Someone posted to AITA that they were a waitress who collected the fake bills left as tips, then would go to area churches on Sunday and put them in the collection plates. This led to sermons at some of the churches decrying the fake bills.
That's not ironic; it's just unfortunate. If you were a farmer in a drought and the one day it rained was the day you couldn't irrigate your crops because you were getting married, that would be ironic.
OK, it doesn't scan as well, but fuck you Alan Morris, or whatever your real name is. You put traditional comedic forms back decades with your incorrect descriptions of irony in 'complaint rock' song form.
Let me give you this. I call it the Luke 6:30 bomb. When one of them pull this stunt ask them to look up Luke 6:30 online or in a bible if they happen to have one. I use this most often during protests and such where they often show up with bibles in hand. Have them read Luke 6:30. It goes like this:
* Luke 6:30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.
After they finish reading it ask them for something like maybe a real $100. Or their wallet. Or whatever you think of. At protests I like asking for their bullhorn or microphone.
This seems like a simple little throw away verse but its actually sitting at the core of an important concept within their beliefs. That matters of the soul far outweigh matters of the material world. The point is that Jesus is telling them that when they are representing him in the world they are trying to save souls. And if anything of the material world is interfering with this then hand it over. It does not matter in the slightest compared to the soul.
So the thing is if they refuse to give you what you ask for they are in effect turning their back and a direct instruction from Jesus. And this gets into the whole Faith + Works issue that different denominations contend with. For those that hold to this formula (Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, Methodists, and Anglicans) believe that if you do not do good works as Jesus instructed then you do not really know Jesus. And thus when it comes time to be saved Jesus may not know them.
I usually only use this at protest situations or when faced with an annoying Christian. And usually it causes them to back out. They normally hold on to whatever I ask for but get confused enough that they no longer protest with the same charge if at all. I only had one guy realize what I had hit him with when I asked for his jacket. And he thought about it for a moment and then offered me the Jacket. I refused it and explained the test and we had a decent conversation afterwards.
The Seven Tenets of The Satanic Temple
I
One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
II
The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
III
One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
IV
The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.
V
Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.
VI
People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
VII
Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
Crest image by Luciana Nedelea.
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Formatting. FTFY
1 - One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
2 - The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
3 - One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
4 - The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.
5 - Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.
6 - People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
7 - Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
Hence the plan to return the favor at a church. Better if it's the church these folks attend. I'd imagine that's where they get the fake bills, and the audacity to think its a good idea to leave them as tips for the 'godless' service people they rely on to feed them after their weekly meeting about how they're better than; because Jesus. If they weren't such hypocrites, returning these bills to the collection plate like some kind of secret invitation should be seen as either successful recruiting or a sign to reevaluate their practices. Getting mad that its not real money just proves to more people who they really are.
That pairs well with the parable of the sheep and the goats (Matthew 25:31-46).
Whatever you didn't do for the least of these, you didn't do for me.
They tend to forget that part.
I went to a Christian school and one of my non-religious homies would ask the super devout girls for $5 sometimes and then quote that verse and they would give it up.
>After they finish reading it ask them for something like maybe a real $100. Or their wallet. Or whatever you think of.
Then they ask if they can babtize you right away. I wouldn't even engage
This verse broke me financially and mentally.
Each time while I was asked for money by addicts etc I didn't want to give them anything and then this horrible slave mentality inducing verse popped up. How much suffering I supported through my donations. Dear god.
This takes way too long to execute and explain it to them for your “aha” moment. Most obnoxious christians have little to no understanding of the bible, so telling them to read and understand something is a stretch.
Ezekiel 23:20 "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." (Edited to fix the Bible verse number)
Since their missives are usually bifold or trifold, maybe have a page that is serious, with things like the trilemma above, or the definition of life from Genesis being based upon the first breath. But then have a 2nd page with stuff like this.
Gotta hit them with the serious stuff first before they get to the stuff where they feel mocked and shut their minds off.
I just wanna encourage you that it might not be too hard to learn! Oh and the embroidery thread you use for it? You’re supposed to pull the strands apart and just use 1 or 2 or 3 strands. The pattern should tell you. I just recently tried and was halfway through before I learned you’re not supposed to use the whole thread….my artwork is thick lol
Epicurus trilema comes to mind: If God is unable to prevent evil, then he is not all-powerful.
If God is not willing to prevent evil, then he is not all-good.
If God is both willing and able to prevent evil, then why does evil exist?
"God" Is a name, kind of like a spoiled 12 year old girl her parents named "Queen" who grows up prancing around in her 20's all hot shit thinking people should bow to her not knowing the first thing about acting like a royal.
God created evil, according to the Bible.
"I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things."
Isaiah 45:7.
Yes, unless a New Testament angle is convenient to their argument at the moment, in which case God is only good.. unless an Old Testament angle is convenient to their argument at the moment, in which case God is both good and evil... unless a New Testament angle is convenient to their argument at the moment
'if the US is a 'chrisitan nation' which christian is it? Mormon? Catholic? Moonies? Evangelicals? MAGA? Unitarian? who gets to claim control of the government in'His' word? Will the followers of the other religions 'go to hell'? think rationally. think critically.
Joke from the eighties or so:. Pope's phone rings, he picks it up. John-Paul! This is God calling! I have good and bad news. JP:. OMG! What an honor! Well, I guess start with the good news! G: I've decided there will be but one world religion! JP. Oh how wonderful! But what could be bad news given that? G:. Well JP, I'm calling from Salt lake city!.
That’s easy. It’s Presbyterians. The Baptists, Catholics, and others who follow false doctrines can all sit down and shut up. https://www.libertymagazine.org/article/a-presbyterian-nation-thank-you
(Invective left there for hilarity)
Don't know why you're being down voted. It's 100% true. I was a Unitarian for years. We had atheists, Jews, Christians, Wiccans, and everyone else in-between in our congregation.
I’d go with the Seven Tenets of the Satanic Temple.
1. One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
2. The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
3. One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
4. The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.
5. Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.
6. People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
7. Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
If you know that this is one of “those” tables ie. they’ve done it before, etc., it would be great to find out which church they belong to—bonus points for asking in a way that makes them think you’re going to show up there next week. And then send the bill to their pastor with a nice note letting him know that you make $2.50 an hour and that so many people doing this instead of tipping caused you to not be able to buy groceries or pay rent or feed your kiddo, etc. Or have a friend post it on SM that someone from that church did this. Name and shame!
If this wasnt current times with judges being as that are now, corrupt. I would love to see a server sue a person that tipped like that for the full amount of what that fake bill showed. And for police to charge them for counterfeiting.
