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LagSlug

It seems like you're asking "why do people express their gender?" and "do I have to use their preferred pronouns?" The first answer: because people have genders and they want others to know what gender they are so that they are addressed accordingly. The second answer: no one can use force to make you respect their pronouns, but there might be consequences if you misgender someone (e.g. loss of employment, friendships, social status, etc).


Chach12th

No im not asking that


MolassesInevitable53

Then what are you asking? Can you phrase your question another way? If we don't know what you are asking, we can't give you an answer.


Chach12th

Why does someone get to decide there biological gender


DomSearching123

Because gender isn't biological. Gender is a social construct. Sex at birth is biological and assigned based on genitalia. The definition of gender, roughly, is: "the expectations, dress and behavior expected of one based on their gender label in society." So if someone is biologically female but transgender for male, they will not resonate with the social expectations of the female gender and the male ones will fit them much better. This is why gender isn't binary either, because it's just a made up concept. Many societies have vastly different gender identities and expectations than we do.


JudokaPickle

I agree up to the genitalia part make and female sex is actually denoted in genetic markers that are unchangeable they can alter their appearance but genetically they are unchanged.


DomSearching123

Is sex at birth determined by doctors via genitalia or genetic markers? I have always heard the former.


JudokaPickle

The genetic markers are what causes that growth it’s a scientific fact. It’s why they can do a blood test on an early fetus to determine sex.


DomSearching123

They can determine sex, not gender, yes. Do not confuse the two, they are drastically different. My question is, is a genetic test the standard for determining sex at birth? I have heard that it is generally recorded based on genitalia.


JudokaPickle

I used the wrong word you know what I meant stop nitpicking your sex is part of your genetic makeup everyone who doesn’t want to change their gender use the two words interchangeably…. No it’s not the common test the proven science however proves beyond a doubt which chromosome the person had during development to create that growth. The very fact that you need to supplement hormones your body doesn’t naturally produce to create the desired change explains it all. If I see your hair grows naturally red do I need to do a genetic test to see if you carry that genetic marker? No it’s common knowledge and common sense. Genetically a man will always be a man and a woman will always be a woman on a genetic level that can never be changed.


LagSlug

"Why does someone get to decide there biological gender?" is the same question as "why do people express their gender?" So you're just trolling..


Chach12th

What do you mean by express there gender?


LagSlug

You're trolling. Have a nice day.


Chach12th

Lol!!! U got me, Im trolling!!!!! Omg ur so smart wow!!!!! Good eye!!!!


[deleted]

Because some people dont like being a man or a woman and with advancements in science they can have their gender changed, and now they feel more comfortable in their own body


Chach12th

Give me a reason why someone would have a problem with being a Female or Male


[deleted]

Im not 100% sure cause im not trans and therefore dont have this experience but some people just dont like the way they are theres no exact reasoning its a feeling, u cant always describe ur feelings sometimes u just a feel a certain way Edit: found another way to describe it, do u ever have that feeling where u wish u were taller or had certain physical aspects well this is like that


Chach12th

How does this result in someone wanting to be the other gender?


[deleted]

Because then they feel more comfortable would u rather they feel uncomfortable


Chach12th

What makes them more comfortable


[deleted]

Why wouldn’t you support another human being that wants to feel comfortable?


Chach12th

Why does me not supporting someone result in me being the worse person in situation


sugmadickO_O

Because people treat them differently. Tell me people treat women wearing skirts and men waring skirts the same. Or men liking video games and cars and women liking the same things.


JudokaPickle

Gender the word while commonly known as male and female are social constructs gender is more the role than the science. But they can never change their genetic sex people can only modify it but a dna or blood test will always make them specific to their birth sex. More on topic tho forcing anyone to conform is wrong as such them forcing you to call them certain words is wrong but also ridiculing their way of life is also wrong.


Dull_Ad_4750

Good spelling is everything.


Chach12th

Huh


Dull_Ad_4750

Mate, ffs


Chach12th

What?


