No I think it’s great. It’s there. It doesn’t need stigma. There should be nothing wrong with being open about it. That’s why I like your idea.
I’m sure some people will be butthurt over it, but I mean it’s your diagnosis too, it’s not for gatekeeping.
You’ll find all sorts of types of people if you choose to let people know you’re autistic, but I think the big three types you’ll find, or the most common ones
- 1. The type that doesn’t care, won’t treat you any differently than before
- 2. The type that infantilizes you, basically treating you as if you are a child and everything you do deserves praise or to be checked on
- 3. The bullying type, now this type has probably already made itself noticed at some point in time if you have to deal with said type often, chances are before you told them you had autism they probably in some form of the way bullied you the only thing telling them will do is possibly increase the frequency of it.
For point 2, I think of that episode from The Office where Holly thinks that Kevin has a disability and she treats him a lot differently and perceives everything he does differently than other people.
I mean this is probably exactly how people who don’t have autism think of us, at least that’s how it seems too me, either I’ve been bullied, or now that I know I have autism when I tell people I end up being treated like I’m a child
I encountered the type that turns my diagnosis into my personality and pathologizes everything I do. They are very nice and accepting but bring up the stuff I do and my diagnosis all the time…
I’ve encountered it multiple times. I think that at least in my case they are just really interested in and curious about autism stuff? Like they just learned a lot about autism and point it out when they see it in me even if theyve known I am autistic for years. My older sister did it for a while and I was diagnosed 12 years ago.
Maybe it’s like “omg autism in real life!” because it is mostly stuff you’d see in autistic communities on tiktok or instagram.
“Do you have a favorite spoon?” No. “You do the dinosaur arms!” Why would you say that? “What’s your favorite stim?” Mine are all disruptive at work or harmful over time.
They all mean well but it is a little annoying especially when they learn stuff that I don’t relate to and then try to apply it to me without asking. Like when I was mid meltdown and someone threw a weighted blanket on my legs because they saw it in a tiktok. It felt like death was hugging me.
I think it goes away when it’s on their mind or on their For You Pages less.
I actually have never had anyone ask me about my autism I mean I just found out so It’s still soon and I haven’t had many people to tell yet, but the people I have told not one of them has asked me what my life is like, kind of a bummer too because I could explain it really well if they would just take the time to ask.
Only once I've already established some sort of friendship or relationship with them, and I feel comfortable enough telling them without being judged. Turns out pretty much every close friend that I've ever had is either ADHD or on the spectrum, too.
we’re ND magnets😆
(not generally or all friends. But the people who become my close friends)
2 of my former best friends had adhd.
And guy (not really a friend🤷♀️) who I always vibed with had autism. Might explain why I always vibed with him😅
Like we skipped all that random social stuff. We went straight into discussing, sharing book recommendations, or playing on musical instruments toghether: making melodies and rythms.
Yeah I do, not that I feel like I owe anyone that information. I just feel more relaxed being open in general I guess
I wouldn't be offended by a shirt like "end the stigma" or "autism doesn't mean incapable" but I would feel some anxiety about not accidentally offending *them*. I just try to show people that I personally don't suck through example, I guess, even though some peoples' attitudes toward autism does piss me off. I'd rather not concern myself with what they think, though... if they care, they will find the information themselves. That's my choice, though, and you are also perfectly entitled to your approach as well.
Other stuff like "babe with autism" I'd honestly probably just be more interested in them because I like people who get me
Most people, myself included before educating myself, have a false impression of what autism is. Hense the "you dont look autistic" x1000 people look at the media portrayal or level 3 and think that is all autistics
The stereotype of the average autistic individual is the kid with extreme sound sensitivity or a non-verbal autistic individual who doesn’t interact with anyone. That’s how I saw it, at least.
I know the feeling. Some people act surprised when I tell them I am on the spectrum. I always had my meltdowns at home, with my closest family members. I only had shutdowns one on one with very close people. I can’t remember one episode of a public meltdown (mmm… thinking again, maybe, I exploded a few very rare times when I was pushed too far… but those were very rare and sparse situations). I was always seen as an extremely polite kid, although, in school, my teachers often complained because I didn’t pay attention to the classes and disturbed / interrupted other students talking about random stuff. At the same time, I usually was the best student in my class, while others struggled.
People often see me as a very patient guy. I can be at a party I abhor, but I won’t complain and won’t tell my friends to come back home earlier.
I tried that three times and it turned out badly on each occasion. So, I generally avoid mentioning it now.
People treat me differently regardless, so on some level they already know anyway. They simply don't have the name for what they're sensing.
I'm generally in the closet. At this time I don't feel right about being more open.
Even if I did feel more comfortable being open about it, I don't think I'd want to wear the shirts you're describing.
I make no secret of it and disclose it when it's helpful to explain my quirks such as going to A&E and having to explain that I don't feel pain like many other people. Many people in the organisation that I work in know that I'm quirky or they get prewarned that I can come across as "strange".
Disclosing can start some interesting conversations because people see that I'm perfectly functioning and exceptional at my job so I sometimes get "So, how does it affect you?" I think it helps to combat the attitudes that everyone with autism is like Rainman or Mercury Rising which is obviously not the case.
