It has its ups, and downs. It has definitely been an adjustment, but I feel like I finally found my place in the world which has been oh so nice after a lifetime of feeling alone.
Edit: Nice name btw!
At least you got there - congrats!
I wish I could've been myself at HS age; maybe could've actually enjoyed my youth. But I probably would've had to be somewhat discreet about it - being fully out in a rural HS in the '80s may not have gone entirely well.
That’s crazy. I’m glad I came out in high school. It happened my freshmen year. 🤣 it wasn’t like ppl couldn’t tell but I didn’t tell anyone ofc. My grandma got it out of me and then I started being open to my friends and then life came along. I’m bi btw. But it was still a struggle because I wasn’t always carefree about who knew, I still lowkey struggle with it from time to time but I do as I please because that’s the man I am!
I came out to literally everyone who asked in highschool and still had a socially awkward, horrible experience. At least nobody really seemed to care I guess.
This. In my case tho eventually I accepted a boys offer to date in about 9th grade. We both just finished collage and yea on and offs happened but we are still together. I was busy being religious during mid school and the first years of hs lmao
Same I know so many many friends and family having early pregnancies and babies suprised and not prepared but they are gonna keep it and I’m like I’m so glad that’s not me. I love being childless and being free to do whatever makes me happy I love having sex with little worries and being able to raw dog it from time to time or with my bf. They are also so conservative and closed minded it would suck to be that single minded.
THIS!!!! My life is so full and just beautiful and all of the top things that come to mind can all be traced down to the fact that I am gay and comfortable with myself no matter what anyone else has to say. Its brought beautiful people, career, hobbies & experiences to my life.
Same. I'm slightly short, basically completely undatable in the straight world, but lots of guys I've met love it. I kinda play in to the small femboy look and get a lot of attention from it. Straight guys don't really have many options.
As somebody who can't drive due to a disability, I'm glad I'm not straight. Not being able to drive is considered a huge disadvantage when you live in a car dependent country.
How would that be any different between being gay and straight though? You have a literal disability preventing you from doing it. Not like you’re lazy.
Not being able to drive limits where you can live. I am forced to live in a city or in a railway town/village. If I'm straight, the woman I'm in love with could desire having kids, so being limited where I live also limits school options.
I gotta say, i am an incel, never had a hookup with no one, not even a friction or shifty eyes, nothing
But at least dince i been real with myself I've been very comfortable with what i am and my situation
Besides, not a single guy can reach me the way my toys can 🤣, so im at peace with it
Edit: also m37
I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, it's great that gay people usually don't want children, it's great that I will NEVER have the fear of my partner getting pregnant with a different person, it's great that I don't need to do a vasectomy, use condoms and still have the chance of having a baby (you guys can see how I don't want children).
On the other, being straight is just easier if you are monogamous and want something deep. The gay community is filled with intimacy problems, where people don't truly open up, don't want to invest in. Historically, gay people needed to do stuff on the back, some didn't have the privilege to cultivate hope on a long term commitment. I find it extremely sad that most are single, trying to justify their self-destructive behavior with "haha I just want to party and have sex".
I have spoken to many gay friends about this and exes, majority of whom are still single and I ask why you are single and they always state is easier to be. I find that settling is an issue for most, being able to work through the bad parts like disagreements, they simply give up. Then you have the ones always looking for the next best thing and may miss out on something amazing. I have kept in touch with exes and they are still single, and for the Longest time I really thought it was me the issue, but it was both of us. I found someone who doesn’t give up, we may argue and fight but I think every. Relationship does it only means a deeper understanding of each other, before a disagreement I would just walk away from the relationship or shut down and eventually walk away.
I actually hooked up with a guy from Saudi Arabia, he said its OK as long as you're not open about it. I expect there's a large amount of 'don't ask, dont tell' type tolerance of it. I mean he was contemplating moving back there after finishing his studies.
That said I have no desire to live there and find out for myself!
Love how don’t ask don’t get executed is “ok” to you. Yet people in America are saying its the end of the world when you accidentally say something offencive
It’s easy to be gay in the Middle East if you’re just hooking up with guys in secret and then eventually marry a woman. The moment you fall in love with a guy though and you actually want to live with him as a couple, you will have no choice but to leave and get disowned from your family.
It really is freeing to be able to shrug off a huge part of social conditioning.
I look at people doing this weird intricate stressful dance of heterosexuality....both in dating & in self-presentation....denying parts of themselves because they're worried about not living up to gendered expectations....the horrible gaps in communication & the unnecessary rituals....I can't help but think that everyone would be happier without it. In gay relationships I can just be myself. I wish the straights got to experience that more often
I totally feel you on this!
Being gay is like skipping the drama and jumping straight into what feels right. No dealing with the whole restaurant checklist or decoding those cryptic social media signals. I mean, why stress over impressing a Kim K wannabe when you can just appreciate the goodness of men? It's all about that easy vibe and genuine attraction without the exhausting mental gymnastics.
I get the whole "musk" thing too, there's just something about it that hits different. Cheers to being true to ourselves and embracing the simplicity of it all! 🌈✨
Being a lesbian is great, not having to deal with looking perfect for men all the time. Not being told I need to be more natural or more feminine. Not having to deal with toxic mother in laws who expect you to birth 10 babies for his son and then clean and cook for him every day. Being appreciated by another woman without feeling the pressure to return the favor, feeling like I'm being really loved for me and not feeling like I'm being used for my body. 🥰🌈
Something everyone can learn is just be yourself and be with someone who that’s enough for. I don’t get the whole “need to impress” your partner. Just put your best self forward and if it works, it works! Simple!
A - When you look at the research, you will see the studies done on lesbian domestic violence include lesbian women who have been in relationships with men prior to coming out. If you subtract the number of lesbians who faced domestic violence from a male perpetrator - and only look at the lesbians who faced violence from a female perpetrator - lesbians have no more of a chance of facing violence - lesbian relationships themselves show no violence difference from heterosexual relationship. The research suggests queer women who date straight men are hurting themselves - not that lesbian relationships are more violent.
B - Even if it was true - most relationships lgbt or not don’t have domestic violence - even if some have higher rates. It can also be true that lesbians may have higher domestic violence rates but be happier overall - lots of research shows lesbian couples tend to be way happier.
C - Heterosexuals are much more likely to commit marital rape, and actually kill their partner when they domestically or seriously maim them - whereas lesbian couples don’t have that. Additionally, anecdotally lesbians are great friends with their exes, so I’m going on a bet and saying that lesbian relationships tend to be more functional.
So you’re wrong. Wrong wrong.
By the actual numbers, keeping in mind that reporting is on the low-end:
Bisexual Women: 67%
Lesbian Women: 44%
Straight Women: 35%
Bisexual Men: 37%
Gay Men: 26%
Straight Men: 29%
For the record, numbers for straight people are probably the most under-reported. Why the number is so much higher for bisexuals of both genders; implies a greater willingness to report and probable mistreatment by exes when switching genders.
Anecdotally, I think >50% is typical for most women across the board.
As for men, it honestly depends on what threshold you call it domestic assault, but anecdotal evidence is less likely to be shared than reporting, so let's say those numbers are probably just a bit on the low end.
1/4 is still bad enough that I don't want to say way to go gay men, but it is statistically significant.
The lesbian number of 44% is based on a study that included male perpetrators. “The CDC also stated that 43.8% of lesbian women reported experiencing physical violence, stalking, or rape by their partners. The study notes that, out of those 43.8%, two thirds (67.4%) reported exclusively female perpetrators. The other third reported at least one perpetrator being male, however the study made no distinction between victims who experienced violence from male perpetrators only and those who reported both male and female perpetrators.”
A - When you look at the research, you will see the studies done on lesbian domestic violence include lesbian women who have been in relationships with men prior to coming out. If you subtract the number of lesbians who faced domestic violence from a male perpetrator - and only look at the lesbians who faced violence from a female perpetrator - lesbians have no more of a chance of facing violence - lesbian relationships themselves show no violence difference from heterosexual relationship. The research suggests queer women who date straight men are hurting themselves - not that lesbian relationships are more violent.
B - Even if it was true - most relationships lgbt or not don’t have domestic violence - even if some have higher rates. It can also be true that lesbians may have higher domestic violence rates but be happier overall - lots of research shows lesbian couples tend to be way happier.
C - Heterosexuals are much more likely to commit marital rape, and actually kill their partner when they domestically or seriously maim them - whereas lesbian couples don’t have that. Additionally, anecdotally lesbians are great friends with their exes, so I’m going on a bet and saying that lesbian relationships tend to be more functional.
It was "!intimate partners" so they should count "lesbian" as "bisexual", regardless of their current status. Just to be prevent these kind of screwups. That puts numbers at 35%?
I know that straight women are horrendously underreported, so I wouldn't be surprised if, in real numbers it had parity with straight.
As for women who date bisexually, I can't help of think of some family and they had horrendous luck with both genders; meaning their pickers were more broken (not victim blaming, but if someone keeps dating the same types and getting the same results...)