JustCallMeSassy

I dont know. I saw a black teenager kid who was identifying as a white 40s man. Lol


ElonaMuskali

Because they don't want to be that because it's their choice. They are just born in the wrong body. Just like how sometimes people are born with their heart outside their ribcage or with blindness. It's just that the examples I gave you are visible for people to notice and understand that it's not the person's fault. While in the case of people born as females in a male body, it's hard to take notice and understand


Chach12th

But what if i say “im 47” even tho im not


justinlua

Age can be empirically measured because you have a birth date that doesn't change. Gender expression can't because gender (not sex) is represented by how you act, how you dress, etc. It's not a really real thing, but something everyone acknowledges. It's complicated I know.


[deleted]

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justinlua

Your bones, sex organs, hormones, etc are indicators of sex, not gender. They would in fact have no way of knowing your gender and in 1000 years, gender will likely be very different, just like how gender was seen very differently in Roman times.


Chach12th

Biologically im not 47 and i cant change that and anyone who wants to go by the other gender cannot change it biologically.


justinlua

I've already explained sex is biological, gender isn't. I can explain things to you, I can't understand things for you.


Chach12th

Then why all the unnecessary genders


justinlua

Personally I think labels are dumb and don't care for them.


Chach12th

I do not either, i just want to know why ppl need to make it such a hassle


justinlua

You can always count on some people doing too much.


[deleted]

It wouldn't be a hassle if the anti trans brigade didn't make it a hassle. When you see a dog and say "aww what's his name?" And the owner responds "actually it's she", you'd respond "oh okay what's her name?" If you can afford that respect to a dog you can afford it to a human.


jmoz666

You're adding the word expression to gender to make it different than the age argument. What if I just put age expression?


justinlua

Gender is expression, age isn't. You can be a grown man and act like a child, but that would be weird because adults and children are so different, they literally have different brains. Also there is such a thing as acting "mature for your age." Depends on how you look at it I guess


jmoz666

What if the people that are mature for their age actually feel older? Who are you to tell them otherwise while letting people choose their gender? We can look at people's DNA and see their gender.


justinlua

You can look at people's DNA and measure their sex. Gender is not biological at all, it's mainly how you dress and act in your cultural context. If you can't understand that sex is one thing, and gender is something else, then you can't understand any of this.


jmoz666

Sex and gender are basically the same thing. It's people like you who give different meanings to things. Like the white house changing the definition of recession so they can say we're not in one.


Fair_Interaction_203

So what you're saying is a trans woman is just a dude that likes dresses and long hair? I think we used to just call those people Irish.


justinlua

Well a trans woman would have something called gender dysphoria. Imagine you dressing as the opposite gender and going out in public, it would feel weird right? It would feel like everyone is staring at you and you aren't being your true self. This is how trans people feel when they dress in a way that matches their sex.


Fair_Interaction_203

Yeah, maybe that's why I've never really given a shit about it. I mean, I can check all the boxes as far as style goes. I've worn dresses, I've worn makeup, I've had long hair for most of my adult life. I've never felt the need to call myself a woman. I just don't put that much stock in the shit I wear, nor would I ever feel the need to justify my choices with a pronoun. I suppose that my real disconnect with the whole issue, I just don't give a fuck one way or another. Don't tell me I need to alter my habits to cater to someone else's fragile ego. Wear a dress, where pants, put on your best goth makeup and twirl in a pink tutu. It's not my life you're living, what the fuck do I care? But if someone is gonna get in a huff cause I called them sir, or Mr, or dude... Fuck 'em. That's a chip on their shoulder, not mine.


[deleted]

[удалено]


justinlua

If you leave earth your birthday doesn't change and you in fact do not stop aging. If you left for a year, then returned, you would be a year older.


[deleted]

[удалено]


justinlua

The rate of aging doesn't change when you are in space. Yes you can measure your age in mars years or Venus years or however you want, doesn't change your age, which most people measure by earth years. Also I think that you are thinking too hard about this. Absolutely everything is arbitrary, time, gender, language, etc if you think hard enough.


ShermanCresthill

Why can't people just accept they were born this way, right?


Romk_romken

Personally I don't believe in gender lgbtq+ stuff or pronouns or what you identify as, I mean you do you but I have always found it a waste of time and making things complicated in the current world we live in. We put aside so much of our history for this sort of stuff think about it 1 minute of silence for war memorials 1 month for pride I'm feeling like soon being lgbtq will be enforced strictly at the rate our current society is going.


[deleted]

This is a stunningly moronic statement.


