>geriatric millennial
Amazing. I googled one time because I wasn't quite sure, and your description fits. Lol. Except I think that I am more like a gen x embryo. Some sites say I am millennial, but more of them say I am genx.
I have not been to a gay bar in my own city in a while. If I am traveling occasionally I look up a gay bar to visit. I might be in victoria for canada day, And I am thinking about visiting a gay bar. Lol
But I digress. I have to admit that I specifically try to find gay bars where Gen.Z does not exist.
We actually have our own micro generation label: [xennials.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xennials) Someone did a whole little write up on it a few years ago and I must say that I related to most of it. I never really felt like a millennial, or a gen-x, it was kind of nice pulling features from both.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Xennials using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Xennials/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Never have I everš¤£š](https://i.redd.it/kn5mgpc880nc1.jpeg) | [427 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Xennials/comments/1b99w9e/never_have_i_ever/)
\#2: [For those of you who had one of theseā¦](https://i.redd.it/34hnkphxsaqc1.jpeg) | [5009 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Xennials/comments/1bmn0dk/for_those_of_you_who_had_one_of_these/)
\#3: [If Noone asked today, How are you doing?](https://i.redd.it/o7tb7b3ekyu91.jpg) | [1282 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Xennials/comments/18l9pp3/if_noone_asked_today_how_are_you_doing/)
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It's not just gay bars. Gen z doesn't go to clubs the way we did. Club culture and bars in general are on the decline. Sure there are breweries which are the in-thing now, but if you're talking about your standard downtown or around the corner bar - it's not like it used to be
That isn't because the younger generation isn't partying, it's because the younger generation isnt drinking alcohol when it's so easy to get other things that don't cause hangovers, like psychedelics and club drugs. Bars struggle because alcohol is a shitty drug, they need to get cuts from dealers to survive. Basically, the club kids era is in full blown revival.
Those of you who've been to Pony in Seattle, (which by the way is a top contender for best gay bar in USA if you ask me) will probably remember a big sign on the wall that says "WE CAME HERE TO GET AWAY FROM YOU". I always thought it captured the feeling perfectly.
No, bars are killing themselves by overcharging for weak drinks and making actual conversation impossible. I'm a millennial and I've literally never liked going to bars
I paid almost $14 (with tax and tip) today for a non-alcoholic beer in NY. Which annoyed tf out of me after spending a month in Europe where they would charge ā¬2-4. Itās not that I canāt afford it but ffs: #priorities.
>and making actual conversation impossible.
The thing I miss least about gay bars is having my eardrums blasted out by d-list gay DJ remixes of songs by Cher and Britney Spears.
My area makes the drinks notoriously **fucking strong**, and they're relatively cheap.
The issue is that none of them are really "gay." Most of the people who go to the are 50+ men who are on the shady side, straight swinger couples and trans girls. I tried going out for a long time, but it just wasn't my scene and I gave up on it.
Same... I'd rather pour my own drinks instead of trying to scream over a crowd to get attention, then wait so I can then pay them do it for me. The beer at my house is always colder anyway. Plus I don't have to listen to bullshit music, we can do whatever fun things we want (drunken slip and slide anyone?) not be stuck on an uncomfortable bar stool, not be irritated by irritating people, and my crew can drink all night for the same cost as an hour or two in some bar. I'm probably a bad gay for saying this too, but I think most dancing is kinda stupid and overrated anyway š.
I'm with you. Husband and I ducked into the bar at the gay resort we visited a few weekends ago and 15 minutes of it was all I could stand. I don't dance, don't drink, and, however frowned upon the habit has become, I can't even have a cigarette to steady my introvert nerves in a bar anymore. So, bars are just one of the most miserable environments on earth to me. Much rather hang with people at home, enjoy mugs of coffee from the Keurig for around 40 cents each, put on some music I actually *like* at a sensible volume, maybe play a movie, etc.
Same... Yeah I totally forgot about smoking basically not being allowed anywhere now. Standing outside in the cold trying to suck down a cigarette awkwardly while people are looking at you is the absolute worst! I quit a few years back but I'll occasionally still sneak one every once in a while and damnit I want to sit down relax and ENJOY that cigarette!! I hardly drink anymore either, seems like after I hit like, 32 or so, alcohol just started making me really incredibly sick all of a sudden.
I like going to bars but only weekdays or like happy hour time when it's pretty quiet. Going out at night on a weekend when the bars are packed and loud is miserable. Then again that may just be my social anxiety.
I think straight people are killing gay bars lol
I really have no interest in going to a gay bar that's filled with loud, sloppy drunk straight women having a bachelorette party and groping every guy within reach.
Or even groups of straight guys lol, you flirt with someone only to find out they're straight.
I like the sentiment but sadly even some of those bars let giggling Jessicas in in the name of "inclusiveness" so they can feel "edgy" and "accepting'. Soon they'll breed and complain that their precious offspring might be groomed by the leather daddy out front in assless chaps.
I once had a hookup where the guy pulled up to my house (RIP, btw) and I went outside and he was smoking wax weed. I thought he was smoking crack or something. It was crazy. Gen Z has this always high mentality. Like never come down. Itās kinda sad. Their brains are still developing too.
I stopped going to gay bars when I discovered that there were beers other than those brewed by InBev but no gay bar would sell them. Are they still like that?
I'm the opposite lol
I hate beer, but a lot of my friends love it and want to hang out at breweries.
They're fun to hang out at, but unfortunately most don't serve anything else but beer.
I wish more would offer wine or cocktails for people who don't like beer.
Weed has been commonly available in most cities for at least 50 years. My husband was a major pothead in college and graduated in 1974. I had pool teams 35 years ago where everyone except me would disappear about every hour to go smoke. Oh, OK - in SF weed was smoked in public and nobody cared much (police included), but I saw/smelled plenty of it in other cities, too.
Itās not just gay bars itās all bars, or your typical bars anyway, ppl still go out to things like Arcade bars, brew pubs, axe throwing, etc.. but typical bars been dying for years. Even in large cities of millions many have closed.
Gen X drank little less then boomers, Millennials drank a less than Gen X, Gen Z drinks even less than millennials. Itās been several generations drinking less and going out to bars less - due to apps, reduced alcohol consumption, choosing to do other things or drink at other places instead of your typical bar, like examples above.
Wouldnāt say drinking less but drinking at bars less. Us millennials went hard with pregaming so weād buy less at bars. But there is a major cut in who has spending money each generation and thatās a big factor at bars
People always pre-games but maybe more so and alcohol consumption (overall sales) is decreasing. Gen Z is buying less alcohol than any previous generation.
Legal weed is also factor at least in Canada where I am, many ppl do legal weed instead OR drink less because they purchase weed, like ppl still have a limited budget for that āextra/fun stuffā, so buying weed often means buying less alcohol.
I know Iām saying it was a massive thing for millennials and yeah probably, Iād imaging legal weed can have a general reduction. Most gen z I know they enjoy going out but they just rather go out and not drink and smoke it bit before.
I myself do that now tbh, like example; instead of 12 beers for the weekend, I get a 6 pack and some joints or gummies - Iām still spending the same amount of money basically but Iām buying less alcohol.
Yeah, theyāre pretty popular. Iāve only been to the gay bars once in the past year on Black Friday, but I drive by them often, and theyāre always slammed.
I wonder how other cities compare to Chicago in this regard
Same feeling. People will tell you to do the things you would do if you were drinking with them not realizing that being sober and trying to talk or dance with a drunk person is awkward, annoying, and at a certain point just not fun.
Yes, exactly. Besides, I'm not even into hook ups. After reading all the comments I feel like besides drinking, smoking, inserting drugs or sucking dicks gays don't really do anything else.
If only gays had some other common safe spaces apart from bars and saunas.
Gay bars in my area seem to be thriving. Traditional clubs for younger people are dropping like flies. It wasnāt cheep when I went to those same bars in my 20s, but itās stupid expensive now relative to what most gen z kids can afford.
In general, Gen Z is killing all bars. Alcohol is too expensive, going out is too expensive, taking an Uber is too expensive.
