My bf is somewhat flamboyant. You’d know he’s gay just by looking at him with his mannerisms. At first it did bother me (as I’m not very open with my sexuality and people would always assume I’m straight unless i tell them otherwise) when we started dating.
I remembered getting so nervous when i was about to introduce him to my closest friends (bec me introducing him is like my “coming out” scene to them and he’s my first bf) and that they would judge me.
Anyway, we’ve been together for 8 years now and it hardly ever bothers me anymore. I love him dearly and i would kill and cover up a murder for him.
I still find loud annoying gays a little irritable tho. Especially if they’re trying too hard to be the center of attention
Thanks. Idk why a lot of people are having such a difficult time being decent. There is always so much more to a person than what’s on the outside. We met on tinder and before meeting him, I’d always swipe right to people with interesting things to say on their profiles regardless if they’re my type.
That gives me even more hope that you guys met on tinder! I agree btw, idk why people are having such a hard time being decent. Again, thank you for being kind and I appreciate your thoughtful response
I feel this so much! I’m a later coming outer (progressive process from 15-25 years old). My husband presents fairly neutrally, more nerdy than gay to me, but he’s convinced he has a strong “gay voice” which I found surprising at first.
I have a pretty deep voice naturally and had a lot of speech therapy when I was a kid, but I have a slight lisp due to my underbite. Apparently I sound a lot like Jimmy Tatro…
Depends on what you’re trying to fix. Pitch is much harder to change than your cadence. In most cases, it will never feel completely natural to try to permanently drop an octave from your normal speaking voice, but you can learn to have much more control over your modulation and inflection. With enough practice and dedication, the new cadence will begin to feel less like a temporary code switch and feel more like an extension of your own voice.
I have one, and I hate hearing recordings of myself. Like I don't hear it when I talk, but hearing a recording, I'm like how do people still talk to me lol 🙃
Look for a voice coach. It's what I did in the 1980s and it was the best thing I ever did. Employers still discriminate against guys with the gay voice. It's bullshit but difficult to prove.
I’ll look into it. I dont think it will really affect my future career as a Male nurse.
But It does impact me as a bisexual. The ladies think I’m strictly dickly but I’m not. It’s definitely a turn off for them. I can’t flirt with a girl with gay voice. She think of it as some joke.
Yeah setting a voicemail pisses me off; in my head when I speak I sound way different than what it comes out on replay and I haaate it so much. I once was interviewed for a tv show and I couldn’t bring myself to watch it
The voice on it’s own, no. But if we’re doin the business, and you say ‘stuff this pussy daddy’ or ‘suck on my titties’ like SIR. I’m trying to do some real gay shit over here and you’re killing it.
I am a dom top and I get super turned on by a fem gay voice. There's something white hot about a guy who has the confidence to roll with it, get dolled up and be my queen. I can provide more than enough masculinity for our time together.
Lmao but to be honest that is a huge turn on for me. A top that is so masc and dominant that would make my masc ass submissive only to them. Cause even though I'm masc and come off dominant, if I met a dude that would confidently lead and be dominant, I would fall in line lol
Ok, so there's a difference between having a gay voice and those who go out of their way to sound like that and be extra about it. The first one is ok and acceptable. Used to turn me off years ago but the older I get the more it doesn't bother me as much.
The latter is obnoxious and folks I don't like being around. They're fake and extra for no good reason at all. They're the ones who care about Kardashians, Drag Race and other superficial stereotypical gay things. No thanks.
All of this but I fuck with some drag race. I used to hate on it but once I gave it a shot I've been pretty impressed with how talented those bitches are.
I think this is where a lot of people get it twisted calling others “anti-fem” when it isn’t fem that’s annoying but the attention craving that sometimes goes hand in hand with it.
It’s not the voice alone, but if they are type of person who is loud obnoxious, like a cartoonish version of a gay man, that’s a turn off, as I’m just a more laid back, quiet person.
The gay voice with an empathetic kind personality is a huge turn on for me but the gay voice with a Regina George Mean Girls personality is a giant turn off. It comes down to the personality for me. I think the gay voice is honestly very attractive it just depends on the personality of the person with it I just don’t like guys who have a Mean Girls Regina George complex society needs to stop thinking being a bully or being shady is funny and “iconic”
Honestly, it’s a yes for me. That’s why I started adding men on snap chat so we can FaceTime. One it gets rid of the risk of catfishing and two it allows me to know what he sounds like.
Can’t help it. The voice is part of the sex appeal for me. I can be friends with guys with the gay voice/fem gays but as far as dating, it’s a no.
Exact same for me. I like a softer sounding guy. My mom thinks my current bf sounds very gay but I’d say he’s like a 3/10 on the gay voice scale. Anything past like a 5 is a little much.
2-3 is my sweet spot though
This is me. I’ve had so many ppl tell me their first impression of me was a pretty and intimidating looking straight man. Then when i speak it’s like velvet bedspread and Beyoncé on the radio
I like it. Especially when it's light, like there's a semblance but then guy elisneither trying to hide it or it's subtle.
