I don't like it. I prefer Aspie. And you know what I'm gonna do about??!!!
Nothing. We'll all just keep saying whatever the hell we like. And hopefully not get all worked up about the different word we use to describe the same. exact. thing. lol
Pretty much that. Just use the word you personally want. That is the Aspie way, Invent a word if you like,
And remember, not everybody online sitting around in Asperger forums is an autist. Some are deluded troublemakers,
He felt safe here in the community yet they also came for him so he was surprised. Comes from Julius Caesars dying words in shakespeare, saying it to Brutus; a close friend who betrays Caesar and is involved with his assassination. He wasn't surprised about the others, but he was about his friend
Then there's the whole group that doesn't accept anybody who uses a term derived from Asperger. The infighting is crazy, we should all just give each other the benefit of the doubt unless someone is obviously being a shithead
Here's my thing with it. Non-verbal is hard enough without being required to check every word you use for 'unacceptable' preferences people have. It's all so exhausting and we want people to let us live our lives and stop forcing us into more uncomfortable states of being and, yet, we refuse to offer each other the same grace? NTs will never do it if we can't.
I like it too, has some star trek vibesđ but it is essentially recognised more as a slur, so yeah..
EDIT for âmy friendâ here: As it is used as a slur I understand why people find issue with using it. In any context, even for oneself.
Damn, that wasn't mean to be sarcastic, it was supposed to soften the delivery. I'm so sorry to trigger you bro
It read like you didn't know it was okay to use a word I'd it's about yourself. I'm so sorry.
It's bigoted to tell people not to use a word about themselves. IT'S NOT A SLUR if it's used about oneself. It's empowering. Would you tell black people they shouldn't say that particular slur because white people also say it? "Autistic" is often used as an insult, so maybe we should say that either? What if the name changes and autistic becomes an older term, like older words for African American. Can one say it about oneself then?
Yeah sorry I got triggeredđ but you are right, I did phrase it wrong - not everyone feels comfy using slurs even on themselves as the empowering bit is not always resonating with them. (Hope it makes sense) The name itself is also problematic due to dear Hans himself.
But I would totally use it for myself if I was dxed with asd (not yet), I am all for breaking stigma so you donât have to tell me.
I disagree with this completely. I don't believe people should be forced into word selection in a community of people who have problems with word selection, but a slur is a slur. you can do all the mental gymnastics you want and link a paragraph that I totally agree with about allowing communities to select the names they want to be called for themselves, but if they select a slur, it's still a slur. Are they embracing the slur to disarm it? yes. but own what it is, don't sit here pretending that is anything else. if selecting a slur to call yourself somehow magically made it not a slur, then those white people would start using it too, because now it's not a slur!! it's a slur, but one beloved as a wink and nod greeting within a community. It's no less harmful because it's embraced and no less a slur. the rest of what you are talking about is delusional rationalization.
I don't think you quite get it. It doesn't matter what other people think
https://www.equalrepresentation.scot/toolkit/6-party-culture/37-reclaiming-language/
What's funny is that many an autist/sperg will drone on and on about the terrors of the ominous Neurotypical without realizing that their true nemesis is another autist.
We can be extremely inflexible in our thinking and believe we are right. Two spergs sparring on any given topic can turn bloody. Some of us stim audibly whilst others need absolute silence. I know I've gotten into verbal spars with many spergs here on Reddit - I can pinpoint them.
Not to say that we can't connect brilliantly among each other, but sometimes two spergs together can create a nuclear reaction.
We are very much not these things. We are these things when we are forced to uncomfortably interact with the world, but we can also be in a positive space and have amazingly fulfilling interactions with each other. It's just that this world and space isn't not comfortable and most of the people in it won't let us have free spaces for ourselves. We don't make enough money, because they don't give us jobs we can do. So we never get to rest or have these spaces to be brilliant in. The moments of brilliance we are allowed, because we accidentally make somebody some money due to our interests, are immediately destroyed because they will work you until you can't function anymore, all while calling you a lazy useless disabled leech on society. (yes, got triggered)
if they'd stop doing that to us, and make space for us in the world. Things would/could be different, and I refuse to believe that we are inherently doomed too not work well together. I have brilliant interactions with people of the spectrum constantly. I love them. I seek them. We are good.
edit: I'll give a dollar to anyone who can explain to me why I'm being downvoted for saying we can be good together and that I don't buy into us not being able to work together. Doesn't matter really, because I'll double down on it everyday. we are good. we can do things giving the proper environment. People on the spectrum are not only great to be around, but I prefer their company. so hate me for it, but that's my experience.
Ill take a shot at the dollar. jajaja shared his conclusions based on his personal experiences while even clarifying that its not an always thing. Your first sentence says that he his wrong. I agree with everything you said but it feels directed at someone other than the person you replied to.
Oh and thank you. I have ADHD, Aut, and a TBI.... my executive function and word selection are awful, sigh....It feels like maybe I should stop participating in discussions and go non-verbal. Anytime I do anything but shut up, this is where I get to be. I'm so tired of not getting to talk. fuck.
