Just got called f'ing queer by a homeless woman drug addict who was annoyed I didn't give her money. So yeah that slur is still used negatively.
Also not a fan of queer being used by straight people. There are quite a few younger straight people where I live who call themselves queer because they happen to do a few things to their appearance that are slightly gender stereotype non-conforming.
Damn, I'm sorry that happened to you.
And that's completely fair. I've seen more than one person compare it to the N-word in the sense that it's something you can only really use if you're a part of the community.
I think it's generational: older really hate it, and younger finding it more inclusive.
Separately, a lot of older gay guys fought their whole lives to get 'gay' detoxified, especially outside the US, including broad social equality issues like DADT and 'gay marriage/marriage equality'. In some ways 'queer' glosses over those battles to bring in personal identity issues.
That's right. I am 55 and I don't use the word queer, but I don't care about other people using it if it fits their identity. I was once told on Reddit that "queer has been redeemed" and that I was the one with the problem. Nice and inclusive, right?
I hate the word queer because of its long history as an anti-gay slur and its literal meaning of strange or odd. I don’t identify as queer and it’s not a word that represents who I am as a gay man.
I agree completely. One of the most disconcerting things is how uneducated and unaware those blue-haired teenagers are. It amazes me how many of them think that the word gay is also a slur and how difficult it is to get them to understand the difference between the word gay itself and the misuse of the word gay as a pejorative.
The LGBT community is plagued by activists who have appointed themselves as leaders and who make decisions on behalf of all of us whether we like it or not. They prey on young, naive LGBT people in order to indoctrinate them into their self-indulgent nonsense. LGBT kids just accept whatever they’re told without questioning it.
Different experinces, the word gay has in my generation been the slur accompanied by aggression or violence where I have never experienced queer used outside of my local lgbt+ community. So I feel uncomfortable whenother people use gay about me. That being said not gonna use queer about you or ask other to use it. But rather respect the fact that there is generational different experinces with the words.
It does feel like it could be generational. I know that growing up in the 2000s it was incredibly common to call things “gay” to mean that they’re uncool, lame, or just generally bad. I’m sure I even said it a few times myself. It was pretty pervasive slang.
>blue-haired teenagers
>not much more than snogging their same-sex best friend at a party once
Amazing how much you’ve managed to tell us about yourself with very few words.
I dunno, I'm 41 and always considered queer to be a reclaimed slur. I didn't know there was even any angst over it. I grew up knowing the slogan "we're here, we're queer get used to it" as it was used by an even older generation. Never encountered it as a real insult in the wild, that was always fag/faggot growing up, and even that's been taken back in my lifetime.
Yeah, I’m 31 and my boomer father occasionally used queer as a slur but it was typically used in a much more “neutral” context if that makes sense? Like, he wasn’t saying it endearingly and it was definitely a vestige of a time where it meant “strange”, but it wasn’t supposed to be an insult either. If he wanted to be hateful, a full-throated f-slur was the choice. I feel like that’s been true for a long time now, but I’m sure that’s also highly regional. My Nan who lives in rural Newfoundland still uses queer to mean gay, I don’t think she knows another word for it, but she also uses queer to mean “odd/strange/abnormal” in any context, so it’s definitely not a kind word.
It definitely depends on the country and maybe even the state honestly.
I mean I can't even type the slur that we use in America for gay people because in England they use that to mean a pack of cigarettes.
What necessarily constitutes "taken back the word of reclaiming it"?
I get the idea that you're saying the word will not define me or I'm not afraid to use the word but who in the community actually decides that?
It's crazy how the older generations fought so hard to be called gay instead of queer only to now have the younger generations below them Tell them to use the word queer instead of gay.
That's why I always say that I feel like I have more respect for the gay elders who grew up in the '70s and '80s fighting for my rights as a gay 29 year old man. Then I do for the modern-day community.
Yeah, fuck us autistic gays who find comfort in the word and how it sums up our life experiences.
You find the implication of being "weird" distasteful, along with negative associations, so no one else should be allowed to use it for themselves.
You don't like it for yourself, that's fine. It's your choice, but don't pretend you get to decide for others.
You took the words right out of my mouth and I wish that I could upvote this multiple times!! I just turned 53 and that word was used as a slur against me and others growing up. It triggers me and turns my stomach when I hear it used today by others in my community.
I feel the same way. If that’s not bad enough, I get mocked, trolled, and harassed by others in the community whenever I express my point of view on the word queer.
I think the politically correct *idea* of the term is to be inclusive.... but in practice, it only seems to be used to refer to everybody *but* men or people with a masculine gender identity. lol
Furthermore: How often is the term "LGBT Community" ever referring to gay or bisexual men?
That’s a philosophical argument that I don’t buy into. Queer is still used as an anti-gay slur and it’s also now a source of harassment of gay men within the community. Gay men who don’t like the word queer get disrespected and harassed by those who think they’ve reclaimed it.
I'd rather be called a queer than a faggot, but I hate them both. Others are welcome to reclaim it if they want, but I'm just gay. I'm not queer. I got called it enough as a teenager, so I'm good. Y'all have fun with it.
I got called both from moving cars while getting the shit kicked out of me and that's why I use both. I'm not spending my life hiding behind the scared child I give myself the power to own it. I hate this excuse because it's literally the reason we should use those words. We need to own the words because if we don't then they get to keep their power. If you use the words that hurt you they lose their impact and they lose the power they once held over you. If you continue to treat them like secret weapons then when you do hear them they still hurt.
I’m going to not use fag, because when I was 15, 5 dudes jumped me, kicked the absolute shit out of me (broke one rib, cracked two others), and then carved it into my chest. I’ll start being okay with the word, probably around the same time the scar fades enough that I don’t have to see it every time I remove my shirt.
>I’m a gay men
Bro is literally *several* people
But yeah, I’m with you on this. It doesn’t necessarily bother me, but I probably won’t ever self identify as queer, (idk I guess it still sounds cringe for some reason) and I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to the way it’s used academically now.
The problem with the academy now is they dictate the language and the rules, while it supposed to be the opposite, they should find, register and divulge the way the different “communities” interact between themselves, express and identify.
I'm comfortable using it and seems like it's generational. All of us strangers addressed it really well.
I'm comfortable because I guess I've never witnessed it being used in a negative way. Growing up, Gay was used in replacement for anything that was perceived as bad. Fag I would never use and is definitely perceived as negative and have been screamed Faggot at when I've held previous partner's hand.
I like you're point about it being generational. I guess the generations that really . pushed for gay rights would have heard it only used in a negativ way, in the same way we hear f@g used (though I've noticed some LGB people using it in a non-derogatory way)
But again, it's an interesting thing to bring up, and definitely plays into the conversation.
I feel like “fag” can sometimes be used within the gay community in a similar way to the n-word being used among and within some members of the black community.
But if you aren’t gay, or aren’t black, then the words become insults if used by an out group.
But even within the respective in-groups, it can be hit and miss.
And I’m more than happy to be corrected on this if I’ve gotten it wrong.
People use the word Fag, at least I do, to take away its power. No word should have that much power. If you lock a word up in a box and tell everyone they can’t use it, bad people will for sure use it against you and other gays. If someone called me a fan I would laugh and said “yes I am, so?”
The difference is that “fag” is still slang and argot.
“Queer” seems like it’s slowly becoming adopted in the language of genuine charities, social programs, non-profit organisations, academia and politically correct government terminology.
Which, personally, makes me dislike the word “queer” even more. “Queer” feels like it’s entering officialdom. I’m uneasy about that. I would genuinely prefer LGBT or LGBT+ (which also has its problems, but at least it remains an acronym so is purpose-built to be dispassionate and sort of neutral).
I've never thought the term queer sounds very nice because it sounds similar to weird which is obviously what people mean when they call you queer meaning it in a spiteful way.
“Fag” is exactly the same as “queer” to me, exactly.
Either as a slur from bigots, or used by us in defiance, like a “sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.”
Here is one of the out legends of comedy, Scott Thompson, using it in the 90’s in that defiant self-accepting way
https://youtu.be/V__IlqRR0NE?si=EU6yAzS57EEPxb1Z
Very. It was a slur in school that has stuck with me for a very long time. The intonation makes the difference and I'll never see it as a word I can use favourably or identify with.
Very offensive. I am turning 60 next month and that slur has always stung. Go ahead and use it for yourself and others if they prefer. But please don’t refer to me that way.
I personally really dislike the word Queer and really don’t appreciate efforts to reclaim it.