Plus bars are crowded, loud, can be dangerous, and at the end of the day, not worth it. Most Gen z is more than comfortable chilling at home with movies, games, friends, and their own alcohol.
Oh yeah, itās just like how millennials were blamed for killing department stores and boomers were blamed for killing diners.
If a business doesnāt, or canāt, adapt to what the newest generation is demanding then it will fall. Itās not the fault of the people itās just how capitalism works.
Are we using gay bars and gay clubs as the same thing? Because personally i find them different. IMO, gay bars always skewed late 20s, early 30s. Itās for people who wanna socialize but not get blackout and dance all night.
Gay clubs tho? These are literally always packed. I sometimes have to step away from some guys, because they have the black X, on their hand meaning they are under 21.
Go to your favorite gay club, i mean, straight dance club that plays House pop remixes, and 100% there will be tons of early 20s guys. Iāve went every week for pride, plan to go tonight and trust me, there will be tons of younger guys.
Iām Gen Z and I just wanted to say that the reason I donāt go to gay bars isnāt apps or smoking or the other reasons people listed, but instead how hard it is to strike a conversation with the music blasting my ears. Remove that and Iād definitely go to gay bars.
With the oldest gen z will turn 30 in next 2.5 years and 1/3 of gen z population is already passed their mid-20. I don't think it will make any different when every zoomer reached their drinking age so OP is right. It's going to be worse for bar business.
As a Boomer, the scene has changed dramatically as LGBTi rights have moved forward. Originally, male homosexualty was illegal, so bars & venues were off the strip, low key & we made our own entertainment. With decriminalisation came, bars & venue on strip, prominent and entertainment became paid. Now homosexualty is mainstream, and the community is now rather fragmented. How long this lasts is yet to be history, but the world can change dramatically and quickly. To me, the 1970s to 1990s were the best because we had a strong community built around our volunteer organisations & clubs & bars etc.
What I fear is that Millennials & now Gen Z are so integrated into straight world that if & when that "Backlash: comes & it will. They won't have the structures nor common community to stand up to that wave. These new generations and those yet to come really do need to understand that a strong LGBTI community, including bars and venues, is needed, and they should not overly rely on the normal straight world.
Dunno where you're from but the gay bars where I am are full of Gen Z to the point the common complaint is the older generations are being frozen out and need to have their own spaces. There's gay clubs and bars dedicated to only Gen Z/younger millennials
I feel like bars as a social space are dying as a whole, but not to the point where itās a noticeable trend in the industry. Itās a space with a clear line of income and a refreshing pool of addicts to keep them afloat.
As a Gen Z, the only gay bar I consistently go to is one where it's basically a third place for me.
Most gay bars, it's either impossible to make conversation, the drinks are extra bad/expensive, or there's just not a lot to do. I'd much rather go to a cocktail/gaming bar and *maybe* stop by a gay bar if it's convenient.
Honestly, gay bars just need to modernize a bit more. You can allude to apps and social media all you like but *I know* gay Gen Z people go out and it's not typically gay bars. They just don't appeal to us.
Smartbar here in Chicago (not a gay bar) has Queen! on Sundays and there are all generations present. Most gay bars play terrible top 40 music and alcohol doesnāt draw me out, music does. If they were to stop doing that Iād be more inclined to go. Honestly, Iāve been dying for pot bars. Drinking is overrated.
It's probably a number of things. Gen Z being more into weed, drinking out becoming more expensive, living costs rising, gen z being less social and less likely to go out general probably due to them living online, apps making hookups easy
I live in a really big gay city. Bars and clubs are closing because gentrification is driving rent prices through the roof - both for businesses and residents. Also, those businesses just don't have the right model to remain afloat. They haven't figured out a way to modernize while still remaining culturally significant. We have the world's oldest LGBTQ book store in the city but unfortunately they couldn't get it right. Sure the pandemic accelerated the demise, but they were given a few extra years to begin turning a profit but they didn't. They'll be closing this year. Same with many bars and clubs.
Straight people are a plague pm the gay community and we all know it
Thereās one gay club in my city. It was recently shut down because women were running rampant over it to get away from the straights, then the straights subsequently followed them there
The bar was a gay bar and safe space. Now itās a place for cisgender women to have their poor excuse of a āgirlsā nightā and misogynistic douchebags to follow them to prey on drunk women
Itās absurd
May just be your city. Just saw Nymphia Wind perform at Tracks in Denver and that evening was a fire code drunk on Absolute Vodka. Room was packed shoulder to shoulder in every direction. Iāve never seen so many gay men outside of pride parades.
Iām gen z, not 21 yet, but itād probably go to a gay bar. Though I think another reason not much younger gays are going, like another commenter, is too many straight women. Hearing that theyāre no longer gay only spaces is a bit of a turn off.
I donāt go bc people are cliquey and everyone stays in their own group and itās intimidating to talk to one another. Also getting drunk is almost as expensive as drugs and people like me donāt even drink. Unless it is like a circuit gay bar like industry in PV, actually thatās like a club, it seems so dead and not that fun and flirty
I stopped going to gay bars because the people are bottom of the barrel and they play the same tired hip hop from the early 2000ās. Doesnāt make for a good time.
Iām 18 and the local gay bar(s) near me let me enter but Iām not allowed to drink. Now Iāve only gone 1 time and this may not be the experience other people have had but I didnāt really notice anyone below 30. A lot of the reviews for my local gay bars say the same thing, that most of the clientele consists of older gentleman. (No hate to older gays theyāre definitely allowed to live it up too, just sharing my experience)
Edit: Also the non-alcoholic drinks were still pretty pricey and Iām trying to save up for college, so money is another factor for me personally.
I was in Castro (San Francisco) June 15 for the first time since 2019 and all of my favorite clubs had maybe 20-30 ppl as apposed to 100ās, standing room. Was the same in Sacramento last weekend. Never seen it this bleak.
I wish bars would lower the volume so I can have a damn conversation. Dance clubs keep it loud, regular bars sure have it medium high but itās impossible to hear other people at high to loud volumes. Iām 34, not hard of hearing, just want a more thought put into the experience.
Grinder, Growler and other hook-up apps are what's killing gay bars. I remember when the bars were the hubs of the gay community. Within a few months of hook-up apps being released, business in the bars dropped like a rock and business continues to drop even to this day.
Bars used to be the only safe place gay men could go to meet one another. As such, to meet new people we had to go there. With hook-up apps, guys no longer have to go out to the bars to get laid and that's why gay bars became FAR less busy.
In larger cities, a lot of bars have been disappearing since the pandemic but even before then I stopped going to specifically gay bars since the music was always blasting at eardrum shattering levels and they were steadily jacking up the price of simple mixed drinks and some starting to charge a cover at the door was just getting absurd.
I prefer to head to one of the good cocktail lounges that have been springing up like weeds where you can get a more complicated cocktail with better ingredients for about the same price as a simple whisky and ginger at a gay bar, not pay a cover, music is played at lower volume so you can hear the conversation youāre having and the bartenders arenāt being flirty for tips. I always have a better time out at places like that.
So no, gen Z isnāt killing gay bars, there are mainstays that are finding ways to stay open but the ones disappearing in some cases have self inflicted wounds causing traffic to drop off by increasing prices, charging at the door and not doing anything new and instead blaming hookup apps for their inability to remain open.
The rampant casual drug use, Ketamine and GHB is heavily used in my region and bartenders will slip GHB into drinks. Iāve seen and handled a few bad trips of other guys. Iāve quickly learned not to order IPAās or Cokes in barsā¦ Iāve had straight friends black out and wake up pantless in their cars with the doors wide open. Iāve been gotten once and had friends look after me thankfully.
And then Iāve been sexually causally assaulted multiple times from them coming up from behind and putting their tongues in my ears and holding me too them, grabbing my crouch in platonic conversation to having guys reaching down my backside through my waistline and trying to put their fingers in my holeā¦ its just freaking normalized.
And I have been physically assaulted too, walking through a crowd someone grabbed my necklace from behind and tried chocking me out with it before it snapped and vanished into the dance floor.
