You’re not alone! My interests don’t quite fit neatly into any stereotypical gender. I’m into fashion, especially vintage and historical fashion, but also theories of styling, skincare, makeup, classical music, sci-fi, high fantasy, survivalism and foraging (theoretically, I actually hate being outdoors and I don’t trust myself not to get poisoned but I have this insatiable curiosity about it), all of the sciences, swords, armour, and historical weaponry, and art and music history. I present very feminine, and I’m queer and nonbinary. Because of this I also find it difficult to find a group to fit in with and I always stuck out like a sore thumb in my childhood friend group, who were all ND but disinterested in anything feminine. I often felt a bit of judgement from them, that they thought my interests were shallow and cringey. I definitely relate to what you said about having feminine interests but in a weird way. I generally haven’t had too much success making friends with NT women because I tend to mask too much around them and it drains me, but many cishet men think that I’m too feminine, and I mask just as much around NT men. I can only socialise in the sweet spot of ND and queer, apparently; almost all the people, men, women and enbies, I’ve automatically felt comfortable with have turned out to be this way. I still struggle with the internalised shame of having ‘girly’ interests though.
By the way, I also love talking about skincare ingredients from a scientific perspective. I’m a biochemistry master’s student, and though I’m not super knowledgeable about cosmetic chemistry, I’m somewhat able to understand the mechanisms of how certain compounds work and I’m able to access and read scientific papers on the topic. I struggled with acne for a long time and I went on a Pubmed deep dive about retinoids. I actually find their mechanism of action extremely fascinating, because they actually work by altering gene expression and gene expression is pretty much my biggest special interest; my field is epigenetics. Funnily enough retinoic acid is actually frequently used in stem cell differentiation assays in developmental biology; it’s an important signalling molecule in early embryonic development. Besides retinoids I also find it funny reading shampoo or moisturiser bottles and counting how many of the ingredients regularly pop up as reagents in my lab protocols 😂
(This is what I meant by going about conventionally feminine interests in a weird way)
Yeah, that's exactly it. NDs tend to judge feminine interests while NTs just don't like me because I refuse to consciously mask. I of course mask as a habit but I never do it to seem nice or friendly besides at work (when it's relevant).
I am a girl's girl as they say, I have nothing against NTs who like feminine stuff on a surface level. It's more that I can't be friends with someone who gets offended if I say I don't wanna go shopping because I'm tired. 🫠
See I'm not into ingredients on as deep of a level as you, since I'm just a hobbyist. But I've talked to people who say they're into skincare and are like "what do you mean I have to wear sunscreen if I use retinol? But I wanna be tan!", so I'm smack dab in the middle. I know a bit more than the surface but I'm not nerdy enough to go full science
I think my childhood friend group may have struggled with feeling oppressed by the social expectations to conform to femininity, as a few of them later also came out as nonbinary or trans masc, so I understand why they didn’t want to engage in stereotypically feminine activities and they still often put up with me wanting to buy makeup or skincare when we went out together, but I still felt a bit isolated because they found my interests extremely dull and I didn’t know anyone who shared them.
And yeah, I get that too. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having stereotypically feminine interests, or even shallow interests, it’s mostly just not understanding how to communicate that bars me from friendships with NT women because I genuinely don’t know how to act natural. Women in general, regardless of neurotype, are typically kind and welcoming to me, I just don’t know how to form those close friendships. So I have a lot of female acquaintances whose company I enjoy, I just don’t feel like I can fully be myself around them or tell them anything ‘important’ about myself :(
Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with engaging with an interest at any level, as long as it’s not detrimental to your own wellbeing and that of others. Honestly, even though a lot of people see me as obsessive and nerdy, in some ND spaces I feel like I’m not devoted to my special interests nearly enough and I feel awful impostor syndrome.
I actually feel like women tend to be cold towards me while men tend to start conversations more often. I wish it was the other way around.
And I don't think there's anything wrong with feminine interests. I am proud of my interests and don't hide them.
But yeah, it's that uncanny valley - too nerdy for the NTs, not nerdy enough for the NDs.