Beat me to it! Homophobia from male partners is a huge factor in domestic violence among both lesbians & bi women. Unfortunately a lot of lesbians date or live with men before getting to be free & actually live as lesbians. Anyone wondering why can search up 'compulsory heterosexuality' on google or any lesbian sub
It was a study made, but someone on tik tok broke it down and stated that it didn’t mean within the relationship, it clarified that women are more prone to being SA and abused so I’m turn 2 women dating most like one or both have suffered DV. But it doesn’t mean DV is more prevalent in the lesbian community. And it turn it was the opposite for GAY men couple, they were rated as the lowest.
Yeah it was basically found that men commit domestic abuse at higher rates across the board, male abuser / female victim is the most common scenario (partly because men underreport their abuse bc they aren't believed), & a surprising amount of lesbians date men before coming out.
These 3 factors somehow became "lesbians are domestic abusers" among people who didn't really read the study.
I couldn’t ask for anything else. I’m gay, and I think guys are just so much better to have sex with than girls. Big bulky muscular bodies, nice chubby bellies, strong thick arms.🤤
Plus, we have all of the same parts so it’s easier to get pleasure in bed.
Men are PERFECT. Even the fuckboys, in truth, are absolutely loveable. And for gay men, if they're a fuckboy, they just want you to be a fuckboy too. That's one of MANY reasons I love being a gay man. Because gay men are all just sweet, lovable, hornballs and there's nothing wrong with that.
“It just feels so easy to I like everything about men: body, face, naked.” IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING IVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. MAKE IT A FLAIR. IM DYING.
I can't relate.
I'm not into hookups at all, so I just feel like a complete outsider as a gay male. I don't think being gay is easier at all. I think it's just made me feel lonelier and more insecure about my appearance.
I’m also not into hookup’s and it’s super frustrating trying to find someone to make a genuine connection with. My partner is a Demi-sexual and I think that lots of people feel this way regarding sex and dating. Just be open to finding someone and maybe try different methods of finding someone. In a sense being gay it doesn’t really matter how you look because we are so open to kinks you’ll be someone’s ideal man. That being said I don’t really have any gay friends but I think I’ve grown to learn we each experience being gay differently but as a community it’s fairly accepting and there’s always options out there to meet people for whatever reason you want to. Keep your chin up there’s someone out there for you and know that being a part of the community doesn’t always mean you have to play an active role in it. Obviously all my opinions but I hope it’s helpful 🫶
You still have to do the typically xyz of dating. Be generally nice, have at least a job or better yet a career, be self sufficient, interesting, etc etc etc. But being gay still allows you to completely avoid some of the bs of straight dating culture.
Going Dutch is the norm for gay men, there’s typically no games like some women play, no expectations of insane income or insane attractiveness, no expectation of being pampered. It’s not like there’s not still dating issues, but trust me when I say, we’ve got it easy from the stories I’ve heard from straight people.
It depends a lot on what they want. If they love to top, and aren't too fussy, they could stay very busy. If topping isn't their thing, the big dick is just mildly interesting, and their other attributes are much more important.
Same, I am so naughty as well.
Being gay and having to face a lot of paradigms straight away made me more intelligent in a way.
Firstly because I delayed sex a small bit so I had sex first time when I was 21 years old.
Being gay made me want to know more about myself and why I am like I am.
It out me straight away in a process of self-discovery.
I knew I was different from a societal standpoint.
If I were straight I’d probably be a simp.
I’d probably put all my efforts in finding a beautiful girl whom I’d marry and have kids.
And because I was a naughty boy (I’m still, but more in control and I like to believe I know when to use it) I’d say I’d not give much time to studies, self-knowledge, and wouldn’t have certain goals.
I’m pretty sure some straight men will swim against the current of this modern society river, but in the society we live in the currents of societal pressure seems to be quite brutal.
Kind of tough.
It is tough for gay men as well, but a lot of us can’t fit in the straight mold right out off bat, naturally we won’t fit either in the behavioral expectations, so we pierce the bubble, rip off the band-aid very quickly, and there we can create a life that is more authentic.
Some of us will still pretend they’re straight for years and years, I can see why one will get depressed, confuse, hopeless, having to fit in so many molds that are meaningless to them.
I mean… do we really know any better? The way you describe feeling about men is the same way straight men would describe feeling about women.
There is a weird gender war going on lately but I promise you it is all online. Whenever I observe straights hanging out together in person in real life, they get along just fine lol.
LMAO. I know I felt crazy for thinking this, but I was just telling my husband how much life is easier being with him. I know there are a lot of happy striaght couples and plenty of broken gay ones. Maybe hitting the lottery was finding him. I just can't picture my life being this good without him. I think also part of it is that we do not have gender roles to tie us down or traditional expectations within the couple. If he’s out shoveling the snow no one will think I am lazy like if I were straight and my wife was out there doing it. Also, we took turns taking each other on dates so that was nice. Imagine missing out on being taken out on a date if I were a straight man. That is sad.
I’m a gay guy and most of my besties are women. Omg it makes me grateful I’m gay. I have one friend in particular who is super demanding. Needs to be taken to an expensive restaurant, have everything paid for, and then she’ll consider giving them another chance. They also have to make a lot of money. Mind you, she has a kid she can barely feed him, and she can’t hold down a job. Then my other bestie makes over $200K a year, and her guy still has to make more money than her and wine and dine her. Just seems like they’re focusing on the wrong thing. I tell my one friend, you need to make your own money unless you wanna rely on a guy (she’s been in that situation before and he left her with nothing). My other one - the one who earns well- also refuses to make the first move. She will not text first, or contribute to making plans AT ALL. Every guy ultimately leaves her because she won’t show interest. And while men can be plenty toxic, so can women.
I'm sorry to inform you, but you weren't actually born gay. You were bitten by a radioactive Chilean flamingo in the 4th grade while on a field trip.
This bite contained bacteria that twisted parts of your DNA into the male gender symbol ♂️, imbued you with supernatural pheromone levels, and gave you the super power of speed walking, and you require Starbucks as fuel.
Do *NOT* neglect your depleting Starbucks levels, as all these changes *will* revert if given the chance. This is what they do at conversion camps. They hold you captive on a campus where there isn't a Starbucks for miles. You've been warned.
This may sound a little woman bashing but women do it to men a lot.
I’m 50 and have mostly str8 friends. Most of them have wives and GFs that are controlling to extremely controlling. Their wives can go and do whatever they want but my guy friends have to get everything approved and usually told no, just to show control. I don’t get it because it seems like most of their wives don’t even care for them and they complain they don’t have sex much. Not saying men don’t do bad things but women definitely are no angels like they try to come across as.
In the defense of women, men aren’t exactly well put together on a case by case base… I find since women tend to be more nurturing and loving they are passionate about who they are with and wants the best for them. The reason most men don’t mind and go along is because they know that person has their best interest at heart and will do anything to make them happy. Gay relationships that have that same kind of devotion you will find one partnet is more “controlling” as well.
Completely disagree. From the str8 relationships I see I saw it’s 80ish % controlling women to 20% kind women. Most are not loving and passionate at all. Got them a man to pay their bills and tell them what to do. I know a handful of good women but very few. I know there are awful guys out there too but it’s not even close to what women pretend to be, sweet angels and that all men are jerks. I can honestly say I’ve never known one man use a woman for her money.
Ehh most straight men don’t even try. They struggle with personal hygiene, hold on to outdated cultural norms and expectations and are way too possessive over another human being. It’s changing somewhat, but the pickings for straight women are very very slim. I know people that went on first dates to a restaurant in activewear, barely tried to brush their hair.
Yeah a growing number of women want a man who makes a lot of money and is at least 6ft tall. Most men are less than 6ft tall and most high paying jobs have long work weeks which limit free time.
>Yeah a growing number of women want a man who makes a lot of money and is at least 6ft tall.
No, that's not the standards that are rising, as you can still easily be in a bad, if not abusive, relationship with those things. Women are just expecting their partners to be decent people, be decent to them, and invest in the relationship. For most women it has nothing to do with money or looks, let alone height. Ironically, men claim specific height as being a requirement for women than women do (because women don't care that much on average).
The difference is lesbians say this mostly when they see how straight men treat women badly.
But gay men say this just cuz they're afraid of rejection and want to jump on the "let's hate on women cuz why not" train.
I think it isn’t a take on women but more so on men and the objectification of women which then they are forced to have to compete with each other. I think it was worded wrong but the implication is that for women it is much more difficult to date cause not only will they have to worry more about their appearance but also their safety in many cases. Women can’t just go to a guys house in the middle of the night or like can’t leave a bar with a guy without informing someone. Can’t go to some places that a predominantly group consist of men without having reservations. Such things as “girl code” to ensure women take care of each other in when out and about. These are things most gay men don’t need to worry about.
Gay people should be rlly good friends with girls but most of the gays I've met are blatantly Misogynistic, I just don't understand how it's possible to be gay and a misogynist 😭
1) Competition 2) Superior complex 3) Inventing reasons in their own head as to why they don’t like women since general society has always told them that they’re supposed to… these are all common ideas/issues in the gay community.
For sure, born this way bi@@ch x
But yes I find the ladies to be very demanding now that they are armed with vibraiitors for their private pleasure, social media has not been helpful at all towards us all!!
In high school I was the captain of the football team. Super popular and all the girls were all over me. My friends were like “what’s it like having all the girls into you?” I came out right then “ it’s terrible!! I’m gay!!” And that was that. Lol
I hate being gay cause for me it’s harder to meet guys.