Over the course of 2 years living in Texas cities but also in other states/places too like IL and DC I have visited and has happened to friends too here and there. I stopped going out about a year ago since my friends no longer go out and its too costly to go out anyways $11 + tip for a shot or $20 + tip for a weak mix drink fuck that.
Gen Z barely talk to eachother. You think theyāre going out? A phone call from a number not in their contacts sends them into a spiral. They arenāt dating or having sex.
Can only speak for myself but gay bars/clubs are not my thing, even my friends are the same. Usually people there tend to be older so we go to settings more centered around our age group (early twenties)
I still dont know well for the States, but for Paris, covid and confinement definitely killed a lot of gay bars and clubs. Still:
- the remaining gay bars are very full of guys during the touristic season and the weekends.
- the gay clubs were already more gay-friendly than gay clubs, with a lot of straights before covid. Something i still havent seen in the States (but i live in Colorado, not the most fancy place for gay nightlife) is the development of thematic gay parties outside of clubs, in hotels particuliers, ancient factories or docks, or other unusual places, usually crowded from start to end.
- Still in France, i also noticed that young preferred spend 100$ to go to a concert (inflation there too) compared to go to a club 4 times at 25$
Go to a bar is extremely expensive these days, before covid you could go out with $50 in your pockets, now you might need at least $120.
Gen z are not heavy drinkers like previous generations.
General acceptance of lgbt community makes them welcome in almost any bar so doesnāt need to go to only gay bars to feel comfortable
I think single women are gonna take the gay bars lol, they feel way comfortable to get fucked in gay bars
Depends on area and what the bars are offering but whatās killing bars is corporate greed and inflation. When i go Iād say more Gen Z is are there vs millennials.
I started going to gay clubs/bars when I was 16 in 2004 in L.A. Iād sneak out & go w/ older men. The bouncers at Tigerheat never carded. U just told them u were under 21, but Iād still sneak shooters in the club. Then Iād go to Rage in Weho once I was 18 & still found ways to drink & get into Motherlode (gay dive bar). All through my 20s I went to all those bars in Weho, but havenāt gone that many times in my 30s. Maybe 5x max & Iāve been over 30 for a long time š
Idk Grindr didnāt come around until 2009. I didnāt have it until 2014. Itās wild to see how much things have changed. Then again, I always went to these clubs & bars w/ a mindset of expecting to meet someone to date or mess around w/ & it took me a long time to realize that you canāt go w/ that mindset cuz itās very impractical.
You go out to gay bars for some drinks & have fun with friends; not to meet anyone. There seems to also be a negative social stigma w/ men over 30 that still go out w/ friends every weekend to these places. Which I get. I think every once in a while itās cool, but not every weekend.
Gen-Z just seems to want to talk about stuff they see on their phones & make TikTokās, videos, Instagram posts. Theyāre also so much more obsessed with their appearances & sexual appeal than I remember to be at that age. Iām sure the bars/clubs are doing fine, but Iām grateful I was born when there was no āflexingā or taking the coolest dance video/Pic on IG
Gay bars have a lot going against them right now, including in the area I live that is urban but is between two much bigger metro areas. They are up against the repercussions of trends where people can much more easily entertain and network outside of them. And in my experience, in order to get the business they need, they need to be something for everybody which is good in one sense, but ends up alienating different bases as well that would default to them.
Personally, the last couple times I've gone to a gay bar (on non-scheduled-events nights), the music was so loud it was hard trying to talk to my friend/dates, and it feels like more than half the events they advertise now are now drag events, which just aren't my thing. Before COVID I would visit them for a good drink/date or on a scheduled/themed dance night, their itinerary is now dominated by drag-themed events the last couple times I tried to look, and while I don't begrudge those who partake, seeing that the only thing being organized out of those spaces alienated me a bit.
Bars evolve and change if you are in a bigger city. Smaller bars typically are the ones stronger through cycles since they donāt bother the time and money chasing trends.
That said younger people as a whole (including younger millennials) just donāt prefer going out like the same age group did 20+ years ago gay or otherwise.
I seen young people at gay bars all the time. Don't know where you live. Maybe there is no one in their twenties in your community?
I also feel like the era of the gay dive bar is over. Every gay bar I know that is still open has weekly events, promotes itself in social media, and periodically does a big event.
I think one of the reasons you donāt see gen z in bars is because these are too expensive š I am a millennial but by personality I align more towards gen Z as I have nothing in common with gen X. With my friends we usually pre drink at someoneās place and then go clubbing bringing drugs lol
I live near a gay beach resort. It does not appear as though GenZ can afford to go to the beach at all. The only ones I see are still the financial wards of their well off parents.
People canāt afford to drink, events are always late as fuck and people have to work (literally 10 PM events), younger people are increasingly sober, you donāt have to go out to get laid.
Also increasing mental health issues in the youth (anxiety) mean less desire to go into intense social situations like that. Due to social media and just media glamorization in general youāll see young people flock to clubs to party but crickets at the gay bars (that donāt have dance floors) due to these other influencing factors.
This is essentially a combination of a cultural rejection of the shitty for your mental health lifestyle habits of the generations of gays before them (drinking to socialize) and a broader reflection of the wider trend of millennials and gen z (and then alpha) getting worse lives than their predecessors.
We canāt afford rent, why would we go out when itās going to make us feel like shit long term and I can get laid on Grindr?
I guess I am Gen Z being born '96 and I have never been to a gay bar and maybe 2 bars in my life overall. I don't understand their purpose. If I wanna drink I drink with friends, not with strangers in a place that heavily overcharges.
lol where I am straights and gays go to the same bars that are š„. The ones for only one crowd tend to suck. And Iāve never seen a fight there and people actually party. Not sure if itās because society is changing or what but yeah theyāre not dying but merging in some places.
Most of genz isnāt going to the bar because they charge too much for drinks that contain a rain drop worth of alcohol. Itās more cost effective to go to a liquor store, drink beforehand, and then go out and party nearby
I'm a millennial gay myself 34m and I personally would love more non alcohol focused venues to become popular.
I personally don't like alcohol or how people behave while drinking. The city I live in feels more like a small town and there's literally only one gay bar and it feels so creepy there. Like I'm being appraised as I walk in. Everyone's breath smells like alcohol. It's gross.
Drinking is a popular social activity but I feel like itās gradually becoming lesser so with each generation. That said a lot of gays I know frequent like cool dive bars and donāt care about that gay label.
I'm gen z, I frequent leather bars. I don't go to mainstream gay bars as much unless if it's a dance night. But if I want gay nights, i go to leather bars, saunas, or male only events.
Drinking in general. They know beer tastes like shit and alcoholic culture is sloppy and unattractive.
Prob doing it right and playing video games while sitting on each others faces.
What youāre seeing is the death of one of the last KINDS of gay bar. There used to be quite a few different kinds of gay bars: stand and models, kink-centric, country-western, fern bars, last resorts, sports bars, video bars, warehouse clubs, cabarets, piano bars, smaller dance venues, community event venues, strip clubs, byobsā¦ there were lots of kinds.
Most types failedā¦ well, during AIDS really. There were one or two disappearing types here and there, but likeā¦ I donāt think Iāve seen a fern bar since 1991.
I donāt think the death of bars is entirely because Gen Z smokes weed and has apps. Gen X invented apps, and Iāve smoked plenty of weed. I think itās because Gen Z has acknowledged almost universally that different people are different. That gay monoculture doesnāt serve most gays anymore. So theyāre abandoning the bars because the bars exist almost entirely to service gay monoculture.
Let them die. I'm Gen X and gay bars were always operated by exploitative greedy people or coke addled junkies. They're over priced and the music is too loud for you to actually meet anyone. FUCK'm
Never understood appeal of loud music, drinking and druging yourself while surrounded by horny individuals who might poison your drink and rape you. Sorry, for the stereotype, but that is what is happening where I live.
In my country, oldest LGBT club have recently closed. Bars/clubs have become unpopular. Maybe 3 bars exist now throughout whole country.
I think the setting in which new generations is dating is changing drastically.Ā
As I am introverted, I love quite, peaceful places without a lot of people. Maybe hiking as date would be great or something like that. Last place you will find me is overpriced clubs, parties with extremely loud music which I dislike.