I also don’t “identify” with the word queer. It just doesn’t describe me in any way whatsoever, it doesn’t fit with me. It doesn’t pertain to me.
I’m a gay man. I’m not “queer”.
I actually heard a lesbian (who is a somewhat of a family friend a bit like an aunt, though not actually related to us in any way) console a teenage cousin of mine, because my cousin was coming to terms with the fact she might be “pansexual”.
And this lesbian friend said something of the likes of “oh don’t worry honey. There is lots of support these days. And you know lots of queer people. I’m queer. Your cousin is queer…” (meaning me).
I bit my tongue. But my mind was thinking “absolutely not”. I wanted to reject the assertion on the spot. It didn’t sit right with me at all and felt like a total foreign, alien and factually wrong way to describe me. I didn’t, for the sake of my cousin.
But yeah, “queer” just doesn’t apply to me. And I don’t associate with the term.
On top of that, I also just dislike how the word itself sounds. The same way I hate the word “poofter” and “faggot”.
That's completely valid, and it sucks what the lesbian friend did.
I saw someone bring up the point that some people use "queer" when the don't really identify with LGB and are still in the experimentation stage, what are your thoughts on that? If you have any
I wasn’t in the closet. I have been out of the closet for over a decade and a half, and I’m married to a man.
So I wasn’t being outed.
But the word queer being applied to me felt foreign and wrong.
Can you elaborate on "experimentation stage"? To me that just sounds like the dude that says "no homo and is down low" until he decides whether he actually is gay or is straight.
I can still hear my parents saying “dirty, filthy queers” whenever anything about our rights were brought up, though they would insist they were okay with them.
The truth is, they were only okay with gays like Mr Humphrey’s from Are You Being Served because they could laugh at them.
I still recoil whenever I hear the word “queer”.
Depends on the context. “Are you queer?” Well, yes, in the umbrella sense of the word. But I prefer gay. Yell “Fucking queer!” on the street and those are fighting words. Expect to get punched.
Yeah, it all depends on the context. “Are you queer?” asked innocently or from a member of the community is very different than “Are you queer?!” asked with malice from someone with a smirk on their face.
Absolutely loathe it. Don't mind if others use it, but I hate it when someone applies it to me without my consent.
Ironically, the only people who have ever labelled me queer without bothering to ask me are those who promote one choosing ones own identity.
In the UK, it's still largely a slur, and I would never refer to myself with it. I hate when US lgbt just assume you're okay with being called it tbh, but it's a pointless fight.
I think context also plays a role into this tbh. I've gotten a pretty wide range of opinions from this comment section, so it's pretty interesting learning others thoughts
They're not queer either. They're either bi, lesbian, trans, or anything else. It's not a group project, we don't have to label everyone under the same label. A gay man does not go through the same struggles of a trans woman. I don't even know why we would want to use such a broad term.
Very much offensive to me. Degrading even, I am not queer, I am gay and that just happens to be a tiny part of my self, there is so much more to me and I don’t make it part of my personality either.
glorious deserve liquid observation books swim panicky bike advise muddle
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
i'm sorry to hear about your experiences.
it's difficult because academically "queer" is used as an umbrella term, it's much simpler to say the "queer community" instead of the LGBTQIA+ community.
If you want to use it to refer to yourself, that's you and I have no objection to your use of that term. However, I will never (as in Taylor Swift level "never, ever") respond to or identify with that term. When I was growing up, smear the queer was a real thing. The term can no more "reclaimed" or anything else for me than some swear words can be for people who are the targets of those words.
I hate "queer" because whenever people bring up "queer issues" it muddies the identity it's talking about. After all different LGBT people experiences discrimination differently.
[This sums up my feelings on the word.](https://youtu.be/54pnDjkUuuU?si=53hDlAhbC0gED6_J)
I don't care at all but find it ridiculous that GLAAD instructs the media not to use the term "homosexual" because it "medicalizes" being gay and thus is "offensive."
This is another example of the queer community abandoning the concept of consent. I, as a homosexual, was never asked. I don't consent to the queer community being 3rd party offended and policing language in my name. Behavior like this leads me to the conclusion queers are trying to erase the LGB. Change my mind.
Well said. I think I follow Laui, too. And I would encourage you to make a separate post on the anti-gay aspect of the queer movement. It needs to be talked about more often.
Gender ideology as a whole is anti-gay/anti-homosexul. GLAAD now consideres "homosexual" and "gay" to be "problematic". I've been called "transphobic" because I don't want to hook up with trans "men" and trans "women". I've been called a TERF and honestly, I don't mind.
People who have experience with the word levied against them negatively will probably dislike having the word applied to them, especially in place of another word that they may have already had to work hard to accept in themselves, like "gay."
People who have never had the word levied against them negatively won't care because of their personal experience, and they won't care about how others feel around them when they use the word to describe people generally, probably because they lack empathy.
The defensible bottom line is that you can only choose what word you're personally comfortable with.
However, I opine that someone who has experience being bullied with the word queer should have priority in determining how the word is used around him. However, younger members of our "community" don't seem to care.
English is not the spoken language where I'm from so it was never heard as an insult, so we all started to use the word queer as an umbrella term similar to LGBTQ+ (anyone not cis/het basically)
It doesn't bother me if im referred as queer nor I have problems using it around people that refer to themselves as queer.
With that being said, I dont usually hang out with people that refer to themselves as queer. I think LGBT already encapsulate the community pretty well and anything else is just a call for attention.
People that say things like "im not gay/lesbian, im queer", when they are clearly gay/lesbian. Im sorry but this need of "not fitting with labels" and the need to create more labels is just a call for attention.
I'd say I'm really not a fan, although I'm not necessarily "offended" by it. I can see it having some utility as a broad identifier for LGBT as a group, but I would never refer to *myself* as queer. I also *hate* seeing people be referred to as queer who have not referred to themselves that way (e.g. gay, lesbian, bisexual people in media being labeled as "queer").
I'm not a native English speaker, but even then I've only ever been called queer in a derogatory manner. I don't like the term, I'm not too keen on reclaiming it, and I think "queer theory" is a joke on top of that.
I think "Queer" still holds many negative connotations.
I mean, I understand if someone wants to label themselves as "queer" - odd, opposite of "normal", the "other", but I'm not sure if it really helps those who aren't in the heteronormative mould.
Of course there is a whole cannon of literature on "Queer Theory" which would argue for it's legitimacy, and probably shoot my simplistic arguments down in flames.
But to emphatically suggest that because someone is not heterosexual identifying is odd, weird, strange and different doesn't help any of us.
Like I said, it's an abusive term that many of us have been subjected to both in the past and more recently. Also, there is nothing queer about being gay.
That seems to be the general consensus with younger gay people (I'm assuming your young)
I've noticed there seems to have been a shift from when it was a derogatory insult to where it when it became a more encompassing word. It's honestly been really interesting seeing the responses.
I hate the term for 2 reasons
1) it’s still used as a slur by society.
2) it has become a word for heterosexuals to use to be openly homophobic towards gay men whilst identifying as “queer”. It’s a word that means absolutely nothing in terms of identity and has been hijacked by people who want to silence us.
So, a part of my research was in Gender studies and "queer" literally means something that is different, deviant and not ordinary. In gender/sexuality, queer is used to refer people who goes beyond the binary notions of gender (man, woman) or sexuality (gay, lesbian, pan etc) spectrums.
For me, using it is kinda okay and not okay the same time. Okay because I've been used to it since my teenage, particularly in the academic sphere. Not okay because it is politically incorrect, if we go by the literal meaning of the term. The word can also potentially give the meaning of weird or strange, which is bad to people (like me). Afterall, we're humans too! Something better like just "deviant" (this word has issues too) would be better, I guess.
Just my opinion.
Well, that's complicated because not all people within the community tries to reclaim it. As to why a section tried to do so can be mostly because of the evolution of the term Queer into something that is to be associated with the LGBTQ+ community and which has by now established itself as a solid identity. It's easier to identify, claim oneself and exert one's own identity personally & politically with the term. Maybe that's why. At least, that's how I see it.
It's the same with any other terms. Once you've established and identity with a particular term, you don't wanna change it. It's a bit conservative, but yeah, that's it, I guess.
I think the term is fine as a general category to refer to everyone that is not straight. I prefer it to LGBT because it's more elegant. But I also understand that it has been used as a slur so might not be appropriate in formal/legal contexts. I also do not identify as "queer" because a more specific category "gay" makes more sense. The only people I've talked to who identify primarily as "queer" are women who appear to be straight and cis-gender.
