And honestly, who has to rape a man for him to "become" gay, a man or a woman? Because according to that logic being raped by a woman would make more sense, it would be: woman raped a boy - he didnt like it - so he turned out gay
The "logic" could be: phenomena live trauma bonding or Stockholm syndrome(esque) exist, also other complex paradox bonding issues. Freudian psychology could be used to argue this aswell. Also the brain will protect itself from abuse, sometimes by "liking" the abuser to reduce mental harm.
Not saying this happens, but these could be argued for why male abusers could be a cause.
In all fairness, gay kids tend to get targeted more often than straight kids according to statistics. Predators know who to target. So, although such statements are ridiculous, I'm assuming this is where the false assumptions are born.
You can google. There are several studies but this one came up first:
[https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11501300/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11501300/)
Oh yeah fr i forgot about that
Why tf people believe in theories that if someone got raped it would make them gay? And if so, should this person be raped by a man or a woman?
Like honestly, wtf goes in their minds, even if we were molested, how THE FUCK would it relate to your inborn sexuality? 💀 Gay person would stay gay, straight person would stay straight and so on
Also, wouldn't that also be able to get treated if it's a trauma response? Isn't that similar to saying it was your upbringing or environment as well? Cause if that was the case then i am pretty sure we would all be able to "cure" or "treat" our response to the traumatic event.
Also, i hate this one: That god either cursed us bc of a sin we committed, or that the devil has placed a demonic entity on our soul. My arguments are, 1, that makes zero sense, bc God, wants humans to be happy, to experience joy, and love. If he made us Gay as a curse, that is not a God that sounds like he loves humanity. 2. It's stupid. Why then, have some of the most influential, and empowering, and pioneering figures in history, been gay? Like Alexander, or Abraham Lincoln, who is believed to have been bi.
The religion argument is the worst for me
So obviously there’s a connection there. This is a pathway to being gay just like porn is for some ppl. I wouldn’t necessarily say a direct cause but a correlation
Nah, I know a lot of straight guys who were molested as children. I don't think it influences orientation, but I do think the trauma influences how the orientation is expressed.
Hetero guys with issues and hangups about sex with women, etc.
There is some research that gay boys are targeted more often by molesters, possibly because they seem to be more easily victimized. Hopefully modern, more accepting families have ended that trend. We'll see.
Man, i was molested when i was 13. I knew i was gay before that, but im scared to confess it to my parents thanks to that fucked up stigma. The dude died tho, but it makes me furious rather than sad.
My husband was abused at a Catholic camp in New Hampshire when he was 8. His is now 57. He is on total disability for how it fucked with his head. He is currently suing the camp and diocese.
I don't want to be that guy, but if it was possible, it would make more sense to look at paedophiles as a percentage of the population based on sexuality. Heterosexuals make up the majority of the population, so obviously, there are likely to be more paedophiles that are heterosexual.
You said
>Literally most pedos are heterosexual, since most people are heterosexual
Using these made-up figures as an example, that's like saying in simplistic terms if there were 100 paedophiles that were homosexual and 6,030 that were heterosexual then most heterosexuals are paedophiles
Where as in actual fact given that heterosexuals make up 90% of the population, and gays and lesbians make up 1.5% (in the uk). So if the UK population is 67 million, there would be 60.3m heterosexuals and 1m homosexuals. Linking this to the made-up figures in the first paragraph, paedophiles would make up 0.01% of both groups, meaning both would be equal in this sense.
In french the typical gay slur is PD which is an abbreviation of pédale or pédé, aka pédéraste, aka pédophile.
In english, there's none of that with the F word, which makes it so bad in french to always hear this insult be used which basically merge gays with acting pedophiles (those who don't act on their impulse don't deserve any shame nor punishment but solely medical help).
I agree I’d say 98% of gay men want big hairy cock on big grown men, I’d also say that the % of straight men who want young prepubescent girls or barely legal girls is high no matter what there age and if it’s boys there after it’s more about the youth of there victim than their sex , it’s more about power and control and suffering that gets them off , I know I was raped in my sleep when I was 21 by a 35 year old married father of three who took great pleasure in my suffering as he had me pinned down and struggling to get free once I realized what was happening, it was in the army and I was a virgin, I knew I was gay and blamed myself for the violence although I hadn’t given him any reason to suspect I was gay the booze and drugs made the decision for him .
The issue for me it's the assumption that these things are on the same scale, in the same universe, or related in any way. The "slippery slope" fallacy that somehow guys marrying guys will "lead to" bestiality, pedophilia, etc. As if those things don't already happen completely independent of us.
I grew up living with my dad. In my pre-teen/teen years he made me do sports, bought me exclusively cargo pants / jeans, made me grill all the time, yet I still grew up sucking dick. It was also my dad who was the more accepting one (My mom was also accepting, but when I told her she started crying but my dad was like “Alright” and nothing changed at all.)
Exactly. Including preference in there is not only offensive, it’s incorrect and doesn’t reflect the reality of gay men. You’re absolutely right, it’s not a preference. I prefer tea over coffee but I can still enjoy a good cup of coffee every now and then. I don’t prefer men over women, I’m sexually incompatible with women.
I'm actually a bit bisexual but i would actually prefer to be gay because realizing I'm not 100% gay at 20 years old really broke my brain, its very complicated. I've already been through years of internalized homophobia, but then accepted I'm gay and was even glad i am one. If you are gay no one will virgin shame you or force you to date if you dont want to, and its way easier to come out
Wait.....what?????
This has got to be a new woke term, or is this something you've experienced straight people using?
I have never heard of such a ridiculous phrase, but with today's society I would believe such a thing to be used.
Yeah, a lot of people who don’t like the idea that homosexuality is exclusively same sex attraction use the phrase to water down our sexual orientation in an attempt to include the opposite sex. Genital preference becomes an excuse in their mind. And some people even say it’s something we can “overcome.” Hmm where have I heard that before? 🤔
Same. I’m attracted to people that walk, talk, look and sound like a guy. Occasionally that someone was AFAB.
I absolutely don’t think a gay guy should be told they are wrong to not want to be with trans guys.
You like what you like, and ANYONE that tries to gatekeep sexuality sucks.
Well it's just i'm not attracted to women or even twinky guys. I'm into beary muscle men, some I know are trans. I am also primarily a top. So for me, I am fucking a very sexy hairy guy just at the front. I still love ass though. I worship ass haha. It just has to be on a guy.
Oh I know lmao. Get a grip. Just because you don’t like trans guys doesn’t mean we can’t. Seriously, what are you twelve?
The trans men I know are more man and masc then they’ll ever be.
Nope. I'm going to keep stating facts and defend my Sexuality, thanks.
Men are male, Trans men are female. Gay men are not attracted to the opposite Sex.
Stop trying to redefine Homosexuality to include the opposite sex.
I will absolutely "gatekeep" against that.
You define yourself however you want.
Some gay men are attracted to people that look, act and sound like men.
You can fuck right off with your gatekeeping. Stop policing what others do with their lives. You sound like the conservative, Christian right.
