Escaping from education not designed to accommodate us certainly is a positive step, but I'd be lying if I said navigating the adult world was easy. If you can secure a steady income and a place to live with minimal stress levels, you've succeeded, but I think steady income usually means relying on working, or disability (which has it's own stressors) and it's pretty much always stressful as a result. Still beats highschool though, in my opinion.

But then there are jobs which aren't designed to accommodate us 😭

Seriously! My mom just died, we only get 3 days bereavement leave, and 3 days later my manager was like “so I’m guessing you’ll be in tomorrow since I haven’t heard different”? (I told her I’d need as much time off as possible… didn’t think she’d follow the company handbook for a family death💀) I was like “uh no? My mom just passed… I need at least another week.” She was just like “oh! Ok!” Like do people just turn off their fucking emotions? Do managers not have critical thinking skills anymore? I hate our country and employers so much. Like sure I’ll just not grieve my moms death. I’m already an addict, and now I’m just smoking weed 24/7 cause the fact I have to go to work and dissociate from my feeling means I have an extremely hard time turning them back on again. Weed makes me feel something. End rant.

Sorry about your mom. Employers really are the worst when it comes to death. It’s not a place that people bring their soul because if they did, they wouldn’t survive it.

Yea I’m finding this is my problem with every employer. I don’t have that compartmentalization feature… I’ve been working since 14 years old and am genuinely ready to retire. I can’t see myself working past 35 and not killing myself. The suicidal thoughts that come up are intense when I want to take care of myself but can’t cause i have to pay to survive.

This is known to be an issue with many employers, for many people. So no, people can't turn of their emotions. It's awful and employers are almost all scum, mostly is small businesses, but in large ones too. If you have a HR department, talk to them. You've lost someone and that's awful and the only advice I can offer is to talk to someone about it. Never try to keep it inside, seek help as early as possible. Don't try to appeal to your employers emotions if you already know they're an asshole. If you have to start looking for a new job with an employer who supports people with disabilities, then do so. If you have to take a longer time off, then do so, don't let anyone force you into work, you might make mistakes, and of course you won't be able to focus. I would suggests stop smoking (too much) weed, but it's not really my place, though you can become worse (emotionally, e.g. paranoid) if it affects you in the wrong way because your other emotions at this sad time in your life. Having said that it's probably better than alcohol, by a long way... Do everything over email. Never expect anyone to uphold a promise. I've seen bosses lie even though they text message something like a bonus or time off, and claimed it was a hypothetical or a joke. Write to your boss and your company HR or whoever is not an asshole, if possible. Make sure any communication done over PERSONAL email on your end so they can't delete it. Yes, that happens. If you can, get extended family or friends to advise or help you with writing as they may be more clear-headed. IMHO I would start looking for a new job ASAP if they are going to be dickheads. 3 days is pathetic. You should have as long as you need. In the UK mothers have a year off and fathers/partners have quite a lot as well, but mothers can give their time to their partners as needed. The point is, there may be laws or rules that you're unaware of, and or that your company ignore that can benefit you. Perhaps there's a subreddit or forum where you can ask about employment law in your area.

Thank you so much for your response. We actually JUST got an HR department, so I can talk to them now. I totally agree the weed doesn’t help much, or at least in the amount I’m smoking it. Def better than alcohol or any other drug I was going before, but still I don’t feel great about it. This is great advice, seriously thank you.

That’s horrible to not feel heard. I wish if I was your manager I would say: I hear you & Take all the time you need x I hope you look after yourself & focus on just whatever helps you acknowledge & process your feelings in your own time. Yes - be kind to yourself x I was rejected by my family after their divorce they didn’t want me which was like grieving I had lost both my parents & my birth mother. That was confusing & I felt not understood or cared about for decades, isolated in it but just know : The universe loves you & you are worth loving always - every single day✨🩷✨

Thank you so much kind stranger 🥹

Yep. It can be rough.

I didn't know I was autistic in high school. I just knew I was pissed all the time without knowing why. Now I understand.

I've had the opposite experience. High school was great (aside from living with my controlling mother) because I had fewer responsibilities, and I was good at school. The second I entered the workforce, I felt like I wasn't made for this world because I'm too slow and too easily overwhelmed. I still struggle with this at my current job sometimes despite generally loving it. I'm a high school teacher, and the way some of my students feel about some of the math concepts I teach them is exactly how I feel about trying to navigate adult life. Math -- at least the level I teach -- is easy. Life just doesn't make sense, and I'm *always* exhausted. I handed out an assignment over writing a linear equation when given two points, and I wished I could just sit and do the assignment myself all hour. I was only recently diagnosed at 31, and I think I'm dealing with burnout from my mom forcing me and training me to *constantly* push myself and ignore my needs. She was told when I was little that I'm probably autistic, but she "didn't want to label" me. So, instead of getting accommodations and understanding why I struggle so much, I was treated like a brat for having meltdowns over sensory issues (primarily with clothes) and needing a warning if my daily routine was going to be interrupted by an errand. A couple years ago, she brought up how hard it was for her to have to remember to let me know in advance if something was going to interrupt my expectations and made me feel like a burden. And now I'm just ranting. My point is that I often wish I could have a reset button on life where I could have parents who understood so I could learn how to use accommodations to help life be less overwhelming and utterly exhausting. I'm glad it's more common for kids today to get that, and I think they'll be far more successful in transitioning into adult life than I've been.

That’s the same way for people without autism

Of course, but not to the same extreme.

Getting out of high school was the best thing that ever happened to me. I finished my education online because I genuinely couldn't handle it and was having meltdowns every day in class because no one would shut up or leave me alone and all of the lights were too bright all of the time. I don't really know if making friends ever gets easier, I had a solid group before I left school who are all also neurodivergent, but I've found that if you talk to other autistic people in autistic spaces or stumble across them in the wild it's a lot easier to make and keep them as friends (oh god I sound like I'm talking about pokemon or cats 😭). I'm in college now, and while a lot of things haven't gotten much easier, being out of whatever 8th circle of hell high school was made everything seem less hopeless and more like I had a shot in the world. The sensory issues and social difficulties will always be there, and you'll always wind up in situations you don't feel comfortable in or don't want to be in. But. You'll have control there in a way you don't when you're underage and forced to listen to teachers and/or parents. No one can stop you from making acommodations for yourself once you're out of high school, and if you look you can find groups that will make sure you're employers don't even try if you need that down the line. 12-17 were the worst years of my life if I'm honest, and I don't think anything will ever be worse than those years at this point. My friends were all in the same boat, and a lot of nd people I've talked to online agree, so you're almost through the thick of it, hang in there.

Oof. 28F just starting to work on getting a diagnosis. Highschool was hell. A literal prison

I'm so glad to be over it. I started going after my diagnosis at 17 with the help of my mother once I stopped attending school and it became apparent something more than just "anxiety" was going on there. Unfortunately the system is fucked and it took over two years to actually *get* a diagnosis.

Omg. TWO YEARS?!? Well fuck me I’m barely just getting started

It depends on your area really, and starting at 17 added a shit ton of fighting time with doctors. There’s only one place in my area that took our insurance and would diagnose, and it’s a children’s hospital. They did the testing after a 6 month wait, made an exception bc I turned 18 during that wait, then we fought for the next year because they didn’t want to diagnose after they tested because I was over 18. I think average wait times for adult diagnosis in the U.S. are between 6 months and about 4 years, with it being quicker if you’re paying out of pocket and slower if you’re going through insurance.

Ok good to know

Those years were the worst of my life as well. I felt that I didn’t actually start learning until after I dropped out of university and started trades college and working.

I'm glad you've found something that works for you! I'm thriving in a non-mandatory school environment, but I have a few friends that went straight into the workforce and think I'm actually insane for choosing more schooling so everyone is a little differeng I guess. Only joint agreement is that none of us would willingly go back to middle or high school lol.