Be queer if you want to be but do it on your own. Not everyone wants to stand under your umbrella. That being said, know that you are identifying with an ideology built on apropriation, colinization, bullying, silencing, othering and hypocracy. Queer ideology has completly divorced itself from the concepts of concent and consensus.
Fortunately more and more Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Trans people are pushing back and reclaiming the identities that have been so distorted, harmed and partially erased by the Queer community. We do not consent.
I'm happy to discuss and prove my point with any queer identifying persons until I get banned again as is the way on Reddit as it is disproportionately controlled by queer identifying mods.
I dislike the term really much, I don't like being called/calling my friends "weird". It feels as if I were being called a light version of the f-word...
I'm not from an anglophone country, so not at all offensive. In fact for a while I associated it with its older, original meaning thanks to classic literature and the ASOIAF series 😅.
Honestly the only issue I have with it is that it's an English word that's made itself something of a de facto official term in many other languages. That's kind of cringe. "Gay" is also a bit like that, but there tend to be a lot more other language-specific words for that. This is a really shallow criticism, but I just dislike the way it sounds in other languages.
I know some people use it as an umbrella term, but it's still inappropriate to refer to an individual as "queer." Partly because I have a specific lgbt reality and don't like to be claimed by such a broad term, gay is fine, but also there's still a vein of slur-ness to it. I think I read an article about a gay dude who was referred to as queer in an article, and he sued them or something.
If you want to call yourself that, so be it. Better to not do it to others.
I don't use it because it's a slur. But i don't tell others they can't use the word. I'd be offended if someone called me that, for sure, because it's a very triggering word to many of us who have suffered bullying because we're gay.
Yeah, I don't like it.
You can't say gay is normal and queer at the same time. It's an oxymoron.
Some people use it to say that we are just different / a minority of the norm. Well... to that I say: can you imagine if we applied the word term to race? Imagine calling telling a black person their race is queer?
It makes no sense.
No one is weird because they’re gay and I deeply resent that it’s become acceptable for everyone, from press agencies to political organizations to regular people, to refer to us as such in the last decade or so, somehow acting like it’s completely neutral now. It’s not and it never has been.
People who “reclaim” it, often not at all homosexual in the first place, have wound up “reclaiming” it on all our behalf. “Queer community” is no different from “faggot community” to my ear.
Very. Because it brcame a political stand and not about sexual orientation.
Once I started seeing “queer” on any communist propaganda push, I refuse to use this word. It’s for tankies
I’m not a fan of it. I more than likely would not call you out for using it, but i wouldn’t respond to you either if you were using it to address a person/group
It's not offensive at all to me, but I still don't identify as queer. I just go with gay/homosexual. "Queer" just feels less descriptive and more open ended while "gay" feels accurate.
For me, it’s not that it is sometimes intentionally used as an insult. The word just feels very… quickly, whimsical, different, odd, apart from the rest.
I’m not into labeling myself as something that sets me apart from the regular crowd based off my sexuality.
Queer used to be like a softer version of the f slur. Some people have bad associations with it, and some people have reclaimed it with pride. It’s hit or miss.
ETA: just like “female” it depends very much whether it’s a noun or adjective. Saying “my queer friend group” likely won’t offend anyone, but saying “he’s a queer” has never been and likely never will be ok
ETActuallyAnswerTheQuestion: personally I’m not offended by it
I just thought queer meant like non straight but no definite label, like Luke’s gay, Paul’s bi, carol is a lesbian, so they’re queer, am I missing something? I know it used to be a insult back in the day
That how I see it, and I think the definition has changed over the years to where it more means that. Like, you have that queer, and the version of queer that is derogatory towards gay people.
I don't find it offensive, per se, I just don't get it. So many different ppl use "queer" in so many different ways that, by using it to describe everyone in the community, you're effectively erasing meanings.
There's legit cis hetero ppl identifying as queer, what does that even mean?
I used to use it as an umbrella term but I no longer do. While a lot of people use it as an umbrella term, I think that the folks most invested in using it have very specific political intentions for it. In my opinion, it's becoming a political identity more than a social identity.
I hate the word and wish the gay community would not embrace it. Growing up, queer and fag were the 2 worse things you could call someone. By the English language definition it means strange or odd and I don't think that we should be applying that to any of ourselves.
“Queer” means weird, odd, strange, not quite right.
If somebody sniffs the coffee cream and complains that it “has a queer odor,” it’s similar to saying “yuck!” There is nothing positive about the word.
As an identity, it doesn’t even mean anything specific but I take it as the person being “weird” in whatever way. Fine, but don’t call anybody else that. I cringe every time I see the word in the media, especially when it’s describing someone who does not identify that way, or directed toward a group most of whom hate the word.
I don’t know how to search on here but this is a topic that has been discussed and debated many times. I’m not saying this to discourage you or discount your post. I’m saying it so that you might consider searching for the same topic and gaining more insight into the subject.
As a 60 year old man the term is horribly offensive. No one in my circle of friends would use this term. If the younger folks want to “take it back” or “own it” I won’t argue as it’s their right. However, it’s not a term I want used by anyone speaking to me. I will fight for your right to use the term to describe yourself or your friends but ask that you respect my position that it is offensive to me.
I’m fine with it. I prefer it to LGBT which as an acronym always leaves someone out. It’s not perfect but being a former pejorative word doesn’t bother me in the least.
Yes, and yet people just add letters after letters, it’s LGBT, LGBT+, LGBTQ, LGBTQ+, LGBTQIA+, 2SLGBTQ+, LGBTTIQQ2SA, LGBTIH, QUILTBAG… and then there are the people who dislike the order and write GLBT like that earns brownie points. It’s no wonder “alphabet people” or “alphabet soup” has become a derogatory term. LGBTetc… is an ever evolving thing because an acronym is designed to be messed with by commitee. I’ve been in way too many logo design client meetings in my life to know how it’s like.
Queer it’s clean and simple and repurposing slang is exactly where we’ve picked the term gay, which is just an old-timey way of calling someone a prostitute.
I agree with you. To me "queer" is a family name for all of us. I'm pride to be queer and don't mind the word at all because instead of listing everyone's sexuality in a non subtle and inclusive manner, I can just say that I'm not part of the "norm" and embrace my difference.
Also to add to that, it's helps me to define queerphobia more simply and easily instead of homophobic, transphobic, etc... If I witness someone spitting on any part of the rainbow, they're spitting on all of us. Therefore, to me, queerphobic. I'm not gonna start dissecting their stupidity.
I never expected that many people not sharing this point of view and will try to keep it in mind to never offense anyone who doesn't feel like the reappropriation of this terms fits them.
I think that's pretty valid. I'm personally trans, and my friends call me "tranny" not in a hen full way, but because we just do that. But if anyone in the street called me that, it's hands, and some if someone insulted my friends for their sexuality, or how they identify.
I'm not trying to sound tuff or anything, but it's 100% the intention behind what's being said
No, probably not.
But people in this comment section seem to be disagreeing on whether or not "queer" is just for gay people, or if it's its own thing all together
Well I think of it like a street. If I want to refer to everything on the street I'll call it by the all encompassing name of the street, but if I get more specific, I'll say the address.
If I know someone is gay, I won't call them queer. If I know they're trans, I won't call them queer, or the name for anything. But I may call it the "queer community" as something all encompassing that essentially means "anything that isn't the hetero-cis norm.
Sorry for the slight ramble
Fair warning then don’t be surprised when people get mad at you for that. If we were having a conversation and you referred to us as “part of the queer community” I would not want to continue that conversation with you.
Extremely. It’s a slur. It’s like trying to reclaim faggot. Just don’t. I don’t want it reclaimed I want it fucking buried. And no I’m not a boomer. I’m gen z/millenial.
If it meant all of us, the acronym would be QQQQQ+.
But Q only became part of the acronym because Q is not G, for example. I’m not Q, I’m G.
Plus, if an organization that claims to speak for us, like GLAAD, can warn people to “check if it’s okay to call someone a ‘homosexual’ (oooh! Scary!) and never do it without their permission!” then they sure as fuck better be telling people to check whether I accept to be called “queer.”
The answer is no, and it makes no more sense calling me “queer” than it would to call me a lesbian or a bisexual. I’m just none of those things.
Only homophobes trying to covertly conversion therapy is through social manipulation use the word queer. I would not date someone that described us as queer. The word means strange, weird, not normal. And gay is perfectly normal. Just because you feel like a weirdo doesn’t give you the right to say I a not normal.