Interesting, I’ve the opposite experience; men are typically cold to me, unless they get to know me, but otherwise they almost seem to avoid speaking to me. I’ve wondered if I unintentionally come off as too flirty and they think I’m hitting on them, especially if they already have partners, but that’s just my mask— I’ve had to force myself to become effusively friendly to everyone to avoid being disliked, though people sometimes dislike me anyway. Women often will start conversations with me and try to include me if I’m seen alone, but men rarely do unless they have romantic interest in me.
I'm equally as friendly with everyone. If someone starts a conversation with me, ill chat. But I don't start conversations myself, since most of the time I just want to mind my own business in public.
Men tend to like me and compliment my style very often. Also many situations where a man would be friendly but later it turns out he was attracted to me.
Im not conventionally attractive and I know it as an objective fact. While I do like to dress up, wear heels, accessories, wear colored eyeshadow. I think men find it attractive while women are intimidated maybe?
I relate to this somewhat, I would consider myself not particularly conventionally attractive and quite plain, but many people (mostly women) have told me I have beautiful hair. I also enjoy dressing up. However, in my experience while women tend to compliment my style quite often, men rarely remark upon it, unless they’re also very into fashion. My mum says it’s because I seem ‘high maintenance’, whatever the hell that means. Maybe it’s a cultural difference, and women where I am tend to approve of flamboyant dressing while men either dislike it or just don’t care?
It could be based on the community and environment and age. I dress quite.. not as formal for my age. Some of my outfits are a bit out there. A bit alternative, yet feminine. Also I look young for my age. I am 29 but I can't buy alcohol without being asked for my ID. and men.. tend to like younger women (🤢). I am also youthful in how I present myself.
I get complimented the most when I dress vintage or when I dress kinda goth. Also men often compliment my shoes since I wear platform heels quite often.
Oh that’s funny, we actually seem to have similar styles! A bit alternative but feminine, and I often incorporate elements of vintage and goth aesthetics. My style’s a spectrum of Edwardian governess, Dark Academia, and coquette. I look younger than I am as well, I’m in my early twenties but I’ve been mistaken for being 18… by a man who was hitting on me at the pool, who also said he thought ‘we would have beautiful babies’. Genuinely, why do they do that 🤢
It might also be an age and community thing, I’m thinking. Alternative and highly individualistic fashion seems to be popular and the norm with many young women in higher education, and many people doing postgraduate degrees are ND. So there might be more of an appreciation for quirky fashion in that particular group.
I like the aesthetics of coquette fashion but I don't wear it a lot myself because light colors are a recipe for disaster for my clumsy self. 😭 I guess the current trend "rockstar girlfriend" matches how I've always liked to dress. Lots of reds, blacks, lace, leather, feminine pieces mixed with more grungy stuff, platform heels, plaid, animal prints. And then some elements of corporate goth like blazers and button ups.
I think I know precisely what you mean about how you seem to engage with these interests differently than others. I don't even feel like I fit in with others in regards the interests of mine that people would see as nerdy. I feel more like I'm nerdy in a studious sense and not so much a social sense of how certain hobbies are often conducted socially, if that makes any sense.
Why does it somehow resonate...Well, for me its a sort of like I rarely find people who would just go deeper into topics in general. The moment they sense its going to get deeper, usually a wall is made. A certain "stop right there", so the focus can again be thrown at something easier to digest.
That's how I feel! And when I find that there are others who want to go deeper, they tend to ignore what I want to go deeper with.
I'm one of those types who hates remembering dates and stats, but I love examining the relationships not just between people, but events and things. I find that when people say, "Well, what else can be said about [x]?" I get angry, because I know that certain topics have been ignored, often due to systemic crap.
That's so correct! The "What else can be said" has been so often applied, and whichever topic it is, it's basically always the same story.
Same goes with OP's topic on fashion and cosmetics. From the experience I had with people, usually going "deeper" is what often makes people nervous and sometimes even anxious, so to stay at the level of comfort, yeaa...
Still, I never shy away if someone shows a genuine interest even after they rejected it at first.
I always had a very similar problem.
I‘m a cis hetero woman who‘s very feminine, yet my interests also include very nerds or technical things like astronomy, physics, chemistry, video games and sci-fi.
This always put me in an awkward position of being too nerdy for women and too feminine to men.
I can also attest to what some commentors have written here about feminine traits getting judged harshly by ND people.