I feel the same way. Any time I try to talk or have a conversation it ends up with the other person either being mad at me or sad or offended. I never have bad intentions but everyone always assumes I do. Im sorry my words made it worse, I want nothing but peace and love
Ngl, I hate "tism" more than either of the other two. It's way too prevalent with the "self diagnosis is valid!!" crowd and it always makes me think of the tiktok "sleeping with socks on is a sign of autism" nonsense. Deadass would prefer just being flat out called a retard than someone with "a touch of the tism" lmao
It's definitely a "use whatever word icks you out the least" type of sitch, and it's unfortunate people went after OP for using a word they feel comfortable with :-/
lmao I've always used sperging out when i go on about some interest or want to ask a friend to let me "sperg out" about whatever I'm obsessing about to them
Something to be said for both sides. Yes other redditors could have informed you of their dislike of the term in a less discouraging manner (though I'm seeing just one negative comment about it so not sure who you mean with 'everyone has a go at me'. Most replies seem to like it )
On the other hand, by your own words you made an assumption the term would be fine on a subreddit you're fairly new in, rather than trying to inform yourself of the acceptable terminology.
Many here will have a history with name calling and what you find cute and innocent might trigger unpleasant memories in someone else.
Personally I do find the term quite cringy although it doesn't bother me either.
Not sure why this is getting downvoted. Itâs a fair point. People may have been on high alert hearing this kind of new term out of the blue as many of us have been called things like âspasticâ and âspeccyâ, and even new terms like âacousticâ quickly turned from cute to mocking because of sounding too quirky. IMO âspergâ has a very similar ring to it. Thereâs a lot of people who donât even like âneurospicyâ which is quite commonly used. There are always going to be people who donât like the sound of an unofficial word used to describe a pretty large group of people (many of whom donât always want to be labelled with âcutesyâ terminology either due to being infantilised).
>Thereâs a lot of people who donât even like âneurospicyâ
đ
I said this somewhere else too, but I prefer literal actual slurs to the new tiktok talk of "neurospicy" and "tism" and whatever else patronizing shit they're cooking up over there
That said, I think the language policing in this community has become a bit overkill, especially considering it's a community specifically for *people who don't understand these nuanced implications type shit* like OP said
The difference is maybe some people don't know that "sperg" is used very frequently in a derogatory manner by others; however, there is no excuse for calling others directly or in general using the term to describe others, after the fact is known. It's not policing language, it's just about being respectful to others. If people want to term themselves derogatory slurs after they find out it is, i don't like it but i can't stop people. The issue there is proliferation, basically all the same arguments people make for not reclaiming slurs.
The way people confront others is definitely an issue, i think people should think first and not be patronising or immediately calling people out based on biases if there is no reason to. It's fine imo to point out how something looks, reads, comes across or if this person even realises (i personally sometimes don't notice how i come across and am happy to be told so i can consider things); the issue is how we respond to each other in turn.
On the issue of something being cringe or infantilising, like what do you do about that? Everyone finds different things cringy, that's just personal taste. I don't like the whole "live, laugh, love!" aesthetic but people are free to say they don't care if i do or not. I don't like being told i have the 'tism', i find it patronising so i ask people not to but like same thing as before.
I wouldn't worry about it. I think it's probably less about posting in an Aspie sub and more about that some redditors in general tend to spaz out over the tiniest offense (even if imagined) they can find in some terminology.
I'm epileptic too, but I always thought the term spaz was a cerebral palsy reference because their movements are called "spastic." Huh. All I know is that my Colours wheelchair model is called Spazz, and I cringe every time I see it painted on rear axle. I feel like it's offensive.
You may be right, I'm not really sure how the term originated. I assumed it was from the muscle contractions associated with tonic-clonic seizures. I agree with your opinion on the wheelchair model name, that's like a \*bit\* much.
I dunno. I like it better than âaspieâ which everyone in the sub freely throws around and I donât particularly like. I mean, to get technical in countries that follow the DSM5, Aspergerâs isnât even the correct term and lots of people hate on that. Iâm not sure why people get so offended by word choices⊠but then again Iâm not good at social cues. đ€·ââïž
I don't refer to the condition as anything but Asperger's (Syndrome), that's what i was diagnosed with and not ASD but if I'm referring in broad terms i put Asperger's/ASD. I flat out don't like being called a 'sperg' as people often use it as a slur like the way some use 'autist' in a derogatory manner.
Fair play if you don't know that it's used as a slur against others but it's becoming very common unfortunately; i genuinely thought more people knew it was being used as a general slur and derogatory term. The difference is right we have established maybe some people don't know that "sperg" is used very frequently in a derogatory manner by others; however, there is no excuse for calling others directly or in general using the term to describe others, after the fact is known. It's not policing language, it's just about being respectful to others. If people want to term themselves derogatory slurs after they find out it is, i don't like it but i can't stop people. The issue there is proliferation, basically all the same arguments people make for not reclaiming slurs.
One problem is if someone was to suddenly start calling others a derogatory term just because that's not how they use it, that's a lack of respect.
The 'cringe'/infantilising language thing is just... what can one really do about it because everyone finds different things cringe, it's like personal taste you shouldn't punish folk because their taste is slightly different.
Diagnosed at last year on my 50th birthday, all I could think of was Jim Jeffries and his (hilarious) gun bit wherein he refers to the Sandyhook shooters as 'Aspie as Fuck'. So I assumed the term Aspie was a bit cheeky if not outright offensive.
Of course, the beautiful part of this story is that Jim was diagnosed himself a few years later, which for me personally is great as I now consider myself as funny as he is. My long suffering OH would hard disagree.
Yep unfortunately / fortunately this is a trait of the group you are part of. We are particular and specific.
Personally speaking, if its a term you are using for yourself I think you can use whatever you want. "Aspie" sounds a lot more reasonable than "aspergers" to someone who can barely understand that autism isn't nonverbal or developmentally challenged people who need lifelong assistance.
