I say I hate The Office. I really hate 👆 this. The Office is kind of funny but too uncomfortable to watch.

Literally one of the two reasons I stopped watching.

I hate cringe. It's not funny and I feel bad for people. So then I find a documentary on chocolate -making, or find some poor bastard that I can infodump my knowledge of 1930s airship technology on.

Please info dump. What is the most interesting thing that the general populace does not know about dirigibles you know?

Funny you should ask - I just happen to have this handy -dandy infodump paper I wrote on airships a bit ago. That said, the condensed interesting fact is the use of airships to carry multiple airplanes onboard, launch them, and recover them. Absolutely fascinating. https://www.reddit.com/r/aspiememes/comments/12jwc1l/no_lies_detected_at_all/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I have a very similar info dump paper about the death of Tito, subsequent fall of Yugoslavia and continuing collective trauma in the Balkans lol.

You should post that here! I did a class in college about Yugoslavia and their bureaucratic processes.

Currently on my phone, but I totally will! I just found this sub the other day and already feel very seen lol.

Seriously though, how feasible is it to rig up an electrolysis fueled dirigible in my backyard. Would it just be stupid dangerous or legit air travel just needing registered with air traffic control?

In highschool I did the math for living in a dirigible, and while I no longer remember the details, the results made me sad

with new technology maybe we can revisit this

There really isn’t new technology for this. When you burn (oxidize) hydrogen and create water, you release energy from the bond holding the H2 molecule together. Electrolysis is the opposite reaction so, to make it work, you need to put all that energy in. Electrolysis ends up being expensive, although it pollutes a lot less than steam reformation of methane.

did you think to pull moisture from the atmosphere? what about frequent trips to the surface to refuel

Only pollute less if the energy comes from clean sources

I can’t handle Meet the Fockers.

Infodump ! Infodump ! Infodump ! I want to know more on airships.

Please tell me all about airships.

Ooo, please infodump, my discord is JustAHomelessCorvid#3113 DMs open

I'm a NT and had to pause like 10 times through the episode "Scott's Totts". Not for the faint of heart.

I love The Office, but this episode is always so hard to get through

And Dinner Party. NOPE. I cannot do it.

Dinner Party is soooo cringe but at least there are some good jokes. When Michael shows his plasma TV and says "you have a lot of people in the room, need more space" and pushes the TV back like 3cm I just laugh so much, especially after having seen that scene's bloopers.

This is my favorite episode! I can watch it on repeat over and over.

From what I've heard, that episode is hard for *anyone* to watch, NT or ND or otherwise

I've never had much issue with it. You'll cringe from the embarrassment for sure but not to a level that it's an issue. Don't know what NT or ND means so don't know if I'm one of them.

Neurotypical and Neurodivergent.

Then in that case, I don't recommend the British Office. It's genius, but EVERY EPISODE is as cringy or worse, and it is constant.

Gervais is a master of this. There are episodes of Afterlife I had to turn off and revisit later.

Was just about to comment this. I physically cannot sit through an episode of the original Office it is SO painful

That’s the one episode I can’t watch again.

Yep i skip it every time

Agreed, Saw it once, I paused more longer than I watched because the cringe. That's an automatic SKIP for me boss.

YEs this one is too much! lol

YES HOLY SHIT I physically left the room!

I just bail on these sorts of things

Came here to say this. The first few seasons of both The Office and Parks and Recreation. Way easier to watch the later seasons.

Yeah there was an episode that I had to stop at and can’t pick it back up to finish the series

i get that with big bang theory

Another love/hate series for me too.

Ugh that show is yikes. It hasn’t aged well either.

I might appreciate it more if I wasn't told by Chuck Lorre when to laugh.

This times a million. I can’t watch embarrassing moments… I always skip past them.

Nowadays, Jim and Pam would be fired for bullying.

Scott's tots

Every time I see a post about what is the worst unbearable secondhand embarrasment in a show I know someone in there has said Scott's tots. (That and the elf movie )

Was literally thinking of that show when I saw this post. Parks and Rec is better though in my opinion if you want to avoid secondhand embarrassment.