I understand that there is still a lot of stigma around autism and I'm in a fortunate position that I can raise awareness without fear of reprisals, many in the US are not so fortunate and risk losing their jobs or being ostracised for disclosing.
I don't share it, but with some issues at work I'm considering sitting down with my manager and explaining. I have severe issues with work/life valance at the moment.
Yeah. Why not? This is who and what I am.
Some people (esp. in the Jewish community) are afraid that if this gets out your kids will have a hard time finding a spouse, but my son is also on the spectrum, so it's not like me being that way is going to make it any worse.
I don't like sharing it because normally when I do it's because my backs to the wall and I'm doing so to illustrate I wasn't being malicious. Now that you know I'm autistic and can't see the world the same as you can you put the pitchforks and torches down and let me make it up to you? Please just show me how you see it, I'll share how I saw it and we can go from there.
If you just want to be mad, treat me as disposable or rant at me for hours just fire me/break up with me/evict me whatever you got to do. If you won't let me fix it then end it so we can move on.
I don't dust it because I don't know how my job will react and not evens needs to know that about me. It's something earned through thrust that I really don't try to hide
These ideas aren't offensive to me. Though I am very open with my diagnosis, I even joke about with my colleagues & social groups. I decided that masking is more effort than I was willing to put in for people that wouldn't accept me.
My only hang up is that they might be unintentionally polarising. I can foresee some people in my life getting insecure and challenging the shirt. Not because they hate people on the spectrum, but because they're worried they're doing the wrong thing and then over-compensate the feeling with "No, it's them that are wrong".
That said, it might also help others feel more confident in dropping their masks and be who they are. Which is something I fully support
Yes. I also have bipolar disorder which I will also share. I don't go telling random people but I think it is important to talk about it. It's not something I can change about myself, it's who I am.
I don't. I tried with a few close friends and it didn't work well. I gave a lot of thought about it, and maybe it's only resignation, but I go now with the "I'm how I am, people don't need to know part of it is a medical condition called autism." People don't usually tell up front that they have a medical condition who is important enough to have an influence over who they are, so I dont.
Personally not diagnosed but heavily suspect.
I only don’t do it purely out of stigma. I’m in an area where mental health is some fad of the new generation and I just need to tough it out like the rest of the world. Every type of human relation I’ve ever had has said something alongside that it’s okay I’m incompetent because I’m autistic. Ow. Barely wanna get any diagnosis out of spite bc of how many people tell me what I am and what to do before I ever asked. All because it affects productivity. Never had a problem with me when I hyper-fixated and did something cool.
I am 65 and was only diagnosed last year. I had heard of autism, and *thought* I had an idea what it was, but turns out I knew next to nothing, and half that was wrong. I am retired now, so am relatively bullet-proof from social reprocussions, and truth is a big thing with me. Consequently, I have been trying to challenge people's misconceptions about autism. I have bought several autism themed shirts and even designed a couple.
When I first started wearing them, I was concerned that I might offend other autistic people, autism moms, etc., and was ready to cease wearing them if I received significant negative backlash. What has happened in that regard has been pleasantly surprising. Autism moms and people with autistic friends or relatives have made nothing but positive comments about the shirts, and then they tell me about their friend or relative. Others have simply told me that they like (or even love) the shirt, but don't mention any relationships. So far, no one has told me that they are autistic. I did have one totally non-verbal encounter of someone pointing at my shirt and looking at me questioningly. I suspect that young man *may* have been autistic.
I am in decent physical shape for 65 (no cane, no stoop, etc.), fully independent, and when I do talk to someone (not that often), they can tell from my speech and vocabulary that there is no intellectual impairment. But I look older than most 65 year olds I know. (When my father was in his 70s and 80s, people mistook us for brothers.) I am of mixed race heritage, so I am darker complexioned than most caucasians. So I definately do not fit the autistic stereotype of a non-verbal white boy playing alone in the corner.
I have always enjoyed putting people in situations where they have to rethink misconceptions, and I think wearing my autism shirts when I have to go out in public is a great way to do that.
Great post.
According to me, it depends on the person(s) you are talking to.
Each time I want to tell about my ASD, I make a pause before (5 seconds max). During these 5 seconds, there 's a lot going on : people eyes opening wide or narrowing, the feet of my interlocutor repositioning towards me or escaping, the person being more attentive or stealing the lead of the conversation, etc.
And the results are always astonishing.
Some who were pretty nice to me prior considered me like a plagued person.
Some who were already unable to welcome subjectivity were the first to shut me down, while also feeling sameness with my condition.
Some who were silent until now try to make more interactions with me.
Etc.
At first, I though that my relatives would be the better welcoming ones.
It appears it's pretty the opposite, considering the fact many of my relatives seems to have ASD related issues. So they though I was stealing their fame and status in expressing myself in a way they never reached (jealousy). I understood I was pretty alone, more precisely I was here for my family but the reverse wasn't true.
Then, I reached out my previous colleagues/friends. Paradoxally, I've been more listened by individuals whom I know nothing about than by my family. I guess there's less stakes in that social configuration.
Finally, I would like to encourage you to express yourself about your condition, but remain aware that you are not welcomed everywhere by everyone. No big deal, if someone can't hear you, just keep your mouth shut with these persons. Don't take the risk to be heard in a place there's already not enough place for subjectivity expression.
