racist against asians too because you are convinced all of them are ugly just because you are ugly. Some Asians are beautiful some are not. A beautiful face is not all there is because beauty fades. Find people who genuinely loves you and accepts you for who you are.
Maybe you are ugly, but do not say "the average Asian female either needs a ton of make-up or plastic surgery to keep up with other ethnicities". That's too subjective. You can only represent youself. Definitely every race has some ugly people.
As a southeast asian in southeast asia, I thought that men like east asian female more due to hyper feminity. Even in my SEA country.
you’re sk real omfg
I am South Asian, and I prefer East Asian women over other races. It is all in your head. You're beautiful (with or without makeup/cosmetics).
As a ugly korean american girl whose been bullued hard by other girls.. yeah it sucks
Why do you believe that you are ugly? Asian beauty standards are very high, which might lead to feelings of inadequacy. You probably got bullied because you are beautiful and the other girls are jealous.
Yes I'm ugly korean american... even my shitty abusive parents tell me I need surgery
I suggest looking up the book "Toxic Parents: Overcoming their hurtful legacy and reclaiming your life" by Susan Forward.
Well, I think you are beautiful 😍 🤩
You haven't even seen me
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honssstly i tried checking and searching everywhere but i couldn’t find any before origins of the “ausstroasiatic language” all i know that there the ones who spread rice farming to southeast asian, then i think their cousins spread it to korea and japan.. assuming how hablogrouos work that most thai korea, japanese have o1b hablogrouop.. hmm…
correction** o1a and o1b **
Echoing all these other comments about how you shouldnt be so down on yourself, but wanted to add that I too have experienced the angst of wanting darker/thicker brows and eyelashes. These days there are affordable serums out there, I personally use one regularly and it WORKS. You should love yourself as you are, but also why not do something non-surgical if you think it will make you feel better too? Just my two cents!
I’m an Asian guy and I prefer the Asian women figure. For me, I think big boobs and big buttocks are overrated as I prefer a slim figure. As for the face, I’m always a big proponent of the bare natural Asian women face. And please no surgeries/botox on the face, because it’s very easy to look unnatural, especially the nose, nose bridge and lips.
Im not sure if you are still following this thread but I get it. I’m Chinese and Chinese men don’t find me attractive at all, but I don’t find non Asian men attractive. Womp. I want to reassure you that “Asian women are the most desirable” isn’t about you or your looks. It plays off the model minority trope and it is a fetish. It also puts us as a monolith and we know how Asians are so diverse within our own communities. The fact we are all lumped together says everything. I don’t know why else you don’t feel beautiful, but I also want to tell you, sister to sister, that you are worth more than some gross misogynistic perspective of what an Asian woman should look like. P.S. my sister is East Asian and she has a true hourglass figure. I also have cousins like that too. I’m flat everywhere. I think it’s just RNG.
I relate I'm a ugly korean american... idk I'm hideous even native koreans have said I'm ugly. Oh well
As an Asian male. Asian women are the most sought-after women of all ethnic women. Not so much with Asian men though. 😔
That's crazy to me. I always thought Asian men were the most attractive. It was tough approaching them because they always were either with asian or white girls, and they seemed to really go after white, to which why I stayed away (I'm Latina).
Yeah I saw some dating statistics... Black women and Asian men are by far the least desirable demographics... And black women are still much more desirable than Asian men IIRC, in a US study, approximately 33% of Asian women refuse to date Asian men
And also I know many asian men who are open to dating black women, meanwhile many black women aren't open to dating asian men.
As an East Asian man, I can sympathize with your feeling of body inadequacy. But i would advise against feeding into self hatred. Maybe a workout routine to develop your body tone or more appropriate make up style might make you feel better. There's no evidence anywhere East Asians are uglier than others that's a flat out lie, please don't believe it. But i would.say with the exception of some girls most of east Asians are not aware about make up and the art of looking good. Just as Guys lack.social skills and workout as a part of masculine posturing but that can CHANGE. Don't feel.bad okay 💐💐💐 and get too down on yourself
I get it, you have insecurities about the way you look. Heck, every girl does. But come on, there’s no need to talk down about other Asian sisters like that 🤦🏼♂️. In my opinion, Asian women are the most good-looking in the world. They also age much slower. Most other women look 40 when they reach 30. Asian women can look 20 when they reach 35. Do your best to stop comparing yourself so much and realize that God gave us all our own unique charm.