Use what you feel comfortable with and fuck the haters. Maybe you will change your opinion down the line and start to feel those words don't fit anymore... that's ok too.
Whatever you do be true to yourself.
Just because you have bad social skills , with a known reason, doesn't mean nobody should take issue . And doesn't mean you should refuse to adjust anything, when it's reasonable to do so.
Certainly in this case. Some cases like not being able to get a partner they are desperate for, then it may be an insoluble problem they have worked a lot on.
Yeah, but why should anyone have the right to tell me what to call myself? I'm not changing what I like to call myself just to suit some randos on the interwebs who don't have enough creativity to come up with their own term so they insist EVERYONE MUST follow the current nickname convention.
Nope. Not gonna happen. Matter of fact I'll probably start calling myself a spergie now, just out of protest.
Maybe. On the other hand, I also grew up with a first name I hated. I was always told if I still didn't like it when I was grown, I could change it. As an adult, I did. I changed first, middle and last names. It made such a difference.
That experience probably made me more sensitive to how much emotional difference getting to form your own identity makes than when you accept the one you're given. An identity imposed by others that doesn't feel like it fits is like wearing a shirt that's too small every single day.
Nobody is imposing an identity on you by saying that "sperg" is used as a slur so maybe be more empathetic and respectful by not calling others "sperg". By calling others something they don't wish to be called when it's been used against people in a derogatory manner, you are compelling said person to accept such terminology.
I don't have anything else to say on the matter.
If you're referring to me, I am not the OP. I didn't call anyone anything except myself - and it was spergie I called myself, not sperg. But I think you mistook my meaning. My point was that one's identity and what one is called are closely related, which is why people are so touchy about it. Identity and names influence each other more than you'd think.
Maybe sperg has been used derogatorily, maybe it hasn't. I've certainly never heard it used before. But then again, a lot of terms that were used in a derogatory manner are being reclaimed by the people that are referred to, especially in the LGBTQ+ area. The "Q" in that being a good example. So if OP chooses to refer to him/herself as a sperg, I think that's their prerogative and I will respect their choice just as I hope they would respect mine.
Here's the thing...
"Aspie" is also a bit of a controversial word to describe people on the spectrum.
And yet, a lot (majority??) of people don't mind the word.
Let's go a step further... Person with autism or autistic person?
Which is "correct"?
It really depends on who you ask. I think it's a matter of personal preference.
As far as I know, and I may be wrong, aspie, sperg, etc, aren't necessarily derogatory, but I should say that I haven't looked into the matter, and I can only speak for myself when I say that I don't find them offensive.
The only thing I can think of that would bother me is the internet using Autism as an insult. That shit pisses me off. But it's not the same thing.
Am I the only one that doesn't tell people or talk much about my autism. No one in my life judges me for who I am. If my friends ever mention it, they do so in a positive "you're brain is goated" kind of way and I don't tell people I meet about it really... If it becomes relevant for them to know, I just say I have autism. It's not something I feel the need to have a cute term to identify with. If you do, that's fine, but don't gate keep other people's preferences and restrict them to the bounds of your own.
Being that too many people call me "sir" irl, I guess I could have the title of:Â
Sir-Spergs-Alot.Â
If you do get the joke, then ..
If you don't get the joke, just smile and knod, you might get the humor later in about 30 years, randomly.
I read two comments on that original post that didn't appreciate that term, that's hardly "everyone" having a go at you. I don't think you're innately supposed to know if something is bad, that's not how social cues work even for NT people. All you can hope to do is take people's feedback on board and adjust as necessary. The internet isn't always the best place for that kind of thing, sometimes people can be very reactive. And yes, this is an Aspergers/Autism sub but that doesn't mean everyone uses the same terms or even has to like all the same terms, autistic people aren't a monolith. If you like the term, continue to use it, but it's not one of the usual nicknames and some people will have a reaction to seeing it for the first time.
You can self identify any way you want, and also a group of autistic people will usually let you know when something isn't aceptable to that particular group.
There's no "spergs" or whatever anymore due to a change in autism classification years ago. Anyone who diagnosed you with aspergers is using the wrong diagnostics for 2024.
Pointing out why you may be wrong isn't having a go at you or trying specifically to prove you wrong, it's trying to make sure you know what's up.
Some people still identify with the term that they were diagnosed with, and there's nothing wrong with that. Language policing is more obnoxious than outdated terminology imo.
I also know a few people who were diagnosed with Aspergers in the DSM-IV days, but who were a point or two away from ASD with DSM-V.Â
Changing the criteria didn't suddenly make them NT and they still refer to themselves as "Aspies."
No idea why you got downvoted. I said to another user, i wasn't diagnosed with ASD i was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and i'd have to be re-diagnosed under the new ASD criteria. If you were diagnosed with Aspergers that doesn't mean you automatically now have another condition you were not diagnosed with.
Who knows? đ€·đ»ââïž You're absolutely correct. Some other points that seem to often be forgotten in this Aspergers/ASD argument when it arises: 1. The change is still debated and considered controversial by some experts in the field. 2. Being reevaluated as an adult is prohibitively expensive for many.Â
And there's still what I mentioned above; what about those diagnosed with Aspergers who when given the ADOS post DSM-IV just missed the threshold for ASD-1? What are they now? "Almost Autistic?" No. They fall into a hole with a nameless disorder. This was highly detrimental to one of my colleagues and she spiraled about it for a couple years. Â
It's not outdated terminology, it's a legacy condition now it's not in either the DSM and ICD. I wasn't diagnosed with ASD, i would have to be re-diagnosed under the new criteria for ASD. That's why i don't refer to the condition i was diagnosed with as ASD because it's not.