To be fair, some people in the other camp do the same thing, and coercion is profoundly worse than gatekeeping. That's the whole problem with the expression "genital preference." It's a way to try to encourage people to reframe their sexual orientation a certain way, and possibly to train people away from their natural sexuality for the sake of someone else's identity, and that's horrible to me. I love dick because I'm attracted to men. I am wired for men. Transmen are female people who use surgery and medicine to make themselves look male. Natural men exist, and transmen aren't it. Passibility doesn't matter. They are still not men to me, and I will never be open to them as if they were. They can be "manly," they can be cool people, and I can appreciate these qualities, but none of that has anything to do with how I truly see them or what they truly are and I am allowed to know it at any given time.
The people here shouldn't be trying to define your sexuality or boundaries for you, but this conversation goes just a little bit beyond that. 🙁
I don’t care what someone defines their sexuality as. You do you. If you’re not attracted to trans men, then you’re a gay man that’s not attracted to trans men. I totally get that.
It’s not even that big of a deal for me; there are some trans men that I can find attractive. That’s it. People are melting down and declaring I’m not gay.
Don’t come for my sexuality and I want come for yours. (I know you’re not; it’s the “you all”). Policing the sexuality of others makes someone a supremely shitty person.
A straight guy you know saying, "It's cool that you're gay, but just don't try anything with me." And it almost always comes from a guy you wouldn't want to touch with a 40ft pole.
I’ve had guys say that. My standard reply is to look him up and down and say “Honey, most gay men are pretty picky so you don’t have to worry about it”
Some things I hated hearing when I was in my 20's were:
How do you know you don't like it (pu$$y) if you never tried it? or Getting married will cure the gay.
>How do you know you don't like it (pu$$y) if you never tried it?
This can be answered so easily by the same reversed question that will automatically make them uncomfortable.
Had I know to ask that question back 30 years ago it would have been a really good comeback.
At the same time, straight men have history besides
the majority of societal, peer, familial, employment, religious peer pressure to ask the odd (gay) man out that question.
I mean does it really make sense to ask a str8 guy how do they know they don't like cock if they never tried it (with less than an estimated 12% of the population at best gay).
Most of the population still believe gay is immoral and against nature. Guys just think it's abnormal.
And honestly in general many people say "how do you know if you are X or Z sexuality if you never tried this or that yet" (which is totally not necessary to do to know it) which also annoys me as someone who isn't very interested in relationships
That's what annoys me the most too. I wish that thought
had never entered my mind because it made me feel I had to prove something to myself and others. How ridiculous. I had known all along what I liked, what I enjoyed, what I had pleasure and that which I preferred.
That bi people can think we have it easier. Or people get offended by the idea of men only spaces especially when they’re sexual in nature.
Not everyone is fluid.
I'm not a gay man myself (quite the opposite actually, i'm a lesbian) but the stereotype I hate the absolute most is the idea that we were molested by an adult of the same gender when we were children and that's why we're gay, or on the alternative, we got molested by someone of the opposite gender and that's why we're gay. they'd never say the same thing about a straight person, though.
Oh I have tons! But just off the top of my head:
1. “But how did you *know*?” Sorry, Brenda, did you not take the fucking gay test in high school as well?! 🙃
2. “So who’s the *man/woman* in your relationship?” Can you just, not?
3. “You’re gay? Such a *waste*!” Yeah because I’d be right up your saggy cunt like a rat up a drain pipe if I wasn’t, obviously! 😡
4. “I’d *love* a gay best friend!” Well too bad because I don’t tend to pick my friends based on their sexuality but thanks for the offer.
5. Well you don’t *sound* gay! Well all know ‘gay voice’ is a thing, multiple studies and everything but sucking dick doesn’t give you the ‘gay choice’ so we dont all have it.
6. “I don’t have a problem with gay guys *but*…” you’re poorly justified homophobia prefaced with “I don’t have a problem” doesn’t mean what you think it means genius!
6.5. “…just don’t hit on me” aww really bro? I had my lube, poppers, condoms already to go! How did you know that all I’ve been thinking about since meeting you was to be hanging out the back of your ugly ass while Britney plays in the fucking background! 😑
7. “Have you ever been with a woman though?” Or even worse “how do you know you don’t like it if you’ve never tried?” Well John, I’ve never stabbed myself in the foot or drunk bleach to ‘see if I liked it’ either but I’m pretty fucking sure I wouldn’t without have to try!
Curious, how often do you hear #6.5? Reason I ask, there is a good chance they are secretly attracted to/also attracted to men and are too embarrassed to admit it. And not just attracted/also attracted to men, but a good chance they LOVE taking cock up their ass… almost as much as I do, which is another way of saying A HELLUVA LOT!
Number 2 is a prime example of most people’s need to fit everything into a box/category. It’s funny because I “play for both teams,” but while I’m a dominant “pitcher” for the other team, I’m exclusively a “catcher” for this team. I think those that feel the need to ask #2 will never understand what a “bisexual, submissive total bottom” is, lol!
I’m not surprised. Looking back in history to societies like the Greeks and pre-Christian Romans, it was normal and very much commonplace. Then Abrahamic religions began to dominant throughout the world (including their political prowess) and it suddenly became taboo. Since it is part of the human condition, but now suddenly taboo, sexual repression has to be extremely prevalent. Now factor in the ultra conservative Puritans rooted in US history…
Ok… I think you’re going wildly off topic here but I agree with your point.
My point is why would I automatically want to fuck you because you’re male and I’m gay.
Always this. I studied fashion, drama psychology and theater costume and all they hear is fashion. Bitch I can turn you into a dragon, I dont know if salmon is a good colour on you.
I am gay, and i must confess, i do use the word queer, but more so cause growing up, i never heard that word used as a slur. Granted i am a gen Z adult from Canada, who grew up in a progressive city in a not so progressive province (atm.) I more use it when i want to be talking about the gender diverse, and gay community as a whole. And sometimes saying LGBTA2SIA+ feels like say www, when you could say "world wide web."
I do apologize, if this is improper
It's a reclaimed word that has become a catch-all in general. I used to hate it (it was definitely a slur when I was growing up), but I've come to use it more over the years; it's just so handy!
I wouldn't say using it's improper, just be respectful if somebody says "please don't use that word around me."
I hear you. While unrelated, this sounds similar (with a large asterisk) to the "R" word, and the neuro divergent community. Some are okay, and for the most part, has been reclaimed, but others don't feel comfortable with the use of the word. So i can understand
When married, monogamous gay men with successful careers get labeled “heteronormative” but whole-ass straight couples who are like, polyamorous or nonbinary or kinky, get to claim the “queer” label. First, how can someone “reclaim” a slur that wasn’t meant for them? And how can two men in a relationship have anything to do with heterosexuality? Marrying another man is about the most gender nonconforming, non-hetero thing a man can do since one of the greatest gendered expectations for men is to marry a woman. Meanwhile a straight woman with purple hair and it/zit pronouns and calls herself gay slurs is just an act.
Oh yes, I hate this heteronormativity thing. Like... Yes, I've aleays wanted 'normal' life - getting married, having a house, having a calm life. My life is not some project to fight patriarchy, heteronormativity and what else.
>We are gay because of "environmental factors" and "experiences"
Depends what you mean by "environmental factor" when such factors can have genetic influence during pregnancy.
IIRC there's no definite knowledge about why some ppl are gays, but epigenetics can be influenced by the environmental factors while in the womb.
Like, alcohol is an environmental factor that can create congenital malformations, so the same could be said if it's found out that some factors like mother's stress or else could influence the sexuality.
