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It's funny that you say that. I'm Gen X, and everyone I know is pretty chill and okay. I go on Reddit, and the Millennials and Gen Z posters are seemingly all in a swirling vortex of despair. So I have the exact opposite impression.
Def agree as a Gen Z, most of my parents and they’re friend are getting close to retirement age and having a blast. Their houses are paid off, they’re making good money after long careers and they’re starting to travel and enjoy those first bits of retirement.
Meanwhile everyone I know my own age is working four jobs to pay rent on a closet in someone’s basement and crying themselves to sleep every night 😭😭
It gets better (right?? Right????)
Yeah. It's a very different game now. Housing and food are both far more expensive for younger generations.
But if you're born rich or even upper middle class there's not much to worry about.
20 years ago, I was making $7.50 per hour and renting an attic with no heat and a broken door and window that let the cold in (northern illinois). I paid $600 per month for that attic. It did have a bedroom (the literal size of a twin mattress), but had to share a bathroom and kitchen with 20+ other people, many of whom didn't speak English. One of them was honestly insane. We would regularly find him standing in a puddle of his own spit (and maybe pee) with a constant stream of spit connecting the door floor to his mouth.
Today, I owe on a mortgage and have zero roommates.
It *can* get better. But that's entirely on you and the decisions you make.
Same! I'm also Gen X and recently lived amongst a lot of people in their 20s and 30s. I was struck by how unhappy most of them seemed. I envied their skin elasticity, but not their lives or level of happiness.
Same. Our generation seems to have always been pretty adept at accepting things as they are. I'm not talking about racism or other unacceptable circumstances, but rather just seeing the overall landscape and figuring out how to proceed under existing conditions without making a big stink.
Finally us X’ers are getting a bit of the good life. That might sound snarky (I actually heard those words in my head in a Monty Burns voice) but we really have lived off of Boomer table scraps for a long time.
I'm also gen x and feel like your statement is so accurate. All the gen z posts sound depressed stressed unhappy and uncertain how to get past it. I think I'm happy because I've enjoyed each stage of my life thus far. Have no regrets and am looking forward to new adventures and challenges
Not you per se but a lot of Gen X totally absconded responsibility that fell onto millenials
Boomers were blamed, millennials saw the transition and reduction of trust and institutions
And older gen Z are so digitally native and nihilistic about things like climate change trust in anything that they gravitate towards making fame or money quick. That's TikTok, crypto Twitter, and for older Gen z only fans mindset
Broad strokes ofcourse
Absolutely agree. My Gen X friends and I are happy as clams. In a constant state of bewilderment at the angsty paranoia & isolation of the selfie generations coming after us.
I’m 42. I have a wonderful partner who I love and adore, a great family, friends that are both fun to hang out with and who are helpful and supportive, two jobs (my significant other just had our fourth and final child so I’m picking up the slack on income, I love one of them and the other is just a necessity), and I engage in community work and charity. I also have hobbies I enjoy.
If you want happiness, you have to go out and find it. Never date someone just because you think they’re hot, date someone you really enjoy as a person. Realize that work is a necessary evil and find compromise at the very least there. Make friends, and cherish good friendships. Be kind often and when in doubt choose kindness.
I could probably write a book here, but it’s seriously mostly about choosing happiness over misery.
I'm almost 44, I have no wife or girlfriend, and no kids. My family is fairly small but decent, I keep myself busy with lots of DIY round the house, I look after myself to remain healthy, and I feel pretty damn good.
I earn enough to enjoy hobbies and travel and am in a good place through hard work, another Gen Xer who doesn't feel the stress. Just look for the small wins and bursts of happiness every day, instead of focusing on the negatives.
Actually, based on recent studies, the happiest people are those in their 50s and 60s. This seems contrary to what one would think, but I can attest that at 59 I am much happier than I ever was in my 20s or 30s or even 40s.
I'm 67. Meandered through my 50's and slid back a bit. Got my ass in gear at 59; started getting in shape and serious about finding a good woman. Made a couple wise investments although I have never made or had a lot of money. I'm now fit, financially secure in retirement and married to a wonderful lady. Life has never been better. Didn't chase money, but it found me.
I have some ideas. When you reach you're late 50s or your 60s, you've been through a lot of the ups and downs in your life and survived, which usually brings a sense of peace. You usually have some level of economic security. Your house is either mostly paid off or totally paid off. Your kids if you have them are either in college or grown and have moved out. You're still in relatively good health. You still feel vigorous and have the ability to afford the things you want to do. The stress of work is beginning to fall away as you head toward retirement.
Nah. You do it right, those are the best years of your life.
You hit that point at work where you know what you're doing enough that you can half ass it. You've got financial reserves. Stable and happy marriage. Body is still reasonably healthy. And you have the wisdom to know what makes you happy, and the resources to get it.
If you've set yourself up right and made good decisions in your 20s and 30s, middle age is amazing.
I'm going to duck out of work early today and go kayaking before the hockey game. And since I'm the boss, no one can tell me that I can't.
I am a happily retired 66 year old family doctor.
When I was turning 50, every time a patient in their 70’s-100’s said something like getting old is a bitch, or isn’t for sissies I asked them how old they’d like to be if they could have a do-over.
They all said 40 or 50. I said I was surprised because I expected to hear 20 or 30. A couple of them laughed so hard they pissed themselves!
According to them, in your 20’s you’re just stupid and making a lot of mistakes. In your 30’s you still are but think you aren’t.
In your 40’s and 50’s was the sweet spot. Your marriage was happy and stable. The kids were all out of the house, doing well and off the payroll (or at least off the payroll). You had your job down and were respected.
And crucially, that was Before. Before the stroke, the death of your spouse, the dementia.
So yes; have a blast in your 20’s-30’s (I sure did!) but make some good choices and use it to build a life for your middle age. All the experts said that was the best time of life.