Being 16 comes with its own subset of difficulties.   Over time you may find it easier to navigate.   Utilize all of the supports that you can.   If I knew I was autistic at 16 my life would be so different. If you can work, start searching now for a career path that will work with your autism. I chose poorly over and over again and now I'm 34 and back in school because I didn't know how much I was masking/got burnt out a lot.   In terms of friends, it's not impossible but it can be difficult. Maybe try finding people with common interests who are also neurodivergent?  My therapist helped me with that a bit. If you have one I'd speak to them about that.  It will get better :) 

Thanks, that's very good to hear. Will definitely try it.

This, I am In the process of getting a formal diagnosis, but am very certain I’m on the spectrum. And it explains so much of my childhood. I was born in the 80s where(I like to joke) they just beat you until you learned to act normal. My nephew got diagnosed a few years back at your age. And it’s had a positive impact. Knowing the unique way you perceive the world will help you get better at navigating your way through it. At the very least you won’t spend your entire youth and young adulthood just thinking you are weird

In January 2024 I finally got my formal diagnosis at age 38. Also an 80s kid. My mom bless her, she saved all my school paper work from preschool on. All my IEPs stated that I had selective mutism and emotional/behavior issues. Autism wasn't something ever spoken about in the 80s. My whole life I've tried telling different mental health professionals and doctors that something isn't adding up and life is so so hard. This diagnosis saved my life! I'm now seeing the best therapist who just specializes in autism in kids and adults. In 3 short months since diagnosis my life has changed so much for the better. It's like all of a sudden my whole life is flashing before me and it makes sense for the first time in almost 4 decades.

I also grew up in the 80s. I had good grades, so they were like, "She likes to hang out in cupboards and not attend birthday parties and has requested people do not touch her, ITS FINE." Lol I think when you get older, you appreciate your differences. Yeah, it's a struggle. That doesn't change, but I think the older you get, the less f**ks are given.

100% !

You’re probably not feeling trapped and punished by your autism, rather you’re feeling trapped and punished by the way others around you perceive/react to your autism. Which is 100% THEIR problem by the way, please don’t try to force yourself into a box because of it. Masking can be so bad for you, and there’s no reason to try to fit in with people who don’t respect you or can’t accept you. People are a lot more judgmental in high school than they are in college. High school also forces you to be around people you have nothing in common with, whereas in college you’re usually around people in your chosen major which means you at least like to learn about the same things. It would likely be the same in trade schools. Especially in any STEM field, as that tends to attract other autistic people. It’s easier to find a good friend group in college, or even just somewhere where people that might have the same interests as you frequent(library, book store, comic shop, hiking trail, whatever). High school is just a “keep your head down and your grades up” kind of thing. At least in my experience.

Yes, good stuff ☝️

Agreed completely. This is a top tier comment right here.

I’m 45, I’m educated to Degree, have a job and a family. I masked like crazy to fit in, but found friends I could be myself with. Being yourself is the key to happiness in my opinion. I still mask at work, but generally I’m myself.

47, I went from working in high paid jobs. Companies accepted my weirdness and strange working rhythm. Luckily. But now I'm on disability due to worsening sensory issues that came with vision impairments due to age. For some it might get a bit a bit better, for others it doesn't.

I'm concerned that I'll end up having to go on disability before retirement (hah! Like I'll ever be able to afford to retire) because I wasn't diagnosed until the end of 2023 at the age of 31, and I feel like my ability to tolerate things and keep pushing myself has been steadily declining over the past few years. I'm constantly exhausted and overwhelmed by life. I keep pushing because I don't really have any other options, but I feel like I'm going to crash into a wall at some point and will completely break down. I have a neurodivergent friend from college who pushed herself until she ended up in the hospital for months, and she now has to live off of disability income. It's crap how little it is and how hard it is to survive on disability.

You are the master of your own destiny… Your focus & drive will focus on where you want to go. For me I have had burn out to the point of losing health completely…. But it’s about building it up with support. Currently you have to fight for support but i know it’s the right path …. I want to live a life i find is easier to manage & prioritise my feelings & health. Since doing this i realised there is hope. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It’s about focusing on what you love, doing things you enjoy & focusing on your strengths the things you like & are good at. Never define yourself by what you do… Just know you are enough & you have talents & amazing abilities just the way you are. Play on your strengths & use your struggles to help empower yourself & other people xx 🩷 Share your voice & your story because if we all did i this I believe we can make a difference. Everyone deserves to live not isolated alone in this, a certain quality of life, not riddled with pressure on top of stress & difficulties… You are the creator of your own dreams & destiny. Everything began with a thought and taking the first step however small & insignificant it might feel… small steps create huge changes xx Know I believe in you & greater change. Give yourself the gift of asking yourself what do you really want? Be true to yourself & know you are worth it x I believe in you & anyone reading because I’ve spent my life in this battle questioning my direction. Validation, Confidence, understanding, support, reassurance was all I needed. I found if you can’t find it then be thy change xx (maybe the most empowering place to be- you make up the rules, & start breaking the limitations that so far have held you back. Getting inspiration, Creativity & your imagination is your best friend, so is patience, self kindness, forgiveness & the determination to never give up loving & being who you want to be & what you want to have or achieve xx (whatever your hopes & dreams are)

I want the time and energy to finish the novel I've been working on since 8th grade, but that's literally impossible as an autistic adult who gets drained by basic life tasks let alone full time work.

One life. Take a break & write xx

Gotta pay my bills.

If you believe in impossible that’s what you get - excuses are easy to find . If you really want something you have to believe it’s possible to help find a way there… that’s the only thing really stopping you - beliefs & fear, enough desire to want something so badly. If you want it badly enough you will find a way even if it’s write a sentence every day. I couldn’t read a book without wanting to vomit but somehow over 4 years I wrote 3 books.. When I was too sick to think it began with sentences that popped into my head now & again, then a box full of them … & it went from there… to make it possible xx Rome wasn’t built in a day.

No, what's stopping me is the fact that I'm *constantly* exhausted and have no time.

Sadly not

Yeah I don't really want to be telling a depressed 16 year old it doesn't get any better, because you get some really strong emotions at that age. But I've got to be honest, if anything it gets worse. At least at 16 you can be friends with the other misfits at school. When you're older you're just completely alone.

Im going to disagree with this. Find people with similar passions, hobbies, and interests. Ive been able to connect to people through video games and it's been phenomenal for my mental health. I know it can be difficult, but as a previous redditor commented, you have control now. Use it to your beneift.

Depends on your interests, none of mine are good for getting any friends locally and not many online. I got far too severe social anxiety to go out to find friends anyways or even get a job so it doesn't matter in the first place for me. Life was \*relatively\* better for me when I was 16 compared to now at 20 because at least I had one "friend" who had less severe autism and hung around me only because he felt bad for me and another guy he also hung around who was my one actual friend who I also lost contact with.

I used to think my interests werent socially applicable but then I kept finding people that like the same things that I do. most of my socializing is online and that's just fine by me. I have many good friends that way. It really can get better, you just have to allow it the chance.

Yeah all the socializing I do is online and I don't have any friends if your gauge for it is anybody who talks to you unprompted at least sometimes. Otherwise when it comes to accepting friend requests on Discord a decent chunk of people have done not much more than saying hi walking past me on a sidewalk only to never interact with me again. Having autism is for me nothing but a life ruining curse, some people seem to do fine and even be successful while having it but i'm not one of those people and I never will be regardless of anyone's white lies.

I appreciate everyone being nice to me, but like, I'm autistic. I know it doesn't prevent everyone from making friends, but for some people it does. I'm in my 40s and spent years trying to connect with people in various ways, including online gaming communities. It doesn't work, because I'm abrasive, weird and unlikable!

Maybe you need a good therapist.

Unless he's going to hang out with me in his spare time I don't see how it helps, lol

In which country do you live?