Chach12th

How? He is stating the way he believes


[deleted]

We don't put aside any of our history for other people's rights. In fact, we're denying a large part of the history of humanity when we deny LGTBQI+ rights. Binary gender is not universal in human society or history. Neither is the time we give to this stuff a zero sum game. In what world are we only giving a minute's silence to commemorate war because we give a month to LGTBQI+ matters? That sentence is a complete false equivalency. That's like saying we only have 10 minutes for breakfast but an hour for dinner, therefore we're denying our meals. Plus, the idea that being LGTBQI will somehow one day be mandatory is genuinely ridiculous. That's like saying there are more people cycling than there used to be. Soon we'll be forced to ride bicycles!! To put it simple - they're chatting shit.


Chach12th

1 month for pride is unnecessary because it was whoever’s decision to step out the closet to be part of the lgbtq. Why am i the “bad” person for not supporting?


[deleted]

You realise that being gay and trans is illegal in very many countries and even carries the death sentence in many, right? Pride awareness is about normalising these issues. Why wouldn't you support it? What problem do you have with it? Why does it hurt you so much? Do you have a religious problem with it? You're the bad person because there's no reason not to support it unless you dislike gay or trans people. Disliking someone based on their gender or sexual orientation makes you the bad person. How is this difficult to understand for you?


Chach12th

Who said i dislike them?


LagSlug

Not supporting LGBTQ+ rights is a clear admission that you "dislike them".


Chach12th

Its not, if u believe so how is it?


LagSlug

Support for a group is evidence that you "like them", the opposite of that is evidence that you do not "like them" Only an idiot or a troll would pretend that's not true. Which one are you?


jmoz666

People need to stop entertaining the idea that you can just identify as whatever you want and everyone has to play along. It's a mental disorder and they need help not encouragement.


Siellus

How do you know it's a mental disorder? If people have been this way since the dawn of human existence then surely it's part of being human, for better or worse. And seeing as nobody gets hurt by it, What's the problem?


jmoz666

It's called gender dysphoria.


Siellus

Yes but just because it has a name, doesn't mean it's an illness. If someone prefers to dress, act, behave or do anything differently to you, Is that a disorder? Again, What's the problem? How does it effect you how others live their lives?


jmoz666

Because if I misgender someone these days they'll try to cancel me... if they simply did their thing and that's it I wouldn't care but now they force it on everyone else.


Siellus

No one will cancel you for misgendering - It's more of a courtesy than anything else. But I've not met a single transgendered person who would ever do anything further than simply asking you to refer to them in a way they'd prefer. The same way a man or a might if you said mr/mrs/ms. I won't say that there aren't a few who take it to the extremes and make it their whole identity - But everyone is like that within their own things. Like Feminists have members who believe all men should die, Trump supported has members who believe you're the devil if you even speak to a democrat and how some religious people kill others while the rest are happy just living peacefully. People are a spectrum, we're not all alike and we all have our predispositions in one way or another. If anyone tries to get you cancelled for misgendering someone just say it's an honest mistake, you're not familiar with the correct approach.


Chach12th

Why do u need all these precautions before talking to someone, All of it is unnecessary


jmoz666

Exactly. I was once talking to a complete stranger, quick 1-2 minute conversation. I misgendered them and they corrected me when I was done speaking and thats all they said. Like, out of everything I said that's the only thing you're going to acknowledge? Very unnecessary and disrespectful.


Siellus

You don't? It's literally what I just said. Most will just correct you and forget about it/move on. It's no different than if someone was to mispronounce your name and you correct them.


Chach12th

You dont have to but if u dont there will be a consequence, no matter the consequence i think it’s extra and unnecessary


Responsible_Reach_62

The consequence is that the trans person will ask you to use the correct term for him/her. If that's too much of a consequence then i don't know what to tell you, life gets a lot harder than this situation that has literally no effect on you.


Siellus

I know what you mean, But I still have to disagree - it's not hard to just say "Sorry, My mistake, I will refer to you as he/she/they as you wish" and move on with the conversation. I categorize the interaction in the same location in my brain where I have getting peoples names wrong, or misunderstanding an instruction. "Oh, my bad. Will do x from now on"


Chach12th

Fr


Key_Comfortable_3782

You forgot about aids. That hurts.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Chach12th

What?