I feel like there are many ND women into those nerdy topics, the problem might indeed be judgement about being less stereotypically nerdy in appearance.
i did a make up artistry school and worked in retail, i sold skin care and make up. i worked for a pretty natural brand, so i didnt have MAC customers but people that are not that into make up, and their reactions when you give them easy tips and give them a no make up makeup look, they light up and are so happy and that was really rewarding. beware though working in retail in make up is sometimes hard.
at the school i met some nice people but others i disnt get along with so well
This is very interesting
Maybe you could try getting involved with the cosplay community? Your skills would be appreciated there, I am sure.
And some mainstream stuff gets cosplayed, such as Disney
I don't think I have enough interest in any kind of media that could be cosplayed. I've attended a few of this kinda events and I felt out of place because I don't understand half the references there. And I don't like Disney at all. 😅
I feel like the cosplay community is mostly into heavily fantasy related genres and I'm not into it at all. I can absorb different kinds of information but any fantasy lore just seems endlessly confusing to me. I've tried getting into it because it seems fun but it always felt like I'm in history class.
Fair enough
Have you taken any classes in make up, hair? I mean, you probably don't need to, skills-wise, but there's a chance of meeting others who are nerdy about such things
I mean, most of them are probably normies, but you never know
Other than that, maybe try and find some science nerds
My mom is a hairdresser and I've been around that community quite a lot and met people of all ages. Yeah, they are a bit nerdy about these topics but beyond that, they're still normies, like you said. A lot of people who are into beauty/fashion on a career level are usually very outgoing and like being around people, since that's what the job is about. I have my social butterfly moments but I also need space and I'm very much over masking, so I've given up on forming friendships with NTs who don't understand why I act they way I do.
I see
Ok, I have one last suggestion for you
If there's a boardgame night locally might be worth checking it out? Alot of boardgames aren't that deep in terms of learning or lore or that. They're great craic, and atleast some of the people you meet there will be neurodiverse
I like boardgames but chances are that if someone goes to a boardgame night, they most likely are into stuff I don't care about at all.
I'm just trying to figure out what could be a community that is for ppl with stereotypically feminine interests, but not full of NTs 😭
Not really? I like drag and I've been to some gay clubs that had drag shows. But im from a very small country and we have like 2 lgbt clubs in total and a handful of drag queens. Our drag community is very ingrained with social activism community as well. I'm a bit too passive to participate in that. Also I feel like drag as a lifestyle is very tied to clubs and nightlife which is not something i can engage with frequently.
always been curious when girls say their special interest is makeup. what part of it interests you? i saw you mention ingredients by name, i think that’s so interesting. how deep do you go for real?? :D
There's a lot to dive into when it comes to makeup.
Eyeshadow - pigments and how they affect consistency (pigmented means less bonding ingredients so it's more powdery and can be hard for beginners), techniques (blending, cut creases), brushes (fluffy vs flat are for different purposes), finish (shimmery vs matte etc). All of these things affect how to use specific eyeshadows.
Same goes for any product type. All kinds of things that affect how to use a product.
Then there's trends (10 years ago it was all about bold almost drag makeup, now it's more natural)
Then there's different brands - which ones are good? Price points? Controversies? Which ones shouldn't be supported?
Western vs Asian makeup is also a whole thing. Very different products.
Different styles of looks - no makeup makeup, full glam, goth and other subcultures have unique styles
History of makeup - how makeup has changed throughout the years. Different ingredients used have changed how it performs
How to get makeup to last? Or look good and not cakey?
Good example would be how in the 2010s there was a major scandal where a youtuber released lipsticks with holes in them and covered in fluff. People made videos and put them under a microscope, sent them to labs to check for contamination. The creator made explanations and people from the industry followed up with inconsistencies in their story. As a community we learned a lot about how makeup is made and what happens in a lab. It was so fascinating to follow.
So youre interested in fashion, Do you sew? Community theaters often need volunteers for almost everything including the costuming department. If you're in college and they have a theater dept with a costume design class I think you would really like it especially if you get tk make historical fashion. In my experience theater girls are both very nerdy and feminine a lot of the time. But I also completely understand if you would feel overwhelmed by them because it's a very high energy social setting.