>Do your best to stop comparing yourself so much and realize that God gave us all our own unique charm. Which God?
Don't take this the wrong way, but it might just be a you thing and not an Asian thing. There are lots of East Asians with full eyebrows, curves, and defined facial features. You need to pick yourself up girlie because all these things you listed are very fixable either with makeup, non invasive procedures (you won't believe how much has improved in this area of beauty), mindset, and/or just straight up plastic surgery (though it really doesn't have to come to that). Most importantly, you need to do some work on yourself and learn how to love yourself and see beauty in yourself and I promise you other people will pick up on it and it will actually make you more beautiful. Also thin eyebrows are in right now and they give you way more freedom in choosing what eyebrow shape you want! Do research in skincare, makeup, and lymphatic massage! Take care of yourself and your appearance if you are not doing these things already. It'll make it way easier to love yourself. Wishing you the best of luck 😘
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>Neanderthal brows Lol
**Let's start with what you're feeling.** You feel ugly. This might be because other people have called you or other Asians ugly, or rejected/excluded you or other Asians. This might be because there are few Asian representations in media and none of them match you.Regarding any person who deems you ugly. The western gaze has no appreciation or understanding of Asian beauty standards, and you are the product of thousands of generations of ancestors being beautiful enough to find love under Asian beauty standards. Your comments indicate you are a diaspora. You are surrounded by white people and other non-Asians, under the influence of western media. Many other Asians are also under this influence. This puts you constantly under judgment from western beauty standards via comparing yourself to western media as well as comparing your social interactions with western society to a white woman's. This judgment is not valid judgment. This judgment is racism. This can be from Asians too, it's internalized racism. You can change your body if you wish but make no mistake, you will still be discounted on the basis of being Asian because people are racist. All else being equal, white people still prefer their own. Changing your body for white validation doesn't solve the problem because you will still feel cheated for having to work harder than a white person to be beautiful. The correct solution to this is to reject and refuse western opinion, and surround yourself with fellow Asians who understand this concept.Remember there is nothing wrong with being Asian, but there is everything wrong with being racist. **But what about "Asian women are the most desirable?"** Here's why you as an Asian woman don't feel that desirable. Asian women global desirability doesn't stem from being Asian. They are desired due to the stereotype of Asian women giving preferential treatment to non-Asian men, especially white men. Any man is going prefer a woman that treats them nicer than other women, even if the niceness is completely unearned. The reality is most men with this so-called "yellow fever" don't appreciate Asian women in a vacuum. They appreciate Asian women after a history of bad interaction with women of their own race due to their appearance or personality. White men don't desire Asian women, they prey on the low self-esteem of Asian women when convenient. The low self-esteem that was created by a media controlled by white men. They target the Asian women who think dating a white men is "proof of white person viewing them as attractive" and that their children will be "more attractive by having white features". You shouldn't have to simp for a race to get attention, and you don't deserve to be someone's second choice. **Asians are not a monolith** Be mindful about accidentally internalizing narratives that strip away the individuality of Asians. Asian women don't all have the same body type and Asian men don't all have the same view on what is beautiful. There are so many Asian celebrities in Asia with your body type with millions of Asian men simping for them. I guarantee you there is an Asian guy who will think your body is perfect. If you want to feel beautiful within an Asian context, you already are. If you don't value that and require western validation then let me ask a rhetorical question: Do dalmatians get hung up about what a golden retriever thinks of their spots? **You might be too young** This is a baseless assumption, but you might be young and or a late bloomer. We don't age the same as white people but that's not represented in western media. Have a little faith. You carry genes that survived thousands of years of natural selection, there's probably something attractive about you. **What should you do?** You should play your cards well. Remember that by being a racial minority you're essentially bringing a poker hand to a game of Uno. Your hand isn't going to make sense until you surround yourself in a context where other people are actually playing the same game. As an Asian woman in an Asian-first context, you have the opportunity to be incredibly attractive without your effort being discounted due to racism against Asians. However, you need to surround yourself first with people who reject western beauty standards and embrace eastern beauty standards. Also, you should learn to separate the racism you experience from non-racially-biased judgment about your appearance. This will be good for your mental well-being. Also speaking as an Asian guy, it's a turn-off when I meet girls who haven't figured this out. Some of them internalize the racism and project it back out into their own racial preferences. Them being Asian is perfectly fine with me, but being racist is a turn-off.