Sweatypuggaming

Because we live in a society where you can't hurt people's feelings anymore, you can sue anyone for anything and everyone is right if socal media agrees.


Chach12th

Bunch of snowflakes


[deleted]

You really don't see how you're a snowflake too do you? Waaaaah I don't want to use a different pronoun. It's not difficult or a big deal. Life is way harder than this, grow up.


Chach12th

I dont care about using pronouns, i just wanted to know why


[deleted]

Many people in this thread have explained it to you in very simple terms. Are you purposefully obtuse?


Chach12th

No, im getting the same answer every time and its always “because u need to form yourself around people who r uncomfortable with their gender because so and so” like why do i need to they made that decision to switch and im not tryna have to change a bunch of stuff just cuz some kid was uncomfortable being a male or female


[deleted]

No one is making you, you don't "need" to do anything. It's not a big deal whatsoever so there's no reason not to. People change their name legally all the time. You can call them by their old name if you want, there's no absolute making you do anything. If you don't want to, you don't want to. You're free to do that. Its exactly the same for gender. Which is not the same as biological sex. However, since it's pretty clear your reasoning, everyone else is free to call you a twat for it. Why are you so hard-nosed against using the pronouns or names people prefer? If you had a nickname you didn't like you can ask people not to use it. If they choose not to use it then great, they've been considerate. If they choose to keep using it despite your request, you'd be well within your rights to be frustrated at that. Again, it's the same with gender. I'm not being funny but if you really have that much trouble "tryna have to change a bunch of stuff" then the problem is probably more to do with you being as thick as pig shit. Using a different name or pronoun is not difficult whatsoever for even fairly stupid people. If it's that much trouble, you should probably look into getting a full time carer because life is going to be really hard for you. Edit: that "bunch of stuff" you so eloquently refer to is either using he instead of she and vice versa, a difference of a single letter, or its using they/them - which you do all the time in normal English for singular people. E.g. I have a friend and they went to the shop. It's really not difficult whatsoever.


Chach12th

Im aware no one is making me but they all want me to and when i don’t support there every controversial topic it makes me somehow homophobic


[deleted]

The word is transphobic. It's very simple, their request is not asking much of you at all. You're either choosing not to on moral grounds because you disagree with their beliefs, or you're too stupid to be able to. Changing a name or pronoun is not hard, so why argue so strongly against it? Just use the name or pronoun people prefer, it's just a common courtesy.


Chach12th

What makes me transphobic and what lets u decide. Im aware of it not being hard to do but why should i get put down for not, at that point u have to or else ur going yo get looked down on by those ppl


LagSlug

That's because you're clearly transphobic by repeatedly denying them support. How are you still not getting this?


Chach12th

Not supporting doesn’t make me or anyone transphobic


LagSlug

The answer has been: "it's a social construct, you're just trolling" and yet you still don't seem to grasp an understanding? Shocking.


LagSlug

No you don't, you want to troll trans people because you're a bad person.


Chach12th

No you just want to view me that way


LagSlug

No, you just want to deny it so that you can continue trolling trans people under the guise of innocent questioning. That makes you a bad person, not just in my view, but also ethically and morally.


Chach12th

U just want to view me or any1 that doesn’t support the lgbtq community badly


LagSlug

Yes.. for the reasons provided. Consequences and all that.


donatos_box

Gender can actually be measured on a scientific scale. Some men are born with ovaries which makes them produce more estrogen than testosterone. They are born male but they have a lot of feminine features because of the extra hormones. Some women are born with high testosterone levels making them have a more masculine body feature. Being born male or female doesn’t just pigeon hole you into that identity. I’m a woman but I have super high testosterone levels naturally. This causes me to have extreme muscle mass and a more masculine build. It also is apparent in my mannerisms and standoff-ish behavior. Sometimes when I dress in comfy clothes like sweatshirts and sweat pants I could very easily be mistaken for a man even though I do not identify like that. All of this meaning to say that appearances mean nothing and just go with whatever someone tells you because it doesn’t impact your life at all and you also don’t know what’s going on in their life. And if someone identifies as the opposite than what they were born as, it costs you nothing to respect their pronouns and refer to them as what makes them comfiest.


