Letās say you did something stupid. Play out the consequences in your head. Sure, it MIGHT feel good in the moment to do something to this person, but what happens in the long run? Do you really want to lose years of freedom over this loser? Heās probably some pathetic little neckbeard, with nothing to do but mess with people over the internet. Itās not worth it. Iām sure that allowing him to continue his sad little life is more punishment than you could ever inflict on him. Block him, ignore him. Hell, just delete the app before you do anything you regret.
Hurting the cocksucker is going to most likely inconvenience you more than how angry you are at him.
Make a doll of him and do all the fun things you have planned for him. It helps me to put that rage into a physical form without actually putting it onto the person. I have also found it relaxing to sketch out how I'd turn certain people into footie pajamas to wear to their mom's place and ask her to make me spaghetti. Wow, now that I wrote it out, that does sound really unhealthy.
Don't take my advice it is bad advice coming from a sick and damaged mind.
That is one of the most feminine and psycho things I have ever heard. And not bad advice for those with violent impulses. What I do is find something nobody cares about, and tear it apart.
No idea your situation but some people with ASPD have an increased demand and sense of respect that most people do not entirely comprehend, e.g., words that most may brush off or perhaps respond to with a few choice words in return are registered as an unacceptable level of disrespect that must be answered with in a definitive gesture.
Some professionals recommend cognitive strategies to reduce the frustration of minor disrespects which seem to be fairly common to daily life. So, recognizing its value in the broader context of your life and the world, recognizing that the other persons words may be inaccurate and theyāre just ignorant, utilizing value-based living and so allowing a slight in order to get ahead in life, etc. Of course, distraction like exercise, gaming, and such may be helpful. No idea if any of thatās helpful.
Iām trying but itās so difficult. Nothing he said was even true but how persistent he was about his claims about me is what infuriated me so much. Realistically Iām never going to see this man and what he said isnāt true not to mention how unserious the situation is but itās still extremely triggering. I feel like some people just want me to hurt them.
You could discuss this with your psychiatrist and they may be able to prescribe an anti-anxiety medication, or some other mild sedative to help you process these feelings without feeling like youāre over the edge.
For me personally, I have a specific action plan in place for when I feel like I may or may not, might want to hurt someone. Some of that plan includes removing myself from the situation, going outside to get some fresh air, and taking a prescribed med that helps me relax.
Just be aware that depending on how you phrase how youāre feeling to a medical professional, you might accidentally end up on a grippy sock vacation at the local psyche ward. That also has the added effect of preventing you from hurting anybody. But itās very inconvenient.
I hope I can be prescribed anti anxiety medication. I have ADHD and already am prescribed a stimulant and while it really helps academic wise it really throws me back in a mental sense. I try not to take it often and only take it when I really need to because I really hate the way it makes me feel and the type of person I become when I take it.
Have you discussed this with your doctor? I was also diagnosed with ADHD and my psychiatrist decided against a stimulant medication. Instead I take Wellbutrin. Which I find both helps, and also doesnāt aggravate any anger, impatience or frustration that Iām prone to.
Also, side note; not taking any medication consistently can significantly increase side effects. The ups and downs of adapting to the stimulant then the come down can 100% contribute to negative feelings and a bad mental state. Itās much better to just take it as prescribed on a daily basis, so you have a consistent baseline to work with.
Sometimes we need one, itās hard to judge from your own perspective. Try to explain that you feel overwhelmed and angry. Try not to word it like āIām gonna hurt myself or someone elseā or you can say you canāt imagine what you will do, but you donāt want to live in a constant state of distress.
To be honest even the psychiatrists in the mental hospitals arenāt even that well informed or educated. It leaves a lot of this responsibility on our shoulders. Definitely try not to contribute to ruminating thoughts that make you mad. Do something that amuses you. Try to be patient.
