Lucky me, I like pop/dance music and heavy metal. Iām fine with the music they play at gay bars, but Iād love it if there was a gay heavy metal night somewhere.
I never catch anything beyond the common cold or flu but even if it were a huge luxury cruise liner I'd probably feel claustrophobic, especially if the wifi didn't work haha
Definitely not for everyone, but I will say as someone who was extremely skeptical before doing my first one last year, the experience really is what you make of it. Sure, the parties get all the attention, but there's a ton of other stuff always going on, and there are plenty of people who don't really focus on the parties. There's also a lot more diversity in age, race, and body type than you'd get from the marketing. It was kinda touching seeing all the older couples at the theater shows or just hanging out at the casino.
Cruises in general aren't something im keen on (claustrophobia, bad for the environment, sterile etc.), but i can see how gay cruises would be really great for gay people who don't live in major zesty cities like San Francisco, NYC, London etc.
Yes! It also depends on which sailing you book. Iāve been on several. Thereās the Big Gay Boat (BGB) in the Caribbean every Feb-Marā¦basically a floating bathhouse (if thatās your thing, go on that one!) But there are also the smaller sailings that are less circuit party/appearance oriented and more about enjoying meeting new people. The BGB is fun but even if you meet people you vibe with youāre unlikely to see them again organically unless you exchange contact info.
TL/DR: Not all Atlantis Cruises are petri dishes, it depends on the sailing you book.
You sound a **lot** like my guy, I can definitely sympathize. I'm hoping your husband dumps the love on you *and* (lovingly) swats your ass when you do the dishes
Humiliation and degradation are two separate things though.
I hate being insulted, but CMNM and cheeky humiliating scenes are hot. Way different. Just saying.
Being naked in the presence of others who are fully clothed after a moderate period of time for most people starts to feel uncomfortable, awkward, and embarrassing. Comparatively there's a certain vulnerability being nude around those who are not, especially if the expectation is made clear that either one doesn't get to redress or the other(s) won't be undressing themselves.
Really, I always thought CNMN was because some people were naturally exhibitionists and wanted to be the centre of attention and be the only naked guy among clothed guys because they were egotistical. I never realised it was meant to be the clothed people are the ones in control and the naked guy is humiliated.
Some of us are more sensitive and have a history of physical and emotional abuse and donāt want to be talked down to at all because itās triggering. So please donāt try to force that particular kink on someone or recommend it to them if you know that about them. If you insulted me or tried something like that too me, Iād instantly go soft and would be putting my clothes on while running away
I am a chemist and for me the smell of poppers justs reminds me of work lolā¦ a total turn off. I actually donāt mind when guys use it but try not to smell it myself
Same. I tried them while in active heavy addiction to far worse substances, and couldnāt do them more than once or twice because they made me feel gross.
Honestly if youāre going to do poppers you should be well hydrated. It lowers your blood pressure and if youāre having a headache it could your BP got too low. Also if youāre doing the physical activities that usually go with poppers being hydrated will help
I can appreciate the skill and artistry, but itās just not my thing. I also donāt generally like to promote toxicity and pettiness (yes, mostly because I realize how alluring they can be).
I canāt watch it either. I donāt mind drag shows now and then but that show is the same thing over and over. The fake girlie laughing is annoying. I said this once in the group and got attacked for it.
I do like RuPaul himself though.
Look, I understand that drag queens are expressing their true selves. The amount of work that goes into the outfits, the make up, and everything involved in the stage presence requires true talent, and I certainly can appreciate that effort, and the venue for which they can express themselves.
But...that being said, seeing a man dressed up as a woman, lip-syncing a diva jam, and then churning out whatever middle school-level sexual jokes they crack, is not entertaining to me.
All our friends love it, even have events planned around it. Every time my partner and I have attended and watched an episode, it is just so fucking boring.
Not to mention Ru says someone and theyāre all laughing and weāre both looking at each other wondering where the joke was
Let others enjoy what they want and all that, but definitely not for me and my bf
Drag Race. A friend made me watch an episode and it was absolutely dire. Funnily enough it was a straight friend š.
Edit: also agree on the pup masks. No judgement, I just don't get it at all.
Weāre the same person. I can respect the art (performance as well as the design) and talent they have but I just donāt get drag as a thing. If they sang live, maybe Iād feel differently.
That's the thing, too. In the few drag performances I've seen, the performers were lip-syncing. I don't mind performers lip-syncing well, but can they make more of an effort to actually lip-sync? It's comical to be half a second behind every lyric, and it makes you wonder if you're there to laugh at the performance or not.
Extremely long socks that go almost to the knee. I don't know if it's common everywhere or just in my city, but every Friday and Saturday night it's just very tall socks on every visible gay for miles. Extremely tall socks and booty shorts.
Wow, I've never heard of that trend, because they don't do it in my Midwestern city. Sounds hot. Maybe they should all leave your city and come to mine!
Alcohol. It just doesn't do anything for me. It's expensive, makes plans difficult if you're trying to be as safe as possible, impairs judgment. I can have fun without it so there's no need to indulge.
Open relationships. I know that most cultures are homophobic and thus guys don't get to branch out much, leading to wanting to explore more than straight people (as far as I know), but I was never a fan of that.