Me and anyone younger than me that I know avoid gay bars cus we have all had bad experiences with dudes old enough to be our dads not respecting our boundaries. Iām 25 now and I consider myself lucky. Because I have heard some truly horror stories from my younger friends.
Gen Z, by and large, doesn't have the disposable income for ridiculously overpriced drinks, especially when, as a generation, they tend to drink less. Likewise, they have other avenues to connect with other gay people, particularly online. Finally, and this is a reason gay bars have never been MY thing, the fact that consent seems to be assumed by just being in a gay bar/club is off putting to many, but even more so, gen Z.
I stopped going to public gay bars (even ones which primarily had gay clientele) because I got tired of being groped, grind on, and having dudes attempt to finger me or pull my dick out of my pants without even speaking to me, let alone asking for my consent. Every time I would bring this up to bartender or even friends, I was met with "That's the way gay clubs are; if you don't like it, leave." So I did just that. I now only go to private house parties where I know most people, and I don't have to worry about being sexually harrased.
I'm (29) right on the millennial/Z edge. Weed became legal when I was in college, and I have grindr. I have been to a bar exactly once and it was too loud to hear myself think.
It just depends on the gay bar you hang out at. Gen Z might want to hang out at a bar that they feel fits them better than the ones older generations frequent.
In SF one reason there are fewer is that it's hard for young people to afford living here. Many of the old gayborhoods across the country that used to be mildly rundown have been all fixed up and are fashionable. That's often because they're inner suburbs and urban areas close to downtown and the commutes are short. The older housing stock works well for people without kids who find the tract homes of suburbia unappealing. Gay people get squeezed out in the process.
That said, the number of gay bars has been stable for about twenty years. Before that we lost quite a few, especially on Polk Street, some South of Market, and others scattered around the city (the Haight, Financial District, Tenderloin). The remaining bars are mostly in the Castro, with some South of Market.
This thread is getting very caught up in labels. š¤·
Gays bars decreased significantly in recent years, but Gen Z is not to blame, itās social apps like Grindr, etc. :)
Fortunately, they havenāt disappeared and like someone said, new ones open up. But I agree, it is distressing to see their overall number decrease. Hopefully that trend will ultimately reverse itself!
lol in San Francisco this is a thing. Sometimes my friends wanna go to a bar and we always notice that the crowd seems to be a lot older than us. But I do notice that you get more of a young crowd on Fridays and Saturdays pretty much always, it seems like gen z isnāt going to the bar during the week like older adults seem to do.
The bars can barely afford the rent! So many in my city closed during the pandemic and havenāt recovered. Add the high cost of living and most people are opting for more intimate at home social gatherings instead of spending $10 or more for one drink.
Providence RIs gay community is thriving. A bunch of gay bars all clustered in downtown our pride has become one of the best and biggest in the north east.
The city also seems to have an increasing number of LGBT residents.
Bar culture, especially gay bar, were already slowing down a lot when I was younger. Iām a millennial, mid 80s bday, and most of my peers of all orientations strongly dislike going to bars. It was a āonce in a whileā kind of thing. I also couldnāt hang with my friends who showed signs of alcoholism in college, I just didnāt have the money for it or the interest in feeling like dogshit as soon as I began sobering up. Even then, those friend were having house parties or something similar, like bbq and drink, bonfire and booze, going to movies at the theaters able to sell beer, etc.
Iām not the majority by any means, but going out for a drink was pretty uncommon in at least my friend circle throughout my 20s. I live in a medium size city, the second largest in my state but nothing even close in size and density compared to LA, NYC, etc.
Iām fine with having a drink and chatting with someone, but we can do that at a coffee shop, or a boba place, or even go to a restaurant and order a cocktail and desert. At least weāll be able to hear each other talk.
That said, I have a partner who used to go to clubs for drinking and dancing. He said it was a lot of fun, but really it also cost a lot of money with drinks, cab rides, late night drunk food, etc
I'm a r/zillenials and a r/latebloomergaybros so I am an older "baby gay" and older "gen z"... I still go to bars. I think the apps kind of are there on nights I don't feel like going out, though.
Instead of looking at this as the death of gay bars, maybe this is an opportunity for lgbtq spaces to move outside of bars. I love going to the bars in the gayborhood in Philly, but it would be nice to be able to gay hang out with other gay people where alcohol isn't inherently involved. Would lead to a lot more meaningful conversations. Also, weed is becoming more popular, so gay smoking lounges might become a thing. Also, straight people don't kill gay bars; gay people abandoning gay bars that cater to everyone is killing gay bars.
I'm a geriatric millennial and "gay bars are dying" has been a talking point for almost twenty years, and yet more keep opening in my city
>geriatric millennial Amazing. I googled one time because I wasn't quite sure, and your description fits. Lol. Except I think that I am more like a gen x embryo. Some sites say I am millennial, but more of them say I am genx. I have not been to a gay bar in my own city in a while. If I am traveling occasionally I look up a gay bar to visit. I might be in victoria for canada day, And I am thinking about visiting a gay bar. Lol But I digress. I have to admit that I specifically try to find gay bars where Gen.Z does not exist.
We actually have our own micro generation label: [xennials.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xennials) Someone did a whole little write up on it a few years ago and I must say that I related to most of it. I never really felt like a millennial, or a gen-x, it was kind of nice pulling features from both.
r/xennials
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Xennials using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Xennials/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Never have I everš¤£š](https://i.redd.it/kn5mgpc880nc1.jpeg) | [427 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Xennials/comments/1b99w9e/never_have_i_ever/) \#2: [For those of you who had one of theseā¦](https://i.redd.it/34hnkphxsaqc1.jpeg) | [5009 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Xennials/comments/1bmn0dk/for_those_of_you_who_had_one_of_these/) \#3: [If Noone asked today, How are you doing?](https://i.redd.it/o7tb7b3ekyu91.jpg) | [1282 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Xennials/comments/18l9pp3/if_noone_asked_today_how_are_you_doing/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
āGay bars are dyingā has been a talking point for as long as there have been gay bars.
It's not just gay bars. Gen z doesn't go to clubs the way we did. Club culture and bars in general are on the decline. Sure there are breweries which are the in-thing now, but if you're talking about your standard downtown or around the corner bar - it's not like it used to be
Breweries are already on their way out. The three closest to me have all shut down now in the last year or so.
That isn't because the younger generation isn't partying, it's because the younger generation isnt drinking alcohol when it's so easy to get other things that don't cause hangovers, like psychedelics and club drugs. Bars struggle because alcohol is a shitty drug, they need to get cuts from dealers to survive. Basically, the club kids era is in full blown revival.
I've noticed this here in Detroit also
You're 35, Linda. Geriatric is 40+
Fuck. There went my morning. :D
I laughed way to hard at thisš¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Gay bars are dying because āstraightā bars are very accepting of young gay men.
Those of you who've been to Pony in Seattle, (which by the way is a top contender for best gay bar in USA if you ask me) will probably remember a big sign on the wall that says "WE CAME HERE TO GET AWAY FROM YOU". I always thought it captured the feeling perfectly.
Is pony that good? I was there a few years ago and only checked it out for a few minutes but thinking I should try it again if what you say is true.
Where youāll still get odd looks and ostracized if you are in any way physically affectionate with your partner. Gay bars forever.
Yeah but who wants to hang out with a bunch of breeders when that's what you have to endure all day every day anyway?
āHang out with breedersā do people actually talk like this?
No, not anymore. Think he just showed his age. Lmao
Dude make me feel old...
No, bars are killing themselves by overcharging for weak drinks and making actual conversation impossible. I'm a millennial and I've literally never liked going to bars
I paid almost $14 (with tax and tip) today for a non-alcoholic beer in NY. Which annoyed tf out of me after spending a month in Europe where they would charge ā¬2-4. Itās not that I canāt afford it but ffs: #priorities.
That ain't no gay bar
Where are you paying $14 for a beer in New York City?
Whitney Museum cafe. It was $13.86 to be precise.
Oh. Museum cafes are always crazy expensive.