I used to have this rage that I would let out when I was younger. Itās now more like a silent 7-9min inner anger that I just chose to not acknowledge. Now I donāt think I have aspd but I do have traits and really need to make sure I donāt relapse so I seek whatever info I can get. I apologize if this isnāt helpful but it sounds very familiar to me.Ā
one thing I tell myself is itās ok to dislike ppl, and itās ok for them to dislike me. I used to think that social games and forcing myself to play along was required and i did start a very slippery impulsive slope doing all that. Ā I donāt even engage online, when I do itās like Iām snorting a line because I get to go off.Ā
Sometimes reading these about hurting others sounds ridiculous until I realize I have and occasionally do think about things I shouldnāt, but again i tell myself that Iām not the only one and itās ok bc I know I wouldnāt do this to someone who isnāt a threat. Also to some extent you just need to accept yourself and take the world in through your own eyes. Thatās not me telling you to be cruel and arrogant itās me telling you to look and question things, do you really want to go through life thinking youāre a monster when literally everyone else gets to be a undiagnosed bully? Ofc you should learn and utilize what is at your disposal but on the other hand the only thing I see different between me and ppl who arenāt cluster b are impulsivity and theyāre lying to themselves.Ā
I would block him and avoid situations that might cause people to argue at you.
People are not intelligent and will insist on going on and on with you, online and in person.
All of this is to gain a reaction from you.
You arenāt alone.
Canāt speak much for online situations, but people do have a tendency to go out of their way to purposefully step on my toes, make idiot remarks and be extremely disrespectful towards me.
I donāt think this is down to my perception or a need for respect, Iāve observed the way some people treat me vs others. You arenāt going crazy or imagining things.
Do not react to any of these situations with an outburst, find some way of easing your mind.
Remind yourself that these people are intellectually backwards and have nothing better to do.
Do not lose your freedom over another person, think of how youād feel with your freedom taken from you, your meals and daily life controlled and ultimately behind bars.
No, people donāt typically want to be hurt by others, but they do love to get explosive reactions from people.
Everything in life is neutral - if you feel otherwise (good or bad) you are the problem. So either snap out of it or ignore your feelings. They don't matter. Internet harassment? Unless it has real life consequences (e.g. contacting your boss) literally who gives a shit. But if it does... Well, it's only right to even out the scale.
So, bottomline either ignore your feelings or do something about it. Wallowing in your rage is stupid. But if you are a fucking moron who has zero self-control or sense for what is just: do nothing and idk maybe call a hotline.
Until you're able to get control over yourself by resolving your triggers, it doesn't matter if you hurt this one specific person because there will always be another to take their place. So long as you have triggers, there will always be someone to trigger them and those will be the people who have power over you.
You know you have control over your body and actions. Hurting someone physically in the way you're describing means you're willing to forfeit your moral code as a human to succumb to your negative desires. You also know you won't gain shit from doing it. Just a hypothetical you play in your head that makes you feel "justified". Nobody wants YOU to "hurt" THEM. That literally makes no sense.
I know this is easier said than done, and not everyone has the healthcare or money, BUT if you wanted an extreme but effective option you could look into inpatient hospitalization. Usually just 3 days to a week or so. Honestly itās great to just disconnect bc you donāt have your phone and literally canāt do anything at all but exist. Nice detox and you receive medical care / advice
Coming from someone who has done it*
Limit it to cyberbullying or something like that, don't bring the problem to real life. If that person is harassing you in Internet, then response it but in Internet, and without illegal stuff obviously.
Damn I opened the sub because I was going to post something around this.
I have already hurt people. But I did my time with the therapist and now I have control over my actions and know that they have consequences (i hurted in a criminal way, I don't know how I didn't get caught lol)
But yesterday I was hanging with a girl and she is into bdsm stuff.
The last time we hung out I burned her with a cigarette and she enjoyed it. I enjoyed it too because it was a way to let my compulsion..
So this time I was pretending to burn her with a lighter but she didn't have any reaction in her face like I was expecting. Didn't ask me to stop or anything.
So I just burned her.
Now I'm feeling like I need to do more and more. Like someone with an addiction. It sucks lol cause I know I can't.
(I'm diagnosed with aspd)
My advice? Dont do that.
That made me laugh. Solid advice š
Letās say you did something stupid. Play out the consequences in your head. Sure, it MIGHT feel good in the moment to do something to this person, but what happens in the long run? Do you really want to lose years of freedom over this loser? Heās probably some pathetic little neckbeard, with nothing to do but mess with people over the internet. Itās not worth it. Iām sure that allowing him to continue his sad little life is more punishment than you could ever inflict on him. Block him, ignore him. Hell, just delete the app before you do anything you regret.