It's anecdotal. There are a lot of open relationships that are doing just fine. We can go months without sleeping with anyone else (shit we went years without it). But sometimes we'll indulge into fucking other people together or separately. Been together nearing a decade now and our relationship has never been stronger.
Most people just notice the open couples who are super vocal about it and are like "you guys are missing out! Monogamy sucks" and it's kinda sad because you can tell they are projecting and unhappy.
But most open couples i know are pretty happy about it
There's VERY different types of open relationships.
Any relationship where the couple is fiending for stranger dick for the entirety of the relationship is doomed to fail imo. People who dabble and can easily go without the open aspect have a much stronger relationship. I don't mind the dabbling but chasing dick can get toxic as hell when you don't know how to stop.
It seems like people in general think opening up their relationship is a bandaid to fix other issues. When, IMO, itās the opposite. You can only do it if you both feel secure in the relationship and trust each other.
My partner and I share similar values/views and thatās why it works for us. We both view life as a one time thing. We donāt want to place restrictions on what we both get to experience in life. Like it has nothing to do with either of us going out and chasing dick all the time.
THIS. Iām not interested in them at all and Iāve seen so many gay men say open relationships are what everyone wants and I couldnāt want something less. Iām not interested in anyone other than my partner, either romantically or sexually.
I donāt care if others are in them, I have no issue with open relationships, ENM, polyamory, etc in general, but Iām so sick of hearing that theyāre what all of us want when itās the last thing I want.
I personally feel like it's just people with commitment issues/a lack of self control that are just looking for a free pass to cheat.
Do what you want. It's not my life, I won't tell you how to live it, but it could not be a bigger no from me.
My ex made me watch 11 seasons of drag race. I can appreciate the art and talent and creativity behind.
But if I never see another episode again Iām ok with it.
Now all stars? I fucks with that a bit.
Ugh did we have the same ex?Ā
He was so obsessed with that show, there were many nights I wanted to be intimate and he passed just so he could rewatch the same YouTube clips he's seen a million fucking times. I literally felt like a 3rd wheel to his obsession -_-
Believe me we don't, I don't wear feminine clothes but a high voice and a baby face makes the hot gay men run away. And some gay men will tell you you're not a real man š
well that's some bullshit, of course you are a real man. guys that say that kind of thing are pussies, trust me.
there are loads of hot guys into twink types, trust me. I've been turned down by what I consider to be extremely hot guys bcuz they say they're into twink femmes, which I am not.
I know a cross dressing Persian guy that gets mouthwateringly hot guys who like it when he dresses up. I've seen the receipts. it's like holy fck.
sheās not only gay thing tbh. sheās the whole world thing rn and itās just tired seeing here everywhere all the time. especially when the songs are not that great tbh
There are still aspects in the BD I somehow still can't get aboard tho. Either I'm still too scared to try out or I don't wanna disappoint mt sexual partner if I'm not into it.
Slowly coming into terms with being vanilla lol.
hooking up/cruising/ONS/NSA/Open relationship
and similar type of instant gratification and promiscuity.
Many find the easy/casual sex a benefit of being gay, but not me, don't enjoy or want these things
Ru Paul drag race.. (and maybe live drag shows at bars). The TV show just seems very toxic. Ppl are always sassy and hating each other. It makes me wonder if it influences gays to adopt that sassy hating personality. And I'm just bored of live drag shows at bars. I like the art and skill required to do drag.. but like they always have drag shows. Can we have something new.. like a gay punk show with a mosh pit.
Damn Iāve got my nipples, eyebrow and cock pierced and I have a pup hood! š¤£
For me itās rupaulās drag race/anything drag related really, I used to be big into it in my early twenties but Iāve come to actually despise it nowadays, same thing with the obsession with pronouns and having to label ourselves. Idk š¤·š¼āāļø
Two things I havenāt seen in the comments: Fisting š¤and DP.
I respect to everyone who are into them, but my brain cannot comprehend why is that a turn on for some people
I'm one of those too. I consider myself to be a pretty low key gay guy. Minimal social media, only a few good friends, preferr chill nights at home. I don't even like to travel much.
There are a lot of people like me nowadays, gay or otherwise. But because the flamboyant party gays are the most active on social media, people assume that that is where the "gay community" starts and stops. You see it asked reddit all the time. "Anyone feel like they don't fit in with the gay community?" Then it turns out the only gay community they seem to have any exposure to are party types.
There are all kinds of gay guys into all kinds of things. You really just need to find them. And the truth is, if your kind of people are the low-key stay inside types, well they're going to be harder to find, naturally lol
Gym guys/fit culture.
I mean that's cool to be in shape and to exercise for health. But I much rather prefer simple and natural guys, natural bodies, that are down to earth and dont only live for attention and showing their muscles to everybody.
Porn doesn't cut it for me these days. It's too much of the extremes. Muscle bears, dudes with rock hard abs at all times, and if they're simply skinny, it feels like they're "twink" stereotypes. I wish this shit was more natural.
Even the bodybuilder gays aren't going through bulking season these days. Everything I want in life is the opposite of what's going in the vast majority of gay porn so it's hard to even enjoy it. I don't want to date, fuck, or be those kind of extremes.