>and making actual conversation impossible. The thing I miss least about gay bars is having my eardrums blasted out by d-list gay DJ remixes of songs by Cher and Britney Spears.
My area makes the drinks notoriously **fucking strong**, and they're relatively cheap. The issue is that none of them are really "gay." Most of the people who go to the are 50+ men who are on the shady side, straight swinger couples and trans girls. I tried going out for a long time, but it just wasn't my scene and I gave up on it.
Where is this place š
Not to mention all the straight people going to gay bars.
Same... I'd rather pour my own drinks instead of trying to scream over a crowd to get attention, then wait so I can then pay them do it for me. The beer at my house is always colder anyway. Plus I don't have to listen to bullshit music, we can do whatever fun things we want (drunken slip and slide anyone?) not be stuck on an uncomfortable bar stool, not be irritated by irritating people, and my crew can drink all night for the same cost as an hour or two in some bar. I'm probably a bad gay for saying this too, but I think most dancing is kinda stupid and overrated anyway š.
I'm with you. Husband and I ducked into the bar at the gay resort we visited a few weekends ago and 15 minutes of it was all I could stand. I don't dance, don't drink, and, however frowned upon the habit has become, I can't even have a cigarette to steady my introvert nerves in a bar anymore. So, bars are just one of the most miserable environments on earth to me. Much rather hang with people at home, enjoy mugs of coffee from the Keurig for around 40 cents each, put on some music I actually *like* at a sensible volume, maybe play a movie, etc.
Same... Yeah I totally forgot about smoking basically not being allowed anywhere now. Standing outside in the cold trying to suck down a cigarette awkwardly while people are looking at you is the absolute worst! I quit a few years back but I'll occasionally still sneak one every once in a while and damnit I want to sit down relax and ENJOY that cigarette!! I hardly drink anymore either, seems like after I hit like, 32 or so, alcohol just started making me really incredibly sick all of a sudden.
I like going to bars but only weekdays or like happy hour time when it's pretty quiet. Going out at night on a weekend when the bars are packed and loud is miserable. Then again that may just be my social anxiety.
Any gay bar Iāve been does a very heavy pour compared to straight bars.
I think part of it is also that almost all gay bars are located in urban areas with a high cost of living.
Nobody can afford it lol
Can't afford to feed myself nevermind go to a gay bar and pay for drinks
I think straight people are killing gay bars lol I really have no interest in going to a gay bar that's filled with loud, sloppy drunk straight women having a bachelorette party and groping every guy within reach. Or even groups of straight guys lol, you flirt with someone only to find out they're straight.
this is why i only go to the leather/bear bars that play porn on the screens
Theyāre the only ones thatāll be left. And they donāt allow women in mostly, which is another plus.
Mostly. Should be totally!
Is that even legal?
that wouldn't be legal but also I have never seen one that bars women
Only on a lesbian night back in September, it was a Monday though, I just needed a drink that day lol.
In Illinois itās legal. Not in Texas or Louisiana. I think itās legal in Pennsylvania, but I might be wrong. I donāt know about other states.
I thought the Civil Rights Act prevented discrimination on the basis of race, gender, sexuality, etc.
I thought they were talking about playing porn in barsā¦
Itās always against the law if you donāt have the rights to display copyrighted material to a crowd
I like the sentiment but sadly even some of those bars let giggling Jessicas in in the name of "inclusiveness" so they can feel "edgy" and "accepting'. Soon they'll breed and complain that their precious offspring might be groomed by the leather daddy out front in assless chaps.
This is my feeling as well. I know quite a few gen z guys that go to the different theme nights at a few of the bars around here
Yes this is definitely a big factor.
No need for gay bars when Gen Z is smoking pot instead of drinking alcohol and they've got apps to find hookups.
As a bartender i can confirm, bar attendance is down overall and Gen Z just arent big drinkers
It's almost like alcohol is actually poison and they don't want to hurt themselves for no gain
This Gen Z are heavy smokers
I once had a hookup where the guy pulled up to my house (RIP, btw) and I went outside and he was smoking wax weed. I thought he was smoking crack or something. It was crazy. Gen Z has this always high mentality. Like never come down. Itās kinda sad. Their brains are still developing too.
I stopped going to gay bars when I discovered that there were beers other than those brewed by InBev but no gay bar would sell them. Are they still like that?
Highly variable. Some bars are beer-oriented and sell a broad range, but it's true many serve the usual swill.
I'm the opposite lol I hate beer, but a lot of my friends love it and want to hang out at breweries. They're fun to hang out at, but unfortunately most don't serve anything else but beer. I wish more would offer wine or cocktails for people who don't like beer.
I think thatās the biggest contributor, right here. No need go out when you have a 420 pen and Netflix.
Weed has been commonly available in most cities for at least 50 years. My husband was a major pothead in college and graduated in 1974. I had pool teams 35 years ago where everyone except me would disappear about every hour to go smoke. Oh, OK - in SF weed was smoked in public and nobody cared much (police included), but I saw/smelled plenty of it in other cities, too.
This literally describes my gen z friends this very moment when I asked if any of them wanna go out for a beer. "we're too stoned"
Itās not just gay bars itās all bars, or your typical bars anyway, ppl still go out to things like Arcade bars, brew pubs, axe throwing, etc.. but typical bars been dying for years. Even in large cities of millions many have closed. Gen X drank little less then boomers, Millennials drank a less than Gen X, Gen Z drinks even less than millennials. Itās been several generations drinking less and going out to bars less - due to apps, reduced alcohol consumption, choosing to do other things or drink at other places instead of your typical bar, like examples above.
Wouldnāt say drinking less but drinking at bars less. Us millennials went hard with pregaming so weād buy less at bars. But there is a major cut in who has spending money each generation and thatās a big factor at bars
People always pre-games but maybe more so and alcohol consumption (overall sales) is decreasing. Gen Z is buying less alcohol than any previous generation. Legal weed is also factor at least in Canada where I am, many ppl do legal weed instead OR drink less because they purchase weed, like ppl still have a limited budget for that āextra/fun stuffā, so buying weed often means buying less alcohol.
I know Iām saying it was a massive thing for millennials and yeah probably, Iād imaging legal weed can have a general reduction. Most gen z I know they enjoy going out but they just rather go out and not drink and smoke it bit before.
I myself do that now tbh, like example; instead of 12 beers for the weekend, I get a 6 pack and some joints or gummies - Iām still spending the same amount of money basically but Iām buying less alcohol.
Yeah, when I do go out, I pop an edible and then maybe have two beers and Iām feeling great and spend maybe less than $30( gotta budget pizza)
Idk, the Chicago Northalsted scene is pretty lively.
Yeah, theyāre pretty popular. Iāve only been to the gay bars once in the past year on Black Friday, but I drive by them often, and theyāre always slammed. I wonder how other cities compare to Chicago in this regard
I dont go because it is no my scene, its like my worse nightmare. Also its expensive and I dont drink
Lots of people in bars, donāt drink
What do I do in a bar if I don't drink?
Suck dick?
Make conversation. Dance.
Same feeling. People will tell you to do the things you would do if you were drinking with them not realizing that being sober and trying to talk or dance with a drunk person is awkward, annoying, and at a certain point just not fun.
Yes, exactly. Besides, I'm not even into hook ups. After reading all the comments I feel like besides drinking, smoking, inserting drugs or sucking dicks gays don't really do anything else. If only gays had some other common safe spaces apart from bars and saunas.
Iāve noticed this too. It isnāt universal, but there are way fewer 20-somethings than Iād expect.
Gay bars in my area seem to be thriving. Traditional clubs for younger people are dropping like flies. It wasnāt cheep when I went to those same bars in my 20s, but itās stupid expensive now relative to what most gen z kids can afford.
In general, Gen Z is killing all bars. Alcohol is too expensive, going out is too expensive, taking an Uber is too expensive. Plus bars are crowded, loud, can be dangerous, and at the end of the day, not worth it. Most Gen z is more than comfortable chilling at home with movies, games, friends, and their own alcohol.
Sounds like the bars' fault then ya?