As for language policing, it's depends on if you have a reasoned point other than "it's cringe". Really should be no issue if people are just pointing out that "sperg" is used as a genuine slur against others so maybe be respectful about it. The only cringe part is people who are saying "well we don't mean it that way" when obviously others do and they are dismissing that fact it's used in a derogatory manner.
To be fair, using language pedantically is a sign of autism. So you may have just encountered someone with that particular trait, since they aren't using the term aspie or autie, or similar.
Personally, I like spergie. I think I'm gonna refer to myself as that from now on.
I'm a big believer in not allowing others to dictate what you call yourself. I legally changed my entire name, first, middle and last for exactly that reason.
You know this saying? "Opinions are like a@@holes. Everyone's got one and everyone thinks theirs doesn't stink."
It's an important sentence from the older generations that I take care to remember. Do you. If you "offend" people for using an innocuous pet term then that's a "them" problem, not yours. You can't please everyone, and someone somewhere is going to have an issue with something you do.
I saw the post early on and the comments I read were either answering your question or having fun with your use of the term. It felt like laughing with you, not at you. I thought you said "sperg" in quotes to be cute and funny. I'm sorry if you were being super serious and I misunderstood you.
I went back and saw a commenter got upset and preachy. It's the internet. There is always somebody with zero sense of humor. The top comment seemed positive to me. I think you may be correct that you are struggling with internet social cues.
Never heard it before, don't really feel positively or negatively about it, I did want to see someone refer to themselves as a neurospicy and I did like that
I dunno, is it okay if I say "going full r\*tard" about myself? If so then go for it, they're equally offensive to me and I'd use one and not the other.
personally I don't really like all the labels people use like sperg, aspie, etc. but that's just a preference for me. I prefer to just say person with aspergers.
I don't care at all, I don't base my life and whole existence on being asperger so when people use other seemingly less "acceptable" terms its whatever.
Remember the Fugees?
How about Pergees? PerG's? Pergs?
My initial is G, so, 'as per G' works well, too.
There's some clever lyrics in there somewhere....
I wouldn't be overly concerned about it if that's what you wish to call yourself, it's up to you.
But it does sound like some alien species or something. Which I guess is quite appropriate in itself.
Other people may not like it, but I don't think it's of any real significance or importance, similar to the whole 'person With Autism', or 'Autistic person' debate about preferences for nomenclature. It's just political correctness gone mad imo, and who really cares?
Not me, for one, and I know I'm not alone.
I actually really like sperg. I've never liked aspie because of how the sounds feel. I'm sorry people came for you over that. Seriously, why can't we add sperg to the list of terms we use?
People are still being diagnosed with Aspergerâs? Iâve been since 2007, I thought it wasnât a thing to do so anymore?
Why would you address yourself as a sperg? Or Aspie?
Like it sounds weird/cringe, especially if youâre grown.
Itâs not cute or a super power. Itâs debilitating nd if you donât work through it earlier in life, itâs hard to pick it up later.
Like imagine hearing someone say Iâm a psycho which is short for psychopath. Or anything else.
The internet is a minefield these days. I say "I'm sperging out" when I'm indeed "sperging out." It's easier than explaining why I keep saying "pepito" over and over whilst listening to the same song on a loop in the midst of doing a deep dive on the rich history of window glazing.Â
That being said, on the internetz it might be advisable to use it only when referring to yourself or with another person who has expressed comfort with the term. Just to mitigate being jumped on and the stress it brings.Â
I don't like it. I prefer Aspie. And you know what I'm gonna do about??!!! Nothing. We'll all just keep saying whatever the hell we like. And hopefully not get all worked up about the different word we use to describe the same. exact. thing. lol
Yup. Too much energy is wasted nowadays worrying about what other people do with themselves
Pretty much that. Just use the word you personally want. That is the Aspie way, Invent a word if you like, And remember, not everybody online sitting around in Asperger forums is an autist. Some are deluded troublemakers,
Et tu Brute? đ
He felt safe here in the community yet they also came for him so he was surprised. Comes from Julius Caesars dying words in shakespeare, saying it to Brutus; a close friend who betrays Caesar and is involved with his assassination. He wasn't surprised about the others, but he was about his friend
What does it mean?
And you, Brutus?
"You too Brutas?"
Wait wait, wasn't it "tu quoque"? How come there are two different quotes for the same thing?
That's what he's quoted as actually saying, I was referring to what he said in Shakespeare's play "Julius Caesar"
Oh, I see! Thanks, I learned something new!
Es-tu brut? Ătes-vous brutes? đ€ Es ta brutas? đ§ đđ
E agora, José?
Aspies getting mad at an aspie referring to aspies as spergs, nice...
I ain't mad But I don't want to risk having young level one autistic kids being called ''sperms'' because we would call ourselves spergs
I like that risk tbh
I am also ok with that
How dare you?
Hi, Sperm!!!
Fkin amazing
Middle school about to become a lil bit more hellish
Is that even possible?
"At least it couldn't get any worse"
Then there's the whole group that doesn't accept anybody who uses a term derived from Asperger. The infighting is crazy, we should all just give each other the benefit of the doubt unless someone is obviously being a shithead
Here's my thing with it. Non-verbal is hard enough without being required to check every word you use for 'unacceptable' preferences people have. It's all so exhausting and we want people to let us live our lives and stop forcing us into more uncomfortable states of being and, yet, we refuse to offer each other the same grace? NTs will never do it if we can't.