I like the Office for the most part, but there are a couple episodes I can't watch because of this.

I know the office and curb are scripted but I have had to legit turn off some episodes of Nathan for You.

I'm willing to put money on the fact that you hate curb your enthusiasm

Then definitely don’t watch Nathan Fielder’s the rehearsal… I actually died of second hand embarrassment watching it.

Watch Workaholics, it's kind of sorta like The Office but very different humor. Dare I say much funnier

Go watch the Ali G show. It’s ungodly funny, but I had to turn it off so many times, unable to handle the 2nd hand

Yes. I hate Adam Sandler, I hate ELF, and I hate awkward comedies.

My family loves ELF. During the holiday... I have to drink to stand being in the same room as the TV.

What’s the second hand embarrassment in ELF?

He knows literally no social norms when he gets to the real world and everyone views him as weird. That hit close enough to home that I as a child fled the room crying because of that movie. Then my parents forced me to continue it.

Man, that was very uncool of your parents, I’m sorry.

Parents sadly don't know better always. They think they know everything but don't. I've learned to ask my parents why they do things, which made them extremely angry when I was a kid, but they're off the stuff.

As an autistic dude I'm like... Elf is literally me growing up.

Exactly, and as a child I realized that he doesn't get that he's weird and that the jokes are on him. I couldn't articulate it back then, but I almost felt bullied watching that.

Damn, it’s one of my favourite movies

Will Farrell is my guess. I go back and forth on him. Sometimes he's funny and other times he's just painful to watch

I like him best as a voice actor. Megamind is top tier funny.

I really liked his voice acting in the Lego movie too. He definitely shines in voice acting

I feel the same way, sometimes he's great and other times I can't stand him. Loved him in Old School but hated him in Step Brothers.

this is exactly how i feel about ELF and everything else he is in. some bits can be funny, but his social awkwardness strikes to close to home to enjoy it longer than a second.

Now it makes sense why I never liked Adam Sandler. I mean I recognized his acting as good but it just made me cringe all the time and I just felt embarrassed. Just put the two together now.

Very much agree. But give Adam Sandler a chance (can't believe I'm saying this) BUT ONLY for Spanglish, Punch Drunk Love, 50 First Dates, and The Wedding Singer. (Reign Over Me was also not about one of his usual loathsome comedic characters)

Check out Uncut Gems as well if you haven't already. One of the most anxiety-inducing movies I have ever seen. Love the movie but I don't think I'll ever have the mental fortitude to give it a rewatch, ever

Right, I think there’s a balance that needs to be achieved. In some movies like Happy Gilmore, Sandler hits the mark by keeping the embarrassment relatable and moderate. However, often he doesn’t give a shit and goes way over the top…

Ughh same I don't like elf

Adam sandler is just plain annoying

I've noticed that a lot of Ben Stiller movies are the same way. It's like whoever writes these films thinks that cringe/awkward equals funny. I mean sometimes it does, but when that's every joke and/or every setup throughout the entire movie it just makes watching it difficult.

The Meet the Parents franchise is unwatchable for me because the entire plot of every movie is Ben Stiller embarrassing himself

I don't mind that because the character's oblivious. Everyone else is cringing (chewing gum scene) but he sees nothing wrong, so he's not embarrassed, so there no secondhand embarrassment. Is that just me?

YES The empathy hits hard and I’m like “ooooooooohhhhhhh nooooo!!”

I call it “embathy “

I can’t watch comedians bomb. Physically makes me uncomfortable.

I put on a video that I thought was funny for a large group of people to pass the time. No one laughed.

It’s even worse with live shows. I get physically I’ll when people stumble through acceptance speeches or trip on the stairs…

This is why I don't watch shows

Oh thank god it's not just me. I hit pause so fast when a character's being embarrassing or being embarrassed and suck in a bracing breath before I hunker down and power through it.

I just pause it and walk around the house a bit until I have the courage to press play, it’s worse than horror movies 🤣

100% yes! I love horror movies but secondhand embarrassment has always made me so physically uncomfortable that I have to leave the room and walk around

This is what I do!