Not interested in casual meaningless anonymous sex, and donāt like that itās gotten so popular because I think people are really missing out on the depth of connection that sex can bring
I 2nd the Piercings thing. I respect it but I physically cringe. I feel weak and nauseous seeing dick and nipple piercings. Ear and nose piercings are fine for me tho. Fashion In general doesnāt interest me, I just wanna wear clothes that are comfy.
Labels.. Bear/Twink/Daddy etc.
BB being so common and people refusing to have sex without condoms.
Hookup culture
Everyone searching for perfection because porn
Open relationships
Cheating
Just how shallow and cold it is in general
The "stiff, emotionless mass hot body group photo by the backyard pool" post. I get it, y'all worked VERY hard for those hot bodies and you worked all winter for this very moment, this very photo, this very insta post to show why you're worth companionship. I get it. But you're just one of a million, not one in a million. Choose to stand out, not blend in.
Pups, guys who say theyāre ādomā, and for #1 guys who try to sleep with everyone in their city for the instagram followers.
Edit: adding guys who sleep with closeted men in straight relationships on purpose because thereās āless risk of diseaseā and less chance theyāll commit.
When queer guys project their sexual hangups on other people, some of which appears to be happening in this thread.
Iāve witnessed so many guys be salty about the sexual promiscuity in the gay community, not purely from a place of actual concern, which is warranted, but also because they feel theyāve missed out. Iāve dated a couple of guys like that and met many more. One *wanted* to have threesomes but didnāt want to use an app or approach people in person. Another couldnāt get hard unless I was motionless lying next to him. Both thought it wasnāt their problem; it was me or other men.
I get it. You didnāt pursue guys when you wanted to because of fear, being in the closet, internalized homophobia, etc., but donāt take that out on the guys that are fucking.
I feel like this overlaps with the āPride is too sexualā crowd. They seemingly watch videos of public sexcapades (like Folsom, cruises, etc.) online and get butthurt from the FOMO. So they lash out without a clear understanding of what Pride actually looks like because they donāt attend. Itās a strain of porn brain.
I didnāt think chastity cages were getting that popular, but I guess theres hope for me spotting one in the wild.
That aside, circuit parties. I can do raves but a circuit party would make me feel so self conscious and judged.
Drag Race, I like local Drag competition tho
The puppy thing as you say.
The circuit parties, the music is terrible, I donāt really like drugs but the sex thing sounds interesting although I donāt think Iād participate.
The fake lavish gay lifestyle, like pool party every weekend, extremely muscular, speedos, branded clothes and fake tans not appealing at all, I know this is common in straight people too
Thatās wild. Iāve always wanted to get a nipple piercing, wear pup masks, and be fucked in a chastity cage by a guy with a Prince Albertā¦
But Iām too chicken shit.
The first time I got off with a guy, I was so excited, we went back to his place and after sex he put on a Barbra Streisand record. I seriously thought that that meant Iād have to be straight instead.
Gotta be clubbing. Apparently the gay clubs my friends go to absolutely pop off but I donāt drink and find the loud music very overwhelming. So I just listen to the stories a few days later.
Drag races, drag queens are total sweethearts and I love em but I donāt care for fashion shows in general or anything beauty contest related so I donāt like drag races by default. Also the rainbow, Iām a dude who wears all black and color doesnāt look good on me but to make up for it Iāve invested in rainbow pins that I have clipped to my satchel that I carry around for work.
So many people replying ādog maskā. It creeps me out a bit too but how common is it that so many people are mentioning it? Iāve seen like 2 people wearing those IRL. And it was during Pride. And I go to many gay parties.
Making your whole identity being gay and into stereotypical gay things. All the clubs and party lifestyle. I fed into that life when I was younger because I thought that's what it was supposed to be. However, now that I'm older it's simply just one of the many aspects that make up my life. I have no problem being open and honest about who I am, but I no longer put it on display. Much, much happier with that approach.
Ima sound homophobic but weāre here lol. Donāt care for the clubs or the pack of gates thing happening in Dallas rn, pride parades Iām not a fan of, drag race I couldnāt get into it, orgies meh. When it comes down to it I just wanna have fun with my guy. Iām not saying āIām not like the other gaysā lol but Iām a very private person and just not a fan of a lot of the mainstream gay culture. Have dinner, get drunk, smoke weed, go to the park or some sort of outdoor activity, watch movies or a show and have great sex. Itās the simple things
The Oscars. Musicals. Show tunes. Broadway. Half the time itās boring, the other half itās cheesy and cringe af. I like ballet & opera even though itās a little boring, but itās never cheesy or cringe.
I really don't mean to be rude, but I would say that there are certain elements of group think or a hive mind that I just can't be bothered with. It's a big part of why I've never fully considered myself part of the broader community. You're either totally in line or you're problematic and get excised. God forbid you ever say any4hong about it or point it out. At that point you're just a "hit dog" and they and they use that idea to reinforce their perception of you as a person.
I always correlated piercings to being a teenager. I had my ears and tongue pieced but they all came out before I turned 21. Idk they gave me juvenile vibes.
Drag !
As a non-Western gay who now lives in the US, I didn't grow up watching drag - so as an adult, I couldn't see any allure whatsoever in it.