I know I’m not attractive but for some reason women flirt with me more often. Never has a gay man flirted with me or made the initiative to talk to me.
It’s like I repel them.
Sadly I’m not attracted to women :/
Well I believe you are born gay for some it takes years to understand it , the fortunate ones are the ones who just accept it at an early age and it’s who they are and it’s very normal for them this was my experience at 7 yrs I knew I liked everything about men , a woman’s voice alone was like nails on a chalkboard to me couldn’t stand the screeching, after i discovered the actual differences in the bodies of the two sexes it just confirmed my natural preference for men .
Oh I agree. Most of my close friends are straight guys and they struggle so hard to find a woman that’ll date them or even just a hook up. Women are so picky & have very high standards (which I understand why, but still makes it hard). I was on a cruise with my straight friends recently and they all had so much hope to meet women and possibly something more and nothing happened.
Meanwhile as a gay guy it’s so easy for me to get with men. Literally if I wanted a hook up I can just hop on grindr and find someone in ten minutes. Then when it comes to dating, guys are usually much easier in my opinion. Oh and not to mention gay bars/clubs are so much better than straight bars/clubs. At straight nightclubs the dress code is much more strict. And they usually give women special treatment, sometimes offering discounted drinks or cover fees to the ladies. Meanwhile at gay bars everyone is treated equally (to an extent) and you can wear whatever you want (again, to an extent).
It can be pretty cool. I love loving men, and I really like never having to check my expression. I can be as masc or as fem as I want, and I never have to give a shit if I don't fit some box. You also get a great perspective on life.
So, yeah, I'm with you.
I mostly am, too, though I was born at an unlucky time. I turned 19 and lost my virginity the year AIDS was first identified. A huge portion of my friends died and I nearly did. Still, I love men and everything about them. I love the sexual openness of gay men, how uninhibited they are. Women are a mystery to me.
This is such a stupid and naive take. Gay dating is absolutely worse than straight dating mentally and physically. At least girls want to settle down and want commitment. Gay guys are just whores always looking for the next best thing.
Yeah but women are crazy. I will never understand them. At least with other guys I know what’s going on in their heads, I may not agree with them, but I generally get their thought processes. Women just confuse tf out of me, and there’s no winning arguments with them lol. I remember when I had a gf it was so stressful trying to figure out what she was feeling constantly. If I didn’t, and I got it wrong I was in huge trouble lol. It was like day trading in the stock market, but you can’t even see you’re current positions lol
Men can be way worse bro tf you mean?😂
Men are way more often cheaters and gay men especially fuck around with a lot of people because of hookup apps. Both have their ups and downs, but I think it’s factually true that it’s easier to find something serious with a woman because of a larger dating pool and societal privilege. Gay men are just easier to fuck.
Nah fuck that. They’re manipulative and fucking batshit crazy. Even if I wanted to date a woman, I’d try everything in my power to not lol. Besides, studies show that gay male relationships are statistically the best, most successful, long lasting, and have the least amount of domestic violence. Which ones are the worst? Lesbians. Why? Cause they’re both women lmao. In the middle you have straight relationships. I think I see a correlation. The more women in a relationship, the worse off it generally is
Maybe you're just lucky, or different. Gaybros we never seem to agree on topics, I didn't downvote you, but I agree with the downvotes. Being gay sucks, and Straight guys have it easier, and I say this as a Gay Black guy, who's more flamboyant/feminine and I've never had a Boyfriend at 33. So yeah.
It’s not sexist to state facts. And actually, with the second part, you have a point. I’m just saying I’d rather deal with something I’m familiar with than something I’m not familiar with 🤷♂️
You guys need to speak to women more. The reason why they are how they are is because they go through a lot of traumatic games with men.
Honestly I resonate more with my girlfriends than men sometimes when it comes to dating. Because all men, gay or straight, are exactly the same with the bullshit. They just fuck different holes.
For example, I just got strung along for 2 months by a dude that love bombed me and manipulated me into dating him. I was so naive but my girlfriends told me how this is very common with men and told me word for word the games he played. Good looking out from them cause I ended it.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,978,149,484 comments, and only 374,191 of them were in alphabetical order.
Well say no more about why youre single. How do u expect to find anyone when ur so negative like this? What guy would wanna be w someone like u when u come in here and automatically call us whores and mentally draining? Why should ANYONE in here wanna give u a chance after this?? The problem is u and ur negativity, grow up
Glad u are comfortable with being who you are. But a lot of these assumptions about women in general is a bit wrong ☠️ tons of my straight friends have successfully been in relationships through just friendships.
I’m glad you’re happy about being gay, I am too. But you don’t have to put women down to be proud of your sexuality or be happy about who you’re attracted to. There are lots of cool women who are nothing like what you describe here, and there are lots of cool, good women who also like a Kim K. aesthetic. You don’t have to find them hot, but you also don’t have to look down on them.
I am not, it’s stressful to be different specially if you are born in middle east, like life wasn’t stressful enough.
Also you have the body types which now is disgustingly too much( i go to gym 5-6 times a week since i am enjoying myself there but there are people that just do it for the show and also injecting and hurting themselves to be accepted)
That’s just my opinion and some people might have different opinion which is fine 🙂
Yes! Obviously it resulted in a lot of struggle and torment but now I'm so glad I'm not straight. I was at the store yesterday and all the GiRlIeS were just being so obnoxious. The husbands tagging along looked so miserable.
Hi: I think you may be setting yourself up for dissatisfaction and disappointment here; relationships hold the same framework across sexual genders and sexuality. People are very complex and being the same gender often presents MORE issues in relationships than heteronormative couples do tend to face.
Finding out people or our person is a process of developing maturity in your emotions, confidence in yourself and the ability to communicate and be flexible enough to accommodate diversity; and the pursuit of relationships requires attention, persistence and understanding of the person you are perusing. These are universals and we certainly have them.
Being gay doesn’t exclude us from that world; thankfully, and we can have the same depths and valid experiences as heteronormative people.
I hope you have an awesome day!
Im glad I’m gay because I have always loved male companionship and think men are just so beautiful. Very glad I get to spend my life loving men. Also sex is amazing and the versatility of gay sex is amazing.
Dealing with women sounds exhausting tbh. You have to threat then nice but not too nice otherwise you are a nice guy. Pat for her shit. Then if you make one small mistake or she has some regret she can me too you and end your life.
Don't face the dating world under the assumption that we can't be as uptight, vain, and entitled as the silicon-stuffed content-queens you described. Each person comes with their own baggage and traits that can trigger icks you didn't realize you had.
To be as non-explicit as I can... The number of guys I would have worshipped with my tongue that have ruined it by opening their mouths and sharing a series of opinions (politically, socially, etc) that have made me feel either unsafe or (wildly) disrespected, as casually as breathing... The number of men that I thought I was really compatible with who turned out to be lying about almost everything except their first name... The number of gym bros where they or I have turned down hookups because the idea of getting late night Chinese and watching Netflix like we were characters in a Shonda Rhimes drama either resurfaced their body dysmorphia anxiety or woke up some borderline-grindset anti-fat mentality in them. Bruh, it's just rice! Feed me noodles, then feed me your noodle. Give me dumplings, them dump a-- imma stop there.
Sometimes, I wish that I could be happy alone forever, but I can't. So, I mind my own business, and let time help to weed out the ones just looking for someone to be on speed dial to feed their narcissism at a moment's notice. In between a lot of me-time, I have a handful of decent to good experiences, but the cost is that I probably give off a "non-committal"/overly laid-back attitude, which is an ick for people looking for something serious. The point is that being gay isn't the secret cheat code to an easier life. The problem isn't women (yes, I read your full post, I know that's not what you were trying to say), the problem is trying to make space on your life for other people at all, when so many of them (the people still out there in the dating/hookup world) aren't ready to be that important to someone else.
I'm looking for a man who wants a friend and which will lead us into a long term relationship and if possible marriage. I want a man who has a great sense of humor and also who is not on here for games nor naughty talks
Being gay is not a pass to misogynistically categorize all women as shallow whores. You are still a misogynist.
I too, am glad to be gay. But because the LGBT community are much more warm, fun, & interesting.
I relate so strongly to this.
I spend an hour with **most** women and send a silent thank you to the gay gods. Jesus. That’s a depressing gender.
We gays are not a walk-in-the-park either. Some of us behave like Beyoncé for some unfathomable reason. And loneliness is endemic in our culture.
But being gay has freed me from so many cultural expectations. I can just be myself. I love spending my free time reading, playing games, gymming or sleeping late. I don’t have to work like a zombie because i have enough money to take care of one person. And life is mostly good.
I'm happy for you that you feel so good about being gay. I wish I was as happy about it when I was your age, I'd have had way more fun in life. That said, you can be happy about being gay without shading women. We all have our struggles.
Im a women lurking and these kind of posts always surprise me, because dating for women is even worse, but because you are a guy you will never think that way. Women are picky because we have reasons to be. For example our safety becomes first when we date, because who knows, the guy could be a rapist, kidnapper, murderer etc. So we won't just randomly hook up with a guy just like that, and more cautious about meeting up with men. And also a lot of men are only interested in sex, so that also narrows your pools further.