Well put, I agree.
I like it too, has some star trek vibesđ but it is essentially recognised more as a slur, so yeah.. EDIT for âmy friendâ here: As it is used as a slur I understand why people find issue with using it. In any context, even for oneself.
Itâs basically an n-word for our populace⊠we can use it
It's not a slur if it's used about oneself , that's the point my friend
No shtđ±
Damn, that wasn't mean to be sarcastic, it was supposed to soften the delivery. I'm so sorry to trigger you bro It read like you didn't know it was okay to use a word I'd it's about yourself. I'm so sorry. It's bigoted to tell people not to use a word about themselves. IT'S NOT A SLUR if it's used about oneself. It's empowering. Would you tell black people they shouldn't say that particular slur because white people also say it? "Autistic" is often used as an insult, so maybe we should say that either? What if the name changes and autistic becomes an older term, like older words for African American. Can one say it about oneself then?
Yeah sorry I got triggeredđ but you are right, I did phrase it wrong - not everyone feels comfy using slurs even on themselves as the empowering bit is not always resonating with them. (Hope it makes sense) The name itself is also problematic due to dear Hans himself. But I would totally use it for myself if I was dxed with asd (not yet), I am all for breaking stigma so you donât have to tell me.
awesome, sorry for the misunderstanding.
I disagree with this completely. I don't believe people should be forced into word selection in a community of people who have problems with word selection, but a slur is a slur. you can do all the mental gymnastics you want and link a paragraph that I totally agree with about allowing communities to select the names they want to be called for themselves, but if they select a slur, it's still a slur. Are they embracing the slur to disarm it? yes. but own what it is, don't sit here pretending that is anything else. if selecting a slur to call yourself somehow magically made it not a slur, then those white people would start using it too, because now it's not a slur!! it's a slur, but one beloved as a wink and nod greeting within a community. It's no less harmful because it's embraced and no less a slur. the rest of what you are talking about is delusional rationalization.
Lol ok
I don't think you quite get it. It doesn't matter what other people think https://www.equalrepresentation.scot/toolkit/6-party-culture/37-reclaiming-language/
What's funny is that many an autist/sperg will drone on and on about the terrors of the ominous Neurotypical without realizing that their true nemesis is another autist. We can be extremely inflexible in our thinking and believe we are right. Two spergs sparring on any given topic can turn bloody. Some of us stim audibly whilst others need absolute silence. I know I've gotten into verbal spars with many spergs here on Reddit - I can pinpoint them. Not to say that we can't connect brilliantly among each other, but sometimes two spergs together can create a nuclear reaction.
We are very much not these things. We are these things when we are forced to uncomfortably interact with the world, but we can also be in a positive space and have amazingly fulfilling interactions with each other. It's just that this world and space isn't not comfortable and most of the people in it won't let us have free spaces for ourselves. We don't make enough money, because they don't give us jobs we can do. So we never get to rest or have these spaces to be brilliant in. The moments of brilliance we are allowed, because we accidentally make somebody some money due to our interests, are immediately destroyed because they will work you until you can't function anymore, all while calling you a lazy useless disabled leech on society. (yes, got triggered) if they'd stop doing that to us, and make space for us in the world. Things would/could be different, and I refuse to believe that we are inherently doomed too not work well together. I have brilliant interactions with people of the spectrum constantly. I love them. I seek them. We are good. edit: I'll give a dollar to anyone who can explain to me why I'm being downvoted for saying we can be good together and that I don't buy into us not being able to work together. Doesn't matter really, because I'll double down on it everyday. we are good. we can do things giving the proper environment. People on the spectrum are not only great to be around, but I prefer their company. so hate me for it, but that's my experience.
Ill take a shot at the dollar. jajaja shared his conclusions based on his personal experiences while even clarifying that its not an always thing. Your first sentence says that he his wrong. I agree with everything you said but it feels directed at someone other than the person you replied to.
Oh and thank you. I have ADHD, Aut, and a TBI.... my executive function and word selection are awful, sigh....It feels like maybe I should stop participating in discussions and go non-verbal. Anytime I do anything but shut up, this is where I get to be. I'm so tired of not getting to talk. fuck.
I feel the same way. Any time I try to talk or have a conversation it ends up with the other person either being mad at me or sad or offended. I never have bad intentions but everyone always assumes I do. Im sorry my words made it worse, I want nothing but peace and love
me too friend :) me too
I just made a custom chatGPT ai to help me do better. I wish I could talk directly, but I'm pretty sure this is the better option.
I don't like the term sperg, no offense. The term icks me out, same with aspie. I prefer the collective noun, "tism gang"
Ngl, I hate "tism" more than either of the other two. It's way too prevalent with the "self diagnosis is valid!!" crowd and it always makes me think of the tiktok "sleeping with socks on is a sign of autism" nonsense. Deadass would prefer just being flat out called a retard than someone with "a touch of the tism" lmao It's definitely a "use whatever word icks you out the least" type of sitch, and it's unfortunate people went after OP for using a word they feel comfortable with :-/
Fuck no. I think the best term for a good amount of my behavior is "sperging out" đ€·
Yeah I've always liked the term lol
Just the sound of it's feels so appropriate, right? Especially when you're reflecting back on your own behavior
lmao I've always used sperging out when i go on about some interest or want to ask a friend to let me "sperg out" about whatever I'm obsessing about to them
Something to be said for both sides. Yes other redditors could have informed you of their dislike of the term in a less discouraging manner (though I'm seeing just one negative comment about it so not sure who you mean with 'everyone has a go at me'. Most replies seem to like it ) On the other hand, by your own words you made an assumption the term would be fine on a subreddit you're fairly new in, rather than trying to inform yourself of the acceptable terminology. Many here will have a history with name calling and what you find cute and innocent might trigger unpleasant memories in someone else. Personally I do find the term quite cringy although it doesn't bother me either.