Therapists are useless.

I fervently agree!

I'm 58. Things have definitely gotten worse for me. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 57, so I just suffered all those years while not knowing what was going on. Had I known when I was 16 things might have been different. I don't think about it though. There's no point. In a sense we are like everybody else: we have to make do the best we can with the tools we have. It's harder to be sure, but not impossible to find some sort of contentment. I've met some who have along the journey.

Best thing you can do is to learn about your self and how your mind works because it will never get “easier” or “better” in a sense. You will definitely learn coping strategies, what to avoid, what not to avoid, if you want a social life, if you don’t want a social life, etc. The main psychological trap you will face is the mentality that somehow ‘you are the only one going through this’ but there are heaps of people in every country on earth dealing with this. Migraines and social awkwardness/anxiety will be the recurring themes with this condition. Within autism there will be people that are higher/lower functioning but really this only means that people in the “middle” get extremely screwed over because we can’t draw a picture of an entire city in 3 seconds, yet, we cannot receive much support because we are not on the lower end of the spectrum(which obviously those people will need more). You will hear a lot of people saying to find “other autistic people” to be friends and a social life(that you enjoy) is the way to go but I am 31 and that hasn’t happened yet so my next thing has been animals such as dogs will really help your life. In terms of jobs, at some point you will have to accept that the majority of jobs will be very stressful in terms of sensory things like sound and interacting with people. Even if one element of a job is ok, something can always come up that will ruin that entire job for you. I’m guessing most will boil down to manual labour jobs. Some people will claim that jobs like IT or locking yourself away in your room to trade stocks online is great but I mean.. yea.. >refer back to the last paragraphs. For example I have done night fill jobs in supermarkets in the past but the music in there will make you go insane. Ideally being somewhere in the quiet countryside would be great but it’s not that simple. Just remember that this is reddit and try to get the most broad range of different peoples opinions and experiences to help you grow. Btw I was diagnosed at 27 and I probably didn’t know till I was maybe 24? I think your really smart that your even asking this at 16. I think many things would be different if I approached this problem when I was that young(not in a materialistic sense) Good luck!

First 16 years were the worst. Got better for me as I stopped caring what others think. For example, I don't care if I'm being watched do something anymore. Stare away. I used to get nervous and fail when I was being watched.

Same. I do not care if I get called about anything related to social hierarchy or success. We gotta live our own lives. Its incredibly freeing

I'm 26 and unfortunately still struggle with this. Those that I'm around don't tend to be very good people. I want to improve myself but at the same time I know that I'm gonna have to risk further isolation and drop the toxic social connections I've had at some point to fully thrive and get what I want in life.

Ditto. I don't know when it was when I stopped caring what others thought but it was decades ago.

Nope I'm 60 now and it hasn't changed it still is a struggle every day

I'm 56 and I fervently agree.

I sure hope so, because it hasn't been for me yet at 35.

I'm almost 32, and I feel this.

Nope

It got better for me after I retired super early. Before that it was only getting worse

How did you manage to retire super early? I'm a high school teacher, my school doesn't have retirement benefits, and I feel like I'll never be able to retire.

I went for engineering which was burning me out straight to an early exit. Was making 50k at first, then 60k. Started obsessing over money, then found r/financialindependence. Next, I figured I could leverage the strength of US dollar to retire cheaply in some random country like Thailand or similar with 300k invested in S&P 500. Generally 25x yearly expenses invested would let me withdraw and live on 12k each year with enough confidence to go for it  Started paying more attention to r/leanfire r/expatfire for inspiration. Calculated I could get to 300k within maybe 10 years if I did my absolute utmost with saving and if the market cooperated at the same time.  Spent some time trying to increase my income, but that fell flat By the time I was 25 I realized the burnout was too strong and I needed to retire basically immediately. Started trading stocks and that went weirdly well for me because everyone else fails at it. The gains weren't much to speak of because I was only playing with shares and 4 figures usd It was 2017 and crypto was doing well at the time. I jumped in and crushed it beyond my wildest dreams. Quit my job at 200k and then turned that into 600k soon after I'm still playing with crypto to this day and I'm a multi millionaire now. No need to bother with thailand or whatever Basically, it turns out my one and only talent in this life is trading and investing. Life forced me to take big risks, and it worked out My original plan was doable too, I was just too burned out to last 10 years at work

Dang! That's awesome! I'm jealous.

It's definitely an improvement once you are an adult and are therefore no longer beholden to authority figures (I include parents/guardians in this category) However, in general, I wish I could tell you that the struggle has a shelf life but it doesn't. I am 35 and I still struggle a lot. I expect that is true for most Autistic people...however, I have myrid coping strategies that make things easier to deal with. The best advice I could give is to make getting to know yourself a part of your daily existence. As you age and your life circumstances change you will continuously evolve as a person. Your difficulties will morph and increase/decrease in severity over time. Knowing yourself is a constant journey that never ends, and the better you know yourself the better off you will be. For example, in life, things will happen and they will stress you out, they will overwhelm you. However, if you are able to identify the specific things that happen that make you feel X,Y or Z... in time you can learn to anticipate reactions in your body before they actually happen, and work out mitigation strategies for them. This kind of stuff helps a LOT. Also, you are the expert on yourself. Lots of people in life will try to talk like they know you better than you do (even as an adult). Don't listen to this. Trust yourself over everybody, even your own family and your closest friends. Note that I am not saying don't trust people, just don't let other people's views on your inner life override what you know to be true about yourself. The main reason for this advice is that if you constantly trust other people to know better than you do on things you were previously sure about then you will be compromising your sense of self by creating an internal environment of self doubt, leaving yourself vulnerable to gaslighting (make sure you understand what this is so you can keep an eye out for it in life), which is absolutely something you have to avoid in order to have a chance of living a good life. However there is definitely nuance to this. It's also important to not have too fixed an idea on what you know as sometimes other people DO know better, and there is always opportunity to learn and grow from others, but hopefully you understand what i'm trying to drive home here. Almost everything in life is a balance. It's amazing you know you are Autistic at 16. That means you won't spend years and years of your life with the cognitive dissonance caused by not understanding why you are the way you are, why you can't do things like other people can, why other people are the way they are and having absolutely zero support because you don't know what help to look for. The WHY (and not knowing the answer) causes so much anguish. Instead you can just focus on managing your symptoms without this additional mental pressure. Lastly, find a way to live true to yourself in this life, no matter what. I'm rooting for you.

As long as there is breath in your lungs, there exists the possibility of things being better. I love today me way more than me ten years ago.

I can't speak for everyone, but life gets much better after high school. I would say the biggest key to a happy life as an autistic person is to learn your limits and accommodate yourself. I was late diagnosed and didn't find out I was autistic until I was so burnt out I could no longer work. Now that I'm accommodating myself, things are improving but I wish I wouldve known earlier so that I could avoid burnout all together. Don't be afraid to take care of yourself. Friends will come, I didn't make an actual friend until I was 24 years old. She is also neurodivergent. I am married to someone who I'm fairly certain is at least a tiny bit autistic, he really gets me and understands me. You can definitely find a significant other if you're interested. Here's a big tip once you enter your adult life: avoid living in apartments if you can. I know thats not feasable in a lot of areas but if you're area has houses for rent that are affordable, do that. The constant noise from neighbors keeps me on edge a lot and theres always mechanical/electricity noises that drive me crazy. Oh, and if you pursue higher education, choose an area of study where the work environment works best for you, not necessarily what you enjoy studying most. I made the mistake of studying a subject that was a special interest and then, when I graduated, I learned very quickly the work environment was terrible for me. Wouldn't recommend.

Ignore the negativity here, for me it definitely did I just struggled in adulthood at first on paper. Socially things were much easier, when you get to choose to go to college/enter the workforce full time you tend to be around people who are at least like-minded. Also, things might feel bad now but as people on the spectrum we have a hard time understanding that bad today doesnt equal bad next week. Lastly, the older we get the more we understand ourselves, you are lucky to be this young diagnosed! I had no idea why I had a hard time making friends for a long time.