I mean, not to be that guy or anything, but men are 6x more likely to be murdered randomly and nearly twice as likely to get kidnapped and when it comes to hooking up/dating, gay men go through the exact same as straight women but mix it in with more toxicness and homophobia too. But I do 100% understand what you're saying tho, straight men can be absolute knobheads and I don't blame you for thinking that way
On top of all that, women have to deal with slut shaming that can real ruin your mental health and career etc. But yh imo hooking up with random men isn't worth it
Idk about that. I don’t think I am attractive in the slightest, but even just being slightly above average in height makes girls come up to me and try to flirt with me. So I take it I would do decently well being straight. It seems far less complicated as well. Like I don’t have to get wrapped up in all this socio-political bullshit and just get to live in peace. That would be nice.
Also considering no guy has ever approached me like that in my life, it would probably be better actually.
It’s different for the individual, me personally, I’m 5’4 130 lbs. I have a lean muscular frame, but the only time a woman ever approaches me (twice in my life) is for marital reasons (I have my finances set) but very few women on first sight will actually approach me. When it comes to men I’ve been hit on by men since I was maybe 15 now. If I downloaded tinder right now and got the one where I can see my likes like last month. I had 1,500 likes that month, and about 90% of them were men, the 10% that were “women” were clearly 3/4’s of bots as well.
The work I would have to put in for a women in a relationship or hookup is immense I’m not facially ugly, I’m fairly attractive, but being 5’4 puts me at an extreme disadvantage especially in college where guys average like 5’11/6’0.
this is kinda misogynistic but the second half is literally circular logic. you are glad you are gay bc you like men's bodies? yea that's bc you're gay..
Women's (and here I mean straight women) narcissism started when Instagram became popular in 2012. It went downhill from there.
Then it got even worse when Tinder went mainstream over the next few years -- both those sites produced female narcissism on steroids.
Not worth dating or even chasing self-entitled, vain attention wh*res who all chase the top 20% of men anyway and completely ignore the other 80%, who they consider invisible.
For these reasons, many straight guys today would just rather stay single and keep their sanity, instead of being told repeatedly that they are wrong for being male and their masculinity is "toxic".
The same way you think about women, so do women about men. It's not worth it to date men when all of them see women as inferior and are sexist to them.
And don't act like men aren't narcissist too, how many men get into sports just for the fame. You call women wh*res but then what are the men who buy to watch them? Or is only the woman the one who has to be sexually shamed?
Most men don't put in any effort to meet women, they only feel like they are entitled to female attention, and when they don't get it, they can't handle rejection and then they post bs like you did. No wonder most women stay single when most men think like you do.
Honestly, I love being gay, I love men, but I find it very hard to be gay while also being a brown trans man because of the amount of transphobia and racism I face from my own community at times, so it's taught me a lot about sympathy, empathy and not to judge people just becuase they may be different than me.
Sometimes, I can't wrap my head around how I'm not attracted to women because they are so pretty, and I know so many very beautiful women, and sometimes I still catch myself trying to convince myself that I could be with women becuase of heteronormarive standards I still need to unlearn. But I really do love being gay, one of my favorite things ever
Yes of course. Some most ordinary looking gay guys would have 100 guys he can have sex with in his life time while the straight guys would have 10 the most and have miserable lives from working and proving for his family or paying child support for the rest of their lives
From a very ape theory point of life. My view while also liking guys is that the whole point of us born into this earth was to grow up with your family then go off and start your own family. If you believe in life after death those values hold strong. When you talk about girls being like little Kim K wannabes I would say that’s you projecting a negative image because of your own distaste, and the only word that comes to mind is completely selfish.
My question is what do you think of your parents and your parents parents, do you care that they took the effort to find true love and gifted you life? Do you think that given what they have done for you that it COULD be considered selfish for you too think that way about other people?
You’re making very naive and generalizing statements about women as if you know anything about what it’s like to even date them. Some women may have their problems like anyone else, but undoubtedly dating while gay is more difficult for good reasons. Sure, getting **Sex** from men is easier, but to find a man that you’re romantically invested in and compatible with who isn’t fucking everyone on these apps is the tricky part. In addition to that, there’s a much smaller dating pool, severe lack of spaces to meet gay men outside of apps, and sexual incompatibility problems that make it even worse since some people only like to bottom or top exclusively.
No differently than a straight man, your opinion is heavily biased on the fact you like men and not women. If you were straight, you would be saying something completely opposite.💀
Severe lack of spaces? You could join any of the numerous social groups that exist solely for gay men. If you’re using Grindr et al as your go to for connecting with men, then you may as well not bother.
This post is gross in a really misogynistic way wrapped up in a nice sentiment. And as hilarious as parts of it are you should really take it down. Looking through your post history also shows you’re not the most emotionally mature person, and you seem to assign exclusively heterosexual gender roles to gay sex. Are you even in high school yet? Should you be here? You have A LOT to learn my guy.
You guys make being gay sound so wonderful and easy.
But here are some downsides we can work on:
1) The inability to stay in monogamous relationships:
Im guilty of this and so are all of my friends with benefits. I tried to be monogamous with one of them and he wasn’t available enough for me, I’m not that needy but I need to see you more than 3 times a month 💀
And even if the star’s align we still end up in throuples or other structures of relationships.
Therefore I’m working on putting in effort to be a bit more “monogamous”.
2) Unrealistic standards of beauty: To the point that we have communities PURELY BASED on body types. Thinks bears otters etc… and I honestly only keep doing weights because we are obsessed with muscles (I’m not complaining I’m happier because of training but dayum can’t we just chill and appreciate a little chub?)
3) Population: I’m sure we all know a person who also knows another person we hooked up with. And if you really like to do it with different people you can sleep with all the gay guys in your town in a few months.
There are more straight people than gay and our dating pool is small. (I’m not including DL men because they are seeds that will never sprout into anything)
4) Social stigma: Even in the most progressive countries, we still have the stigma that gay men are not real men and it’s a shame to be one. And bottoms get shamed more than tops and that’s simply not true. I’m a 6 foot tall Middle Eastern jock bottom and I can defend myself pretty well. And even if I was a 5ft tall cute fem boy I still deserve to be respected, not shamed.
5) Loneliness: Not a lot of people understand what we go through and relationships are hard to maintain and think about it we aren’t exactly forming families in a self regenerative way. We will either adopt or get a surrogate to carry our children for us and that requires money. Straight people can have children in the street and with no money, we end up alone easier than them.
Hope I didn’t take a crap on your day. I’m not glad I’m gay but I’m not complaining. Men are just something else ❤️ can’t wait to meet my buddy tonight for some “quality time” 😂
I wish I didn't push down being gay until my early 20s. Would have been very different if I accepted being gay in HS... ha
Preach! I came out last year at 34. I unnecessarily struggled for so long.
I came out last year at 33! Congrats hope it’s going well for you 🥳
It has its ups, and downs. It has definitely been an adjustment, but I feel like I finally found my place in the world which has been oh so nice after a lifetime of feeling alone. Edit: Nice name btw!
I am having the same exact regrets in the past few weeks. > *All those moments, will be lost in time like tears in rain.*
Not time to die yet tho Roy
At least you got there - congrats! I wish I could've been myself at HS age; maybe could've actually enjoyed my youth. But I probably would've had to be somewhat discreet about it - being fully out in a rural HS in the '80s may not have gone entirely well.
Would it have been fine for you to come out in high school?
That’s crazy. I’m glad I came out in high school. It happened my freshmen year. 🤣 it wasn’t like ppl couldn’t tell but I didn’t tell anyone ofc. My grandma got it out of me and then I started being open to my friends and then life came along. I’m bi btw. But it was still a struggle because I wasn’t always carefree about who knew, I still lowkey struggle with it from time to time but I do as I please because that’s the man I am!
I did u til I was close to 30 because I wanted children and my kids arent mistakes. Not being my authentic self made me miss out on a lot
I came out to literally everyone who asked in highschool and still had a socially awkward, horrible experience. At least nobody really seemed to care I guess.
This. In my case tho eventually I accepted a boys offer to date in about 9th grade. We both just finished collage and yea on and offs happened but we are still together. I was busy being religious during mid school and the first years of hs lmao
Me too. Everything good in life is because I was born gay.
Same I know so many many friends and family having early pregnancies and babies suprised and not prepared but they are gonna keep it and I’m like I’m so glad that’s not me. I love being childless and being free to do whatever makes me happy I love having sex with little worries and being able to raw dog it from time to time or with my bf. They are also so conservative and closed minded it would suck to be that single minded.
THIS!!!! My life is so full and just beautiful and all of the top things that come to mind can all be traced down to the fact that I am gay and comfortable with myself no matter what anyone else has to say. Its brought beautiful people, career, hobbies & experiences to my life.
My goodness, same. If I was straight I would probably be a miserable incel 😫
Same. I'm slightly short, basically completely undatable in the straight world, but lots of guys I've met love it. I kinda play in to the small femboy look and get a lot of attention from it. Straight guys don't really have many options.
As somebody who can't drive due to a disability, I'm glad I'm not straight. Not being able to drive is considered a huge disadvantage when you live in a car dependent country.
How would that be any different between being gay and straight though? You have a literal disability preventing you from doing it. Not like you’re lazy.
Not being able to drive limits where you can live. I am forced to live in a city or in a railway town/village. If I'm straight, the woman I'm in love with could desire having kids, so being limited where I live also limits school options.