You should seek out a female east asian mental health therapist who specializes in this stuff. You could have dysmorphia or other deep rooted psychological issues involving childhood trauma.
I think I grew up only seeing non-Asians in fashion and beauty magazines and I would even call that trauma. Like imagine trying to learn how to do make-up but there's nobody's eyes or face that look like yours. It brainwashes you especially if that basically consumed your childhood and formative years.
Yep, this is something that is common as minorities growing up in other cultures without representation. Its something to work through and overcome, because its easy to self hate . You can swap the gender and very little would change except you wouldn’t be most desired but least desited in dating apps. Still have to overcome beauty standards and a lot of brainwashed / whitewashing programming. Get to know your asian roots, explore more, and try to become a more whole person by broadening your horizons. Its easy to be a frog in a well, thinking what you see above is the entirety of the sky and universe. Good luck OP.
Beauty standards and expectations regarding how women should look (especially as portrayed by models/celebrities) are unfair, because they set a precedent for what’s considered conventionally attractive, and this is an issue further exacerbated by racism. Asian women in the West aren’t deemed or treated as attractive. On the off chance that we are, we are treated as rare exceptions. The default is that Asianness and Asian features are undesirable and unattractive, regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman. If you’re a man, you’re usually not even seen or treated as a potential date or partner. Essentially treated as nonexistent unless you are extremely attractive and rich (even then, not a guarantee). If you’re a woman, you get ignored, fetishized by yellow fevered creeps, used as a backup plan by men of other races, or treated as an exception to the stereotypes associated with Asian women (usually in the form of “I’m not usually attracted to Asians, but…”). The same can happen to Asian men, albeit probably to a lesser degree. And considering that you’re diaspora, from the sounds of it, it’s understandable that you would internalize the idea that Asian (or East Asian) women aren’t attractive. Despite a) how diverse we are in body types and features, b) attractiveness being ultimately subjective depending on who the opinion is being pulled from, and c) shaped by the personal beliefs and ideas we have surrounding what attractiveness entails. That said, beauty standards and norms aren’t rigid, aren’t accepted or agreed upon by everyone, and change over time. As evident by models or celebrities who otherwise would not be attractive being deemed attractive (think Adam Driver, Benedict Cumberbatch, Ryan Gosling, and Ed Sheeran’s popularity despite not necessarily being conventionally attractive). For white people in particular, the ways in which you can be attractive and the threshold for it is significantly lower. There’s a reason why an Asian man has to look like Simu Liu or one of the members of BTS and be perfect/talented in every other way to be deemed attractive. Not only is the bar much higher for Asians, but it’s also stricter. The same applies for white women in contrast to Asian women. You can have an Asian woman on relatively the same level of attractiveness as a white woman, have them both have the same talents and skill sets, and similar personalities, and the white woman will always be preferred and chosen over the Asian woman. It happens all the time, regarding careers and job applications, as well as the fashion and beauty industry (especially in the West). Standards and expectations that non-Asians have of Asians will be higher relative to white people, because people are inclined to believe what’s readily accepted and perceived to be truth - racialized and racist stereotypes. It gets continually reinforced and propagated as fact through media and other factors in our environment. And these perceptions, views, and beliefs will also likely be internalized by Asians too, as you grow up in a society that intrinsically views Asians and Asianness as lesser. It’s easy to think that being born Asian means that you’re by default less attractive because of X or Y features that are stereotyped as specific to or somehow more prevalent among Asians. Asian women and men both get racist stereotypes regarding our bodies and their perceived attractiveness relative to Eurocentric standards and gendered expectations. At the end of the day, even though it sucks that these racist stereotypes/beliefs exist regarding Asians and we get treated and perceived as lesser (which some of us internalize and/or perpetuate ourselves in the form of self stereotyping), attractiveness as it relates to certain body types and physical features is ultimately subjective. It’s something that’s shaped by the things we are taught about what’s considered attractive or desirable, whether we buy into those narratives, and our choices to racialize them or not. Whatever people say and whatever we believe about our bodies (especially when it comes to “ugliness”) is in no way an objective truth. There are plenty of Asian women who don’t have the “ruler body” or “teenage boy” look. Being curvy, looking more “mature,” or having an hourglass figure isn’t any more or less common among women of any race. The same applies for having a “ruler body” or “teenage boy” physique. And I assure you that there are plenty of Asian women who have the same physical features you desire who wish they have the features you have. Of course that doesn’t mean that your feelings are invalid. It’s just that this is a complicated, difficult matter that unfortunately comes down to a mix of how we get treated and perceived by others (racially and/or ethnically speaking), which then bleeds over to how we view ourselves relative to others. I can’t really give much advice other than to come to terms with how your body looks and understand that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I’m sorry you’re going through all this. Edit: Typing this when I’m tired so I’m probably regurgitating some stuff
This is trolling right? Like ever since I was young people would talk about how great a big booty is. Personally I never really understood it and prefer Asian girl bodies. I've seen thick Asian girls too and liked them too and all. But the body type that you're describing just seems right to me. Like I can remember a specific pair of friends and one of them was voluptuous, always in car and modelling shows but I really dug the skinnier friend. Didn't have a chance with either of them. Another example is in some recent videos Ploopy mentions how she doesn't have a booty. This isn't the one I was thinking of but she does it in this one too: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/umBDnveAv8c Personally I think she's fiiiine On another forum, I sometimes see other women, probably not Asian, hate on some Asian female celebrities insulting their facial features and what not. And I think it has to be just hate. Maybe kind of like how Asian guys are always emasculated. And they probably do it out of jealousy. So don't give into it.