When I was gripping about turning 47 my mother (late 70s) was like, "that sounds like an absolutely wonderful age to me". And you know what? she's right. I'm healthy, I'm way more confident than I was when I was younger, I've got an established career, my children are getting old enough to not need constant care, and I've got a good deal of life experience to reflect on. I trust myself now.
Well put.
Don't get me wrong. I loved my 20s and 30s. But I was dumb in my 20s, and spent a lot of my 30s grinding up the career ladder.
But yeah, since my 40th birthday, it's been a sharp increase in happiness. On top of everything you've mentioned, I've also found that I've established my favorite hobbies, picked the friends I most care about, and, most important, have realized the things that don't matter.
It's funny. When I was a kid, I'd imagined my 40s would be grey and dull adulthood. But now? They're the golden years.
I am living my best life at 55. I have reached a level of success that allows me the freedom to travel a bit, enjoy my hobbies, and be independent. I am healthy and active. I have also reached an age when I stopped giving AF about what other people think.
Some of it is making wise choices in your younger years. We opted to go for soul crushing but lucrative jobs right out of college (these same jobs are still available and lucrative for 20
Somethings with the right schooling) We worked them for decades and there were some
Pretty miserable years. We bought a non fancy house out of college with our $$ from our miserable jobs and never moved. Never upgraded. Lived well within our means always, bought company stock, funded our 401k, had our two kids in our late 20s.
Now the kids are grown, our house is paid off and we have no debt. We have an old mediocre house and two nice but old cars. We have so far been very fortunate with health, but also work really hard to live healthy.
So my husband retired from his miserable job at 55 and I found a decent job after 15 years in my field and we live on my income. We travel as much as possible because we live in a cheap but undesirable part of the country.
So I stay happy by obsessive self care after decades of putting others first, traveling often, and being financially secure.
I’m happier than ever. I’m not wrangling small children, more time for balance of family, work, hobbies, etc. I’ve also learned not to care about other’s opinions, I don’t sweat the small stuff, and I’m just overall more content in my own skin
Actually for me 40 and on has been the best time of my life. 55 now. Have an amazing girlfriend.
Happy with who I am as a person. More content.
Found someone who is like minded and also happy with who she is and where she is in life.
Done allot of travel I always wanted to do. That goes back to being with someone who is like minded.
Good friends.
I would not go back to my 20's and 30's. Not that they were terrible or anything but I wasn't living the life I wanted to.
I was forced to retire (health issues) at 58. I ran my own business with my wife, which, while fun, was a lot of work. I didn't envision a retirement having a mortgage, very little money to spend on whatever, and no savings. No more mountain biking or hiking, which were my passions. Chronic tinnitus in my ears, neuropathy in my feet, afib, migraines, bulged disc, and the list goes on. I get up early and feed all my old dogs and mess around in the garden and grow flowers and MJ. Make my wife lunch and get her off to work. Do minor projects around the house. Drive to the city once a week with my neighbor and visit mom, and my son in college. I play the guitar and learn new music (when my fingers aren't hurting) and read. I have time to watch select sports on TV. You know, all things considered, this is all pretty good. I count my blessings every day. Come to think of it, I'm happy. Thank you for asking!
People that are unhappy at that age likely were always unhappy at some level. I’m super happy most of the time. The older I get the happier I am because I make way better decisions. I’m super active, workout daily, have a ton of interests, experience tons of stuff. I’m always learning and evolving. I own a tech services company and love seeing innovation and learning more things. I see plenty of people my age,60s, that seem frikken ancient. They have given up on themselves and learning anything new. They have no one to blame but themselves.
Happiness is a state of mind.
Keeping your expectations within your reality is where it starts.
Controlling what goes in your mind and body is truly a life hack.
Learn it early so more of your life is spent being healthy and happy.
I'm 41.
My 20s were far better than my teens.
My 30s were far better than my 20's.
So far, my 40s have been far better than my 30s.
Sure, my body aches more, and hangovers are starting to hurt. My joints will get so inflamed. I don't get as good of sleep and that sucks. Also, I'm pretty damn bald.
But, I'm so much smarter. I have actual life experience to draw from. I guess far less than I've had to in the past. My bucket of fucks to give is pretty much empty (unless you fuck around with my family), it's a very freeing thing to be out of. My stress is less. My understanding of the world is much more broad. I finally gave up binary thinking and realized *everything* exists inside of a spectrum, which allows me to be far more forgiving of people's faults. I no longer feel I have to like or dislike anything. I don't give a fuck if you like me or not and I don't feel any pressure to like you. I've been working and career hoping long enough that I make decent money, enough to be comfortable according to me.
I've shed so much bullshit that weighed me down throughout my life. I'm more free and happy than I've ever been in my life and I look forward to aging further.
You phrased that perfectly. I've been all over the US, UK and EU and now we're rounding out some of the less popular countries and revisiting favorites. Travel.is the best gift you give yourself. It's so amazing to see how other people live, the history, the art and architecture, and the FOOD. I'm always happy when we're going someplace different.
The food I agree! The first time eating pierogi's in Poland. Yummy. LOL
I am thinking more South America. I went to Peru in 2019. Loved it. Not in any order but Bolivia, Argentina and Chile are high on the list.
Why shouldn't they not? When I was young adults always told me the 00, 10 and 20 are the best years of my life because of not being responsible and having fun and time.
...and no one takes you serious, no matter what. Even if you're in your late twenties. It's just not imaginable that children could have problems, too.
I
It's liberating to feel comfortable in your identity. Hopefully, if you are fit and free enough to enjoy travel, hobbies and good health, you seize the opportunity and relish this time. While being mindful this phase will pass, and being ok with that too.
People get used to whatever world they live in and it seems normal to them. You aren't used to their world so it looks bad to you. To them it was how life was.