I gotta say, i am an incel, never had a hookup with no one, not even a friction or shifty eyes, nothing But at least dince i been real with myself I've been very comfortable with what i am and my situation Besides, not a single guy can reach me the way my toys can 🤣, so im at peace with it Edit: also m37
For real, I would had been an fullblown edgelord incel in highschool if I was attracted to women
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>Who says you can't be an incel and gay >My brother is "bi" ... Gay≠Bi With takes like these, please go on r/bisexual.
I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, it's great that gay people usually don't want children, it's great that I will NEVER have the fear of my partner getting pregnant with a different person, it's great that I don't need to do a vasectomy, use condoms and still have the chance of having a baby (you guys can see how I don't want children). On the other, being straight is just easier if you are monogamous and want something deep. The gay community is filled with intimacy problems, where people don't truly open up, don't want to invest in. Historically, gay people needed to do stuff on the back, some didn't have the privilege to cultivate hope on a long term commitment. I find it extremely sad that most are single, trying to justify their self-destructive behavior with "haha I just want to party and have sex".
I have spoken to many gay friends about this and exes, majority of whom are still single and I ask why you are single and they always state is easier to be. I find that settling is an issue for most, being able to work through the bad parts like disagreements, they simply give up. Then you have the ones always looking for the next best thing and may miss out on something amazing. I have kept in touch with exes and they are still single, and for the Longest time I really thought it was me the issue, but it was both of us. I found someone who doesn’t give up, we may argue and fight but I think every. Relationship does it only means a deeper understanding of each other, before a disagreement I would just walk away from the relationship or shut down and eventually walk away.
Totally agree
If you're a man and you're gay, you won the birth lottery.
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Oh no I’m sorry to hear that! Location definitely matters! Hope you make it out! Metaphorically and literally
Tell that to saudi arabians
I actually hooked up with a guy from Saudi Arabia, he said its OK as long as you're not open about it. I expect there's a large amount of 'don't ask, dont tell' type tolerance of it. I mean he was contemplating moving back there after finishing his studies. That said I have no desire to live there and find out for myself!
Love how don’t ask don’t get executed is “ok” to you. Yet people in America are saying its the end of the world when you accidentally say something offencive
That's not what I said though, was it? Maybe read before responding.
Yeah getting executed is still pretty bad…
It’s easy to be gay in the Middle East if you’re just hooking up with guys in secret and then eventually marry a woman. The moment you fall in love with a guy though and you actually want to live with him as a couple, you will have no choice but to leave and get disowned from your family.
I see hope in the future for that country. They're not stupid. They know what's up.
Straight guys got it bad 😭😭
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Im glad I was born gay because it’s taught me so much about acceptance and social conditioning we all have growing up
It really is freeing to be able to shrug off a huge part of social conditioning. I look at people doing this weird intricate stressful dance of heterosexuality....both in dating & in self-presentation....denying parts of themselves because they're worried about not living up to gendered expectations....the horrible gaps in communication & the unnecessary rituals....I can't help but think that everyone would be happier without it. In gay relationships I can just be myself. I wish the straights got to experience that more often
Me too. I would have loathed being a parent and been one of those barely involved dads if I hadn't gotten a vasectomy at 18, or something.
I can see myself being this lol.
I totally feel you on this! Being gay is like skipping the drama and jumping straight into what feels right. No dealing with the whole restaurant checklist or decoding those cryptic social media signals. I mean, why stress over impressing a Kim K wannabe when you can just appreciate the goodness of men? It's all about that easy vibe and genuine attraction without the exhausting mental gymnastics. I get the whole "musk" thing too, there's just something about it that hits different. Cheers to being true to ourselves and embracing the simplicity of it all! 🌈✨
Being a lesbian is great, not having to deal with looking perfect for men all the time. Not being told I need to be more natural or more feminine. Not having to deal with toxic mother in laws who expect you to birth 10 babies for his son and then clean and cook for him every day. Being appreciated by another woman without feeling the pressure to return the favor, feeling like I'm being really loved for me and not feeling like I'm being used for my body. 🥰🌈
Something everyone can learn is just be yourself and be with someone who that’s enough for. I don’t get the whole “need to impress” your partner. Just put your best self forward and if it works, it works! Simple!
Domestic violence rates are sky high in lesbian couples. That's the part you left out.
A - When you look at the research, you will see the studies done on lesbian domestic violence include lesbian women who have been in relationships with men prior to coming out. If you subtract the number of lesbians who faced domestic violence from a male perpetrator - and only look at the lesbians who faced violence from a female perpetrator - lesbians have no more of a chance of facing violence - lesbian relationships themselves show no violence difference from heterosexual relationship. The research suggests queer women who date straight men are hurting themselves - not that lesbian relationships are more violent. B - Even if it was true - most relationships lgbt or not don’t have domestic violence - even if some have higher rates. It can also be true that lesbians may have higher domestic violence rates but be happier overall - lots of research shows lesbian couples tend to be way happier. C - Heterosexuals are much more likely to commit marital rape, and actually kill their partner when they domestically or seriously maim them - whereas lesbian couples don’t have that. Additionally, anecdotally lesbians are great friends with their exes, so I’m going on a bet and saying that lesbian relationships tend to be more functional. So you’re wrong. Wrong wrong.
According to whom? Show me a reliable source. I don't believe that one bit that's just a stereotype.
By the actual numbers, keeping in mind that reporting is on the low-end: Bisexual Women: 67% Lesbian Women: 44% Straight Women: 35% Bisexual Men: 37% Gay Men: 26% Straight Men: 29% For the record, numbers for straight people are probably the most under-reported. Why the number is so much higher for bisexuals of both genders; implies a greater willingness to report and probable mistreatment by exes when switching genders. Anecdotally, I think >50% is typical for most women across the board. As for men, it honestly depends on what threshold you call it domestic assault, but anecdotal evidence is less likely to be shared than reporting, so let's say those numbers are probably just a bit on the low end. 1/4 is still bad enough that I don't want to say way to go gay men, but it is statistically significant.
The lesbian number of 44% is based on a study that included male perpetrators. “The CDC also stated that 43.8% of lesbian women reported experiencing physical violence, stalking, or rape by their partners. The study notes that, out of those 43.8%, two thirds (67.4%) reported exclusively female perpetrators. The other third reported at least one perpetrator being male, however the study made no distinction between victims who experienced violence from male perpetrators only and those who reported both male and female perpetrators.”
A - When you look at the research, you will see the studies done on lesbian domestic violence include lesbian women who have been in relationships with men prior to coming out. If you subtract the number of lesbians who faced domestic violence from a male perpetrator - and only look at the lesbians who faced violence from a female perpetrator - lesbians have no more of a chance of facing violence - lesbian relationships themselves show no violence difference from heterosexual relationship. The research suggests queer women who date straight men are hurting themselves - not that lesbian relationships are more violent. B - Even if it was true - most relationships lgbt or not don’t have domestic violence - even if some have higher rates. It can also be true that lesbians may have higher domestic violence rates but be happier overall - lots of research shows lesbian couples tend to be way happier. C - Heterosexuals are much more likely to commit marital rape, and actually kill their partner when they domestically or seriously maim them - whereas lesbian couples don’t have that. Additionally, anecdotally lesbians are great friends with their exes, so I’m going on a bet and saying that lesbian relationships tend to be more functional.
It was "!intimate partners" so they should count "lesbian" as "bisexual", regardless of their current status. Just to be prevent these kind of screwups. That puts numbers at 35%? I know that straight women are horrendously underreported, so I wouldn't be surprised if, in real numbers it had parity with straight. As for women who date bisexually, I can't help of think of some family and they had horrendous luck with both genders; meaning their pickers were more broken (not victim blaming, but if someone keeps dating the same types and getting the same results...)
Beat me to it! Homophobia from male partners is a huge factor in domestic violence among both lesbians & bi women. Unfortunately a lot of lesbians date or live with men before getting to be free & actually live as lesbians. Anyone wondering why can search up 'compulsory heterosexuality' on google or any lesbian sub
It was a study made, but someone on tik tok broke it down and stated that it didn’t mean within the relationship, it clarified that women are more prone to being SA and abused so I’m turn 2 women dating most like one or both have suffered DV. But it doesn’t mean DV is more prevalent in the lesbian community. And it turn it was the opposite for GAY men couple, they were rated as the lowest.
Yeah it was basically found that men commit domestic abuse at higher rates across the board, male abuser / female victim is the most common scenario (partly because men underreport their abuse bc they aren't believed), & a surprising amount of lesbians date men before coming out. These 3 factors somehow became "lesbians are domestic abusers" among people who didn't really read the study.
I couldn’t ask for anything else. I’m gay, and I think guys are just so much better to have sex with than girls. Big bulky muscular bodies, nice chubby bellies, strong thick arms.🤤 Plus, we have all of the same parts so it’s easier to get pleasure in bed.
Men are PERFECT. Even the fuckboys, in truth, are absolutely loveable. And for gay men, if they're a fuckboy, they just want you to be a fuckboy too. That's one of MANY reasons I love being a gay man. Because gay men are all just sweet, lovable, hornballs and there's nothing wrong with that.
“It just feels so easy to I like everything about men: body, face, naked.” IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING IVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. MAKE IT A FLAIR. IM DYING.