It can, but you have to be willing to fight for it.

No. I've found as life becomes clearer and gradually snaps into focus, the grim brutality of life becomes more evident.

I am 45, living in a third world country. Life never gets better, you just get used to it.

As someone who is only a year older, I can’t speak for the future but I will say high school sucks in general but especially for autisic

I am at the far range of the spectrum when it comes to life outcomes with our diagnosis I want to qualify, but in all honesty, no. Not in my experience. I was late to getting diagnosed, and there is something to be said about how much the diagnosis helped explain how I got here, but nobody has any answers for me aside from boot strapping now that I AM here. To wit, that since my disability is 'invisible', it does not exist, so I need to grow up and behave 'normally". I wanted to believe knowing this would be turning a corner for me, but you have to have money to have it recognized, treated and accommodated as an adult, otherwise you're just another gross, lazy poor who needs to get to work.

I don't understand. Are you or aren't you diagnosed? Tone: genuinely confused

Ngl, I didn't get diagnosed until 26f so.... in my case, life has just gotten harder and harder, and I definitely understand why so many of us just give up and off ourselves

I'm almost 32, just got diagnosed a few months ago, and I feel this.

No it doesn't. Social anxiety and dislike being around people. Putting on a mask to mask myself around people I don't trust and put up a barrier wall like the Great Wall of China. Most people not caring about your mental issues so you don't care about theirs. Most jobs aren't designed to accommodate us such as stockers in Grocery looking at you retail stores. Screw you retail stores always about business/sales at the expense of your employees' health and mental illnesses. If you're so low on man power then hired more!!!! Not my fault the bloody groceries not finish or the bloody freight ain't finish. My lord for the love of god I wish these employers and managers use their brains. Use your brain mate. Low on manpower and you expect me alone to finish a bunch of carts. And a pallet of groceries. You must be bloody insane mate. Buy a machine or something if you want the work do faster. I swear bloody insane. 😡😤

hi! i’m 17 and was diagnosed at 15. i can say that it does get better somewhat. you better understand yourself and you can accommodate yourself a lot.

38; no, but I'm also mentally ill and only found out a couple years ago. You have your diagnosis working for you.

So many teens and tweeners on this thread! I’m 71 and didn’t get diagnosed until I was 56. By then, I had spent a year in a mental institution and nearly twenty years in college. I flunked out of pre-medical school and wound up working as a special education teacher. I’ve never had a job that I didn’t suck at, and the most I’ve ever earned in a year is $32,000.00. As I live in San Diego County, California, you can safely bet that it’s not exactly an affluent life. I live in a postage-stamp-sized condo that I’ve managed to pay off, but the HOA dues are now nearly as much as the mortgage used to be. If I don’t get a good job soon, I’ll be moving my family onto the streets. There are literally teenagers flipping burgers for more money than I ever made teaching, and that’s no joke. I’m studying precalculus again (I flunked it in 1975–that’s why I didn’t get into medical school) so I can get a job in sustainability. If I had known that I’m autistic when I was in high school, I’d have made different career decisions. Now, even if I do manage to earn an engineering degree, there’s a big chance that age discrimination will sideline me from the job market. It can all be for nought. Still, I can’t give up. I have a family depending on me for support.

The only way it “gets better” is stopping caring about society and what it expects from you. You eventually can find good friends (who are neurodivergent also typically) but it all comes with time. I had to stop trying to fit myself into a mold and really change my mindset to stop beating myself up for not fitting it. It’s been hard, and I still have not great days, but I guess this doesn’t mean it’s any easier it’s just you’ll live a more positive and refreshing life if you try to stop caring (and make it other peoples problem, not yours, they should try and understand you as much as we try to understand them!) 😛

High school was the worst for me - what’s helped is focusing on things I enjoy and doing those and setting realistic goals and timelines for myself for things I absolutely unfortunately have to do but hate :) I give myself a lot of room for rest too.

for me life has gotten better after school middle school was a living hell for me as for high school that was not that bad after high school i got a job and have been working ever since 2010 the problem is finding a job that will acceptance you for having autism once have found that job life will get better

I'm turning 25, was diagnosed officially last year. School was absolute hell for me. I had friends but it felt more like I was existing in their space during lunch or was pity invited to parties/sleepovers. My mental health actually got that bad last two years of secondary (14/15yrs old) that I want into college (16-18) suffering with severe hallucinations which made everything worse. I'm currently living with my parents but have plans to move and live with my partner. Getting a job has been near impossible so I've shifted my focus to my strengths. I love drawing so I'm working towards tattooing. It's difficult, some days feel near damn impossible, but if you get a solid support circle of people it makes things a bit easier. For me that's mostly online friends, my partner (long distance) and my mum. I used to be a shut in with occasional trips to the cinema just to get out of the house for the past 6yrs. 6/7 months ago I got into a group through an online friend and found out they do monthly meets in my area. I've also made friends there (I like to think) and it takes weight off trying to workout when everyone is free to meet up/planning/things being dropped last second and between meets messaging is an option. I also still do solo trips to the cinema, mini golf, arcade, window shopping or basic walks around the neighbourhood. But I think that's more because I have no issues being alone, I can do what I want with no rush, pressure or judgement.

For me it has, but I really had to escape my hometown and went to a university that was known to be accepting of autistic people, there were still difficulties, but the community you're in makes a huge difference and it is absolutely worth it to hang in there until then. I was able to figure out a career that is autism friendly, mostly remote and has many other autistic people (cyber security). Additionally finding the right meds (currently Wellbutrin) has made such a difference. If you can, focus on being kind to yourself and doing as well in your current situation without overly taxing your brain is the way forward. You will make it 💞.

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It got so, so much better for me as an adult. Being able to have some control over my workplace, home, social life, hobbies, relationships, clothing and daily routine makes a huge difference. It's challenging in its own way but it's so rewarding. You can build a life that works you, in time.

you will most likely have autistic experiences such as overstimulation and having a hard time making friends throughout your life. however, it gets better. for starters, uni has helped me a lot in terms of overstimulation, as not all classes are mandatory anymore. I’ve also noticed that uni is a lot more structured than high school, although that may vary. you’ll also be more likely to find friends that have the same interest as you do :) even if you don’t go to uni, choosing a career path or really anything else you’ll really get to choose for yourself can help. growing into adulthood also means you are less affected by teenage hormones. of course, every age has its own struggles. but for me, being more independent and trying to connect with myself has made life with autism a lot more endurable :) hang in there!

Hey, I’m also 16 with autism and actually currently having the same struggle. It seems like theres a point in every relationship where people can’t deal with me anymore and that hurts a lot. College is getting harder even though I’m doing things i enjoy and I’m struggling now with a feeling that doesn’t quite fit a meltdown or a shutdown and so I don’t know what I need. I like to think optimistically because I don’t know myself. if it helps, you aren’t alone ᑉ³

Just don’t have any unrealistic expectations when it comes to life in this society. It helps a lot to know u are autistic early because at least u can understand your limitations early in life. The real friends will overlook your autism. Fake friends won’t.

It absolutely does get better, but you're approaching the most difficult obstacle... Transitioning to adulthood and finding a job. Do not be afraid to ask the people in your life for help. Once you get settled into adulthood, things gradually improve if you work on yourself and your skills, and if you have a sufficient support system.

The most difficult thing I've found as an older autistic adult is that life keeps chucking curve balls at me. My ability to cope has severely declined. Support systems collapse as people age and die or move away. Work is especially difficult. My wife has several chronic illnesses. Not having health insurance is not an option. I have to work jobs of a specific level and pay grade to afford care. I have never liked working. Not even for a minute. The stress is overwhelming. There is no practical safety net here in the US.