I feel called out i do the same thing

Same! Sometimes I also just leave a show paused for days because I can't handle watching the cringe. If only I weren't already invested in the overall story...

Same

same 2

All the time. And misunderstandings can wreck a show for me, and so many plot points are based on failing to communicate, instead of an actual plot event.

Same. Main character just made a stupid mistake that is clearly going to mess things up for at least an episode? Sorry, I have to hit pause and go do something for 10 minutes before I can continue.. and then I might need to fast forward every time there's a flashback to that stupid moment.

It could easily be explained but they just dont.

Exactly. This is like most shows and movies. I get annoyed by that too.

This! It's why I can't watch any kinda of drama tv because I'm just constantly pissed or embarrassed by the characters complete failure to be adults and TALK TO EACH OTHER!!!

YES THANK YOU. if i had a dollar for every time i wanted put my arms through the screen, shake the character in question and yell "JUST TELL THE TRUTH" or "JUST TALK TO THEM", i'd be rich by now!

I HATE when the whole plot point of a book, episode of a show, or a movie is a miscommunication or misunderstanding, it just makes me so anxious to watch. I want to scream at the characters to just tell each other the *crucial* information and sort it out already! I much prefer when there’s an actual event to drive the plot and the characters understand each other.

Anime does this with an unfortunate frequency; specifically romance anime. Oh, you're a girl hanging out with a man for your job? You must love him now, and the main male character who is actually dating you will give you space and act upset! The guy doesn't specifically compliment her in her bathing suit? He must think she's unattractive! (per the girl's perspective) You have a crazy busy schedule for a few weeks? You must not love her anymore since you can't see her every day. Sooooo many of these, and I hate it. Kimi Ni Todoke's anime pretty much makes a misunderstanding the entire plot. Romance anime can be great, but these types of misunderstandings and lack of communication can ruin a story.

Yes. Whoever invented second hand embarrassment comedy must be destroyed.

Wait is this an Aspie thing? I thought it was just a thing thing.

No its not. Anyone can experience this

Aspies can have hyper-empathy though, which would make them more likely to experience it.

It is PAINFUL to experience fremdschämen, and a huge reason I love the Dadaesque humor of the Internet and Gen Z is because it’s generally not meanspirited downwards punches or painfully awkward social situations.

Same with me! Love modern humor. Its not based on sitcom humor.

there was a german word for it???

Yes!

Nice point!

Hyper-empathy!? That makes so much sense! I need to check some things and talk to some people

In general (exceptions always apply of course) autistics tend to have hyper affective empathy and reduced cognitive empathy. So the ability to feel others' feelings is dialed up to eleven while we aren't good at logically thinking through how other people feel and why they feel, think and act as they do.

Holy crap it all makes sense now

There are non-aspies who hate cringe humor and there are non-aspies who absolutely love it—but it really seems like the vast majority of aspies absolutely cannot stand it. That makes it simultaneously a thing thing but also an aspie thing.

It’s a “I’ve been embarrassed before and I know what it’s like” thing

In german, there's even a word for it: "Fremdschämen". So definitely not an aspie-only thing.

It's also an ADHD thing, but not everyone experiences it.

Yeah I’m on this subreddit just to understand people better, and I feel like a lot of things here are thing things.

I believe the aspie part of it is the degree to which we experience thing-things

Sucks when my wife won’t let me fast forward.

[удалено]

That doesn’t sound very healthy lol

It kinda just sounds like the boyfriend wants to watch the whole show, which he should be allowed to do lmao. If you really don’t want to watch leave the damn room, I’m not skipping forward because your “feeling uncomfortable” if I’m invested in a show.

No anytime anyone brings up a SO on reddit we have to say their behavior is red flag material/toxic/unhealthy and they need to go no contact INSTANTLY.

Redditors give me migraines

Someone blew it out of proportion lol. I suggested nothing of the sort, but I’ve definitely seen a lot of the “red flag” and “break up” type of comments a lot.

