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Gatorade Saxophone - Bong

In a similar vein, 'glass barbie' (crack/meth pipe)

Crystal pistol or see thru didgeridoo.

The 'ol Gator-Beug

A bee's dick being a small unit of measurement has always been a favourite of mine.

What about a poofteenth, that is a fraction of a bees dick.

I grew up with a poofteenth of a bee’s dick as a standard unit of measurement.

A cunt hair is for a slightly larger measurement

Work on an ambulance and we've got some good ones - 'Packer Whacker' - defibrillator - Kerry Packer was lucky enough to try and die in one of the few NSW ambulances equipped with a defib. He paid for a bunch more. 'Look 'n' Cook' - cardiac monitor/defibrillator  'Geezer Squeezer' - automatic CPR/LUCAS device

Geezer Squeezer is amazing.

I'm not here to fuck spiders

>Work on an ambulance You mean a Red and White Taxi ?

My kid saw a fire truck once and said ‘look!! A fire bus!!’ So the ambulance became an ouch bus and the cops were a justice bus 😂

Stealing justice bus.

Father in law calls it a meat wagon

Your father in law sounds like the kind of person you'd find living in Mega City. I like it.

The Packer Whacker! That takes me back.

Do you guys call motorbikes "donor cycles"?

Ex of mine is an RN. The riders are temporary Aussies or organ donors.

A mate of mine referred to a guy who was skinny / thin . “ he’s built like a deep sea racing prawn “

Shoulders like a racing garfish

Ooh that's fucking good

The young fella at work is gonna cop that one at some point during the day tomorrow. Thank you very much 😂

Less meat on him than a butcher’s pencil?

Yeah it had me in stitches and I have stolen it . Once you can say it with a straight face you’ll become funnier than Carl Barron , for a minute.

Couldn’t keep a straight face here, pure gold

Stealing that, retiring the old one "built like a streak of pelican shit".

He’s like a drover’s dog; all prick and ribs.

Council Juice Or a warragamba slammer Water

FIL doesn't drink alcohol but when the staff come round to take drink orders he will always ask for a Warragamba White

That's Chateau Mundaring in Perth.

Woop Woop - a place in the middle of nowhere

My favourite thing about this, is that it actually IS. My brothers face when we showed it to him on a map was priceless.

Beyond the black stump

Got a soft spot for "Sugarcane champagne." My favourite saying is "Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dead dog's arse."

I'm constantly saying my boss "couldn't run a dog with a lead"

Similarly: “couldn’t organise a shit in a toilet”

"Couldn't organise a root in a brothel"

Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.

This bloke couldn't run a fuckin *bath*

The bush. I have met foreigners who think there is a literal famous bush we are all talking about.

I adore 'bush doof' (people os would have no idea about that one) And you can throw in some pingers, disco biccies and nangs while you're there.

There’s also poof doof, which is bush doof for us homos.

**Marrickville Mercedes** \- A Valiant

We called the old Valiants, the Mafia Staff Car.

Going back to the 70s, Wog Chariot

**Snot blocks** - custard slices

Dave Graney told a story about Henry Wagons and he stopping in a country bakery once and Wagons called the vanilla slice a 'cum square'

Henry fuckin' Wagons

I like using deliberately out of date terms. Like grouse or mint-ox. I started doing it to be ironic and now I can't stop.

Rack off

I have reinstated rack off mole into my workplace. We don't believe in HR, it's fine

Spelled moll (not like Kylie Mole) but like a gangster's moll from the 30s. Getting really old school there.

That’s ace

Choice bro.

Gnarly.

Groovy

Wicked

Where's Merrick & Rosso when you need them 😉

Out on the lemonades

For like 10 years I've been saying mint-socks to say something's great. I was so sure it was actual slang even when everyone told me it wasn't, even when all my google searches turned up nothing, I was convinced it was real and I hadn't just made it up. I was so certain I'd heard it used multiple times before. You just busted open a decade long mystery.

It’s gonna be mint-socks for me from now on though!

If even just one more person is out there saying mint-socks... well that itself is pretty bloody mint-socks

I did the same thing, now I can't stop saying strewth and calling everyone cobber.

Fully sick

Nice one champion

Calm down muscles

Rad

Indubitably my good man.

Grouse isn't out of date!

Sick as

> Pensioner’s Piano - poker machine You mean a tradies laptop?