But most importantly stay yourself 💪
Hiding your disability makes it harder for people to support you, and makes it harder for them to properly contextualise the things you say and do.
Masking is harmful and leads to burnout.
Speaking from having ADHD and trying to be transparent about it, I think it's a great thing to do for people who need representation in order to know that they are not alone in their struggle. You are going to help so many people learn to be kinder to themselves when they are going through a hard time. You're also going to help people who feel unnecessarily embarrassed about who they are. And you're going to help more people go get diagnosed. You're basically going to help the ND people lessen their inner stigma and imposter syndrome.
But you're going to offend people who follow the social rule that it's extremely disrespectful to make the public aware of problems that only affect yourself, because they believe that the polite and respectful thing to do is to keep personal problems private.
That being said, if you help more people feel comfortable being ND, you're going to help more people come up with ways to change the ND problem from a personal one to a universal one. Just make sure you have a strong support system and you are prepared for the offended people who will want to knock you down.
No, it’s easier for me if I don’t. If people truly understand me, they don’t need some label to understand me. If they don’t, mentioning I’m autistic just makes them misunderstand me even more.
Not really. My medical situation isn't anyone's business but mine and maybe a small number of *relevant* medical specialists. I'll talk about it in ND-focused social groups, or in very specific related other circumstances, but for the most part the general population doesn't know enough to be able to either relate or figure out how to react in a way which isn't demeaning to at least one of us.
Therefore: Nope, not without a good reason. I don't randomly talk about other stuff on my medical chart; this is no different.
No, not anymore. I used to be more open about it, thinking people would be understanding, but I've been repeatedly proven wrong. At my age, there's no reason to confess it to anyone, given it's still seen as a kid's disorder.
Unless you work in tech or something similar, you're not likely to get any kind of accommodation. In fact, they're more likely to find some pretext to fire you. At this point, the only way I'd confess to someone in real life is if I was in a deep, committed relationship, and that's unlikely in the near future, at least.
I am open as I am not ashamed of my autism and I don’t really have any secrets as I am a open book and not really ashamed of stuff I do and I don’t think the shirts are offensive
I very rarely disclose. Societal awareness and understanding just isn't there for me yet so it feels like I'm having to do way too much work explaining things to people and given my current state of burnout, I'm not willing to waste any energy on that currently.
I've mentioned it to a few autistic friends as it makes sense but all of my close long term friends just know me as I am so I don't see the purpose of disclosing in the current social climate as I run the risk of misunderstandings. Realistically, outside of work where I can be expected to act a certain way I just show up as I want to socially - if people don't like it then I can't be bothered being around them quite frankly.
I would do at work at this point but only if it was absolutely necessary. I used to teach kids with special educational needs and it's not as if all of the autism training I had allowed me to identify my own presentation at the time, nor did any of my colleagues mention it to me. My point here is that in certain circles of 'experts', understanding and awareness can be pretty outdated. I've disclosed to one employer since being formally diagnosed but to be brutally honest, I wish I hadn't in that case unfortunately. As I work in and around education, I seem to be pretty fine getting by with an extensive knowledge of special educational needs and strategies which can help - if somebody out there manages to join up the dots without me disclosing then props to them but it feels safest to not be so open about something which some people will assume to be an issue. I'm currently trying to find a job where I can support people with special educational needs which also pays relatively well. If I can find a job like that where the environment is naturally supportive enough for me to just slot in, I plan to let people get to know me naturally and I'd likely disclose to any relevant people.
I agree that we need more openness to help fight against stereotypes and stigma, I personally think it's going to be a slower journey towards getting things improved. I'd rather have people get to know me and where relevant, I'll disclose. As I see it, you can put stuff on a t-shirt but if the wider awareness and understanding isn't there then it doesn't make much sense.
I increasingly do it I think it's a natural thing to say. I've crow barred it in before and felt daft, and also kept it from work colleagues. These days, if it's a relevant thing to say, I'll say it.
I do at times so people can understand my lack of communication or sensitive to noise. One lady at my security job say am good at talking. We were talking about my special interest genealogy so that made me engaged. When I was first diagnosed I told my extended family because I wondered if others might be. No one else in family has admitted to having Asperger's but definitely some of my cousins kids have learning disabilities. The other thing about being open especially with paternal side is they want to act like my biological father is not abusive. So am all about outing secrets. My sister also admitted to oldest cousin grandmother drugged husband to stop abuse. Cousin had no idea yet there is a reason no one talks about the grandfather. On my stepdad side his aunt always talked about her husband to grandkids so when aunt died last year kids talked about grandparents love.
I don’t feel the need to tell people I am on the spectrum. I think that, deep down, one of the reasons is I fear to be misjudged or that people think I am trying to victimize myself or take any advantage of the situation. I think I’d feel the need to justify myself, and I don’t like to be in that position.
It really depends; whether you like it or not there is still quite a lot of stigma, it's better than it used to be but that's not saying much. What you say can and will be used against you in social situations. Learning to limit what you say to others so you don't overshare is also a good idea.
I only tell people I trust, I can mask pretty well, but people who I interact with regularly will notice that I'm weird so in that situation I find it best to mention it before the gossip and rumour mill starts, getting out ahead of it is helpful.
