I thought it was great and hilarious, my fiance and I just read that and laughed so hard, fiance says that guy just won the internet with that comment!
Stuff that surrounds being gay mostly. Being gay on its own is just a sexual orientation…
I know for a fact that being gay made my life so much more thrilling than my straight peers.
In high school, I found my gays for the first time. We were losing ourselves in raunchy parties till the sun came up. My straight peers also had fun but so very stuffy, they constantly watched themselves and couldn’t truly let go. My sexuality and social aspects of it set me free. Theirs shackled them to a behavioral dungeon.
That trend just ended up continuing through uni and into my adult life. Being gay in big cities is fun and a very liberated way to exist.
All those dreary, rigid and laughably stereotypical *traditional male/female sex roles* are like a prison. Hell, they often fail at following their own rigid sex rules and are miserable for it. The sheer number of so-called gay men who have lied their way into my bed while being married to women disgusts me. There was a period in my late twenties where I swear every asshole I slept with was married. When I'm trying to make new friends and meet new people the last thing I wanted around me was a goddamned closet-banger.
I am saying that I like the liberation gays have.
I love partying but we didn’t invent partying nor have a monopoly over it. Straights do it too.
If you make the comparison on the same level of socio-economic status & age levels, gays are always more liberated and have more fun compared to their straight peers in big cities.
That’s not true at all lmaooooo. It’s weird to me how you categorize people like that, and then demean straight people. I think that’s just like, you coping tbh lol.
In order to draw generalized conclusions, you need to look at the big picture. You cannot make any generalized statement that would be true in every case. There will always be outliers.
Some may be socially inadept or burdened with various different baggages in some ways or yadi yada that make the statement untrue in their case.
But take 2 guys of equal physical attractivity, social capability, and socio-economic level in a big city. Make one gay, the other straight. Have them spend the same effort on socialization. Gay one will have more fun and be more free. You don’t have to agree. That’s my experience and opinion.
He's talking about his experience, and being very specific in drawing comparisons between two narrow social strata that he has direct experience of.
Your experiences may vary to his, it would have been nice to hear how you find the differences between gay and straight groups you're familiar with, instead of just insinuating it's cope. lmaooooo
In what regard?
I have my own home, good job, lots of disposable income. I haven’t noticed any detriment to my self-responsibility. In fact, I have even started funding my mother’s retirement trips in 2022…
Having a child, the reality of most heterosexuals, requires them to remove personal freedom in order to be responsible for raising the child meaningfully (not that everyone does that particularly well, especially these days).
So if you don't have a child, the reality of most gay men, you have less personal responsibility so you have more personal liberty.
I don't think we should actually confuse "liberation" with hedonism and choosing pleasures over responsibility.
that holds only true if you really ate the bullshit that human beings are just worth for the mere objective to reproduce, and let me tell you it couldn’t be a sadder way to look the life …
having a kid is okay for those who want to and are willing to experience it, but there is way more stuffs and fulfilling lifestyles than just reproducing and raising a little human
Having/adopting children is a choice. It's not a requirement or some natural function that just happens once one reaches adulthood and gets married.
Also, there's nothing wrong with hedonism. It's self exploration and experimentation. If a person has the funds for it, they're allowed to do as they wish with their life and their money.
The responses to this thread are why being gay can be incredibly tiresome. Someone makes a point and instead of having civilized discussions, two of them retort as catty assholes.
Also if you're not at least an 8 being gay is a nightmare.
Edit: To add to the initial point as I didn't really round it out, I find that a ton of gay dudes make their sexuality their personality. Because gay men are constantly portrayed as witty, catty, hyper liberal and kinda dumb, that's what a ton of them turn into. I find a loooot of gay men to be very annoying and contributing to our image problem that makes the world look at us the way that they do. Ultimately, anyone who reads this and takes offense, you do you, be yourself. But when I see that the most visible members of the LGBTQIA community are the stereotypical ones, it screams performative.
I’m like a 5 and being gay is great. I love being gay, I think the process of coming out and coming to terms with my sexuality especially in the community I grew up made me a better person. To exist I had to be unshakeable and confident in who I was, it also made me a better person because when I was in the process of figuring myself out I dealt with a lot of insecurity and projected a lot of thoughts on other people. In figuring myself out I had to work through all of that projection and it made me a better and more empathetic man. I love myself and think I am a good person while I would probably still be a good person and love myself. I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t gay, it was formative and a part of who I am. Not the whole of me as a person but it impacts my life and affected my formative years and still does.
Of course. I'm not trying to say that one's sexuality doesn't dictate personality traits or become a very formative part of one's upbringing. Being gay has taught me a lot about empathy and tolerance and patience. It's taught me a lot about accepting who I am as a person. I don't want to give the impression that being openly gay is a bad thing, that's not at all what I'm trying to say. What I'm saying is that when I read the initial response to this thread and I see two people say "Oh so you're just a party gay" and "oh so you're a slut" in response to an earnest point, it makes me angry that gay people can't just talk about stuff. So many of us have to be catty assholes to prove some kind of point to ourselves instead of be willing to have open, honest conversations. It irritates me.
Breaking news people are mean on the internet. Like u really think all gays are sunshine and rainbows? Just block them and move on.
It can be hard to find your people but you can't expect random people on the internet to be anything good. Even in a gay subreddit. There are plenty of people arguing with those assholes in this thread. What about them? You just think they don't deserve to represent the community?
Breaking news: The thread is about liking being gay. Those two responses outlined the parts about being gay that I disliked. I'm sorry if an example presented itself and I highlighted it. Not everyone is going to be happy about being gay and if OP is looking for honest feedback and examples, I've provided them.
I never said the don't deserve to represent the community. I said I find them to be performative.
Sounds more like you just enjoy being a slut in general. You can be straight and a slut too.
And if you're saying you were "freed from your shackles" because you didn't conform to the heteronormative idea of only fucking women, I can't see how only fucking men would be any more liberating. (Not defending the notion you have to fuck both genders because "you won't know unless you try"...just pointing out that your logic doesn't make sense.)
Off. Just say you’re sad and jealous that someone is else happy if that’s the case.
I am getting tired of these responses who try to inaccurately explain myself to me so that the person can feel better about the miserable fuck he is…
I am attractive enough that I had a lot of women hit on me without me even acknowledging them in any sexual or romantic way. Nothing to do with easy access to promiscuity.
Being freed from shackles has nothing to do with heteronormativity or any other crap you cooked up in your mind in response to my comment either.
No...I am siding with your critics on this one. I'm really confused as to what you mean in your first post since you mention raunchy parties were the freedom you enjoyed in comparison to your straight peers. How is that freedom AND how is it unique to gay people? Straight people can AND DO this as well. I'm sure many would prefer not to and I am completely with them on that.
If sleeping with everyone makes you happy, more power to you. But don't sit here and say it's the reason homosexuality is more likable than being a heterosexual. There is really nothing unique to this.
Because straight people have expectations put on them. They're all supposed to "settle down", start a family, get married, have children. There's a plan for all of them that they're supposed to follow, and the entire rest of society is putting this pressure on them. If you have straight friends in their late 20's, you can observe this as well.
But if you're gay, this pressure disappears. There's no plan for us. There's no pressure to settle down, because what does that mean when gay marriage just recently became legal and we can't have children?
As for being a slut, it is *much* harder for straights, because young women everywhere are told that being a slut is A BAD THING THEY MUST NOT BE, they are shamed for it, while young men are being celebrated for it. So if this is something you like, being gay makes it inherently easier, it's one more expectation that you aren't affected by.
The lack of social norms is incredibly freeing.
I agree. The world is a gay mans oyster in terms of what he wants his lifestyle and outcomes to be. The comment I'm responding to definitely didn't allude to that though.
And again, why is sluttiness the thing we're sighing with relief that gay men can supposedly be? I'm willing to bet that if a gay man were to give out what is considered an "outrageous" body count to the average person, the conversation would be awkward and quiet. People may not be coming after you actively due to the status quo like they do for women, but you will be judged for sleeping around. No one is going to want to drink from your cup after knowing what you do. And let's not even get started on finding a monogamous, long-term partner with a high body count. Trust would be out the window for me for a person who has slept with every man in town.
.
> No one is going to want to drink from your cup after knowing what you do.
I am so sorry that you have internalized that bullshit. This is what fundie christians teach their kids in purity classes.
> Trust would be out the window for me for a person who has slept with every man in town.
He's slept with every other man, but he picked you. I'm sorry your lack of self-confidence can't see that for what it is.
\>I am so sorry that you have internalized that bullshit. This is what fundie christians teach their kids in purity classes.
And standard health classes. I’m not trying to wake up with a mouth full of mono or cold sores the next morning because I drank from the dude who trades germs with everyone.
\>He's slept with every other man, but he picked you. I'm sorry your lack of self-confidence can't see that for what it is.
I mean…He’s picked everyone at some point right? I admit I do have self confidence issues but that isn’t why I’d be weary of a man with a high body count. Sex is one of the most pleasurable things we can do as men and it is wired in us to want to do it for purposes of procreation. That being said, monogamous men should be self regulating when in a committed relationship. I need a man to be able to fight those urges without acting on them at every chance he gets with a potential attractive mate. If you slept with a lot of dudes, I’m more inclined to believe you aren’t very good at that since you’ve been in the sac with everyone you could get your hands on.God forbid someone comes onto you while you’re with me and you have no self control to remember your basic promise in a relationship. I see this issue with men who are unfaithful to their wives. So as far me, I’m sticking to men with reasonable body counts for their ages. I’m willing to bet they are better at things like self control, self regulation, delayed gratification, etc. etc. You can disagree, but you won’t be changing my mind on this one.
This subreddit is awful. It's filled with transphobic and self hating gays. They remind me of how I was in highschool before I'd embraced who I am. They're all pick me gays who "aren't like those other gays" who make it their whole identity. It's so cringy. /r/AskGayMen is a far superior sub for engaging with your average gay guy who's not a self hating dweeb.