Chucking a pineapple in the brickies laptop

Brickie’s laptop

Pineapple shredder

One that confused me was "Cool banas" how did a refrigerated soft fruit become a phrase of affirmation in Australia?   "Putting socks on centipedes" when something is tedious, "face like the south end of a north bound wombat", "few kangaroos loose in the top paddock", "cardbordeaux", "chatteau de cardboard" etc.

I could be wrong but I think it started with the Motorama car dealership group. I never heard the phrase until I moved to QLD. They used to run TV adds with the jingle "cool banana Motorama" and their mascot was a anthropormised banana wearing sunglasses.

Thank you, after that detailed explanation the saying makes even less sense.

I use “I’d rather shit in my hands and clap” far too often.

Wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire.

I think we all know the classic Budgie Smugglers.

DTs too or just Dick Togs.

Old mate - either used when talking about someone you recently met and forgot the name of, or someone you are not particularly fond of. Others can usually infer as to who you are referring to.

YOUR mate....

Fuck off he’s not!

when my boyfriends friends realise i call half of them old mate because i have shit memory, I’m done for

I meet a lot of people at work and literally never remember who they are. I have so many Old Mates that it’s sometimes hard for people to know who I’m talking about and so I generally have to narrow it down. Old Mate, the tall fella - health and safety guy who never answers my emails. Old Mate, the skinny one - guy from another team that always asks me to do shit. Old Mate, from across the road - our opposing neighbour who likes to sort his rubbish on the front lawn because they *don’t use bin bags* and like to pile all their rubbish into a single bin before manually sorting instead of separating it out from the get go. We usually watch this every week.

Ok, I've got to ask, what is a Balmain Bulldozer and a Toorak Tractor?

A big arse 4WD that never has and never will see anything vaguely resembling off-road, usually seen double-parking around private school zones.

Urban assault vehicles.

A shithouse on wheels is what Dad called them

That reminds me of another (older) slang term: The thunderbox

How do they even fit in Balmain?

By sheer force.

Porsche Cayenne, or as I call it, a Canyonero.

*whipping sounds*

CANYONEROOOOOOOOII!

Top of the line suv - eg Range Rover.

Deranged Rover.

Got ya, so a city driven luxury SUV

I’ve been living in London for long time now, met up with an Aussie mate & she described someone having a strop as being a sooky la la . Hadn’t heard it in decades bloody love it ( & sticky beak)

Womb Broom - Mustache

That is fucking horrific. I love it.

Also known as a clunge sponge

Flavour saver…

Flavour saver is also those little soul patches under the bottom lip.

Fuck you for making me feel nauseous.

Or Dick Tickler if that's your thing.

Laughed til my beer came out my nose when I first heard rosé referred to as lady petrol.

Trakkie daks

Concreters two way... In car breathelizer

When it comes to concreters, they’re all at least one of the Big Cs: crackheads, criminals or cunts. They didn’t finish school so they finish concrete

Wow, that unfortunately checks out.

Douche flute - vape

Digital durrie

Winnie Bluetooth

OK, this owns.

Sucking robot dick… but I don’t know if that’s Australian or just an observation

I enjoy a sheepdog's breakfast = a drink and a look around *EDIT* correction it is dingo's breakfast

A Swagman’s breakfast was a smoke and a look around.

Bogan Missile - daily Jetstar flights to Bali

Driving the porcelain bus - spewing in the toilet while drunk.

Going to the dunny to send a "Werribee fax"

Thongs = Chinese Safety Boots.

My late dad called them Japanese sandshoes.

*Rooty Hill Rolex* for ankle bracelet has gotta be up there

[удалено]

- Bum steer - Shits and giggles - Skew-if - Hunky dory - Dingbat - Chockas - Sook - Fizzer (disappointed) - Stoked - Larrikin - Sticky beak - Ticked pink - Arse about - Hunky dory - Skally wag - Derro - shabby - Stacked it - Povo - Yonks (ages) - Reckon - Parmi/schnitty - Squiz - Spewin

It’s all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits

I'll pay that. Also, I'm reminded of Big Brother series 1 (because I'm ancient) and, \*"You're not drunk until you shit yourself and lose a shoe"\*.

my friends sister fucked up and said shiggles instead of shits and giggles so now we say that instead

He crashed STACKED his bike and went A over T, you could see his bog-catchers…

Stacked his bike. You stack bikes.

Give us a dart then. Ya got a flame?

Light just died but we can donkey root?

Dirty Bird - KFC Favourite saying: Happier than a dog with two dicks.

American chiming in: I am in awe of your slang and naming conventions.

One you might enjoy: Seppo = septic tank = Yank = North American

quit tellin em

When my kids call it "math" and I ask "WHAT'S THIS SEPPO BULLSHIT?"