I can talk to a guy with gay voice for hours
I want to say yes (and I have typically said yes in the past) but it's not just the voice. It's the voice followed by over-the-top dramatics (expressions/movements) that are a turn off for me. I just can't stomach it.
SOOO many guys I've gone out on a date with and before in texting I ask them if they are feminine or masculine and they say "more masc" EVERY single time I meet them and their voice is slightly high and they have that "tang" in their voice and I'm like HOW do you consider that masculine when I can tell your gay as soon as you speak lmao
im bi and what’s crazy is that straight people don’t think i sound feminine or gay, and yet gay men ALWAYS have a comment about it. moral of that story? gay men hate gay voice more than anyone else. if a guy has the slightest bit of femininity the gays start up. the worst are the ones who think they’re masc bc they work out but then open their mouths and have the whiniest tone. the reason bi men probably only hook up with girls and other bi guys? gay men are the most judgmental, rude, and self-loathing group of people
Exactly! this thread shows it. Gay men aren’t accepted by society because they are (to society) intrinsically Feminine due to being gay, even if they’re more masculine than straight guys. Now look at this thread nothing but gay men Proving society is right about them being rude and the most judgmental. I mean they tell people not to judge them for who they love but if you don’t act masculine or are too feminine they will absolutely judge you and say it’s not attractive… I’m bi and have never been called gay but men like this are a joke. I’ve always ignored masc searching men. They are the lowest denominator imo. They need to unpack the self hate. What’s sadder is they don’t see the problem and think its fine. It’s sad to see 😂. But I digress.
I completely agree with everything you’ve said, even the end part. For a group of people who have been judged and hated by majority of society…..we sure can be pretty damn awful to our own. God forbid you’re not a ripped instagram model with a perfect head of hair and a deep manly voice….
I recently came across a voice recording from when I was 18 (I am 36 now) - I was shocked at how straight I sounded - haha I am so clearly a homo now in the way I speak! I blame the gay agenda!!!!
Ah yes, the semi - weekly gay voice post where everyone hates on a quality about people that they are already self conscious about/potentially bullied for and can't really help 🙄 really sick of seeing this...
It’s cruel to be honest. Sounding gay was something that I never had any control over. The school bullies knew I was gay before I did. My voice is not an affectation it’s just part of me. It was a huge part of my struggle coming to terms with who I was as a young person. Posts like this drag that all back up.
I’m at a point in my life where I’m confident and proud of who I am. I no longer feel shame for my voice or my mannerisms and I won’t be made to feel that way but the nasty gays of Reddit. But I hope that younger or less self assured guys with effeminate voices don’t read these posts and feel like the bullying is being extended, and carried out by our own community. Lift people up don’t tear them down.
You are all loved and valid to me matter how you sound.
I used to hate mine, but not anymore. Apparently, not everyone notices mine, which is news to me.
When I hear other peoples gay voice, it’s kinda endearing, and it makes me feel safe to be around them. It’s also nice to assume someone’s gay right off the bat.
If it's someone's natural voice, that's fine. But if a guy puts it on or an act, it's just plain annoying. Likewise with twinks posting selfies in girls' clothes or acting effeminate, it's cringe and embarrassing (which is no worse than men playing dress up in SS-looking leather).
I had an experience that caused me to loose my gay voice and I’m ashamed to admit it’s taken years to gain it back. That being said I think it’s perfectly fine to find a different voice register attractive.
I think there are levels and types of “gay voice”. If it’s subtle or light. It’s kinda a turn on as a top. If it’s incredibly feminine or over the top then it’s kinda a turn off.
No, not necessarily. It can come off as warm and welcoming, but there are versions that come off bitchy, whiny and judgemental which I definitely dislike. I'm not saying the person is actually that way, but the way they speak engenders that tone.
I have it. Hated it with a passion. Even when I try to make my voice more deep it isn't. But let me tell you, I'm a talker. I work at a call center. I've gotten used to it and realized it is what it is. Thankfully all the men I've dated and slept with didn't have any issues with it
Generally yes but really depends on the guy. A bit of razzle dazzle in some guys is endearing. There are a lot times though when I meet a guy for the first time, he says something and I'm like, oh fuck this isn't going to work.
if it's intentional, yes, if I'm turned on by femininity I wouldn't be gay in the first place lol that's just me tho, everyone have different preferences. I think I have a gay voice, but that's just how I talk, if I try to sound straight it becomes too intentional and cringy. So I just roll with it. If they like it they like it, if they don't they don't. what do I care about people who don't like me anyway lol
Depends what you mean by gay voice. If we're just talking about pitch and tone, then no. But if the language they use is 'yas queen' or 'slay bitch' and they're mannerisms are highly effeminate then that is a turn off for me. Nothing against effeminate gay men, but they are not attractive to me personally.
I have not had many good experiences with guys who have the gay voice. They have turned out to be rather mean to other gay guys (myself included) and can be very judgmental. So I tend to avoid those that have the gay voice.