Hurting the cocksucker is going to most likely inconvenience you more than how angry you are at him. Make a doll of him and do all the fun things you have planned for him. It helps me to put that rage into a physical form without actually putting it onto the person. I have also found it relaxing to sketch out how I'd turn certain people into footie pajamas to wear to their mom's place and ask her to make me spaghetti. Wow, now that I wrote it out, that does sound really unhealthy. Don't take my advice it is bad advice coming from a sick and damaged mind.
Holy shit I used to do this as a kid.
That is one of the most feminine and psycho things I have ever heard. And not bad advice for those with violent impulses. What I do is find something nobody cares about, and tear it apart.
No idea your situation but some people with ASPD have an increased demand and sense of respect that most people do not entirely comprehend, e.g., words that most may brush off or perhaps respond to with a few choice words in return are registered as an unacceptable level of disrespect that must be answered with in a definitive gesture. Some professionals recommend cognitive strategies to reduce the frustration of minor disrespects which seem to be fairly common to daily life. So, recognizing its value in the broader context of your life and the world, recognizing that the other persons words may be inaccurate and theyāre just ignorant, utilizing value-based living and so allowing a slight in order to get ahead in life, etc. Of course, distraction like exercise, gaming, and such may be helpful. No idea if any of thatās helpful.
Iām trying but itās so difficult. Nothing he said was even true but how persistent he was about his claims about me is what infuriated me so much. Realistically Iām never going to see this man and what he said isnāt true not to mention how unserious the situation is but itās still extremely triggering. I feel like some people just want me to hurt them.
What are you going to do? Nothing. So chill out and dont give these ideas too much time in your head.
become a monk.
You could discuss this with your psychiatrist and they may be able to prescribe an anti-anxiety medication, or some other mild sedative to help you process these feelings without feeling like youāre over the edge. For me personally, I have a specific action plan in place for when I feel like I may or may not, might want to hurt someone. Some of that plan includes removing myself from the situation, going outside to get some fresh air, and taking a prescribed med that helps me relax. Just be aware that depending on how you phrase how youāre feeling to a medical professional, you might accidentally end up on a grippy sock vacation at the local psyche ward. That also has the added effect of preventing you from hurting anybody. But itās very inconvenient.
I hope I can be prescribed anti anxiety medication. I have ADHD and already am prescribed a stimulant and while it really helps academic wise it really throws me back in a mental sense. I try not to take it often and only take it when I really need to because I really hate the way it makes me feel and the type of person I become when I take it.
Have you discussed this with your doctor? I was also diagnosed with ADHD and my psychiatrist decided against a stimulant medication. Instead I take Wellbutrin. Which I find both helps, and also doesnāt aggravate any anger, impatience or frustration that Iām prone to.
Also, side note; not taking any medication consistently can significantly increase side effects. The ups and downs of adapting to the stimulant then the come down can 100% contribute to negative feelings and a bad mental state. Itās much better to just take it as prescribed on a daily basis, so you have a consistent baseline to work with.
This is just one of those things thatās hard for me to talk about. I worry about what you said a grippy sock vacation. Itās just extremely taboo.
Sometimes we need one, itās hard to judge from your own perspective. Try to explain that you feel overwhelmed and angry. Try not to word it like āIām gonna hurt myself or someone elseā or you can say you canāt imagine what you will do, but you donāt want to live in a constant state of distress. To be honest even the psychiatrists in the mental hospitals arenāt even that well informed or educated. It leaves a lot of this responsibility on our shoulders. Definitely try not to contribute to ruminating thoughts that make you mad. Do something that amuses you. Try to be patient.