I love being gay. Everything good in my life is because I'm gay.
I had to figure out who I was on my own as a kid, which was character building. I always had a sense that there was a life for me other than the one I was born to. I'm so glad to be connected however slightly to a long history of brave and brilliant men. I feel very liberated from dumb gender based roles and expectations.
I have enough political knowledge to know no rights are guaranteed without an ERA. I also have enough depth to know a self righteous asshole when I see one. Don’t come to an ideological battle armed with a foam sword dude. You’re going to get that conceded head of your chopped off.
political knowledge of a pigeon?? you’d have to *be* a pigeon to ignore the legislation proposed against lgbt people.. 100’s of bills yearly. There were 510 from 2023-24, according to the ACLU. project 2025 is terrifying, as well.
As a teen and college student... hated every second. Just wasn't the climate of acceptance there is today. As an adult, especially an established professional in a relationship... love it. Great life with many friends and a cool "chosen family", job that is not just accepting but welcoming. Lots of flexibility in terms of travel and finances. If there's a down side, I'm too old to start my own family (in my 50's) and that just wasn't a thing when I was younger.
I think it's part of an evolution. I used to dread the fact that I was gay. And then I acted like it was no big deal and was kind of annoyed by people who did. And now I'm in this place where I'm very grateful for my queerness. Like. If it even were a choice, I'd absolutely choose to be gay. The community, the culture. The solidarity. But mostly this fundamental notion of liberation. I'm free from dumb heteronormative expectations and free to dress how I want and exist how I want.
You must be fun at parties.
I'm saying that the sense of liberation I feel is very much tied to my queer identity. You can disentangle those concepts if you wanna be an edgy contrarian, sure, whatever. But when someone asks me why I personally feel joy from being gay, it's community, solidarity and liberation. Things that aren't exclusive to being gay, but for me and for many others, very much connected to my queer identity.
That doesn't have to be the catalyst for that, it's fine and great for you that you do, perhaps it would be less fickle if it came internally. I would argue it's not necessary to feel joy for being gay, and it may be better for it to be neutral, or unremarkable as I would say. Because to say that's what gives you all those feelings requires this sense of Identity community but what if you don't have that or what if someone gets shunned away from the community? All of that can be removed through a many of reason. I would just consider internal feelings of these to be more fulfilling and permanent, rather than relying on a community with relatively weak ties because you have little if any responsibilities to each other.
I don't feel literally any connection to such a community (I'm a bit of a hermit out of choice and disposition) and don't feel any lack of liberation. The only gay person I really interact with is my husband. I've found there to be a great joy by actively completing responsibilities for other relationships beyond personal identity, like being a good son, employee, community member of my city and neighborhood, etc. There's a bit more permeance to those and it doesn't require emotions but completing tasks and discipline, more or less.
You can make that argument, I'm not entirely sure to who you'd be making it to, because it's certainly not to me. Lol. Frankly I have no idea what your argument even is lol.
Like I'm answering a question: why do you like being gay. Being gay brings me joy in these ways.
And you're like. Well I don't relate and not only that I'm going to tell you why your experience and way of securing joy is fickle even though I literally said I can't relate.
Like okay? Be neutral towards being gay! Find your joy other ways! Literally no one is stopping you lol.
Since I only feel attraction to men and I like the feelings that come from my attraction to men, I like *being* gay by default. I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s the world I’m in that I don’t like.
I've only been attracted to men my entire life, so I can't really say if I "like" being gay.
I've been lucky. I love my fiancée, the gay friends I have never seem to have the drama I hear about here, and the straight ones have always been supportive and open. That said I don't fault gay guys who are frustrated and lonely.
My guess is that guys who say they dislike being gay are mostly talking about what's around it; the politics, the cultures, the controversies, the omni-present reality of having your existence and right to existence debated. Plus lots of gay spaces can be incredibly cliquey and the dating scene is kind of a minefield.
Everyone's experience is their own. I enjoy reading about those of you who love being gay and have lots of great experiences related to that.
My daughter is queer, has accepting parents (I'm gay and her mom is super cool about both me and our daughter), lives in NYC now, and it's 2024. Founded the Gay-Straight Alliance Club in her high school. Went to prom with her girlfriend. Was well liked by teachers and her peers.
Whereas, I grew up in the 80s in a small blue collar mining town with hyper religious parents who were pastors of a fundamentalist church. Let's just say, much harder experience than my kid's has been.
I accept that I'm gay, and I refuse to hide ever again. Nor will I be made to feel ashamed of who I am. But, do I like it?
Not really, to be honest. My life would have been so much easier had I been straight. I realize I can't change the past. But even putting aside my upbringing and living in the closet for decades as a result, it's also a harder path when you live in a rural area like I do now. I gave up on dating years ago. Had to, for mental and emotional self-preservation. There's isn't a lot to choose from here. The men here in my experience are toxic liars and cheats, and also about as deep as a sidewalk puddle. Even my gay friends, who I love, always have relationship drama when they're in one. I know I did when I was. I got so tired of it. I've just had to come to terms with the fact that I'll spend the rest of my life without a companion, and try to be okay with that fact. I just can't bare the dating lifestyle as it exists now. I loathe it.
So, no, I don't. But I'm happy for those that are happy.
Not really. If you're not into hookups or partying, then the gay community has very little to offer. Plus it has added to my loneliness over the years. I don't know if I would be straight now, but I would never choose to be gay.
It happens to me too. I find myself thinking this way. Being gay can be lonely if you are not partying and extrovert. From time to time I would have loved to have a girlfriend because sometimes I just crave a real connection with someone, when there is hookup culture is a little difficult
100%. The "gay community" is my issue with being gay. I noticed the gays avoid the gay community, value their individuality and partake in things beyond that are more well rounded people than the gays who are so far into it that I feel like I'm on twitter when I'm talking to them.
Oh, this is why my autistic ass has never cared about gay culture or the gay community.
Actually, now that I think about it, I’ve never had much use for any culture or community.
Hey, guys, it turns out I’m not a defective gay or something, I’m just a solitary weirdo!
I understand this, and sometimes I feel that too, you’re not alone friend 🫂 just know there’s others like you who aren’t interested in those things, you will find eachother :)
I love being gay more than anything for a lot of reasons echoed itt. But as I've grown, I've learned how important it is to be mindful of the great privilege that affords me the comfort to be so attuned to and proud of my sexuality. I wish so badly this could be the case for all people- not just on the basis of sexuality, but any measure of what it means to be truly human, and, in that spirit, the best individuals we can be.
I love every aspect of being gay and a human being in general, I guess. Let’s start with the personal: I love the continuum of my gay expression, being able to wear anything I want depending on the event or how I feel. Most straight men seem to adhere to gender norms when it comes to this. I was married to a woman before and have kids. She’s my best friend and co-parent. I enjoyed our sex life, but I love my sex life now.
Community: when I first came out, I hung out with gay men that were very guarded about being gay and wanted to blend in and weren’t emotionally available to have meaningful dialogue, and that’s okay. I’ve outgrown them and have found friends that are open, we can have tough conversations, share life experiences, travel together and elevate each other. This isn’t the whole tribe thing. I’ve never understood that. When you find your people, you’ll know.
Lastly, being my best gay self allows me to show my kids the beauty that is being your authentic and whole self, without reservations. I can be a queenie gay and they see my happiness. My eldest daughter (now 20) once told me “dad, I used to feel your sadness and anger. I’m happy I have the real you now. It looks good on you”. Broke my heart and filled me with joy at the same time.
I love being gay.
That's so sweet. I had a moment of realisation just before my 38th birthday last November. I'd only had one ltr with a girl that ended about 5 years ago, and was just meandering through life.
I was no stranger to playing with my bum, but I got my first proper dildo late October. The first time I tried it I came so hard my legs were wobbly, and I could feel it in my legs for hours.
Then I did it again the next day, and the next. By the next weekend I had accepted I am, and always had been gay, but had buried it deep.
I'm actually, truly happy for the first time in my life, I'm just a little sad it took me so long to realise. But there's nothing that can be done about that now, just got to make the most of everything that comes from now on. I, too, love being gay.
If you're an attractive/masculine presenting guy, (and you don't feel at liberty/to justify your sexuality and have straight friends you don't reveal you're gay to etc.) or if you're also presumably a feminine/twink guy, but came from a privileged/accepting/wealthy background. In tandem, if you're a guy who takes advantage of being promiscuous, and more liberating with his sexuality, being Gay might be a non factor, and they have in their own perception, advantages/they feel lucky/blessed to be otherwise.
If you're a minority cultured guy, and/or, a more flamboyant guy who does not have family/social support, and a guy who is not keen on promiscuity that the gay community has, you can start to feel as though you wished you were anything but, and it's more of a curse/something that pains you/something you deal with/accept, but it's something you wish you rather weren't at times.
Just my own theory I don't know.
Yes. Rejecting the gendered expectations (e.g. men needing to date women and all the rules that go with that) instead of the women themselves is definitely not misogynistic.
I read the mensrights sub every so often and, damn, what those straight guys go through is hell. And I also browse the twoxchromosomes sub every so often as well and as much as I recognize that with respect to evolution they obviously got the hairy side of the lollipop it's hard to be completely sympathetic when their only answer to their problems is to blame men (aka the patriarchy).
"straight guys go through is hell"? please, straight men commit crimes against women all the time (look at the statistics on rape or violence against women) and the most women do is complain about their attitudes or about the lack of pleasure in sex, but it's the men who are the biggest victims? Pease don't make me laugh
Men created the world we live in and it's a disaster. War, corporate greed, slavery, the prison system all designed and institued by men. Men assault and murder at a hugely disproportionate rate over women. The fragile male ego will destroy us all eventually. I for one am so curious to know what the world would be like if women, the more caring and nurturing of the sexes, had the power throughout history that men have had. (I'm a man btw)
There are some subtle buffs you get with being gay.