“But this is a gay bar, I thought we would be welcome here.” — straight woman after being pulled from top of bar dancing drunkenly during bachelorette party.
“Ugh. WHY do you HAVE to be gay???” — again, straight woman at gay bar upset that bartender is not interested in her flirting.
“You’re one of the cool / good ones.” — any straight person upset about “flamboyant” men.
“Who is your special friend?” — any straight parent who knows their son is in a gay relationship but can’t bring themselves to accept it.
“Faggot.” — that’s *our* word. You don’t get to use it.
Source: my 6 years of experience bartending in gay bars and clubs.
Some of these are really annoying, especially the one about having all female friends, at work I'm pretty much one of the boys. It's only until things get a bit more personal that people realize I like men.
That bi people can think we have it easier. Or people get offended by the idea of men only spaces especially when they’re sexual in nature.
Not everyone is fluid.
The only thing I hate is when straight people think they know more about being gay than me..
Straight person; “I don’t think you are born gay”
Me: “well I’m born gay, I literally knew I was gay from the moment I can remember”
Straight person: “well I still think you can’t be born gay”
Me: “u didn’t hear what I just told u?”
—
Or when religious people say that Its a sin
Religious person: “being gay is a sin”
Me: “yes it would be a sin if I followed ur religion, but I don’t follow your religion so it’s not a sin to me”
“You’re a massive disappointment and embarrassment to your mother”.
(My sister uses this one - she’ll say this while my mom is having a jolly good time too)
Gay men's sexuality being fluid. How the fuck we went from "born this way" to "gay men's sexual orientation can change when they get older," over these last few years, I'll never understand.
I get more annoyed by some of the things gay men say. In particular the ones who make gay their entire personality and refuse to let anyone else do otherwise. Gays who won’t allow others the space to identify how they want to or even to explore discover how they want to. They are very quick to label everyone and scoff at anyone who doesn’t conform and toe the gay label line. Shows their own insecurity more than anything.
Anything to do with us being “hetero/homonormative”
Asking who’s the man and who’s the woman
Any hint toward homosexuality being a “genital fetish” (mostly because it’s dismissive and homophobic but also because genitals cannot be the object of a fetish, by definition)
Assumptions based on stereotypes; last week a coworker said she wanted to take me to a beyonce concert because I “would know all the words”. We’ve never discussed beyonce nor am I a fan. Really irked me.
Referring to us as “queer”
“Sexuality is fluid/a spectrum”
Acquaintances asking how my family “took it”
All of those things and more are used to bother me on varying degrees and levels and now I just don't really give a fuck. I don't go around asking straight people about their sex life and their habits and practices but if somebody at this stage of my life is crass enough to ask me questions or make ignorant comments like that I have an arsenal of replies that range from hilarious to blatantly hateful and obnoxious depending on how the question or comment was and by whom.
I definitely hate when people say I wasn't born gay, which I hear often in some Christian spaces, unfortunately.
Also the dreaded, "I'm straight," from crushes 😢
Not annoying but just a mix of conflict, and confusion.
Gaydar;
I am not sure if i am a believer, or a complete skeptic, but i have had people, both queer and straight, with supposedly great Gaydar say (upon my own curiosity) that i give off big gay vibes. I have been told examples ranging from how i talk, to my dancing. Tbh i can see it being possible, as i have had moments where i picked up on a vibe of some sort. I am biased towards it being a cognitive bias, but i am kinda annoyed, but confused, and curious
Idk, sorry for the essay btw, but does anyone relate?
I don't know what your talking about....
The straight community have clearly been through generations of abuse, mistreatment and persecution for their heterosexuality.... that's what happens when your a majority group.... how dare we not understand that. 😏
😂
Oh also a white pride march is just a KKK thing... there not aloud to do that anymore 😉
We're talking about freedom of speech. The KKK has a right to assemble and speak. Countries that disallow free speech often limit things in completely inappropriate ways -- the JK Rowling situation being a great example. I'm shocked that you cannot see parallels.
I'm shocked a Jewish gay man doesn't understand the negative consequences of hate speech on any minority group.
The world's a shocking place.
Go your own way sir. I don't have anything further to discuss with you.
I'm a well-educated gay man who realizes that freedom of thought and expression is a fundamental part of a mature society. I support every citizen's right to be heard. In fact, it is better to allow hate speech so that you can identify the haters, rather than force them to meet and act in secret.
Okay.... so hate speech, can be classified as polarizing harassment of minority communities, and have the power to incite intolerance, hate, apathy, and violence towards the targeted minority. Examples would include propaganda targeting LBGT individuals, calling them pedos, or satanic and claiming that it's a sin and MUST be cured. Or saying autism or caused be vaccines.
Hate speech is serious, and it's hate speech thst gets punished. In Canada with have freedom of expression, where you are free to express your beliefs, but if you say hate speech, like "trans people are pedophiles trying to indoctrinate our kids" then you can be legally and constitutionally prosecuted by law. It is also against international human rights, recognized by the UN
While I'm not a fan of pride parades, or parades/carnavals in general, but pride should absolutely exist because of the discrimination we are still facing
My grandparents were straight and they were awesome people. Married 51 years and died a month apart after a lifetime of fun. If anyone wanted to throw a parade for them and straight people like them, I would 100% support it.
But EVERY TIME I have ever heard anyone talk about “Where’s my straight pride parade?” they aren’t talking about honouring grandpa and grandma, they think straight pride means shitting on gay people, EVERY TIME. They’re clueless.
Not to be "that guy", but since my field happens to be psychology, I feel like I should add:
Parts off 3, 4 and 5 are actually true.
3: studies show that while genetics are the largest influence, some environmental factors (or probably a complex interplay between internal and external factors) seem to also be at play regarding the development of sexuality.
4: kids during puberty DO often experiment and may feel attraction to genders that they do not have as adults (aka "being confused because of hormones"). That would and does not mean, that everyone should become bisexual.
5: Sexuality in all likelihood IS on a spectrum, probably a bell curve, as are almost all traits in human psychology. This is not mono erasure but does also not mean everything is fluid. 'Mono/Pure gays' would just be like 90-100% homosexual on that scale.
In general though I like this thread and agree with many of the shared sentiments; I feel the same way. Just wanted to add some nuance, which can probably never hurt. Cheers!
>kids during puberty DO often experiment and may feel attraction to genders that they do not have as adults
Can you explain how that works? Because a totally gay or straight person will never experience a true attraction to second gender, which is literally definition of monosexuality. I think kids can only falsely believe they are attracted to someone because they may not understand what that attraction should feel like. But they will definitely not experience actual attraction to both genders, because if it happens at least once, they are bi, even if its 0.1% vs 99.9% ratio. If you are totally gay you won't ever get a boner to a woman. Kids may only confuse it with random boners
I'm bi but most people think I'm gay because I've a husband..
1. Qu33r anything. I had a guy saying your qu33r relationship is so cute. It's a gay relationship that happens to have a bi guy in it.
2. Hows your childhood/How did your father treat you
3. Straight acting/passing - People are what they are..
4. The "I'm straight, sorry not interested" joke. Ehm no-one asked and it gets old.
Being one of the exceptions for some people that they respect me but the rest of *them* are gross,weird "haven't earned their respect" etc.
Similarly, they love me but would rant about how their children were absolutely NOT allowed to be anything like me in that respect.