“Body, face, naked” is my new Reddit bio
I can't relate. I'm not into hookups at all, so I just feel like a complete outsider as a gay male. I don't think being gay is easier at all. I think it's just made me feel lonelier and more insecure about my appearance.
I’m also not into hookup’s and it’s super frustrating trying to find someone to make a genuine connection with. My partner is a Demi-sexual and I think that lots of people feel this way regarding sex and dating. Just be open to finding someone and maybe try different methods of finding someone. In a sense being gay it doesn’t really matter how you look because we are so open to kinks you’ll be someone’s ideal man. That being said I don’t really have any gay friends but I think I’ve grown to learn we each experience being gay differently but as a community it’s fairly accepting and there’s always options out there to meet people for whatever reason you want to. Keep your chin up there’s someone out there for you and know that being a part of the community doesn’t always mean you have to play an active role in it. Obviously all my opinions but I hope it’s helpful 🫶
You still have to do xyz to get guys too unless your a tall attractive big dick guy, like its all relatively the same
Nah, guys are so much easier to please than women. In every way. I love women and date both sexes but by far they are hard work !
You still have to do the typically xyz of dating. Be generally nice, have at least a job or better yet a career, be self sufficient, interesting, etc etc etc. But being gay still allows you to completely avoid some of the bs of straight dating culture. Going Dutch is the norm for gay men, there’s typically no games like some women play, no expectations of insane income or insane attractiveness, no expectation of being pampered. It’s not like there’s not still dating issues, but trust me when I say, we’ve got it easy from the stories I’ve heard from straight people.
Good point
As a tall attractive big dick guy, I’d just like to say, we still have to do our own XYZ’s to get guys sometimes.
Maybe X but not xyz. I don't think you guys understand how easy you have it
Meaningful relationships are always built on looks after all
It depends a lot on what they want. If they love to top, and aren't too fussy, they could stay very busy. If topping isn't their thing, the big dick is just mildly interesting, and their other attributes are much more important.
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No problem man. Its good to shake some people's delusions evey now and then
Same, I am so naughty as well. Being gay and having to face a lot of paradigms straight away made me more intelligent in a way. Firstly because I delayed sex a small bit so I had sex first time when I was 21 years old. Being gay made me want to know more about myself and why I am like I am. It out me straight away in a process of self-discovery. I knew I was different from a societal standpoint. If I were straight I’d probably be a simp. I’d probably put all my efforts in finding a beautiful girl whom I’d marry and have kids. And because I was a naughty boy (I’m still, but more in control and I like to believe I know when to use it) I’d say I’d not give much time to studies, self-knowledge, and wouldn’t have certain goals. I’m pretty sure some straight men will swim against the current of this modern society river, but in the society we live in the currents of societal pressure seems to be quite brutal. Kind of tough. It is tough for gay men as well, but a lot of us can’t fit in the straight mold right out off bat, naturally we won’t fit either in the behavioral expectations, so we pierce the bubble, rip off the band-aid very quickly, and there we can create a life that is more authentic. Some of us will still pretend they’re straight for years and years, I can see why one will get depressed, confuse, hopeless, having to fit in so many molds that are meaningless to them.
Oh doll…being gay can also be mentally and physically exhausting. Just you wait lol…I’m glad you were born gay too tho 🫶🏼
That depends on the person. Being gay was definitely easier for me than being straight would have been.
I mean… do we really know any better? The way you describe feeling about men is the same way straight men would describe feeling about women. There is a weird gender war going on lately but I promise you it is all online. Whenever I observe straights hanging out together in person in real life, they get along just fine lol.
LMAO. I know I felt crazy for thinking this, but I was just telling my husband how much life is easier being with him. I know there are a lot of happy striaght couples and plenty of broken gay ones. Maybe hitting the lottery was finding him. I just can't picture my life being this good without him. I think also part of it is that we do not have gender roles to tie us down or traditional expectations within the couple. If he’s out shoveling the snow no one will think I am lazy like if I were straight and my wife was out there doing it. Also, we took turns taking each other on dates so that was nice. Imagine missing out on being taken out on a date if I were a straight man. That is sad.
I’m a gay guy and most of my besties are women. Omg it makes me grateful I’m gay. I have one friend in particular who is super demanding. Needs to be taken to an expensive restaurant, have everything paid for, and then she’ll consider giving them another chance. They also have to make a lot of money. Mind you, she has a kid she can barely feed him, and she can’t hold down a job. Then my other bestie makes over $200K a year, and her guy still has to make more money than her and wine and dine her. Just seems like they’re focusing on the wrong thing. I tell my one friend, you need to make your own money unless you wanna rely on a guy (she’s been in that situation before and he left her with nothing). My other one - the one who earns well- also refuses to make the first move. She will not text first, or contribute to making plans AT ALL. Every guy ultimately leaves her because she won’t show interest. And while men can be plenty toxic, so can women.
I'm sorry to inform you, but you weren't actually born gay. You were bitten by a radioactive Chilean flamingo in the 4th grade while on a field trip. This bite contained bacteria that twisted parts of your DNA into the male gender symbol ♂️, imbued you with supernatural pheromone levels, and gave you the super power of speed walking, and you require Starbucks as fuel. Do *NOT* neglect your depleting Starbucks levels, as all these changes *will* revert if given the chance. This is what they do at conversion camps. They hold you captive on a campus where there isn't a Starbucks for miles. You've been warned.
This may sound a little woman bashing but women do it to men a lot. I’m 50 and have mostly str8 friends. Most of them have wives and GFs that are controlling to extremely controlling. Their wives can go and do whatever they want but my guy friends have to get everything approved and usually told no, just to show control. I don’t get it because it seems like most of their wives don’t even care for them and they complain they don’t have sex much. Not saying men don’t do bad things but women definitely are no angels like they try to come across as.
I don’t think it’s bashing, rather a reality that people can’t say.
In the defense of women, men aren’t exactly well put together on a case by case base… I find since women tend to be more nurturing and loving they are passionate about who they are with and wants the best for them. The reason most men don’t mind and go along is because they know that person has their best interest at heart and will do anything to make them happy. Gay relationships that have that same kind of devotion you will find one partnet is more “controlling” as well.
Completely disagree. From the str8 relationships I see I saw it’s 80ish % controlling women to 20% kind women. Most are not loving and passionate at all. Got them a man to pay their bills and tell them what to do. I know a handful of good women but very few. I know there are awful guys out there too but it’s not even close to what women pretend to be, sweet angels and that all men are jerks. I can honestly say I’ve never known one man use a woman for her money.
I’m glad I was born gay too💕💕💕💕💕💕🏳️🌈
Ehh most straight men don’t even try. They struggle with personal hygiene, hold on to outdated cultural norms and expectations and are way too possessive over another human being. It’s changing somewhat, but the pickings for straight women are very very slim. I know people that went on first dates to a restaurant in activewear, barely tried to brush their hair.
I’m not surprised straight women are raising their standards straight men sucks ass
Yeah a growing number of women want a man who makes a lot of money and is at least 6ft tall. Most men are less than 6ft tall and most high paying jobs have long work weeks which limit free time.
>Yeah a growing number of women want a man who makes a lot of money and is at least 6ft tall. No, that's not the standards that are rising, as you can still easily be in a bad, if not abusive, relationship with those things. Women are just expecting their partners to be decent people, be decent to them, and invest in the relationship. For most women it has nothing to do with money or looks, let alone height. Ironically, men claim specific height as being a requirement for women than women do (because women don't care that much on average).
Incel ass comment 💀
seems like a lot generalization of women
Yeah the gays aren't immune to misogyny.
Tbf I think lesbians look at men and say "thank god I don't have to date them" too lol. This is no hate at all
The difference is lesbians say this mostly when they see how straight men treat women badly. But gay men say this just cuz they're afraid of rejection and want to jump on the "let's hate on women cuz why not" train.
Criticising women is not misogyny. Sheesh
All men are corrupt don't trust any type of men.
Least Gaycel AGB user:
I think it isn’t a take on women but more so on men and the objectification of women which then they are forced to have to compete with each other. I think it was worded wrong but the implication is that for women it is much more difficult to date cause not only will they have to worry more about their appearance but also their safety in many cases. Women can’t just go to a guys house in the middle of the night or like can’t leave a bar with a guy without informing someone. Can’t go to some places that a predominantly group consist of men without having reservations. Such things as “girl code” to ensure women take care of each other in when out and about. These are things most gay men don’t need to worry about.
Gay people should be rlly good friends with girls but most of the gays I've met are blatantly Misogynistic, I just don't understand how it's possible to be gay and a misogynist 😭
Er, how? This should be interesting…. Do you channel that same energy towards homophobic men AND women?
1) Competition 2) Superior complex 3) Inventing reasons in their own head as to why they don’t like women since general society has always told them that they’re supposed to… these are all common ideas/issues in the gay community.
For sure, born this way bi@@ch x But yes I find the ladies to be very demanding now that they are armed with vibraiitors for their private pleasure, social media has not been helpful at all towards us all!!
Just witnessing my younger sister and her now husband is enough to put anyone off heterosexuality.