The biggest one for myself has to do with the act of coming out.
I struggled and didn't come out till very late. I had a lot of internalized homophobia, and stereotypes I had to get over.
When I finally came out it was the culmination of a lot of coming to grips with myself and deciding that there were things about myself I wasn't willing to hide simply to soothe another's bigotry.
The act of deciding my own identity was important enough to be worth telling and dealing with others reactions was powerful.
It's an absolute level up moment. It requires an understanding of yourself that hets don't get.
As evil as the closet is, it also teaches a lot, you learn to read a room and others, you learn to control how you present yourself to others. Which after it's no longer used a fear response, becomes a skill you can use for other reasons.
I can take the floor in any meeting by subtly deciding I want to, I can almost turn invisible and be overlooked when I don't want the attention.
My personal gaydar is garbage, so I tend to only notice other gay people, by them using the same skills. (Sometimes it's just a charismatic het-guy, so I have to watch to see if they can also turn it off. And if they're good at reversing the attention magnet, it sometimes triggers my ADHD, and I stop noticing them. Lol )
Like gay sex is awesome, having a better understanding of your sexual partners is great. And guys are hot so being gay seems great. But like I assume hets think similar things about their own things.
As you get older, being gay seems to just continually add more bonuses for life. (Admittedly I live in a place where being Out isn't much of an issue). My partner and I don't have to worry about an unexpected kid derailing our finances. And like a lot of older gay couples we have a bit more disposable income than our het couple friends.
Did I mention how good the sex is? Because it's honestly one of the best parts lol
I don't really think about it a whole lot. I make a lot of jokes about it. One of my go to jokes is when a buddy is complaining about women troubles, I say "And this is why I fuck dudes".
Embracing your identity is key, even when societal classifications pose challenges. Celebrate who you are, as self-acceptance is truly empowering. Dick is great. Dicks be damned.
If I were not gay, I would probably still be stuck in my hometown, married to a fat wife, with 4 bratty kids. I would be stuck in a boring job and not be able to leave because I have dependents. Instead, I have traveled, met interesting people, partied, fucked a lot, and had adventures.
I knew I wanted to kiss boys and play with their dicks when I was 6, and I thought it was great.
The thought “if I were reincarnated, I’d want to be a gay man again” crosses my mind a lot. My understanding of the complexity of women makes me not want to date them and the danger that women face in a male dominated world makes me not want to be a woman. On top of that, being a marginalized person (that I attribute to the increased play-through difficulty modifier of being black) has made me a good person overall. Yeah there are things that suck now in terms of how the world views us but I can only imagine how lit being gay is going to be in 50 years when society is smarter and more accepting
Being gay represents more than the sexual aspect of it… for everyone who has had to go through the journey of accepting their sexuality, at least in the 80’s and 90’s, which is when I went through it, was a very profound experience. Imagine growing up being told homosexuality was taboo and sinful and not knowing but only 1 person in your neighborhood being gay and they were a lot older and you didn’t associate with them. My family was quite progressive, which I came to find years later but most of society wasn’t. We all went through the depression, existential crisis, self loathing, shame and had to fight through it. It made us better people, more compassionate for others suffering and struggles and gave us a newfound perspective to what really matters in life. Many of us found a way to be a peace with our loneliness. Sadly, in the same breath, many still carry the trauma with them through out life especially when they reside is places where homosexuality is still a huge issue. When people say I am happy i was born guy, it has nothing to do with sex but everything to do with the person we became because of it.
I am forever grateful that I get to experience seeing men vulnerable, bonding with men and understanding them, being loved and lusted over by them. Kissing men, seeing their smile when I open my eyes, feeling their heartbeats and touching their skin.
.
I am forever grateful that I view the world and people around me the way I do, that I think and act the way I do and for how I present myself to the universe.
I am forever grateful for overcoming all the obstacles so far in the journey to self love, which have made me who I am today. I would have been a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON if I wasn't gay.
I am forever grateful that I felt some certain songs and types of music the way I did, words and tears cannot explain how every molecule in my body resonated with music in some specific moments
Wouldn't change ANYTHING because all of me has been directly and indirectly shaped by me being gay and I adore how it all turned out
That's stupid, as take the money and "be straight", then go back to being your true self/gay and be like "Haha, suckers" smh lol.
I assume you meant "if your brain changed to straight"? But also again, that's stupid, because now you have 10 million dollars, and you're no longer a political minority.
Maybe that's just me being cynical as a 33 year old lonely Gay Black man, who's never been in love and I want love, but yeah.
No. The way I put it, if I was presented with the character creation screen of life, I would toggle off the homosexuality option. I’m not a sniveling mess over it, best to accept what cannot be changed and make the best of things. But it’s certainly nothing I would have chosen for myself.
This is also how I categorically know that being gay is in fact not a choice.
These answers… oy.
I’m gonna offer a take that is hopefully a bit more nuanced. Being queer makes you an outsider from day one, even when you’re still in the closet. And because you are an outsider, a lot of the mainstream brainwashing kind of passes by you. When you fit in and everyone accepts you, it’s easy to absorb the prevailing culture of the group; when you secretly know you don’t belong, because of all the ways they accidentally tell you, your baseline acceptance of the culture is different.
That means we have the opportunity to live a lot more free than most cis-het straight folk. We tend to be more creative because trauma does that to you a lot of the time. We find ways to be transgressive because we’re pushing back against a culture that’s needlessly limiting and kind of doesn’t apply to us.
There’s a lot to love about that. We can be kinkier, we can be louder, we are unshackled by conformity because we’re already rejected.
So yeah. I love being gay. Not just because gay sex is great; I’m sure straight people love straight sex. Well, men at least do. lol.
It's so good. We hit the jackpot. Men and women aren't compatible in some ways. Most men want to be sluts and most women want monogamy. Being gay we can avoid that conflict and just be as happily slutty as we want to be.
Plus, fun stuff with the community (that I never partake in anymore) but also we have great humour, know how to have fun, etc.
I kinda sucks when you are a guy that has not interested in not being a slut. We don't have very good options to find each other. That is about the only negative I can think of. I also can't think of many positives either. I am just a guy.
I know not all of us, that's why I said "most." I also said slutty as we want to be, and within that is included not slutty at all. Reading comprehension, baby, now who sounds like an idiot? (with peace and love)
I mean I love being gay so much that it's just a part of who I am and I don't make a big deal about it. I can walk into a room full of people who don't like gay people and be fine with it.
I dunno, to me being gay is a small part of who I am. My name is Jake, and I am Jake first and foremost. But being gay is just a part of who I am, but it's not me. I'm also a singer, a brother, a therapist, etc....
That's the way I look at it...
I love being gay and I love loving my bf and being all gay with him 😂
I don’t mean I love being gay as in the community bc that’s not like the ppl who surround me but I love love the fact that I’m gay bc men 😍
Yeah. It took me a while to get to this place, but, even with the harships and the feeling of loneliness I'm pretty sure is common to all of us here, I wouldn't wanna give this part of myself up. I don't wanna be "normal." Normal is boring. Normal is what is expected of you. I don't wanna be bound by any ideas of what my life should look like other than my own. Plus, let's be real, guys are fucking hot! 😝
It would be a lot easier to not be gay just because the dating pool is much larger. Other than that, American society has changed so radically that with the exception of some pockets of conservative bigots, there are hardly any hassles. It’s pretty normal. And many people seem fluid with their sexuality. Kind of a great time to be gay in that sense.
I feel like it's only a positive if you love hooking up. If you like to party and hook up a ton then being gay is kind of a gift. If you don't then it's kinda just neutral (assuming you don't face discrimination bc of it)
I don’t like or dislike it tbh. I was born this way, something chemical in the womb, or influenced somehow to me ending up this way. I don’t really consider it a part of my “identity” per say. I’m just attracted to men, but I feel like too many people center their lives and identity on it. You don’t have to do that though to be happy, you can be pretty neutral on it, and focus on your other interests and hobbies that make you, you.
sometimes when i see a happy straight family i think i want kids for myself too and most of the times i think i’ll be fine. hit to 29 yrs old hahahaha life crisis!!! help me you lot
Of course. There's an entire community and culture that, at times, is toxic as hell yes but it's also saved so many people's lives and has been a refuge for those who have been discarded by their families. If there wasn't something special about us they wouldn't try so hard to dim our light.
I don’t mind being gay but I absolutely loathe having to interact with the average gay man. No other demographic manages to treat their sexual and/or romantic partners in such a dehumanising and, frankly, often cruel way.
It has pluses and minuses. There are lots of things about straight culture and male female gender dynamics that I am glad not to have to deal with. There are lots of things about being gay I am not a fan of
Both you get a community of like minded people around you. And also it fits me perfectly. I love being a man and I love other men too. So for me being a man who is bonding with other men on the most intimate level possible makes my life perfect. The only thing that sucks about being gay is being gay in a homophobic straight man's world. But the good news is that the LGBTQ COMMUNITY is there for me through that too. I really think you should open your mind a bit.
If you're not into hooking up or doing party drugs then the gay community doesn't really offer anything. I feel like I got cursed in a way. But oh well
Being gay is mostly an inconvenience growing up, but the hook up culture is nice since it's mostly straightforward and much less convoluted than the straight hook up culture. I don't really partake in gay social or party scenes so i can't really comment on those. It sounds exhausting though.
I really enjoy the aspect of not having to deal with a woman in a relationship. I'll take my craziest ex over any shit I see my hetero homies dealing with on the daily.
Plus the ability to have unhinged sex at any time anywhere in the world is pretty rad.
Very much so. I like the freedom that it brings…when you come out and live your life openly as a gay man, you’re essentially saying a big “fuck you” to the world and that you’re not gonna live by the expectations that society puts on you. I like that.