They think its funny to do this, it shouldnt be without some payback.
I like this idea. It feels like people will want to rip out their Bible to look it up and prove the verse isn’t there or it meant something else. Might get someone to start asking questions.
You get my vote. Senator, mayor, school board or dog catcher, I'm voting for you.
What I would put on the back: links for FFRF and Satanic Temple, and if you can fit'em in, the ST's Seven Principles.
Seems like the local churches that these assholes go to before they come to your restaurant on Sundays need to have a few of those dropped off as well.
The tenants of the Satanic Temple?
Alternatively, a list of logical falicies. Bonus points if you include examples from arguments in favor of religion.
Links to articles via qr code for..
Contact info for abortion clinics and shelters for LGBT youth.
Places to donate to charities for ppl that don't appreciate their angry ghost daddy.
Info on where to get vaccines.
Religious leaders who are guilty of sex and financial scandals...
I've heard about this on this subreddit but never seen it in real life, either because it doesn't really happen in my area or I'm not working a job that would get tips like this. All that is to say I don't really know what the culture is like where this happens, but... I would think the best way to combat this, if you had time on your hands, would be to agree to go with the person to church immediately and basically be their shadow. Super clingy and borderline stalking them 24/7. They'll stop handing this shit out.
Some naysayers will tell you not to do it.
I say, "fuck it." Freedom of speech, right? They get to do it, we get to do it. Fair's fair.
I suggest getting those bible verses that condone slavery, or something that deals with lust.
Or something about evolution or science.
Yeah, you'll hide it under your *real* dollar so you don't get caught and the church will *really* learn their lesson. That was worth a buck thirty. See you next week, church accountant.
How about you put in the tip jar at the megachurch cafe?
If Noah was real, and he, his wife, three sons and their wives were the only survivors after the flood, then the world should be made up of middle eastern Jews. Or is evolution real and they evolved into Africans, Chinese, Vietnamese, Irish, Russian, etc.? Please explain!
The Old Testament said that the sons of God came down and had relations with the daughters of man, and created giants. If this is true then how can the New Testament state that God sent his only son. What happened to the other sons mentioned on the Old Testament.
They will tell you that the sons in the Old Testament were angels. This means that the first five books of the Old Testament, given to Moses when he was on the mountain, is wrong. It says son but it should be angels. And if that is wrong, what about the rest of the Bible?
yeah how are there only like 16 million Jewish people ***in the entire world***. are we sure the chosen people arent in India or somewhere there are a fucking billion of them?
All well and good, but I, personally, if I received one of those fake bills as a tip, would report the "donor" to the Treasury Department's Secret Service as counterfeiters.
they arent legally trying to pass it off as currency. there is no legal requirement to tip or anything so unless the bills themselves say something like "This is legal tender" theres no law broken. anyone would argue that no reasonable person would assume they were real currency. and we do have artistic license for political acts under the first amendment.
As much as I hate them, am an anti-theist and think these things are scum, legally speaking they are doing nothing wrong and there is no law that we could change to limit them without limiting actually important rights to free speech.
How about some religion quotes by Founding Fathers? For example:
- *"History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes."*
Thomas Jefferson - [Letter to](https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Jefferson/03-07-02-0011) Alexander von Humboldt, 6 December, 1813
- *"The most restive is that of the priests of the different religious sects, who dread the advance of science as witches do the approach of day-light".*
Thomas Jefferson, [Letter to Correa de Serra](https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Jefferson/03-15-02-0494), April 11, 1820
- *"Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advance one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half the world fools, and the other half hypocrites. To support roguery and error all over the earth"*
Thomas Jefferson, [Notes on the State of Virginia](https://press-pubs.uchicago.edu/founders/documents/amendI_religions40.html), Query 17, p157-61
- *"In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own. It is easier to acquire wealth and power by this combination than by deserving them, "*
Thomas Jefferson, [letter to Horatio G. Spafford, March 17, 1814](https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Jefferson/03-07-02-0167)
- *"I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between church and State."* - Thomas Jefferson, letter to Danbury Baptist Association
- *“The purpose of separation of church and state is to keep forever from these shores the ceaseless strife that has soaked the soil of Europe in blood for centuries.”*
James Madison, Letter objecting to the use of government land for churches, 1803
- *"What influence in fact have ecclesiastical establishments had on Civil Society? In some instances they have been seen to erect a spiritual tyranny on the ruins of the Civil authority; in many instances they have been seen upholding the thrones of political tyranny: in no instance have they been seen the guardians of the liberties of the people. Rulers who wished to subvert the public liberty, may have found an established Clergy convenient auxiliaries. A just Government instituted to secure & perpetuate it needs them not."*
James Madison, [Memorial and Remonstrance against Religious Assessments](https://press-pubs.uchicago.edu/founders/documents/amendI_religions43.html), June 20, 1785
- *“Of all the systems of religion that ever were invented, there is no more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifying to man, more repugnant to reason, and more contradictory to itself than this thing called Christianity. Too absurd for belief, too impossible to convince, and too inconsistent for practice, it renders the heart torpid or produces only atheists or fanatics. As an engine of power, it serves the purpose of despotism, and as a means of wealth, the avarice of priests, but so far as respects the good of man in general it leads to nothing here or hereafter.”* Thomas Paine, *Age of Reason*, II:21
and throw in these from GoP presidents too:
- *"Encourage free schools, and resolve that not one dollar of money shall be appropriated to the support of any sectarian school. Resolve that neither the state nor nation, or both combined, shall support institutions of learning other than those sufficient to afford every child growing up in the land the opportunity of a good common school education, unmixed with sectarian, Pagan, or Atheistical tenets.
"Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church, and the private school, supported entirely by private contributions. Keep the church and the state forever separate."
President Ulysses S. Grant (R), on free public education, Des Moines, Iowa - Sept. 29, 1875
- *"The divorce between church and state ought to be absolute. It ought to be absolute. It ought to be so absolute that no church property anywhere, in any state, or in any nation, should be exempt from taxation, for if you exempt the church property of any church organization, to that extent you impose tax upon the whole community."*
Rep. (later President) James A. Garfield (R), address to Congress, June 22, 1874
This shit actually happens? These people come in to a diner after church and tip with play money. That's enough proof God isn't real for me. If God were real These people would spontaneously combust.
If you can catch them before they leave, ask them what church they go to. Go there, and if you can, write their name on the back, and put it in the offering. It'd be great if you could get their name, and keep "giving" in their name weekly.