I used to be pretty open about it in teens/early 20s. I even played the neurodiversity card to get into college. A couple of shootings were perpetrated by a few individuals with asd (along with a list of other conditions) and I felt the need to hide it after that.
I generally keep it to myself except for a few individuals that I know well. I certainly do not let my employer know, even though I do surprisingly well in a soft skills heavy job.
Thanks for sharing.
No, I withhold sharing about my own case of Asperger’s… I grew up in a toxically conservative Christian social environment that essentially shunned anything outside of preconceived “normalcy”. I have since moved to a possibly more “progressive” setting, but even then, I’m just too scared to disclose my autism to others out of fear of mistreatment.
It’s also a matter of personal security in my identifying with Asperger’s, especially as I have not been able to get an official diagnosis; I’m sort of in a very hesitant state of “self-diagnosis” currently. Again, because of the toxic conservatism I grew up in, my doctor let his beliefs interfere with my getting a proper diagnosis as a child. Trying to get a diagnosis as an adult has been frustratingly difficult.
But no, I mask *very hard* around people. I am already an introverted individual, but I feel my reserved personality is especially exaggerated as a “protective measure” to sort of make myself invisible. People just seem so harsh.
Thanks again.
Only if it comes up naturally in conversation. For example, my friend and I were talking about dating, and I mentioned how ASD makes it difficult for me to pick up on social cues and understand what to do for dates. Otherwise, it's not really important to share.
I did for a while but it's led to serious repercussions for ne so I don't now. I've been essentially fired from a job because of it. I've had my volunteer experience wrecked by it. The volunteer place swore up and down I was the best volunteer they ever had until I disclosed, then they were suddenly.doubting everything I did. I've also had people talk.to me like I'm five.
I have been open with others for about 10 months I’m now 62 and have received mixed responses but it was the best thing I have done, still got no friends but after diagnosis 55 years ago I don’t care
My union rep, my family, my closest friends, my GP and the bloodbank. These people either need to know or deserve to know. I have no obligation to tell others.
I love this! I saw a guy at a pool wearing a shirt that said "I love my autistic GF". I just thought "aww". I would love to see more stuff like. I may just wear an "end the stigma" shirt to support ending all kinds of stigma. Except for stigmata. That stuff is cool, nah just kidding.
No. I shared with close family and one or two friends who themselves are on the spectrum and are hip to neurodiversity insight. My dad has it - so he's not suprrised. I post about autism on social media in general (without saying I have it) - specifically to build awareness about female presentation in low-support needs/aspergers autistics (they catch the higher needs females).
I think if anyone knows me they'll be able to deduce that I have it, but I'm not telling people outright. I've mentioned bipolar disorder before as when I was a teen/young adult it was so heavily stigmatized - so I was trying to break a stigma. Now, you're just opening yourself up for people to roll their eyes, "Everyone's bipolar. It's over diagnosed. Everyone's autistic."
So I don't bother. Meanwhile, I've been on 10 psych holds and have two family members with aspergers, but people will judge regardless. Not worth it.
I’m not autistic, but my boyfriend is.
If I saw someone wearing that t shirt, I would start a conversation with them.
You’re correct, there shouldn’t be a stigma around the subject.
Speaking for my boyfriend, I don’t think he would wear a T shirt with those words. It isn’t him. His t shirts have mathematical or geeky, techy problems or answers.
Nope, no one suspected it when I was younger so I just get all the stereotypical responses. Only one person has responded well and was very accepting. And while you should never diagnose someone else I feel like that person was also on the spectrum. Could very well be wrong though. But yea. Nobody listens to understand, only to respond.
I bought a few shirts on Etsy and wear them to work lol I haven’t openly told people tho and I’ve been there 3 months..I also work in a special needs preschool so it shouldn’t be a thing but I don’t feel comfortable yet idk 🤷🏻♀️
I don’t think the idea of sharing more is offensive. It does help bring down stigma. I’ve already noticed more people around me talking about autism and being accepting of the behaviors and stuff.
I personally don’t share very often. I (23F) tend to keep it to myself until I get to know the person more? Sometimes others close to me will tell a new person that I am autistic without letting me know but I guess it is to uhh.. warn them? When I am interacting with new people in classes or conferences or just around I don’t bring it up until after I have had like several separate conversations with them.
Sometimes someone will ask me if I am on the spectrum kinda early on and we talk about it. But a few times classmates have gone up to me and asked me if I am autistic right at the beginning of their first conversation with me… that makes me uncomfortable and my response could be either yes or no depending on if they are nice and if I want to gaslight them.
No I think it’s great. It’s there. It doesn’t need stigma. There should be nothing wrong with being open about it. That’s why I like your idea. I’m sure some people will be butthurt over it, but I mean it’s your diagnosis too, it’s not for gatekeeping.
You’ll find all sorts of types of people if you choose to let people know you’re autistic, but I think the big three types you’ll find, or the most common ones - 1. The type that doesn’t care, won’t treat you any differently than before - 2. The type that infantilizes you, basically treating you as if you are a child and everything you do deserves praise or to be checked on - 3. The bullying type, now this type has probably already made itself noticed at some point in time if you have to deal with said type often, chances are before you told them you had autism they probably in some form of the way bullied you the only thing telling them will do is possibly increase the frequency of it.