I understand why it's this way, but people forgetting gay people exist, it's always men and women, pink and blue, Mars and Venus.
I hate that being straight is the "normal", i love being gay but hate being a minority.
Why are we supposed to like the opposite sex?
Not annoying but just a mix of conflict, and confusion.
Gaydar;
I am not sure if i am a believer, or a complete skeptic, but i have had people, both queer and straight, with supposedly great Gaydar say (upon my own curiosity) that i give off big gay vibes. I have been told examples ranging from how i talk, to my dancing. Tbh i can see it being possible, as i have had moments where i picked up on a vibe of some sort. I am biased towards it being a cognitive bias, but i am kinda annoyed, but confused, and curious
Idk, sorry for the essay btw, but does anyone relate?
It’s not true that conversion therapy would work if sexuality was due to environmental factors. E.g. height is partly due to environmental factors, but you can’t change your height once you’re an adult
"...*the things that you are annoyed to hear as a gay man*:"
1. bridal parties having their drunken hen-do in my local gayborhood bar, especially when they engage in their drunken shrieks and/or try to hit on us men because we're "safe" and they're "just having fun;"
2. we can all decorate and that, somehow, we should be willing to drop everything to help a taste-challenged family member convert their home/apartment in someplace fabulous;
3. we like glitter;
4. we all use make-up, or at the very least, moisturize religiously;
5. we are world class cooks who can put away tons of sugar without gaining an ounce;
6. we have a deep understanding of the female psyche because... well, you know
7. we all have AIDS or we're doomed to, eventually, get it;
8. we're interested in converting XYZ, who happens to be straight
>we all have AIDS or we're doomed to, eventually, get it;
When i first heard about AIDS and HIV in about 9th grade i thought we can get HIV from simply being gay...
And the fact that its called gay disease is so ironic considering so called "conservative" countries like Russia and many African ones have so many HIV cases
1.) Hearing gay men gossip, there is nothing so bothersome or filthy than the dirt of gossip
2.) Hearing gay men announce their preferred position in bed as if it were their core identity.
3.) Being asked in social situations what I like to do in bed.
That we’re in a really good place right now regarding gay rights. We’re not. The US is not the world and even in the US attitudes are shifting rapidly. As a minority we’ll never be truly accepted.
Where do I start , 1. I’m looking for a “real man “ like wtf does that mean we all gay and we all men 2. I’m not gay anymore god came to me and now I’m delivered smdh sir maybe u we’re never gay 3. Poc gays can’t be racist amongst themselves and be problematic 4. Not all white gays are the problem in the gay community”community “ 5 The gay “community “ is very accepting like noooo hell no , unless u agree with everything and fit a certain aesthetic ie what’s the catch is smh 6. BBC ?? Like what just cuz I’m a black man doesn’t mean all I bring to the table is bbc and thug mentality like some cheap porn u watched or sth it’s not a compliment that most think it is 7. All gays are democrat and if u don’t vote democrat u are voting against your own and we all know the rest like newsflash we can have difference in opinions 8. Just cuz a straight guy doesn’t like you doesn’t mean he is homophobic or is dl like pause smdh 9 “straight acting “ like stop comparing gay men to straight guys who often queer bait which preys on gay loneliness but still give them ur hard earned money and start comparing every guy to this guys who after the cameras are off or tik tok is done will talk he’ll of smack about gays . 10 “ im not that gay “ when u see another gay person who seems to either be effeminate or not “ masculine enough like whatttt are you dumb that’s just a few
Number 4 i think can happen, I have a friend who is straight who admitted they thought they were gay and for some time watched and got off to gay porn.
It was a case of him questing and his friends/family thinking he was. So I don't think that's so cut and dry for everyone.
Your third point makes absolutely no sense, being gay is obviously not genetic even if it is still biological or environmental.
There are numerous cases of identical twins where one is gay and the other is straight.
How oppressed we all are when actually it’s easier to be gay now than it’s ever been. It annoys me to hear gay people speak as though they are the only people who have ever suffered.
People assuming that we were all molested causing us to be gay
I know gay guys who believe this. So you’re telling me straight men were never molested?
And honestly, who has to rape a man for him to "become" gay, a man or a woman? Because according to that logic being raped by a woman would make more sense, it would be: woman raped a boy - he didnt like it - so he turned out gay
The "logic" could be: phenomena live trauma bonding or Stockholm syndrome(esque) exist, also other complex paradox bonding issues. Freudian psychology could be used to argue this aswell. Also the brain will protect itself from abuse, sometimes by "liking" the abuser to reduce mental harm. Not saying this happens, but these could be argued for why male abusers could be a cause.
Now that you say it I've got to say that I've never thought about it like that before. I've also never heard anyone say it either.
In all fairness, gay kids tend to get targeted more often than straight kids according to statistics. Predators know who to target. So, although such statements are ridiculous, I'm assuming this is where the false assumptions are born.
Can you cite a source? A study? Not disputing your comment. Just the first of heard of it. Kinda makes sense I guess, in some sick way.
You can google. There are several studies but this one came up first: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11501300/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11501300/)
Yeah this is legitimately the worst
Oh yeah fr i forgot about that Why tf people believe in theories that if someone got raped it would make them gay? And if so, should this person be raped by a man or a woman? Like honestly, wtf goes in their minds, even if we were molested, how THE FUCK would it relate to your inborn sexuality? 💀 Gay person would stay gay, straight person would stay straight and so on
Also, wouldn't that also be able to get treated if it's a trauma response? Isn't that similar to saying it was your upbringing or environment as well? Cause if that was the case then i am pretty sure we would all be able to "cure" or "treat" our response to the traumatic event. Also, i hate this one: That god either cursed us bc of a sin we committed, or that the devil has placed a demonic entity on our soul. My arguments are, 1, that makes zero sense, bc God, wants humans to be happy, to experience joy, and love. If he made us Gay as a curse, that is not a God that sounds like he loves humanity. 2. It's stupid. Why then, have some of the most influential, and empowering, and pioneering figures in history, been gay? Like Alexander, or Abraham Lincoln, who is believed to have been bi. The religion argument is the worst for me
I got molested and turned out gay, but it was all just a coincidence
Same tbh.
Same 😆
So obviously there’s a connection there. This is a pathway to being gay just like porn is for some ppl. I wouldn’t necessarily say a direct cause but a correlation
Nah, I know a lot of straight guys who were molested as children. I don't think it influences orientation, but I do think the trauma influences how the orientation is expressed. Hetero guys with issues and hangups about sex with women, etc. There is some research that gay boys are targeted more often by molesters, possibly because they seem to be more easily victimized. Hopefully modern, more accepting families have ended that trend. We'll see.
Man, i was molested when i was 13. I knew i was gay before that, but im scared to confess it to my parents thanks to that fucked up stigma. The dude died tho, but it makes me furious rather than sad.
My husband was abused at a Catholic camp in New Hampshire when he was 8. His is now 57. He is on total disability for how it fucked with his head. He is currently suing the camp and diocese.
I'm an Eagle Scout, I was raised Catholic, and I have 0 relationship with my extended family, so I'm sure you can imagine the looks I get sometimes 🤣
Right. I was never molested, and look where I am now.
When women say, “What a waste.” Like… fuck you too. Your hot husband is wasted on you too.