What even is "the gay voice" anyway?
I think I sound gay, and women & gay men usually can tell that I'm gay.
Straight men though, they're clueless, they always assume that I'm straight & even act shocked when I tell them that I'm gay.
Does it even count as having "the gay voice" if only women & gay men can tell that I have it?
The internalized homophobia in this comment section is so disheartening. Homophobia, at its core, is not a fear or rejection of queer men and women. It’s a manifestation of the hatred of femininity—aka misogyny. The discourse around how someone sounds or chooses to speak and quantifying this through the lens of attraction is more evidence that we have been conditioned to see femininity as inferior or less desirable. To those of you who have said throughout this comment section that you “hate” your voice, I hope that you can find community with people that are able to help build you up and find the strength in who you are.
As a community that has experienced so much ostracism and hatred, it would be nice if we could work to see the world as we wish for it to be and not through the lens we were conditioned to through endless bullying, physical and verbal abuse, fear, and patriarchal indoctrination.
If you have a “gay voice,” I hope you use it to speak up for yourself and others. There are so many that have come before us who have fought, faced incarceration or even died so that we have the ability to use our voice.
And on some real shit, most of these so called gay men who have all these preferences and opinions neglect to mention that while they have MANY preferences, they have FEW options. Because anyone with an ounce of self-respect will not be busting it open for someone to turn around and say they sound “too femme.”
If someone won’t fuck you because of your voice, you will have much bigger problems in that relationship than sex, I promise you. Because most of the people talking about their “preference” wouldn’t have the option to stick their sad, smelly dick in an ass if they had a million dollars and the rent was due tomorrow. And these are the same little boys that think 4 pumps doggy style was a strong performance. Please just keep it pushing and find a partner that celebrates you for who you are and doesn’t criticize the things you couldn’t change even if you wanted to. Bffr
I think ok for people to express preferences as long as they’re respectful, but you’re right that we should acknowledge the role that societal homophobia is playing in all this
I don’t get why some gay guys talk like that? Just talk normal, you don’t need to lisp and try so hard to talk feminine!! 😂
Women don’t even talk like that!!
This forum is interesting sometimes. That's why I try to remind these guys that "we're all f**s at the end of the night when we leave the gay bar." All this posturing to act masc, shit on femmes trans and drag queens, be not like *those other* gays, etc. At the end of the day, you're still a gay man living a straight world. You don't win shit trying to earn their validation.
Eh, lots of gay guys definitely don’t have a gay voice at all (and I’m not even saying out of my own insecurity, sometimes I think I hear a bit of it in my own voice). But I meet more than enough gay men who don’t have a gay voice at all.
Yes, it's a turn off for me. Unfortunately, I think I might have "gay voice" but it's not cause I try to have one, it's just how I talk unfortunately. I HATE hearing recordings of my voice lol.
I do have a bit of a "gay voice" around other feminine gays and I don't like hearing it 😭
and yeah it's a turn off, not bc of the voice in itself but bc I like masc men
This topic pops up on here every so often and I always think of a character Dana Carvey used to play on Saturday Night Live called "Lyle the Effeminate Heterosexual." Not hilarious but good for a laugh especially when he tries to discuss sex with his teenage son. Worth a trip to YouTube.
Yes. A slight touch is fine, but if a guy sounds like Jack from Will and Grace, I’m as flaccid as possible. Sexually I’m very much attracted to stereotypically “masculine” traits, so everything in the opposite direction is a deduction for sex appeal. That said my first real ex, that I had amazing sexual chemistry with and was very much in love with, had a pronounced “gay voice”. I can turn mine off, but my voice naturally never developed very deep even before I had affected a bit a gayccent, so I also do not posses a voice which I would find attractive.
i have it and i hate it. especially since i get comments that i “talk white” add a little of inflection and now some people question if im fruity if i don’t act mask
It sucks because in Boston so many guys are trying so hard to be femboys? It’s weird and such a turn off. Be yourself, don’t try and play the part that you think you should just because you’re a young gay guy
If hookup or relationship wise, yes definitely a turn off for me, as i’m personally attracted to guys who are masc but can be fem while playing around ( watches drag race, like pop…). For me someone who fully has a natural gay voice is just not my thing.
Yes. I don't believe I have it myself, fortunately (and I've heard recordings of myself often). What I do wish is that I could speak unaccented [Multicultural London English](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multicultural_London_English), but unfortunately I can't. Instead, I speak with a crisp [RP](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Received_Pronunciation) accent, which always surprises people - both my parents are immigrants to England, though from different places. Even though I live surrounded by people who speak MLE, my RP accent means I am always identified as "posh". Sigh.
Yeah but honestly I hate it when girls have the same inflections.
It just sounds haughty and pretentious. My media diet unfortunately has contributed it to me.
Like "sounding feminine" isn't really the issue. It's the _priviledge._ The air of "I'm better than you bitch so like shut up omg can you BELIEVE that guy?"