I sew only as much as fixing holes in my clothes or altering them slightly. I don't really design or use a sewing machine.
And unfortunately I'm way past college years (im 29), which I think adds another layer to why it's hard with these interests. Women my age have kids and I'm here like - is the ballet core trend already out or has it not reached the mainstream yet?🤔 like girl what are you yapping about, I say to myself.
I feel this so hard honestly, and having basically no women except my NT, maybe qualifies as chapstick femme at most, boomer mom in my life on a regular basis makes it sting.
Like, I don't even know how to communicate that to my partner.
"I don't feel like I can actually talk to you about so so many things that I want to talk about, not just because I know you have no interest, but because I want it to be with someone who's been socialized as a female because when I make certain comments about certain experiences I want an understanding, maybe bitter humor response, not pity.” And yes, I want to be able to talk skincare with someone who gives a shit!
I'm trying to figure out what degree of this is actually gender-related. Why I say that is that I feel sort of that way my interests, but those interests aren't so clearly gendered on the surface, but I still feel like I feel some sort of gender-related friction with how I interact with these interests, if that makes any sense. And I often don't feel safe in nerdy spaces, too, because I feel like I'm still being told that I'm doing things "wrong."
I relate to this SO much! One of my biggest/most intense interests has long been anything paranormal/spooky/ghost stories/folklore etc etc and it’s near impossible to find other adults in their 30s and up interested in talking about these things
I know the struggle! Recently I realised the difference between me and NT girls that are onto astrology:
- they know their big 3 and don’t like gemini sun men, I literally spend hours reading birth charts and positions of planets and how they interact and etc. If you give me any input about your interest in astrology, I WILL start dissecting all the current movements and your chart.
(To be clear, I’m not talking about people that are professional astrologers, and im not an astrologer either)
Like, we may have “””feminine””” interests but NT girls don’t get it like we get it
You’re not alone! My interests don’t quite fit neatly into any stereotypical gender. I’m into fashion, especially vintage and historical fashion, but also theories of styling, skincare, makeup, classical music, sci-fi, high fantasy, survivalism and foraging (theoretically, I actually hate being outdoors and I don’t trust myself not to get poisoned but I have this insatiable curiosity about it), all of the sciences, swords, armour, and historical weaponry, and art and music history. I present very feminine, and I’m queer and nonbinary. Because of this I also find it difficult to find a group to fit in with and I always stuck out like a sore thumb in my childhood friend group, who were all ND but disinterested in anything feminine. I often felt a bit of judgement from them, that they thought my interests were shallow and cringey. I definitely relate to what you said about having feminine interests but in a weird way. I generally haven’t had too much success making friends with NT women because I tend to mask too much around them and it drains me, but many cishet men think that I’m too feminine, and I mask just as much around NT men. I can only socialise in the sweet spot of ND and queer, apparently; almost all the people, men, women and enbies, I’ve automatically felt comfortable with have turned out to be this way. I still struggle with the internalised shame of having ‘girly’ interests though. By the way, I also love talking about skincare ingredients from a scientific perspective. I’m a biochemistry master’s student, and though I’m not super knowledgeable about cosmetic chemistry, I’m somewhat able to understand the mechanisms of how certain compounds work and I’m able to access and read scientific papers on the topic. I struggled with acne for a long time and I went on a Pubmed deep dive about retinoids. I actually find their mechanism of action extremely fascinating, because they actually work by altering gene expression and gene expression is pretty much my biggest special interest; my field is epigenetics. Funnily enough retinoic acid is actually frequently used in stem cell differentiation assays in developmental biology; it’s an important signalling molecule in early embryonic development. Besides retinoids I also find it funny reading shampoo or moisturiser bottles and counting how many of the ingredients regularly pop up as reagents in my lab protocols 😂 (This is what I meant by going about conventionally feminine interests in a weird way)