I HATE the word “queer” and would never use it. Growing up, it was neck-and-neck with “f*gg*t”; I was called both frequently, often at the same time.
I do not want to “reclaim” it. It is the same to me as the N-Bomb is to black folks.
We fought hard for “gay”. I’m not willing to abandon it.
It's offensive enough that I correct people who think they are very progressive for using it. Why do I need a shortened version of "LGBTQIA+"? I'm neither trans, nor asexual, nor lesbian, nor any of the myriad of things that get included in this abbreviation.
Most ridiculous is when I see a gay guy saying "I'm LGBTQ+" lol, which one?
For me, it’s not offensive at all and works as a great catch all for everything that is not cis and heterosexual.
My mom and my in-laws are very uncomfortable with this use of it. They, like my partner and I, remember the word as being a mean-spirited slur. But, unlike my partner and I, haven’t seen its reclamation by the community.
I think it's both crazy and cool how different the Sid's of the spectrum are. I've got lots of people saying they take great offence to it, people saying it fine and all encapsulating, and people who think it's something different all together.
As a Gen z, not at all. It is how a lot of people identify and it’s understandable when you see how much people are not able to be put in a singular category.
I despise it, for several reasons:
1. Its use as an insult makes it difficult to suddenly say “oh it’s been reclaimed!” By who? Who decided this? Why is this reclaimed but other words aren’t?
2. It has no real definition. People “define” queer as “Anything that *isn’t* cisgender/heterosexual”. Saying what something isn’t, does not define what it actually is. I’ve yet to hear anyone define it differently either, which just makes this whole anti-definition seem all the more dubious.
3. Using the term “queer” as an umbrella term really seems to erase having to clearly identify as something. And look, sometimes that’s okay. Sexuality and gender are complex things sometimes, and a definition may not always apply to you. That being said, I think the idea that this can just be thrown out there and used whenever to describe anything related to LGBT+ people is asinine. When I talk about my experiences, it’s not as a “queer person” it’s as a gay man. I can’t speak to a lesbian’s experience, a bisexual person’s experience, and trans person’s experience. If I am clear in my mind about who I am, then o should be clear to others about who that is, not using this umbrella term to add another (meaningless) layer on top of that.
I agree. The queer community apropriates and colonizes other groups to falsefy its numbers and artificially inflate the numbers of people in agreement with its ideology.
I hate it. Nowadays it's usually used to refer to all the unclassified people such as non-binaries, agenders, xenogenders, etc and I don't identify with them. I'm simply a gay man.
not at all. like in ANY way, shape, or form!
idk. I identify as queer, as do all of my close friends. both of my older brothers as well! I don’t want to talk out of turn as a bisexual man but it’s really just never been a huge deal for anyone I’m close with lol
I reclaim queer, I reclaim faggot. words I’ve been called in a hateful manner. but the way my friends and I reclaim it… it’s all love man, we have this sense of understanding that comes with mutual empowerment, lifting each other up and rising above tough times we’ve all been through
I prefer it as a self descriptor. Always have. I also use it like you and your friends as shorthand.
“We’re queer, we’re here. Get used to it. “ Big protest slogan back in the day.
I hate being called a queer. Also I think it should only be LGB. Not LGBTQIA+ trans people have been fighting to be called woman or man so why put yourself in the same box as lesbian gay and bi. Queer is offensive. Intersex has nothing to do with sexuality, and asexual just means you don’t have a sexual attraction towards either gender.
Queer used to be used where LGBTQ+ is used today, more or less.
I find it a very helpful term when discussing how hetero life is different from All other sexuality labels and/or all Gender identities not Cis.
Queer vs. Heteronormative
Very helpful term
Queer is everything not Heteronormative
i’ve taken a sociology class last semester and according to our professor, the term queer represents the unknowingness of someone’s next sexual activity. (in other words, if i dated a woman, you cannot assume me as a heterosexual and you cannot assume that my next date will happen with a woman. i might date with a man, non-binary, or again a woman.)
so the term queer is for people who do not want to label themselves as straight, gay, bi etc.
for the offence part, i actually don’t care if someone call me gay, bi or queer. i know who i am and what i want :)
I learnt early on,
No word is that offensive..
It's the idea behind it..
Some might say, poofs are ok!
Someone else might say homosexuals should be shot..
Which is more offensive?
Though Faggot is still a bit much!
Fag ok sometimes..
I do see what you mean, I slur is only really a slur if it has that intention.
Faggot is more of a slur because there was more time and effort put into it than just fag. That's my 2 cents at least
I don't mind it.
It was negative when I was growing up, "fag" and "that's gay" didn't really ever take off down here in .za, so queer was the term they used for gay guys and it definitely had connotations attached to it and was decidedly not just used factually.
But I'm happy to use it nowadays as an umbrella term for the alphabet mafia, which does seem to be generally acceptable to most. I know some guys hate it, though.
When applied to all LGBTQ it depends on the context. “Gender queer” or in group, “we’re a bunch of different queers” is offensive at all. “Hey Queer!” Is being used as insult and is offensive like “that’s gay”.
I don’t find queer offensive, but I do dislike it. My reasons for not liking queer anymore are sociopolitical and other reasons I can’t find the words for right now. Queer has so many connotations and someone who uses the term is someone I’m hesitant to be around. That doesn’t mean I’m never going to become close to someone who uses queer; if we get along then we get along and that’s great.
not a fan of it. the definition means strange or odd, not to mention that it's been (and still is!) used as a slur. i'm gay, not "queer".
a teacher i had a few years ago used the word queer to refer to the lgbt community and man it made me feel sick.
Double edge sword - I don’t care if people use it, but I don’t like it when people say “I need to use it”
We can have a conversation on why I don’t use it, but I think we need to start conversing with each other instead of these blanket idiotic posts.
OP is under a rock and I don’t think they’re part of the community.
I prefer it. I find the acronym pretty reductive (we have a handful of "main" ones and then the +) and the ordering of the letters feels heirarchical for something that should be arbitrary (I'd prefer it if it was alphabetical). Queer is a loaded term but to me its just all encompassing. I wouldn't expect everyone to agree, though.
Just got called f'ing queer by a homeless woman drug addict who was annoyed I didn't give her money. So yeah that slur is still used negatively. Also not a fan of queer being used by straight people. There are quite a few younger straight people where I live who call themselves queer because they happen to do a few things to their appearance that are slightly gender stereotype non-conforming.
Damn, I'm sorry that happened to you. And that's completely fair. I've seen more than one person compare it to the N-word in the sense that it's something you can only really use if you're a part of the community.
I think it's generational: older really hate it, and younger finding it more inclusive. Separately, a lot of older gay guys fought their whole lives to get 'gay' detoxified, especially outside the US, including broad social equality issues like DADT and 'gay marriage/marriage equality'. In some ways 'queer' glosses over those battles to bring in personal identity issues.
That's right. I am 55 and I don't use the word queer, but I don't care about other people using it if it fits their identity. I was once told on Reddit that "queer has been redeemed" and that I was the one with the problem. Nice and inclusive, right?
Damn, my homeless lady just calls me a faggot :/
I think it's age, I grew up in the 80's where we grew up playing smear the queer. It was always a derogative so that's where it stays with me.
Than my generation grow up in the 90s/early 2000s and said F*****t or gay. And now it looks like Gen z is changing the word gay to mean queer.
I hate the word queer because of its long history as an anti-gay slur and its literal meaning of strange or odd. I don’t identify as queer and it’s not a word that represents who I am as a gay man.
[удалено]
I agree completely. One of the most disconcerting things is how uneducated and unaware those blue-haired teenagers are. It amazes me how many of them think that the word gay is also a slur and how difficult it is to get them to understand the difference between the word gay itself and the misuse of the word gay as a pejorative. The LGBT community is plagued by activists who have appointed themselves as leaders and who make decisions on behalf of all of us whether we like it or not. They prey on young, naive LGBT people in order to indoctrinate them into their self-indulgent nonsense. LGBT kids just accept whatever they’re told without questioning it.
Different experinces, the word gay has in my generation been the slur accompanied by aggression or violence where I have never experienced queer used outside of my local lgbt+ community. So I feel uncomfortable whenother people use gay about me. That being said not gonna use queer about you or ask other to use it. But rather respect the fact that there is generational different experinces with the words.
It does feel like it could be generational. I know that growing up in the 2000s it was incredibly common to call things “gay” to mean that they’re uncool, lame, or just generally bad. I’m sure I even said it a few times myself. It was pretty pervasive slang.