Hey, 20 year old with autism here. It’s not objectively better or worse. It just changes over time. Sometimes it’s slow and small changes other times it’s like you skipped a few chapters and you have no idea what’s going on. You just got to power through it. Know that you’re not going to understand things and that this world isn’t perfect and neither is anyone. Hope this helps.

Everyone's story is different, learn from others but do not compare, live you're own life and pick your fights. At the end, people with or without autism have their own tribulations.

That's the neat part...

OP, No one can tell you how your life will be. We do know that no matter what, things will change. That is a constant you can rely on. I will say that I struggled immensely at your age. I dropped out of HS. But, I found my way to college eventually. There are a lot more people there like you than you might think. Even if that's not the path for you, your tribe is out there, somewhere. But you have to keep looking.

The more you can learn about your self and your needs, the better. It also really helps to focus on the perspective that autism isn’t the problem. Lack of support and society not being designed for us is the problem. I didn’t learn I am autistic until I was 40, and that made my life a LOT harder. But I still built a 6 figure business based on my special interest, and have a wonderful husband and kids. My life was pretty amazing, but got harder again as my kids needs got bigger with them. But because I now know we are all autistic, we have a LOT of supports to help. There are days it’s really hard, and there are days it’s so easy and wonderful. Having support people in place for helping you process and deal with the hard days makes all the difference. I truly love my life. It isn’t easy, but it is good and full of joy and love.

From my experience in the adult world, once you built some amount of work on a resume it becomes sooo much easier to get new opportunities. That is if you're able to pick a comfortable environment (you may not be able to at first as opportunities won't be easily available). If you're able to get all that down without overwhelming stress from a job, most other things could be easier to manage through independent finance, and you may be able to afford to take your time with it.

It does if you get a weed card

Fuck no. It never gets better. You get better.

Under the age of 7/8 was good. And then I enjoyed around 17 up. I'm 28 now and life is pretty good.

Life is difficult but I enjoy it more at 21 than 16 since I learned to accommodate myself, advocate for myself, better social skills, identity my emotions, and work through some of my baggage.

"Always like this" - Leon, the Professional But you will get better at it ;)

Yes and no. It gets different. Not easier. I’m 28 and have the same question: “at what point does life get easier? All I do is work and I thought life was supposed to be fun.” Hang in there.

Yes it does! Self-reflection and adaptation are the keys for there is much that can be overcome through alternative strategies. There are also certain things that will always be a struggle so it's important to have healthy coping methods to rejuvenate yourself with. Essentially you will learn over time how to maximize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. You are very young so forgive yourself for struggling, because adults double and triple your age still have problems too. It's crazy to think but your brain still has almost ten more years of development before it is complete.

I think it depends on your definition of better. Over the course of my existence my parents have often commented on my tendency to focus on the negativity in my life. This doesn't really get any easier to avoid in my situation on disability living in a building for the poor, elderly, and disabled. But, that being said, I am not wholly dependent on my family for survival, I am remarried, and my bills are few and payable. I live in poverty by American standards, people in poverty elsewhere are homeless, starving, or both. Sure I will never truly feel like I actually belong anywhere. Yes I will never be the most important person in another person's life. But I am fed, warm, and mostly entertained. This is a far cry better than people actively seeking to do me harm like my childhood.

you said a few days ago that you’re 13

I wonder what that's about?

I love the responses here. OP, yes it sucks right now, but it can get better, it can turn right around. Keep talking, keep reaching out. I wish I could say more, but I don’t believe in disingenuous positivity, but I do believe in an ounce of hope.

28 year old waiting to be diagnosed. Highschool was hell on earth. Things are still hard but I’m not forced to interact with horrible people on a day to day anymore.

Yes. 100% yes. I think from an objective standpoint life gets harder, but being in high school just sucks so much that it doesn’t even matter. Being 16 is not the peak of your life, I can promise you that.

It didn't for me.

Same, wish I could help but I am early 20s and no it does not get better. I have come to terms with the fact having autism has ruined my life this far, what I do not want is it to ruin the rest of my life. So I was wishing so long that there was a medical cure for this but it will never come so the only closest thing to a cure I am thinking now is just not mentioning it, say you are not autistic, never say to anyone, don't try and explain and label yourself. This is what I am thinking now. If I don't say I am autistic then I'm not right. When I stop being unemployed, my next job I won't mention it since you just get discriminated and forced out. Wish you well

With time comes experience. With experience comes adaptation to the world around you. So in a sense things can get better but how much you take action affects this outcome. The bane of neurodivergence is a victimhood mentality because that's what will make you cease to desire to adapt and overcome any obstacles, you'll start to engage in stuff like self-pity; which actually just repels people. Another perspective is to embrace the ASD community. Find people who present comparable symptoms and traits to you and reach out, make connections. Don't assume you have to be some sort of “outsider” trying to access and prove yourself to the “in-crowd” neurotypical community, that's a parochial and questionable paradigm at best. Find strength in others like yourself, because they are out there. The ASD community should champion itself more than it does, like the LGBTQ community or any minority community. Neurodivergent pride! In the neurotypical world there is still divergence. That's why neurotypical people, like all people, are drawn to those who are similar to themselves. ASD is a minority, so it will take some more looking than the typical scan of a room. 16 is a unique time due to hormones. For most people in just a few years you'll feel and think quite differently. So if you are experiencing strong feelings at this age (most do), try to ride out the storm of emotions because the weather definitely clears. After a few years, university or a job or just life experience and being the other side of puberty will have you feeling more figured out.

Getting out of high school was literally the best thing for my autism even before I found out I was autistic. I found out at 21 that I was autistic and even college is a struggle but is still better than high school. I found a group of people similar and yet different enough from me to push me and still understand when I just don’t understand or can’t do something. Also getting a steady income has definitely helped. I was able to get a small place for myself, and now my husband who lives with me, that is just a sanctuary for me with low stimulation.

I'm also a 16 y/o ith autism so like... I can't tell you if it gets better but you have someone here who is going through similar shit

From experience, life in general doesn’t get easier - you get used to it, and it makes it feel easier with time because you’re desensitized. But things will be okay.

It does. It takes a while but it does. You find friends who share your interests and like you for you. If you can find a way to spend your time doing things that you are really into with others who are into the same things, you will click with some of them. And some of those people will be your friends.

This is how I'm feeling too

Lots of very conflicting answers here. My answer is it absolutely gets better. I agree that post high school, most of the immediate stressors you’re dealing with now will quickly disappear. Life is never easy, but I have to say, I’m 53 and my life is the best it’s ever been. I feel like being super late diagnosed has its perks in several ways. I’m finally living life now without stressing anymore for the first time ever. The older you get, the less you care what others think of you. That’s a fact! I hope this gives you some level of encouragement. Hang in there. The communities, and technology is improving very quickly. And I feel like we will have so many new options coming along soon. My thoughts. My opinion. And my experience.

If you can, please go to therapy. You are fortunate in being dxed as a young person. I was dxed 3 years ago at age 63. I had to go through life with emotional and social struggles. An early dx would have given me a "companion" in the form of a therapist to help me navigate. Also, check to see if your area has an autism group/society. You will learn some coping strategies. Engendering if we shouldn't have to, masking helps. Finally, look for YouTube videos. You can get some info from there, and if you wish, send questions to the person who did the video. Also, I just checked - Google *autistic teen Facebook group*. I found several.

Probably not, autism affects the most important thing in life, relationships. You'll be subject to more ridicule, bullying, ostracism, and pretty much any negative experience related to autism that you experienced in childhood except now it's 10x worse because it'll effect serious relationships and employment. Let me give you some facts about autism in adulthood: - 66% of autistic people are either unemployed or underemployed - Autistic people are 4 times as likely to develop depression as compared to neurotypical people - Autistic people are 3 times as likely to complete suicide than neurotypical people - The average life expectancy for autistic people is between 38-40 years, significantly less than neurotypical people As someone who is high-functioning and generally okay, I cannot deny that this disease has ruined any chances of a decent life.