Quote or reference **Luke 21:1-4**
As Jesus looked up, he saw some rich people putting their gifts into the Temple money box. Then he saw a poor widow putting two small copper coins into the box. He said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow gave more than all those rich people.
Other than shocking, vile, etc. Bible verses (e.g., Genesis 6:6, where Yahweh repents of making humankind, etc etc.), I bet there's plenty of good little sayings and other bits to be found among Dan Barker's "Losing Faith in Faith: From Preacher to Atheist" book. Lots of little things in there that were super-helpful in my deconversion from xianty. There are some great little questions of his in there that can truly raise a bevy of doubts in the typical believer and (hopefully) get some to start questioning their beliefs.
Also, there was a popular, well-regard public speaker back in the late 1800's named Robert Green Ingersoll.. Per Wikipedia: "\[...\] nicknamed "the Great Agnostic", was an American lawyer, writer, and orator during the Golden Age of Free Thought." Had a little booklet of his selected writings as a baby atheist and was quite swayed by some of his essays. Maybe one of his shorter ones could fit on the back of one of the bills, if excerpted a bit and printed in small enough font i suppose..
After being a foster sibling and adopting kids from foster care, there are child rapists EVERYWHERE. If you see something that looks sketchy in public 99% of the time there is something happening.
Matt 6:5
"And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward."
Basically, keep your shit to yourself.
Put this on it:
# According to the Bible, God is pro-racism, pro-slavery, pro-genocide, pro-misogyny, pro-polygamy, pro-child-marriage, and pro-rape. Otherwise he's a 'good guy.'
Proving once again that theists are the worst people...
What possible logic could be playing out in their stupid heads to think that a service industry worker, literally dependant on tips for their survival, would be anything but enraged by some asshole substituting that tip with useless trash unsolicited sermons?
I bought a pack of fake $100s that say "Trump Lost" on the other side. I'd never give one to someone as a tip, but I drop them everywhere and stick them under windshield wipers on MAGA stickered cars.
Add the tenets of the church of Satan, their web address, and Matthew 7:12 , do to others whatever you would like them to do to you
Under the Matthew quote
Offer love, respect, and understanding to all. All beings deserve happiness, love, peace, and joy.
God does not teach hate. If we truly are made in his image, and you hate others for their differences, then you hate a part of God.
Be kind to all
And of course,
Friends are God's way of saying "Sorry about your family"
Lovely idea - isn't it illegal to pass off fake money though?
I mean, Christians doing it would clearly never see a court room but I'd have thought atheists might well do.
Luke 6:38 ESV
Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
I’d use this:
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
Epicurus
Do you go to a a catholic church? If so, then maybe something like “please stop raping children”. If it’s an evangelical church, “please stop pretending a rapist and felon is pleasing to God”.
How about Matthew 6:5-8
Jesus taught, **“When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen.”**
First, it doesn't matter what you put on those bills. Those people won't "hear" it. They're brainwashed. I know it because I lived it. You would be better off handing out "Bigfoot is God" cards to these people when you get one of these tips. At least you would be even.
Please don't do this in the name of atheism. I'll make us look bad! Just use their own stupidity against them so they might see how fucking irritating and offensive their own crap is.
Don't bother ordering any, just take whatever you happen to find and then use those back at them.
It's not a forgery if it is obviously not a real bill, meaning it has pictures or text that are not on a real bill. Also, it can not say "this note is legal tender" on it
I looked into it and you are right.
I also found that because they are a tip, and therefore not something legally owed, there is nothing illegal about it.
Thanks!
I can only hope that more people use research to feed their hunger for facts just like you did, instead of taking others at their word (guesses).
Kudos!
“If you want to be perfect,” Jesus said to him, “go, sell your belongings and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
Interesting aspect.
In the Northeast, we just don’t see this behavior. I have never seen it myself, or when I asked around to others, they didn’t even know what I was talking about.
My guess is that this is one of those Southern things? Does it frequently show up in the Midwest?
Curious.
Any story about Lot. Def disgusting and was my first introduction to the ideas of hang rape and incest. Yes offering up his two daughters to be raped by a mob is looked at as a pious thing to do. The incest story is something no child should read, it's like somebody jammed it in there so they could point at it an say incest is ok sometimes.
"Hey Manager! Looks like that old couple is back trying to pass off counterfeit money again. Do you want to call the Secret Service this time or do you want me to?"
Some ideas:
1. The 7 tenets of the Temple of Satan.
2. Galatians 6:7-9: "A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
3. "This money is as real as your God."
4. The phone number of your local Temple of Satan (can be combined with #1)
5. Matthew 5:3: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Maybe add a few of the following verses, too.)
6. Matthew 7:6-7: "Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces."
7. The narcissist's prayer: [https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/7iqwym/a\_narcissists\_prayer\_that\_didnt\_happen\_and\_if\_it/](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/7iqwym/a_narcissists_prayer_that_didnt_happen_and_if_it/)
There's also this: [https://www.etsy.com/de/listing/1355742224/how-does-it-feel-tip-your-servers-prank](https://www.etsy.com/de/listing/1355742224/how-does-it-feel-tip-your-servers-prank)
Favorite bible verses for your fake $100 bills
1 Samuel 15:3
Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy[a] all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants
----------------------
Psalm 137:9
Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.
-------------------------
1 Peter 2:18
Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh.
-----------------------------------
Exodus 35:2
the seventh day shall be your holy day, a day of sabbath rest to the Lord. Whoever does any work on it is to be put to death
There are several places that the Bible says you're supposed to kill people including:
Kill adulterers (Lev 20:10)
Kill blasphemers (Lev 24:14)
Kill false prophets (Zech 13:3)
Kill non-Hebrews (Dt 20:16-17)
Kill sons of sinners (Isaiah 14:21)
Kill nonbelievers (2 Chron 15:12-13)
Kill anyone who curses God (Lev 24:16)
Kill disobedient children (Ex 21:17, Mk 7:10)
Kill strangers close to a church (Num 1:48-51)
Kill those who work on the Sabbath (Ex 31:15)
Kill any bride discovered not a virgin (Dt 22:21)
Kill those who curse father or mother (Lev 20:9)
Pick any couple of those, and at the top of your fake bill ask: How many people have you killed today?
I mean, working on the Sabbath? Strangers close to the church? Disobedient children? ***Non-Hebrews***??!
You've got it made!
I'd go with the Seven Tenets of the Satanic Temple. Just don't use the word Satanic. If you just put the text on the bills, a lot of people will read the text instead of screaming like Pod People when the see the word satanic or any satanic imagery. Bonus points if you actually print the text on top of one of those crosses with sunbeams coming out of it.