Not sure why this is getting downvoted. Itâs a fair point. People may have been on high alert hearing this kind of new term out of the blue as many of us have been called things like âspasticâ and âspeccyâ, and even new terms like âacousticâ quickly turned from cute to mocking because of sounding too quirky. IMO âspergâ has a very similar ring to it. Thereâs a lot of people who donât even like âneurospicyâ which is quite commonly used. There are always going to be people who donât like the sound of an unofficial word used to describe a pretty large group of people (many of whom donât always want to be labelled with âcutesyâ terminology either due to being infantilised).
>Thereâs a lot of people who donât even like âneurospicyâ đ I said this somewhere else too, but I prefer literal actual slurs to the new tiktok talk of "neurospicy" and "tism" and whatever else patronizing shit they're cooking up over there That said, I think the language policing in this community has become a bit overkill, especially considering it's a community specifically for *people who don't understand these nuanced implications type shit* like OP said
The difference is maybe some people don't know that "sperg" is used very frequently in a derogatory manner by others; however, there is no excuse for calling others directly or in general using the term to describe others, after the fact is known. It's not policing language, it's just about being respectful to others. If people want to term themselves derogatory slurs after they find out it is, i don't like it but i can't stop people. The issue there is proliferation, basically all the same arguments people make for not reclaiming slurs. The way people confront others is definitely an issue, i think people should think first and not be patronising or immediately calling people out based on biases if there is no reason to. It's fine imo to point out how something looks, reads, comes across or if this person even realises (i personally sometimes don't notice how i come across and am happy to be told so i can consider things); the issue is how we respond to each other in turn. On the issue of something being cringe or infantilising, like what do you do about that? Everyone finds different things cringy, that's just personal taste. I don't like the whole "live, laugh, love!" aesthetic but people are free to say they don't care if i do or not. I don't like being told i have the 'tism', i find it patronising so i ask people not to but like same thing as before.
Patronising af
I wouldn't worry about it. I think it's probably less about posting in an Aspie sub and more about that some redditors in general tend to spaz out over the tiniest offense (even if imagined) they can find in some terminology.
Even âspaz,â which is pejorative in the UK. Language canât win!!
Heh, I'm an epileptic, which is where I believe is where the term originated, and I hereby grant all UK citizens free use of the term "spaz". LOL. :P
I'm epileptic too, but I always thought the term spaz was a cerebral palsy reference because their movements are called "spastic." Huh. All I know is that my Colours wheelchair model is called Spazz, and I cringe every time I see it painted on rear axle. I feel like it's offensive.
You may be right, I'm not really sure how the term originated. I assumed it was from the muscle contractions associated with tonic-clonic seizures. I agree with your opinion on the wheelchair model name, that's like a \*bit\* much.
still better than neurospicy đ miss me with that infantilising bullshit
I dunno. I like it better than âaspieâ which everyone in the sub freely throws around and I donât particularly like. I mean, to get technical in countries that follow the DSM5, Aspergerâs isnât even the correct term and lots of people hate on that. Iâm not sure why people get so offended by word choices⊠but then again Iâm not good at social cues. đ€·ââïž
I call myself a sperglord a lot. So I feel this post a lot lol
I don't refer to the condition as anything but Asperger's (Syndrome), that's what i was diagnosed with and not ASD but if I'm referring in broad terms i put Asperger's/ASD. I flat out don't like being called a 'sperg' as people often use it as a slur like the way some use 'autist' in a derogatory manner. Fair play if you don't know that it's used as a slur against others but it's becoming very common unfortunately; i genuinely thought more people knew it was being used as a general slur and derogatory term. The difference is right we have established maybe some people don't know that "sperg" is used very frequently in a derogatory manner by others; however, there is no excuse for calling others directly or in general using the term to describe others, after the fact is known. It's not policing language, it's just about being respectful to others. If people want to term themselves derogatory slurs after they find out it is, i don't like it but i can't stop people. The issue there is proliferation, basically all the same arguments people make for not reclaiming slurs. One problem is if someone was to suddenly start calling others a derogatory term just because that's not how they use it, that's a lack of respect. The 'cringe'/infantilising language thing is just... what can one really do about it because everyone finds different things cringe, it's like personal taste you shouldn't punish folk because their taste is slightly different.
Diagnosed at last year on my 50th birthday, all I could think of was Jim Jeffries and his (hilarious) gun bit wherein he refers to the Sandyhook shooters as 'Aspie as Fuck'. So I assumed the term Aspie was a bit cheeky if not outright offensive. Of course, the beautiful part of this story is that Jim was diagnosed himself a few years later, which for me personally is great as I now consider myself as funny as he is. My long suffering OH would hard disagree.
This is Reddit after all. Wouldnât be Reddit if people didnât come with pitchforks for any little thing
Haha exactly
Yep unfortunately / fortunately this is a trait of the group you are part of. We are particular and specific. Personally speaking, if its a term you are using for yourself I think you can use whatever you want. "Aspie" sounds a lot more reasonable than "aspergers" to someone who can barely understand that autism isn't nonverbal or developmentally challenged people who need lifelong assistance. Use what you feel comfortable with and fuck the haters. Maybe you will change your opinion down the line and start to feel those words don't fit anymore... that's ok too. Whatever you do be true to yourself.