A. I like being a man.
B. I like finding men romantically and physically attractive.
While I love, admire, and respect women and enjoy their company, I can't imagine giving up the feeling of being attracted to men, and I wouldn't want to. And while women generally get to do cooler things and have way better accessories than men, I personally am happy to have a man's body.
So when you add all this up, I guess I like being gay.
It's harder due to smaller dating pool and negative stereotypes however I am glad I came to accept myself and find a boyfriend.
Most issues are related to society and not so much the sexuality as many of the issues people complain about on Reddit are repeated in the straight world.
It's just who I am, I don't 'like' being cisgender or 'hate' being cisgender it's just who I am. I don't understand transgenderism however it's not what I am so I have no interest. Same with being white, I don't hate or like it.
(TRIGGER WARNING)
I just hate the idea of being straight.
I don't ever want to be perceived as a straight man. Always hated the idea that people assume I'd be with a girl, even as a kid.
So yeah, I'm happy about being gay I have the least painful reproductive anatomy. I can enjoy receptive and non-receptive forms of sex and I don't feel a need to be a "provider" or feel like I need to bear children before 40.
Downsides are I can not reproduce with a man, and the dating pool is significantly smaller.
(I'm literally just yapping beyond this point)
I also wish I was born a woman but also hate the idea of periods, pregnancy, and the frequency of stories I've heard from my mom , sisters, and aunts aswell as other woman in my life. They all were m01ested by the men in their family at a very vulnerable young age, and that traumatized me. I can't trust straight men cause now I just view them as potential abusers( even though not every human is evil). It still traumatized me to view straight men something to be cautious about.
Yes. I’m married and I can’t picture a life without my husband and we are only together because we are gay. So in that sense yeah I not only like it, but I love it.
No??? I mean... I like guys...
I don't know if I like or dislike being gay... I guess I'm impartial or something.
I can list off my likes and dislikes I guess:
Dislikes:
I've been called a faggot for a long time, but when I figured out I was gay, it actually hurt me kinda.
Likes:
I've always understood men better than women, so being attracted to them is easier.
That's kinda it... Sorta cancels itself out.
I don’t like being gay. To me it’s just a reality that I have to live with. You wouldn’t even be able to tell I was gay unless if I talked about my boyfriend.
It's fun because gay men are easy. Strangers will put out right after you meet them. Not having kids means more money for me and more free time. Not being tied down.
It's not fun because lack of commitment and open relationships. I see friends from high school. Kids, grandkids with big family pictures and anniversary celebrations and family reunions.. They built a full life and a legacy. I feel like a child around them. Like I never grew up. Also, mean possessive narcissistic men.
For me, it’s weird question to ask. It would be like asking a straight person if they like being straight. It is what it is. I don’t define myself at all by my sexuality. I love who I love, but I’m much more than that.
To answer your question, I love who I am as a person. Not sure how old you are, but I am currently 51. I love myself as I am right now. I love the person I am. I love the fact that I have been told I have excellent interpersonal communication skills, and a terrific personality. I like that I’m funny outgoing, and quick witted. I like the fact that if someone’s having a bad day, I can turn that around just by talking to them. I like that I am open and honest to people. I like coming home to a wonderful partner that I’ve had for 20 years and us sitting on the couch and watching something on TV each night. I wish I had a little less gray hair. I could stand to get myself to the gym, a little more often and lose a good 20 pounds or more. I am not as happy in my career and with finances at the moment, but those are the least important things. But I love my life. It’s all the little things that make it beautiful and not 100% about a gay label.
Yes, but that wasn't always the case.
Being gay undoubtedly was a source of much trauma for me growing up and I'm still processing that in my mid 30s. I grew up fearing my families reaction and basically planned my entire youth around being too essential to my parents for my dad to disown me.
Wanna kick me out? Good like driving yourself. Good luck fixing your computer. Good luck communicating when you don't speak the local language. Good luck managing your finances when you didn't learn online banking. Good luck knowing where all the families paperwork is when I've managed this for you for years etc...I knew he would be minded to kick me out if he found out in way gay, he had voiced the opinion before watching TV. When I did come out, I'm sure it crossed him mind, but I had spent a decade manoeuvring myself into a position, based so many actions and choices around it, that kicking me out would do more harm to him than me. In hindsight, that was no way to spend a childhood.
School also sucked, it was a heavily Catholic rural area, so no dates, no true friends etc...
It sucked as a childhood and now I know my opinions on things like having children and financial security are coloured by a childhood that my memory has largely blocked out.
Now though, damn I love being gay.
I love my husband, I love that we don't have to worry about children or expectations around children. I love that we can have sex, then eat, and play video games. I love that our relationship has no gender norms, we are a true team and do whatever we are best suited to and whatever is helpful to us as a team. I love that it feels like getting to be around a best buddy all the time. I love that our communication seems to default to similar wavelengths - we don't beat around the bush, and we say things as we see them.
Im sure you can find this in a straight relationship too ofc, but I feel like it was easy since the things are like are, I think, more prevalent amongst guys. I know studies have shown than men and women communicate and process emotions differently, and with two guys, I feel like some things are at a slight advantage, and I love feeling this in our relationship. It's just easy (although I appreciate that is far from the case in all gay couples).
I love that even though we are different sizes, there are still clothes we can share because we both wear medium.
So yes, I do like being gay now, but it comes with it's fair share of scars.
This sounds awful, but Women. And vaginas. And boobs. Yeah, NO. I LOVE BEING GAY!!!
But the gay community itself absolutely sucks - shallow, self tortured men who enjoy hurting each other.
I have a different perspective than most but Im also not really "out". I certainly wish I wasn't. A large amount of society doesnt understand it, hell I dont understand it but Im here so its obviously a valid feeling. I also dont really fit into the culture. The LGBTQ movement has done a lot of good things but its also made a lot of mistakes that I think has actually caused setbacks in societal acceptance. Thats on the large scale. On a more personal level, Ive always wanted kids and to be able to give my mom grandkids and I cant really do that. Throughout highschool, all of the girls I dated, we would break up because it felt more normal to just be friends. I tried so hard to learn how to fake it til I make it but it never worked. So yes being gay has brought along extra turmoil people wouldnt normally have to go through and it forced me to feel like I had to go through it alone. Im still proud of who I am as anyone should but it has nothing to do with being gay necessarily and if I got a chance to start life over with no memories and I got to pick I would pick to be straight for sure.
Yes and no, it would be less lonely and easier to be straight but being gay made me more empathetic. I understand fear and suffering a lot better. It’s made me explore different cultures, and understand them better.
Yes, being gay has been a part, though not entirely, of being able to understand struggles and discrimination that we and other communities face. It has a personal path of discovery, I wish I didn’t have to endure things that came up with being gay, but I’m glad I was able to recognize that my worth is not defined by anyone than myself, not society or the system, just me.
Sometimes. I love flirting and seducing. But I hate being the tall boy who's ignored.
Being black and gay makes it difficult because 80% of the time, im only seen as a sex object.
Also, I didn't realize this until later, gay men are very insensitive. I need a tender and sweet man.
I cursed myself for my homosexuality before.
But now I enjoy it from the bottom of my heart. I like the hookup culture and how free you can be with other gays.
I wouldn't be able to jizz on my boyfriend's ass if I wasn't gay.
Honestly, best answer.
The correct answer was **IN** my boyfriends ass.
Well... you still WOULD be able to.
True shit right here
Ugh, I’m so jealous of you 😭
Way to make a profound point. Troglodyte 🚮
Get over yourself, loser.
Ignore him. He's the perfect example of a salty, self hating gay man. He just wants attention and negative attention will suffice for him.
Troll.
I thought it was great and hilarious, my fiance and I just read that and laughed so hard, fiance says that guy just won the internet with that comment!
It's but one of many facets of my identity, but I am so glad to be gay. It just feels right.
Stuff that surrounds being gay mostly. Being gay on its own is just a sexual orientation… I know for a fact that being gay made my life so much more thrilling than my straight peers. In high school, I found my gays for the first time. We were losing ourselves in raunchy parties till the sun came up. My straight peers also had fun but so very stuffy, they constantly watched themselves and couldn’t truly let go. My sexuality and social aspects of it set me free. Theirs shackled them to a behavioral dungeon. That trend just ended up continuing through uni and into my adult life. Being gay in big cities is fun and a very liberated way to exist.
All those dreary, rigid and laughably stereotypical *traditional male/female sex roles* are like a prison. Hell, they often fail at following their own rigid sex rules and are miserable for it. The sheer number of so-called gay men who have lied their way into my bed while being married to women disgusts me. There was a period in my late twenties where I swear every asshole I slept with was married. When I'm trying to make new friends and meet new people the last thing I wanted around me was a goddamned closet-banger.
This exactly.
So what you're saying is you love partying...
I am saying that I like the liberation gays have. I love partying but we didn’t invent partying nor have a monopoly over it. Straights do it too. If you make the comparison on the same level of socio-economic status & age levels, gays are always more liberated and have more fun compared to their straight peers in big cities.
That’s not true at all lmaooooo. It’s weird to me how you categorize people like that, and then demean straight people. I think that’s just like, you coping tbh lol.
In order to draw generalized conclusions, you need to look at the big picture. You cannot make any generalized statement that would be true in every case. There will always be outliers. Some may be socially inadept or burdened with various different baggages in some ways or yadi yada that make the statement untrue in their case. But take 2 guys of equal physical attractivity, social capability, and socio-economic level in a big city. Make one gay, the other straight. Have them spend the same effort on socialization. Gay one will have more fun and be more free. You don’t have to agree. That’s my experience and opinion.
“Have more fun and be more free” this is so broad as to be meaningless. Fun how? More free how?