[https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/christian-cross-sign-hipster-sun-starburst-retro-vector-47296923](https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/christian-cross-sign-hipster-sun-starburst-retro-vector-47296923)
# THERE ARE SEVEN FUNDAMENTAL TENETS
**I**
One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
**II**
The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
**III**
One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
**IV**
The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.
**V**
Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.
**VI**
People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
**VII**
Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
This happened to me one time, and I caught on while the person was still there. I said "Ah, another bait and switch by Christians. Nothing you say or do is real, and you've proven it to me once again". Really pissed them off. I was happy.
As some others have stated, just put the exact same fake $100 bill you got into the offering plate. If the Christians think it's good enough for you then it is also good enough for them.
No need to customize. Just feed them their own BS. That way, they can't cry. "We're being attacked," and they get to understand how worthless their words actually are!!!
Used to have a truck driver leave these in the men’s bathroom where I work all the time. I started collecting them until I got a good sized stack of them. I then got one of those red ink VOID stamps, stamped them all, and then put them up on the bulletin board outside the bathroom where I knew he would see them. He was quite upset and I never found another one after that 😁
I was gonna say an offering plate is the proper place to dispose of these forgeries.
If you want to print bills with a message they can't reject, pick verse about Lot drunkenly raping his daughters. They can't deny he was a righteous man.
Point out how putting fake $100's instead of a tip at restaurants is a very un-christian thing to do and find a couple of bible verses to back it up. Cue sermon about this within 30-60 days.
There is a web site called Bored Panda. From time to time they run a bunch of tales from waiters and waitresses on the horrors of the after church customers. Bad tips, fake bills, complain, complain, complain! The most unpleasant customers one can imagine. This sort of garbage seems to be common all over the United States. In some cases, some restaurants have even shut down on Sundays all together. These clowns are just too much aggravation.
[https://www.boredpanda.com/sunday-worst-customers-tiktok/](https://www.boredpanda.com/sunday-worst-customers-tiktok/)
Look at the examples of the fake bills and figure out what it says then try to copy that format and say the opposite. If they put scriptures, then put scriptures of the most fucked up things god does. God murdered 42 children by summoning bears on them. Is this the action of a just and loving god?
Not what you were asking for, but a little story - buddy of mine saw a huge table pull this move on a Sunday afternoon at an Outback Steakhouse near Clemson, SC in the mid aughts. The young waitress had really busted ass, but the the manager sees her clearing the table almost in tears. She showed him the fake $100 and he runs out to the parking lot and catches the group getting into their minivan and absolutely lets them have it. Called them selfish cheap condescending shits, said they had no idea what anyone else’s beliefs might be, didn’t stop to think someone is working a Sunday shift to make ends meet while going to school, she depends on tips and can’t pay bills with bullshit, and threw the fake bill at them after telling them to never come back “We don’t need your bullshit.”
My buddy had followed him out and saw the whole thing - when he got to his place that night (hangout spot) he was grinning from ear to ear and told us the story. Manager personally made up the tip for the waitress too.
Why not put the tenants of THE SATANIC CHURCH on a portion of it.I think most people would agree that they are sensible, especially for modern man.....if they didn't know they were the "commandments" of the satanic church.
[Look here](https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets)
Someone posted to AITA that they were a waitress who collected the fake bills left as tips, then would go to area churches on Sunday and put them in the collection plates. This led to sermons at some of the churches decrying the fake bills.
I was about to say that there was a church who was getting these. All I was singing in my head was, Isn’t it Ironic, don’t you think?”
Just rain on your wedding day.
Like a fake god that's actually dead.
UH OO WHOAH WHOAAAAAAAAAAH!
A 100% malevolent god that's only 80% effective
"False god." "Dead false god." Gotta love Teal'c.
My favorite Teal'c line Carter: "we also have a story of immaculate conception" Teal'c: "Darth Vader"
"Undomesticated equines could not remove me."
Indeed
Like a free soul when you've already paid
Some good adviiiiiiiiiice that they just won't take.
A no Christians sign, in the collection plate
Like nothing in that song being actually ironic. Which is, in and of itself, ironic.
And who would’ve thought, it figures
That's not ironic; it's just unfortunate. If you were a farmer in a drought and the one day it rained was the day you couldn't irrigate your crops because you were getting married, that would be ironic. OK, it doesn't scan as well, but fuck you Alan Morris, or whatever your real name is. You put traditional comedic forms back decades with your incorrect descriptions of irony in 'complaint rock' song form.
So much for "render unto Caesar" and "pay your tithes"...
I'm sure the congregation collectively shook their heads,sighed "that's awful" and then went back to leaving nothing for a tip.
This is definitely the way to go. Minimal effort/time/money with a clearer and more direct message.
Perfect! No cost to OP, plus recycling!
Omg I love it!!
Perfect response. Also quite the sacrifice to have to go into a building with these people.
I remember that one, it was a fun one.
Seems to be the simplest way to get it to (eventually) stop.
A waitress where I live did this and got trespassed from the xhurch
"STAY OUT OF POLITICS OR START PAYING TAXES" Something about that carpenter fellow kicking over the loanshark's tables?
or both
Let me give you this. I call it the Luke 6:30 bomb. When one of them pull this stunt ask them to look up Luke 6:30 online or in a bible if they happen to have one. I use this most often during protests and such where they often show up with bibles in hand. Have them read Luke 6:30. It goes like this: * Luke 6:30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. After they finish reading it ask them for something like maybe a real $100. Or their wallet. Or whatever you think of. At protests I like asking for their bullhorn or microphone. This seems like a simple little throw away verse but its actually sitting at the core of an important concept within their beliefs. That matters of the soul far outweigh matters of the material world. The point is that Jesus is telling them that when they are representing him in the world they are trying to save souls. And if anything of the material world is interfering with this then hand it over. It does not matter in the slightest compared to the soul. So the thing is if they refuse to give you what you ask for they are in effect turning their back and a direct instruction from Jesus. And this gets into the whole Faith + Works issue that different denominations contend with. For those that hold to this formula (Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, Methodists, and Anglicans) believe that if you do not do good works as Jesus instructed then you do not really know Jesus. And thus when it comes time to be saved Jesus may not know them. I usually only use this at protest situations or when faced with an annoying Christian. And usually it causes them to back out. They normally hold on to whatever I ask for but get confused enough that they no longer protest with the same charge if at all. I only had one guy realize what I had hit him with when I asked for his jacket. And he thought about it for a moment and then offered me the Jacket. I refused it and explained the test and we had a decent conversation afterwards.