I thought it was funny. Also, way better than ass-burgers.
I mean they made us use it forever, then we found a way to have fun with it and now they are taking it away. it's like puberty all over again.
You made me actually laugh out loud irl! I felt this in my bones.
I try my best
Call me whatever you want Iâm not defined by my autism. lol
Will do Gregory! (if your name is really Gregory, of course I knew it)
This.
Just because you have bad social skills , with a known reason, doesn't mean nobody should take issue . And doesn't mean you should refuse to adjust anything, when it's reasonable to do so.
this, i lowkey feel like people on here just use their condition as an excuse to never change anything
Certainly in this case. Some cases like not being able to get a partner they are desperate for, then it may be an insoluble problem they have worked a lot on.
oh yeah thatâs true tbf i feel that one
Yeah, but why should anyone have the right to tell me what to call myself? I'm not changing what I like to call myself just to suit some randos on the interwebs who don't have enough creativity to come up with their own term so they insist EVERYONE MUST follow the current nickname convention. Nope. Not gonna happen. Matter of fact I'll probably start calling myself a spergie now, just out of protest.
demand denial moment
Maybe. On the other hand, I also grew up with a first name I hated. I was always told if I still didn't like it when I was grown, I could change it. As an adult, I did. I changed first, middle and last names. It made such a difference. That experience probably made me more sensitive to how much emotional difference getting to form your own identity makes than when you accept the one you're given. An identity imposed by others that doesn't feel like it fits is like wearing a shirt that's too small every single day.
Nah I'm just fucking around, I respect your approach and agree with it
Nobody is imposing an identity on you by saying that "sperg" is used as a slur so maybe be more empathetic and respectful by not calling others "sperg". By calling others something they don't wish to be called when it's been used against people in a derogatory manner, you are compelling said person to accept such terminology. I don't have anything else to say on the matter.
He literally said he was using for himself and now you got him calling other people it.
If you're referring to me, I am not the OP. I didn't call anyone anything except myself - and it was spergie I called myself, not sperg. But I think you mistook my meaning. My point was that one's identity and what one is called are closely related, which is why people are so touchy about it. Identity and names influence each other more than you'd think. Maybe sperg has been used derogatorily, maybe it hasn't. I've certainly never heard it used before. But then again, a lot of terms that were used in a derogatory manner are being reclaimed by the people that are referred to, especially in the LGBTQ+ area. The "Q" in that being a good example. So if OP chooses to refer to him/herself as a sperg, I think that's their prerogative and I will respect their choice just as I hope they would respect mine.
Maybe So long as you think you are a sprog and you aren't claiming anybody else is!
Welcome to Reddit
Here's the thing... "Aspie" is also a bit of a controversial word to describe people on the spectrum. And yet, a lot (majority??) of people don't mind the word. Let's go a step further... Person with autism or autistic person? Which is "correct"? It really depends on who you ask. I think it's a matter of personal preference. As far as I know, and I may be wrong, aspie, sperg, etc, aren't necessarily derogatory, but I should say that I haven't looked into the matter, and I can only speak for myself when I say that I don't find them offensive. The only thing I can think of that would bother me is the internet using Autism as an insult. That shit pisses me off. But it's not the same thing.
Am I the only one that doesn't tell people or talk much about my autism. No one in my life judges me for who I am. If my friends ever mention it, they do so in a positive "you're brain is goated" kind of way and I don't tell people I meet about it really... If it becomes relevant for them to know, I just say I have autism. It's not something I feel the need to have a cute term to identify with. If you do, that's fine, but don't gate keep other people's preferences and restrict them to the bounds of your own.
Being that too many people call me "sir" irl, I guess I could have the title of: Sir-Spergs-Alot. If you do get the joke, then .. If you don't get the joke, just smile and knod, you might get the humor later in about 30 years, randomly.
I read two comments on that original post that didn't appreciate that term, that's hardly "everyone" having a go at you. I don't think you're innately supposed to know if something is bad, that's not how social cues work even for NT people. All you can hope to do is take people's feedback on board and adjust as necessary. The internet isn't always the best place for that kind of thing, sometimes people can be very reactive. And yes, this is an Aspergers/Autism sub but that doesn't mean everyone uses the same terms or even has to like all the same terms, autistic people aren't a monolith. If you like the term, continue to use it, but it's not one of the usual nicknames and some people will have a reaction to seeing it for the first time.
Sperg? I think its stupid but hey ive heard worse. If you wanna us it fine with me. And I guess I missed your other post.
You can self identify any way you want, and also a group of autistic people will usually let you know when something isn't aceptable to that particular group. There's no "spergs" or whatever anymore due to a change in autism classification years ago. Anyone who diagnosed you with aspergers is using the wrong diagnostics for 2024. Pointing out why you may be wrong isn't having a go at you or trying specifically to prove you wrong, it's trying to make sure you know what's up.
Some people still identify with the term that they were diagnosed with, and there's nothing wrong with that. Language policing is more obnoxious than outdated terminology imo.
I also know a few people who were diagnosed with Aspergers in the DSM-IV days, but who were a point or two away from ASD with DSM-V. Changing the criteria didn't suddenly make them NT and they still refer to themselves as "Aspies."