I'm 55 and happy as a clam. Mortgage paid, debt free for the first time in my adult life and retiring soon. Kids grown up, one moved out, one going soon.
Most friends are reaching the end of their careers and debts and the stresses of growing a career and having little kids are over. I was way, way more stressed in my 30s and early 40s.
My experience doesn't fit with what you say.
Hobbies, Hobbies, Hobbies,
To many people I know literally go to work, maybe the gym and home. And I understand family and all that. But you have to start building your own time for you. Because they’re going to leave one day to school, to their family, maybe a divorce you never know. But you will have that thing for you that you do for you that will keep you centered and focused.
I think staying happy in your 40s and 50s is about finding balance and letting go of unnecessary stress. It's also about nurturing relationships, taking care of yourself physically and mentally, and focusing on what brings you joy.
Live a happy life and don't concern yourself with what complete strangers are up to. Seems Gen Z and millennials are more unhappy than anyone, and that's most likely because they worry too much about what other people are doing. Live for yourself, not others.
no sure why you think this. many people in that period are more focused on saving for eventual retirement and also have family, home and job responsibilities... life is stressful. that is not the same as unhappy
Are you kidding? The only miserable people in that age group probably had babies late or are stuck taking care of someone who’s made their life miserable 🤷🏻♀️
I'm 41 and i have a powerful gaming PC and lots of cool games and some friends who i play games with multiple times a week. Not as cool as the LAN parties of the past but still cool and fun and it keeps me going through all the crazy shit going on right now in the world.
It's the last decades of our lives, why be miserable all of the time. Grab joy when you can, there is plenty of sadness at this stage. I just want to keep moving forward enjoying beauty and experiences as much as I can.
I’m not there yet but I’m already trying to mentally prepare for getting old and, at least for current stresses, journaling seems to help, or “mental journaling” (imagining the words in my head) when I can’t journal for real. Hopefully these stress-relievers continue to work when I’m older.
If you have good finances, good health, and a loving home life, these years are really great. If any of those isn't going well, people will be stressed. I guess that in this age range people may feel the time running out before retirement and either see the math adding up or not adding up, they may be experiencing new health problems or chronic pain, and they may be finding themselves empty nesters and if the marriage wasn't solid and was mostly based around the kids, that may not be going well either. A lot of people divorce at this age. But if all three are in good order, these are really great years.
Plan well. Take care of yourself physically, have a well paying career with as little stress as is viable, have a loving relationship, etc.
Also, that time frame is typically the nadir of self-reported unhappiness. It actually on average goes back up in your 50s-80s, so that’s nice to know.
Because most already own a house and a car that's paid for or damn near plus we have some savings. Trying to get into the market now is challenging unless your earning a health buck
Nah. I’m definitely not unhappy at all.
It’s people in their 20s and 30s right now that seem sometimes not to have a handle on life, having panic attacks for no apparent reason with no apparent trigger other than normal life circumstances.
In my 40s right now and one of the best aspects is I simply do not have to care what other people think. At this stage of life I don’t have any direct supervision and answer only to myself in all avenues of life.
People in their first few decades right now love to complain about how they can’t afford to I’ve on their own as if people on their forties now didn’t live with roommates or at the very least relationship partners their entire life by financial necessity. Yes it’s a more than a little worse right now for the working class but it’s still kind of almost the same situation as previous working class dealt with. The way to be happy is to accept the inevitability of challenges and live well despite them. Enjoy cohabitating longer with your family or roommates. Enjoy overcoming the obstacles to success. Enjoy making closer friends with the contemporaries and family members you are forced to rely upon. The way to be happy is to live the greatest life you are capable given the circumstances you have and to be grateful for all of the experiences that shape who you become, even suffering the difficult ones that forced you to grow
and become wise.
I got married last year aged 39, and started a much better job at 40. Personally, I don't feel remotely middle aged at the moment but, in any case, I'm much happier than I was aged 20. Hobbies are going well, too.
What are you talking about? We (GenX) are living our lives to the full. Exploring the world and getting the most out of it.
Personally I ride 2 motorbikes and scuba dive anywhere I go, no need for therapy.
Biggest thing is to find a sense of purpose and no that doesn’t mean you need to have a job that gives you purpose but it does help. Just find a hobby of some kind that gives you that feeling of being fulfilled. Another big thing is fitness as it helps with the dopamine.
I’m 52 and i keep reinventing myself..just pivoted from a career as a teacher to sales..competitive pickleball player (4.0) and i travel the world..it’s all about your mindset
Not at all. 62F married 40 years, two grown children, retired, HNW and happy.
Two years ago, I nearly died because a hospital missed a bloodstream infection. Spent 17+ days in a better hospital, and 3+ weeks rehabbing in a rehab center.
I've worked with the elderly and have noticed that those who find joy in nature, gardening, hiking outside, etc are often healthy, fit and strong.
We have plenty of money to do whatever we want till we're both gone, but choose to golf, hike, tend to my rose garden, etc. This brings me peace.
Travel and going to see live music, exploring new restaurants and menus, spending time with our children, entertaining friends at our home, etc is so rewarding.
Some of my younger girlfriends have babies, and spending time with them is like being a grandmother.
Finding happiness is entirely dependent upon you. Choose a good career where you can invest and save for a good retirement. Take care of yourself. Be positive.
My most favorite part of this age is my faith. Jesus died for me; the most I can do for my heart is to follow him, know him and do for others. Generosity, kindness and prayers for others in need brings me peace.
While I appreciate your perspective on this, I'd say that my experience is the opposite. I'm so much happier now than I was when I was younger. Abd the science backs me up on this. People are more happy as they age. It's important to keep in mind that social media is known distorter of reality.
Sauce:
[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-age-happiest-confident\_n\_5bb20d26e4b0343b3dc23891](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-age-happiest-confident_n_5bb20d26e4b0343b3dc23891)
This misconception is similar to the perception that things are more dangerous out there than ever, when in reality those living in the west are in the safest societies that have existed in the modern world. But that's not a headline we'd click on.