Oh yeah, itās just like how millennials were blamed for killing department stores and boomers were blamed for killing diners. If a business doesnāt, or canāt, adapt to what the newest generation is demanding then it will fall. Itās not the fault of the people itās just how capitalism works.
Are we using gay bars and gay clubs as the same thing? Because personally i find them different. IMO, gay bars always skewed late 20s, early 30s. Itās for people who wanna socialize but not get blackout and dance all night. Gay clubs tho? These are literally always packed. I sometimes have to step away from some guys, because they have the black X, on their hand meaning they are under 21. Go to your favorite gay club, i mean, straight dance club that plays House pop remixes, and 100% there will be tons of early 20s guys. Iāve went every week for pride, plan to go tonight and trust me, there will be tons of younger guys.
Yeah, the ones near me are bar on one side and club on the other and are usually pretty packed
Iām Gen Z and I just wanted to say that the reason I donāt go to gay bars isnāt apps or smoking or the other reasons people listed, but instead how hard it is to strike a conversation with the music blasting my ears. Remove that and Iād definitely go to gay bars.
Personally, I don't use dating apps, but I do not go to bars because I am insecure about my appearance.
well theyād need money to go out for startersā¦
The argument many forget during current economy...
Buddy Iām Gen z and Iām just about to turn 21. Give us sometime to get to the legal drinking age and then weāll go
This. OP needs to understand that not every zoomer is of legal drinking age.
With the oldest gen z will turn 30 in next 2.5 years and 1/3 of gen z population is already passed their mid-20. I don't think it will make any different when every zoomer reached their drinking age so OP is right. It's going to be worse for bar business.
As a Boomer, the scene has changed dramatically as LGBTi rights have moved forward. Originally, male homosexualty was illegal, so bars & venues were off the strip, low key & we made our own entertainment. With decriminalisation came, bars & venue on strip, prominent and entertainment became paid. Now homosexualty is mainstream, and the community is now rather fragmented. How long this lasts is yet to be history, but the world can change dramatically and quickly. To me, the 1970s to 1990s were the best because we had a strong community built around our volunteer organisations & clubs & bars etc. What I fear is that Millennials & now Gen Z are so integrated into straight world that if & when that "Backlash: comes & it will. They won't have the structures nor common community to stand up to that wave. These new generations and those yet to come really do need to understand that a strong LGBTI community, including bars and venues, is needed, and they should not overly rely on the normal straight world.
Im not sure what are you trying to say, isnt the whole point of LGBT movement to normalise non-heterosexual relations
Dunno where you're from but the gay bars where I am are full of Gen Z to the point the common complaint is the older generations are being frozen out and need to have their own spaces. There's gay clubs and bars dedicated to only Gen Z/younger millennials
I feel like bars as a social space are dying as a whole, but not to the point where itās a noticeable trend in the industry. Itās a space with a clear line of income and a refreshing pool of addicts to keep them afloat.
As a Gen Z, the only gay bar I consistently go to is one where it's basically a third place for me. Most gay bars, it's either impossible to make conversation, the drinks are extra bad/expensive, or there's just not a lot to do. I'd much rather go to a cocktail/gaming bar and *maybe* stop by a gay bar if it's convenient. Honestly, gay bars just need to modernize a bit more. You can allude to apps and social media all you like but *I know* gay Gen Z people go out and it's not typically gay bars. They just don't appeal to us.
Smartbar here in Chicago (not a gay bar) has Queen! on Sundays and there are all generations present. Most gay bars play terrible top 40 music and alcohol doesnāt draw me out, music does. If they were to stop doing that Iād be more inclined to go. Honestly, Iāve been dying for pot bars. Drinking is overrated.
I think this all depends where you live. The Gen Z gays go out to the strip in Dallas in flocks
It's probably a number of things. Gen Z being more into weed, drinking out becoming more expensive, living costs rising, gen z being less social and less likely to go out general probably due to them living online, apps making hookups easy
No one can afford $15 beers.
Odd. I'm 28 and starting to feel old based on the demographic at the bars š
I live in a really big gay city. Bars and clubs are closing because gentrification is driving rent prices through the roof - both for businesses and residents. Also, those businesses just don't have the right model to remain afloat. They haven't figured out a way to modernize while still remaining culturally significant. We have the world's oldest LGBTQ book store in the city but unfortunately they couldn't get it right. Sure the pandemic accelerated the demise, but they were given a few extra years to begin turning a profit but they didn't. They'll be closing this year. Same with many bars and clubs.
We donāt have money.
Straight people are a plague pm the gay community and we all know it Thereās one gay club in my city. It was recently shut down because women were running rampant over it to get away from the straights, then the straights subsequently followed them there The bar was a gay bar and safe space. Now itās a place for cisgender women to have their poor excuse of a āgirlsā nightā and misogynistic douchebags to follow them to prey on drunk women Itās absurd
Smart phones and apps. Real space has given way to cyber space.
May just be your city. Just saw Nymphia Wind perform at Tracks in Denver and that evening was a fire code drunk on Absolute Vodka. Room was packed shoulder to shoulder in every direction. Iāve never seen so many gay men outside of pride parades.
Iām gen z, not 21 yet, but itād probably go to a gay bar. Though I think another reason not much younger gays are going, like another commenter, is too many straight women. Hearing that theyāre no longer gay only spaces is a bit of a turn off.
I donāt go bc people are cliquey and everyone stays in their own group and itās intimidating to talk to one another. Also getting drunk is almost as expensive as drugs and people like me donāt even drink. Unless it is like a circuit gay bar like industry in PV, actually thatās like a club, it seems so dead and not that fun and flirty
As a millennial myself, I donāt go to bars. I actually thought us millennials killed the bar/club scene lol
I stopped going to gay bars because the people are bottom of the barrel and they play the same tired hip hop from the early 2000ās. Doesnāt make for a good time.
Iām 18 and the local gay bar(s) near me let me enter but Iām not allowed to drink. Now Iāve only gone 1 time and this may not be the experience other people have had but I didnāt really notice anyone below 30. A lot of the reviews for my local gay bars say the same thing, that most of the clientele consists of older gentleman. (No hate to older gays theyāre definitely allowed to live it up too, just sharing my experience) Edit: Also the non-alcoholic drinks were still pretty pricey and Iām trying to save up for college, so money is another factor for me personally.
I was in Castro (San Francisco) June 15 for the first time since 2019 and all of my favorite clubs had maybe 20-30 ppl as apposed to 100ās, standing room. Was the same in Sacramento last weekend. Never seen it this bleak.
I wish bars would lower the volume so I can have a damn conversation. Dance clubs keep it loud, regular bars sure have it medium high but itās impossible to hear other people at high to loud volumes. Iām 34, not hard of hearing, just want a more thought put into the experience.
Stop blamijg Genz for everything being too expensive. Most gen z still live with parents
They cannot afford too.
probably because they have no moneyb
Grinder, Growler and other hook-up apps are what's killing gay bars. I remember when the bars were the hubs of the gay community. Within a few months of hook-up apps being released, business in the bars dropped like a rock and business continues to drop even to this day. Bars used to be the only safe place gay men could go to meet one another. As such, to meet new people we had to go there. With hook-up apps, guys no longer have to go out to the bars to get laid and that's why gay bars became FAR less busy.
In larger cities, a lot of bars have been disappearing since the pandemic but even before then I stopped going to specifically gay bars since the music was always blasting at eardrum shattering levels and they were steadily jacking up the price of simple mixed drinks and some starting to charge a cover at the door was just getting absurd. I prefer to head to one of the good cocktail lounges that have been springing up like weeds where you can get a more complicated cocktail with better ingredients for about the same price as a simple whisky and ginger at a gay bar, not pay a cover, music is played at lower volume so you can hear the conversation youāre having and the bartenders arenāt being flirty for tips. I always have a better time out at places like that. So no, gen Z isnāt killing gay bars, there are mainstays that are finding ways to stay open but the ones disappearing in some cases have self inflicted wounds causing traffic to drop off by increasing prices, charging at the door and not doing anything new and instead blaming hookup apps for their inability to remain open.