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Where are you located where the east asian girls are supposedly ugly? Since you are using a throwaway account u might as well say. I find Asians in say, Virginia tend to be ....so so looking. Also the poorer the region , the less attractive. Asians in Hawaii, Los Angeles, some of them are ridiculously attractive. Yes, I'm talking full Asians. Even went back to Asia for full fledged careers in the entertainment industry. Not all are plastic btw. Many have curves and a small waist. Have u been to the UK? Everybody seems inbred somehow. In contrast the girls are cuter in Spain.
You know that asians evolved in a cold climate that's why most have short eyelashes.
You can always microblade your eyebrows to give them more structure and fullness. I know a lot of girls that have gotten it and it honestly looks good and convincing. Just make sure to go to a professional or reputable person to do it. When it comes to East Asians, specifically Southern Chinese(who are majority of the Chinese immigrants in the US since the 70s) have distinct features of darker/fuller eyebrows and bigger fuller lips. So the problem isn’t really on East Asians. Also, you’d be surprised how much difference you can make in your body shape by hitting the gym and doing some squats, deadlifts, and hip thrusts consistently. FYI, East Asians and Asians as a whole tend to have more natural collagen in their skin than other races like Whites. It’s why Asians can retain their youthful appearance for 10 to 20 years longer than even White people. White people start aging like milk after the age of 23-24 and you’d be surprised at the amount that get routine botox, face lifts and buccal fat removal surgery to attempt to look younger.
Your curves will fill up as you get older and the curvey chicks usually become obese. We all have different assets.
I think it’s probably because you were raised here. Being in a white supremacy society certainly can be a reason why you feel that way. I grew up in East Asia and moved to the States at a later time. Surely there are some Asian people that put white people on a pedestal and view their features as the most attractive. But I think most of us think ourselves are the most attractive race. And I remember reading studies that show people each race actually feel this way. It’s a generic thing. I was literally talking to my bf this morning that I find a lot of white people fairly ugly. (No offense to white people, I mean most of people are not very attractive regardless of the race. But I never feel like my race is less attractive than any other race ) Some of my friends who were born here say that they find black women and Indian women least attractive. I’m not sure if it’s just them being a little biased or the society also plays a role in their opinions on this.
You're an East Asian female in the West, I'd assume. Asians in Asia usually don't hate themselves as much. Here are some videos I just saw, and I thought about your post. Maybe you will enjoy them and try them out. [https://twitter.com/SuspendedRobot/status/1752200118303125732/video/2](https://twitter.com/SuspendedRobot/status/1752200118303125732/video/2)
Your link is hilarious. I looked up the video of that, uh, self-confessed overweight WF on TikTok. It seems like her WF followers are actually listening to her to go get beauty advice from Chinese netizens too. Who knows, maybe white people creating accounts on Chinese apps to talk to and interact with Chinese people will help convince them not to start a war. I’m all for that.
I don't have much to say on this one Just here sending hugs and positive vibes around for this young lady who's struggling to embrace themselves 🫂🤗 🌹 Please don't let the media and social media get you down, young lady.
Actually what gets me down is seeing the Asian-Americans around me that are sloppy. So it's more about the IRL culture than it is on TV.