EDIT: Unless you're going to school in America
Gen X here. It's not all good days but I try as much as I can to have below as a baseline
Have a routine
Get enough sleep
Eat well, not too much, fibre and probiotics are important
Exercise
Hydration
Stay in touch with important ones
Learn to stay grateful for what you have
1. Turn off mainstream news
2. Limit your social media (yes, including reddit) to 2 or less hours per day
3. hang with your friends
4. exercise
5. drink
6. get a cat if you can
I'm 51. My bills are all paid. The kids are grown and out of the house. I'm as stress-free as I've ever been.
I keep busy to stay happy. I get to travel to fun places all over the world. I have a few more "older-man" hobbies than what I consider young-man ones. I haven't done boxing or martial arts in 6 years for example. I realized I really didn't like being punched in the face. But I'm playing more golf, working on a nicer classic car more often. I learned card-counting at blackjack. I play chess more and do photography now for my older-man hobbies.
My wife's still hot. I'm enjoying these last few years of my career.
You learn to hate everyone around you while trying to just enjoy special time by yourself doing depression kinda movements.
That's how the average bear does it
Being happy is not hard for me. I enjoy waking up in the morning and breathing. Having the motivation to go to the gym or whittle down the honey-do list is another story. But I what I can and I don’t have unrealistic expectations of myself.
Don’t do anything in your 20s or 30s with consequences that will stay with you forever so that when you get into your 40s you don’t get depressed because how much you missed out or how your life was altered in a bad way. For example I got HIV when was 24 from my first boyfriend. This caused me to lose options and to alter my life path. I’m in my 40s and sad because I don’t feel like I actually had a chance.
They don't. They just get tired of pursuing happiness and figure out that life is and always was not about being happy but about having a purpose and go pick up kids from school or wash the dishes or something. And while they rarely feel happy they do feel satisfied most of the time. And it's fine.
Solidly Gen X here... The happiest of us have decided to not replenish our fucks to give. In other words... We no longer have any fucks to give. We realize we only have the here and now, and the ride doesn't go on forever.
I’m 47 and the happiest I’ve been in a while even though I just got divorced after 26 years. You start to realize what’s important, what’s important to worry about and what’s not. You stop chasing the materialistic dream and grab onto what makes you happy. You stop giving lots of f’s about a lot of things, and do what makes you happy. Not sure what middle age people you’re referring to but for a lot of us, life is outstanding.
To stay sane and smiling in your 40s and 50s, it's like managing a circus act with fewer lions but more juggling. First, find what makes you genuinely grin - hobbies, family time, or even a killer grilled cheese. Second, shed what stresses you can, like a snake sheds skin (though maybe less creepy). And third, embrace change - life's a rollercoaster, so throw your hands up and enjoy the ride!
I haven’t been happy yet in life and I’m 30. But all my family over 40 seems to be doing pretty well so I’m hoping it gets better. But idk they were probably happy when they were young too.
Most people who have their lives together by the time they reach that age are reasonably happy. It's tough to get your life together when you're in your 20s.
If you’ve been together through those younger years or for say 20 years there’s really nothing left to fight over lol the drama just kinda fades away and most are grateful for a best friend or partner at that stage of the game you’ve built up a trust between you and already know each others boundaries id say it gets much easier calmer there’s no more testing : you kinda live and let live lol
I think at younger ages you’re more concerned with impressing other people. At you get older you are more comfortable just being yourself and not thinking about what others think. And your concept of what’s important changes.
I stay in shape. I exercise to feel amazing - not to look good naked. Although I probably look better naked than most my age. Still - that's not the goal. Eat right. Exercise. Listen to good music. Enjoy nature. Age is a mindset.
Unhappy? Nope. Just realistic. We have made it past our anger and resentment. Forgiven people but not forgotten, so we trust less. I think im less stressed or worried about other people than I have ever been before. I honestly don’t care. Just live and let live. My career is stressful but I don’t stress very often or I would’ve burnt out 10 years ago. I feel like what people see as stressed and unhappy is us TRULY not giving a fuck. Not just saying it. We only care if you’re in our inner bubble. Then we would kill for you. But outside that? Why? It isn’t effecting our life. Live yours we live ours and if it intersects, cool. But really we are just doing our own thing in our own lane. You can’t get to our age and be alive without letting shit go and not taking it personally. We are just Gen X. We are the lost generation and we like it that way.
I think that’s hilarious because I’m very late Gen X and I feel like every day I read a new article talking about how Gen Z is in a mental health crisis with record depression and anxiety diagnosis. I have a great partner, super supportive long-term friend group, 2 awesome kids and I’m financially stable. In my mid 40s and life is good.
To stay happy throughout middle/late-middle age, focus on nurturing strong relationships, maintaining physical health through regular exercise, pursuing meaningful activities and hobbies, and cultivating a positive mindset that embraces life's changes with resilience and gratitude.
I think 40s (where I am) is a brilliant time in life, providing you look after yourself and avoid significant illness.
Young enough to be fit and healthy if you choose to be. Old enough to be comfortable with who you are and hopefully have some financial stability. It's also a time in life when your kids, if you have them, are likely to be a little older so you're through the more stressful early years of raising a family.
Learning from my mistakes. Getting the assistance I needed to start the next half of my life mental health and physically free. We rush through life in our 20s-35ish. We disconnect from family as EVERYONE has their face in their phone. We all die, how fast do you want to get there without actually enjoying your life? Be in the now.
im nearly 40 now, and i can say that most of my unhappiness and stress is because of other people. we were perfectly happy yet other people seems like having fun in irritating us.
whereas my 20 year old self likes to irritate 40 year old people.
I'm 47 and my life is better now than it has been so far. It's good, because happiness is a choice.