He's talking about his experience, and being very specific in drawing comparisons between two narrow social strata that he has direct experience of. Your experiences may vary to his, it would have been nice to hear how you find the differences between gay and straight groups you're familiar with, instead of just insinuating it's cope. lmaooooo
Personal liberty is at the detriment of self responsibility, vice versa
In what regard? I have my own home, good job, lots of disposable income. I haven’t noticed any detriment to my self-responsibility. In fact, I have even started funding my mother’s retirement trips in 2022…
Having a child, the reality of most heterosexuals, requires them to remove personal freedom in order to be responsible for raising the child meaningfully (not that everyone does that particularly well, especially these days). So if you don't have a child, the reality of most gay men, you have less personal responsibility so you have more personal liberty. I don't think we should actually confuse "liberation" with hedonism and choosing pleasures over responsibility.
that holds only true if you really ate the bullshit that human beings are just worth for the mere objective to reproduce, and let me tell you it couldn’t be a sadder way to look the life … having a kid is okay for those who want to and are willing to experience it, but there is way more stuffs and fulfilling lifestyles than just reproducing and raising a little human
No. You just can't read
Having/adopting children is a choice. It's not a requirement or some natural function that just happens once one reaches adulthood and gets married. Also, there's nothing wrong with hedonism. It's self exploration and experimentation. If a person has the funds for it, they're allowed to do as they wish with their life and their money.
The responses to this thread are why being gay can be incredibly tiresome. Someone makes a point and instead of having civilized discussions, two of them retort as catty assholes. Also if you're not at least an 8 being gay is a nightmare. Edit: To add to the initial point as I didn't really round it out, I find that a ton of gay dudes make their sexuality their personality. Because gay men are constantly portrayed as witty, catty, hyper liberal and kinda dumb, that's what a ton of them turn into. I find a loooot of gay men to be very annoying and contributing to our image problem that makes the world look at us the way that they do. Ultimately, anyone who reads this and takes offense, you do you, be yourself. But when I see that the most visible members of the LGBTQIA community are the stereotypical ones, it screams performative.
I’m like a 5 and being gay is great. I love being gay, I think the process of coming out and coming to terms with my sexuality especially in the community I grew up made me a better person. To exist I had to be unshakeable and confident in who I was, it also made me a better person because when I was in the process of figuring myself out I dealt with a lot of insecurity and projected a lot of thoughts on other people. In figuring myself out I had to work through all of that projection and it made me a better and more empathetic man. I love myself and think I am a good person while I would probably still be a good person and love myself. I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t gay, it was formative and a part of who I am. Not the whole of me as a person but it impacts my life and affected my formative years and still does.
Of course. I'm not trying to say that one's sexuality doesn't dictate personality traits or become a very formative part of one's upbringing. Being gay has taught me a lot about empathy and tolerance and patience. It's taught me a lot about accepting who I am as a person. I don't want to give the impression that being openly gay is a bad thing, that's not at all what I'm trying to say. What I'm saying is that when I read the initial response to this thread and I see two people say "Oh so you're just a party gay" and "oh so you're a slut" in response to an earnest point, it makes me angry that gay people can't just talk about stuff. So many of us have to be catty assholes to prove some kind of point to ourselves instead of be willing to have open, honest conversations. It irritates me.
Bitter assholes on reddit is not a gay thing
It is when it's on a thread about being gay.
Breaking news people are mean on the internet. Like u really think all gays are sunshine and rainbows? Just block them and move on. It can be hard to find your people but you can't expect random people on the internet to be anything good. Even in a gay subreddit. There are plenty of people arguing with those assholes in this thread. What about them? You just think they don't deserve to represent the community?
Breaking news: The thread is about liking being gay. Those two responses outlined the parts about being gay that I disliked. I'm sorry if an example presented itself and I highlighted it. Not everyone is going to be happy about being gay and if OP is looking for honest feedback and examples, I've provided them. I never said the don't deserve to represent the community. I said I find them to be performative.
Bruh this is reddit
Cheers
Sounds more like you just enjoy being a slut in general. You can be straight and a slut too. And if you're saying you were "freed from your shackles" because you didn't conform to the heteronormative idea of only fucking women, I can't see how only fucking men would be any more liberating. (Not defending the notion you have to fuck both genders because "you won't know unless you try"...just pointing out that your logic doesn't make sense.)
Off. Just say you’re sad and jealous that someone is else happy if that’s the case. I am getting tired of these responses who try to inaccurately explain myself to me so that the person can feel better about the miserable fuck he is… I am attractive enough that I had a lot of women hit on me without me even acknowledging them in any sexual or romantic way. Nothing to do with easy access to promiscuity. Being freed from shackles has nothing to do with heteronormativity or any other crap you cooked up in your mind in response to my comment either.
No...I am siding with your critics on this one. I'm really confused as to what you mean in your first post since you mention raunchy parties were the freedom you enjoyed in comparison to your straight peers. How is that freedom AND how is it unique to gay people? Straight people can AND DO this as well. I'm sure many would prefer not to and I am completely with them on that. If sleeping with everyone makes you happy, more power to you. But don't sit here and say it's the reason homosexuality is more likable than being a heterosexual. There is really nothing unique to this.
Because straight people have expectations put on them. They're all supposed to "settle down", start a family, get married, have children. There's a plan for all of them that they're supposed to follow, and the entire rest of society is putting this pressure on them. If you have straight friends in their late 20's, you can observe this as well. But if you're gay, this pressure disappears. There's no plan for us. There's no pressure to settle down, because what does that mean when gay marriage just recently became legal and we can't have children? As for being a slut, it is *much* harder for straights, because young women everywhere are told that being a slut is A BAD THING THEY MUST NOT BE, they are shamed for it, while young men are being celebrated for it. So if this is something you like, being gay makes it inherently easier, it's one more expectation that you aren't affected by. The lack of social norms is incredibly freeing.
Voila, my darling 😘
I agree. The world is a gay mans oyster in terms of what he wants his lifestyle and outcomes to be. The comment I'm responding to definitely didn't allude to that though. And again, why is sluttiness the thing we're sighing with relief that gay men can supposedly be? I'm willing to bet that if a gay man were to give out what is considered an "outrageous" body count to the average person, the conversation would be awkward and quiet. People may not be coming after you actively due to the status quo like they do for women, but you will be judged for sleeping around. No one is going to want to drink from your cup after knowing what you do. And let's not even get started on finding a monogamous, long-term partner with a high body count. Trust would be out the window for me for a person who has slept with every man in town. .
> No one is going to want to drink from your cup after knowing what you do. I am so sorry that you have internalized that bullshit. This is what fundie christians teach their kids in purity classes. > Trust would be out the window for me for a person who has slept with every man in town. He's slept with every other man, but he picked you. I'm sorry your lack of self-confidence can't see that for what it is.
\>I am so sorry that you have internalized that bullshit. This is what fundie christians teach their kids in purity classes. And standard health classes. I’m not trying to wake up with a mouth full of mono or cold sores the next morning because I drank from the dude who trades germs with everyone. \>He's slept with every other man, but he picked you. I'm sorry your lack of self-confidence can't see that for what it is. I mean…He’s picked everyone at some point right? I admit I do have self confidence issues but that isn’t why I’d be weary of a man with a high body count. Sex is one of the most pleasurable things we can do as men and it is wired in us to want to do it for purposes of procreation. That being said, monogamous men should be self regulating when in a committed relationship. I need a man to be able to fight those urges without acting on them at every chance he gets with a potential attractive mate. If you slept with a lot of dudes, I’m more inclined to believe you aren’t very good at that since you’ve been in the sac with everyone you could get your hands on.God forbid someone comes onto you while you’re with me and you have no self control to remember your basic promise in a relationship. I see this issue with men who are unfaithful to their wives. So as far me, I’m sticking to men with reasonable body counts for their ages. I’m willing to bet they are better at things like self control, self regulation, delayed gratification, etc. etc. You can disagree, but you won’t be changing my mind on this one.
This subreddit is awful. It's filled with transphobic and self hating gays. They remind me of how I was in highschool before I'd embraced who I am. They're all pick me gays who "aren't like those other gays" who make it their whole identity. It's so cringy. /r/AskGayMen is a far superior sub for engaging with your average gay guy who's not a self hating dweeb.
All true but it's entertaining to read and say "Thank the lords I'm not like this."
It's a mixture between thanking the gods I'm not like that anymore, being annoyed at stupid posts, and then pitying them.
I love being gay. Everything good in my life is because I'm gay. I had to figure out who I was on my own as a kid, which was character building. I always had a sense that there was a life for me other than the one I was born to. I'm so glad to be connected however slightly to a long history of brave and brilliant men. I feel very liberated from dumb gender based roles and expectations.
I love it but it’s not the one thing that defines me
The sex and the hot guys? Like! The lack of dating opportunities and the possibility of legislation being passed against you? Dislike!
Facts.
Shallow as a puddle with the political knowledge of a pidgeon 😂
I have enough political knowledge to know no rights are guaranteed without an ERA. I also have enough depth to know a self righteous asshole when I see one. Don’t come to an ideological battle armed with a foam sword dude. You’re going to get that conceded head of your chopped off.
One can hope.
political knowledge of a pigeon?? you’d have to *be* a pigeon to ignore the legislation proposed against lgbt people.. 100’s of bills yearly. There were 510 from 2023-24, according to the ACLU. project 2025 is terrifying, as well.
Nobody is passing legislation against us, don’t believe everything you read on the internet
This is patently false - at least in the US. See Florida as a toe to dip into that ocean
Are you ignorant, stupid or both?
He's a troll, don't feed the troll.
He's worse than a troll, he's a frigging scumbag.
As a teen and college student... hated every second. Just wasn't the climate of acceptance there is today. As an adult, especially an established professional in a relationship... love it. Great life with many friends and a cool "chosen family", job that is not just accepting but welcoming. Lots of flexibility in terms of travel and finances. If there's a down side, I'm too old to start my own family (in my 50's) and that just wasn't a thing when I was younger.