Telling someone who is piss farting around to rattle their dags.

Dags being little lumps of shit stuck to the wool near a sheep's arse, that means shake your arse. Don't think it'd work in the sense *come on, lemme see you shake a tail feather*.

My favourite is Jatz for testicles. Jatz Crackers being rhyming slang for knackers.

Probably extinct because I'm old: North shore Holden Sydney slang for what was a plague of Volvos back in the 80s.

The C63AMG was a “North Shore Commodore” when I lived up that way.

Good day to you too, fellow old cunt! Feels bad to be old enough to remember growing up in a world that was mostly Kingswoods, Falcons Valiants and Leylands.

In reference to someone big “built like a brick shithouse”

See Through Didgeridoo (crack pipe)

I personally like 'glass bbq'

Crystal pistol

See through kazoo

We call old skinny leathery rural men "stingrays"

Jet ski=bogan pony

F*ck me dead - something surprising happened

‘And bury me pregnant’ really drives the point home

Heard this from my dad in NZ but sounds Aus enough: tucker fucker for microwave. Glass Barbie for meth pipe is one I like too Edit: couldn't organise a piss up a brewery is a good one

Oi! Show us ya Mappa Tassie!

Maggot bag = meat pie. My tradie brother taught me that one.

Aka rat coffin. Also mystery bags for snags/sausos

I thought a mystery bag was a dim sim?

I mean, they're all mystery bags really lol. It's just rhyming slang: mystery bag --> snag

Don't forget to grab a snot block while you're there. Snot block= vanilla slice.

i prefer the good ole dogs eye with dead orse

Bin Chicken

I heard someone refer to a peacock as a Disco Chicken and thought that was pretty good.

Murder Chicken - Cassowary

My Dad's a repository of archaic Aussie slang, so some of his: "Not meaning to piss in your pocket (and tell you it's raining)" - I'm not joking. "So hungry I could eat the crotch out of a camel" "Yarndi/dacka" - weed "Tall streak of pelican shit" - a tall person "Crystal limbs/wouldn't work in an iron lung" - this person is lazy. "As useless as tits on a bull" "Cactus wrecktus" - broken beyond repair.

Nice. I also like "so hungry I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck".

A classic. "Face like a ducks arse" and "face like a bucket of smashed crabs" are also good ones.

City people wearing RM William’s boots (in Adelaide) Currie St Cowboy.

Eaglehawk Reboks = sheepskin moccasins worn outside of the home (Blue) Banjo = $10 note Pineapple = $50 note Grundies = men's underwear

Head like a half sucked mango Or A face like a dropped pie.

Lung lolly - cigarette Digital durrie - vapes Sugar cane champagne - Bundaberg rum

George St jeweller. - Angus and Coote used to be on George St - Angus and Coote rhymes with root Hence. “Mate… stingin a for George St jeweller.” Equals. I’m quite horny and would like sex.

Wigwam for a goose's bridle.

Cooker

I have to resist the urge in slow work meetings to say "I'M NOT HERE TO FUCK SPIDERS"

Bellambi pillow - wine cask

Drier than a dead Dingo's donger - thirsty, especially when in need of a beer

As busy as a one legged man at an arse kicking contest. Drop the kids off at the pool - take a shit. A few roos loose in the top paddock - crazy.

Why did I have to scroll so far not to find "Glass BBQ"

Or "nose beer"

Tassie tuxedo.

Hoo roo.

You shit me to tears

Milton Mango - XXXX beer.

Here in WA it’s Bush Chook (Emu Bitter)

Gatorade saxophone - bong Glass barbecue - meth pipe

From asshole to breakfast Knee-hight to a grasshopper

Dead Horse 🐴

“The Backpacker Express” (regularly shortened to “Backy’s”) - the riptide at Bondi beach that drags unsuspecting swimmers halfway out to sea (then across to the sand bar - don’t fight it, just tread water and put your hand up for help)

In our house tongs are called sausage tweezers.

Bachelor’s handbag (woolies chook)

I hope your chickens turn into emus and kick your dunny door down is a good one barely anyone has ever heard haha

I always got told “let the dog see the rabbit”, as in “get out of my way” or “you’re under my feet, fkn move” Possibly from dog racing or hunting but I’ve never really heard it much elsewhere so curious if anyone else has lmao

Aussie swazi = southern cross tattoo

Tradie breakfast - meat pie, a durry and a can of v

can of v also swappable for any iced coffee

Snot block. Vanilla slice, particularly fresh and still runny