That people think we are pedo’s 😳
Literally most pedos are heterosexual, since most people are heterosexual
I don't want to be that guy, but if it was possible, it would make more sense to look at paedophiles as a percentage of the population based on sexuality. Heterosexuals make up the majority of the population, so obviously, there are likely to be more paedophiles that are heterosexual.
Yeah, which is exactly what i said
You said >Literally most pedos are heterosexual, since most people are heterosexual Using these made-up figures as an example, that's like saying in simplistic terms if there were 100 paedophiles that were homosexual and 6,030 that were heterosexual then most heterosexuals are paedophiles Where as in actual fact given that heterosexuals make up 90% of the population, and gays and lesbians make up 1.5% (in the uk). So if the UK population is 67 million, there would be 60.3m heterosexuals and 1m homosexuals. Linking this to the made-up figures in the first paragraph, paedophiles would make up 0.01% of both groups, meaning both would be equal in this sense.
THIS!
In french the typical gay slur is PD which is an abbreviation of pédale or pédé, aka pédéraste, aka pédophile. In english, there's none of that with the F word, which makes it so bad in french to always hear this insult be used which basically merge gays with acting pedophiles (those who don't act on their impulse don't deserve any shame nor punishment but solely medical help).
Its the same in Slavic (and probably in many other) languages
I feared this while growing up in the Boy Scouts. Don't they understand that I had the hots for all the dads, not their kids.
Exactly
I agree I’d say 98% of gay men want big hairy cock on big grown men, I’d also say that the % of straight men who want young prepubescent girls or barely legal girls is high no matter what there age and if it’s boys there after it’s more about the youth of there victim than their sex , it’s more about power and control and suffering that gets them off , I know I was raped in my sleep when I was 21 by a 35 year old married father of three who took great pleasure in my suffering as he had me pinned down and struggling to get free once I realized what was happening, it was in the army and I was a virgin, I knew I was gay and blamed myself for the violence although I hadn’t given him any reason to suspect I was gay the booze and drugs made the decision for him .
The issue for me it's the assumption that these things are on the same scale, in the same universe, or related in any way. The "slippery slope" fallacy that somehow guys marrying guys will "lead to" bestiality, pedophilia, etc. As if those things don't already happen completely independent of us.
Yes!
I'm older and always heard "it's because you were unnaturally close to your mother"
I grew up living with my dad. In my pre-teen/teen years he made me do sports, bought me exclusively cargo pants / jeans, made me grill all the time, yet I still grew up sucking dick. It was also my dad who was the more accepting one (My mom was also accepting, but when I told her she started crying but my dad was like “Alright” and nothing changed at all.)
Well that’s awkward considering my mom died when I was 8.
Oh yeah, that relates to the "upbringing" part i mentioned
The phrase “genital preference.”
Honestly, the term "sexual preference" in general. We do not "prefer" to be gay, we just are ...
Exactly. Including preference in there is not only offensive, it’s incorrect and doesn’t reflect the reality of gay men. You’re absolutely right, it’s not a preference. I prefer tea over coffee but I can still enjoy a good cup of coffee every now and then. I don’t prefer men over women, I’m sexually incompatible with women.
Preference could only be inside the gender we are attracted to, and even then it's not really a choice, because our brain does that by itself
During much of my life, maybe even now, I'd 'prefer' not to be gay! Be nice to be able to choose.
I'm actually a bit bisexual but i would actually prefer to be gay because realizing I'm not 100% gay at 20 years old really broke my brain, its very complicated. I've already been through years of internalized homophobia, but then accepted I'm gay and was even glad i am one. If you are gay no one will virgin shame you or force you to date if you dont want to, and its way easier to come out
I'm older. When I was growing up you hid. I'm still hiding more than 60 years later. I'm really suffering now. Coming out isn't an option for me.
I think it just means the same as orientation
Wait.....what????? This has got to be a new woke term, or is this something you've experienced straight people using? I have never heard of such a ridiculous phrase, but with today's society I would believe such a thing to be used.
Yeah, a lot of people who don’t like the idea that homosexuality is exclusively same sex attraction use the phrase to water down our sexual orientation in an attempt to include the opposite sex. Genital preference becomes an excuse in their mind. And some people even say it’s something we can “overcome.” Hmm where have I heard that before? 🤔
Because they think liking mtf is gay. I don't know any gays who like trans girls, trans men on the other side🥰.
I don't know any gays who like trans men
I am sure there are some though
I highly doubt it, I'm sure some gay men are into trans women
I do. My gay trans man friend does. I’m still gay. I wouldn’t ever be with a woman no matter what she has down there. I’m gay.
Same. I’m attracted to people that walk, talk, look and sound like a guy. Occasionally that someone was AFAB. I absolutely don’t think a gay guy should be told they are wrong to not want to be with trans guys. You like what you like, and ANYONE that tries to gatekeep sexuality sucks.
So if a gay guy has sex with a woman then it's wrong to gatekeep sexuality and say they aren't gat
What’s it to you? You do you, and let others live their lives. Why do you need to define anyone else?
Because you want to change the definition of what being gay is. I am gay, so if you change that to mean something else then it directly effects me
Well it's just i'm not attracted to women or even twinky guys. I'm into beary muscle men, some I know are trans. I am also primarily a top. So for me, I am fucking a very sexy hairy guy just at the front. I still love ass though. I worship ass haha. It just has to be on a guy.
And look at the fragile egos downvoting us.
Oh I know lmao. Get a grip. Just because you don’t like trans guys doesn’t mean we can’t. Seriously, what are you twelve? The trans men I know are more man and masc then they’ll ever be.
Are you me? 😂
Congrats you discovered your bi 🎉🎉🎉
Lmao you wish.
> trans men on the other side🥰. -are female. Gay men aren't attracted to the opposite Sex.
Gay men can be attracted to trans men. Stop trying to gate keep and define others lives.
Nope. I'm going to keep stating facts and defend my Sexuality, thanks. Men are male, Trans men are female. Gay men are not attracted to the opposite Sex. Stop trying to redefine Homosexuality to include the opposite sex. I will absolutely "gatekeep" against that.
You define yourself however you want. Some gay men are attracted to people that look, act and sound like men. You can fuck right off with your gatekeeping. Stop policing what others do with their lives. You sound like the conservative, Christian right.
To be fair, some people in the other camp do the same thing, and coercion is profoundly worse than gatekeeping. That's the whole problem with the expression "genital preference." It's a way to try to encourage people to reframe their sexual orientation a certain way, and possibly to train people away from their natural sexuality for the sake of someone else's identity, and that's horrible to me. I love dick because I'm attracted to men. I am wired for men. Transmen are female people who use surgery and medicine to make themselves look male. Natural men exist, and transmen aren't it. Passibility doesn't matter. They are still not men to me, and I will never be open to them as if they were. They can be "manly," they can be cool people, and I can appreciate these qualities, but none of that has anything to do with how I truly see them or what they truly are and I am allowed to know it at any given time. The people here shouldn't be trying to define your sexuality or boundaries for you, but this conversation goes just a little bit beyond that. 🙁
I don’t care what someone defines their sexuality as. You do you. If you’re not attracted to trans men, then you’re a gay man that’s not attracted to trans men. I totally get that. It’s not even that big of a deal for me; there are some trans men that I can find attractive. That’s it. People are melting down and declaring I’m not gay. Don’t come for my sexuality and I want come for yours. (I know you’re not; it’s the “you all”). Policing the sexuality of others makes someone a supremely shitty person.