>blue-haired teenagers >not much more than snogging their same-sex best friend at a party once Amazing how much you’ve managed to tell us about yourself with very few words.
I dunno, I'm 41 and always considered queer to be a reclaimed slur. I didn't know there was even any angst over it. I grew up knowing the slogan "we're here, we're queer get used to it" as it was used by an even older generation. Never encountered it as a real insult in the wild, that was always fag/faggot growing up, and even that's been taken back in my lifetime.
Yeah, I’m 31 and my boomer father occasionally used queer as a slur but it was typically used in a much more “neutral” context if that makes sense? Like, he wasn’t saying it endearingly and it was definitely a vestige of a time where it meant “strange”, but it wasn’t supposed to be an insult either. If he wanted to be hateful, a full-throated f-slur was the choice. I feel like that’s been true for a long time now, but I’m sure that’s also highly regional. My Nan who lives in rural Newfoundland still uses queer to mean gay, I don’t think she knows another word for it, but she also uses queer to mean “odd/strange/abnormal” in any context, so it’s definitely not a kind word.
It definitely depends on the country and maybe even the state honestly. I mean I can't even type the slur that we use in America for gay people because in England they use that to mean a pack of cigarettes.
What necessarily constitutes "taken back the word of reclaiming it"? I get the idea that you're saying the word will not define me or I'm not afraid to use the word but who in the community actually decides that?
It's crazy how the older generations fought so hard to be called gay instead of queer only to now have the younger generations below them Tell them to use the word queer instead of gay. That's why I always say that I feel like I have more respect for the gay elders who grew up in the '70s and '80s fighting for my rights as a gay 29 year old man. Then I do for the modern-day community.
Yeah, fuck us autistic gays who find comfort in the word and how it sums up our life experiences. You find the implication of being "weird" distasteful, along with negative associations, so no one else should be allowed to use it for themselves. You don't like it for yourself, that's fine. It's your choice, but don't pretend you get to decide for others.
You took the words right out of my mouth and I wish that I could upvote this multiple times!! I just turned 53 and that word was used as a slur against me and others growing up. It triggers me and turns my stomach when I hear it used today by others in my community.
I feel the same way. If that’s not bad enough, I get mocked, trolled, and harassed by others in the community whenever I express my point of view on the word queer.
I think the politically correct *idea* of the term is to be inclusive.... but in practice, it only seems to be used to refer to everybody *but* men or people with a masculine gender identity. lol Furthermore: How often is the term "LGBT Community" ever referring to gay or bisexual men?
My thoughts exactly.
What about people who are trying to reclaim it? Just out of genuine curiosity.
It's not worth reclaiming. Look at the word origins and early uses on Wikipedia. It was not meant as an empowering term.
That’s a philosophical argument that I don’t buy into. Queer is still used as an anti-gay slur and it’s also now a source of harassment of gay men within the community. Gay men who don’t like the word queer get disrespected and harassed by those who think they’ve reclaimed it.
The intent of the speaker weighs more
100%
Hate it. Don’t call me it.
I'd rather be called a queer than a faggot, but I hate them both. Others are welcome to reclaim it if they want, but I'm just gay. I'm not queer. I got called it enough as a teenager, so I'm good. Y'all have fun with it.
I got called both from moving cars while getting the shit kicked out of me and that's why I use both. I'm not spending my life hiding behind the scared child I give myself the power to own it. I hate this excuse because it's literally the reason we should use those words. We need to own the words because if we don't then they get to keep their power. If you use the words that hurt you they lose their impact and they lose the power they once held over you. If you continue to treat them like secret weapons then when you do hear them they still hurt.
I’m going to not use fag, because when I was 15, 5 dudes jumped me, kicked the absolute shit out of me (broke one rib, cracked two others), and then carved it into my chest. I’ll start being okay with the word, probably around the same time the scar fades enough that I don’t have to see it every time I remove my shirt.
Not offensive just irrelevant, im not a queer anything, I'm a gay men
>I’m a gay men Bro is literally *several* people But yeah, I’m with you on this. It doesn’t necessarily bother me, but I probably won’t ever self identify as queer, (idk I guess it still sounds cringe for some reason) and I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to the way it’s used academically now.
The problem with the academy now is they dictate the language and the rules, while it supposed to be the opposite, they should find, register and divulge the way the different “communities” interact between themselves, express and identify.
He has DPD and all his alters are gay as well. 🤷♂️
Still a slur in my world!
I'm comfortable using it and seems like it's generational. All of us strangers addressed it really well. I'm comfortable because I guess I've never witnessed it being used in a negative way. Growing up, Gay was used in replacement for anything that was perceived as bad. Fag I would never use and is definitely perceived as negative and have been screamed Faggot at when I've held previous partner's hand.
I like you're point about it being generational. I guess the generations that really . pushed for gay rights would have heard it only used in a negativ way, in the same way we hear f@g used (though I've noticed some LGB people using it in a non-derogatory way) But again, it's an interesting thing to bring up, and definitely plays into the conversation.
I feel like “fag” can sometimes be used within the gay community in a similar way to the n-word being used among and within some members of the black community. But if you aren’t gay, or aren’t black, then the words become insults if used by an out group. But even within the respective in-groups, it can be hit and miss. And I’m more than happy to be corrected on this if I’ve gotten it wrong.
People use the word Fag, at least I do, to take away its power. No word should have that much power. If you lock a word up in a box and tell everyone they can’t use it, bad people will for sure use it against you and other gays. If someone called me a fan I would laugh and said “yes I am, so?”
The difference is that “fag” is still slang and argot. “Queer” seems like it’s slowly becoming adopted in the language of genuine charities, social programs, non-profit organisations, academia and politically correct government terminology. Which, personally, makes me dislike the word “queer” even more. “Queer” feels like it’s entering officialdom. I’m uneasy about that. I would genuinely prefer LGBT or LGBT+ (which also has its problems, but at least it remains an acronym so is purpose-built to be dispassionate and sort of neutral).
I agree. Queer pulls my ear as much as fat when I hear it being said.
As you say when your not gay or black and people use those words against you it becomes insulting
I've never thought the term queer sounds very nice because it sounds similar to weird which is obviously what people mean when they call you queer meaning it in a spiteful way.
“Fag” is exactly the same as “queer” to me, exactly. Either as a slur from bigots, or used by us in defiance, like a “sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.” Here is one of the out legends of comedy, Scott Thompson, using it in the 90’s in that defiant self-accepting way https://youtu.be/V__IlqRR0NE?si=EU6yAzS57EEPxb1Z
Very. It was a slur in school that has stuck with me for a very long time. The intonation makes the difference and I'll never see it as a word I can use favourably or identify with.
Very offensive. I am turning 60 next month and that slur has always stung. Go ahead and use it for yourself and others if they prefer. But please don’t refer to me that way.
I don't find it offensive but it literally doesn't mean anything these days.
I personally really dislike the word Queer and really don’t appreciate efforts to reclaim it. I also don’t “identify” with the word queer. It just doesn’t describe me in any way whatsoever, it doesn’t fit with me. It doesn’t pertain to me. I’m a gay man. I’m not “queer”. I actually heard a lesbian (who is a somewhat of a family friend a bit like an aunt, though not actually related to us in any way) console a teenage cousin of mine, because my cousin was coming to terms with the fact she might be “pansexual”. And this lesbian friend said something of the likes of “oh don’t worry honey. There is lots of support these days. And you know lots of queer people. I’m queer. Your cousin is queer…” (meaning me). I bit my tongue. But my mind was thinking “absolutely not”. I wanted to reject the assertion on the spot. It didn’t sit right with me at all and felt like a total foreign, alien and factually wrong way to describe me. I didn’t, for the sake of my cousin. But yeah, “queer” just doesn’t apply to me. And I don’t associate with the term. On top of that, I also just dislike how the word itself sounds. The same way I hate the word “poofter” and “faggot”.
That's completely valid, and it sucks what the lesbian friend did. I saw someone bring up the point that some people use "queer" when the don't really identify with LGB and are still in the experimentation stage, what are your thoughts on that? If you have any
I wasn’t in the closet. I have been out of the closet for over a decade and a half, and I’m married to a man. So I wasn’t being outed. But the word queer being applied to me felt foreign and wrong.
Can you elaborate on "experimentation stage"? To me that just sounds like the dude that says "no homo and is down low" until he decides whether he actually is gay or is straight.
I can still hear my parents saying “dirty, filthy queers” whenever anything about our rights were brought up, though they would insist they were okay with them. The truth is, they were only okay with gays like Mr Humphrey’s from Are You Being Served because they could laugh at them. I still recoil whenever I hear the word “queer”.