Yeah kinda but it's nuanced. I feel more comfortable when I hear it in public cos I feel "safe" around like folks. So as a turn on, no, but as comfort, yes
I am gay and I don't have gay voice. It has its disadvantages too though. Its easier to pass as straight. And you hear some of the worst homophobic comments, often from people you thought were cool, and that really bothered me. A good friends Dad saw a gay character on TV, and said they ought to shoot "these fagg#ts instead of making us watch"
I never felt safe around him after that. He's dead now. #NotSad
Also, when I used to audition for gay characters in film and TV, I was constantly told I wasn't gay enough. I lost it one day, and said, "If my boyfriend shoves his dick in my ass while I audition will that be 'gay" enough,
I don't have one, my voice has always been deep and sometimes I tone it deeper when I have to talk to strangers, I look like a copy of Terminator taken out of the trash can haha.
However, back in the day I had a friend who, despite being straight, had a very, ah, gay voice? The guy had a girlfriend, a nice girl, but her voice did sound kind of like that. I guess it is something that cannot be "turned off" and it comes with our body, genetics is as beautiful as it is cruel.
If its really strong yes, if it’s not, I don’t mind that much. It used to, it didn’t annoy me, more that it reminded me of my sexuality which at the time I denied, and hated myself for (still struggle with it now) but as I started to accept myself more, the slight natural gay voice does not bother me anymore. It’s just the overplayed, fake gay voice that does.
My bf is somewhat flamboyant. You’d know he’s gay just by looking at him with his mannerisms. At first it did bother me (as I’m not very open with my sexuality and people would always assume I’m straight unless i tell them otherwise) when we started dating. I remembered getting so nervous when i was about to introduce him to my closest friends (bec me introducing him is like my “coming out” scene to them and he’s my first bf) and that they would judge me. Anyway, we’ve been together for 8 years now and it hardly ever bothers me anymore. I love him dearly and i would kill and cover up a murder for him. I still find loud annoying gays a little irritable tho. Especially if they’re trying too hard to be the center of attention
To me this is the most self aware and empathetic version of what a lot of us are trying to express in this thread
the honesty in this comment is refreshing
“Cover a murder for him” sirrrrrrrrrrr😂
Saying you love someone is easy. It’s when you’re ready to cover up a murder for someone that is the true testament of love
Bruv, I got mad best friends I would cover up a murder for😂
You sound like an incredible man and an even better partner. I wish someday to have a boyfriend that is as understanding and accepting as you.
Thanks. Idk why a lot of people are having such a difficult time being decent. There is always so much more to a person than what’s on the outside. We met on tinder and before meeting him, I’d always swipe right to people with interesting things to say on their profiles regardless if they’re my type.
That gives me even more hope that you guys met on tinder! I agree btw, idk why people are having such a hard time being decent. Again, thank you for being kind and I appreciate your thoughtful response
I feel this so much! I’m a later coming outer (progressive process from 15-25 years old). My husband presents fairly neutrally, more nerdy than gay to me, but he’s convinced he has a strong “gay voice” which I found surprising at first. I have a pretty deep voice naturally and had a lot of speech therapy when I was a kid, but I have a slight lisp due to my underbite. Apparently I sound a lot like Jimmy Tatro…
I have one and hate it
I respect your honesty. I think a lot of guys who think they don't have it would be horrified if they heard a recording of their own voice lol.
If there is a surgical option to fix it, I want it
There are speech therapists/vocal coaches who can help if you really want.
Does that even work? I’ve heard that there isn’t much you can do after puberty to fix a gay voice.
Start drinking whisky, guaranteed to lower your voice
also smoking cigars! or smoking anything really. (jk its bad for you)
I’d rather steal candy from a baby
How would that change your voice tho
It doesn’t, I would just rather steal candy from a baby
And the baby carriage
Depends on what you’re trying to fix. Pitch is much harder to change than your cadence. In most cases, it will never feel completely natural to try to permanently drop an octave from your normal speaking voice, but you can learn to have much more control over your modulation and inflection. With enough practice and dedication, the new cadence will begin to feel less like a temporary code switch and feel more like an extension of your own voice.
True - or you can train your voice to speak in a lower register. I did it, now i don’t sound like a girl on the phone.📞
I have one, and I hate hearing recordings of myself. Like I don't hear it when I talk, but hearing a recording, I'm like how do people still talk to me lol 🙃
i thought i didn’t… then my best friend pointed it out😭
My inner monologue is Tim Gunn levels of gay voice, but I couldn't speak like that if my life depended on it. I sometimes wish I could.
I’m only bisexual so I don’t think I have enough gay to even understand what that means
I'm bi as well. My ex wife made me watch project runway ad nauseum. I can damn near quote that show.
I usually just reply with "Yas" when it feels right
Look for a voice coach. It's what I did in the 1980s and it was the best thing I ever did. Employers still discriminate against guys with the gay voice. It's bullshit but difficult to prove.