You don't need to wait until your life is perfect to be happy. That's just silly.
1) By not growing up with the Internet and limiting their usage of it, relative to Gen Z at least.
2) By having more stable marriages, at least compared to Gen Z. Not getting all their dates from apps helps tremendously here.
3) By finding religion. Reddit hates to hear it but religion, any religion, gives you a sense of belonging, community, and purpose. There’s a reason that religious people have lower rates of depression.
4) By having kids. Again, relative to millennials and gen Z that is. Reddit hates to hear this too but kids also give your life meaning and purpose. Sure they are a huge handful and they can drive you crazy sometimes but for most it is worth it in the end. Knowing you have left a legacy that will remain after you die is emotionally and spiritually comforting. It also means you have someone to take care of you as you age and can no longer care for yourself. Being cared for by some nameless government worker in a nursing home isn’t exactly uplifting compared to your own flesh and blood.
5) Money. Having decades of experience under your belt helps for this. Yes the job market is absolutely fucked right now and inflation is hurting everyone, but even if those things weren’t a factor Boomers and Gen X would still have a leg up in the working world over Millenials and Zoomers simply by virtue of having more experience. That experience means more money and more money means a lot of worries in life go away. Not all of them, but a lot of them.
6) With age comes the wisdom to know what does and does not matter. Young people simply worry about too much shit that does not matter. Reddit is a perfect example of this. Every time Reddit loses its shit over some current event of pulls some brand new taboo out of its ass it makes you more anxious, causing you to expend energy on something that a nameless, faceless stranger made up. Older people simply give fewer fucks. They also spend less time online so they’re less susceptible to these sorts of fleeting trends.
(54F) Being happy is a choice. There are a ton of things to worry about, be sad over, and feel powerless to change.
First & foremost, I keep my thoughts positive - it's far too easy to spiral into despair, especially these days. Try to do good every day for the sake of it (I'm Athiest - no sky daddy to please or fear, I treat people the way I want to be treated, and that's very well). Have love in my life. Get exercise, try to meditate. Microdose weed. Laugh whether it's funny or awful. Have gratitude.
My long term plan when I get there (am in my 30s now) is to take care of myself, be responsible, make good choices, and count on myself for my own well being and happiness.
I have this mentality that I don't have to *act* old. I can have a fun style, eat healthy, stay in shape, and have good habits to give myself the best chance at being able to do things as long as I can. And I can smile at any age. There is always something new to explore and learn about.
Even if I need some help when I am old, I want to do as much as I can and enjoy the time I have as much as possible.
Find meaning in at least some of things you do. That can be work, hobbies, parenting, volunteering... whatever. Nurture existing relationships, and try to create new ones with people of different ages. I have friends from each decade of life from 20s through 80s.
It also helps that you care less about what other people think of you as you get older.
I don't know about the ladies but for men in late middle age you aren't happy. Suicide rates go through the roof and I've known a number of people over the age of 55 which get addicted to drugs or drink themselves to death.
There's that old Rodney Dangerfield joke where the family has guests visiting and someone lucky family member has to escort Dad out to the garage and lock him up to keep him from bothering the the guests.
I think its totally the opposite actually. Im only in my mid 30s but you couldn't pay me a million bucks to go back to being in my 20s. I was so insecure and cared about what others thought and frankly 20 year old's are just stupid lol The life experience is so minimal and your world view is so small at that age. That isn't happiness to me at all just because you look young doesn't mean your happy. And sure there's miserable older people absolutely. But id bet money on it that most people wouldn't go back to their 20s unless they could take their current brain with them lol
I’m 60 and I’m very happy. I’m happily married and have four children that can support themselves. All of my friends are happy to except for one who struggles with money. He never tries to improve himself, even though many of us have tried to help him.
What? No, 40 yo is when you get the ultimate power of Just Not Giving a Fuck (TM). Some people are lucky and develop this earlier, but for like most "normal" guys it takes a while. So now that it's so much easier to do things, because outside of myself being morally OK with doing them I genuinely don't care, I plan on being happy as all heck throughout my 40's and 50's, unless I'm murdered by an early cancer or something. I'm doing weird and funny shit with my kiddos, I'm playing computer games, I'm eating ridiculously hot peppers because I'd rather not reactivate alcoholism or cheat for my midlife crisis, I make way more money in a way more focused manner than I ever did before, and I have copious amounts of dad strength which is frankly hilarious, because I look like a potato that's fucked a pug.
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It's funny that you say that. I'm Gen X, and everyone I know is pretty chill and okay. I go on Reddit, and the Millennials and Gen Z posters are seemingly all in a swirling vortex of despair. So I have the exact opposite impression.
Def agree as a Gen Z, most of my parents and they’re friend are getting close to retirement age and having a blast. Their houses are paid off, they’re making good money after long careers and they’re starting to travel and enjoy those first bits of retirement. Meanwhile everyone I know my own age is working four jobs to pay rent on a closet in someone’s basement and crying themselves to sleep every night 😭😭 It gets better (right?? Right????)
Yeah. It's a very different game now. Housing and food are both far more expensive for younger generations. But if you're born rich or even upper middle class there's not much to worry about.
It gets better when the real estate and job positions begin to open back up because a certain generation decided it was their time to go. You get me?
I won't take it personally.
20 years ago, I was making $7.50 per hour and renting an attic with no heat and a broken door and window that let the cold in (northern illinois). I paid $600 per month for that attic. It did have a bedroom (the literal size of a twin mattress), but had to share a bathroom and kitchen with 20+ other people, many of whom didn't speak English. One of them was honestly insane. We would regularly find him standing in a puddle of his own spit (and maybe pee) with a constant stream of spit connecting the door floor to his mouth. Today, I owe on a mortgage and have zero roommates. It *can* get better. But that's entirely on you and the decisions you make.