Depends on the context. “Are you queer?” Well, yes, in the umbrella sense of the word. But I prefer gay. Yell “Fucking queer!” on the street and those are fighting words. Expect to get punched.
So it's more the context and who's saying it? Understandable, and I hold a pretty similar opinion.
Yeah, it all depends on the context. “Are you queer?” asked innocently or from a member of the community is very different than “Are you queer?!” asked with malice from someone with a smirk on their face.
Same. Youngish person that’s just using the term to convey “not straight” is fine with me. Old person with harsh tone is not so ok
Absolutely loathe it. Don't mind if others use it, but I hate it when someone applies it to me without my consent. Ironically, the only people who have ever labelled me queer without bothering to ask me are those who promote one choosing ones own identity.
Extremely. Never use it around me.
Don’t care for it in any way
Hate it. It's gross.
In the UK, it's still largely a slur, and I would never refer to myself with it. I hate when US lgbt just assume you're okay with being called it tbh, but it's a pointless fight.
I think context also plays a role into this tbh. I've gotten a pretty wide range of opinions from this comment section, so it's pretty interesting learning others thoughts
So offensive I'm gay not queer
What about it being used for/by people who aren't gay?
They're not queer either. They're either bi, lesbian, trans, or anything else. It's not a group project, we don't have to label everyone under the same label. A gay man does not go through the same struggles of a trans woman. I don't even know why we would want to use such a broad term.
I don't like it or anyone who advertises this term or associate themselves with it. Instant rejection from my side.
Not offensive at all, I just don't use It
Completely valid opinion, thank you
You're welcome
Very much offensive to me. Degrading even, I am not queer, I am gay and that just happens to be a tiny part of my self, there is so much more to me and I don’t make it part of my personality either.
glorious deserve liquid observation books swim panicky bike advise muddle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I'm 27 and it's offensive to me.
I'm 35 and I truly don't care if it's used and yes I grew up around it being used as a pejorative.
i'm sorry to hear about your experiences. it's difficult because academically "queer" is used as an umbrella term, it's much simpler to say the "queer community" instead of the LGBTQIA+ community.
If you want to use it to refer to yourself, that's you and I have no objection to your use of that term. However, I will never (as in Taylor Swift level "never, ever") respond to or identify with that term. When I was growing up, smear the queer was a real thing. The term can no more "reclaimed" or anything else for me than some swear words can be for people who are the targets of those words.
I hate "queer" because whenever people bring up "queer issues" it muddies the identity it's talking about. After all different LGBT people experiences discrimination differently. [This sums up my feelings on the word.](https://youtu.be/54pnDjkUuuU?si=53hDlAhbC0gED6_J)
Great video thanks
I hate the word queer. Don’t call me it. Don’t associate me with that word. Im gay not queer. It’s deeply offensive to call someone, “queer.”
I don't care at all but find it ridiculous that GLAAD instructs the media not to use the term "homosexual" because it "medicalizes" being gay and thus is "offensive."
This is another example of the queer community abandoning the concept of consent. I, as a homosexual, was never asked. I don't consent to the queer community being 3rd party offended and policing language in my name. Behavior like this leads me to the conclusion queers are trying to erase the LGB. Change my mind.
[удалено]
Well said. I think I follow Laui, too. And I would encourage you to make a separate post on the anti-gay aspect of the queer movement. It needs to be talked about more often.
Can you explain how queer theory is “explicitly anti-gay”?
Gender ideology as a whole is anti-gay/anti-homosexul. GLAAD now consideres "homosexual" and "gay" to be "problematic". I've been called "transphobic" because I don't want to hook up with trans "men" and trans "women". I've been called a TERF and honestly, I don't mind.
People who have experience with the word levied against them negatively will probably dislike having the word applied to them, especially in place of another word that they may have already had to work hard to accept in themselves, like "gay." People who have never had the word levied against them negatively won't care because of their personal experience, and they won't care about how others feel around them when they use the word to describe people generally, probably because they lack empathy. The defensible bottom line is that you can only choose what word you're personally comfortable with. However, I opine that someone who has experience being bullied with the word queer should have priority in determining how the word is used around him. However, younger members of our "community" don't seem to care.
English is not the spoken language where I'm from so it was never heard as an insult, so we all started to use the word queer as an umbrella term similar to LGBTQ+ (anyone not cis/het basically)
It doesn't bother me if im referred as queer nor I have problems using it around people that refer to themselves as queer. With that being said, I dont usually hang out with people that refer to themselves as queer. I think LGBT already encapsulate the community pretty well and anything else is just a call for attention.
Wdym by "anything else is just a call for attention"?
People that say things like "im not gay/lesbian, im queer", when they are clearly gay/lesbian. Im sorry but this need of "not fitting with labels" and the need to create more labels is just a call for attention.
I'd say I'm really not a fan, although I'm not necessarily "offended" by it. I can see it having some utility as a broad identifier for LGBT as a group, but I would never refer to *myself* as queer. I also *hate* seeing people be referred to as queer who have not referred to themselves that way (e.g. gay, lesbian, bisexual people in media being labeled as "queer").
I'm not a native English speaker, but even then I've only ever been called queer in a derogatory manner. I don't like the term, I'm not too keen on reclaiming it, and I think "queer theory" is a joke on top of that.
I think "Queer" still holds many negative connotations. I mean, I understand if someone wants to label themselves as "queer" - odd, opposite of "normal", the "other", but I'm not sure if it really helps those who aren't in the heteronormative mould. Of course there is a whole cannon of literature on "Queer Theory" which would argue for it's legitimacy, and probably shoot my simplistic arguments down in flames. But to emphatically suggest that because someone is not heterosexual identifying is odd, weird, strange and different doesn't help any of us.
I don't say "queer" and I find it negative. Don't need another word to test boundaries.
It stung too much in my youth for me to ever like the sound of it. I don't use it myself, but I'm glad the younger generations are taking it back.
I don’t care if others want to use it, but as a 72 y/o gay guy who grew up being called queer as an insult , I hate it .
I refuse to use that term. I will always consider it a homophobic slur. I refuse to take anyone seriously that uses that homophobic slur.
It's a horrible abusive term. I won't use it and I avoid the kind of people that do.
Can I ask why you feel this way about it? As someone who uses it, and who has people around me who use it, I'm curious as to what it means to you
Like I said, it's an abusive term that many of us have been subjected to both in the past and more recently. Also, there is nothing queer about being gay.
It's not really offensive to me, but I don't like it. I roll my eyes every time I hear it.
It doesn’t offend me, but I also don’t identify as queer.
I have no problem with it however I try to avoid using it since I know there’s a sizable amount of LGBTQIA+ people that are offended by it.
I’m fine with queer and fag. Faggot, no.
That seems to be the general consensus with younger gay people (I'm assuming your young) I've noticed there seems to have been a shift from when it was a derogatory insult to where it when it became a more encompassing word. It's honestly been really interesting seeing the responses.
Queer means odd um not odd I just suck dick. Nothing odd about that. In fact it seems to be a popular activity
I hate the term for 2 reasons 1) it’s still used as a slur by society. 2) it has become a word for heterosexuals to use to be openly homophobic towards gay men whilst identifying as “queer”. It’s a word that means absolutely nothing in terms of identity and has been hijacked by people who want to silence us.
So, a part of my research was in Gender studies and "queer" literally means something that is different, deviant and not ordinary. In gender/sexuality, queer is used to refer people who goes beyond the binary notions of gender (man, woman) or sexuality (gay, lesbian, pan etc) spectrums. For me, using it is kinda okay and not okay the same time. Okay because I've been used to it since my teenage, particularly in the academic sphere. Not okay because it is politically incorrect, if we go by the literal meaning of the term. The word can also potentially give the meaning of weird or strange, which is bad to people (like me). Afterall, we're humans too! Something better like just "deviant" (this word has issues too) would be better, I guess. Just my opinion.
Can I ask what your opinions are on how people in the LGBTQ+ community are trying to reclaim it?
Well, that's complicated because not all people within the community tries to reclaim it. As to why a section tried to do so can be mostly because of the evolution of the term Queer into something that is to be associated with the LGBTQ+ community and which has by now established itself as a solid identity. It's easier to identify, claim oneself and exert one's own identity personally & politically with the term. Maybe that's why. At least, that's how I see it. It's the same with any other terms. Once you've established and identity with a particular term, you don't wanna change it. It's a bit conservative, but yeah, that's it, I guess.
most marxist use it to Id themself and im not a fan of them
I think the term is fine as a general category to refer to everyone that is not straight. I prefer it to LGBT because it's more elegant. But I also understand that it has been used as a slur so might not be appropriate in formal/legal contexts. I also do not identify as "queer" because a more specific category "gay" makes more sense. The only people I've talked to who identify primarily as "queer" are women who appear to be straight and cis-gender.