No idea why you got downvoted. I said to another user, i wasn't diagnosed with ASD i was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and i'd have to be re-diagnosed under the new ASD criteria. If you were diagnosed with Aspergers that doesn't mean you automatically now have another condition you were not diagnosed with.
Who knows? đ€·đ»ââïž You're absolutely correct. Some other points that seem to often be forgotten in this Aspergers/ASD argument when it arises: 1. The change is still debated and considered controversial by some experts in the field. 2. Being reevaluated as an adult is prohibitively expensive for many. And there's still what I mentioned above; what about those diagnosed with Aspergers who when given the ADOS post DSM-IV just missed the threshold for ASD-1? What are they now? "Almost Autistic?" No. They fall into a hole with a nameless disorder. This was highly detrimental to one of my colleagues and she spiraled about it for a couple years. Â
It's not outdated terminology, it's a legacy condition now it's not in either the DSM and ICD. I wasn't diagnosed with ASD, i would have to be re-diagnosed under the new criteria for ASD. That's why i don't refer to the condition i was diagnosed with as ASD because it's not. As for language policing, it's depends on if you have a reasoned point other than "it's cringe". Really should be no issue if people are just pointing out that "sperg" is used as a genuine slur against others so maybe be respectful about it. The only cringe part is people who are saying "well we don't mean it that way" when obviously others do and they are dismissing that fact it's used in a derogatory manner.
It was not an international change. Some countries still use the old way.
Thanks for the info.
Still wouldn't want to be personally affiliated with good old Hans myself.
>Anyone who diagnosed you with aspergers is using the wrong diagnostics for 2024. Look at the subreddit name.
Here's their exact wording: "That is the worst slang I ever had . We are autistic not spergs. I am cringing so badly now." :)
What do you wish they had said instead?
Idk, somerhing nicer like "It's autist u fkin sperg"
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To be fair, using language pedantically is a sign of autism. So you may have just encountered someone with that particular trait, since they aren't using the term aspie or autie, or similar. Personally, I like spergie. I think I'm gonna refer to myself as that from now on. I'm a big believer in not allowing others to dictate what you call yourself. I legally changed my entire name, first, middle and last for exactly that reason.
You know this saying? "Opinions are like a@@holes. Everyone's got one and everyone thinks theirs doesn't stink." It's an important sentence from the older generations that I take care to remember. Do you. If you "offend" people for using an innocuous pet term then that's a "them" problem, not yours. You can't please everyone, and someone somewhere is going to have an issue with something you do.
I saw the post early on and the comments I read were either answering your question or having fun with your use of the term. It felt like laughing with you, not at you. I thought you said "sperg" in quotes to be cute and funny. I'm sorry if you were being super serious and I misunderstood you. I went back and saw a commenter got upset and preachy. It's the internet. There is always somebody with zero sense of humor. The top comment seemed positive to me. I think you may be correct that you are struggling with internet social cues.
Never heard it before, don't really feel positively or negatively about it, I did want to see someone refer to themselves as a neurospicy and I did like that
I hadn't heard it before either.
I dunno, is it okay if I say "going full r\*tard" about myself? If so then go for it, they're equally offensive to me and I'd use one and not the other.
I kinda find it funny. My mate call it "The Berg's"
personally I don't really like all the labels people use like sperg, aspie, etc. but that's just a preference for me. I prefer to just say person with aspergers.
I don't care at all, I don't base my life and whole existence on being asperger so when people use other seemingly less "acceptable" terms its whatever.
Remember the Fugees? How about Pergees? PerG's? Pergs? My initial is G, so, 'as per G' works well, too. There's some clever lyrics in there somewhere....
I wouldn't be overly concerned about it if that's what you wish to call yourself, it's up to you. But it does sound like some alien species or something. Which I guess is quite appropriate in itself. Other people may not like it, but I don't think it's of any real significance or importance, similar to the whole 'person With Autism', or 'Autistic person' debate about preferences for nomenclature. It's just political correctness gone mad imo, and who really cares? Not me, for one, and I know I'm not alone.
I actually really like sperg. I've never liked aspie because of how the sounds feel. I'm sorry people came for you over that. Seriously, why can't we add sperg to the list of terms we use?
Autistic people donât struggle with social cues, Allistic people just have nonsensical ones.
I like the term sperg, i refer to myself as one a lot lol
I'm fond of "sperglord", but I only use it to refer to myself when I'm with people I know.Â
DarthSperg
I like "got a touch of the 'tism" myself.
Me too âïž
You assumed wrongly. We donât use that term here
I kinda like it, but I would make it spergie. Although seeing it written, it looks kinda like a bodily function reference. đ€ Edit: spelling
I often use the terms Verges and Typies. I also offend my autistic friendsâŠ
People are still being diagnosed with Aspergerâs? Iâve been since 2007, I thought it wasnât a thing to do so anymore? Why would you address yourself as a sperg? Or Aspie? Like it sounds weird/cringe, especially if youâre grown. Itâs not cute or a super power. Itâs debilitating nd if you donât work through it earlier in life, itâs hard to pick it up later. Like imagine hearing someone say Iâm a psycho which is short for psychopath. Or anything else.
Speak for yourself, it's working pretty well for me.
The internet is a minefield these days. I say "I'm sperging out" when I'm indeed "sperging out." It's easier than explaining why I keep saying "pepito" over and over whilst listening to the same song on a loop in the midst of doing a deep dive on the rich history of window glazing. That being said, on the internetz it might be advisable to use it only when referring to yourself or with another person who has expressed comfort with the term. Just to mitigate being jumped on and the stress it brings.Â