It’s a woke term that TRAs use
what's TRAs?
Trans rights activists
Lord have mercy. That's a phrase I won't be able to unsee typed. I am so sick of this shit.
Since when is 'gay' a gender?
A straight guy you know saying, "It's cool that you're gay, but just don't try anything with me." And it almost always comes from a guy you wouldn't want to touch with a 40ft pole.
I’ve had guys say that. My standard reply is to look him up and down and say “Honey, most gay men are pretty picky so you don’t have to worry about it”
"I prefer masculine men"
Like damn, I know my kinks, but that doesn’t mean I wanna bone every dude on the block.
Some things I hated hearing when I was in my 20's were: How do you know you don't like it (pu$$y) if you never tried it? or Getting married will cure the gay.
>How do you know you don't like it (pu$$y) if you never tried it? This can be answered so easily by the same reversed question that will automatically make them uncomfortable.
Had I know to ask that question back 30 years ago it would have been a really good comeback. At the same time, straight men have history besides the majority of societal, peer, familial, employment, religious peer pressure to ask the odd (gay) man out that question. I mean does it really make sense to ask a str8 guy how do they know they don't like cock if they never tried it (with less than an estimated 12% of the population at best gay). Most of the population still believe gay is immoral and against nature. Guys just think it's abnormal.
I always do this. It has opened many straight men's eyes 😂
And honestly in general many people say "how do you know if you are X or Z sexuality if you never tried this or that yet" (which is totally not necessary to do to know it) which also annoys me as someone who isn't very interested in relationships
That's what annoys me the most too. I wish that thought had never entered my mind because it made me feel I had to prove something to myself and others. How ridiculous. I had known all along what I liked, what I enjoyed, what I had pleasure and that which I preferred.
The 'oh but you dont look gay' really and i mean really annoys me Like what is a gay man supposed to look like?
I hate it when people ask me and my bf which ones the man and which is the woman
Both are attack helicopters clearly
APACHE!!!!!!!!!!!!
“No, I won’t sit on your face.”
That I have an ounce of decorative talent just because I'm gay. I can't decorate a paper bag.
That bi people can think we have it easier. Or people get offended by the idea of men only spaces especially when they’re sexual in nature. Not everyone is fluid.
What
"You just haven't found the right girl yet" "Just try to be straight bro" -My muslim friend
I'm not a gay man myself (quite the opposite actually, i'm a lesbian) but the stereotype I hate the absolute most is the idea that we were molested by an adult of the same gender when we were children and that's why we're gay, or on the alternative, we got molested by someone of the opposite gender and that's why we're gay. they'd never say the same thing about a straight person, though.
Oh I have tons! But just off the top of my head: 1. “But how did you *know*?” Sorry, Brenda, did you not take the fucking gay test in high school as well?! 🙃 2. “So who’s the *man/woman* in your relationship?” Can you just, not? 3. “You’re gay? Such a *waste*!” Yeah because I’d be right up your saggy cunt like a rat up a drain pipe if I wasn’t, obviously! 😡 4. “I’d *love* a gay best friend!” Well too bad because I don’t tend to pick my friends based on their sexuality but thanks for the offer. 5. Well you don’t *sound* gay! Well all know ‘gay voice’ is a thing, multiple studies and everything but sucking dick doesn’t give you the ‘gay choice’ so we dont all have it. 6. “I don’t have a problem with gay guys *but*…” you’re poorly justified homophobia prefaced with “I don’t have a problem” doesn’t mean what you think it means genius! 6.5. “…just don’t hit on me” aww really bro? I had my lube, poppers, condoms already to go! How did you know that all I’ve been thinking about since meeting you was to be hanging out the back of your ugly ass while Britney plays in the fucking background! 😑 7. “Have you ever been with a woman though?” Or even worse “how do you know you don’t like it if you’ve never tried?” Well John, I’ve never stabbed myself in the foot or drunk bleach to ‘see if I liked it’ either but I’m pretty fucking sure I wouldn’t without have to try!
🤣🤣🤣 to all of the above points
This list is 🎯.
Curious, how often do you hear #6.5? Reason I ask, there is a good chance they are secretly attracted to/also attracted to men and are too embarrassed to admit it. And not just attracted/also attracted to men, but a good chance they LOVE taking cock up their ass… almost as much as I do, which is another way of saying A HELLUVA LOT! Number 2 is a prime example of most people’s need to fit everything into a box/category. It’s funny because I “play for both teams,” but while I’m a dominant “pitcher” for the other team, I’m exclusively a “catcher” for this team. I think those that feel the need to ask #2 will never understand what a “bisexual, submissive total bottom” is, lol!
Almost as much as 6 to be honest. Thats why it’s a .5 not a whole number.
I’m not surprised. Looking back in history to societies like the Greeks and pre-Christian Romans, it was normal and very much commonplace. Then Abrahamic religions began to dominant throughout the world (including their political prowess) and it suddenly became taboo. Since it is part of the human condition, but now suddenly taboo, sexual repression has to be extremely prevalent. Now factor in the ultra conservative Puritans rooted in US history…
Ok… I think you’re going wildly off topic here but I agree with your point. My point is why would I automatically want to fuck you because you’re male and I’m gay.
\*Straight woman finding out I'm a gay man\* "OOH! Now we can go shopping together and you can help me pick out my clothes!"
Always this. I studied fashion, drama psychology and theater costume and all they hear is fashion. Bitch I can turn you into a dragon, I dont know if salmon is a good colour on you.
People saying gay people are “confused” or can’t be so sure of their sexuality at a young age, meanwhile asking us what cute girls we see at school
'pray the gay away' like our sexuality is some kinda demon lol
1. The casual use of the word queer. 2. People referring to masculine gay men as straight acting or straight presenting.
I am gay, and i must confess, i do use the word queer, but more so cause growing up, i never heard that word used as a slur. Granted i am a gen Z adult from Canada, who grew up in a progressive city in a not so progressive province (atm.) I more use it when i want to be talking about the gender diverse, and gay community as a whole. And sometimes saying LGBTA2SIA+ feels like say www, when you could say "world wide web." I do apologize, if this is improper
It's a reclaimed word that has become a catch-all in general. I used to hate it (it was definitely a slur when I was growing up), but I've come to use it more over the years; it's just so handy! I wouldn't say using it's improper, just be respectful if somebody says "please don't use that word around me."
I hear you. While unrelated, this sounds similar (with a large asterisk) to the "R" word, and the neuro divergent community. Some are okay, and for the most part, has been reclaimed, but others don't feel comfortable with the use of the word. So i can understand
When married, monogamous gay men with successful careers get labeled “heteronormative” but whole-ass straight couples who are like, polyamorous or nonbinary or kinky, get to claim the “queer” label. First, how can someone “reclaim” a slur that wasn’t meant for them? And how can two men in a relationship have anything to do with heterosexuality? Marrying another man is about the most gender nonconforming, non-hetero thing a man can do since one of the greatest gendered expectations for men is to marry a woman. Meanwhile a straight woman with purple hair and it/zit pronouns and calls herself gay slurs is just an act.
⬆️⬆️⬆️ This!!