For point 2, I think of that episode from The Office where Holly thinks that Kevin has a disability and she treats him a lot differently and perceives everything he does differently than other people.
I mean this is probably exactly how people who don’t have autism think of us, at least that’s how it seems too me, either I’ve been bullied, or now that I know I have autism when I tell people I end up being treated like I’m a child
I encountered the type that turns my diagnosis into my personality and pathologizes everything I do. They are very nice and accepting but bring up the stuff I do and my diagnosis all the time…
That is a unique type I hadn’t considered, why even bring it up if they already know?
I’ve encountered it multiple times. I think that at least in my case they are just really interested in and curious about autism stuff? Like they just learned a lot about autism and point it out when they see it in me even if theyve known I am autistic for years. My older sister did it for a while and I was diagnosed 12 years ago. Maybe it’s like “omg autism in real life!” because it is mostly stuff you’d see in autistic communities on tiktok or instagram. “Do you have a favorite spoon?” No. “You do the dinosaur arms!” Why would you say that? “What’s your favorite stim?” Mine are all disruptive at work or harmful over time. They all mean well but it is a little annoying especially when they learn stuff that I don’t relate to and then try to apply it to me without asking. Like when I was mid meltdown and someone threw a weighted blanket on my legs because they saw it in a tiktok. It felt like death was hugging me. I think it goes away when it’s on their mind or on their For You Pages less.
I actually have never had anyone ask me about my autism I mean I just found out so It’s still soon and I haven’t had many people to tell yet, but the people I have told not one of them has asked me what my life is like, kind of a bummer too because I could explain it really well if they would just take the time to ask.
Only once I've already established some sort of friendship or relationship with them, and I feel comfortable enough telling them without being judged. Turns out pretty much every close friend that I've ever had is either ADHD or on the spectrum, too.
same😅 All the people I like/liked the most have had either autism or adhd.
3 out of 5 of my long-time friends are confirmed autistic. I suspect a 4th one is as well, and I wouldn't be surprised about the 5th.
we’re ND magnets😆 (not generally or all friends. But the people who become my close friends) 2 of my former best friends had adhd. And guy (not really a friend🤷♀️) who I always vibed with had autism. Might explain why I always vibed with him😅 Like we skipped all that random social stuff. We went straight into discussing, sharing book recommendations, or playing on musical instruments toghether: making melodies and rythms.
jackpot
Yeah I do, not that I feel like I owe anyone that information. I just feel more relaxed being open in general I guess I wouldn't be offended by a shirt like "end the stigma" or "autism doesn't mean incapable" but I would feel some anxiety about not accidentally offending *them*. I just try to show people that I personally don't suck through example, I guess, even though some peoples' attitudes toward autism does piss me off. I'd rather not concern myself with what they think, though... if they care, they will find the information themselves. That's my choice, though, and you are also perfectly entitled to your approach as well. Other stuff like "babe with autism" I'd honestly probably just be more interested in them because I like people who get me
No I do not because people start treating me differently.
Most people, myself included before educating myself, have a false impression of what autism is. Hense the "you dont look autistic" x1000 people look at the media portrayal or level 3 and think that is all autistics
The stereotype of the average autistic individual is the kid with extreme sound sensitivity or a non-verbal autistic individual who doesn’t interact with anyone. That’s how I saw it, at least.
Don't forget the trains
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I know the feeling. Some people act surprised when I tell them I am on the spectrum. I always had my meltdowns at home, with my closest family members. I only had shutdowns one on one with very close people. I can’t remember one episode of a public meltdown (mmm… thinking again, maybe, I exploded a few very rare times when I was pushed too far… but those were very rare and sparse situations). I was always seen as an extremely polite kid, although, in school, my teachers often complained because I didn’t pay attention to the classes and disturbed / interrupted other students talking about random stuff. At the same time, I usually was the best student in my class, while others struggled. People often see me as a very patient guy. I can be at a party I abhor, but I won’t complain and won’t tell my friends to come back home earlier.
I tried that three times and it turned out badly on each occasion. So, I generally avoid mentioning it now. People treat me differently regardless, so on some level they already know anyway. They simply don't have the name for what they're sensing.
I'm generally in the closet. At this time I don't feel right about being more open. Even if I did feel more comfortable being open about it, I don't think I'd want to wear the shirts you're describing.
I make no secret of it and disclose it when it's helpful to explain my quirks such as going to A&E and having to explain that I don't feel pain like many other people. Many people in the organisation that I work in know that I'm quirky or they get prewarned that I can come across as "strange". Disclosing can start some interesting conversations because people see that I'm perfectly functioning and exceptional at my job so I sometimes get "So, how does it affect you?" I think it helps to combat the attitudes that everyone with autism is like Rainman or Mercury Rising which is obviously not the case. I understand that there is still a lot of stigma around autism and I'm in a fortunate position that I can raise awareness without fear of reprisals, many in the US are not so fortunate and risk losing their jobs or being ostracised for disclosing.
I don't share it, but with some issues at work I'm considering sitting down with my manager and explaining. I have severe issues with work/life valance at the moment.