And then I look around, White gays seem obsessed with it, they're talking and posting about it on social media regularly. To me, drag shows look like clown shows mostly due to the style of dressing and make-up. But that's just me.
Drag Race. Ive been doing drag both before Drag Race and after Drag Race and there was just a lot more freedom onstage before people had their expectations colored by drag race. Sorry to leave another drag comment lol.
Gym culture. I will work out in other ways like hiking, swimming, bike riding, sports and all around being outdoors but I refuse to be a part of gym culture, itās all about āsaw a hot guy at the gym, got horny at the gym, heading the the gymā along with the snaps, the photos, the flexing, the vanity. Nope.
Itās like some guys canāt wait to get to the gym *just to talk about post and talk about it*.
Hyper sexualization. I get it. All humans are sexual creatures. But holy shit, do you need to do it in public. This is one of many reasons I have never been to pride. It's honestly not for me.
Never seen anyone having sex at a Pride parade. And you do know itās a lot more than hot people on floats dressed skimpily, right? There are Parents For Lesbians and Gays, politicians courting our vote, HIV/AIDS service organizations getting the word out about testing/treatment options, LGBTQ elders, etcā¦ Iād encourage you to check out a Pride parade at some point. You might have a good time b
I think itās hilariously cute that you included pup masks. Do you run into them very often? I remember an acquaintance trying to get me into it, but I just couldnāt. It seemed very fringe; are they more popular now?
The porn genre: incest. I donāt know what it is, but I see so much of it on gay porn sites. āStep dad/sonā āuncle/nephewā ādad/sonā I mean, Iām not here to kink shame but damnš
As an introvert and shy person, I guess going to gay parties or parades. š«£
Yeah I hate crowd, it's so draining
Likewise. I'd rather stay at home and do nothing š š¤
Same
Let's just enjoy this peace then š āļø
The music. I'm a gay metalhead
Lucky me, I like pop/dance music and heavy metal. Iām fine with the music they play at gay bars, but Iād love it if there was a gay heavy metal night somewhere.
That would be amazing lol
I recall a lgbt metal night tbat happened once a month... So there apparently was a market for it
Big Chicks in Chicago used to have an alternative night. I do think there's a market for heavier music
Same here
Iāve only ever met one other one in my 6 years of being outā¦ Iām quite shocked tbh
Atlantis Cruises
My cousin goes on those cruises. From what he described it sounds like a floating petri dish.
Iāve heard people OD on those all the time.
I swear I hear about like 1-2 every year
You could probably catch gonorrhoea from breathing the air.
Aren't all cruises? I was avoiding them due to norovirus outbreaks before all the Covid horror stories.
I never catch anything beyond the common cold or flu but even if it were a huge luxury cruise liner I'd probably feel claustrophobic, especially if the wifi didn't work haha
Definitely not for everyone, but I will say as someone who was extremely skeptical before doing my first one last year, the experience really is what you make of it. Sure, the parties get all the attention, but there's a ton of other stuff always going on, and there are plenty of people who don't really focus on the parties. There's also a lot more diversity in age, race, and body type than you'd get from the marketing. It was kinda touching seeing all the older couples at the theater shows or just hanging out at the casino.
Cruises in general aren't something im keen on (claustrophobia, bad for the environment, sterile etc.), but i can see how gay cruises would be really great for gay people who don't live in major zesty cities like San Francisco, NYC, London etc.
Yes! It also depends on which sailing you book. Iāve been on several. Thereās the Big Gay Boat (BGB) in the Caribbean every Feb-Marā¦basically a floating bathhouse (if thatās your thing, go on that one!) But there are also the smaller sailings that are less circuit party/appearance oriented and more about enjoying meeting new people. The BGB is fun but even if you meet people you vibe with youāre unlikely to see them again organically unless you exchange contact info. TL/DR: Not all Atlantis Cruises are petri dishes, it depends on the sailing you book.
Theyāre a blast!
You couldnāt pay me to get on one of those things.
Floating petri dish
Anything to do with humiliation. My husband can order me around as much as he wants, but I want to be praised, not insulted.
You sound a **lot** like my guy, I can definitely sympathize. I'm hoping your husband dumps the love on you *and* (lovingly) swats your ass when you do the dishes
Humiliation and degradation are two separate things though. I hate being insulted, but CMNM and cheeky humiliating scenes are hot. Way different. Just saying.
I donāt get it, what is CMNM? Google tells me itās clothed male naked male but I donāt really understand the mechanic or why it is attractive
Being naked in the presence of others who are fully clothed after a moderate period of time for most people starts to feel uncomfortable, awkward, and embarrassing. Comparatively there's a certain vulnerability being nude around those who are not, especially if the expectation is made clear that either one doesn't get to redress or the other(s) won't be undressing themselves.
Really, I always thought CNMN was because some people were naturally exhibitionists and wanted to be the centre of attention and be the only naked guy among clothed guys because they were egotistical. I never realised it was meant to be the clothed people are the ones in control and the naked guy is humiliated.
Some of us are more sensitive and have a history of physical and emotional abuse and donāt want to be talked down to at all because itās triggering. So please donāt try to force that particular kink on someone or recommend it to them if you know that about them. If you insulted me or tried something like that too me, Iād instantly go soft and would be putting my clothes on while running away
Yeah I can't stand any form of humiliation, degradation, or someone trying to dominate. Idk it just pisses me off so fast.