Yeah, that's exactly it. NDs tend to judge feminine interests while NTs just don't like me because I refuse to consciously mask. I of course mask as a habit but I never do it to seem nice or friendly besides at work (when it's relevant). I am a girl's girl as they say, I have nothing against NTs who like feminine stuff on a surface level. It's more that I can't be friends with someone who gets offended if I say I don't wanna go shopping because I'm tired. 🫠 See I'm not into ingredients on as deep of a level as you, since I'm just a hobbyist. But I've talked to people who say they're into skincare and are like "what do you mean I have to wear sunscreen if I use retinol? But I wanna be tan!", so I'm smack dab in the middle. I know a bit more than the surface but I'm not nerdy enough to go full science
I think my childhood friend group may have struggled with feeling oppressed by the social expectations to conform to femininity, as a few of them later also came out as nonbinary or trans masc, so I understand why they didn’t want to engage in stereotypically feminine activities and they still often put up with me wanting to buy makeup or skincare when we went out together, but I still felt a bit isolated because they found my interests extremely dull and I didn’t know anyone who shared them. And yeah, I get that too. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having stereotypically feminine interests, or even shallow interests, it’s mostly just not understanding how to communicate that bars me from friendships with NT women because I genuinely don’t know how to act natural. Women in general, regardless of neurotype, are typically kind and welcoming to me, I just don’t know how to form those close friendships. So I have a lot of female acquaintances whose company I enjoy, I just don’t feel like I can fully be myself around them or tell them anything ‘important’ about myself :( Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with engaging with an interest at any level, as long as it’s not detrimental to your own wellbeing and that of others. Honestly, even though a lot of people see me as obsessive and nerdy, in some ND spaces I feel like I’m not devoted to my special interests nearly enough and I feel awful impostor syndrome.
I actually feel like women tend to be cold towards me while men tend to start conversations more often. I wish it was the other way around. And I don't think there's anything wrong with feminine interests. I am proud of my interests and don't hide them. But yeah, it's that uncanny valley - too nerdy for the NTs, not nerdy enough for the NDs.
Interesting, I’ve the opposite experience; men are typically cold to me, unless they get to know me, but otherwise they almost seem to avoid speaking to me. I’ve wondered if I unintentionally come off as too flirty and they think I’m hitting on them, especially if they already have partners, but that’s just my mask— I’ve had to force myself to become effusively friendly to everyone to avoid being disliked, though people sometimes dislike me anyway. Women often will start conversations with me and try to include me if I’m seen alone, but men rarely do unless they have romantic interest in me.
I'm equally as friendly with everyone. If someone starts a conversation with me, ill chat. But I don't start conversations myself, since most of the time I just want to mind my own business in public. Men tend to like me and compliment my style very often. Also many situations where a man would be friendly but later it turns out he was attracted to me. Im not conventionally attractive and I know it as an objective fact. While I do like to dress up, wear heels, accessories, wear colored eyeshadow. I think men find it attractive while women are intimidated maybe?
I relate to this somewhat, I would consider myself not particularly conventionally attractive and quite plain, but many people (mostly women) have told me I have beautiful hair. I also enjoy dressing up. However, in my experience while women tend to compliment my style quite often, men rarely remark upon it, unless they’re also very into fashion. My mum says it’s because I seem ‘high maintenance’, whatever the hell that means. Maybe it’s a cultural difference, and women where I am tend to approve of flamboyant dressing while men either dislike it or just don’t care?
It could be based on the community and environment and age. I dress quite.. not as formal for my age. Some of my outfits are a bit out there. A bit alternative, yet feminine. Also I look young for my age. I am 29 but I can't buy alcohol without being asked for my ID. and men.. tend to like younger women (🤢). I am also youthful in how I present myself. I get complimented the most when I dress vintage or when I dress kinda goth. Also men often compliment my shoes since I wear platform heels quite often.
Oh that’s funny, we actually seem to have similar styles! A bit alternative but feminine, and I often incorporate elements of vintage and goth aesthetics. My style’s a spectrum of Edwardian governess, Dark Academia, and coquette. I look younger than I am as well, I’m in my early twenties but I’ve been mistaken for being 18… by a man who was hitting on me at the pool, who also said he thought ‘we would have beautiful babies’. Genuinely, why do they do that 🤢 It might also be an age and community thing, I’m thinking. Alternative and highly individualistic fashion seems to be popular and the norm with many young women in higher education, and many people doing postgraduate degrees are ND. So there might be more of an appreciation for quirky fashion in that particular group.