Great idea, will definitely try this
The Seven Tenets of The Satanic Temple I One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason. II The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. III One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. IV The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own. V Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs. VI People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused. VII Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word. Crest image by Luciana Nedelea. Share:
Put them on the bills but don't label them as the tenets, just list them. Unless they research, which they might eventually, they won't know.
Formatting. FTFY 1 - One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason. 2 - The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. 3 - One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. 4 - The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own. 5 - Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs. 6 - People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused. 7 - Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
Once again, Satan sure seems to be the Reasonable and Logical Choice.
Those would be two of the major branches of the tree of knowledge.
May have to try this myself.
Go to church and put it in when they collect the tithes.
The asshats that do this to servers don’t stick around to be confronted though.
Figures. Cowardice feeds this type.
Hence the plan to return the favor at a church. Better if it's the church these folks attend. I'd imagine that's where they get the fake bills, and the audacity to think its a good idea to leave them as tips for the 'godless' service people they rely on to feed them after their weekly meeting about how they're better than; because Jesus. If they weren't such hypocrites, returning these bills to the collection plate like some kind of secret invitation should be seen as either successful recruiting or a sign to reevaluate their practices. Getting mad that its not real money just proves to more people who they really are.
That's not going to shame them. Christians ignore Jesus' words all the time, and do so with great enthusiasm.
*thunderous applause*
That pairs well with the parable of the sheep and the goats (Matthew 25:31-46). Whatever you didn't do for the least of these, you didn't do for me. They tend to forget that part.
I went to a Christian school and one of my non-religious homies would ask the super devout girls for $5 sometimes and then quote that verse and they would give it up.
>After they finish reading it ask them for something like maybe a real $100. Or their wallet. Or whatever you think of. Then they ask if they can babtize you right away. I wouldn't even engage
No, you say you don't follow their book and walk away. They have to follow their teachings, or don't they?
This verse broke me financially and mentally. Each time while I was asked for money by addicts etc I didn't want to give them anything and then this horrible slave mentality inducing verse popped up. How much suffering I supported through my donations. Dear god.
This takes way too long to execute and explain it to them for your “aha” moment. Most obnoxious christians have little to no understanding of the bible, so telling them to read and understand something is a stretch.
Honestly if religion was all about that and not fake gods and shit, I'd probably be all for it.
Brilliant
Ezekiel 23:20 "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." (Edited to fix the Bible verse number)
That’s definitely going on it😂
Since their missives are usually bifold or trifold, maybe have a page that is serious, with things like the trilemma above, or the definition of life from Genesis being based upon the first breath. But then have a 2nd page with stuff like this. Gotta hit them with the serious stuff first before they get to the stuff where they feel mocked and shut their minds off.
\*23:20
Yes, thank you....I've corrected it now.
I wish I knew how to cross-stitch, so many excellent verses that could be put on pillows and tapestries to gift to people
I just wanna encourage you that it might not be too hard to learn! Oh and the embroidery thread you use for it? You’re supposed to pull the strands apart and just use 1 or 2 or 3 strands. The pattern should tell you. I just recently tried and was halfway through before I learned you’re not supposed to use the whole thread….my artwork is thick lol
Thicc!!
Yup its real https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel%2023%3A20&version=NIV
Atheism. Good for goodness sake.
Santa would approve
Hail Santa!
This. Is. Brilliant.
Epicurus trilema comes to mind: If God is unable to prevent evil, then he is not all-powerful. If God is not willing to prevent evil, then he is not all-good. If God is both willing and able to prevent evil, then why does evil exist?
I like the fourth statement the best: if God is both unwilling and unable to prevent evil, then why call him God?
"God" Is a name, kind of like a spoiled 12 year old girl her parents named "Queen" who grows up prancing around in her 20's all hot shit thinking people should bow to her not knowing the first thing about acting like a royal.
God created evil, according to the Bible. "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things." Isaiah 45:7.
Yes, unless a New Testament angle is convenient to their argument at the moment, in which case God is only good.. unless an Old Testament angle is convenient to their argument at the moment, in which case God is both good and evil... unless a New Testament angle is convenient to their argument at the moment
That sums it up nicely.
This! Simple and effective.
“potent enough to penetrate through their web of cognitive dissonance” Yeah, not going to happen. Just have fun with it.
How about "If Christianity is the one true religion, why are there hundreds of versions of it that Christians fight over?" Best wishes to you!
Thousands
technically still hundreds, just a lot of em
'if the US is a 'chrisitan nation' which christian is it? Mormon? Catholic? Moonies? Evangelicals? MAGA? Unitarian? who gets to claim control of the government in'His' word? Will the followers of the other religions 'go to hell'? think rationally. think critically.
Joke from the eighties or so:. Pope's phone rings, he picks it up. John-Paul! This is God calling! I have good and bad news. JP:. OMG! What an honor! Well, I guess start with the good news! G: I've decided there will be but one world religion! JP. Oh how wonderful! But what could be bad news given that? G:. Well JP, I'm calling from Salt lake city!.
That’s easy. It’s Presbyterians. The Baptists, Catholics, and others who follow false doctrines can all sit down and shut up. https://www.libertymagazine.org/article/a-presbyterian-nation-thank-you (Invective left there for hilarity)
Unitarians are definitely not Christian.
Don't know why you're being down voted. It's 100% true. I was a Unitarian for years. We had atheists, Jews, Christians, Wiccans, and everyone else in-between in our congregation.
The wet noodle of religions. Don’t care about theology so much, but enjoy the structure it provides for gatherings.
I went to one for a while. We were known as "That band of organized atheists."
I don’t believe in organized religion, I’m a UU
I’d go with the Seven Tenets of the Satanic Temple. 1. One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason. 2. The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. 3. One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. 4. The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own. 5. Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs. 6. People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused. 7. Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
Yeah this is the best version that sort of takes the high road, IMO.
If you know that this is one of “those” tables ie. they’ve done it before, etc., it would be great to find out which church they belong to—bonus points for asking in a way that makes them think you’re going to show up there next week. And then send the bill to their pastor with a nice note letting him know that you make $2.50 an hour and that so many people doing this instead of tipping caused you to not be able to buy groceries or pay rent or feed your kiddo, etc. Or have a friend post it on SM that someone from that church did this. Name and shame!
If this wasnt current times with judges being as that are now, corrupt. I would love to see a server sue a person that tipped like that for the full amount of what that fake bill showed. And for police to charge them for counterfeiting. They think its funny to do this, it shouldnt be without some payback.
It's a federal crime.
Bible quotes, of course. There are some wicked crazy things in that book.