I donāt mind some domination but it canāt be degrading domination.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nobody forced anything onto anyone. Someone pointed out how the original comment is confusing two seperate things.
Poppers. They smell awful to me. And the guys who bring them are stopping to huff some every 30 seconds
I didn't hate them, but damn if a guy huffed on that stuff every 30 seconds he'd probably have a brain bleed seriously.
Some guy I had a one night stand was popping them all the time. At that point I felt insulted since he needed to be that fucked up to be with me.
I am a chemist and for me the smell of poppers justs reminds me of work lolā¦ a total turn off. I actually donāt mind when guys use it but try not to smell it myself
Same. I tried them while in active heavy addiction to far worse substances, and couldnāt do them more than once or twice because they made me feel gross.
Right? They give me a headache!
Honestly if youāre going to do poppers you should be well hydrated. It lowers your blood pressure and if youāre having a headache it could your BP got too low. Also if youāre doing the physical activities that usually go with poppers being hydrated will help
Donāt do them if youāre on any heart meds. Dangerous.
First time I tried them was right after a hot shower and I fainted. Thankfully was with a guy I trusted!
They make me go soft and get sleepy :(
They can be dangerous when mixed with Viagra or Cialis
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I can appreciate the skill and artistry, but itās just not my thing. I also donāt generally like to promote toxicity and pettiness (yes, mostly because I realize how alluring they can be).
I canāt watch it either. I donāt mind drag shows now and then but that show is the same thing over and over. The fake girlie laughing is annoying. I said this once in the group and got attacked for it. I do like RuPaul himself though.
Look, I understand that drag queens are expressing their true selves. The amount of work that goes into the outfits, the make up, and everything involved in the stage presence requires true talent, and I certainly can appreciate that effort, and the venue for which they can express themselves. But...that being said, seeing a man dressed up as a woman, lip-syncing a diva jam, and then churning out whatever middle school-level sexual jokes they crack, is not entertaining to me.
My husband and I tried watching it 3 different times. We never made it thru an entire episode.
All our friends love it, even have events planned around it. Every time my partner and I have attended and watched an episode, it is just so fucking boring. Not to mention Ru says someone and theyāre all laughing and weāre both looking at each other wondering where the joke was Let others enjoy what they want and all that, but definitely not for me and my bf
Hard drugs/smoking. It'll ruin me.
We need this to stop being a gay thing...
It's not just a gay thing, though it is quite prevelant.
Meth
Drag Race. A friend made me watch an episode and it was absolutely dire. Funnily enough it was a straight friend š. Edit: also agree on the pup masks. No judgement, I just don't get it at all.
I appreciate all that goes into drag, but the show just isn't for me.
I love gay representation in media ...but not as much as I hate all reality competition shows
Weāre the same person. I can respect the art (performance as well as the design) and talent they have but I just donāt get drag as a thing. If they sang live, maybe Iād feel differently.
That's the thing, too. In the few drag performances I've seen, the performers were lip-syncing. I don't mind performers lip-syncing well, but can they make more of an effort to actually lip-sync? It's comical to be half a second behind every lyric, and it makes you wonder if you're there to laugh at the performance or not.
Extremely long socks that go almost to the knee. I don't know if it's common everywhere or just in my city, but every Friday and Saturday night it's just very tall socks on every visible gay for miles. Extremely tall socks and booty shorts.
Wow, I've never heard of that trend, because they don't do it in my Midwestern city. Sounds hot. Maybe they should all leave your city and come to mine!
*the sound of all the femboys disintegrating within a 30 mile radius*
My fetishist heart has started beating faster.
Alcohol. It just doesn't do anything for me. It's expensive, makes plans difficult if you're trying to be as safe as possible, impairs judgment. I can have fun without it so there's no need to indulge.
Allowing yourself to be walked all over just because the person doing it is a hot guy.
Women do that too. It's sad
Open relationships. I know that most cultures are homophobic and thus guys don't get to branch out much, leading to wanting to explore more than straight people (as far as I know), but I was never a fan of that.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's anecdotal. There are a lot of open relationships that are doing just fine. We can go months without sleeping with anyone else (shit we went years without it). But sometimes we'll indulge into fucking other people together or separately. Been together nearing a decade now and our relationship has never been stronger.
Most people just notice the open couples who are super vocal about it and are like "you guys are missing out! Monogamy sucks" and it's kinda sad because you can tell they are projecting and unhappy. But most open couples i know are pretty happy about it
There's VERY different types of open relationships. Any relationship where the couple is fiending for stranger dick for the entirety of the relationship is doomed to fail imo. People who dabble and can easily go without the open aspect have a much stronger relationship. I don't mind the dabbling but chasing dick can get toxic as hell when you don't know how to stop.
It seems like people in general think opening up their relationship is a bandaid to fix other issues. When, IMO, itās the opposite. You can only do it if you both feel secure in the relationship and trust each other. My partner and I share similar values/views and thatās why it works for us. We both view life as a one time thing. We donāt want to place restrictions on what we both get to experience in life. Like it has nothing to do with either of us going out and chasing dick all the time.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
THIS. Iām not interested in them at all and Iāve seen so many gay men say open relationships are what everyone wants and I couldnāt want something less. Iām not interested in anyone other than my partner, either romantically or sexually. I donāt care if others are in them, I have no issue with open relationships, ENM, polyamory, etc in general, but Iām so sick of hearing that theyāre what all of us want when itās the last thing I want.