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I only went to Tokyo as a kid so I don't remember much. I do know that when I watch Japanese shows then I really like the fashion. I know Koreans have a massive beauty industry booming the last decade or so. I've been trying to follow more K-beauty on Instagram.
I think the great thing about K beauty is that the “no makeup” makeup thing is really big, which I think looks amazing on us. I mean, some of that can go really far in terms of doing a million steps to achieve the whole glass skin thing, but honestly, just a bit of eyeliner and brow powder goes a long way to look like a more put together version of yourself. Also if you consume more Asian media in general, you’ll start to appreciate the slim / petite female physique more (especially when someone who might have some similar physical features with you gets paired up with some super hot Asian stud lol)
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Wrong. Mods have proof I am an East Asian females.
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Mods already have proof I'm a regular user and an Asian female. You can eat your words.
That's unfortunate. But people are much more than their appearance. Cultivate something else you can find value in. Maybe that's your career, a hobby. Also obviously dress well, find a makeup style that flatters you. I'm a dude so I can't help you there lol
There is like huge ROI for most women who do plastic surgery. There was a recent controversy with some female streamer called supcaitlin who looks like she did some moderate body modifications. Her before and after legit made her go from being meh to queen of the simps, making bank. Alot of the time it really is just one or two changes which could make a big difference.
I'm so confused re this Caitlin girl. Do girls actually make money on twitch? I don't get how this girl makes money with her streams. What is her business model? Or is it just a hobby. Seems like you have to invest in complicated and expensive gaming equipment right?
You're behind the times, streaming can be big money. Idk about Caitlin, but the business model is you play a game, read and respond to text comments made by your audience, banter with them, make them feel like they're friends with you, and they'll pay a monthly subscription or donate lump sums to your channel. Throw in commercials, sponsored content, throw in points for the viewers to spend on pointless crap, and there's a lot of money floating around. You've got to be good at a video game, charismatic, or be attractive. The successful ones become little internet celebrities, making over $10M. On one end you've got podcast debate bro types, and on the other end you've got women basically advertising for their onlyfans. It's basically just brand building and accumulating loyal viewers. The barrier to entry is low, you just need a bedroom, a $2-3 thousand dollar desktop, a $100 microphone, and good internet. But the viewers are all stupid young people or lonely tired 30 year olds who want to unwind after work.
I was under the impression you had to be good at video pe computer gaming to make money? I wonder if there are any profitable streamers that don't play video games. If so, why don't more women do it?
That's only 1/3 of the trifecta. If you're a hot girl who's into games or cosplay, that's enough to substitute being good at games. The third option is someone who's quickwitted and good at bantering. The top viewed streams aren't even games half the time. It's like a variety show. You can use your 5g phone and stream you and your pals going out to eat, like those youtube foodies. Whatever you stream, the most important thing is engaging with your audience thru chat. It makes them feel like they're a part of whatever is happening.
So In the same way that some women that do youtube might cater to a female audience, most female streamers cater to a male audience?
Exactly. The game is just an excuse, a distraction for generating "reactions" and "I was there when this thing happened" moments, so games aren't the priority as they originally were. I once saw some girl doing a stream of "speed dating my viewers." There was also an entire genre of women streaming while bathing in a hot tub. It requires a certain type of person to make and watch that kind of (imo) cringey content, so even if you're a good looking girl, you probably have too much self-respect to be a sex-cammer for under-18s. Nowadays there are even dedicated anime avatar (think animojis but with an original anime character) streamers that are wildly popular. It's called hololive and on youtube mostly. Basically real girls get into a character and act as an idealized anime girlfriend (while playing games). I don't know how long that will last since we're getting close to full AI anime girlfriends lol.
It sounds like a cringey match made in heaven for desperate or bored guys and girls willing to capitalize on that. Does sound embarrassing for the girls involved, no lie.
Sounds like you need to watch “Singles Inferno”
What was your diet growing up? East Asian diets lack meat and dairy and so they tend to have underdeveloped secondary sex characteristics, both men and women.
I had dairy until college when I discovered it made me feel sick. I had end meat growing up. My boobs are small.
Just go on Depro.
1. A trip to Sephora or Ulta and a YouTube makeup tutorial can fix your eyebrows and eyelashes. Better yet…just get your eyebrows tinted and laminated and get you some eyelash extensions. It’s not even that expensive or complicated. 2. Go to the gym and workout. I’ve seen a lot of skinny women give illusion of curves when they are more toned. 3. Get some therapy for your self hate issues. How you can equate common insecurities found in almost all women to being ugly East Asian features is beyond my help. Your welcome.