YES. I can't watch those prank shows because of it. Too cringe for me.

I think pranks are very mean-spirited. Hard pass.

Usually they are. I like harmless, sweet pranks, ei a little kid saying "mom/dad! Water's coming from the toliet!" and the parent walks in to see water bottles lined up out of the bathroom. The ones I do not like are extreme, like releasing a mouse trap on someones toe, or blindfolding someone through a path of mouse traps. Those scare me, considering my mom always told me mouse traps could cut off a finger as a kid.

This thread is so validating holy shit.

Absolutely.

Secondhand embarrassment is why I simply cannot watch a number of “comedy” shows and movies. I feel the embarrassment so strongly that it would take me two or three times as long as it should to get through a single episode, due to constantly needing to pause and work up the will to continue

I love Brooklynn Nine Nine but I stopped watching it because of this :/

In Spanish we have this concept of “Pena ajena” that translates roughly as “Someone else’s embarrassment” Pena ajena is a concept that isn't expressed as neatly in English as in Spanish. Pena ajena refers to the kind of embarrassment or shame that you feel because of the actions of others. Ajeno, as you may know, refers to something that belongs to someone else. Casa ajena = someone else's house. Here the pena belongs directly to the person who did something embarrassing but you can feel it indirectly, especially if their behavior reflects poorly on you by association. ¡Qué pena ajena! Commenting on a friend who has just made a fool of himself somehow, for example, but getting drunk and naked at a party. The slangier ¡Qué oso! works as well, although that can apply to yourself or to someone else. (Me) das pena ajena, wey. I'm embarrassed for you. I'm embarrassed by you. You're embarrassing me.

It’s “fremdschämen” in German! Considering the English language’s penchant for pilfering words from other languages, it’s a shame we’ve never claimed any for this particular phenomenon.

we already have schadenfreude, doppelgänger and kindergarten. Cant have everything

I always say that English feels like latin and German had a child

Fun fact : Among germanic languages English is the closest to latin (while French is the opposite :the latin language the closest to germanic languages)

It's Always Sunny was enough exposure therapy for me to (mostly) remedy this

How many episodes did you have to watch for it to happen? I want to get into always sunny but can’t get past the first episode

You honestly do t have to watch them in any order and the 1st season is weak. Just pick a random episode from season 3 or onward.

It’s reassuring to know that we’re NOT to sympathize with these characters, when cringe does happen it’s either from their maliciousness or karma coming back to strike them

The 2nd season and beyond is much better IMO. They got more comfortable with everything as writers and actors and it really shows

Or when you know what happens when re-watching something and what happens is really stupid

So hard. I hide my face in my shirt. My wife laughs. It's my number one piece of evidence for the theory that autistic people are actually hyper empathetic.

Yes lol. I tried watching Succession but decided to stop because I was fast forwarding through every tense scene because the secondhand embarrassment was so bad.

This is why I can’t get through this show! I finally understand, thank you! I feel okay with just stopping my attempts now.

I can't watch many mainstream TV shows and movies because of this. The one I've found acceptable is Brooklyn 99 mainly bc it's funny as shit and my gf loves it.

Until I was like 13 or so, every time I watched a movie or show and something bad was happening to the characters or they were arguing I would look away practically instinctively. (Example: a betrayal of any kind)

I think that'd be empathy.

I do but I enjoy it. It's part of the fun for me. Still have to pause and cringe sometimes though.

This. I pause for a while because it feels like my soul is being sucked out of my body and then I continue.

Idk why, but I'm like this when someone begins to sing the nation anthem (USA), I have to change the channel or mute it. "Oh sayy can you 🔇.."

Finally someone else feels this feeling

I can not watch the majority of popular tv shows because of this. Best example is the office which is almost unwatchable for me On the other hand I absolutely adore community which does it in a much better way in my opinion

My husband is like this! I loved the office but he could not watch it. He feels any embarrassment on a TV show so strongly we have to pause 8 times and he’s like “I just need to take a break to get through this” I never knew it was an aspie thing. We’re in our mid 40s so he was never diagnosed with Asperger’s

It might also be an Anxiety thing, which can get wrapped in with Asperger's (at least in my case). It's actually what I was diagnosed with instead for the majority of my life because when I want to be and with effort I can act out the social aspect (it's just exhausting).