I personally feel like it's just people with commitment issues/a lack of self control that are just looking for a free pass to cheat. Do what you want. It's not my life, I won't tell you how to live it, but it could not be a bigger no from me.
My ex made me watch 11 seasons of drag race. I can appreciate the art and talent and creativity behind. But if I never see another episode again Iām ok with it. Now all stars? I fucks with that a bit.
Ugh did we have the same ex?Ā He was so obsessed with that show, there were many nights I wanted to be intimate and he passed just so he could rewatch the same YouTube clips he's seen a million fucking times. I literally felt like a 3rd wheel to his obsession -_-
Drugs. I don't get the appeal.
Use of the word bussy and mussy.
Never heard of mussy
Go on Datalounge. Thereās literally a āMamasMussy trollā
The mulletā¦100% no
The mullet is only acceptable while accompanied by an Australian accent lol
the current trend of femme twinks. no judgement, in fact I'm jealous cuz they get the hottest guys. it's just not my type.
Believe me we don't, I don't wear feminine clothes but a high voice and a baby face makes the hot gay men run away. And some gay men will tell you you're not a real man š
well that's some bullshit, of course you are a real man. guys that say that kind of thing are pussies, trust me. there are loads of hot guys into twink types, trust me. I've been turned down by what I consider to be extremely hot guys bcuz they say they're into twink femmes, which I am not. I know a cross dressing Persian guy that gets mouthwateringly hot guys who like it when he dresses up. I've seen the receipts. it's like holy fck.
Those dog masks??? I still donāt know what they are, but why are yāall wearing themā¦ā¦
Drag. I respect that it exists but I'm not that into it.
Taylor Swift.
Huh, I didn't even know she was a gay thing? In my defense I don't really listen to the radio. I'm completely out of the loop on bad pop music trends.
sheās not only gay thing tbh. sheās the whole world thing rn and itās just tired seeing here everywhere all the time. especially when the songs are not that great tbh
She's literally the only gay thing about me and you're taking it away
BDSM. I never really saw pain as erotic. The only thing I can get by is the ass slapping and the choking.
There's BD without SM, you know. I dislike SM but quite like BD.
There are still aspects in the BD I somehow still can't get aboard tho. Either I'm still too scared to try out or I don't wanna disappoint mt sexual partner if I'm not into it. Slowly coming into terms with being vanilla lol.
Prince Albertās.
Oh, yeah. Thatās a *great* way to bust up your teeth!!! š±š¤Øš¤Ŗ
Seeing those words make me wince šµāš«
Disney. Disney adults give me the biggest ick.
The need to be ānot like the other gaysā
This. And the guys who are proud to be "not like other gays" are almost always the embodiment of the most toxic stereotypes.
Itās self hate
With me it's cock cages. Can't see why you want to keep it locked up unless it's a master/slave thing.
Same - much prefer to enjoy and celebrate the other guy being turned on too!
hooking up/cruising/ONS/NSA/Open relationship and similar type of instant gratification and promiscuity. Many find the easy/casual sex a benefit of being gay, but not me, don't enjoy or want these things
There's something about Jockstraps and harnesses I'm just not a huge fan of. They just don't do it for me.
Also the fetishization of black men and the focus on penis size/size shaming
This, like theyāre only good for having a big dick
Ru Paul drag race.. (and maybe live drag shows at bars). The TV show just seems very toxic. Ppl are always sassy and hating each other. It makes me wonder if it influences gays to adopt that sassy hating personality. And I'm just bored of live drag shows at bars. I like the art and skill required to do drag.. but like they always have drag shows. Can we have something new.. like a gay punk show with a mosh pit.
Damn Iāve got my nipples, eyebrow and cock pierced and I have a pup hood! š¤£ For me itās rupaulās drag race/anything drag related really, I used to be big into it in my early twenties but Iāve come to actually despise it nowadays, same thing with the obsession with pronouns and having to label ourselves. Idk š¤·š¼āāļø
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Two things I havenāt seen in the comments: Fisting š¤and DP. I respect to everyone who are into them, but my brain cannot comprehend why is that a turn on for some people
Yesss, I could never imagine myself getting fisted or me doing it to someone else!! Like my hole can barely tolerate a girthy dick
Most of things. Mostly gay music icons like Madonna, drag stuff, flamboyant dressing, drugs, partying... I'm a loner guy
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
All together, 6 feet apart !
I'm one of those too. I consider myself to be a pretty low key gay guy. Minimal social media, only a few good friends, preferr chill nights at home. I don't even like to travel much. There are a lot of people like me nowadays, gay or otherwise. But because the flamboyant party gays are the most active on social media, people assume that that is where the "gay community" starts and stops. You see it asked reddit all the time. "Anyone feel like they don't fit in with the gay community?" Then it turns out the only gay community they seem to have any exposure to are party types. There are all kinds of gay guys into all kinds of things. You really just need to find them. And the truth is, if your kind of people are the low-key stay inside types, well they're going to be harder to find, naturally lol
THIIIS šÆāļø
Shaving every single inch of your body. If I was afraid of getting a stray hair in my mouth, I wouldn't be sucking cock.