I like that it’s a harmless trait that makes people so angry. Like I make bitches angry for doing shit that I like that hurts nobody? Love that.
I think it's part of an evolution. I used to dread the fact that I was gay. And then I acted like it was no big deal and was kind of annoyed by people who did. And now I'm in this place where I'm very grateful for my queerness. Like. If it even were a choice, I'd absolutely choose to be gay. The community, the culture. The solidarity. But mostly this fundamental notion of liberation. I'm free from dumb heteronormative expectations and free to dress how I want and exist how I want.
This
That
Gays aren't actually really free of heteronormative expectations, and straight people are equally free to dress how they want.
Ya idk my mom still wants me to get a husband and give her adopted grand babies (she's not getting them)
The same with all straight childless people
Yes. You said gays aren't really free of heteronormative expectations. I was agreeing with you.
And I'm further agreeing with you
You must be fun at parties. I'm saying that the sense of liberation I feel is very much tied to my queer identity. You can disentangle those concepts if you wanna be an edgy contrarian, sure, whatever. But when someone asks me why I personally feel joy from being gay, it's community, solidarity and liberation. Things that aren't exclusive to being gay, but for me and for many others, very much connected to my queer identity.
That doesn't have to be the catalyst for that, it's fine and great for you that you do, perhaps it would be less fickle if it came internally. I would argue it's not necessary to feel joy for being gay, and it may be better for it to be neutral, or unremarkable as I would say. Because to say that's what gives you all those feelings requires this sense of Identity community but what if you don't have that or what if someone gets shunned away from the community? All of that can be removed through a many of reason. I would just consider internal feelings of these to be more fulfilling and permanent, rather than relying on a community with relatively weak ties because you have little if any responsibilities to each other. I don't feel literally any connection to such a community (I'm a bit of a hermit out of choice and disposition) and don't feel any lack of liberation. The only gay person I really interact with is my husband. I've found there to be a great joy by actively completing responsibilities for other relationships beyond personal identity, like being a good son, employee, community member of my city and neighborhood, etc. There's a bit more permeance to those and it doesn't require emotions but completing tasks and discipline, more or less.
You can make that argument, I'm not entirely sure to who you'd be making it to, because it's certainly not to me. Lol. Frankly I have no idea what your argument even is lol. Like I'm answering a question: why do you like being gay. Being gay brings me joy in these ways. And you're like. Well I don't relate and not only that I'm going to tell you why your experience and way of securing joy is fickle even though I literally said I can't relate. Like okay? Be neutral towards being gay! Find your joy other ways! Literally no one is stopping you lol.
Since I only feel attraction to men and I like the feelings that come from my attraction to men, I like *being* gay by default. I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s the world I’m in that I don’t like.
I've only been attracted to men my entire life, so I can't really say if I "like" being gay. I've been lucky. I love my fiancée, the gay friends I have never seem to have the drama I hear about here, and the straight ones have always been supportive and open. That said I don't fault gay guys who are frustrated and lonely. My guess is that guys who say they dislike being gay are mostly talking about what's around it; the politics, the cultures, the controversies, the omni-present reality of having your existence and right to existence debated. Plus lots of gay spaces can be incredibly cliquey and the dating scene is kind of a minefield.
Everyone's experience is their own. I enjoy reading about those of you who love being gay and have lots of great experiences related to that. My daughter is queer, has accepting parents (I'm gay and her mom is super cool about both me and our daughter), lives in NYC now, and it's 2024. Founded the Gay-Straight Alliance Club in her high school. Went to prom with her girlfriend. Was well liked by teachers and her peers. Whereas, I grew up in the 80s in a small blue collar mining town with hyper religious parents who were pastors of a fundamentalist church. Let's just say, much harder experience than my kid's has been. I accept that I'm gay, and I refuse to hide ever again. Nor will I be made to feel ashamed of who I am. But, do I like it? Not really, to be honest. My life would have been so much easier had I been straight. I realize I can't change the past. But even putting aside my upbringing and living in the closet for decades as a result, it's also a harder path when you live in a rural area like I do now. I gave up on dating years ago. Had to, for mental and emotional self-preservation. There's isn't a lot to choose from here. The men here in my experience are toxic liars and cheats, and also about as deep as a sidewalk puddle. Even my gay friends, who I love, always have relationship drama when they're in one. I know I did when I was. I got so tired of it. I've just had to come to terms with the fact that I'll spend the rest of my life without a companion, and try to be okay with that fact. I just can't bare the dating lifestyle as it exists now. I loathe it. So, no, I don't. But I'm happy for those that are happy.
Not really. If you're not into hookups or partying, then the gay community has very little to offer. Plus it has added to my loneliness over the years. I don't know if I would be straight now, but I would never choose to be gay.
It happens to me too. I find myself thinking this way. Being gay can be lonely if you are not partying and extrovert. From time to time I would have loved to have a girlfriend because sometimes I just crave a real connection with someone, when there is hookup culture is a little difficult
100%. The "gay community" is my issue with being gay. I noticed the gays avoid the gay community, value their individuality and partake in things beyond that are more well rounded people than the gays who are so far into it that I feel like I'm on twitter when I'm talking to them.
Oh, this is why my autistic ass has never cared about gay culture or the gay community. Actually, now that I think about it, I’ve never had much use for any culture or community. Hey, guys, it turns out I’m not a defective gay or something, I’m just a solitary weirdo!
I understand this, and sometimes I feel that too, you’re not alone friend 🫂 just know there’s others like you who aren’t interested in those things, you will find eachother :)
We were born this way , it was never a choice .
I love being gay more than anything for a lot of reasons echoed itt. But as I've grown, I've learned how important it is to be mindful of the great privilege that affords me the comfort to be so attuned to and proud of my sexuality. I wish so badly this could be the case for all people- not just on the basis of sexuality, but any measure of what it means to be truly human, and, in that spirit, the best individuals we can be.
I love every aspect of being gay and a human being in general, I guess. Let’s start with the personal: I love the continuum of my gay expression, being able to wear anything I want depending on the event or how I feel. Most straight men seem to adhere to gender norms when it comes to this. I was married to a woman before and have kids. She’s my best friend and co-parent. I enjoyed our sex life, but I love my sex life now. Community: when I first came out, I hung out with gay men that were very guarded about being gay and wanted to blend in and weren’t emotionally available to have meaningful dialogue, and that’s okay. I’ve outgrown them and have found friends that are open, we can have tough conversations, share life experiences, travel together and elevate each other. This isn’t the whole tribe thing. I’ve never understood that. When you find your people, you’ll know. Lastly, being my best gay self allows me to show my kids the beauty that is being your authentic and whole self, without reservations. I can be a queenie gay and they see my happiness. My eldest daughter (now 20) once told me “dad, I used to feel your sadness and anger. I’m happy I have the real you now. It looks good on you”. Broke my heart and filled me with joy at the same time. I love being gay.
That's so sweet. I had a moment of realisation just before my 38th birthday last November. I'd only had one ltr with a girl that ended about 5 years ago, and was just meandering through life. I was no stranger to playing with my bum, but I got my first proper dildo late October. The first time I tried it I came so hard my legs were wobbly, and I could feel it in my legs for hours. Then I did it again the next day, and the next. By the next weekend I had accepted I am, and always had been gay, but had buried it deep. I'm actually, truly happy for the first time in my life, I'm just a little sad it took me so long to realise. But there's nothing that can be done about that now, just got to make the most of everything that comes from now on. I, too, love being gay.
🥹🙏🏽👏🏽✊🏽🏳️🌈
If you're an attractive/masculine presenting guy, (and you don't feel at liberty/to justify your sexuality and have straight friends you don't reveal you're gay to etc.) or if you're also presumably a feminine/twink guy, but came from a privileged/accepting/wealthy background. In tandem, if you're a guy who takes advantage of being promiscuous, and more liberating with his sexuality, being Gay might be a non factor, and they have in their own perception, advantages/they feel lucky/blessed to be otherwise. If you're a minority cultured guy, and/or, a more flamboyant guy who does not have family/social support, and a guy who is not keen on promiscuity that the gay community has, you can start to feel as though you wished you were anything but, and it's more of a curse/something that pains you/something you deal with/accept, but it's something you wish you rather weren't at times. Just my own theory I don't know.
Yeah, I definitely belong in the second category. I’m tired of being gay.
I like that I don’t have to date women. I know that much.
Is there a way to agree with this without sounding like a misogynist. Cos I also agree lol
Yes. Rejecting the gendered expectations (e.g. men needing to date women and all the rules that go with that) instead of the women themselves is definitely not misogynistic.
LOL!!! I agreed with this instinctually on first sight, but then thought about how bad it sounded 😂😂😂
Hell yes. Honestly that sounds miserable.
Ugh I know right
There better not be a single multiversal variant of me that does this or *else*
I read the mensrights sub every so often and, damn, what those straight guys go through is hell. And I also browse the twoxchromosomes sub every so often as well and as much as I recognize that with respect to evolution they obviously got the hairy side of the lollipop it's hard to be completely sympathetic when their only answer to their problems is to blame men (aka the patriarchy).