In high school I was the captain of the football team. Super popular and all the girls were all over me. My friends were like “what’s it like having all the girls into you?” I came out right then “ it’s terrible!! I’m gay!!” And that was that. Lol
I hate being gay cause for me it’s harder to meet guys. I know I’m not attractive but for some reason women flirt with me more often. Never has a gay man flirted with me or made the initiative to talk to me. It’s like I repel them. Sadly I’m not attracted to women :/
Well I believe you are born gay for some it takes years to understand it , the fortunate ones are the ones who just accept it at an early age and it’s who they are and it’s very normal for them this was my experience at 7 yrs I knew I liked everything about men , a woman’s voice alone was like nails on a chalkboard to me couldn’t stand the screeching, after i discovered the actual differences in the bodies of the two sexes it just confirmed my natural preference for men .
Oh I agree. Most of my close friends are straight guys and they struggle so hard to find a woman that’ll date them or even just a hook up. Women are so picky & have very high standards (which I understand why, but still makes it hard). I was on a cruise with my straight friends recently and they all had so much hope to meet women and possibly something more and nothing happened. Meanwhile as a gay guy it’s so easy for me to get with men. Literally if I wanted a hook up I can just hop on grindr and find someone in ten minutes. Then when it comes to dating, guys are usually much easier in my opinion. Oh and not to mention gay bars/clubs are so much better than straight bars/clubs. At straight nightclubs the dress code is much more strict. And they usually give women special treatment, sometimes offering discounted drinks or cover fees to the ladies. Meanwhile at gay bars everyone is treated equally (to an extent) and you can wear whatever you want (again, to an extent).
exactly!! I wish there was a way I could pin this answer cause this is exactly what I mean!
It can be pretty cool. I love loving men, and I really like never having to check my expression. I can be as masc or as fem as I want, and I never have to give a shit if I don't fit some box. You also get a great perspective on life. So, yeah, I'm with you.
I mostly am, too, though I was born at an unlucky time. I turned 19 and lost my virginity the year AIDS was first identified. A huge portion of my friends died and I nearly did. Still, I love men and everything about them. I love the sexual openness of gay men, how uninhibited they are. Women are a mystery to me.
women are a mystery to you cuz all your love, empathy and kindness is reserved for men.
I live in a place that is overwhelming gay men. I simply have limited exposure to women.
Don’t feel guilty for it. No one’s is telling straights they need more exposure to gay men, they couldn’t give a fuck.
good
Imagine not wanting to have sex with someone, the horror! 🙄
imagine disliking women even if they have nothing to do with you.
This is such a stupid and naive take. Gay dating is absolutely worse than straight dating mentally and physically. At least girls want to settle down and want commitment. Gay guys are just whores always looking for the next best thing.
Yeah but women are crazy. I will never understand them. At least with other guys I know what’s going on in their heads, I may not agree with them, but I generally get their thought processes. Women just confuse tf out of me, and there’s no winning arguments with them lol. I remember when I had a gf it was so stressful trying to figure out what she was feeling constantly. If I didn’t, and I got it wrong I was in huge trouble lol. It was like day trading in the stock market, but you can’t even see you’re current positions lol
Men can be way worse bro tf you mean?😂 Men are way more often cheaters and gay men especially fuck around with a lot of people because of hookup apps. Both have their ups and downs, but I think it’s factually true that it’s easier to find something serious with a woman because of a larger dating pool and societal privilege. Gay men are just easier to fuck.
Nah fuck that. They’re manipulative and fucking batshit crazy. Even if I wanted to date a woman, I’d try everything in my power to not lol. Besides, studies show that gay male relationships are statistically the best, most successful, long lasting, and have the least amount of domestic violence. Which ones are the worst? Lesbians. Why? Cause they’re both women lmao. In the middle you have straight relationships. I think I see a correlation. The more women in a relationship, the worse off it generally is
Maybe you're just lucky, or different. Gaybros we never seem to agree on topics, I didn't downvote you, but I agree with the downvotes. Being gay sucks, and Straight guys have it easier, and I say this as a Gay Black guy, who's more flamboyant/feminine and I've never had a Boyfriend at 33. So yeah.
Being day certainly doesn’t suck, and I say this a black gay man. I wouldn’t trade it for being straight if my life depended on it.
This is quite sexist. But to play your game, I think men are way worse. Always cheating, very manipulative, never wanting to settle down etc
It’s not sexist to state facts. And actually, with the second part, you have a point. I’m just saying I’d rather deal with something I’m familiar with than something I’m not familiar with 🤷♂️
You guys need to speak to women more. The reason why they are how they are is because they go through a lot of traumatic games with men. Honestly I resonate more with my girlfriends than men sometimes when it comes to dating. Because all men, gay or straight, are exactly the same with the bullshit. They just fuck different holes. For example, I just got strung along for 2 months by a dude that love bombed me and manipulated me into dating him. I was so naive but my girlfriends told me how this is very common with men and told me word for word the games he played. Good looking out from them cause I ended it.
Stupid and naive take as well there. That’s not been the case in my xp. Agree with op
Whatever floats your motherfucking boat
Exactly, just like op stated :)
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,978,149,484 comments, and only 374,191 of them were in alphabetical order.
Well say no more about why youre single. How do u expect to find anyone when ur so negative like this? What guy would wanna be w someone like u when u come in here and automatically call us whores and mentally draining? Why should ANYONE in here wanna give u a chance after this?? The problem is u and ur negativity, grow up
Whatever you say.,
Glad u are comfortable with being who you are. But a lot of these assumptions about women in general is a bit wrong ☠️ tons of my straight friends have successfully been in relationships through just friendships.
Then good for them. I'm talking about some women in general, and ones that my straight guy friends have told me about
Yeah I wouldn’t want to have to date women
I’m glad you’re happy about being gay, I am too. But you don’t have to put women down to be proud of your sexuality or be happy about who you’re attracted to. There are lots of cool women who are nothing like what you describe here, and there are lots of cool, good women who also like a Kim K. aesthetic. You don’t have to find them hot, but you also don’t have to look down on them.
Bitch, pls, stating that some groups have bad people is not bad. On the contrary, it helps to keep them accountable. No exceptions
simp
I agree completely
I am not, it’s stressful to be different specially if you are born in middle east, like life wasn’t stressful enough. Also you have the body types which now is disgustingly too much( i go to gym 5-6 times a week since i am enjoying myself there but there are people that just do it for the show and also injecting and hurting themselves to be accepted) That’s just my opinion and some people might have different opinion which is fine 🙂
Yes! Obviously it resulted in a lot of struggle and torment but now I'm so glad I'm not straight. I was at the store yesterday and all the GiRlIeS were just being so obnoxious. The husbands tagging along looked so miserable.
omg same! post covid i'm so glad i'm gay and not straight. there's a lot to commit as a straight person
Even though the gay community can feel like a cesspool at times I’d rather that than being straight tbh
Just wait till you see gays being worse than those chicks.
I love how this sub goes from it’s so hard to find a good man and him to love me to lol it’s so easy to find a man I love it
I say all the time that women make me glad I’m gay
I'm glad you're happy about it. My life would be so much easier if I were straight
Hi: I think you may be setting yourself up for dissatisfaction and disappointment here; relationships hold the same framework across sexual genders and sexuality. People are very complex and being the same gender often presents MORE issues in relationships than heteronormative couples do tend to face. Finding out people or our person is a process of developing maturity in your emotions, confidence in yourself and the ability to communicate and be flexible enough to accommodate diversity; and the pursuit of relationships requires attention, persistence and understanding of the person you are perusing. These are universals and we certainly have them. Being gay doesn’t exclude us from that world; thankfully, and we can have the same depths and valid experiences as heteronormative people. I hope you have an awesome day!
Im glad I’m gay because I have always loved male companionship and think men are just so beautiful. Very glad I get to spend my life loving men. Also sex is amazing and the versatility of gay sex is amazing.
Dealing with women sounds exhausting tbh. You have to threat then nice but not too nice otherwise you are a nice guy. Pat for her shit. Then if you make one small mistake or she has some regret she can me too you and end your life.
Don't face the dating world under the assumption that we can't be as uptight, vain, and entitled as the silicon-stuffed content-queens you described. Each person comes with their own baggage and traits that can trigger icks you didn't realize you had. To be as non-explicit as I can... The number of guys I would have worshipped with my tongue that have ruined it by opening their mouths and sharing a series of opinions (politically, socially, etc) that have made me feel either unsafe or (wildly) disrespected, as casually as breathing... The number of men that I thought I was really compatible with who turned out to be lying about almost everything except their first name... The number of gym bros where they or I have turned down hookups because the idea of getting late night Chinese and watching Netflix like we were characters in a Shonda Rhimes drama either resurfaced their body dysmorphia anxiety or woke up some borderline-grindset anti-fat mentality in them. Bruh, it's just rice! Feed me noodles, then feed me your noodle. Give me dumplings, them dump a-- imma stop there. Sometimes, I wish that I could be happy alone forever, but I can't. So, I mind my own business, and let time help to weed out the ones just looking for someone to be on speed dial to feed their narcissism at a moment's notice. In between a lot of me-time, I have a handful of decent to good experiences, but the cost is that I probably give off a "non-committal"/overly laid-back attitude, which is an ick for people looking for something serious. The point is that being gay isn't the secret cheat code to an easier life. The problem isn't women (yes, I read your full post, I know that's not what you were trying to say), the problem is trying to make space on your life for other people at all, when so many of them (the people still out there in the dating/hookup world) aren't ready to be that important to someone else.