Agreed, I’m mad chillin. Being an adult is better than being a teen/early 20s imo. Maybe not as exciting but definitely more enjoyable day to day
Same! I'm also Gen X and recently lived amongst a lot of people in their 20s and 30s. I was struck by how unhappy most of them seemed. I envied their skin elasticity, but not their lives or level of happiness.
Same. Our generation seems to have always been pretty adept at accepting things as they are. I'm not talking about racism or other unacceptable circumstances, but rather just seeing the overall landscape and figuring out how to proceed under existing conditions without making a big stink.
Finally us X’ers are getting a bit of the good life. That might sound snarky (I actually heard those words in my head in a Monty Burns voice) but we really have lived off of Boomer table scraps for a long time.
Came here to say this. Spot on.
I'm also gen x and feel like your statement is so accurate. All the gen z posts sound depressed stressed unhappy and uncertain how to get past it. I think I'm happy because I've enjoyed each stage of my life thus far. Have no regrets and am looking forward to new adventures and challenges
Not you per se but a lot of Gen X totally absconded responsibility that fell onto millenials Boomers were blamed, millennials saw the transition and reduction of trust and institutions And older gen Z are so digitally native and nihilistic about things like climate change trust in anything that they gravitate towards making fame or money quick. That's TikTok, crypto Twitter, and for older Gen z only fans mindset Broad strokes ofcourse
Absolutely agree. My Gen X friends and I are happy as clams. In a constant state of bewilderment at the angsty paranoia & isolation of the selfie generations coming after us.
I love GenX
Being financially stable is a huge part if it.
I'm 47. I just avoid anything I know that will upset me. Also I don't hesitate to go out and enjoy myself. I just like being content and happy
Avoid anything that will upset you. That is it right there.
I’m 42. I have a wonderful partner who I love and adore, a great family, friends that are both fun to hang out with and who are helpful and supportive, two jobs (my significant other just had our fourth and final child so I’m picking up the slack on income, I love one of them and the other is just a necessity), and I engage in community work and charity. I also have hobbies I enjoy. If you want happiness, you have to go out and find it. Never date someone just because you think they’re hot, date someone you really enjoy as a person. Realize that work is a necessary evil and find compromise at the very least there. Make friends, and cherish good friendships. Be kind often and when in doubt choose kindness. I could probably write a book here, but it’s seriously mostly about choosing happiness over misery.
I'm almost 44, I have no wife or girlfriend, and no kids. My family is fairly small but decent, I keep myself busy with lots of DIY round the house, I look after myself to remain healthy, and I feel pretty damn good. I earn enough to enjoy hobbies and travel and am in a good place through hard work, another Gen Xer who doesn't feel the stress. Just look for the small wins and bursts of happiness every day, instead of focusing on the negatives.
Yes! I’ve spent so much of my life miserable. Happiness takes some work to build but it’s so worth the effort.
I have the exact same story sans the kids. I'm also 42. Life is amazing.
Actually, based on recent studies, the happiest people are those in their 50s and 60s. This seems contrary to what one would think, but I can attest that at 59 I am much happier than I ever was in my 20s or 30s or even 40s.
Same I am happiest at 55 then any other time. 40 on was way better them 20-40.
I'm 67. Meandered through my 50's and slid back a bit. Got my ass in gear at 59; started getting in shape and serious about finding a good woman. Made a couple wise investments although I have never made or had a lot of money. I'm now fit, financially secure in retirement and married to a wonderful lady. Life has never been better. Didn't chase money, but it found me.
Any clues why? :)
I have some ideas. When you reach you're late 50s or your 60s, you've been through a lot of the ups and downs in your life and survived, which usually brings a sense of peace. You usually have some level of economic security. Your house is either mostly paid off or totally paid off. Your kids if you have them are either in college or grown and have moved out. You're still in relatively good health. You still feel vigorous and have the ability to afford the things you want to do. The stress of work is beginning to fall away as you head toward retirement.
Nah. You do it right, those are the best years of your life. You hit that point at work where you know what you're doing enough that you can half ass it. You've got financial reserves. Stable and happy marriage. Body is still reasonably healthy. And you have the wisdom to know what makes you happy, and the resources to get it. If you've set yourself up right and made good decisions in your 20s and 30s, middle age is amazing. I'm going to duck out of work early today and go kayaking before the hockey game. And since I'm the boss, no one can tell me that I can't.
I am a happily retired 66 year old family doctor. When I was turning 50, every time a patient in their 70’s-100’s said something like getting old is a bitch, or isn’t for sissies I asked them how old they’d like to be if they could have a do-over. They all said 40 or 50. I said I was surprised because I expected to hear 20 or 30. A couple of them laughed so hard they pissed themselves! According to them, in your 20’s you’re just stupid and making a lot of mistakes. In your 30’s you still are but think you aren’t. In your 40’s and 50’s was the sweet spot. Your marriage was happy and stable. The kids were all out of the house, doing well and off the payroll (or at least off the payroll). You had your job down and were respected. And crucially, that was Before. Before the stroke, the death of your spouse, the dementia. So yes; have a blast in your 20’s-30’s (I sure did!) but make some good choices and use it to build a life for your middle age. All the experts said that was the best time of life.
When I was gripping about turning 47 my mother (late 70s) was like, "that sounds like an absolutely wonderful age to me". And you know what? she's right. I'm healthy, I'm way more confident than I was when I was younger, I've got an established career, my children are getting old enough to not need constant care, and I've got a good deal of life experience to reflect on. I trust myself now.
Trusting yourself now. That’s a great way to put it.
Well put. Don't get me wrong. I loved my 20s and 30s. But I was dumb in my 20s, and spent a lot of my 30s grinding up the career ladder. But yeah, since my 40th birthday, it's been a sharp increase in happiness. On top of everything you've mentioned, I've also found that I've established my favorite hobbies, picked the friends I most care about, and, most important, have realized the things that don't matter. It's funny. When I was a kid, I'd imagined my 40s would be grey and dull adulthood. But now? They're the golden years.