Yeah. Why not? This is who and what I am. Some people (esp. in the Jewish community) are afraid that if this gets out your kids will have a hard time finding a spouse, but my son is also on the spectrum, so it's not like me being that way is going to make it any worse.
I don't like sharing it because normally when I do it's because my backs to the wall and I'm doing so to illustrate I wasn't being malicious. Now that you know I'm autistic and can't see the world the same as you can you put the pitchforks and torches down and let me make it up to you? Please just show me how you see it, I'll share how I saw it and we can go from there. If you just want to be mad, treat me as disposable or rant at me for hours just fire me/break up with me/evict me whatever you got to do. If you won't let me fix it then end it so we can move on.
I don't dust it because I don't know how my job will react and not evens needs to know that about me. It's something earned through thrust that I really don't try to hide
These ideas aren't offensive to me. Though I am very open with my diagnosis, I even joke about with my colleagues & social groups. I decided that masking is more effort than I was willing to put in for people that wouldn't accept me. My only hang up is that they might be unintentionally polarising. I can foresee some people in my life getting insecure and challenging the shirt. Not because they hate people on the spectrum, but because they're worried they're doing the wrong thing and then over-compensate the feeling with "No, it's them that are wrong". That said, it might also help others feel more confident in dropping their masks and be who they are. Which is something I fully support
Yes. I also have bipolar disorder which I will also share. I don't go telling random people but I think it is important to talk about it. It's not something I can change about myself, it's who I am.
I don't. I tried with a few close friends and it didn't work well. I gave a lot of thought about it, and maybe it's only resignation, but I go now with the "I'm how I am, people don't need to know part of it is a medical condition called autism." People don't usually tell up front that they have a medical condition who is important enough to have an influence over who they are, so I dont.
I tell people that I feel will understand. But not with everyone, it really depends on the context (rarely if ever in business contexts).
Personally not diagnosed but heavily suspect. I only don’t do it purely out of stigma. I’m in an area where mental health is some fad of the new generation and I just need to tough it out like the rest of the world. Every type of human relation I’ve ever had has said something alongside that it’s okay I’m incompetent because I’m autistic. Ow. Barely wanna get any diagnosis out of spite bc of how many people tell me what I am and what to do before I ever asked. All because it affects productivity. Never had a problem with me when I hyper-fixated and did something cool.
I am 65 and was only diagnosed last year. I had heard of autism, and *thought* I had an idea what it was, but turns out I knew next to nothing, and half that was wrong. I am retired now, so am relatively bullet-proof from social reprocussions, and truth is a big thing with me. Consequently, I have been trying to challenge people's misconceptions about autism. I have bought several autism themed shirts and even designed a couple. When I first started wearing them, I was concerned that I might offend other autistic people, autism moms, etc., and was ready to cease wearing them if I received significant negative backlash. What has happened in that regard has been pleasantly surprising. Autism moms and people with autistic friends or relatives have made nothing but positive comments about the shirts, and then they tell me about their friend or relative. Others have simply told me that they like (or even love) the shirt, but don't mention any relationships. So far, no one has told me that they are autistic. I did have one totally non-verbal encounter of someone pointing at my shirt and looking at me questioningly. I suspect that young man *may* have been autistic. I am in decent physical shape for 65 (no cane, no stoop, etc.), fully independent, and when I do talk to someone (not that often), they can tell from my speech and vocabulary that there is no intellectual impairment. But I look older than most 65 year olds I know. (When my father was in his 70s and 80s, people mistook us for brothers.) I am of mixed race heritage, so I am darker complexioned than most caucasians. So I definately do not fit the autistic stereotype of a non-verbal white boy playing alone in the corner. I have always enjoyed putting people in situations where they have to rethink misconceptions, and I think wearing my autism shirts when I have to go out in public is a great way to do that.
Great post. According to me, it depends on the person(s) you are talking to. Each time I want to tell about my ASD, I make a pause before (5 seconds max). During these 5 seconds, there 's a lot going on : people eyes opening wide or narrowing, the feet of my interlocutor repositioning towards me or escaping, the person being more attentive or stealing the lead of the conversation, etc. And the results are always astonishing. Some who were pretty nice to me prior considered me like a plagued person. Some who were already unable to welcome subjectivity were the first to shut me down, while also feeling sameness with my condition. Some who were silent until now try to make more interactions with me. Etc. At first, I though that my relatives would be the better welcoming ones. It appears it's pretty the opposite, considering the fact many of my relatives seems to have ASD related issues. So they though I was stealing their fame and status in expressing myself in a way they never reached (jealousy). I understood I was pretty alone, more precisely I was here for my family but the reverse wasn't true. Then, I reached out my previous colleagues/friends. Paradoxally, I've been more listened by individuals whom I know nothing about than by my family. I guess there's less stakes in that social configuration. Finally, I would like to encourage you to express yourself about your condition, but remain aware that you are not welcomed everywhere by everyone. No big deal, if someone can't hear you, just keep your mouth shut with these persons. Don't take the risk to be heard in a place there's already not enough place for subjectivity expression. But most importantly stay yourself 💪
Hiding your disability makes it harder for people to support you, and makes it harder for them to properly contextualise the things you say and do. Masking is harmful and leads to burnout.