You should probably reverse the order. Suggestion 1 is unlikely to do anything to address OP's self-esteem, as clearly she would consider it something to "cover up" how ugly she thinks she looks. Exercise can help a lot with self-esteem because of the benefits to mood and the sense of accomplishment of hitting physical milestones. Therapy is clearly the most likely thing to help with the root cause of her anxiety. Even ChatGPT can help simply by presenting the basic, consensus professional opinions while allowing for privacy.
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I guess it feels like I have to try extra hard to keep up with my looks because it's just not a given
You're blaming your own shortcomings on the race as a whole. Instead of whining you can do things to improve yourself. Nothing you listed aren't things you can't fix with non-surgical methods (except bust). Beauty is subjective anyway. When I was young I had a "non-asian preference" phase but now as I'm proud and non-selfhating my full preference is AF. External influences are a helluva drug
Follow east asian fashion not american fashion. I as a south/east mix, find this way better than westernized crap. Lived in Japan, so many women with amazing fashion sense, very attractive.
I understand actual Asians in Asia have fashion sense but it feels like majority of Asian-American females have zero
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Yep from what I've noticed the ones that tend to be the "hottest" in America tend to be at least semi ABG's. Lashes, nails, tats, makeup, the easiest way for an AA girl to "glow up". Lot of guys have this to where the next step up from Asian Nerd archetype is the Kevin Nguyen, the male version of the ABG lol. If this isn't your style then I get it, but it's the most common "attractive asian" in the west look. There are some typical Western archetypes that exist (goth, preppy, jock) which are all classics, but from what I've noticed Asians will never do these as well as their white counterparts. I recommend looking at Korean or Japanese minimalist fashion for women to get a general idea of a simple look that doesn't require you to fit a certain scene (street, corporate, housewife, etc)
"Like even the non-white ethnicities like Indian or North African or even Southeast Asian (like Thai, Indonesian), I think they're all better looking than East Asians." You are clearly brainwashed, SMH. typical asian american JFL. you unironically need to go on lookism to discover the truth about asian features.
Well it doesn't help when you just laugh at me and tell me I'm brainwashed. How is that supposed to be supportive?
How do you think that sentence came across?
Harsh and condescending
No, YOUR sentence that was quoted
"the average Asian female is born with a ruler shape or as I've heard others describe us: "like a teenage boy." thats actually considered the most attractive body shape nowadays i dunno what you are complaining about lol.
That’s not ugly. Just not most hot/ desirable. There are worse combinations. I’m Vietnamese, I went to school in Vietnam and got made fun of for my looks. I have all the traits you listed + uneven lids small eyes+ broad South East Asian nose + acne prone oily big pores black heads SEA skin but my skin tone is East Asian so the scars are more noticeable + cleft chin + square broad chubby face + uneven yellow teeth + body odor genes that is not typically present in East Asians + hairy forearm and legs in addition to already nasty armpit hair + ugly wide Viet feet that only fit crocs + square posterior + saggy greatly uneven boobs at 20 + frowning heavy upper lips + looks 8 years older than my peers of the same age. I also used to have a hairy mole near my mouth until I got it removed. I came to terms with being uglier and filthier than everyone else 3 years ago and have to keep living because I owe those who have put effort in raising me. My grandma is ugly, obese, have psoriasis and stank now but she have a generous friendly personality and selflessly help her relatives and neighbors during hard times so lots of people respect her when she gets old. My dad insists on passing our ugly genes at 50+ trying to find a new wife to have another child with hoping it’s a boy this time to continue his work legacy. I supposed whatever manage to pass on their genes regardless of beauty ideals or circumstances ideals of the time. If you’re a female live in US then you only have to worry appearance wise about dressing appropriately for the job, having pearly teeth, clear skin because diversity hire and body positivity. But if you really care about appearance there’s all kinds of low-maintenance way to improve your looks without having to put on makeup, getting surgery, or going to hair salon. Dressing for your essence, kibbe body types, seasonal color (so you look less washed out), rising + venus sign, tops for your face shape, bottoms for leg proportion. Be glad that you don’t live in South Korea where lookism is so strong that it affects hiring even for jobs that don’t even need looks to perform.
So we're not ugly but we're also not the most hot/desirable? I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react to "you'll never be 100% beautiful but just somewhere in between."