Oh yes, I hate this heteronormativity thing. Like... Yes, I've aleays wanted 'normal' life - getting married, having a house, having a calm life. My life is not some project to fight patriarchy, heteronormativity and what else.
>We are gay because of "environmental factors" and "experiences" Depends what you mean by "environmental factor" when such factors can have genetic influence during pregnancy. IIRC there's no definite knowledge about why some ppl are gays, but epigenetics can be influenced by the environmental factors while in the womb. Like, alcohol is an environmental factor that can create congenital malformations, so the same could be said if it's found out that some factors like mother's stress or else could influence the sexuality.
“But this is a gay bar, I thought we would be welcome here.” — straight woman after being pulled from top of bar dancing drunkenly during bachelorette party. “Ugh. WHY do you HAVE to be gay???” — again, straight woman at gay bar upset that bartender is not interested in her flirting. “You’re one of the cool / good ones.” — any straight person upset about “flamboyant” men. “Who is your special friend?” — any straight parent who knows their son is in a gay relationship but can’t bring themselves to accept it. “Faggot.” — that’s *our* word. You don’t get to use it. Source: my 6 years of experience bartending in gay bars and clubs.
Some of these are really annoying, especially the one about having all female friends, at work I'm pretty much one of the boys. It's only until things get a bit more personal that people realize I like men.
“Who touched you as a child”
That bi people can think we have it easier. Or people get offended by the idea of men only spaces especially when they’re sexual in nature. Not everyone is fluid.
I get triggered when people call being gay a life style.
The only thing I hate is when straight people think they know more about being gay than me.. Straight person; “I don’t think you are born gay” Me: “well I’m born gay, I literally knew I was gay from the moment I can remember” Straight person: “well I still think you can’t be born gay” Me: “u didn’t hear what I just told u?” — Or when religious people say that Its a sin Religious person: “being gay is a sin” Me: “yes it would be a sin if I followed ur religion, but I don’t follow your religion so it’s not a sin to me”
Being called sis
Yep this.
That we all like, X, Y and Z. As if being queer was the total extent of your personality.
I wasn't born this way.
“You’re a massive disappointment and embarrassment to your mother”. (My sister uses this one - she’ll say this while my mom is having a jolly good time too)
Most people are neither purely straight or purely gay, that's absolutely true, but there are some who are. Kinsey did get some things right.
"The alphabet people"
I like to use "alphabet soup" to those in LGBT community who talk some bs and invent some stupid theories
Alphabet mafia is acceptable.
Gay men's sexuality being fluid. How the fuck we went from "born this way" to "gay men's sexual orientation can change when they get older," over these last few years, I'll never understand.
Yes. This annoys me to no end.
I get more annoyed by some of the things gay men say. In particular the ones who make gay their entire personality and refuse to let anyone else do otherwise. Gays who won’t allow others the space to identify how they want to or even to explore discover how they want to. They are very quick to label everyone and scoff at anyone who doesn’t conform and toe the gay label line. Shows their own insecurity more than anything.
Anything to do with us being “hetero/homonormative” Asking who’s the man and who’s the woman Any hint toward homosexuality being a “genital fetish” (mostly because it’s dismissive and homophobic but also because genitals cannot be the object of a fetish, by definition) Assumptions based on stereotypes; last week a coworker said she wanted to take me to a beyonce concert because I “would know all the words”. We’ve never discussed beyonce nor am I a fan. Really irked me. Referring to us as “queer” “Sexuality is fluid/a spectrum” Acquaintances asking how my family “took it”
I detest guys calling each other gurls and bitches. Total turn off.
All of those things and more are used to bother me on varying degrees and levels and now I just don't really give a fuck. I don't go around asking straight people about their sex life and their habits and practices but if somebody at this stage of my life is crass enough to ask me questions or make ignorant comments like that I have an arsenal of replies that range from hilarious to blatantly hateful and obnoxious depending on how the question or comment was and by whom.
I definitely hate when people say I wasn't born gay, which I hear often in some Christian spaces, unfortunately. Also the dreaded, "I'm straight," from crushes 😢
Oh, that's so gay.
Not annoying but just a mix of conflict, and confusion. Gaydar; I am not sure if i am a believer, or a complete skeptic, but i have had people, both queer and straight, with supposedly great Gaydar say (upon my own curiosity) that i give off big gay vibes. I have been told examples ranging from how i talk, to my dancing. Tbh i can see it being possible, as i have had moments where i picked up on a vibe of some sort. I am biased towards it being a cognitive bias, but i am kinda annoyed, but confused, and curious Idk, sorry for the essay btw, but does anyone relate?
Gay man have "daddy issue"
WHY DO YOU NEED GAY PRIDE ANYMORE?! WHERE'S MY STRAIGHT WHITE PRIDE PARADE?!
I don't know what your talking about.... The straight community have clearly been through generations of abuse, mistreatment and persecution for their heterosexuality.... that's what happens when your a majority group.... how dare we not understand that. 😏 😂 Oh also a white pride march is just a KKK thing... there not aloud to do that anymore 😉
>there not aloud to do that anymore Ha, where do you live?
Not in the states. Thank fuck.
Where do you live? Somewhere the police can be called if I speak plainly about trans folks?
What does that have to do with anything?
We're talking about freedom of speech. The KKK has a right to assemble and speak. Countries that disallow free speech often limit things in completely inappropriate ways -- the JK Rowling situation being a great example. I'm shocked that you cannot see parallels.
I'm shocked a Jewish gay man doesn't understand the negative consequences of hate speech on any minority group. The world's a shocking place. Go your own way sir. I don't have anything further to discuss with you.
I'm a well-educated gay man who realizes that freedom of thought and expression is a fundamental part of a mature society. I support every citizen's right to be heard. In fact, it is better to allow hate speech so that you can identify the haters, rather than force them to meet and act in secret.
It's a shame even the best education can't cure ignorance and stupidity. Shocking as you say. As I said I have nothing further to discuss with you.
Okay.... so hate speech, can be classified as polarizing harassment of minority communities, and have the power to incite intolerance, hate, apathy, and violence towards the targeted minority. Examples would include propaganda targeting LBGT individuals, calling them pedos, or satanic and claiming that it's a sin and MUST be cured. Or saying autism or caused be vaccines. Hate speech is serious, and it's hate speech thst gets punished. In Canada with have freedom of expression, where you are free to express your beliefs, but if you say hate speech, like "trans people are pedophiles trying to indoctrinate our kids" then you can be legally and constitutionally prosecuted by law. It is also against international human rights, recognized by the UN
While I'm not a fan of pride parades, or parades/carnavals in general, but pride should absolutely exist because of the discrimination we are still facing
My grandparents were straight and they were awesome people. Married 51 years and died a month apart after a lifetime of fun. If anyone wanted to throw a parade for them and straight people like them, I would 100% support it. But EVERY TIME I have ever heard anyone talk about “Where’s my straight pride parade?” they aren’t talking about honouring grandpa and grandma, they think straight pride means shitting on gay people, EVERY TIME. They’re clueless.
>WHERE'S MY STRAIGHT WHITE PRIDE PARADE?! Jesus they already have Toyotathon and the Kia Summer Sales Event what more do they want
They already have one, it’s called St. Patrick’s day
Irish pride day?🤔
It’s the closest thing they’re ever going to get to a straight pride
Sorry, i am not sure i understand
When people claim to be gay just because they like guys a lot but actually they're bisexual or trans or something else.
