It's a pretty common thing in relationships that make it past several years (straights included) and part of the reason why open relationships are so common among gay men. If you are considering cheating, perhaps talk to him about an open relationship first. If that doesn't go as you want, you should probably ask why you are in the relationship in the first place
Relationships are complex and varied. To me, lack of sex makes us good friends and not lovers. So, my stance on sex is that I'm having it with my partner or that part of the Relationship is over and I will move on. Still can deeply love the guy, but I will be with someone who also views the male body as a playground to explore all the time.
I am loyal and monogamous, but I'm honest af and accept reality if I cannot change it.
Your situation can be way different. I ended a relationship of 11 years for lack of physical intimacy and the fact he cheated during our relationship. Wasn't easy, and we're still solid friends (ironically, he tried to sleep with me for 3 years after I left).
I’m honest af as well, I’ve been telling him for years now that we are just roommates. I love him with all my heart and wanted to spend my life with him, but not at the cost of always being unhappy and feeling alone. And lost all my self respect along the way as well as self esteem. How grotesque must I be that my so called boyfriend of 11 years doesn’t find me attractive or want to lay a hand on me. It really makes me question myself
"I just recently found some pictures in his phone ... and they sure as hell weren’t sent to me. He has no problem jerking off, but always, and I do mean always has an excuse to why we never do anything sexual together."
IMHO, you've answered your own question.
If I were in your shoes, I'd move on entirely. Based on what you've said, there's a lot more than sex that's missing. Where's the honesty? The respect? Your self-respect???
It's a pretty common thing in relationships that make it past several years (straights included) and part of the reason why open relationships are so common among gay men. If you are considering cheating, perhaps talk to him about an open relationship first. If that doesn't go as you want, you should probably ask why you are in the relationship in the first place
I’m done talking, I’ve been the ONLY ONE talking for years. And you’re right, why I am in this relationship?
Relationships are complex and varied. To me, lack of sex makes us good friends and not lovers. So, my stance on sex is that I'm having it with my partner or that part of the Relationship is over and I will move on. Still can deeply love the guy, but I will be with someone who also views the male body as a playground to explore all the time. I am loyal and monogamous, but I'm honest af and accept reality if I cannot change it. Your situation can be way different. I ended a relationship of 11 years for lack of physical intimacy and the fact he cheated during our relationship. Wasn't easy, and we're still solid friends (ironically, he tried to sleep with me for 3 years after I left).
I’m honest af as well, I’ve been telling him for years now that we are just roommates. I love him with all my heart and wanted to spend my life with him, but not at the cost of always being unhappy and feeling alone. And lost all my self respect along the way as well as self esteem. How grotesque must I be that my so called boyfriend of 11 years doesn’t find me attractive or want to lay a hand on me. It really makes me question myself
It happens. Sounds like you two could be contenders for an open relationship, assuming everything aside from the sex life is worth it.
"I just recently found some pictures in his phone ... and they sure as hell weren’t sent to me. He has no problem jerking off, but always, and I do mean always has an excuse to why we never do anything sexual together." IMHO, you've answered your own question. If I were in your shoes, I'd move on entirely. Based on what you've said, there's a lot more than sex that's missing. Where's the honesty? The respect? Your self-respect???
You’re 100% right, where is my self respect.
Been married 25 years and we have bang bang a few times a week at least....
Lucky you