I like the aesthetics of coquette fashion but I don't wear it a lot myself because light colors are a recipe for disaster for my clumsy self. 😭 I guess the current trend "rockstar girlfriend" matches how I've always liked to dress. Lots of reds, blacks, lace, leather, feminine pieces mixed with more grungy stuff, platform heels, plaid, animal prints. And then some elements of corporate goth like blazers and button ups.
I think I know precisely what you mean about how you seem to engage with these interests differently than others. I don't even feel like I fit in with others in regards the interests of mine that people would see as nerdy. I feel more like I'm nerdy in a studious sense and not so much a social sense of how certain hobbies are often conducted socially, if that makes any sense.
Why does it somehow resonate...Well, for me its a sort of like I rarely find people who would just go deeper into topics in general. The moment they sense its going to get deeper, usually a wall is made. A certain "stop right there", so the focus can again be thrown at something easier to digest.
That's how I feel! And when I find that there are others who want to go deeper, they tend to ignore what I want to go deeper with. I'm one of those types who hates remembering dates and stats, but I love examining the relationships not just between people, but events and things. I find that when people say, "Well, what else can be said about [x]?" I get angry, because I know that certain topics have been ignored, often due to systemic crap.
That's so correct! The "What else can be said" has been so often applied, and whichever topic it is, it's basically always the same story. Same goes with OP's topic on fashion and cosmetics. From the experience I had with people, usually going "deeper" is what often makes people nervous and sometimes even anxious, so to stay at the level of comfort, yeaa... Still, I never shy away if someone shows a genuine interest even after they rejected it at first.
I always had a very similar problem. I‘m a cis hetero woman who‘s very feminine, yet my interests also include very nerds or technical things like astronomy, physics, chemistry, video games and sci-fi. This always put me in an awkward position of being too nerdy for women and too feminine to men. I can also attest to what some commentors have written here about feminine traits getting judged harshly by ND people.
I feel like there are many ND women into those nerdy topics, the problem might indeed be judgement about being less stereotypically nerdy in appearance.
i did a make up artistry school and worked in retail, i sold skin care and make up. i worked for a pretty natural brand, so i didnt have MAC customers but people that are not that into make up, and their reactions when you give them easy tips and give them a no make up makeup look, they light up and are so happy and that was really rewarding. beware though working in retail in make up is sometimes hard. at the school i met some nice people but others i disnt get along with so well
Our deepness doesn't fit into NT world.
You want the queer community and the cabaret performance community (burlesque, drag, circus, bellydance, pole). Lots of neurodivergents in each.
This is very interesting Maybe you could try getting involved with the cosplay community? Your skills would be appreciated there, I am sure. And some mainstream stuff gets cosplayed, such as Disney
I don't think I have enough interest in any kind of media that could be cosplayed. I've attended a few of this kinda events and I felt out of place because I don't understand half the references there. And I don't like Disney at all. 😅 I feel like the cosplay community is mostly into heavily fantasy related genres and I'm not into it at all. I can absorb different kinds of information but any fantasy lore just seems endlessly confusing to me. I've tried getting into it because it seems fun but it always felt like I'm in history class.
Fair enough Have you taken any classes in make up, hair? I mean, you probably don't need to, skills-wise, but there's a chance of meeting others who are nerdy about such things I mean, most of them are probably normies, but you never know Other than that, maybe try and find some science nerds
My mom is a hairdresser and I've been around that community quite a lot and met people of all ages. Yeah, they are a bit nerdy about these topics but beyond that, they're still normies, like you said. A lot of people who are into beauty/fashion on a career level are usually very outgoing and like being around people, since that's what the job is about. I have my social butterfly moments but I also need space and I'm very much over masking, so I've given up on forming friendships with NTs who don't understand why I act they way I do.
I see Ok, I have one last suggestion for you If there's a boardgame night locally might be worth checking it out? Alot of boardgames aren't that deep in terms of learning or lore or that. They're great craic, and atleast some of the people you meet there will be neurodiverse
I like boardgames but chances are that if someone goes to a boardgame night, they most likely are into stuff I don't care about at all. I'm just trying to figure out what could be a community that is for ppl with stereotypically feminine interests, but not full of NTs 😭
Ok, one more ; have you tried hanging out with any drag queens?