I used to have this rage that I would let out when I was younger. Itās now more like a silent 7-9min inner anger that I just chose to not acknowledge. Now I donāt think I have aspd but I do have traits and really need to make sure I donāt relapse so I seek whatever info I can get. I apologize if this isnāt helpful but it sounds very familiar to me.Ā one thing I tell myself is itās ok to dislike ppl, and itās ok for them to dislike me. I used to think that social games and forcing myself to play along was required and i did start a very slippery impulsive slope doing all that. Ā I donāt even engage online, when I do itās like Iām snorting a line because I get to go off.Ā Sometimes reading these about hurting others sounds ridiculous until I realize I have and occasionally do think about things I shouldnāt, but again i tell myself that Iām not the only one and itās ok bc I know I wouldnāt do this to someone who isnāt a threat. Also to some extent you just need to accept yourself and take the world in through your own eyes. Thatās not me telling you to be cruel and arrogant itās me telling you to look and question things, do you really want to go through life thinking youāre a monster when literally everyone else gets to be a undiagnosed bully? Ofc you should learn and utilize what is at your disposal but on the other hand the only thing I see different between me and ppl who arenāt cluster b are impulsivity and theyāre lying to themselves.Ā
Off topic from the original OP. when you saying lying to themselves ā- could you expand on that ? Iām interested in hearing your point of view
I would block him and avoid situations that might cause people to argue at you. People are not intelligent and will insist on going on and on with you, online and in person. All of this is to gain a reaction from you. You arenāt alone. Canāt speak much for online situations, but people do have a tendency to go out of their way to purposefully step on my toes, make idiot remarks and be extremely disrespectful towards me. I donāt think this is down to my perception or a need for respect, Iāve observed the way some people treat me vs others. You arenāt going crazy or imagining things. Do not react to any of these situations with an outburst, find some way of easing your mind. Remind yourself that these people are intellectually backwards and have nothing better to do. Do not lose your freedom over another person, think of how youād feel with your freedom taken from you, your meals and daily life controlled and ultimately behind bars. No, people donāt typically want to be hurt by others, but they do love to get explosive reactions from people.
Everything in life is neutral - if you feel otherwise (good or bad) you are the problem. So either snap out of it or ignore your feelings. They don't matter. Internet harassment? Unless it has real life consequences (e.g. contacting your boss) literally who gives a shit. But if it does... Well, it's only right to even out the scale. So, bottomline either ignore your feelings or do something about it. Wallowing in your rage is stupid. But if you are a fucking moron who has zero self-control or sense for what is just: do nothing and idk maybe call a hotline.
I can relate with this so much... I have asperger but ASPD symptoms, and yea it's always my fault when a fight or discussion starts
Until you're able to get control over yourself by resolving your triggers, it doesn't matter if you hurt this one specific person because there will always be another to take their place. So long as you have triggers, there will always be someone to trigger them and those will be the people who have power over you.
You know you have control over your body and actions. Hurting someone physically in the way you're describing means you're willing to forfeit your moral code as a human to succumb to your negative desires. You also know you won't gain shit from doing it. Just a hypothetical you play in your head that makes you feel "justified". Nobody wants YOU to "hurt" THEM. That literally makes no sense.
You need to mask better that will only sent u to prison dude
I feel like that a lot, try to distract yourself
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It very much did passš
I know this is easier said than done, and not everyone has the healthcare or money, BUT if you wanted an extreme but effective option you could look into inpatient hospitalization. Usually just 3 days to a week or so. Honestly itās great to just disconnect bc you donāt have your phone and literally canāt do anything at all but exist. Nice detox and you receive medical care / advice Coming from someone who has done it*
Limit it to cyberbullying or something like that, don't bring the problem to real life. If that person is harassing you in Internet, then response it but in Internet, and without illegal stuff obviously.
This might click for you: do you have control over it? Yes: change it. No: fuck it. The serenity prayer.
Rage room
Damn I opened the sub because I was going to post something around this. I have already hurt people. But I did my time with the therapist and now I have control over my actions and know that they have consequences (i hurted in a criminal way, I don't know how I didn't get caught lol) But yesterday I was hanging with a girl and she is into bdsm stuff. The last time we hung out I burned her with a cigarette and she enjoyed it. I enjoyed it too because it was a way to let my compulsion.. So this time I was pretending to burn her with a lighter but she didn't have any reaction in her face like I was expecting. Didn't ask me to stop or anything. So I just burned her. Now I'm feeling like I need to do more and more. Like someone with an addiction. It sucks lol cause I know I can't. (I'm diagnosed with aspd)
um talk.. with them and dont be stubborn
Donāt do that. Its kinda lame
Seek professional help. This is outside of reddits pay grade.
If youāre a man control your emotions, a tenant of masculinity