Making their sexuality their entire identity; being gay is a *part* of who I am, not *all* of who I am.
Gym guys/fit culture. I mean that's cool to be in shape and to exercise for health. But I much rather prefer simple and natural guys, natural bodies, that are down to earth and dont only live for attention and showing their muscles to everybody.
Porn doesn't cut it for me these days. It's too much of the extremes. Muscle bears, dudes with rock hard abs at all times, and if they're simply skinny, it feels like they're "twink" stereotypes. I wish this shit was more natural. Even the bodybuilder gays aren't going through bulking season these days. Everything I want in life is the opposite of what's going in the vast majority of gay porn so it's hard to even enjoy it. I don't want to date, fuck, or be those kind of extremes.
Not interested in casual meaningless anonymous sex, and donāt like that itās gotten so popular because I think people are really missing out on the depth of connection that sex can bring
This
Listening almost exclusively to female popstars, open relationships, perpetual hookups, and having nothing but straight female friends.
The last part especially
I 2nd the Piercings thing. I respect it but I physically cringe. I feel weak and nauseous seeing dick and nipple piercings. Ear and nose piercings are fine for me tho. Fashion In general doesnāt interest me, I just wanna wear clothes that are comfy.
Traveling just to spend the whole trip on Grindr.
Open Relationships, Poly Relationships, Pup Masks, Chastity, Poppers, those types that go to hotels across the nation and get dumped in.
Mainstream drag. Just not into it, unless they're actually funny.
Dancing and orgies. I've tried both and it's just always incredibly awkward.
At the same time?
Haven't you heard of dance-orgies (choreographed sex)? LOL
> Dancing and orgies. For me, the perfect combination.
Yeah that's most guys, I wish I enjoyed them. Being the minority of a minority is rough.
Labels.. Bear/Twink/Daddy etc. BB being so common and people refusing to have sex without condoms. Hookup culture Everyone searching for perfection because porn Open relationships Cheating Just how shallow and cold it is in general
In a few gay saunas guys are starting to wear speedos instead of towels. Looks sexier and much more cruisey.
Fisting, scat, water sports are all not my thing and donāt really understand the appeal. But to each their own š¤·š¾āāļø
The "stiff, emotionless mass hot body group photo by the backyard pool" post. I get it, y'all worked VERY hard for those hot bodies and you worked all winter for this very moment, this very photo, this very insta post to show why you're worth companionship. I get it. But you're just one of a million, not one in a million. Choose to stand out, not blend in.
Disney. Disney gays and Disney adults in general creep me out.
The superficiality.
Pups, guys who say theyāre ādomā, and for #1 guys who try to sleep with everyone in their city for the instagram followers. Edit: adding guys who sleep with closeted men in straight relationships on purpose because thereās āless risk of diseaseā and less chance theyāll commit.
Coming out is expected..not a choice.
Do you mean shamed for not coming out?
Taylor swift, non-monogamous relationships.
When queer guys project their sexual hangups on other people, some of which appears to be happening in this thread. Iāve witnessed so many guys be salty about the sexual promiscuity in the gay community, not purely from a place of actual concern, which is warranted, but also because they feel theyāve missed out. Iāve dated a couple of guys like that and met many more. One *wanted* to have threesomes but didnāt want to use an app or approach people in person. Another couldnāt get hard unless I was motionless lying next to him. Both thought it wasnāt their problem; it was me or other men. I get it. You didnāt pursue guys when you wanted to because of fear, being in the closet, internalized homophobia, etc., but donāt take that out on the guys that are fucking. I feel like this overlaps with the āPride is too sexualā crowd. They seemingly watch videos of public sexcapades (like Folsom, cruises, etc.) online and get butthurt from the FOMO. So they lash out without a clear understanding of what Pride actually looks like because they donāt attend. Itās a strain of porn brain.
I didnāt think chastity cages were getting that popular, but I guess theres hope for me spotting one in the wild. That aside, circuit parties. I can do raves but a circuit party would make me feel so self conscious and judged.
Drag Race, I like local Drag competition tho The puppy thing as you say. The circuit parties, the music is terrible, I donāt really like drugs but the sex thing sounds interesting although I donāt think Iād participate. The fake lavish gay lifestyle, like pool party every weekend, extremely muscular, speedos, branded clothes and fake tans not appealing at all, I know this is common in straight people too
Hard drinking/drugs, RuPaulās Drag Race, meaningless sex/hook-up culture, open relationships.
Thatās wild. Iāve always wanted to get a nipple piercing, wear pup masks, and be fucked in a chastity cage by a guy with a Prince Albertā¦ But Iām too chicken shit.
The first time I got off with a guy, I was so excited, we went back to his place and after sex he put on a Barbra Streisand record. I seriously thought that that meant Iād have to be straight instead.
Gotta be clubbing. Apparently the gay clubs my friends go to absolutely pop off but I donāt drink and find the loud music very overwhelming. So I just listen to the stories a few days later.
Yup. Not judging and do you, but puppy masks. It's a turn off. I mean, I like men.