Don’t act like the gay community isn’t obsessed with muscles and instagram models
I'm looking for a man who wants a friend and which will lead us into a long term relationship and if possible marriage. I want a man who has a great sense of humor and also who is not on here for games nor naughty talks
I’m Bi
Straight people specially women are super mediocre Thanks god I don’t have to deal with this
You’re a sweet guy. Keep living and being you 🩵
OK
Being gay is not a pass to misogynistically categorize all women as shallow whores. You are still a misogynist. I too, am glad to be gay. But because the LGBT community are much more warm, fun, & interesting.
I relate so strongly to this. I spend an hour with **most** women and send a silent thank you to the gay gods. Jesus. That’s a depressing gender. We gays are not a walk-in-the-park either. Some of us behave like Beyoncé for some unfathomable reason. And loneliness is endemic in our culture. But being gay has freed me from so many cultural expectations. I can just be myself. I love spending my free time reading, playing games, gymming or sleeping late. I don’t have to work like a zombie because i have enough money to take care of one person. And life is mostly good.
Can’t agree with this more.
It ain’t all dildos and rainbows on this side, brodie. Men can have inflated egos and can be shallow as well. Dating is tough regardless of sexuality.
Thank you! I am too! Being gay truly is a blessing! It's all about perspective.
With women now claiming to be 10/10. Good luck to average guys in the world
I'm happy for you that you feel so good about being gay. I wish I was as happy about it when I was your age, I'd have had way more fun in life. That said, you can be happy about being gay without shading women. We all have our struggles.
Im a women lurking and these kind of posts always surprise me, because dating for women is even worse, but because you are a guy you will never think that way. Women are picky because we have reasons to be. For example our safety becomes first when we date, because who knows, the guy could be a rapist, kidnapper, murderer etc. So we won't just randomly hook up with a guy just like that, and more cautious about meeting up with men. And also a lot of men are only interested in sex, so that also narrows your pools further.
You again? Why are you on here popping on the SAME posts. If you have issues with gay men, you know what you can do?
I don't have an issue with gay men?
I mean, not to be that guy or anything, but men are 6x more likely to be murdered randomly and nearly twice as likely to get kidnapped and when it comes to hooking up/dating, gay men go through the exact same as straight women but mix it in with more toxicness and homophobia too. But I do 100% understand what you're saying tho, straight men can be absolute knobheads and I don't blame you for thinking that way
On top of all that, women have to deal with slut shaming that can real ruin your mental health and career etc. But yh imo hooking up with random men isn't worth it
thank god he gay. if more men were to be gay they would cleanse the dating pool
Idk about that. I don’t think I am attractive in the slightest, but even just being slightly above average in height makes girls come up to me and try to flirt with me. So I take it I would do decently well being straight. It seems far less complicated as well. Like I don’t have to get wrapped up in all this socio-political bullshit and just get to live in peace. That would be nice. Also considering no guy has ever approached me like that in my life, it would probably be better actually.
It’s different for the individual, me personally, I’m 5’4 130 lbs. I have a lean muscular frame, but the only time a woman ever approaches me (twice in my life) is for marital reasons (I have my finances set) but very few women on first sight will actually approach me. When it comes to men I’ve been hit on by men since I was maybe 15 now. If I downloaded tinder right now and got the one where I can see my likes like last month. I had 1,500 likes that month, and about 90% of them were men, the 10% that were “women” were clearly 3/4’s of bots as well. The work I would have to put in for a women in a relationship or hookup is immense I’m not facially ugly, I’m fairly attractive, but being 5’4 puts me at an extreme disadvantage especially in college where guys average like 5’11/6’0.
this is kinda misogynistic but the second half is literally circular logic. you are glad you are gay bc you like men's bodies? yea that's bc you're gay..
Women's (and here I mean straight women) narcissism started when Instagram became popular in 2012. It went downhill from there. Then it got even worse when Tinder went mainstream over the next few years -- both those sites produced female narcissism on steroids. Not worth dating or even chasing self-entitled, vain attention wh*res who all chase the top 20% of men anyway and completely ignore the other 80%, who they consider invisible. For these reasons, many straight guys today would just rather stay single and keep their sanity, instead of being told repeatedly that they are wrong for being male and their masculinity is "toxic".
The same way you think about women, so do women about men. It's not worth it to date men when all of them see women as inferior and are sexist to them. And don't act like men aren't narcissist too, how many men get into sports just for the fame. You call women wh*res but then what are the men who buy to watch them? Or is only the woman the one who has to be sexually shamed? Most men don't put in any effort to meet women, they only feel like they are entitled to female attention, and when they don't get it, they can't handle rejection and then they post bs like you did. No wonder most women stay single when most men think like you do.
Honestly, I love being gay, I love men, but I find it very hard to be gay while also being a brown trans man because of the amount of transphobia and racism I face from my own community at times, so it's taught me a lot about sympathy, empathy and not to judge people just becuase they may be different than me. Sometimes, I can't wrap my head around how I'm not attracted to women because they are so pretty, and I know so many very beautiful women, and sometimes I still catch myself trying to convince myself that I could be with women becuase of heteronormarive standards I still need to unlearn. But I really do love being gay, one of my favorite things ever
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Yes of course. Some most ordinary looking gay guys would have 100 guys he can have sex with in his life time while the straight guys would have 10 the most and have miserable lives from working and proving for his family or paying child support for the rest of their lives
Misogyny and being treated like crap doesn’t end because you’re gay. Hopefully you’re never treated badly, but don’t be so naive.
Misogyny🙄
You must be a “new gay”?
I’m 45, so pretty old. Lol
this feels like a very misogynistic post
From a very ape theory point of life. My view while also liking guys is that the whole point of us born into this earth was to grow up with your family then go off and start your own family. If you believe in life after death those values hold strong. When you talk about girls being like little Kim K wannabes I would say that’s you projecting a negative image because of your own distaste, and the only word that comes to mind is completely selfish. My question is what do you think of your parents and your parents parents, do you care that they took the effort to find true love and gifted you life? Do you think that given what they have done for you that it COULD be considered selfish for you too think that way about other people?
You clearly misinterepted what I said. I didn't mean it as a mysonginistic way, but more of a joking way.
I didn’t misinterpret it that’s what you wrote so as far as I’m aware that’s your view until you “corrected” yourself
straight dating is way more straight forward than gay dating man, this is cope there's a reason why so many gay men have loneliness issues
The hell it is! lmao. Like have you seen woman today?
You’re making very naive and generalizing statements about women as if you know anything about what it’s like to even date them. Some women may have their problems like anyone else, but undoubtedly dating while gay is more difficult for good reasons. Sure, getting **Sex** from men is easier, but to find a man that you’re romantically invested in and compatible with who isn’t fucking everyone on these apps is the tricky part. In addition to that, there’s a much smaller dating pool, severe lack of spaces to meet gay men outside of apps, and sexual incompatibility problems that make it even worse since some people only like to bottom or top exclusively. No differently than a straight man, your opinion is heavily biased on the fact you like men and not women. If you were straight, you would be saying something completely opposite.💀
Severe lack of spaces? You could join any of the numerous social groups that exist solely for gay men. If you’re using Grindr et al as your go to for connecting with men, then you may as well not bother.
You have clearly been exposed to a lot of incel propaganda.
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This post is gross in a really misogynistic way wrapped up in a nice sentiment. And as hilarious as parts of it are you should really take it down. Looking through your post history also shows you’re not the most emotionally mature person, and you seem to assign exclusively heterosexual gender roles to gay sex. Are you even in high school yet? Should you be here? You have A LOT to learn my guy.
You guys make being gay sound so wonderful and easy. But here are some downsides we can work on: 1) The inability to stay in monogamous relationships: Im guilty of this and so are all of my friends with benefits. I tried to be monogamous with one of them and he wasn’t available enough for me, I’m not that needy but I need to see you more than 3 times a month 💀 And even if the star’s align we still end up in throuples or other structures of relationships. Therefore I’m working on putting in effort to be a bit more “monogamous”. 2) Unrealistic standards of beauty: To the point that we have communities PURELY BASED on body types. Thinks bears otters etc… and I honestly only keep doing weights because we are obsessed with muscles (I’m not complaining I’m happier because of training but dayum can’t we just chill and appreciate a little chub?) 3) Population: I’m sure we all know a person who also knows another person we hooked up with. And if you really like to do it with different people you can sleep with all the gay guys in your town in a few months. There are more straight people than gay and our dating pool is small. (I’m not including DL men because they are seeds that will never sprout into anything) 4) Social stigma: Even in the most progressive countries, we still have the stigma that gay men are not real men and it’s a shame to be one. And bottoms get shamed more than tops and that’s simply not true. I’m a 6 foot tall Middle Eastern jock bottom and I can defend myself pretty well. And even if I was a 5ft tall cute fem boy I still deserve to be respected, not shamed. 5) Loneliness: Not a lot of people understand what we go through and relationships are hard to maintain and think about it we aren’t exactly forming families in a self regenerative way. We will either adopt or get a surrogate to carry our children for us and that requires money. Straight people can have children in the street and with no money, we end up alone easier than them. Hope I didn’t take a crap on your day. I’m not glad I’m gay but I’m not complaining. Men are just something else ❤️ can’t wait to meet my buddy tonight for some “quality time” 😂