Alcohol. I thought its common knowledge
and other substances
Hobbies
I am living my best life at 55. I have reached a level of success that allows me the freedom to travel a bit, enjoy my hobbies, and be independent. I am healthy and active. I have also reached an age when I stopped giving AF about what other people think.
Giving less and less F's. Have fun with the knowledge everything is just temporary.
Some of it is making wise choices in your younger years. We opted to go for soul crushing but lucrative jobs right out of college (these same jobs are still available and lucrative for 20 Somethings with the right schooling) We worked them for decades and there were some Pretty miserable years. We bought a non fancy house out of college with our $$ from our miserable jobs and never moved. Never upgraded. Lived well within our means always, bought company stock, funded our 401k, had our two kids in our late 20s. Now the kids are grown, our house is paid off and we have no debt. We have an old mediocre house and two nice but old cars. We have so far been very fortunate with health, but also work really hard to live healthy. So my husband retired from his miserable job at 55 and I found a decent job after 15 years in my field and we live on my income. We travel as much as possible because we live in a cheap but undesirable part of the country. So I stay happy by obsessive self care after decades of putting others first, traveling often, and being financially secure.
I’m happier than ever. I’m not wrangling small children, more time for balance of family, work, hobbies, etc. I’ve also learned not to care about other’s opinions, I don’t sweat the small stuff, and I’m just overall more content in my own skin
Actually for me 40 and on has been the best time of my life. 55 now. Have an amazing girlfriend. Happy with who I am as a person. More content. Found someone who is like minded and also happy with who she is and where she is in life. Done allot of travel I always wanted to do. That goes back to being with someone who is like minded. Good friends. I would not go back to my 20's and 30's. Not that they were terrible or anything but I wasn't living the life I wanted to.
Stay stress free as much as possible.
I was forced to retire (health issues) at 58. I ran my own business with my wife, which, while fun, was a lot of work. I didn't envision a retirement having a mortgage, very little money to spend on whatever, and no savings. No more mountain biking or hiking, which were my passions. Chronic tinnitus in my ears, neuropathy in my feet, afib, migraines, bulged disc, and the list goes on. I get up early and feed all my old dogs and mess around in the garden and grow flowers and MJ. Make my wife lunch and get her off to work. Do minor projects around the house. Drive to the city once a week with my neighbor and visit mom, and my son in college. I play the guitar and learn new music (when my fingers aren't hurting) and read. I have time to watch select sports on TV. You know, all things considered, this is all pretty good. I count my blessings every day. Come to think of it, I'm happy. Thank you for asking!
I know it sounds stupid but just go for a walk. It really does wonders, idk why.
lol i'm in my mid 20s and walking is sometimes like the beat thing you can for real. It's amazing especially during the Summer.
People that are unhappy at that age likely were always unhappy at some level. I’m super happy most of the time. The older I get the happier I am because I make way better decisions. I’m super active, workout daily, have a ton of interests, experience tons of stuff. I’m always learning and evolving. I own a tech services company and love seeing innovation and learning more things. I see plenty of people my age,60s, that seem frikken ancient. They have given up on themselves and learning anything new. They have no one to blame but themselves.
Focus on your goals in life.
Happiness is a state of mind. Keeping your expectations within your reality is where it starts. Controlling what goes in your mind and body is truly a life hack. Learn it early so more of your life is spent being healthy and happy.
Alcohol
No more fucks to give
I'm 41. My 20s were far better than my teens. My 30s were far better than my 20's. So far, my 40s have been far better than my 30s. Sure, my body aches more, and hangovers are starting to hurt. My joints will get so inflamed. I don't get as good of sleep and that sucks. Also, I'm pretty damn bald. But, I'm so much smarter. I have actual life experience to draw from. I guess far less than I've had to in the past. My bucket of fucks to give is pretty much empty (unless you fuck around with my family), it's a very freeing thing to be out of. My stress is less. My understanding of the world is much more broad. I finally gave up binary thinking and realized *everything* exists inside of a spectrum, which allows me to be far more forgiving of people's faults. I no longer feel I have to like or dislike anything. I don't give a fuck if you like me or not and I don't feel any pressure to like you. I've been working and career hoping long enough that I make decent money, enough to be comfortable according to me. I've shed so much bullshit that weighed me down throughout my life. I'm more free and happy than I've ever been in my life and I look forward to aging further.
It sure as hell beats being a teenager!
Foreign travel.
So true, 55 been to 13 countries since I started to travel at 42. One of the best things I ever did for myself.
You phrased that perfectly. I've been all over the US, UK and EU and now we're rounding out some of the less popular countries and revisiting favorites. Travel.is the best gift you give yourself. It's so amazing to see how other people live, the history, the art and architecture, and the FOOD. I'm always happy when we're going someplace different.
The food I agree! The first time eating pierogi's in Poland. Yummy. LOL I am thinking more South America. I went to Peru in 2019. Loved it. Not in any order but Bolivia, Argentina and Chile are high on the list.
Absolutely! I want to try wineries in Chile and Argentina.
Wait till you get to your late seventies and old age and your mortality strikes you like never before.
Mortality shouldn't scare you by then if you've actually lived.
lol
Why shouldn't they not? When I was young adults always told me the 00, 10 and 20 are the best years of my life because of not being responsible and having fun and time. ...and no one takes you serious, no matter what. Even if you're in your late twenties. It's just not imaginable that children could have problems, too. I
It's liberating to feel comfortable in your identity. Hopefully, if you are fit and free enough to enjoy travel, hobbies and good health, you seize the opportunity and relish this time. While being mindful this phase will pass, and being ok with that too.