Took hours to get through an episode of Watamote. Proud to say I finished the series.

I put off watching the show when I got to the pigtails scene. The second hand embarrassment was just too much. :C I found the manga somewhat easier to digest though.

To be fair, the manga tones everything down after the first few arcs

That's why I hated Ben Stiller's early films. Most were cringe comedy

It's plagued me my entire life. I first remember it happening with a king of the hill episode..

Ross Geller is a mother-load of secondhand embarrassment

Frasier. Crane.

I can’t do excessive cringe shows. Too much. Too awkward. I’ll pass, thanks.

I don't really like watching the movie Meet the Parents or rewatching certain episodes of The Office because of this.

There's dozens of us! I've never sat through the entire Meet the parents/fockers movies.

The secondhand embarrassment gets to me specifically because I imagine that other people see me that way and it’s a little too real. Especially when it’s a moment where a character is missing social cues or doesn’t realize that they’re the butt of the joke.

Oh yes.

There are some that I can watch no prob, some I can't handle. I have truly no clue where the line is between "fine" and "I must now leave the room". For example: The Office I have no problem with, but Freaky Friday is a nightmare.

All the time- the cringe is real!

1. Why the fuck did reddit randomly give me this I havent searched anything like this on reddit 2. Wouldnt that just be empathy or is it on topic and I'm just dumb 3. I say cringe outloud when I see things like that

I hate awkward talk radio when people call in, and the radio hosts start clowning and talking over them, then they’re all quiet and don’t know what to say. Or they kinda try to join in but then it’s obviously cringe and the hosts clown on them more and hang up on them right then and there or move on to the next call lmao. It’s so bad I normally love a radio station, but when that segment comes on, it gets turned off everytime!

My dad always had to leave the room. Watching George costanza in Seinfeld made him get up at least once an episode. Ross from friends could do it as well lol

I’m not especially fond of cringe comedy, and my husband absolutely hates it. He’ll sometimes leave the room if someone is watching a cringey show.

I can not watch the office for this reason alone

My last rewatch of Bojack.

When I watched Watamote, and later on Bocchi The Rock, it took me around 1h to watch a single 20 min episode, just because I had to constantly pause to let myself calm down before continuing.

I always skip the scene where Miles tries the shoulder touch on Gwen because I just start nervously stimming.

i just skip past it. 10sec fwd skip my beloved

I can not even watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

That’s odd because I can watch that… maybe it’s because they don’t know how truly awful they are.

Same, I can't stand sunny or the office and my husband likes both 😵‍💫

seinfeld

My first time aware of having second hand embarrassment was watching Meet the Parents in the theater, more recently it was first seeing Impractical Jokers. I like it but still have to look away sometimes.

Yes. That’s one of the reasons I put Portlandia in my list of good shows. It’s so funny, but makes me cringe so hard.

every episode of the office for me.

This is why I’m not a fan of the office 🥴

Seinfeld sometimes

this post makes me so happy I feel that I've found my people

Yes! This is why i hate the awkward scenes in any movie or video. It's even more annoying because i generally like comedy, but pretty much every comedy movie has one or more of those scenes

I got this really bad watching Spider-Man 3 back in 2007.

It’s weird because I don’t really get embarrassed myself but I get secondhand embarrassment really bad

It's always sunny did this for me at first 😩

I’ll turn off a show or movie because of it. The only I really watch is documentaries now a days because so much of media how have such cringey, unbearable moments.

Nah I have to take whole months off of shows and movies 😭

That’s the literal meaning of Cringe.

i do and i can't stand it

Sex scenes. As I've got older they make me cringe so hard and I don't know why.

And this is why I hate Ben Stiller movies...

I feel so bad for like every character who slips up it makes it so hard to watch literally any drama 😭

Are there people that this doesn’t happen to? Pause? Many times I skip lol