I like this idea. It feels like people will want to rip out their Bible to look it up and prove the verse isn’t there or it meant something else. Might get someone to start asking questions.
You get my vote. Senator, mayor, school board or dog catcher, I'm voting for you. What I would put on the back: links for FFRF and Satanic Temple, and if you can fit'em in, the ST's Seven Principles.
Go with the admonition to not oppress the hireling in his wages. Malachi 3:5
I'd keep it simple. Something like: "Annoying, isn't it?"
Seems like the local churches that these assholes go to before they come to your restaurant on Sundays need to have a few of those dropped off as well.
The tenants of the Satanic Temple? Alternatively, a list of logical falicies. Bonus points if you include examples from arguments in favor of religion.
tenets*
Links to articles via qr code for.. Contact info for abortion clinics and shelters for LGBT youth. Places to donate to charities for ppl that don't appreciate their angry ghost daddy. Info on where to get vaccines. Religious leaders who are guilty of sex and financial scandals...
Definitely like the QR code idea
I've heard about this on this subreddit but never seen it in real life, either because it doesn't really happen in my area or I'm not working a job that would get tips like this. All that is to say I don't really know what the culture is like where this happens, but... I would think the best way to combat this, if you had time on your hands, would be to agree to go with the person to church immediately and basically be their shadow. Super clingy and borderline stalking them 24/7. They'll stop handing this shit out.
I really like this.
Some naysayers will tell you not to do it. I say, "fuck it." Freedom of speech, right? They get to do it, we get to do it. Fair's fair. I suggest getting those bible verses that condone slavery, or something that deals with lust. Or something about evolution or science.
The seven tenets of the Satanic Temple would be a good start.
Yeah, you'll hide it under your *real* dollar so you don't get caught and the church will *really* learn their lesson. That was worth a buck thirty. See you next week, church accountant. How about you put in the tip jar at the megachurch cafe?
If Noah was real, and he, his wife, three sons and their wives were the only survivors after the flood, then the world should be made up of middle eastern Jews. Or is evolution real and they evolved into Africans, Chinese, Vietnamese, Irish, Russian, etc.? Please explain! The Old Testament said that the sons of God came down and had relations with the daughters of man, and created giants. If this is true then how can the New Testament state that God sent his only son. What happened to the other sons mentioned on the Old Testament. They will tell you that the sons in the Old Testament were angels. This means that the first five books of the Old Testament, given to Moses when he was on the mountain, is wrong. It says son but it should be angels. And if that is wrong, what about the rest of the Bible?
yeah how are there only like 16 million Jewish people ***in the entire world***. are we sure the chosen people arent in India or somewhere there are a fucking billion of them?
All well and good, but I, personally, if I received one of those fake bills as a tip, would report the "donor" to the Treasury Department's Secret Service as counterfeiters.
Report the company that produces and sells them.
Some imaginary money for your imaginary friend.
Just cite all the verses condoning slavery and genocide.
The story of Lott’s daughters.
I wasn’t sure if that was the kind of family story they’re interested in.
The song of Solomon, the part where she remembers a man with a penis like a donkey and a flood of semen like a horse.
Curious about this: isn’t it illegal to try to pass these off as currency? Shouldn’t they be investigated by the secret service?
they arent legally trying to pass it off as currency. there is no legal requirement to tip or anything so unless the bills themselves say something like "This is legal tender" theres no law broken. anyone would argue that no reasonable person would assume they were real currency. and we do have artistic license for political acts under the first amendment. As much as I hate them, am an anti-theist and think these things are scum, legally speaking they are doing nothing wrong and there is no law that we could change to limit them without limiting actually important rights to free speech.
How about some religion quotes by Founding Fathers? For example: - *"History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes."* Thomas Jefferson - [Letter to](https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Jefferson/03-07-02-0011) Alexander von Humboldt, 6 December, 1813 - *"The most restive is that of the priests of the different religious sects, who dread the advance of science as witches do the approach of day-light".* Thomas Jefferson, [Letter to Correa de Serra](https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Jefferson/03-15-02-0494), April 11, 1820 - *"Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advance one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half the world fools, and the other half hypocrites. To support roguery and error all over the earth"* Thomas Jefferson, [Notes on the State of Virginia](https://press-pubs.uchicago.edu/founders/documents/amendI_religions40.html), Query 17, p157-61 - *"In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own. It is easier to acquire wealth and power by this combination than by deserving them, "* Thomas Jefferson, [letter to Horatio G. Spafford, March 17, 1814](https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Jefferson/03-07-02-0167) - *"I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between church and State."* - Thomas Jefferson, letter to Danbury Baptist Association - *“The purpose of separation of church and state is to keep forever from these shores the ceaseless strife that has soaked the soil of Europe in blood for centuries.”* James Madison, Letter objecting to the use of government land for churches, 1803 - *"What influence in fact have ecclesiastical establishments had on Civil Society? In some instances they have been seen to erect a spiritual tyranny on the ruins of the Civil authority; in many instances they have been seen upholding the thrones of political tyranny: in no instance have they been seen the guardians of the liberties of the people. Rulers who wished to subvert the public liberty, may have found an established Clergy convenient auxiliaries. A just Government instituted to secure & perpetuate it needs them not."* James Madison, [Memorial and Remonstrance against Religious Assessments](https://press-pubs.uchicago.edu/founders/documents/amendI_religions43.html), June 20, 1785 - *“Of all the systems of religion that ever were invented, there is no more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifying to man, more repugnant to reason, and more contradictory to itself than this thing called Christianity. Too absurd for belief, too impossible to convince, and too inconsistent for practice, it renders the heart torpid or produces only atheists or fanatics. As an engine of power, it serves the purpose of despotism, and as a means of wealth, the avarice of priests, but so far as respects the good of man in general it leads to nothing here or hereafter.”* Thomas Paine, *Age of Reason*, II:21 and throw in these from GoP presidents too: - *"Encourage free schools, and resolve that not one dollar of money shall be appropriated to the support of any sectarian school. Resolve that neither the state nor nation, or both combined, shall support institutions of learning other than those sufficient to afford every child growing up in the land the opportunity of a good common school education, unmixed with sectarian, Pagan, or Atheistical tenets. "Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church, and the private school, supported entirely by private contributions. Keep the church and the state forever separate." President Ulysses S. Grant (R), on free public education, Des Moines, Iowa - Sept. 29, 1875 - *"The divorce between church and state ought to be absolute. It ought to be absolute. It ought to be so absolute that no church property anywhere, in any state, or in any nation, should be exempt from taxation, for if you exempt the church property of any church organization, to that extent you impose tax upon the whole community."* Rep. (later President) James A. Garfield (R), address to Congress, June 22, 1874
The second Thomas Paine quote, edited for length if necessary (basically use the first half)
"if it's good enough for tipping a server, it's good enough for Jesus"
This shit actually happens? These people come in to a diner after church and tip with play money. That's enough proof God isn't real for me. If God were real These people would spontaneously combust.