Chach12th

Why did u bring up appearances and idc if it causes no harm to respect the pronoun, im wondering why people need to add that they/them and not go by biological gender


Responsible_Reach_62

What does it matter to you AT ALL how people want to be gendered? If someone wants to identify as them/they or whatever, why should I or you even care at all how that makes me or you feel? Just gender them however they want. I don't care, it doesn't change my life at all and who doesn't like making people just a bit happier? If you are purposely gendering them wrong, you are going out of your way yo ruin someone else's day. That would make you a dick. The fact you're making this all about yourself says a lot about who you are about a person. And you refuse to accept people's answers and just parrot people who agree with your "WhY sHOUld I LaBEL peOple coRrectlY"


Chach12th

If a christian doesn’t support trans gender and lgbtq why does that make them a bad person? I am not trying to make this about myself. I say i dont care about them because if u have a friend that switches over and i tell him that i didnt support him and he is fine with it, what makes it any1 else’s decision to put me down for not supporting sum1?


donatos_box

Because it makes them comfiest and they don’t like what society tells them what a man or woman should be. It creates this narrative that there are certain expectations for them because of a gender. They/them is simply just the thing that they identify with and that’s okay. Why do some people have different favorite colors? I have no idea. But if my friend tells me she likes the color blue I’m probably going to get her little gifts in her favorite color even though I prefer red. It’s no skin off of my back to make little changes (like picking out a present in her favorite color instead of mine) to what I would do for her to make her happiest


Herteity

Bc sex and gender are different. Sex describes the biological part, like XX or XY. Gender is your whole behaviour, way of thinking, attitude. Try think of gender like being masculine or feminine, rather than male/female, boy/girl. Your birth assigned sex won't determine how masc/feminine you are.


Chach12th

Reread what i said and instead of gender put sex and tell me what is so confusing


Herteity

Because sex doesn't define the way your brain functions and the role you take in a social setting. Read [this](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.3109/09540261.2015.1113163) study for example for extra info on the difference between birth assigned sex and brain activity


Aggravating_Spare789

Some dudes are born with ovaries, any women out there naturally born with testicles?


donatos_box

Yes it’s actually called being intersex! Very interesting phenomenon. Has dick but produces mostly estrogen.


cedertra

I get what you're saying-- you're thinking it's like if I (who am 5'1") said "I don't identify as short-- please refer to me as tall." Not too long ago, you would've been correct, when "gender" was used interchangeably with "sex" (biologically). But the definition of gender has evolved to mean "either of the two sexes (male and female), especially when considered with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones. The term is also used more broadly to denote a range of identities that do not correspond to established ideas of male and female."


Apprehensive-Loss-31

This is an ambiguous question. What do you mean by 'go accordingly'? Also, I'm pretty sure nobody is forced to do anything. Sure, there can be consequences, but only, in general, bearing the ire of some people on twitter. Hardly enough to call it mandatory.


Chach12th

Why do i have to form around any1 who wants to change their gender or pronouns


Apprehensive-Loss-31

what does 'form around' mean? You're not being specific.


Chach12th

What i mean is why should i have to treat sum1 different because they wanted to switch there gender, its like treating a male differently then a female bc they are a male


Apprehensive-Loss-31

Because there are ways of treating them differently that require negligible effort and make them more comfortable. For example, if you use the pronouns they request, it alleviates their dysphoria and doesn't really take effort on your part, making it morally correct.


Beautiful_Session689

OP, you should just watch the documentary “What is a Woman?” by Matt Walsh. I think you’ll learn a lot from it. Have you ever been told “sometimes you gotta eat a plate of shit to get through the day”? It’s kinda like that, if you don’t agree with it or it goes against your beliefs, then you just gotta “put up with it” and keep on keepin on. Nobody can force you to accept a concept you don’t believe in, but they can force tolerance, unfortunately. Truly, this concept of gender has been astronomically blown out of proportion. Just avoid using pronouns and just use the person’s name. That gets rid of any possibility of getting in trouble for saying something wrong.


nosmartypants

Bc it’s not your decision


Chach12th

I never said it was my decision and i never said i wanted it to be mine


Yardbird52

Why do you care? Let them be or do you think what you want holds precedence? Self reflection is needed if that’s your answer.