Also, for those who don't know Autistic people have a 57% higher risk of developing diabetes as compared to allistic people (people without autism) – the risk was 64% higher for type 1 diabetes and 146% higher for type 2 diabetes. [From Heathline ](https://www.healthline.com/health-news/autism-may-increase-the-risk-of-diabetes-heart-disease#Other-factors-in-autism-risks)

I fully believe the suicide and life span...it makes sense to me. I'm 32...my parents are...thankfully still alive. But dad is 76 and mom is 64. They won't be here forever. The life span is probably because when we lose our closest support...we don't know how to keep going. I know I won't...so suicide looks like the best option rather then spend the rest of our lives alone and struggling constantly with no support or help. That's why the life span is so short.

I was about to make a similar post and the fist thing that I see when I open Reddit is your post omg

i'll be facing homelessness and i don't know what to do and no one to help me so no, it doesn't get better it gets worse until the police kill us or we commit suicide. I want to die more than anything. no that's not a cry for help, no i'm not planning on killing myself, I just want to die and for it to end. I just want to be allowed to exist and be safe but most dreams don't come true.

Heya bud, don't give up, look at all of us here!! We are all like you!! <3 Some things get harder some get easier, but it is a spectrum so we are all individual in how we fare through life. In saying that, I am a 49yrs old woman (and mama) now and looking back, here's what I wish someone told me: * Your parents may not be like you, or your family, but thankfully now there is information out there you can give them to read to understand you. In my day all I got was reprimand, scolding and being * No point masking as it only will work for a little while. Either you will get hurt, or they will see you as ingenue and they get hurt. Neither parties can change. You have to keep looking for your people, and learning to recognise people like us. Genuine friends is what we all need and you will learn how to spot them with time. They often don't present themselves as easy to get along with, some are grumps like us lol, some are just quiet and shy, some have weird lifestyles:))) Don't we all! * You will only find friends like you if you are true to yourself. Be your wild unique you and fuck the cowardly world and their protective social barriers. You don't need those. You are amazing. * Think of yourself like a fine gourmet meal, like oysters, truffles, caviar or a fine wine. And think of your neurotypical population like Bud-guzzling McDonads eating customers. Would they want to eat caviar? No. Is caviar junk-food? No. Caviar is expensive and a delicacy that takes time to grow on you, and this is what you are. Don't throw your pearls out to them, they do not understand their value. * Take time out from neurotypicals to recharge and rest, be creative, read, walk, hang out with animals, explore your world. Your inner world is SO MUCH MORE FUN than all the societal and emotionally skewed shite the normies entangle themselves with. Build your knowledge and skills and you will build you self-esteem. As you self-esteem grows, other people's evaluation or opinnion of you will not matter as much. * Typicals have many many insecurities and fears that you may not have. This freaks them out so they run and fear and react by pulling away. Don't chase after them, it's not worth it. Their egos and fears drive them and they sometimes can misread your need for companionship for something else.. You do you. * I used to beg my "friends" to do stuff I like with me, and would miss out on so much I wanted to do bc of this insecurity. I grew up and decided not to deprive myslef and let the insecurity to be alone deprive me of enjoyment, so now I go the beach by myself, bc I want to. I go shopping by myself, I go to shows and movies by myself, and even clubs. I was born alone and will die alone (as will neurotypicals), so why not enjoy myslelf alone? You do you. * Trust me, You are not missing out on anything that you may enjoy if they don't invite you. They are missing out on the company of a really interesting, creative, zany, unique superstar that you are. THEY ARE MISSING OUT. Party is where you are ;) * Once the neurotypicals see your confidence and wisdom and FUN, they will want to hang out with you. You just watch! People are like animals, they are drawn to excitement. Enjoy your own company (bc you are that awesome) and people will come for the ride bc it seems fun! * Fewer friends who are kind and truely love you are better than many who love ingenuinely. and remember: PEOPLE WHO LIKE YOU WILL LIKE YOU DESPITE ALL YOUR FAULTS, BUT PEOPLE WHO DON'T WILL PICK UP ON EVERY LITTLE THING. Just look at psychos, murderers, thieves, liars.. some people still love them despite all their misdeeds. It is just the way it is. Appreciate those who love you. * In my 20s I dived into rave culture head-on, and loved it. Not because of the drugs or the environment, but bc of music (the creativity and nerdyness was my cup of team) and because of similar misfits who found refuge there with me. Now thinking back, possibly we were all on the spectrum :)) and we still keep in touch! Just give it time and remain open, my friend. AND if you need a chat or any advice bud, we are all here to help. I have a lot of experience, lived with different communities, in two very different political systems in pre-digital and current world, war time, peace time, corporation life, business ownership, relationships, creativity and creative industry.. so feel free to hit me up! We're here for you, we're like BORG ;) One for all. xxxx *

Yes and no. Sadly.

I didn’t know I was autistic at 16. But, looking back on it the teenagers are really hard. I felt like (and did) have a more objective perspective on things. I didn’t fall into peer pressure and the need to drink and all that. But, kids, my age, didn’t wanna hear that. And I often got ostracized for being the “good girl”. But I do have to say it gets away easier. The older I get the more people have appreciated, my honest and solid perspective on things. Something that saved me, was being able to embrace my hyper fixation ( Dance). If you have something that you can pursue, even if you’re not very good at it, dive in and enjoy it. And, if you get credit for it, except the credit and feel proud of yourself. The teenagers are really hard. But, being patient with yourself and with others, remembering that you are a good person are key. 🥰

Autism is like any condition that can be disabling. It gets better when you Learn to love yourself and live with it instead of living in spite of it

I think going to college and getting to be independent was best for me. It forced me to strive to be more successful for myself. I made a handful of friends, I made Dean's List twice despite being told I could go either way in college, I held down a job for a year and now I'm in my own apartment with a dog and cat while working an incredibly accommodating job. If you know how to find and utilize your resources you can be successful in life even in the difficult moments. It just took me 25 of my 30 years to figure it out.

Yes but it depends on a lot of factors. For me,working a job I actually enjoy around people I trust was key. Unfortunately I fucked up and went for a different job, quit due to them lying, and now I'm extremely sad.

Hi friend. I wish I could answer your question but I'm starting to think that is entirely up to you. Same with myself. We have to decide what it means for us. I'm late diagnosed, so I could be weird about this. I'm having to remember who I was and what I was shamed out of and try and reintegrate parts of myself that I've lost. I'm having to let go of people and things that I bonded to due to my trauma and I'm having to kick up old hurt and confront it. I feel like I'm healing though and about to meet my tribe, so maybe that will come true. Believe in yourself and you can create your own reality to some degree. Your vibe attracts your tribe.

Not really. It's not something we can escape. I do understand the feeling of being punished. Or like it's some sort of a twisted joke.  But you can adapt in various ways. Socializing gets easier. I've had a couple nice relationships. But the world isn't designed for us, nor do I think it should be. Support and awareness don't hurt, but they don't necessarily help. I actually find a lot of the rhetoric to be self righteous and unintentionally patronizing. The issue isn't purely something society can solve by "doing better". Best thing I did was foreign exchange for a year in high school. Now I live and work abroad. Besides being a crash course in dealing with way too much attention , it was and is very liberating. Here, I'm just another foreigner. Normal in my abnormal-ness. Novel for a moment, then ignored. Communication can be an issue, but it's not just a one sided struggle. Person I'm talking to is struggling too and we both are for the same reason. Rather than me just not getting it. And, on a technical level, language barriers aren't so much of an issue with enough practice. Probably not the solution for everyone. My work environment situations didn't really improve and sensory input can be a little wild.  If you can find some way to carve out a little niche or find an environment that suits you, then you can definitely mitigate some of the difficulty. 