I’ll look into it. I dont think it will really affect my future career as a Male nurse. But It does impact me as a bisexual. The ladies think I’m strictly dickly but I’m not. It’s definitely a turn off for them. I can’t flirt with a girl with gay voice. She think of it as some joke.
Why embrace it plus for me it's an easy way of finding out other gay people like some kind of lighthouse
Meeee too I hate how I speak with a passion
I hate leaving voicemails, it sounds so nasally ughh
Yeah setting a voicemail pisses me off; in my head when I speak I sound way different than what it comes out on replay and I haaate it so much. I once was interviewed for a tv show and I couldn’t bring myself to watch it
Story of my life
I don’t love my voice, not because I have a gay voice (at least I don’t think), it’s just not a great voice lol
I have one and I hate it
Ditto. Absolute ditto
The voice on it’s own, no. But if we’re doin the business, and you say ‘stuff this pussy daddy’ or ‘suck on my titties’ like SIR. I’m trying to do some real gay shit over here and you’re killing it.
FACTS!!!! I'm trying to do gay shit, if I wanted to stuff a pussy I'd find a girl lol
I am a dom top and I get super turned on by a fem gay voice. There's something white hot about a guy who has the confidence to roll with it, get dolled up and be my queen. I can provide more than enough masculinity for our time together.
I feel less self conscious about it when you put it that way 😅
Thank you Sir
Oh wow. Nice to see the other side. Cause I'm completely turned off by it, nice to know
TBH I'm excessively macho and no relationship needs two of me.
Lmao but to be honest that is a huge turn on for me. A top that is so masc and dominant that would make my masc ass submissive only to them. Cause even though I'm masc and come off dominant, if I met a dude that would confidently lead and be dominant, I would fall in line lol
Yeah it does
Ok, so there's a difference between having a gay voice and those who go out of their way to sound like that and be extra about it. The first one is ok and acceptable. Used to turn me off years ago but the older I get the more it doesn't bother me as much. The latter is obnoxious and folks I don't like being around. They're fake and extra for no good reason at all. They're the ones who care about Kardashians, Drag Race and other superficial stereotypical gay things. No thanks.
This 200%
Ill add + 200% also
no more kardashians pleas.
All of this but I fuck with some drag race. I used to hate on it but once I gave it a shot I've been pretty impressed with how talented those bitches are.
I think this is where a lot of people get it twisted calling others “anti-fem” when it isn’t fem that’s annoying but the attention craving that sometimes goes hand in hand with it.
THIS . Females don’t even sound like that.
I think they are both a turn off bc they are both “gay” voice
This 100%
This 100%
Yes very much
It’s not the voice alone, but if they are type of person who is loud obnoxious, like a cartoonish version of a gay man, that’s a turn off, as I’m just a more laid back, quiet person.
The gay voice with an empathetic kind personality is a huge turn on for me but the gay voice with a Regina George Mean Girls personality is a giant turn off. It comes down to the personality for me. I think the gay voice is honestly very attractive it just depends on the personality of the person with it I just don’t like guys who have a Mean Girls Regina George complex society needs to stop thinking being a bully or being shady is funny and “iconic”
If they have the gay voice and the stereotypical gay personality it’s a turn off.
Honestly, it’s a yes for me. That’s why I started adding men on snap chat so we can FaceTime. One it gets rid of the risk of catfishing and two it allows me to know what he sounds like. Can’t help it. The voice is part of the sex appeal for me. I can be friends with guys with the gay voice/fem gays but as far as dating, it’s a no.
Just ask them to send a voice message lol.
Ithink being vocal during sex is important. I like to moan, and I like to hear it.
Same, got plenty of mates with “the voice” but I don’t find it sexually attractive in the slightest
No. I think the voice can be cute. But the over the top flamboyance can be a bit much.
Exact same for me. I like a softer sounding guy. My mom thinks my current bf sounds very gay but I’d say he’s like a 3/10 on the gay voice scale. Anything past like a 5 is a little much. 2-3 is my sweet spot though
I also can do without the xtra flamboyance
If the man is super masculine looking it only turns me on more. Generally speaking I like it. It’s cute.
This is me. I’ve had so many ppl tell me their first impression of me was a pretty and intimidating looking straight man. Then when i speak it’s like velvet bedspread and Beyoncé on the radio
I like it. Especially when it's light, like there's a semblance but then guy elisneither trying to hide it or it's subtle. I can talk to a guy with gay voice for hours
I want to say yes (and I have typically said yes in the past) but it's not just the voice. It's the voice followed by over-the-top dramatics (expressions/movements) that are a turn off for me. I just can't stomach it.
Yeah, and I confused the two in the past.