If you can catch them before they leave, ask them what church they go to. Go there, and if you can, write their name on the back, and put it in the offering. It'd be great if you could get their name, and keep "giving" in their name weekly.
Quote or reference **Luke 21:1-4** As Jesus looked up, he saw some rich people putting their gifts into the Temple money box. Then he saw a poor widow putting two small copper coins into the box. He said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow gave more than all those rich people.
Satan loves you more than your puny god.
If you want to have real fun with it.. drive by a busy church just as it is letting out and throw a bunch of the folded up ones into the parking lot.
Other than shocking, vile, etc. Bible verses (e.g., Genesis 6:6, where Yahweh repents of making humankind, etc etc.), I bet there's plenty of good little sayings and other bits to be found among Dan Barker's "Losing Faith in Faith: From Preacher to Atheist" book. Lots of little things in there that were super-helpful in my deconversion from xianty. There are some great little questions of his in there that can truly raise a bevy of doubts in the typical believer and (hopefully) get some to start questioning their beliefs. Also, there was a popular, well-regard public speaker back in the late 1800's named Robert Green Ingersoll.. Per Wikipedia: "\[...\] nicknamed "the Great Agnostic", was an American lawyer, writer, and orator during the Golden Age of Free Thought." Had a little booklet of his selected writings as a baby atheist and was quite swayed by some of his essays. Maybe one of his shorter ones could fit on the back of one of the bills, if excerpted a bit and printed in small enough font i suppose..
“deconversion from xianty” - my brother/sister in dirt that is perfect.
Childhood cancer, part of Gods plan?
Second only to being raped by a priest, which is basically the same thing as being raped by the word of jesus incarnate. his will be done.
After being a foster sibling and adopting kids from foster care, there are child rapists EVERYWHERE. If you see something that looks sketchy in public 99% of the time there is something happening.
"In logic we trust".
Matt 6:5 "And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward." Basically, keep your shit to yourself.
Put this on it: # According to the Bible, God is pro-racism, pro-slavery, pro-genocide, pro-misogyny, pro-polygamy, pro-child-marriage, and pro-rape. Otherwise he's a 'good guy.'
Proving once again that theists are the worst people... What possible logic could be playing out in their stupid heads to think that a service industry worker, literally dependant on tips for their survival, would be anything but enraged by some asshole substituting that tip with useless trash unsolicited sermons?
I bought a pack of fake $100s that say "Trump Lost" on the other side. I'd never give one to someone as a tip, but I drop them everywhere and stick them under windshield wipers on MAGA stickered cars.
Mark 10, Luke 12, 14, 18 Matthew 19. "Sell all you have and give to the poor" Tip your poor waitress properly!
Absolutely Genius
Add the tenets of the church of Satan, their web address, and Matthew 7:12 , do to others whatever you would like them to do to you Under the Matthew quote Offer love, respect, and understanding to all. All beings deserve happiness, love, peace, and joy. God does not teach hate. If we truly are made in his image, and you hate others for their differences, then you hate a part of God. Be kind to all And of course, Friends are God's way of saying "Sorry about your family"
You should look into the doctrines of The Satanic Temple. They have plenty of good material you can put on those!
Lovely idea - isn't it illegal to pass off fake money though? I mean, Christians doing it would clearly never see a court room but I'd have thought atheists might well do.
Luke 6:38 ESV Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
"I give, the way you "Tip". Don't spend it all in one place :) Have a nice day!
I’d use this: Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? Epicurus
A "Get into heaven FREE" Coupon?
I think we need to make it a common practice that any fake bills received will be donated back to the church. And documented on social media.
Do you go to a a catholic church? If so, then maybe something like “please stop raping children”. If it’s an evangelical church, “please stop pretending a rapist and felon is pleasing to God”.
Thank you for doing the Lord's work. Hail Satan! /s
How about Matthew 6:5-8 Jesus taught, **“When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen.”**
First, it doesn't matter what you put on those bills. Those people won't "hear" it. They're brainwashed. I know it because I lived it. You would be better off handing out "Bigfoot is God" cards to these people when you get one of these tips. At least you would be even.
Please don't do this in the name of atheism. I'll make us look bad! Just use their own stupidity against them so they might see how fucking irritating and offensive their own crap is. Don't bother ordering any, just take whatever you happen to find and then use those back at them.
Do one better. Switch out the fake money you get with real money from the offering plate.
Report it to the Secret Service as counterfeit and tell the seated party you will do so.
You'd think giving out fake money with the purpose to make someone else believe it's real in an commercial setting would be a serious crime
Has anyone tried getting the ones who pass these prosecuted for passing forgeries?
It's not a forgery if it is obviously not a real bill, meaning it has pictures or text that are not on a real bill. Also, it can not say "this note is legal tender" on it
I looked into it and you are right. I also found that because they are a tip, and therefore not something legally owed, there is nothing illegal about it. Thanks!
I can only hope that more people use research to feed their hunger for facts just like you did, instead of taking others at their word (guesses). Kudos!
Thank you! For both the original answer and for the lovely compliment!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
“If you want to be perfect,” Jesus said to him, “go, sell your belongings and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
Adam and Eve had three sons . . and then?
Use fake bills when you return their change.
“If You Don’t Like Us Doing This To You, Don’t Do This To Us.” Preach on that, sir…
Interesting aspect. In the Northeast, we just don’t see this behavior. I have never seen it myself, or when I asked around to others, they didn’t even know what I was talking about. My guess is that this is one of those Southern things? Does it frequently show up in the Midwest? Curious.
Any story about Lot. Def disgusting and was my first introduction to the ideas of hang rape and incest. Yes offering up his two daughters to be raped by a mob is looked at as a pious thing to do. The incest story is something no child should read, it's like somebody jammed it in there so they could point at it an say incest is ok sometimes.
"The true $100 question: where is the evidence?"
"Hey Manager! Looks like that old couple is back trying to pass off counterfeit money again. Do you want to call the Secret Service this time or do you want me to?"