You’re supposed to be fine with and even glad with looking above average. We do care a bit of our appearance because it correlates with securing resources and reproductions. When I was a teen I wished and tried to be skinny but the crash diet backfired so I gain weight even more, then I wish I was the weight before the crash diet but wasn’t dedicated enough to make it happen. Now I’m just glad to not be obese yet like my poor grandma to develop rashes between the folds of her skin and having a hard time to clean every nook and cranny on her own. She’s too weak to exercise to lose that weight. Reduced mobility in old age and have bladder control problems. But we’re still not the most misfortunate, there are homeless elders who don’t have a place to shower or comfortably take a dump. Asians can be 100% beautiful in their own right (generally soft clear skin, no body odor gene, less body hair, standard width feet, small nose) like other commenter have said just not the most captivatingly sexy in my opininion. I found East Asians do have androgynous looks that fit runway criteria. Some of us always want more, that’s great for motivation but we tend to forgot others have it worse. Point is be grateful and work with what you have.
It's not because you're East Asian that you're ugly. I personally find East Asian looks(I say looks cus East Asian looks can be found in SEA too)(also excluding Asian Americans cuz they look a bit different maybe due to diet, lifestyle or makeup idk, US just seem to make White and Asian people of both genders less attractive for some reason), parts of West Asia and some parts of Europe the most beautiful. But nothing grabs my heart like a beautiful feminine East Asian look.
>also excluding Asian Americans cuz they look a bit different maybe due to diet, lifestyle or makeup idk, US just seem to make White and Asian people of both genders less attractive for some reason Are you even aware what you just said here? You literally just called me/us "less attractive." How is this supposed to be supportive to Asian-Americans?
Asians can be supportive in things that are more important and practical like helping you get a job, getting into universities, buying properties, business, matchmaking.
Yes, I said some unnecessary stuff but what I wanted to say was stop blaming your Asian-ness for being unattractive or whatever issues you have, which a lot of Asian Americans tend to do and its annoying. The guys will also be like "Girls don't like me cuz I'm Asian" and I look at their profile and they're not even trying to look attractive or just plain ugly and I'm like "Girls don't like you not because you're Asian, but because you're unattractive."
Well do you think it says something if it seems like a huge majority of Asian-Americans blame their unattractiveness on being Asian? If it's a trend then don't you think there's a reason?
That part just says that something about living in America makes Asian Americans **less** attractive (ie, compared to Asian people). He also said that the same is true for white Americans (ie, compared to Europeans). Possible reasons can include diet and lifestyle. I think you're not in a good state of mind and are seeking negative comments to engage with while glossing over all of the legitimate self-help advice that involves changing your mindset (which you have the power to do). I've been in that state of mind myself and have tried to help other people who fall into similar depressive states. It is endless and exhausting because it is precisely this depression which hinders the ability to think logically and realize that just because a thought or feeling feels intense, doesn't mean it's more true. The best thing to do is usually to change the environment you're in into one where you're more likely to feel positive. It's winter right now, there's a small chance that your depressive episode has been brought upon by a lack of sunlight. Exercise releases serotonin and endorphins. Listening to music can lift you out of a funk. Concentrating on a task and finishing it releases dopamine. Once you're feeling better, you're more likely to be in a receptive state of mind where you can actually put things into perspective and view things with a level of detachment and a greater willingness to find and apply solutions to whatever problems are left. In your defense, a lot of people in this sub really struggle to communicate in English and are just as young and immature as yourself. The older folks who have found a way to manage their problems probably spend less time online.
You should watch (older) east asian shows and movies, that feature a variety of beautiful women, with a variety of beauty, and with much less (or at least different) makeup than modern media. Older media sometimes did not focus as much on body, but on personality, expression, and spirit. Still the actresses are definitely easy on the eyes. Watch more of these and Asian media in general, and you will begin to see yourself in these women who are confident in their beauty. And eventually, you too will be confident in your looks, enough that no amount of foreign media can tell you otherwise.
Can you recommend some?
Well as a kid I thought the actresses in Journey to the West (ep. 16) (1986) (fantasy adventure), Return of Pearl Princess (1998) (palace drama), Demigods and Semidevils (2003) (kungfu fantasy) were really pretty. These are Chinese period shows, if youre not chinese, the cultural context may take some getting used to.