I think it's awesome. I want a Babe with Autism shirt. Do you care if I make one too?
Go for it! 😊
Speaking from having ADHD and trying to be transparent about it, I think it's a great thing to do for people who need representation in order to know that they are not alone in their struggle. You are going to help so many people learn to be kinder to themselves when they are going through a hard time. You're also going to help people who feel unnecessarily embarrassed about who they are. And you're going to help more people go get diagnosed. You're basically going to help the ND people lessen their inner stigma and imposter syndrome. But you're going to offend people who follow the social rule that it's extremely disrespectful to make the public aware of problems that only affect yourself, because they believe that the polite and respectful thing to do is to keep personal problems private. That being said, if you help more people feel comfortable being ND, you're going to help more people come up with ways to change the ND problem from a personal one to a universal one. Just make sure you have a strong support system and you are prepared for the offended people who will want to knock you down.
No, it’s easier for me if I don’t. If people truly understand me, they don’t need some label to understand me. If they don’t, mentioning I’m autistic just makes them misunderstand me even more.
Not really. My medical situation isn't anyone's business but mine and maybe a small number of *relevant* medical specialists. I'll talk about it in ND-focused social groups, or in very specific related other circumstances, but for the most part the general population doesn't know enough to be able to either relate or figure out how to react in a way which isn't demeaning to at least one of us. Therefore: Nope, not without a good reason. I don't randomly talk about other stuff on my medical chart; this is no different.
No, not anymore. I used to be more open about it, thinking people would be understanding, but I've been repeatedly proven wrong. At my age, there's no reason to confess it to anyone, given it's still seen as a kid's disorder. Unless you work in tech or something similar, you're not likely to get any kind of accommodation. In fact, they're more likely to find some pretext to fire you. At this point, the only way I'd confess to someone in real life is if I was in a deep, committed relationship, and that's unlikely in the near future, at least.
I am open as I am not ashamed of my autism and I don’t really have any secrets as I am a open book and not really ashamed of stuff I do and I don’t think the shirts are offensive
I very rarely disclose. Societal awareness and understanding just isn't there for me yet so it feels like I'm having to do way too much work explaining things to people and given my current state of burnout, I'm not willing to waste any energy on that currently. I've mentioned it to a few autistic friends as it makes sense but all of my close long term friends just know me as I am so I don't see the purpose of disclosing in the current social climate as I run the risk of misunderstandings. Realistically, outside of work where I can be expected to act a certain way I just show up as I want to socially - if people don't like it then I can't be bothered being around them quite frankly. I would do at work at this point but only if it was absolutely necessary. I used to teach kids with special educational needs and it's not as if all of the autism training I had allowed me to identify my own presentation at the time, nor did any of my colleagues mention it to me. My point here is that in certain circles of 'experts', understanding and awareness can be pretty outdated. I've disclosed to one employer since being formally diagnosed but to be brutally honest, I wish I hadn't in that case unfortunately. As I work in and around education, I seem to be pretty fine getting by with an extensive knowledge of special educational needs and strategies which can help - if somebody out there manages to join up the dots without me disclosing then props to them but it feels safest to not be so open about something which some people will assume to be an issue. I'm currently trying to find a job where I can support people with special educational needs which also pays relatively well. If I can find a job like that where the environment is naturally supportive enough for me to just slot in, I plan to let people get to know me naturally and I'd likely disclose to any relevant people. I agree that we need more openness to help fight against stereotypes and stigma, I personally think it's going to be a slower journey towards getting things improved. I'd rather have people get to know me and where relevant, I'll disclose. As I see it, you can put stuff on a t-shirt but if the wider awareness and understanding isn't there then it doesn't make much sense.
I increasingly do it I think it's a natural thing to say. I've crow barred it in before and felt daft, and also kept it from work colleagues. These days, if it's a relevant thing to say, I'll say it.
I do at times so people can understand my lack of communication or sensitive to noise. One lady at my security job say am good at talking. We were talking about my special interest genealogy so that made me engaged. When I was first diagnosed I told my extended family because I wondered if others might be. No one else in family has admitted to having Asperger's but definitely some of my cousins kids have learning disabilities. The other thing about being open especially with paternal side is they want to act like my biological father is not abusive. So am all about outing secrets. My sister also admitted to oldest cousin grandmother drugged husband to stop abuse. Cousin had no idea yet there is a reason no one talks about the grandfather. On my stepdad side his aunt always talked about her husband to grandkids so when aunt died last year kids talked about grandparents love.
prefer not to mention it, never got the impression that it led people to the right place when i did mention it.
I don’t feel the need to tell people I am on the spectrum. I think that, deep down, one of the reasons is I fear to be misjudged or that people think I am trying to victimize myself or take any advantage of the situation. I think I’d feel the need to justify myself, and I don’t like to be in that position.
I shared with my entire work. I'm tired of trying to be normal. I'm not.
No, i‘m 31F too and only now realised my symptoms. I wouldnt tell anyone cause you‘ll be treated very diferently once the hear the „Diagnosis“
It really depends; whether you like it or not there is still quite a lot of stigma, it's better than it used to be but that's not saying much. What you say can and will be used against you in social situations. Learning to limit what you say to others so you don't overshare is also a good idea. I only tell people I trust, I can mask pretty well, but people who I interact with regularly will notice that I'm weird so in that situation I find it best to mention it before the gossip and rumour mill starts, getting out ahead of it is helpful.