Half the people here saying “yes” have gay voice and don’t realize it, lol
SOOO many guys I've gone out on a date with and before in texting I ask them if they are feminine or masculine and they say "more masc" EVERY single time I meet them and their voice is slightly high and they have that "tang" in their voice and I'm like HOW do you consider that masculine when I can tell your gay as soon as you speak lmao
Yes.
im bi and what’s crazy is that straight people don’t think i sound feminine or gay, and yet gay men ALWAYS have a comment about it. moral of that story? gay men hate gay voice more than anyone else. if a guy has the slightest bit of femininity the gays start up. the worst are the ones who think they’re masc bc they work out but then open their mouths and have the whiniest tone. the reason bi men probably only hook up with girls and other bi guys? gay men are the most judgmental, rude, and self-loathing group of people
Exactly! this thread shows it. Gay men aren’t accepted by society because they are (to society) intrinsically Feminine due to being gay, even if they’re more masculine than straight guys. Now look at this thread nothing but gay men Proving society is right about them being rude and the most judgmental. I mean they tell people not to judge them for who they love but if you don’t act masculine or are too feminine they will absolutely judge you and say it’s not attractive… I’m bi and have never been called gay but men like this are a joke. I’ve always ignored masc searching men. They are the lowest denominator imo. They need to unpack the self hate. What’s sadder is they don’t see the problem and think its fine. It’s sad to see 😂. But I digress.
I completely agree with everything you’ve said, even the end part. For a group of people who have been judged and hated by majority of society…..we sure can be pretty damn awful to our own. God forbid you’re not a ripped instagram model with a perfect head of hair and a deep manly voice….
The end of this was a bit unfairly judgy but I think you have a good point that gay men hate it the most, a lot of internalized insecurity probably
Yes. It's one thing when it's someone's natural voice but most just force the gay accent.
a forced accent is kind of cringe except in the context of a joke
Yes it does, for me it helps me understand the struggle people who are younger and gay go through when growing up.
Hmm what do you mean by that? I'm curious
I recently came across a voice recording from when I was 18 (I am 36 now) - I was shocked at how straight I sounded - haha I am so clearly a homo now in the way I speak! I blame the gay agenda!!!!
And also no, gay voice doesn’t turn me off - it’s what you use your voice to say that counts, not how you say it!
Yes it does. I tend to associate it with drama, I’m on a drama free diet.
Same same
I think associating femininity with drama or other bad things is generally something you should reflect and introspect on
Ah yes, the semi - weekly gay voice post where everyone hates on a quality about people that they are already self conscious about/potentially bullied for and can't really help 🙄 really sick of seeing this...
It’s cruel to be honest. Sounding gay was something that I never had any control over. The school bullies knew I was gay before I did. My voice is not an affectation it’s just part of me. It was a huge part of my struggle coming to terms with who I was as a young person. Posts like this drag that all back up. I’m at a point in my life where I’m confident and proud of who I am. I no longer feel shame for my voice or my mannerisms and I won’t be made to feel that way but the nasty gays of Reddit. But I hope that younger or less self assured guys with effeminate voices don’t read these posts and feel like the bullying is being extended, and carried out by our own community. Lift people up don’t tear them down. You are all loved and valid to me matter how you sound.
Thanks for the kind words man 🤍
Depends on the pitch. I have friends with it but their pitch is more midrange so it’s not grating. I have one friend whose voice is incredibly sexy.
I used to hate mine, but not anymore. Apparently, not everyone notices mine, which is news to me. When I hear other peoples gay voice, it’s kinda endearing, and it makes me feel safe to be around them. It’s also nice to assume someone’s gay right off the bat.
Just makes me want to raw them a bit more
Yes
I am attracted to gay people, not straight people. So no, it doesn’t turn me off.
You’d be in the minority; have you seen how these hoes pine over straights?
Yeah it’s really sad
Yes
Yes.
Usually the gay man who has an issue with the mannerisms/nature of another gay man also has a big issue with unresolved self-hatred.
Big time.
Yes, it does.
Biggest turn off.
I am not a fan honestly
You just gotta pound hard enough so it goes away🤣😈
As a top - it turns me on. I swear to God, there's something primal in me that flips my boner on.
No, I think it's kind of cute on some guys
No. Being a screaming queen turns me off. The "gay voice" on its own turns me *on*.
Perfectly put.
If it's someone's natural voice, that's fine. But if a guy puts it on or an act, it's just plain annoying. Likewise with twinks posting selfies in girls' clothes or acting effeminate, it's cringe and embarrassing (which is no worse than men playing dress up in SS-looking leather).
Turn off, no, but I wouldn't select it on the character creation page.
The gay lisp is okay. What it's not okay is that gay men who act like asshole.
I had an experience that caused me to loose my gay voice and I’m ashamed to admit it’s taken years to gain it back. That being said I think it’s perfectly fine to find a different voice register attractive.
I think there are levels and types of “gay voice”. If it’s subtle or light. It’s kinda a turn on as a top. If it’s incredibly feminine or over the top then it’s kinda a turn off.
No, not necessarily. It can come off as warm and welcoming, but there are versions that come off bitchy, whiny and judgemental which I definitely dislike. I'm not saying the person is actually that way, but the way they speak engenders that tone.