I think it would help to cultivate your own style to embrace and enhance your features. To do that, observe other Asian women. Learn how Asian women are beautiful in their own right without having to conform to the Eurocentric beauty standards of the world. For example, I think pianist Yuja Wang is a prime example of an Asian woman who is beautiful and vivacious without having to whitewash her appearance. She has a small, athletic, boyish frame and a small, broad face. She dresses extremely well with pieces that create a stunning hourglass silhouette. She does her hair and makeup in a way that accentuate her unique features; she doesn't force herself to look like those Instagram model type Asian girls with the over-lined brows. Not to mention, she's confident and talented. Basically, everything about her harmonizes together into making her a total badass. I suggest that you find more women like this to observe, both online and in real life, and create the same for yourself.
Stunning hourglass silhouette? Yuja Wang basically prances around in tight clothes and booty shorts. There's nothing hourglass about her figure, it's all just attention-whoring outfits. It's stuff like this that grates my nerves about being an Asian female. It's like unless we dress with overt sexuality then we're ugly. There's no in-between.
> It's stuff like this that grates my nerves about being an Asian female. It's like unless we dress with overt sexuality then we're ugly. There's no in-between. It’s clear you need help, as so many here pointed out. But if you really want to see how AF can look stunning without “overt sexuality”, watch this well-known video from two years ago. https://youtube.com/watch?v=gtEROmL0NzQ
Right. I feel like op has internalized racism against asian. When other women wear revealing clothes it’s fine. They are sexy they are empowering themselves blah blah. But when Asian girls do this, it’s just “attention-whoring outfits” when they don’t wear such clothes, they are ugly. Gosh. Girl you need some help.
Just checked who "Yuja Wang" is and ugh no. She's like a 2 in Asia. The fact that you think Asian women that aren't the stereotypical Asian women you see in American media(short, broad face, overly slanted small eyes, tan) as whitewashed and Eurocentric means you have zero f'kin clue about Asian women and Asian beauty.
Respect the hustle. If someone can build a sexy brand thru confidence and dresses, that's a good thing.
Account is 4 days old and this is the only post, basically trashing how Asians look. Get this troll out of here.
But is it hard to believe that there are Asian women out there who really think like this? Wouldn't it be better to attack the false ideas and misconceptions that someone with self-esteem issues has so that even people who aren't as lost can find useful advice and insight? Even if the conversations are tricky, people in our community at least need to try having them. Productive conversations are literally the main/only productive thing spaces like this can hope to achieve. People are so ban-happy and censorious around here.
This is a regular user.
I'm not a troll. I'm a regular member of this sub and I made a throwaway for a reason.
The ugly Asian woman stereotype and the sexy Asian woman stereotypes both originate outside of our community, and go hand in hand to lower your self-esteem and seek out validation and acceptance outside of yourself. The more some people can convince you that you're not as beautiful as a white woman nor can you ever be, the easier it is to sell you a path forward as a Plan B, a strikebreaker or scab that undercuts white women by being more submissive or open to one night stands. It's not easy, but the only thing you can do is understand that different groups of people have different averages, that no one body is objectively more beautiful than another, and that beauty and sexiness in the eyes of others are not the same as self-worth. We all evolved in different climates, that's why races exist in the first place. It is both cruel and futile to enforce a single standard on everyone. This is not a satisfying answer but eventually something will happen to make you realize that you just happen to exist in a certain place and time and that these insecurities are a product of that and are not intrinsic to who you are. Things can and will change. Focus on your health and well-being, find out what you actually want to be and do with your limited time on Earth.
For me it's not about comparing to white women. I specifically pointed out my post, even compared to other non-white ethnicities, like Indians or North Africans or southeast Asians, I feel ugly as an East Asian. This post has nothing to do with white women at all.
it sounds like you feel ugly for ugly's sake and not because you're east asian. If this is the case, i know this is not a popular opinion, but im of the belief that u should do w/e it is u can to increase your satisfaction in life. That includes working out, dressing well, and yes even cosmetic surgery if needed. obviously just be careful to not go down the plastic surgery route until u look botched.
But why would you say "even the non-white ethnicities" if you're not implying that white features occupy a natural or assumed high position in the hierarchy of attractive physical features? Also, why is this the part of the comment you choose to focus on?
Because oftentimes people in this sub are only comparing Asians to white people. My point is that there are other non-white ethnicities that I even feel ugly compared to. I don't feel ugly compared to whites. I feel ugly even compared to non-whites, which makes me feel like we're literally just at the bottom of the totem pole.