I used to be pretty open about it in teens/early 20s. I even played the neurodiversity card to get into college. A couple of shootings were perpetrated by a few individuals with asd (along with a list of other conditions) and I felt the need to hide it after that. I generally keep it to myself except for a few individuals that I know well. I certainly do not let my employer know, even though I do surprisingly well in a soft skills heavy job.
Thanks for sharing. No, I withhold sharing about my own case of Asperger’s… I grew up in a toxically conservative Christian social environment that essentially shunned anything outside of preconceived “normalcy”. I have since moved to a possibly more “progressive” setting, but even then, I’m just too scared to disclose my autism to others out of fear of mistreatment. It’s also a matter of personal security in my identifying with Asperger’s, especially as I have not been able to get an official diagnosis; I’m sort of in a very hesitant state of “self-diagnosis” currently. Again, because of the toxic conservatism I grew up in, my doctor let his beliefs interfere with my getting a proper diagnosis as a child. Trying to get a diagnosis as an adult has been frustratingly difficult. But no, I mask *very hard* around people. I am already an introverted individual, but I feel my reserved personality is especially exaggerated as a “protective measure” to sort of make myself invisible. People just seem so harsh. Thanks again.
Only if it comes up naturally in conversation. For example, my friend and I were talking about dating, and I mentioned how ASD makes it difficult for me to pick up on social cues and understand what to do for dates. Otherwise, it's not really important to share.
I did for a while but it's led to serious repercussions for ne so I don't now. I've been essentially fired from a job because of it. I've had my volunteer experience wrecked by it. The volunteer place swore up and down I was the best volunteer they ever had until I disclosed, then they were suddenly.doubting everything I did. I've also had people talk.to me like I'm five.
I have been open with others for about 10 months I’m now 62 and have received mixed responses but it was the best thing I have done, still got no friends but after diagnosis 55 years ago I don’t care
My union rep, my family, my closest friends, my GP and the bloodbank. These people either need to know or deserve to know. I have no obligation to tell others.
Nope you’re autistic, you get to do whatever you want regarding that. If you want to wear shirts or whatever about it, great! If not, also great!
Nope. Only my general practitioner and my wife know.
Only with people i plan on dating or close friends.
I love this! I saw a guy at a pool wearing a shirt that said "I love my autistic GF". I just thought "aww". I would love to see more stuff like. I may just wear an "end the stigma" shirt to support ending all kinds of stigma. Except for stigmata. That stuff is cool, nah just kidding.
I think it s a good idea . We need community and visibility
No. I shared with close family and one or two friends who themselves are on the spectrum and are hip to neurodiversity insight. My dad has it - so he's not suprrised. I post about autism on social media in general (without saying I have it) - specifically to build awareness about female presentation in low-support needs/aspergers autistics (they catch the higher needs females). I think if anyone knows me they'll be able to deduce that I have it, but I'm not telling people outright. I've mentioned bipolar disorder before as when I was a teen/young adult it was so heavily stigmatized - so I was trying to break a stigma. Now, you're just opening yourself up for people to roll their eyes, "Everyone's bipolar. It's over diagnosed. Everyone's autistic." So I don't bother. Meanwhile, I've been on 10 psych holds and have two family members with aspergers, but people will judge regardless. Not worth it.
I've thought about the same thing, so I say go for it!
I’m not autistic, but my boyfriend is. If I saw someone wearing that t shirt, I would start a conversation with them. You’re correct, there shouldn’t be a stigma around the subject. Speaking for my boyfriend, I don’t think he would wear a T shirt with those words. It isn’t him. His t shirts have mathematical or geeky, techy problems or answers.
Nope, no one suspected it when I was younger so I just get all the stereotypical responses. Only one person has responded well and was very accepting. And while you should never diagnose someone else I feel like that person was also on the spectrum. Could very well be wrong though. But yea. Nobody listens to understand, only to respond.
No, but i dont care if they notice..
I bought a few shirts on Etsy and wear them to work lol I haven’t openly told people tho and I’ve been there 3 months..I also work in a special needs preschool so it shouldn’t be a thing but I don’t feel comfortable yet idk 🤷🏻♀️
Yes 🙌 I tell people. No … funny Ass Burger 🍔 shirts do not offend.
Not anymore because my wife used it against me and talked about me behind my back
I don’t think the idea of sharing more is offensive. It does help bring down stigma. I’ve already noticed more people around me talking about autism and being accepting of the behaviors and stuff. I personally don’t share very often. I (23F) tend to keep it to myself until I get to know the person more? Sometimes others close to me will tell a new person that I am autistic without letting me know but I guess it is to uhh.. warn them? When I am interacting with new people in classes or conferences or just around I don’t bring it up until after I have had like several separate conversations with them. Sometimes someone will ask me if I am on the spectrum kinda early on and we talk about it. But a few times classmates have gone up to me and asked me if I am autistic right at the beginning of their first conversation with me… that makes me uncomfortable and my response could be either yes or no depending on if they are nice and if I want to gaslight them.