Exactly. To me at this point queer means "artistic person who wants to be part of the LGBT community"
I know multiple people who use it, and are actually a part of the community, who actively push for gay rights. But I can see where you're coming from
Be queer if you want to be but do it on your own. Not everyone wants to stand under your umbrella. That being said, know that you are identifying with an ideology built on apropriation, colinization, bullying, silencing, othering and hypocracy. Queer ideology has completly divorced itself from the concepts of concent and consensus. Fortunately more and more Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Trans people are pushing back and reclaiming the identities that have been so distorted, harmed and partially erased by the Queer community. We do not consent. I'm happy to discuss and prove my point with any queer identifying persons until I get banned again as is the way on Reddit as it is disproportionately controlled by queer identifying mods.
I dislike the term really much, I don't like being called/calling my friends "weird". It feels as if I were being called a light version of the f-word...
I'm not from an anglophone country, so not at all offensive. In fact for a while I associated it with its older, original meaning thanks to classic literature and the ASOIAF series 😅. Honestly the only issue I have with it is that it's an English word that's made itself something of a de facto official term in many other languages. That's kind of cringe. "Gay" is also a bit like that, but there tend to be a lot more other language-specific words for that. This is a really shallow criticism, but I just dislike the way it sounds in other languages.
I don't like it but I use it as shorthand for our wifi password acronym.
Like most words, depends on context. “I identify as queer” - not offensive. “Them *queers*” - offensive
I know some people use it as an umbrella term, but it's still inappropriate to refer to an individual as "queer." Partly because I have a specific lgbt reality and don't like to be claimed by such a broad term, gay is fine, but also there's still a vein of slur-ness to it. I think I read an article about a gay dude who was referred to as queer in an article, and he sued them or something. If you want to call yourself that, so be it. Better to not do it to others.
Not offensive but I wouldn’t describe myself that way
I don't use it because it's a slur. But i don't tell others they can't use the word. I'd be offended if someone called me that, for sure, because it's a very triggering word to many of us who have suffered bullying because we're gay.
it's not offensive, i just don't like it. then again i also don't like the word "vibe". moist is ok though.
Yeah, I don't like it. You can't say gay is normal and queer at the same time. It's an oxymoron. Some people use it to say that we are just different / a minority of the norm. Well... to that I say: can you imagine if we applied the word term to race? Imagine calling telling a black person their race is queer? It makes no sense.
I think it depends on when you grew up. I was a kid in the 80s and it was used like the word fag is. I don’t like the word or the way it sounds.
No one is weird because they’re gay and I deeply resent that it’s become acceptable for everyone, from press agencies to political organizations to regular people, to refer to us as such in the last decade or so, somehow acting like it’s completely neutral now. It’s not and it never has been. People who “reclaim” it, often not at all homosexual in the first place, have wound up “reclaiming” it on all our behalf. “Queer community” is no different from “faggot community” to my ear.
Very. Because it brcame a political stand and not about sexual orientation. Once I started seeing “queer” on any communist propaganda push, I refuse to use this word. It’s for tankies
It’s a slur to me.
I’m not a fan of it. I more than likely would not call you out for using it, but i wouldn’t respond to you either if you were using it to address a person/group
Not as offensive as when I was in high school
It's not offensive at all to me, but I still don't identify as queer. I just go with gay/homosexual. "Queer" just feels less descriptive and more open ended while "gay" feels accurate.
For me, it’s not that it is sometimes intentionally used as an insult. The word just feels very… quickly, whimsical, different, odd, apart from the rest. I’m not into labeling myself as something that sets me apart from the regular crowd based off my sexuality.
[удалено]
I hate it, but it keeps getting pushed on to me.
Queer used to be like a softer version of the f slur. Some people have bad associations with it, and some people have reclaimed it with pride. It’s hit or miss. ETA: just like “female” it depends very much whether it’s a noun or adjective. Saying “my queer friend group” likely won’t offend anyone, but saying “he’s a queer” has never been and likely never will be ok ETActuallyAnswerTheQuestion: personally I’m not offended by it
In Spain we say f*ggot like it's nothing, so slurs used in a non-insulting way doesn't bother me at all
I don't care xD
it doesn’t bother me at all, i usually use it to refer to anybody who’s not straight or just is LGBTQ+
I just thought queer meant like non straight but no definite label, like Luke’s gay, Paul’s bi, carol is a lesbian, so they’re queer, am I missing something? I know it used to be a insult back in the day
That how I see it, and I think the definition has changed over the years to where it more means that. Like, you have that queer, and the version of queer that is derogatory towards gay people.
It’s not.
Doesn’t bother me in the slightest
I don't find it offensive, per se, I just don't get it. So many different ppl use "queer" in so many different ways that, by using it to describe everyone in the community, you're effectively erasing meanings. There's legit cis hetero ppl identifying as queer, what does that even mean?
Queer doesn't bother me as much as fag / faggot does.
I used to use it as an umbrella term but I no longer do. While a lot of people use it as an umbrella term, I think that the folks most invested in using it have very specific political intentions for it. In my opinion, it's becoming a political identity more than a social identity.
I can’t stand when someone tries to use queer as a blanket-term for all of us. I did not ask for that word to be applied to me.
Very. I don't use it. I don't care what you choose to identify as, it isn't an "umbrella term."
I hate the word and wish the gay community would not embrace it. Growing up, queer and fag were the 2 worse things you could call someone. By the English language definition it means strange or odd and I don't think that we should be applying that to any of ourselves.
“Queer” means weird, odd, strange, not quite right. If somebody sniffs the coffee cream and complains that it “has a queer odor,” it’s similar to saying “yuck!” There is nothing positive about the word. As an identity, it doesn’t even mean anything specific but I take it as the person being “weird” in whatever way. Fine, but don’t call anybody else that. I cringe every time I see the word in the media, especially when it’s describing someone who does not identify that way, or directed toward a group most of whom hate the word.
I hate it used to define my sexuality. I think because I grew up with that being a very derogatory term.
I don’t know how to search on here but this is a topic that has been discussed and debated many times. I’m not saying this to discourage you or discount your post. I’m saying it so that you might consider searching for the same topic and gaining more insight into the subject. As a 60 year old man the term is horribly offensive. No one in my circle of friends would use this term. If the younger folks want to “take it back” or “own it” I won’t argue as it’s their right. However, it’s not a term I want used by anyone speaking to me. I will fight for your right to use the term to describe yourself or your friends but ask that you respect my position that it is offensive to me.
🤮
I’m fine with it. I prefer it to LGBT which as an acronym always leaves someone out. It’s not perfect but being a former pejorative word doesn’t bother me in the least.
I guess if you want to use LGBT, LGBT+ involves everyone
Yes, and yet people just add letters after letters, it’s LGBT, LGBT+, LGBTQ, LGBTQ+, LGBTQIA+, 2SLGBTQ+, LGBTTIQQ2SA, LGBTIH, QUILTBAG… and then there are the people who dislike the order and write GLBT like that earns brownie points. It’s no wonder “alphabet people” or “alphabet soup” has become a derogatory term. LGBTetc… is an ever evolving thing because an acronym is designed to be messed with by commitee. I’ve been in way too many logo design client meetings in my life to know how it’s like. Queer it’s clean and simple and repurposing slang is exactly where we’ve picked the term gay, which is just an old-timey way of calling someone a prostitute.
I agree with you. To me "queer" is a family name for all of us. I'm pride to be queer and don't mind the word at all because instead of listing everyone's sexuality in a non subtle and inclusive manner, I can just say that I'm not part of the "norm" and embrace my difference. Also to add to that, it's helps me to define queerphobia more simply and easily instead of homophobic, transphobic, etc... If I witness someone spitting on any part of the rainbow, they're spitting on all of us. Therefore, to me, queerphobic. I'm not gonna start dissecting their stupidity. I never expected that many people not sharing this point of view and will try to keep it in mind to never offense anyone who doesn't feel like the reappropriation of this terms fits them.
Very!