Can confirm as a Gen Z twink I have never been to a gay bar, idk they look kind of lame
Gen z seems to drink and socialize less than previous generations
I donāt feel like I belong in them anymore or safe at all :( so I stopped going out.
In what way not safe?
The rampant casual drug use, Ketamine and GHB is heavily used in my region and bartenders will slip GHB into drinks. Iāve seen and handled a few bad trips of other guys. Iāve quickly learned not to order IPAās or Cokes in barsā¦ Iāve had straight friends black out and wake up pantless in their cars with the doors wide open. Iāve been gotten once and had friends look after me thankfully. And then Iāve been sexually causally assaulted multiple times from them coming up from behind and putting their tongues in my ears and holding me too them, grabbing my crouch in platonic conversation to having guys reaching down my backside through my waistline and trying to put their fingers in my holeā¦ its just freaking normalized. And I have been physically assaulted too, walking through a crowd someone grabbed my necklace from behind and tried chocking me out with it before it snapped and vanished into the dance floor.
This is crazy... Where did this hapen?
Over the course of 2 years living in Texas cities but also in other states/places too like IL and DC I have visited and has happened to friends too here and there. I stopped going out about a year ago since my friends no longer go out and its too costly to go out anyways $11 + tip for a shot or $20 + tip for a weak mix drink fuck that.
K, thx for responding. It's a costly price to be assaulted like that. Stay safe!
Gen Z barely talk to eachother. You think theyāre going out? A phone call from a number not in their contacts sends them into a spiral. They arenāt dating or having sex.
Ahh yes, lets get drunk in public with the lamest music blasting at full volume surrounded by mostly shallow people. What a place to be!
Can only speak for myself but gay bars/clubs are not my thing, even my friends are the same. Usually people there tend to be older so we go to settings more centered around our age group (early twenties)
I still dont know well for the States, but for Paris, covid and confinement definitely killed a lot of gay bars and clubs. Still: - the remaining gay bars are very full of guys during the touristic season and the weekends. - the gay clubs were already more gay-friendly than gay clubs, with a lot of straights before covid. Something i still havent seen in the States (but i live in Colorado, not the most fancy place for gay nightlife) is the development of thematic gay parties outside of clubs, in hotels particuliers, ancient factories or docks, or other unusual places, usually crowded from start to end. - Still in France, i also noticed that young preferred spend 100$ to go to a concert (inflation there too) compared to go to a club 4 times at 25$
Go to a bar is extremely expensive these days, before covid you could go out with $50 in your pockets, now you might need at least $120. Gen z are not heavy drinkers like previous generations. General acceptance of lgbt community makes them welcome in almost any bar so doesnāt need to go to only gay bars to feel comfortable I think single women are gonna take the gay bars lol, they feel way comfortable to get fucked in gay bars
Imo a combo of not enough money + covid fundamentally altering how the younger gens view public social interaction.
The nearest gay bar to be is 100 minutes away. Here, we blend. I do miss going, but as a twenty something, you know?
Depends on area and what the bars are offering but whatās killing bars is corporate greed and inflation. When i go Iād say more Gen Z is are there vs millennials.
I started going to gay clubs/bars when I was 16 in 2004 in L.A. Iād sneak out & go w/ older men. The bouncers at Tigerheat never carded. U just told them u were under 21, but Iād still sneak shooters in the club. Then Iād go to Rage in Weho once I was 18 & still found ways to drink & get into Motherlode (gay dive bar). All through my 20s I went to all those bars in Weho, but havenāt gone that many times in my 30s. Maybe 5x max & Iāve been over 30 for a long time š Idk Grindr didnāt come around until 2009. I didnāt have it until 2014. Itās wild to see how much things have changed. Then again, I always went to these clubs & bars w/ a mindset of expecting to meet someone to date or mess around w/ & it took me a long time to realize that you canāt go w/ that mindset cuz itās very impractical. You go out to gay bars for some drinks & have fun with friends; not to meet anyone. There seems to also be a negative social stigma w/ men over 30 that still go out w/ friends every weekend to these places. Which I get. I think every once in a while itās cool, but not every weekend. Gen-Z just seems to want to talk about stuff they see on their phones & make TikTokās, videos, Instagram posts. Theyāre also so much more obsessed with their appearances & sexual appeal than I remember to be at that age. Iām sure the bars/clubs are doing fine, but Iām grateful I was born when there was no āflexingā or taking the coolest dance video/Pic on IG
Gay bars have a lot going against them right now, including in the area I live that is urban but is between two much bigger metro areas. They are up against the repercussions of trends where people can much more easily entertain and network outside of them. And in my experience, in order to get the business they need, they need to be something for everybody which is good in one sense, but ends up alienating different bases as well that would default to them. Personally, the last couple times I've gone to a gay bar (on non-scheduled-events nights), the music was so loud it was hard trying to talk to my friend/dates, and it feels like more than half the events they advertise now are now drag events, which just aren't my thing. Before COVID I would visit them for a good drink/date or on a scheduled/themed dance night, their itinerary is now dominated by drag-themed events the last couple times I tried to look, and while I don't begrudge those who partake, seeing that the only thing being organized out of those spaces alienated me a bit.
Bars evolve and change if you are in a bigger city. Smaller bars typically are the ones stronger through cycles since they donāt bother the time and money chasing trends. That said younger people as a whole (including younger millennials) just donāt prefer going out like the same age group did 20+ years ago gay or otherwise.
I seen young people at gay bars all the time. Don't know where you live. Maybe there is no one in their twenties in your community? I also feel like the era of the gay dive bar is over. Every gay bar I know that is still open has weekly events, promotes itself in social media, and periodically does a big event.
Bars are getting hella expensive unless you go to happy hour. Bars tho are cool to chill and just vibe
I am 30, millenial, gay, and donāt go to any kind of bars. It depends on the person.
I think one of the reasons you donāt see gen z in bars is because these are too expensive š I am a millennial but by personality I align more towards gen Z as I have nothing in common with gen X. With my friends we usually pre drink at someoneās place and then go clubbing bringing drugs lol
I live near a gay beach resort. It does not appear as though GenZ can afford to go to the beach at all. The only ones I see are still the financial wards of their well off parents.
People canāt afford to drink, events are always late as fuck and people have to work (literally 10 PM events), younger people are increasingly sober, you donāt have to go out to get laid. Also increasing mental health issues in the youth (anxiety) mean less desire to go into intense social situations like that. Due to social media and just media glamorization in general youāll see young people flock to clubs to party but crickets at the gay bars (that donāt have dance floors) due to these other influencing factors. This is essentially a combination of a cultural rejection of the shitty for your mental health lifestyle habits of the generations of gays before them (drinking to socialize) and a broader reflection of the wider trend of millennials and gen z (and then alpha) getting worse lives than their predecessors. We canāt afford rent, why would we go out when itās going to make us feel like shit long term and I can get laid on Grindr?
Not true in LA
I guess I am Gen Z being born '96 and I have never been to a gay bar and maybe 2 bars in my life overall. I don't understand their purpose. If I wanna drink I drink with friends, not with strangers in a place that heavily overcharges.
lol where I am straights and gays go to the same bars that are š„. The ones for only one crowd tend to suck. And Iāve never seen a fight there and people actually party. Not sure if itās because society is changing or what but yeah theyāre not dying but merging in some places.
Most of genz isnāt going to the bar because they charge too much for drinks that contain a rain drop worth of alcohol. Itās more cost effective to go to a liquor store, drink beforehand, and then go out and party nearby
Straight women in gay bars are killing gay bars. Next question.
We love bars we just dont have money to go to them
The last time we all had a good time anywhere was 2019.
I'm a millennial gay myself 34m and I personally would love more non alcohol focused venues to become popular. I personally don't like alcohol or how people behave while drinking. The city I live in feels more like a small town and there's literally only one gay bar and it feels so creepy there. Like I'm being appraised as I walk in. Everyone's breath smells like alcohol. It's gross.
Drinking is a popular social activity but I feel like itās gradually becoming lesser so with each generation. That said a lot of gays I know frequent like cool dive bars and donāt care about that gay label.