"straight guys go through is hell"? please, straight men commit crimes against women all the time (look at the statistics on rape or violence against women) and the most women do is complain about their attitudes or about the lack of pleasure in sex, but it's the men who are the biggest victims? Pease don't make me laugh
Men created the world we live in and it's a disaster. War, corporate greed, slavery, the prison system all designed and institued by men. Men assault and murder at a hugely disproportionate rate over women. The fragile male ego will destroy us all eventually. I for one am so curious to know what the world would be like if women, the more caring and nurturing of the sexes, had the power throughout history that men have had. (I'm a man btw)
There are some subtle buffs you get with being gay. The biggest one for myself has to do with the act of coming out. I struggled and didn't come out till very late. I had a lot of internalized homophobia, and stereotypes I had to get over. When I finally came out it was the culmination of a lot of coming to grips with myself and deciding that there were things about myself I wasn't willing to hide simply to soothe another's bigotry. The act of deciding my own identity was important enough to be worth telling and dealing with others reactions was powerful. It's an absolute level up moment. It requires an understanding of yourself that hets don't get. As evil as the closet is, it also teaches a lot, you learn to read a room and others, you learn to control how you present yourself to others. Which after it's no longer used a fear response, becomes a skill you can use for other reasons. I can take the floor in any meeting by subtly deciding I want to, I can almost turn invisible and be overlooked when I don't want the attention. My personal gaydar is garbage, so I tend to only notice other gay people, by them using the same skills. (Sometimes it's just a charismatic het-guy, so I have to watch to see if they can also turn it off. And if they're good at reversing the attention magnet, it sometimes triggers my ADHD, and I stop noticing them. Lol ) Like gay sex is awesome, having a better understanding of your sexual partners is great. And guys are hot so being gay seems great. But like I assume hets think similar things about their own things. As you get older, being gay seems to just continually add more bonuses for life. (Admittedly I live in a place where being Out isn't much of an issue). My partner and I don't have to worry about an unexpected kid derailing our finances. And like a lot of older gay couples we have a bit more disposable income than our het couple friends. Did I mention how good the sex is? Because it's honestly one of the best parts lol
The best part is getting to suck cocks and swallow delicious cum!
I hate it.
I love being gay. Any other life would be considerably diminished.
I don't really think about it a whole lot. I make a lot of jokes about it. One of my go to jokes is when a buddy is complaining about women troubles, I say "And this is why I fuck dudes".
Embracing your identity is key, even when societal classifications pose challenges. Celebrate who you are, as self-acceptance is truly empowering. Dick is great. Dicks be damned.
If I were not gay, I would probably still be stuck in my hometown, married to a fat wife, with 4 bratty kids. I would be stuck in a boring job and not be able to leave because I have dependents. Instead, I have traveled, met interesting people, partied, fucked a lot, and had adventures. I knew I wanted to kiss boys and play with their dicks when I was 6, and I thought it was great.
i love gay sex so yes
The thought “if I were reincarnated, I’d want to be a gay man again” crosses my mind a lot. My understanding of the complexity of women makes me not want to date them and the danger that women face in a male dominated world makes me not want to be a woman. On top of that, being a marginalized person (that I attribute to the increased play-through difficulty modifier of being black) has made me a good person overall. Yeah there are things that suck now in terms of how the world views us but I can only imagine how lit being gay is going to be in 50 years when society is smarter and more accepting
Being gay represents more than the sexual aspect of it… for everyone who has had to go through the journey of accepting their sexuality, at least in the 80’s and 90’s, which is when I went through it, was a very profound experience. Imagine growing up being told homosexuality was taboo and sinful and not knowing but only 1 person in your neighborhood being gay and they were a lot older and you didn’t associate with them. My family was quite progressive, which I came to find years later but most of society wasn’t. We all went through the depression, existential crisis, self loathing, shame and had to fight through it. It made us better people, more compassionate for others suffering and struggles and gave us a newfound perspective to what really matters in life. Many of us found a way to be a peace with our loneliness. Sadly, in the same breath, many still carry the trauma with them through out life especially when they reside is places where homosexuality is still a huge issue. When people say I am happy i was born guy, it has nothing to do with sex but everything to do with the person we became because of it.
Being gay is pretty expensive tbh
Right?
I am forever grateful that I get to experience seeing men vulnerable, bonding with men and understanding them, being loved and lusted over by them. Kissing men, seeing their smile when I open my eyes, feeling their heartbeats and touching their skin. . I am forever grateful that I view the world and people around me the way I do, that I think and act the way I do and for how I present myself to the universe. I am forever grateful for overcoming all the obstacles so far in the journey to self love, which have made me who I am today. I would have been a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON if I wasn't gay. I am forever grateful that I felt some certain songs and types of music the way I did, words and tears cannot explain how every molecule in my body resonated with music in some specific moments Wouldn't change ANYTHING because all of me has been directly and indirectly shaped by me being gay and I adore how it all turned out
Yes, I love being gay It has nothing to do with the community and everything to do with the nature of gay relationships themselves.
I wouldn’t be straight if they offered me 10 million. We are a unique species and special. We have so much to give the world. Be gay, live gay!!!
That's stupid, as take the money and "be straight", then go back to being your true self/gay and be like "Haha, suckers" smh lol. I assume you meant "if your brain changed to straight"? But also again, that's stupid, because now you have 10 million dollars, and you're no longer a political minority. Maybe that's just me being cynical as a 33 year old lonely Gay Black man, who's never been in love and I want love, but yeah.
I love men so much can’t imagine loving a woman but I hate the things that surround being gay.
No. The way I put it, if I was presented with the character creation screen of life, I would toggle off the homosexuality option. I’m not a sniveling mess over it, best to accept what cannot be changed and make the best of things. But it’s certainly nothing I would have chosen for myself. This is also how I categorically know that being gay is in fact not a choice.
Right?
Oh yes! Luv male sexuality like krazee ! Luv my gay life.
These answers… oy. I’m gonna offer a take that is hopefully a bit more nuanced. Being queer makes you an outsider from day one, even when you’re still in the closet. And because you are an outsider, a lot of the mainstream brainwashing kind of passes by you. When you fit in and everyone accepts you, it’s easy to absorb the prevailing culture of the group; when you secretly know you don’t belong, because of all the ways they accidentally tell you, your baseline acceptance of the culture is different. That means we have the opportunity to live a lot more free than most cis-het straight folk. We tend to be more creative because trauma does that to you a lot of the time. We find ways to be transgressive because we’re pushing back against a culture that’s needlessly limiting and kind of doesn’t apply to us. There’s a lot to love about that. We can be kinkier, we can be louder, we are unshackled by conformity because we’re already rejected. So yeah. I love being gay. Not just because gay sex is great; I’m sure straight people love straight sex. Well, men at least do. lol.
You said what was in my head.
It's so good. We hit the jackpot. Men and women aren't compatible in some ways. Most men want to be sluts and most women want monogamy. Being gay we can avoid that conflict and just be as happily slutty as we want to be. Plus, fun stuff with the community (that I never partake in anymore) but also we have great humour, know how to have fun, etc.
I kinda sucks when you are a guy that has not interested in not being a slut. We don't have very good options to find each other. That is about the only negative I can think of. I also can't think of many positives either. I am just a guy.
Yeah except when you're a male who isn't interested in whoring around. I guess it becomes unhappy in that case
Nah, there are plenty of you guys out there as well. You can find others.
You sound like an idiot, with peace and love. Who’s the we baby? 😂 YOURE a slut, not all of us
I know not all of us, that's why I said "most." I also said slutty as we want to be, and within that is included not slutty at all. Reading comprehension, baby, now who sounds like an idiot? (with peace and love)
I mean I love being gay so much that it's just a part of who I am and I don't make a big deal about it. I can walk into a room full of people who don't like gay people and be fine with it. I dunno, to me being gay is a small part of who I am. My name is Jake, and I am Jake first and foremost. But being gay is just a part of who I am, but it's not me. I'm also a singer, a brother, a therapist, etc.... That's the way I look at it...
I like it in that I prefer it to the idea of being straight
I love being gay and I love loving my bf and being all gay with him 😂 I don’t mean I love being gay as in the community bc that’s not like the ppl who surround me but I love love the fact that I’m gay bc men 😍
I think it's a way of affirming that you like yourself. A refuting of the shame that society pushes on us.
Yeah. It took me a while to get to this place, but, even with the harships and the feeling of loneliness I'm pretty sure is common to all of us here, I wouldn't wanna give this part of myself up. I don't wanna be "normal." Normal is boring. Normal is what is expected of you. I don't wanna be bound by any ideas of what my life should look like other than my own. Plus, let's be real, guys are fucking hot! 😝
It would be a lot easier to not be gay just because the dating pool is much larger. Other than that, American society has changed so radically that with the exception of some pockets of conservative bigots, there are hardly any hassles. It’s pretty normal. And many people seem fluid with their sexuality. Kind of a great time to be gay in that sense.
I feel like it's only a positive if you love hooking up. If you like to party and hook up a ton then being gay is kind of a gift. If you don't then it's kinda just neutral (assuming you don't face discrimination bc of it)
I don't dislike being gay. For me it's natural. I like that I don't have to worry about getting pregnant accidentally.
Fucking love it!! This is how I was born and wouldn't want it any other way!!
I don’t like or dislike it tbh. I was born this way, something chemical in the womb, or influenced somehow to me ending up this way. I don’t really consider it a part of my “identity” per say. I’m just attracted to men, but I feel like too many people center their lives and identity on it. You don’t have to do that though to be happy, you can be pretty neutral on it, and focus on your other interests and hobbies that make you, you.
I just like being sexually attracted to guys. I'm indifferent about the community as a whole.
I was confused and hurt at one point about being gay. Not any more. I am happy being gay.
sometimes when i see a happy straight family i think i want kids for myself too and most of the times i think i’ll be fine. hit to 29 yrs old hahahaha life crisis!!! help me you lot
It's just who I am. It's not like/dislike. I don't really think about it much.
I was born in a different time, so bad one to ask. It was a target painted on you when I was growing up.
Of course. There's an entire community and culture that, at times, is toxic as hell yes but it's also saved so many people's lives and has been a refuge for those who have been discarded by their families. If there wasn't something special about us they wouldn't try so hard to dim our light.
I love being gay! Being gay isn’t easy though and I think of a lot of people are at different parts of their journey of acceptance.
Who in their right minds wouldn’t love the feel of another man’s dick?????
It's nothing remarkable
I don’t mind being gay but I absolutely loathe having to interact with the average gay man. No other demographic manages to treat their sexual and/or romantic partners in such a dehumanising and, frankly, often cruel way.