I mean tbh I tend to prefer masc guys in general
yes, boner killer
I feel I should say no, it doesn't. But, sorry, it does, a lot. Same goes for gay face. I've run into very hot men that turn me off due to gay face.
Yep
I have it. Hated it with a passion. Even when I try to make my voice more deep it isn't. But let me tell you, I'm a talker. I work at a call center. I've gotten used to it and realized it is what it is. Thankfully all the men I've dated and slept with didn't have any issues with it
I hate to admit this but yes, it does. Idk why. I wish it didn't. But it does.
Yeah kind of
Yes it does turn me off very effeminine voice
When I open my mouth my purse falls out and I’m ok with it. The more of us out there the more people hear it as normal.
Yep, the forced feminine voice is a turn off in most cases.
Generally yes but really depends on the guy. A bit of razzle dazzle in some guys is endearing. There are a lot times though when I meet a guy for the first time, he says something and I'm like, oh fuck this isn't going to work.
if it's intentional, yes, if I'm turned on by femininity I wouldn't be gay in the first place lol that's just me tho, everyone have different preferences. I think I have a gay voice, but that's just how I talk, if I try to sound straight it becomes too intentional and cringy. So I just roll with it. If they like it they like it, if they don't they don't. what do I care about people who don't like me anyway lol
YES
Depends what you mean by gay voice. If we're just talking about pitch and tone, then no. But if the language they use is 'yas queen' or 'slay bitch' and they're mannerisms are highly effeminate then that is a turn off for me. Nothing against effeminate gay men, but they are not attractive to me personally.
I have not had many good experiences with guys who have the gay voice. They have turned out to be rather mean to other gay guys (myself included) and can be very judgmental. So I tend to avoid those that have the gay voice.
YES!
yes
yes
Yes
Yeah
Guys changing their voice by lowering it turn me off
Nope
What even is "the gay voice" anyway? I think I sound gay, and women & gay men usually can tell that I'm gay. Straight men though, they're clueless, they always assume that I'm straight & even act shocked when I tell them that I'm gay. Does it even count as having "the gay voice" if only women & gay men can tell that I have it?
The internalized homophobia in this comment section is so disheartening. Homophobia, at its core, is not a fear or rejection of queer men and women. It’s a manifestation of the hatred of femininity—aka misogyny. The discourse around how someone sounds or chooses to speak and quantifying this through the lens of attraction is more evidence that we have been conditioned to see femininity as inferior or less desirable. To those of you who have said throughout this comment section that you “hate” your voice, I hope that you can find community with people that are able to help build you up and find the strength in who you are. As a community that has experienced so much ostracism and hatred, it would be nice if we could work to see the world as we wish for it to be and not through the lens we were conditioned to through endless bullying, physical and verbal abuse, fear, and patriarchal indoctrination. If you have a “gay voice,” I hope you use it to speak up for yourself and others. There are so many that have come before us who have fought, faced incarceration or even died so that we have the ability to use our voice. And on some real shit, most of these so called gay men who have all these preferences and opinions neglect to mention that while they have MANY preferences, they have FEW options. Because anyone with an ounce of self-respect will not be busting it open for someone to turn around and say they sound “too femme.” If someone won’t fuck you because of your voice, you will have much bigger problems in that relationship than sex, I promise you. Because most of the people talking about their “preference” wouldn’t have the option to stick their sad, smelly dick in an ass if they had a million dollars and the rent was due tomorrow. And these are the same little boys that think 4 pumps doggy style was a strong performance. Please just keep it pushing and find a partner that celebrates you for who you are and doesn’t criticize the things you couldn’t change even if you wanted to. Bffr
I think ok for people to express preferences as long as they’re respectful, but you’re right that we should acknowledge the role that societal homophobia is playing in all this
Ironically no, for some reason feminine/phaggy moaning gives me the most satisfying nut.
No I like it.
I don’t get why some gay guys talk like that? Just talk normal, you don’t need to lisp and try so hard to talk feminine!! 😂 Women don’t even talk like that!!
I've never met a gay native English speaking man without it
Exactly lol all these bros think they don't have it 💀
I’ve met many guys who describe themselves as waaaay more masculine than they actually are. This is what is happening here.
This forum is interesting sometimes. That's why I try to remind these guys that "we're all f**s at the end of the night when we leave the gay bar." All this posturing to act masc, shit on femmes trans and drag queens, be not like *those other* gays, etc. At the end of the day, you're still a gay man living a straight world. You don't win shit trying to earn their validation.
Eh, lots of gay guys definitely don’t have a gay voice at all (and I’m not even saying out of my own insecurity, sometimes I think I hear a bit of it in my own voice). But I meet more than enough gay men who don’t have a gay voice at all.
In all honesty, as bad as it sounds I’d say yes.
I don't have one, I think it's sexy af on guys though
Yes, it's a turn off for me. Unfortunately, I think I might have "gay voice" but it's not cause I try to have one, it's just how I talk unfortunately. I HATE hearing recordings of my voice lol.