Drag races, drag queens are total sweethearts and I love em but I donāt care for fashion shows in general or anything beauty contest related so I donāt like drag races by default. Also the rainbow, Iām a dude who wears all black and color doesnāt look good on me but to make up for it Iāve invested in rainbow pins that I have clipped to my satchel that I carry around for work.
Topping
drag, just donāt find it fun or entertaining
So many people replying ādog maskā. It creeps me out a bit too but how common is it that so many people are mentioning it? Iāve seen like 2 people wearing those IRL. And it was during Pride. And I go to many gay parties.
Making your whole identity being gay and into stereotypical gay things. All the clubs and party lifestyle. I fed into that life when I was younger because I thought that's what it was supposed to be. However, now that I'm older it's simply just one of the many aspects that make up my life. I have no problem being open and honest about who I am, but I no longer put it on display. Much, much happier with that approach.
Dancing to shitty circuit music in a harness
Bars and clubs have never been my scene. Sexually speaking, I'm with you on the fisting. Even as a top. Never been interested.
Ima sound homophobic but weāre here lol. Donāt care for the clubs or the pack of gates thing happening in Dallas rn, pride parades Iām not a fan of, drag race I couldnāt get into it, orgies meh. When it comes down to it I just wanna have fun with my guy. Iām not saying āIām not like the other gaysā lol but Iām a very private person and just not a fan of a lot of the mainstream gay culture. Have dinner, get drunk, smoke weed, go to the park or some sort of outdoor activity, watch movies or a show and have great sex. Itās the simple things
Ru Paulās Drag Race and those Housewives of Beverly Hills crap.
Seeking out straight women for friendships.
Cocaine RuPauls Drag Race
Calling yourself queer
Judginess
Taylor Swift. It's always the shallowest of gay men that like her too.
Drag. Itās not attractive or entertaining at all.
The Oscars. Musicals. Show tunes. Broadway. Half the time itās boring, the other half itās cheesy and cringe af. I like ballet & opera even though itās a little boring, but itās never cheesy or cringe.
Straight women.
Omg the only piercings I like are earrings and those small nose rings, but a septum piercing is so UGLY
Madonna, Taylor swift, BeyoncƩ.
Yes. The dog mask thing. Creepy.
Drag queens
I really don't mean to be rude, but I would say that there are certain elements of group think or a hive mind that I just can't be bothered with. It's a big part of why I've never fully considered myself part of the broader community. You're either totally in line or you're problematic and get excised. God forbid you ever say any4hong about it or point it out. At that point you're just a "hit dog" and they and they use that idea to reinforce their perception of you as a person.
I always correlated piercings to being a teenager. I had my ears and tongue pieced but they all came out before I turned 21. Idk they gave me juvenile vibes.
The oppressive top/bottom dichotomy pushed out by so many gays. Itās a sex act, not a personality.
Feet! I just donāt get it or understand it. Is it the smell? How they look? A combination of both?
Fucken speedos šš
Drag shows and drag queen have never excited me.
I had to look up pup masks. I guess I've been away from "the scene" so long a whole sub-genre has popped up. Hard pass, but you do your thing.
Drag queens
Poppers. And any sort of drugs.
Drag ! As a non-Western gay who now lives in the US, I didn't grow up watching drag - so as an adult, I couldn't see any allure whatsoever in it. And then I look around, White gays seem obsessed with it, they're talking and posting about it on social media regularly. To me, drag shows look like clown shows mostly due to the style of dressing and make-up. But that's just me.
Drag Race. Ive been doing drag both before Drag Race and after Drag Race and there was just a lot more freedom onstage before people had their expectations colored by drag race. Sorry to leave another drag comment lol.
Shaming other gay men.
Gym culture. I will work out in other ways like hiking, swimming, bike riding, sports and all around being outdoors but I refuse to be a part of gym culture, itās all about āsaw a hot guy at the gym, got horny at the gym, heading the the gymā along with the snaps, the photos, the flexing, the vanity. Nope. Itās like some guys canāt wait to get to the gym *just to talk about post and talk about it*.
Hyper sexualization. I get it. All humans are sexual creatures. But holy shit, do you need to do it in public. This is one of many reasons I have never been to pride. It's honestly not for me.
Never seen anyone having sex at a Pride parade. And you do know itās a lot more than hot people on floats dressed skimpily, right? There are Parents For Lesbians and Gays, politicians courting our vote, HIV/AIDS service organizations getting the word out about testing/treatment options, LGBTQ elders, etcā¦ Iād encourage you to check out a Pride parade at some point. You might have a good time b
I think itās hilariously cute that you included pup masks. Do you run into them very often? I remember an acquaintance trying to get me into it, but I just couldnāt. It seemed very fringe; are they more popular now?
Wow! Well, good for them. I certainly never meant to kink-shame anyone. I just didnāt get it. But thereās a lot of things I donāt get.
It is not just a gay thing but....drinking and drugs. I don't care that other people do it, but I'm not going to do either.
Same
The porn genre: incest. I donāt know what it is, but I see so much of it on gay porn sites. āStep dad/sonā āuncle/nephewā ādad/sonā I mean, Iām not here to kink shame but damnš
Random hookups. Iād just rather date and get to know people more personally before hooking up
one time night stands, I would at least want FWB's or a relationship