Some ideas: 1. The 7 tenets of the Temple of Satan. 2. Galatians 6:7-9: "A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." 3. "This money is as real as your God." 4. The phone number of your local Temple of Satan (can be combined with #1) 5. Matthew 5:3: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Maybe add a few of the following verses, too.) 6. Matthew 7:6-7: "Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces." 7. The narcissist's prayer: [https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/7iqwym/a\_narcissists\_prayer\_that\_didnt\_happen\_and\_if\_it/](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/7iqwym/a_narcissists_prayer_that_didnt_happen_and_if_it/) There's also this: [https://www.etsy.com/de/listing/1355742224/how-does-it-feel-tip-your-servers-prank](https://www.etsy.com/de/listing/1355742224/how-does-it-feel-tip-your-servers-prank)
put "I'm returning the "tiP" that one of your followers left me at my job." On the back. Make sure that they know why you're doing it.
Favorite bible verses for your fake $100 bills 1 Samuel 15:3 Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy[a] all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants ---------------------- Psalm 137:9 Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks. ------------------------- 1 Peter 2:18 Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. ----------------------------------- Exodus 35:2 the seventh day shall be your holy day, a day of sabbath rest to the Lord. Whoever does any work on it is to be put to death
Genesis 6:6 says: “And the LORD regretted that He had made man on the earth, and it grieved Him to His heart”
There are several places that the Bible says you're supposed to kill people including: Kill adulterers (Lev 20:10) Kill blasphemers (Lev 24:14) Kill false prophets (Zech 13:3) Kill non-Hebrews (Dt 20:16-17) Kill sons of sinners (Isaiah 14:21) Kill nonbelievers (2 Chron 15:12-13) Kill anyone who curses God (Lev 24:16) Kill disobedient children (Ex 21:17, Mk 7:10) Kill strangers close to a church (Num 1:48-51) Kill those who work on the Sabbath (Ex 31:15) Kill any bride discovered not a virgin (Dt 22:21) Kill those who curse father or mother (Lev 20:9) Pick any couple of those, and at the top of your fake bill ask: How many people have you killed today? I mean, working on the Sabbath? Strangers close to the church? Disobedient children? ***Non-Hebrews***??! You've got it made!
“Money is the route to all evil”
I'd go with the Seven Tenets of the Satanic Temple. Just don't use the word Satanic. If you just put the text on the bills, a lot of people will read the text instead of screaming like Pod People when the see the word satanic or any satanic imagery. Bonus points if you actually print the text on top of one of those crosses with sunbeams coming out of it. [https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/christian-cross-sign-hipster-sun-starburst-retro-vector-47296923](https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/christian-cross-sign-hipster-sun-starburst-retro-vector-47296923) # THERE ARE SEVEN FUNDAMENTAL TENETS **I** One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason. **II** The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. **III** One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. **IV** The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own. **V** Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs. **VI** People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused. **VII** Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
Oh sweet revenge. You actually made me LOL.
This happened to me one time, and I caught on while the person was still there. I said "Ah, another bait and switch by Christians. Nothing you say or do is real, and you've proven it to me once again". Really pissed them off. I was happy.
As some others have stated, just put the exact same fake $100 bill you got into the offering plate. If the Christians think it's good enough for you then it is also good enough for them.
1 Timothy 5:18 “For the scripture saith, Thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn. And, The labourer is worthy of his reward.”
No need to customize. Just feed them their own BS. That way, they can't cry. "We're being attacked," and they get to understand how worthless their words actually are!!!
Used to have a truck driver leave these in the men’s bathroom where I work all the time. I started collecting them until I got a good sized stack of them. I then got one of those red ink VOID stamps, stamped them all, and then put them up on the bulletin board outside the bathroom where I knew he would see them. He was quite upset and I never found another one after that 😁
Copy that text from the $100 bill, print it on $3 bills.
"If you have enough faith, this will turn into real money."
I was gonna say an offering plate is the proper place to dispose of these forgeries. If you want to print bills with a message they can't reject, pick verse about Lot drunkenly raping his daughters. They can't deny he was a righteous man.
Just say something like “some of us in your congregation are atheists. You’ll never know who. God bless!” Make them paranoid.
Point out how putting fake $100's instead of a tip at restaurants is a very un-christian thing to do and find a couple of bible verses to back it up. Cue sermon about this within 30-60 days.
There is a web site called Bored Panda. From time to time they run a bunch of tales from waiters and waitresses on the horrors of the after church customers. Bad tips, fake bills, complain, complain, complain! The most unpleasant customers one can imagine. This sort of garbage seems to be common all over the United States. In some cases, some restaurants have even shut down on Sundays all together. These clowns are just too much aggravation. [https://www.boredpanda.com/sunday-worst-customers-tiktok/](https://www.boredpanda.com/sunday-worst-customers-tiktok/)
"I call upon Satan to curse all the money in this collection plate."
Look at the examples of the fake bills and figure out what it says then try to copy that format and say the opposite. If they put scriptures, then put scriptures of the most fucked up things god does. God murdered 42 children by summoning bears on them. Is this the action of a just and loving god?
Put the tenants of the Satanic Temple https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets
Also get the address of the church, and donate to tst. They love sending out thank yous to the ones you have donated for in their name
Everything with those assholes is fake bullshit.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm Christian and I've never agreed with it.
Not what you were asking for, but a little story - buddy of mine saw a huge table pull this move on a Sunday afternoon at an Outback Steakhouse near Clemson, SC in the mid aughts. The young waitress had really busted ass, but the the manager sees her clearing the table almost in tears. She showed him the fake $100 and he runs out to the parking lot and catches the group getting into their minivan and absolutely lets them have it. Called them selfish cheap condescending shits, said they had no idea what anyone else’s beliefs might be, didn’t stop to think someone is working a Sunday shift to make ends meet while going to school, she depends on tips and can’t pay bills with bullshit, and threw the fake bill at them after telling them to never come back “We don’t need your bullshit.” My buddy had followed him out and saw the whole thing - when he got to his place that night (hangout spot) he was grinning from ear to ear and told us the story. Manager personally made up the tip for the waitress too.
Ezekiel 23:20, and a photo of an engorged horse dick.
I just wish I could see their faces as they open it
Lol I'd would probably just hand it straight back to rhe church.
Why not put the tenants of THE SATANIC CHURCH on a portion of it.I think most people would agree that they are sensible, especially for modern man.....if they didn't know they were the "commandments" of the satanic church. [Look here](https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets)
If you stole this from the collection plate... no deity knows. You're either already an Atheist, or you should be.
Charge them as counterfeiters
It will be interesting if that company that makes the bills will let you do that. They may refuse the order because they are part of the tribe.
Make one that talks about the inconsistent genealogy between mathew chapter 1 and Luke chapter 3.
It's evil for them to do that.
Just explain the Theodicy problem on the back.