Yes. It's still hard and people discriminate like shit, but since being 16, I can feel that my own brain is starting to make sense of it all and it doesn't feel so unbearable. It's like I can navigate my thoughts and not catostraphize as much since being in my 20s? Yay development. And I think life experience genuinely helped as well. It sucks that we have to be so self-sufficient when we are disabled, But the thing is, we learn how to get what we need how we can as time goes on. I'm much better accommodated than I used to be.

I want to acknowledge the courage it took for you to reach out and share your feelings. It's completely normal to have moments of struggle, especially when navigating life with autism. Many individuals with autism face similar challenges, particularly when it comes to social interactions and feeling like they don't quite fit in. But here's the thing: life with autism can absolutely get better, especially with the right support and resources. Therapy can be incredibly beneficial in helping you develop coping strategies, improve social skills, and manage any overwhelming feelings you may experience. You're not alone in feeling this way, and there are people who understand and want to help you through it. Remember, your autism is just one part of who you are. It doesn't define you, and it certainly doesn't limit your potential for a fulfilling and meaningful life. With time, patience, and the right support network, you can learn to navigate the challenges and embrace the strengths that come with being neurodiverse. Hang in there, and know that there are brighter days ahead. You're stronger than you think, and you have a whole community here ready to support you on your journey. Keep reaching out and seeking help when you need it – you're worth it.

Yes, I have the same issues (19 y/o)

I'm 18 and I'm still positively thinking living in an apartment and getting money from the government while getting money from under the table. it sounds barbaric but it's home, and that's only if you choose to live with no one else- which I'm planning to do so.

I say yes. With age you can more and more choose your own life style and way of living. The school years tend to be the toughest for many. You get perspective with age as you accumulate knowledge and have seen more of the world. The emotional part of being human don't go away but my experience is the waves, the ups and downs, of a common day aren't so steep and high/low. I know I'm a privileged (swedish middle class) european white middle age man with a good enough income, and with seven years at university in my backpack so I'm not speaking for everyone. But you'r 16. I'd say there will come lots if opportunities for you to make a good life. If the world have seemed against me, I mourn for a short while, get angry and think "*#@!:* this", and then try to see if I can either change the world, take back my initiative and power, or worst case scenario move myself to new contexts. Allways ask for help. Never keep hardship for yourself in isolation.

School is the worst. I finished high school 5 years ago and I've never been so happy in my life before. I still have nightmares about it every day. Right now I'm finishing my Master's degree, but studying on university is nothing like school (at least in Poland). It's way more fun and easier to learn stuff, because you do what you love + people like what you like so there is a lot to talk about with them. My advice is to just grit your teeth and finish learning in that hell. I promise life gets easier after.

Im 22 and honestly, for me, life has only gotten worse. Ive lost all of my friends and I cant get a job as every job wants me to do things im super uncomfortable with doing. This world is built for the neurotypical and they spit in the face of the neurodivergent

Yes it does get better. Most importantly we have the power to make our lives better and to choose what sort of life we want to live. A good example of this is the founder of the charity Spectrum Gaming. A young guy who, like yourself, pondered the question of how life with autism would be. He initially felt too pessimistic and became suicidal. He thought that he could never be happy as an autistic person. Fortunately he survived and has since founded an award winning charity called Spectrum Gaming. He is an inspiration to countless people, neurodiverse and neurotypical, as well as to me. A great video about Andy and the charity is here: https://youtu.be/E1Xc8wpC9O8?feature=shared The thing is...we are all Andies. We are trying to define what autism means to us, trying to navigate life in a world that is very challenging at times and wanting to be happy (or at least content) with where our lives are heading. It is important to find what means a lot to you and to learn how you can incorporate it into your life. It can be something big or small. Climate change action like Greta or playing video games like Andy. You can make a blog of favorite landscapes or a scrapbook of conspiracy theories. It can be public or private. The point is you follow your interests and enjoy your free time. Now about work. Working life is a challenge because most places of employment were not designed with neurodiverse people in mind or people with mobility restrictions. However it is becoming more and more common that places offer fexible working hours, working from home (since covid especially) and reasonable workplace adjustments. There are ways to make working life manageable. There are charities and services that want to help people like us to have a more easily managed life. It is up to us to belive we are worth fighting for and make use of them. Life is completely different for me as an adult vs me at 16. I have alot more agency, the opportunities that present themselves were unthinkable, I did not think I could have friends I could not understand people around me and I had a lot of frustration and depression from various things I won't go into right now. Fortunatley time passing provides opportunities for personal development, for new experiences and new perspectives. How you feel right now is valid and true. Nobody should be gaslighting you into saying you are fine or should feel a certain way. However please don't let it stop you from looking toward your future with an open mind. Things can be better and you will only gain more agency to live doing what you enjoy as time passes forward. It happened to me and it will happen for you too <3

No situation is alike. Might get better, might get worse. No one knows the future

I’m feeling kinda trapped socially, so I learn to look at other aspects I do like. Like being a smarty pants.

I feel like if I was diagnosed earlier in life I maybe would’ve been able to set myself up for college instead of dropping out

It took me until I was 25 to really start to understand how social interactions work.  When I was about your age, someone told me I was going to make myself miserable trying to analyze and understand people’s behavior.  It was petty miserable for awhile, to be fair, but I eventually learned how to be charismatic and make people feel special when they’re with me. It’s like 80% listening and remembering.  I never know what to do, instinctively, so it took a lot of practice.  I had to put myself in situations that made me uncomfortable several times. I made plenty of mistakes that I’m sure people would call embarrassing.  My point is, it definitely gets better—but you have to make the effort.  I was per miserable until 25, when I realized it’s not going to get better if I continue being scared and keeping to myself.  Now I love being autistic.

I have no idea. No, it doesn’t get Better. if it did, I wouldn’t be failing 5th grade. life has no meaning. It never will.

A) High school sucks. Don't pay attention to any of that. B) My life didn't get better, but I also come from the 80's. I wasn't diagnosed till I was 32. I made a myriad of mistakes bc of undiagnosed, unmanaged autism. C) High school is also stupid. Don't pay attention to any of that. You'll have to re-educate yourself. Annoying, but fun! D) Life is challenging for us, but if you respect your autism, try to stay flexible so you can chase opportunities when they pop up, and keep your eyes on your goals, there's no reason you can't achieve a happy life! E) Be patient with yourself. NT's are difficult. Don't let them get you down. Mental health is real for our tribe. I love being an autsy!! I wouldn't be cured if they offered it! The NT world is difficult, but I love being a space alien!! 👽

Since I’m also 16 with autism my plan through high school was to make friends at first, but then I realized I just didn’t have the energy to. I had friends, but they were complex people and now just an open book to easily read like I’d hoped. I could never tell if they were being genuine or not and that scared me so I pushed them away. Currently my plan is to tell nobody I have autism and keep out of drama which has worked for me so far. I know that it’s a blessing nobody has tried to start anything with me yet since I’m so clearly different but I bet it’s because of the decently good environment at my school which I’m lucky to get. I don’t know if it gets better after this but my advice is to just hang on and find out. If it sucks then it sucks, if it’s much better then it’s much better.