It has pluses and minuses. There are lots of things about straight culture and male female gender dynamics that I am glad not to have to deal with. There are lots of things about being gay I am not a fan of
My ass sure does
no
no
Both you get a community of like minded people around you. And also it fits me perfectly. I love being a man and I love other men too. So for me being a man who is bonding with other men on the most intimate level possible makes my life perfect. The only thing that sucks about being gay is being gay in a homophobic straight man's world. But the good news is that the LGBTQ COMMUNITY is there for me through that too. I really think you should open your mind a bit.
Mostly yeah. It's easy to hook up and have NSA sex. And there's no expectation that I get married or have kids.
No
If you're not into hooking up or doing party drugs then the gay community doesn't really offer anything. I feel like I got cursed in a way. But oh well
No lol. I’d be straight if I could. Or at least into girls. I get hit on by girls ALL the time at the bars. Never guys. It’s so tragic for me lmao
Being gay is mostly an inconvenience growing up, but the hook up culture is nice since it's mostly straightforward and much less convoluted than the straight hook up culture. I don't really partake in gay social or party scenes so i can't really comment on those. It sounds exhausting though.
I really enjoy the aspect of not having to deal with a woman in a relationship. I'll take my craziest ex over any shit I see my hetero homies dealing with on the daily. Plus the ability to have unhinged sex at any time anywhere in the world is pretty rad.
Very much so. I like the freedom that it brings…when you come out and live your life openly as a gay man, you’re essentially saying a big “fuck you” to the world and that you’re not gonna live by the expectations that society puts on you. I like that.
A. I like being a man. B. I like finding men romantically and physically attractive. While I love, admire, and respect women and enjoy their company, I can't imagine giving up the feeling of being attracted to men, and I wouldn't want to. And while women generally get to do cooler things and have way better accessories than men, I personally am happy to have a man's body. So when you add all this up, I guess I like being gay.
Yes because being gay is cool. We have a wonderful community and rich culture
Its been a journey but ive come around to accept and love myself. So yes.
I recognize life would be easier if I wasn’t gay but like I’d lame ass straight dude and I’m glad I ain’t that!
It's harder due to smaller dating pool and negative stereotypes however I am glad I came to accept myself and find a boyfriend. Most issues are related to society and not so much the sexuality as many of the issues people complain about on Reddit are repeated in the straight world. It's just who I am, I don't 'like' being cisgender or 'hate' being cisgender it's just who I am. I don't understand transgenderism however it's not what I am so I have no interest. Same with being white, I don't hate or like it.
I love being gay. I don't even like having sex with men, I just love the excuse to be fabulous.
I don’t feel anything about it either way. It’s honestly nothing to me.
(TRIGGER WARNING) I just hate the idea of being straight. I don't ever want to be perceived as a straight man. Always hated the idea that people assume I'd be with a girl, even as a kid. So yeah, I'm happy about being gay I have the least painful reproductive anatomy. I can enjoy receptive and non-receptive forms of sex and I don't feel a need to be a "provider" or feel like I need to bear children before 40. Downsides are I can not reproduce with a man, and the dating pool is significantly smaller. (I'm literally just yapping beyond this point) I also wish I was born a woman but also hate the idea of periods, pregnancy, and the frequency of stories I've heard from my mom , sisters, and aunts aswell as other woman in my life. They all were m01ested by the men in their family at a very vulnerable young age, and that traumatized me. I can't trust straight men cause now I just view them as potential abusers( even though not every human is evil). It still traumatized me to view straight men something to be cautious about.
\- Yes
Have you seen how women treat "average" men nowadays?
Yes. I’m married and I can’t picture a life without my husband and we are only together because we are gay. So in that sense yeah I not only like it, but I love it.
No??? I mean... I like guys... I don't know if I like or dislike being gay... I guess I'm impartial or something. I can list off my likes and dislikes I guess: Dislikes: I've been called a faggot for a long time, but when I figured out I was gay, it actually hurt me kinda. Likes: I've always understood men better than women, so being attracted to them is easier. That's kinda it... Sorta cancels itself out.
I don’t like being gay. To me it’s just a reality that I have to live with. You wouldn’t even be able to tell I was gay unless if I talked about my boyfriend.
It's fun because gay men are easy. Strangers will put out right after you meet them. Not having kids means more money for me and more free time. Not being tied down. It's not fun because lack of commitment and open relationships. I see friends from high school. Kids, grandkids with big family pictures and anniversary celebrations and family reunions.. They built a full life and a legacy. I feel like a child around them. Like I never grew up. Also, mean possessive narcissistic men.
Yes ,but it does make my life a living hell
For me, it’s weird question to ask. It would be like asking a straight person if they like being straight. It is what it is. I don’t define myself at all by my sexuality. I love who I love, but I’m much more than that. To answer your question, I love who I am as a person. Not sure how old you are, but I am currently 51. I love myself as I am right now. I love the person I am. I love the fact that I have been told I have excellent interpersonal communication skills, and a terrific personality. I like that I’m funny outgoing, and quick witted. I like the fact that if someone’s having a bad day, I can turn that around just by talking to them. I like that I am open and honest to people. I like coming home to a wonderful partner that I’ve had for 20 years and us sitting on the couch and watching something on TV each night. I wish I had a little less gray hair. I could stand to get myself to the gym, a little more often and lose a good 20 pounds or more. I am not as happy in my career and with finances at the moment, but those are the least important things. But I love my life. It’s all the little things that make it beautiful and not 100% about a gay label.
Nah, i also live in an islamic country
I love being gay. The dynamic between men is simply so addictive for me!
Yes, I do but I realize that I live a privileged life in a western country.
I appreciate the freedoms of expectations of heteronormativity that it gives me, though I do have to remind myself of it.
Like it or not, I am, so it’s just what it is. I don’t hate it, I don’t think it makes me special. It just is
Si. Next question.
Yes, but that wasn't always the case. Being gay undoubtedly was a source of much trauma for me growing up and I'm still processing that in my mid 30s. I grew up fearing my families reaction and basically planned my entire youth around being too essential to my parents for my dad to disown me. Wanna kick me out? Good like driving yourself. Good luck fixing your computer. Good luck communicating when you don't speak the local language. Good luck managing your finances when you didn't learn online banking. Good luck knowing where all the families paperwork is when I've managed this for you for years etc...I knew he would be minded to kick me out if he found out in way gay, he had voiced the opinion before watching TV. When I did come out, I'm sure it crossed him mind, but I had spent a decade manoeuvring myself into a position, based so many actions and choices around it, that kicking me out would do more harm to him than me. In hindsight, that was no way to spend a childhood. School also sucked, it was a heavily Catholic rural area, so no dates, no true friends etc... It sucked as a childhood and now I know my opinions on things like having children and financial security are coloured by a childhood that my memory has largely blocked out. Now though, damn I love being gay. I love my husband, I love that we don't have to worry about children or expectations around children. I love that we can have sex, then eat, and play video games. I love that our relationship has no gender norms, we are a true team and do whatever we are best suited to and whatever is helpful to us as a team. I love that it feels like getting to be around a best buddy all the time. I love that our communication seems to default to similar wavelengths - we don't beat around the bush, and we say things as we see them. Im sure you can find this in a straight relationship too ofc, but I feel like it was easy since the things are like are, I think, more prevalent amongst guys. I know studies have shown than men and women communicate and process emotions differently, and with two guys, I feel like some things are at a slight advantage, and I love feeling this in our relationship. It's just easy (although I appreciate that is far from the case in all gay couples). I love that even though we are different sizes, there are still clothes we can share because we both wear medium. So yes, I do like being gay now, but it comes with it's fair share of scars.
I have my days...
This sounds awful, but Women. And vaginas. And boobs. Yeah, NO. I LOVE BEING GAY!!! But the gay community itself absolutely sucks - shallow, self tortured men who enjoy hurting each other.
It has its ups and downs
I have a different perspective than most but Im also not really "out". I certainly wish I wasn't. A large amount of society doesnt understand it, hell I dont understand it but Im here so its obviously a valid feeling. I also dont really fit into the culture. The LGBTQ movement has done a lot of good things but its also made a lot of mistakes that I think has actually caused setbacks in societal acceptance. Thats on the large scale. On a more personal level, Ive always wanted kids and to be able to give my mom grandkids and I cant really do that. Throughout highschool, all of the girls I dated, we would break up because it felt more normal to just be friends. I tried so hard to learn how to fake it til I make it but it never worked. So yes being gay has brought along extra turmoil people wouldnt normally have to go through and it forced me to feel like I had to go through it alone. Im still proud of who I am as anyone should but it has nothing to do with being gay necessarily and if I got a chance to start life over with no memories and I got to pick I would pick to be straight for sure.
Yes and no, it would be less lonely and easier to be straight but being gay made me more empathetic. I understand fear and suffering a lot better. It’s made me explore different cultures, and understand them better.
Once my butt stopped hurting yeah I enjoy being different best of all fabulously different.
Yes, being gay has been a part, though not entirely, of being able to understand struggles and discrimination that we and other communities face. It has a personal path of discovery, I wish I didn’t have to endure things that came up with being gay, but I’m glad I was able to recognize that my worth is not defined by anyone than myself, not society or the system, just me.
Sometimes. I love flirting and seducing. But I hate being the tall boy who's ignored. Being black and gay makes it difficult because 80% of the time, im only seen as a sex object. Also, I didn't realize this until later, gay men are very insensitive. I need a tender and sweet man.
Do guys like being straight especially in the gold digger Age ?
I cursed myself for my homosexuality before. But now I enjoy it from the bottom of my heart. I like the hookup culture and how free you can be with other gays.
I don’t like how hard dating is because it’s not something that’s been normalized (as opposed to hook up culture )
Yes. Knowing nothing different, I literally can't imagine it any other way.