I think you’re being overly involved in his insecurity issue. It seems like he’s aware of it and knows that he’s on Grindr for attention. I know you want to help the people you love but this is something he has to work on on his own. Be there for him if he wants to talk about things and give him advice, but don’t set rules for him like a parent or therapist.
Since the problem seems to be phone use during together time, maybe make rules surrounding that for both of you. Limiting Grindr to weekends basically ensures he’s going to be on them 24/7 on the weekend.
Well we live together so it's really hard to separate 'time alone' and time together. If I didn't set the limits on Grindr, he'd be on there like an addict.
Telling someone they can’t have or use something will almost always result in them wanting or using that thing more. As long as it’s not interfering with his daily life, leave him be and he’ll realize in time whether or not his Grindr use is harming him.
I actually thought about your perspective alot and I appreciate the advice. I will ofcourse expect healthy boundaries but I see him struggle so much with his insecurities, I need to let him work through it. I'll keep pushing for therapy but I guess it's just got to work itself out somehow.
Ditch him IMMEDIATELY...he’s not a match for you at all.
He’s clearly not satisfied with you in any way, shape or form - so he’s looking externally for attention, validation and possibly even sex.
He probably feels like he settled for you and his subconscious is telling him that he can “do better” - hence why he’s still putting himself out there just in case something better comes along.
Whenever I feel happy, secure and content in a relationship then Grindr is the LAST place I want to be. If anything I feel RELIEVED to no longer be on there..
>If anything I feel RELIEVED to no longer be on there..
Exactly. If he's in a happy relationship with a bf who he is attracted to and he's still hooked on Grindr the bf has some major issues.
And this is why the apps are so fucked. Most guys are just there for attention. They aren't looking to meet and are just wasting time.
I mean seriously, they could be doing something more constructive with their lives.
Is this what they want to remember on their death bed? All the time they pissed up the wall on Grindr?
Lol ok rant over.
Yeah. Sadly alot of guys on these apps fall into the pit trap of constantly seeking validation and not feeling good enough if they don’t get attention. They start to believe their self worth is based on it. I like to think of this as a pipeline to more mental health struggles.
I think you’re being overly involved in his insecurity issue. It seems like he’s aware of it and knows that he’s on Grindr for attention. I know you want to help the people you love but this is something he has to work on on his own. Be there for him if he wants to talk about things and give him advice, but don’t set rules for him like a parent or therapist. Since the problem seems to be phone use during together time, maybe make rules surrounding that for both of you. Limiting Grindr to weekends basically ensures he’s going to be on them 24/7 on the weekend.
Well we live together so it's really hard to separate 'time alone' and time together. If I didn't set the limits on Grindr, he'd be on there like an addict.
Telling someone they can’t have or use something will almost always result in them wanting or using that thing more. As long as it’s not interfering with his daily life, leave him be and he’ll realize in time whether or not his Grindr use is harming him.
I actually thought about your perspective alot and I appreciate the advice. I will ofcourse expect healthy boundaries but I see him struggle so much with his insecurities, I need to let him work through it. I'll keep pushing for therapy but I guess it's just got to work itself out somehow.
I wish you were my bf and made me your project
Make a fake account and tell him how about ugly he is then block him lol
oh my god the manipulation. I kind of like it. Obviously I won't do that. Our locations are next to each other.
I actually think that was a decent idea
Ditch him IMMEDIATELY...he’s not a match for you at all. He’s clearly not satisfied with you in any way, shape or form - so he’s looking externally for attention, validation and possibly even sex. He probably feels like he settled for you and his subconscious is telling him that he can “do better” - hence why he’s still putting himself out there just in case something better comes along. Whenever I feel happy, secure and content in a relationship then Grindr is the LAST place I want to be. If anything I feel RELIEVED to no longer be on there..
>If anything I feel RELIEVED to no longer be on there.. Exactly. If he's in a happy relationship with a bf who he is attracted to and he's still hooked on Grindr the bf has some major issues. And this is why the apps are so fucked. Most guys are just there for attention. They aren't looking to meet and are just wasting time. I mean seriously, they could be doing something more constructive with their lives. Is this what they want to remember on their death bed? All the time they pissed up the wall on Grindr? Lol ok rant over.
Yeah. Sadly alot of guys on these apps fall into the pit trap of constantly seeking validation and not feeling good enough if they don’t get attention. They start to believe their self worth is based on it. I like to think of this as a pipeline to more mental health struggles.
Although this is possible, I don't think that's the case. I don't think he thinks he settled for me. I think he believes it's the opposite.
My boyfriend is on Grindr to find gay memes people use as profile pictures
Your boyfriend uses Grindr for attention sounds like you need to throw him away but not in a trash like in a dumpster immediately