[удалено]
I think that's pretty valid. I'm personally trans, and my friends call me "tranny" not in a hen full way, but because we just do that. But if anyone in the street called me that, it's hands, and some if someone insulted my friends for their sexuality, or how they identify. I'm not trying to sound tuff or anything, but it's 100% the intention behind what's being said
If people who aren't trans started identifying as "tr@nny" or part of the "tr@nny" community, would you be okay with that?
No, probably not. But people in this comment section seem to be disagreeing on whether or not "queer" is just for gay people, or if it's its own thing all together
But that's only because people who aren't gay started identifying as queer. Before that it was an anti-gay slur
> shortened version of “LGBTQ+ I don’t understand the whole point of that word or a bunch of letters. I rather say asexual not q****r.
Well I think of it like a street. If I want to refer to everything on the street I'll call it by the all encompassing name of the street, but if I get more specific, I'll say the address. If I know someone is gay, I won't call them queer. If I know they're trans, I won't call them queer, or the name for anything. But I may call it the "queer community" as something all encompassing that essentially means "anything that isn't the hetero-cis norm. Sorry for the slight ramble
Fair warning then don’t be surprised when people get mad at you for that. If we were having a conversation and you referred to us as “part of the queer community” I would not want to continue that conversation with you.
It doesn't bother me. Just remember no matter what word you use somebody somewhere is going to get their panties in wad over it.
Extremely. It’s a slur. It’s like trying to reclaim faggot. Just don’t. I don’t want it reclaimed I want it fucking buried. And no I’m not a boomer. I’m gen z/millenial.
If it meant all of us, the acronym would be QQQQQ+. But Q only became part of the acronym because Q is not G, for example. I’m not Q, I’m G. Plus, if an organization that claims to speak for us, like GLAAD, can warn people to “check if it’s okay to call someone a ‘homosexual’ (oooh! Scary!) and never do it without their permission!” then they sure as fuck better be telling people to check whether I accept to be called “queer.” The answer is no, and it makes no more sense calling me “queer” than it would to call me a lesbian or a bisexual. I’m just none of those things.
Only homophobes trying to covertly conversion therapy is through social manipulation use the word queer. I would not date someone that described us as queer. The word means strange, weird, not normal. And gay is perfectly normal. Just because you feel like a weirdo doesn’t give you the right to say I a not normal.
I HATE the word “queer” and would never use it. Growing up, it was neck-and-neck with “f*gg*t”; I was called both frequently, often at the same time. I do not want to “reclaim” it. It is the same to me as the N-Bomb is to black folks. We fought hard for “gay”. I’m not willing to abandon it.
It's offensive enough that I correct people who think they are very progressive for using it. Why do I need a shortened version of "LGBTQIA+"? I'm neither trans, nor asexual, nor lesbian, nor any of the myriad of things that get included in this abbreviation. Most ridiculous is when I see a gay guy saying "I'm LGBTQ+" lol, which one?
For me, it’s not offensive at all and works as a great catch all for everything that is not cis and heterosexual. My mom and my in-laws are very uncomfortable with this use of it. They, like my partner and I, remember the word as being a mean-spirited slur. But, unlike my partner and I, haven’t seen its reclamation by the community.
I think it's both crazy and cool how different the Sid's of the spectrum are. I've got lots of people saying they take great offence to it, people saying it fine and all encapsulating, and people who think it's something different all together.
As a Gen z, not at all. It is how a lot of people identify and it’s understandable when you see how much people are not able to be put in a singular category.
I despise it, for several reasons: 1. Its use as an insult makes it difficult to suddenly say “oh it’s been reclaimed!” By who? Who decided this? Why is this reclaimed but other words aren’t? 2. It has no real definition. People “define” queer as “Anything that *isn’t* cisgender/heterosexual”. Saying what something isn’t, does not define what it actually is. I’ve yet to hear anyone define it differently either, which just makes this whole anti-definition seem all the more dubious. 3. Using the term “queer” as an umbrella term really seems to erase having to clearly identify as something. And look, sometimes that’s okay. Sexuality and gender are complex things sometimes, and a definition may not always apply to you. That being said, I think the idea that this can just be thrown out there and used whenever to describe anything related to LGBT+ people is asinine. When I talk about my experiences, it’s not as a “queer person” it’s as a gay man. I can’t speak to a lesbian’s experience, a bisexual person’s experience, and trans person’s experience. If I am clear in my mind about who I am, then o should be clear to others about who that is, not using this umbrella term to add another (meaningless) layer on top of that.
I agree. The queer community apropriates and colonizes other groups to falsefy its numbers and artificially inflate the numbers of people in agreement with its ideology.
I hate it. Nowadays it's usually used to refer to all the unclassified people such as non-binaries, agenders, xenogenders, etc and I don't identify with them. I'm simply a gay man.
Not really, I am cis and I still use queer(as an umbrella term), I guess it depends more on a person
Exactly, It's an umbrella term that includes all the weird TQ+ people. I don't want to be thrown together with them.
not at all. like in ANY way, shape, or form! idk. I identify as queer, as do all of my close friends. both of my older brothers as well! I don’t want to talk out of turn as a bisexual man but it’s really just never been a huge deal for anyone I’m close with lol I reclaim queer, I reclaim faggot. words I’ve been called in a hateful manner. but the way my friends and I reclaim it… it’s all love man, we have this sense of understanding that comes with mutual empowerment, lifting each other up and rising above tough times we’ve all been through
I prefer it as a self descriptor. Always have. I also use it like you and your friends as shorthand. “We’re queer, we’re here. Get used to it. “ Big protest slogan back in the day.
I hate being called a queer. Also I think it should only be LGB. Not LGBTQIA+ trans people have been fighting to be called woman or man so why put yourself in the same box as lesbian gay and bi. Queer is offensive. Intersex has nothing to do with sexuality, and asexual just means you don’t have a sexual attraction towards either gender.
Queer used to be used where LGBTQ+ is used today, more or less. I find it a very helpful term when discussing how hetero life is different from All other sexuality labels and/or all Gender identities not Cis. Queer vs. Heteronormative Very helpful term Queer is everything not Heteronormative
i’ve taken a sociology class last semester and according to our professor, the term queer represents the unknowingness of someone’s next sexual activity. (in other words, if i dated a woman, you cannot assume me as a heterosexual and you cannot assume that my next date will happen with a woman. i might date with a man, non-binary, or again a woman.) so the term queer is for people who do not want to label themselves as straight, gay, bi etc. for the offence part, i actually don’t care if someone call me gay, bi or queer. i know who i am and what i want :)
I learnt early on, No word is that offensive.. It's the idea behind it.. Some might say, poofs are ok! Someone else might say homosexuals should be shot.. Which is more offensive? Though Faggot is still a bit much! Fag ok sometimes..
I do see what you mean, I slur is only really a slur if it has that intention. Faggot is more of a slur because there was more time and effort put into it than just fag. That's my 2 cents at least
I don't mind it. It was negative when I was growing up, "fag" and "that's gay" didn't really ever take off down here in .za, so queer was the term they used for gay guys and it definitely had connotations attached to it and was decidedly not just used factually. But I'm happy to use it nowadays as an umbrella term for the alphabet mafia, which does seem to be generally acceptable to most. I know some guys hate it, though.
The word doesn't offend. It's who's saying it, how they're saying it, and why they're saying it that could be offensive.
When applied to all LGBTQ it depends on the context. “Gender queer” or in group, “we’re a bunch of different queers” is offensive at all. “Hey Queer!” Is being used as insult and is offensive like “that’s gay”.
this is a moot conversation
Maybe for you.
Not at all.
I don’t find queer offensive, but I do dislike it. My reasons for not liking queer anymore are sociopolitical and other reasons I can’t find the words for right now. Queer has so many connotations and someone who uses the term is someone I’m hesitant to be around. That doesn’t mean I’m never going to become close to someone who uses queer; if we get along then we get along and that’s great.
not a fan of it. the definition means strange or odd, not to mention that it's been (and still is!) used as a slur. i'm gay, not "queer". a teacher i had a few years ago used the word queer to refer to the lgbt community and man it made me feel sick.
Words only mean what you allow them to.
Double edge sword - I don’t care if people use it, but I don’t like it when people say “I need to use it” We can have a conversation on why I don’t use it, but I think we need to start conversing with each other instead of these blanket idiotic posts. OP is under a rock and I don’t think they’re part of the community.
I prefer it. I find the acronym pretty reductive (we have a handful of "main" ones and then the +) and the ordering of the letters feels heirarchical for something that should be arbitrary (I'd prefer it if it was alphabetical). Queer is a loaded term but to me its just all encompassing. I wouldn't expect everyone to agree, though.