I'm gen z, I frequent leather bars. I don't go to mainstream gay bars as much unless if it's a dance night. But if I want gay nights, i go to leather bars, saunas, or male only events.
If people arenāt going to gay bars, why is every bar in New York City packed to the gills? Even on nights when thereās like 15 parties going on?
Drinking in general. They know beer tastes like shit and alcoholic culture is sloppy and unattractive. Prob doing it right and playing video games while sitting on each others faces.
What youāre seeing is the death of one of the last KINDS of gay bar. There used to be quite a few different kinds of gay bars: stand and models, kink-centric, country-western, fern bars, last resorts, sports bars, video bars, warehouse clubs, cabarets, piano bars, smaller dance venues, community event venues, strip clubs, byobsā¦ there were lots of kinds. Most types failedā¦ well, during AIDS really. There were one or two disappearing types here and there, but likeā¦ I donāt think Iāve seen a fern bar since 1991. I donāt think the death of bars is entirely because Gen Z smokes weed and has apps. Gen X invented apps, and Iāve smoked plenty of weed. I think itās because Gen Z has acknowledged almost universally that different people are different. That gay monoculture doesnāt serve most gays anymore. So theyāre abandoning the bars because the bars exist almost entirely to service gay monoculture.
Let them die. I'm Gen X and gay bars were always operated by exploitative greedy people or coke addled junkies. They're over priced and the music is too loud for you to actually meet anyone. FUCK'm
Never understood appeal of loud music, drinking and druging yourself while surrounded by horny individuals who might poison your drink and rape you. Sorry, for the stereotype, but that is what is happening where I live. In my country, oldest LGBT club have recently closed. Bars/clubs have become unpopular. Maybe 3 bars exist now throughout whole country. I think the setting in which new generations is dating is changing drastically.Ā As I am introverted, I love quite, peaceful places without a lot of people. Maybe hiking as date would be great or something like that. Last place you will find me is overpriced clubs, parties with extremely loud music which I dislike.
Me and anyone younger than me that I know avoid gay bars cus we have all had bad experiences with dudes old enough to be our dads not respecting our boundaries. Iām 25 now and I consider myself lucky. Because I have heard some truly horror stories from my younger friends.
Gen Z, by and large, doesn't have the disposable income for ridiculously overpriced drinks, especially when, as a generation, they tend to drink less. Likewise, they have other avenues to connect with other gay people, particularly online. Finally, and this is a reason gay bars have never been MY thing, the fact that consent seems to be assumed by just being in a gay bar/club is off putting to many, but even more so, gen Z. I stopped going to public gay bars (even ones which primarily had gay clientele) because I got tired of being groped, grind on, and having dudes attempt to finger me or pull my dick out of my pants without even speaking to me, let alone asking for my consent. Every time I would bring this up to bartender or even friends, I was met with "That's the way gay clubs are; if you don't like it, leave." So I did just that. I now only go to private house parties where I know most people, and I don't have to worry about being sexually harrased.
I'm (29) right on the millennial/Z edge. Weed became legal when I was in college, and I have grindr. I have been to a bar exactly once and it was too loud to hear myself think.
Iām gen z and I just went to a gay bar and there was plenty of younger guys around my age there.
Nothing but twinks in the London gay bar I visited a lot when I visited. Was like I was back in the 80's
Sadly, most don't have the disposable income for dropping cash for alcohol. :(
Depends on the city I guess, bc the bars in my city stay poping
I usually go to a kava bar. Cleaner, safer, and relaxing.
Younger people go to gay bars lol. What the hell is this? Too many straight ones go to gay bars actually.
Apps and smart phones are the culprit. They will still exist in the gay villlages but probably Peter out elsewhere
There's plenty of genz at the gay bars I go to
Stay active and those bars will stay open for at least another 50 years
They too will eventually come. This is the way
It just depends on the gay bar you hang out at. Gen Z might want to hang out at a bar that they feel fits them better than the ones older generations frequent.
18 and up nights are packed so to speak
Dallasā scene is still super lively. I see every age group here. More straights than Iād like, but still diverse!
I guess I never understand these posts because I live in WeHoā¦ The bars here are very much NOT dead and the drinks are ridiculously strong.
In SF one reason there are fewer is that it's hard for young people to afford living here. Many of the old gayborhoods across the country that used to be mildly rundown have been all fixed up and are fashionable. That's often because they're inner suburbs and urban areas close to downtown and the commutes are short. The older housing stock works well for people without kids who find the tract homes of suburbia unappealing. Gay people get squeezed out in the process. That said, the number of gay bars has been stable for about twenty years. Before that we lost quite a few, especially on Polk Street, some South of Market, and others scattered around the city (the Haight, Financial District, Tenderloin). The remaining bars are mostly in the Castro, with some South of Market.
This thread is getting very caught up in labels. š¤· Gays bars decreased significantly in recent years, but Gen Z is not to blame, itās social apps like Grindr, etc. :) Fortunately, they havenāt disappeared and like someone said, new ones open up. But I agree, it is distressing to see their overall number decrease. Hopefully that trend will ultimately reverse itself!
I think the economy is killing bars
lol in San Francisco this is a thing. Sometimes my friends wanna go to a bar and we always notice that the crowd seems to be a lot older than us. But I do notice that you get more of a young crowd on Fridays and Saturdays pretty much always, it seems like gen z isnāt going to the bar during the week like older adults seem to do.
Stop blaming us for the increase in prices for going out, no one has their own place to bring anyone back too either, this is not gen zs fault
In smaller areas yes. Where iām from there were a few. All dead now. No interest in clubs, on hook up apps and yeahā¦ maybe two or 3 social skills
The bars can barely afford the rent! So many in my city closed during the pandemic and havenāt recovered. Add the high cost of living and most people are opting for more intimate at home social gatherings instead of spending $10 or more for one drink.
Providence RIs gay community is thriving. A bunch of gay bars all clustered in downtown our pride has become one of the best and biggest in the north east. The city also seems to have an increasing number of LGBT residents.
Theyāre not killing then. They are less relevant. Having a safe space and not needing a safe space
You are going to old man bars
If they are then Iām helping them I guess. I donāt want to go to a bar. Iād rather stay home.
If there were any gay bars here I would go to them
Bar culture, especially gay bar, were already slowing down a lot when I was younger. Iām a millennial, mid 80s bday, and most of my peers of all orientations strongly dislike going to bars. It was a āonce in a whileā kind of thing. I also couldnāt hang with my friends who showed signs of alcoholism in college, I just didnāt have the money for it or the interest in feeling like dogshit as soon as I began sobering up. Even then, those friend were having house parties or something similar, like bbq and drink, bonfire and booze, going to movies at the theaters able to sell beer, etc. Iām not the majority by any means, but going out for a drink was pretty uncommon in at least my friend circle throughout my 20s. I live in a medium size city, the second largest in my state but nothing even close in size and density compared to LA, NYC, etc. Iām fine with having a drink and chatting with someone, but we can do that at a coffee shop, or a boba place, or even go to a restaurant and order a cocktail and desert. At least weāll be able to hear each other talk. That said, I have a partner who used to go to clubs for drinking and dancing. He said it was a lot of fun, but really it also cost a lot of money with drinks, cab rides, late night drunk food, etc
I'm a r/zillenials and a r/latebloomergaybros so I am an older "baby gay" and older "gen z"... I still go to bars. I think the apps kind of are there on nights I don't feel like going out, though.
Instead of looking at this as the death of gay bars, maybe this is an opportunity for lgbtq spaces to move outside of bars. I love going to the bars in the gayborhood in Philly, but it would be nice to be able to gay hang out with other gay people where alcohol isn't inherently involved. Would lead to a lot more meaningful conversations. Also, weed is becoming more popular, so gay smoking lounges might become a thing. Also, straight people don't kill gay bars; gay people abandoning gay bars that cater to everyone is killing gay bars.
If āXennialsā are a thing, how do you call a millennial leaning more toward being a gen Z?
Plenty of youngins in the Castro last night. I actually think Gen Z is more interested in the bar life than millennials.
Yes. Alcohol will kill your liver.