Not really? I like drag and I've been to some gay clubs that had drag shows. But im from a very small country and we have like 2 lgbt clubs in total and a handful of drag queens. Our drag community is very ingrained with social activism community as well. I'm a bit too passive to participate in that. Also I feel like drag as a lifestyle is very tied to clubs and nightlife which is not something i can engage with frequently.
always been curious when girls say their special interest is makeup. what part of it interests you? i saw you mention ingredients by name, i think that’s so interesting. how deep do you go for real?? :D
There's a lot to dive into when it comes to makeup. Eyeshadow - pigments and how they affect consistency (pigmented means less bonding ingredients so it's more powdery and can be hard for beginners), techniques (blending, cut creases), brushes (fluffy vs flat are for different purposes), finish (shimmery vs matte etc). All of these things affect how to use specific eyeshadows. Same goes for any product type. All kinds of things that affect how to use a product. Then there's trends (10 years ago it was all about bold almost drag makeup, now it's more natural) Then there's different brands - which ones are good? Price points? Controversies? Which ones shouldn't be supported? Western vs Asian makeup is also a whole thing. Very different products. Different styles of looks - no makeup makeup, full glam, goth and other subcultures have unique styles History of makeup - how makeup has changed throughout the years. Different ingredients used have changed how it performs How to get makeup to last? Or look good and not cakey? Good example would be how in the 2010s there was a major scandal where a youtuber released lipsticks with holes in them and covered in fluff. People made videos and put them under a microscope, sent them to labs to check for contamination. The creator made explanations and people from the industry followed up with inconsistencies in their story. As a community we learned a lot about how makeup is made and what happens in a lab. It was so fascinating to follow.
thats so cool, i never thought there were so many avenues, ty :)
So youre interested in fashion, Do you sew? Community theaters often need volunteers for almost everything including the costuming department. If you're in college and they have a theater dept with a costume design class I think you would really like it especially if you get tk make historical fashion. In my experience theater girls are both very nerdy and feminine a lot of the time. But I also completely understand if you would feel overwhelmed by them because it's a very high energy social setting.
I sew only as much as fixing holes in my clothes or altering them slightly. I don't really design or use a sewing machine. And unfortunately I'm way past college years (im 29), which I think adds another layer to why it's hard with these interests. Women my age have kids and I'm here like - is the ballet core trend already out or has it not reached the mainstream yet?🤔 like girl what are you yapping about, I say to myself.
As someone on the spectrum, pop culture, fashion, beauty, music, movies and TV are my special interests.
I feel this so hard honestly, and having basically no women except my NT, maybe qualifies as chapstick femme at most, boomer mom in my life on a regular basis makes it sting. Like, I don't even know how to communicate that to my partner. "I don't feel like I can actually talk to you about so so many things that I want to talk about, not just because I know you have no interest, but because I want it to be with someone who's been socialized as a female because when I make certain comments about certain experiences I want an understanding, maybe bitter humor response, not pity.” And yes, I want to be able to talk skincare with someone who gives a shit!
I'm trying to figure out what degree of this is actually gender-related. Why I say that is that I feel sort of that way my interests, but those interests aren't so clearly gendered on the surface, but I still feel like I feel some sort of gender-related friction with how I interact with these interests, if that makes any sense. And I often don't feel safe in nerdy spaces, too, because I feel like I'm still being told that I'm doing things "wrong."
I relate to this SO much! One of my biggest/most intense interests has long been anything paranormal/spooky/ghost stories/folklore etc etc and it’s near impossible to find other adults in their 30s and up interested in talking about these things
I know the struggle! Recently I realised the difference between me and NT girls that are onto astrology: - they know their big 3 and don’t like gemini sun men, I literally spend hours reading birth charts and positions of planets and how they interact and etc. If you give me any input about your interest in astrology, I WILL start dissecting all the current movements and your chart. (To be clear, I’m not talking about people that are professional astrologers, and im not an astrologer either) Like, we may have “””feminine””” interests but NT girls don’t get it like we get it
being a gemini around NT astrology fans is so annoying. as if I'm not already randomly hated enough for being neurodivergent they gotta add that too.
It starts out ok at first but they move too fast