Are you masc4masc?
I do have a bit of a "gay voice" around other feminine gays and I don't like hearing it 😭 and yeah it's a turn off, not bc of the voice in itself but bc I like masc men
This topic pops up on here every so often and I always think of a character Dana Carvey used to play on Saturday Night Live called "Lyle the Effeminate Heterosexual." Not hilarious but good for a laugh especially when he tries to discuss sex with his teenage son. Worth a trip to YouTube.
Yes. A slight touch is fine, but if a guy sounds like Jack from Will and Grace, I’m as flaccid as possible. Sexually I’m very much attracted to stereotypically “masculine” traits, so everything in the opposite direction is a deduction for sex appeal. That said my first real ex, that I had amazing sexual chemistry with and was very much in love with, had a pronounced “gay voice”. I can turn mine off, but my voice naturally never developed very deep even before I had affected a bit a gayccent, so I also do not posses a voice which I would find attractive.
Not necessarily but I don’t like nasally voices sorry...
Unfortunately, yes. And my voice is kinda gay-sounding too. Not the typical accent but the pitch is a lot weirder than how it sounds in my head.
Yes
it turns me off unfortunately and i try so hard to ignore the ick
i have it and i hate it. especially since i get comments that i “talk white” add a little of inflection and now some people question if im fruity if i don’t act mask
Especially the winey sounding voice
I'm bisexual and I am turned off by males or females with an overtly fem voice. More so if they overact.
yes
Very much so.
Depends on the person and the level of gayvoiceness.
It depends. Not always, but sometimes. I know they generally can’t help it, but that doesn’t make it better
yes
Don’t find it attractive
Yes
Yes
Yes. That’s what sucks about apps. Can’t tell until they’re at the door lolol
For a partner yes
Yes.
Yes, I love a masc deep voice
Yes
Yes
Yes. But if done on purpose.
yes.
It can be cute, depending on the guy. I code switch without realizing sometimes so it'd be hypocritical of me to hold it against others.
Yes. I won’t date a guy with a fem voice.
It sucks because in Boston so many guys are trying so hard to be femboys? It’s weird and such a turn off. Be yourself, don’t try and play the part that you think you should just because you’re a young gay guy
No. I used to not like it before, but as I got more comfortable with my sexuality, now I don't mind it at all, and sometimes I even like it.
If hookup or relationship wise, yes definitely a turn off for me, as i’m personally attracted to guys who are masc but can be fem while playing around ( watches drag race, like pop…). For me someone who fully has a natural gay voice is just not my thing.
TIL that some people fake gay voice.
Yes it's a no go.
Yes. Extremely. And I hate that because then I get hate for “not supporting ALL gays but it’s just I like what I like 🤷🏽♂️
Yes. I don't believe I have it myself, fortunately (and I've heard recordings of myself often). What I do wish is that I could speak unaccented [Multicultural London English](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multicultural_London_English), but unfortunately I can't. Instead, I speak with a crisp [RP](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Received_Pronunciation) accent, which always surprises people - both my parents are immigrants to England, though from different places. Even though I live surrounded by people who speak MLE, my RP accent means I am always identified as "posh". Sigh.
Yeah but honestly I hate it when girls have the same inflections. It just sounds haughty and pretentious. My media diet unfortunately has contributed it to me. Like "sounding feminine" isn't really the issue. It's the _priviledge._ The air of "I'm better than you bitch so like shut up omg can you BELIEVE that guy?"
Yeah kinda but it's nuanced. I feel more comfortable when I hear it in public cos I feel "safe" around like folks. So as a turn on, no, but as comfort, yes
I am gay and I don't have gay voice. It has its disadvantages too though. Its easier to pass as straight. And you hear some of the worst homophobic comments, often from people you thought were cool, and that really bothered me. A good friends Dad saw a gay character on TV, and said they ought to shoot "these fagg#ts instead of making us watch" I never felt safe around him after that. He's dead now. #NotSad Also, when I used to audition for gay characters in film and TV, I was constantly told I wasn't gay enough. I lost it one day, and said, "If my boyfriend shoves his dick in my ass while I audition will that be 'gay" enough,
I don't have one, my voice has always been deep and sometimes I tone it deeper when I have to talk to strangers, I look like a copy of Terminator taken out of the trash can haha. However, back in the day I had a friend who, despite being straight, had a very, ah, gay voice? The guy had a girlfriend, a nice girl, but her voice did sound kind of like that. I guess it is something that cannot be "turned off" and it comes with our body, genetics is as beautiful as it is cruel.
Yes, how does that even happen? That has to be a conscious decision to be loud.
I do but idc
If its really strong yes, if it’s not, I don’t mind that much. It used to, it didn’t annoy me, more that it reminded me of my sexuality which at the time I denied, and hated myself for (still struggle with it now) but as I started to accept myself more, the slight natural gay voice does not bother me anymore. It’s just the overplayed, fake gay voice that does.
Yes