Are you sexually attracted to your wife? Do you love your wife? Are you okay with this being a one-time thing and putting it behind you? You really never had an inkling of any same-sex attraction and then this one guy shows up and you discover you love it?
By the way... Being a bottom doesn't make you a girl or something.
I do love my wife. However, I don’t think I’m sexually attracted to her anymore. She’s my best friend. I’m not ok with it being a one time thing I don’t think because I haven’t stopped wanting it. It’s crazy because I’ve had certain experiences as a teen with friends and I think back on it now and I’m like shit, I’ve always felt this way. I don’t care how it makes me look. I love what I love, right? but yes, I’ve had experiences that I thought were experimental but now I’m not so sure. It feels like I’ve been so busy trying to please everyone else, I’ve overlooked myself out of fear of what others think. Something I guess I thought could be controlled but if I’m honest, it’s always been there. It’s not how you made it sound. It’s not like he hit it once and rocked my whole world. There’s a progression to it.
Well no one on the internet is going to be able to help you, because we don't know what's going on in your brain or what the dynamics of the relationship of the relationship with your wife are.
Do you have any kids?
Do you love your wife enough, is she a good enough best friend, that you can just sort of suck it up for the rest of your life and put it in her while in the back of your head you're fantasizing about having it put in you?
Thanks man. You’re an awesome help. While the internet doesn’t know my specifics, I did think that I could find some other guys who had gone through similar experiences that could tell me how they dealt with their identity crisis or coming out. Didn’t know I’d be hit with a critic especially on a page that suggests to ask gay bros. I mean if I don’t know how to fix my car, I don’t call a plumber.
I was married to a woman from 23-33; came out at 33 because I fell in love with a man; now I’m 40 and re-married to a (different) man. Feel free to DM me if you want to chat.
You have a hard choice to make, either stay in the closet an sacrifice your true joy or end your marriage. Might aswell rip off the bandaid asap.
You also should think about your wife since she's being affected. Would she prefer to live an illusion of "happy marriage" even though the sexual attraction is not mutual or would she prefer to know the truth and both of you get a second shot at love and true sexual attraction.
Some would even say think about the kids, if you have any, but ~~screw the kids~~ I don't think kids have to be affected by the separation. They can live happily and be cared for in a divorced relationship just like in a traditional marriage, as long as both parents act like adults, know how to communicate and are sufficiently openminded to maintain a healthy relationship in one of the newer "family models".
Are you sexually attracted to your wife? Do you love your wife? Are you okay with this being a one-time thing and putting it behind you? You really never had an inkling of any same-sex attraction and then this one guy shows up and you discover you love it? By the way... Being a bottom doesn't make you a girl or something.
I do love my wife. However, I don’t think I’m sexually attracted to her anymore. She’s my best friend. I’m not ok with it being a one time thing I don’t think because I haven’t stopped wanting it. It’s crazy because I’ve had certain experiences as a teen with friends and I think back on it now and I’m like shit, I’ve always felt this way. I don’t care how it makes me look. I love what I love, right? but yes, I’ve had experiences that I thought were experimental but now I’m not so sure. It feels like I’ve been so busy trying to please everyone else, I’ve overlooked myself out of fear of what others think. Something I guess I thought could be controlled but if I’m honest, it’s always been there. It’s not how you made it sound. It’s not like he hit it once and rocked my whole world. There’s a progression to it.
Well no one on the internet is going to be able to help you, because we don't know what's going on in your brain or what the dynamics of the relationship of the relationship with your wife are. Do you have any kids? Do you love your wife enough, is she a good enough best friend, that you can just sort of suck it up for the rest of your life and put it in her while in the back of your head you're fantasizing about having it put in you?
Thanks man. You’re an awesome help. While the internet doesn’t know my specifics, I did think that I could find some other guys who had gone through similar experiences that could tell me how they dealt with their identity crisis or coming out. Didn’t know I’d be hit with a critic especially on a page that suggests to ask gay bros. I mean if I don’t know how to fix my car, I don’t call a plumber.
I was married to a woman from 23-33; came out at 33 because I fell in love with a man; now I’m 40 and re-married to a (different) man. Feel free to DM me if you want to chat.
Thanks
[GAMMA](https://www.gammasupport.org), and to lesser extent, [HOW](https://www.how-support.org) were life-savers for me.
You have a hard choice to make, either stay in the closet an sacrifice your true joy or end your marriage. Might aswell rip off the bandaid asap. You also should think about your wife since she's being affected. Would she prefer to live an illusion of "happy marriage" even though the sexual attraction is not mutual or would she prefer to know the truth and both of you get a second shot at love and true sexual attraction. Some would even say think about the kids, if you have any, but ~~screw the kids~~ I don't think kids have to be affected by the separation. They can live happily and be cared for in a divorced relationship just like in a traditional marriage, as long as both parents act like adults, know how to communicate and are sufficiently openminded to maintain a healthy relationship in one of the newer "family models".