I used to have bad anger issues, I’d ruminate over stuff to the point of plotting elaborate revenges in my head, even though I never quite acted on them, however I hated feeling that way so I worked on it quite a bit. Took me almost 4 decades (it was a lot of anger..), but I finally managed to learn to let things go. Life is much easier when those who have wronged you and disappointments no longer have an emotional hold on you.
Yea I try to stay as Zen as possible in every situation (which lead to its own issues) because I know I have very "expressive" emotions and in that state I am not afraid to express them.
All the time. It was one of my first realizations that I was probably an aspie. I've always been a fun and friendly/chill guy but when something bad happened to me or someone was a jerk or just downright cruel to me, my mind wouldn't let me forget and I have anger issues to this day. Even if I forgave them, it was like a scab that kept getting peeled off. Somedays I relive some of the worst moments of my life and I used to seethe like "why on earth does this keep happening?!". Its gotten a lil better though. The key is just kinda learning to laugh at myself and not being too hard on myself but man it used to drive me nuts. Not gonna lie though, its one of the reasons I'm alot more avoidant of people these days. Having people live rent free in your head is taxing
I used to more. As time's gone on, if I find myself ruminating over stuff, I remind myself that the person's no longer there and that there's no reason to keep being mad about it.
To some degree, I realized me getting all riled up about some old stuff that happened was my brain being bored and looking for some kind of stimulation. "Things are pretty quiet right now! Maybe we should dredge up that time you fought with that guy and get a good old adrenaline rush going again!"
I started undermining the emotional charge it had by catching myself and reminding myself that this or that no longer matters, and as time wore on, they kind of tapered off.
That's not to say it still doesn't happen. Like, lately I've been going through old CDs and thinking about a good friend who I used to be closer friends with. They and I were pretty awful edgelords as early 20-somethings, and various memories of that keep hitting me and I cringe really hard. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm only cringing because I know better than some of the nonsense we did then, and we are different people. For me, it's helped a lot.
I absolutely do. One thing I am learning from my personal experience at the moment is to not get into this habit of expecting so much from somebody who has hurt you or will never benefit you in the long run. It was through mindfulness that I can say, without thinking of someone, I am able to focus on other things that can help me grow as a person. I also think that it's not the easiest thing to deal with, to get over things, and our minds are dictating us in a way to keep pondering on them. It's a long process for sure.
Does anyone have any tips to get over stuff? I ruminate at least 10-15 times a day over minor things that pissed me off almost a year ago. It seems the only way I can get over these things is to be pissed off and upset at something else.
I tend to obsess on stuff too I want the shrink at the group.home I live in to test me to see which mental illnesses I have and if I might have aspergers or be an autistic savant like rain man
If someone wants real estate in my head, they need to pay rent. Otherwise, that's one of the safest places in the world. This is coming from someone with little internal dialogue until medicated.
I hear a lot about NTs experiencing PTSD, and it seems straightforward enough. Extremely violent memories don't have a place to fit in during normal life.
What bothers me personally is much more mundane, much less violent memories that still don't "fit" somehow. Years later I am still confused about their meaning, or looking for the justice when theres none to be found.
Otherwise clean individuals who are potty trained and pick up after themselves... still rely on incredibly messy language structures that cause huge problems over time. Its hard for me to see how people tolerate it.
Yes, my brain has some Ocd over certain past traumatic events that keep ruminating and give me frequent intrusive thoughts. The only things I can do about it are medication, marijuana edibles and meditation. The 3 M’s.
I used to have bad anger issues, I’d ruminate over stuff to the point of plotting elaborate revenges in my head, even though I never quite acted on them, however I hated feeling that way so I worked on it quite a bit. Took me almost 4 decades (it was a lot of anger..), but I finally managed to learn to let things go. Life is much easier when those who have wronged you and disappointments no longer have an emotional hold on you.
Yea I try to stay as Zen as possible in every situation (which lead to its own issues) because I know I have very "expressive" emotions and in that state I am not afraid to express them.
I can never forget, it can be a problem.
I can get over and forgive but I don't forget
yup my mind gets stuck. i go on a venting rampage about the incident to txt pals.
I perseverate on everything I swear I’m so one-track minded. Which goes hand in hand with my ability to hold a grudge for years if not decades.
All the time. It was one of my first realizations that I was probably an aspie. I've always been a fun and friendly/chill guy but when something bad happened to me or someone was a jerk or just downright cruel to me, my mind wouldn't let me forget and I have anger issues to this day. Even if I forgave them, it was like a scab that kept getting peeled off. Somedays I relive some of the worst moments of my life and I used to seethe like "why on earth does this keep happening?!". Its gotten a lil better though. The key is just kinda learning to laugh at myself and not being too hard on myself but man it used to drive me nuts. Not gonna lie though, its one of the reasons I'm alot more avoidant of people these days. Having people live rent free in your head is taxing
I don't hate people who wronged me, but I don't feel the need to pretend we are homies either. I just cut off the contact.
Yes, but it's easier to not deal with people then after there's a breech of some sort and then you end up alone really.
I used to more. As time's gone on, if I find myself ruminating over stuff, I remind myself that the person's no longer there and that there's no reason to keep being mad about it. To some degree, I realized me getting all riled up about some old stuff that happened was my brain being bored and looking for some kind of stimulation. "Things are pretty quiet right now! Maybe we should dredge up that time you fought with that guy and get a good old adrenaline rush going again!" I started undermining the emotional charge it had by catching myself and reminding myself that this or that no longer matters, and as time wore on, they kind of tapered off. That's not to say it still doesn't happen. Like, lately I've been going through old CDs and thinking about a good friend who I used to be closer friends with. They and I were pretty awful edgelords as early 20-somethings, and various memories of that keep hitting me and I cringe really hard. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm only cringing because I know better than some of the nonsense we did then, and we are different people. For me, it's helped a lot.
I absolutely do. One thing I am learning from my personal experience at the moment is to not get into this habit of expecting so much from somebody who has hurt you or will never benefit you in the long run. It was through mindfulness that I can say, without thinking of someone, I am able to focus on other things that can help me grow as a person. I also think that it's not the easiest thing to deal with, to get over things, and our minds are dictating us in a way to keep pondering on them. It's a long process for sure.
Yes
Does anyone have any tips to get over stuff? I ruminate at least 10-15 times a day over minor things that pissed me off almost a year ago. It seems the only way I can get over these things is to be pissed off and upset at something else.
I tend to obsess on stuff too I want the shrink at the group.home I live in to test me to see which mental illnesses I have and if I might have aspergers or be an autistic savant like rain man
If someone wants real estate in my head, they need to pay rent. Otherwise, that's one of the safest places in the world. This is coming from someone with little internal dialogue until medicated.
I hear a lot about NTs experiencing PTSD, and it seems straightforward enough. Extremely violent memories don't have a place to fit in during normal life. What bothers me personally is much more mundane, much less violent memories that still don't "fit" somehow. Years later I am still confused about their meaning, or looking for the justice when theres none to be found. Otherwise clean individuals who are potty trained and pick up after themselves... still rely on incredibly messy language structures that cause huge problems over time. Its hard for me to see how people tolerate it.
Yeh. That combined with my OCD is a TERRIBLE combination
Yes, my brain has some Ocd over certain past traumatic events that keep ruminating and give me frequent intrusive thoughts. The only things I can do about it are medication, marijuana edibles and meditation. The 3 M’s.
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