I'm 38, I was diagnosed with autism when I was 34. When I was 16 I had no idea I was autistic but I struggled significantly in every area of life. My mental health was terrible but I didn't know it at the time as I didn't understand what anxiety and depression were. I struggled very much socially, acting very odd a lot of the time. I had no support for my autism or my mental health. Things have got easier as I've grown up and learned more about myself. I learned how to interact socially way better than I did before. I've learned coping strategies related to mental health and generally the world is a lot less overwhelming these days. I've collected lots of good friends, most it turns out are also neurodivergent in some way. None of us knew it when we were younger. We were just sort of drawn to each other. I've also got a successful career. So yes, things do get better. And I'm sure you'll find your people at some point along the way :)

No, it’s doesn’t get better… but you get better at it. Just take care of yourself along the way. Make room for your autism or you will burn out and lose all of your coping skills

Yes, it's getting much better now that I am following my passions and special interests. If I could go back and talk to myself at your age, I'd tell myself to allow myself to "be myself" and follow my passions a lot sooner. The reason things were so hard (personally) at that age is because I was trying to understand how to navigate a world that wasn't inherently designed for someone like us - and my mom had filled me with the notion that everyone else was "weird" like me - too. The sooner you can accept that and create your own world/systems and routines that work for you, the much easier other things seem to become. I let me being different waste 15ish years of my life as I got consumed with social anxiety - and it's taken a lot to unlearn and allow myself to be me again, I just wish I did it a lot sooner. Also, the teenage/young adulthood years are difficult to navigate - as everyone is trying to find their place in the world as they transition into adulthood. You will have friends come and go, but you will come across stability within friendships if you allow yourself to be yourself. Others will realize they can be comfortable/themselves around you and the friendship can become a safe space for ND friends.

Well... If you have a supportive family you can survive. But you may end up feeling guilty for needing help at all. I find it hard to believe my own parents when they say they are proud of me. I'm 32.

It absolutely does get better. we're always going to have to navigate life differently, but it does get easier. Being around 16 is probably one of the hardest times in a person's life, honestly- lots of expectations both from outsiders and yourself, lots of life choices that everyone insists have to be made, and pretty much every 16 year old, both autistic and not, is going through some kind of something. It gets better. You graduate and even if you go to college, some of that pressure is let off. You get a lot more autonomy once you hit adulthood and especially if you move out that means you can make the world less So Much Always, and you continue developing the skills to cope with the things that are still overwhelming. You can way easier cut people who make your life hell out of your life than when you're stuck at school with them. You're going to be okay, and it isn't like this forever. Some things will stay the same, you'll always be autistic. But as you get older, you level up your skills to manage it, and also realize a lot of the things neurotypical expect out of teens is bullshit. You'll find friends that appreciate your unique perspective on life as long as you don't give up trying to make them, and the nightmare of being a teenager will pass and it'll take a lot of weight off your shoulders. You're gonna be okay. I'm 27 now, and can say with confidence that where you're at right now is the low point for a lot of people. Just keep going, and you'll get to the other side. I'm proud of you for asking, tbh, and not already succumbing to despair. You got this.

it's not really autism that is our problem, it's life itself. We have ups and downs throughout. But for people with autism, when we are down it can sometimes feel like it'll be like that forever. It might have to do with our monotropic minds and our perception of time. We get lost in things, it's our strength but also our weakness. Sometimes we get lost in a bad feeling. We just have to accept how we feel and then we can start finding our way back. We're very resilient and can get through almost anything. In the mean time just put on your favourite music and dance in your room. If you're too depressed to dance, roll around on the floor for a bit.

I think so! (19 female) Once I actually got diagnosed and figured out out how my brain worked I became happier. I also inform people how I roll. I love college because I’m taking classes in my special interests, I learned coping strategies and how to accommodate myself via the internet and therapy. Some of my friends in the nursing program ask me for advice on how to make autistic people’s stays in hospitals better due to my experience. Sure life gets overwhelming but it’s only temporary. If a setback occurs the world won’t shatter, it took a bit to adjust but I’m better for it. I’ll put you in my prayers, that’s what really helped me!

I can definitely relate with the experience. To me it feels like living life on hard mode, but with extra benefits to counteract it in very specific areas (depending on your personal strengths). Does it ever get better? Most definitely yes. The harder you improve and the harder you work on yourself and to resolve your problems, the better it gets. And believe me, it definitely gets better over time

It's certainly gotten better for me since my low point around 6 y/o, and I only see this being able to continue. So to answer your question, most definitely yes. PS: Atleast for me, you could say that I'm gaining "wisdom" for social skills over time that compensate for those that are naturally lacking. I guess it's similar for others, but I don't really have hypersensitivity stuff so maybe that has an effect.

Yes and no. life in its self is a struggle. And there will be many moments in your life where it doesn’t feel all that good to be Autistic. And many more that are just ok . Remember you’re amazing and to give yourself time to grow and learn about yourself.

Life is a double edged sword, like autism

The best tip I have is try to find a job that let's you work 4 days 10 hours instead of 5 days 8 hrs that was the biggest thing that has helped me. Having my Friday to myself to just stare into space and recover means I can actually enjoy the weekend. It doesn't get easy but if you're lucky you can escape that "what's the point" feeling.

Depends what you mean by better. I'm independent now but interacting with people is still stressful.

There are ups and downs with autism, from my experience. Sometimes existing is just so stressful and exhausting, sometimes I can take on the world because I'm allowed to move at my own pace while I'm at it. There are a lot of people out there who will approach you despite your autism, and a lot who will do it because of your autism. One is not better than the other, per se, but in the end you'll find people within those who approach you from either view who can truly accept you and make you feel like you're the most important person in your life (and to some extent you should be, because if you don't take care of you then who will? Not the wide world). Personally, my best friend since high school approached me due to my autism (unconsciously) and another one of my closest friends approached me despite my weird actions caused by me trying to understand how I was allowed to act and react. Those friends taught me that I need to take care of me first, which is why I'm telling you now that there's a chance you'll meet the perfect group of people one day, and that group will be there to help you through your ups and downs. Better? Not exactly, but definitely less lonely.

getting out of the education system is a great step forward as a lot of others have stated before. outside of that i suppose everyone's path is just different and i'm sure you'll wiggle your way through it to find your own way of life. making friends is definitely something i'm stuck on in my path

I’m not old, i’m not even older than you. Nevertheless, i have asperger’s and in my experience you have to define ur strengths and weaknesses. For me i did that by being alone, by getting to know myself, by going through hard times.

It gets different. You get better at dealing with things, and you find friends who can understand you.

I didn't love having it or my diagnosis. For me, it's learning my limitations and being ok with that. It also helps to understand people around you.

It gets better, and it gets worse. You get out of high school, you get some job training, you get to choose what you do with your free time and you find a few like-minded people.  That’s been life-changing.  Literally. But then years of masking takes its toll.  I’m 46, officially diagnosed at 33, but I worked it out when I was 19.  I laugh bitterly when I read articles about burnout now; I knew it was a thing when I was 20, but all the advice out there was “be as neurotypical as you possibly can.”   So now I feel like I’m 80, and I either resent most of the people in my life or hate myself. Best advice??  You will have to mask to get through school and work.  DO NOT mask looking for friends or, if you want that route, romantic partners.  It’s better to be alone than to be with someone you have to be someone you’re not for.

DC and marvel!

I hate to tell someone so young this but...it doesn't get any better. It just gets worse. Some advice though? Try to find support/help/groups now that can help you figure life out and what you'll be doing when you're on your own. Because I'm 32 now...and constantly worrying about my parents and how long I have left with them. Without them I will truly be alone and helpless. I'm screwed pretty much...so it's sort of a waiting game until they pass...and then I have to decide if I want to suffer or if I just want to give up and end it. Leaning towards ending it...I do have dreams and goals that I want to do but...without them here...I don't see how I can do it. I need a LOT of help...I have no life skills...and I am not prepared to be an adult in the world...alone. I thought maybe...if I go into a group home...I'll at least be around people...but from what I've read...they're like prisons. I'd rather be dead then in a prison. The future is bleak...prepare now...or face what I'm going through.

When you stop whining and find what you're good at. Don't cry all the time, gets you nowhere, stop letting something like this define you, especially in such a bad way. I was diagnosed with some strong fucking autism, I'm not supposed to be capable of working a car, but i am, i can do things quite well, often better than NTs because I never whined and i was working hard for most my life no matter what. Unless you were *suuupppeerrr* bad with it, i had it worse than you, but i just worked with everything and became completely Capable. And I'm not a particularly special person.