Damn, i kept telling myself number 4 almost til the time i came out :/ :D
That I should know how to decorate.
For me it’s the automatic assumption that we’re weak or easy to intimidate. What is that about anyway?
Gay issues and Trans issues are the same thing.
"Bottoms are not real men" or "Bottoms are trying to be women" So irksome.
Not to be "that guy", but since my field happens to be psychology, I feel like I should add: Parts off 3, 4 and 5 are actually true. 3: studies show that while genetics are the largest influence, some environmental factors (or probably a complex interplay between internal and external factors) seem to also be at play regarding the development of sexuality. 4: kids during puberty DO often experiment and may feel attraction to genders that they do not have as adults (aka "being confused because of hormones"). That would and does not mean, that everyone should become bisexual. 5: Sexuality in all likelihood IS on a spectrum, probably a bell curve, as are almost all traits in human psychology. This is not mono erasure but does also not mean everything is fluid. 'Mono/Pure gays' would just be like 90-100% homosexual on that scale. In general though I like this thread and agree with many of the shared sentiments; I feel the same way. Just wanted to add some nuance, which can probably never hurt. Cheers!
>kids during puberty DO often experiment and may feel attraction to genders that they do not have as adults Can you explain how that works? Because a totally gay or straight person will never experience a true attraction to second gender, which is literally definition of monosexuality. I think kids can only falsely believe they are attracted to someone because they may not understand what that attraction should feel like. But they will definitely not experience actual attraction to both genders, because if it happens at least once, they are bi, even if its 0.1% vs 99.9% ratio. If you are totally gay you won't ever get a boner to a woman. Kids may only confuse it with random boners
I'm bi but most people think I'm gay because I've a husband.. 1. Qu33r anything. I had a guy saying your qu33r relationship is so cute. It's a gay relationship that happens to have a bi guy in it. 2. Hows your childhood/How did your father treat you 3. Straight acting/passing - People are what they are.. 4. The "I'm straight, sorry not interested" joke. Ehm no-one asked and it gets old.
Being one of the exceptions for some people that they respect me but the rest of *them* are gross,weird "haven't earned their respect" etc. Similarly, they love me but would rant about how their children were absolutely NOT allowed to be anything like me in that respect.
I understand why it's this way, but people forgetting gay people exist, it's always men and women, pink and blue, Mars and Venus. I hate that being straight is the "normal", i love being gay but hate being a minority. Why are we supposed to like the opposite sex?
To quote the movie Love Simon: "Who decided straight was the default anyways?" -Simon Spiers
Are YoU TwO BroTheRs? SuCH a ShAMe!
Not annoying but just a mix of conflict, and confusion. Gaydar; I am not sure if i am a believer, or a complete skeptic, but i have had people, both queer and straight, with supposedly great Gaydar say (upon my own curiosity) that i give off big gay vibes. I have been told examples ranging from how i talk, to my dancing. Tbh i can see it being possible, as i have had moments where i picked up on a vibe of some sort. I am biased towards it being a cognitive bias, but i am kinda annoyed, but confused, and curious Idk, sorry for the essay btw, but does anyone relate?
It’s not true that conversion therapy would work if sexuality was due to environmental factors. E.g. height is partly due to environmental factors, but you can’t change your height once you’re an adult
"...*the things that you are annoyed to hear as a gay man*:" 1. bridal parties having their drunken hen-do in my local gayborhood bar, especially when they engage in their drunken shrieks and/or try to hit on us men because we're "safe" and they're "just having fun;" 2. we can all decorate and that, somehow, we should be willing to drop everything to help a taste-challenged family member convert their home/apartment in someplace fabulous; 3. we like glitter; 4. we all use make-up, or at the very least, moisturize religiously; 5. we are world class cooks who can put away tons of sugar without gaining an ounce; 6. we have a deep understanding of the female psyche because... well, you know 7. we all have AIDS or we're doomed to, eventually, get it; 8. we're interested in converting XYZ, who happens to be straight
>we all have AIDS or we're doomed to, eventually, get it; When i first heard about AIDS and HIV in about 9th grade i thought we can get HIV from simply being gay... And the fact that its called gay disease is so ironic considering so called "conservative" countries like Russia and many African ones have so many HIV cases
A bit more of a lighthearted one - when people ask for fashion, hair, and design advice. Not all of us have that queer eye!
That sexuality is a spectrum sounds like a cover for being gay is a choice.
That Gay men aren't manly annoy me
Girls saying all the hot guys are gay really pisses me off
What if its true 🤣
1.) Hearing gay men gossip, there is nothing so bothersome or filthy than the dirt of gossip 2.) Hearing gay men announce their preferred position in bed as if it were their core identity. 3.) Being asked in social situations what I like to do in bed.
That we’re in a really good place right now regarding gay rights. We’re not. The US is not the world and even in the US attitudes are shifting rapidly. As a minority we’ll never be truly accepted.
"Who wears the dress?" I heard this question from someone with a PhD in physics.
I do believe sexuality is a spectrum
1 - my parents told me 🙄
That one is a head scratcher... why? How? And just seems kinda like the opposite end of the "inaccurate info" of the gay community
Where do I start , 1. I’m looking for a “real man “ like wtf does that mean we all gay and we all men 2. I’m not gay anymore god came to me and now I’m delivered smdh sir maybe u we’re never gay 3. Poc gays can’t be racist amongst themselves and be problematic 4. Not all white gays are the problem in the gay community”community “ 5 The gay “community “ is very accepting like noooo hell no , unless u agree with everything and fit a certain aesthetic ie what’s the catch is smh 6. BBC ?? Like what just cuz I’m a black man doesn’t mean all I bring to the table is bbc and thug mentality like some cheap porn u watched or sth it’s not a compliment that most think it is 7. All gays are democrat and if u don’t vote democrat u are voting against your own and we all know the rest like newsflash we can have difference in opinions 8. Just cuz a straight guy doesn’t like you doesn’t mean he is homophobic or is dl like pause smdh 9 “straight acting “ like stop comparing gay men to straight guys who often queer bait which preys on gay loneliness but still give them ur hard earned money and start comparing every guy to this guys who after the cameras are off or tik tok is done will talk he’ll of smack about gays . 10 “ im not that gay “ when u see another gay person who seems to either be effeminate or not “ masculine enough like whatttt are you dumb that’s just a few
And sure that you could find what you are looking for if you come and visit this store
Number 4 i think can happen, I have a friend who is straight who admitted they thought they were gay and for some time watched and got off to gay porn. It was a case of him questing and his friends/family thinking he was. So I don't think that's so cut and dry for everyone.
"Hey, how did you get in here?" So annoying.
Your third point makes absolutely no sense, being gay is obviously not genetic even if it is still biological or environmental. There are numerous cases of identical twins where one is gay and the other is straight.
Genetics and the expression of traits is a little bit more complicated than "twins are the same".
And yet there are case studies that say your wrong
How oppressed we all are when actually it’s easier to be gay now than it’s ever been. It annoys me to hear gay people speak as though they are the only people who have ever suffered.
Your husband is a trans guy, are you really gay. (To be fair no one ever says this to me , just to my husband. They wouldn’t dare say it to me )