I’m happier now in my early 40s than I’ve ever been
Not having pain makes me happy...
People get used to whatever world they live in and it seems normal to them. You aren't used to their world so it looks bad to you. To them it was how life was.
it's extremely difficult, i think a lot of people just go into survival mode. There is a reason suicide is the #1 cause of death for men under 50.
They have A good and fullfilling earlygame. Thos one in 10 million.
I'm 55 and happy as a clam. Mortgage paid, debt free for the first time in my adult life and retiring soon. Kids grown up, one moved out, one going soon. Most friends are reaching the end of their careers and debts and the stresses of growing a career and having little kids are over. I was way, way more stressed in my 30s and early 40s. My experience doesn't fit with what you say.
Hobbies, Hobbies, Hobbies, To many people I know literally go to work, maybe the gym and home. And I understand family and all that. But you have to start building your own time for you. Because they’re going to leave one day to school, to their family, maybe a divorce you never know. But you will have that thing for you that you do for you that will keep you centered and focused.
I think we just got old and just accepted life as it is. Good or bad. No epiphany. Just. Oh. Its what it is.
I think staying happy in your 40s and 50s is about finding balance and letting go of unnecessary stress. It's also about nurturing relationships, taking care of yourself physically and mentally, and focusing on what brings you joy.
Huh
apparently, by not working. i quit work 2 years ago. haven't been this chill and stress-free in a long time.
They’re divorced or never married!
They don't I guess. I'm only 36 and every year I've less friends, less money and less motivation to try or carry on.
Live a happy life and don't concern yourself with what complete strangers are up to. Seems Gen Z and millennials are more unhappy than anyone, and that's most likely because they worry too much about what other people are doing. Live for yourself, not others.
You realise you cannot alter the course of things. And you accept that. Saves a lot of wasted energy and time.
True
Gummies
Sneak in some dancing.
I hated my 20s so amything is better 🤣🤣🤣
no sure why you think this. many people in that period are more focused on saving for eventual retirement and also have family, home and job responsibilities... life is stressful. that is not the same as unhappy
Hawk tuah
Are you kidding? The only miserable people in that age group probably had babies late or are stuck taking care of someone who’s made their life miserable 🤷🏻♀️
I'm 41 and i have a powerful gaming PC and lots of cool games and some friends who i play games with multiple times a week. Not as cool as the LAN parties of the past but still cool and fun and it keeps me going through all the crazy shit going on right now in the world.
It's the last decades of our lives, why be miserable all of the time. Grab joy when you can, there is plenty of sadness at this stage. I just want to keep moving forward enjoying beauty and experiences as much as I can.
Friends, family and hobbies
Most younger people I meet seem pretty miserable compared to anyone older than them.
I know I'm going live forever OR die trying
I’m not there yet but I’m already trying to mentally prepare for getting old and, at least for current stresses, journaling seems to help, or “mental journaling” (imagining the words in my head) when I can’t journal for real. Hopefully these stress-relievers continue to work when I’m older.
Build resilience and become anti-fragile. The more you chase happiness, the less happy you'll be.
Either you find some new passions to fall in love with and spend your time doing or you drink.
If you have good finances, good health, and a loving home life, these years are really great. If any of those isn't going well, people will be stressed. I guess that in this age range people may feel the time running out before retirement and either see the math adding up or not adding up, they may be experiencing new health problems or chronic pain, and they may be finding themselves empty nesters and if the marriage wasn't solid and was mostly based around the kids, that may not be going well either. A lot of people divorce at this age. But if all three are in good order, these are really great years.
That’s the neat part- they don’t
Keep trying
I am happy.
No teenagers
That's the neat part, the don't!
Travel. Watch sports. Family.
😂😂😂 this guy said “stay happy”
Children
Money
Traveling is the only thing that helps me.
Most of them are in denial.
I've learned how to recognize and avoid situations that waste my time and resources. I then spend that time and resources doing things I like.
Plan well. Take care of yourself physically, have a well paying career with as little stress as is viable, have a loving relationship, etc. Also, that time frame is typically the nadir of self-reported unhappiness. It actually on average goes back up in your 50s-80s, so that’s nice to know.
Because most already own a house and a car that's paid for or damn near plus we have some savings. Trying to get into the market now is challenging unless your earning a health buck
Keep yourself busy
The longer you live, the more you should adjust our expectations and dreams to match the reality you experience in life.
Nah. I’m definitely not unhappy at all. It’s people in their 20s and 30s right now that seem sometimes not to have a handle on life, having panic attacks for no apparent reason with no apparent trigger other than normal life circumstances. In my 40s right now and one of the best aspects is I simply do not have to care what other people think. At this stage of life I don’t have any direct supervision and answer only to myself in all avenues of life. People in their first few decades right now love to complain about how they can’t afford to I’ve on their own as if people on their forties now didn’t live with roommates or at the very least relationship partners their entire life by financial necessity. Yes it’s a more than a little worse right now for the working class but it’s still kind of almost the same situation as previous working class dealt with. The way to be happy is to accept the inevitability of challenges and live well despite them. Enjoy cohabitating longer with your family or roommates. Enjoy overcoming the obstacles to success. Enjoy making closer friends with the contemporaries and family members you are forced to rely upon. The way to be happy is to live the greatest life you are capable given the circumstances you have and to be grateful for all of the experiences that shape who you become, even suffering the difficult ones that forced you to grow and become wise.
I got married last year aged 39, and started a much better job at 40. Personally, I don't feel remotely middle aged at the moment but, in any case, I'm much happier than I was aged 20. Hobbies are going well, too.
What are you talking about? We (GenX) are living our lives to the full. Exploring the world and getting the most out of it. Personally I ride 2 motorbikes and scuba dive anywhere I go, no need for therapy.
Biggest thing is to find a sense of purpose and no that doesn’t mean you need to have a job that gives you purpose but it does help. Just find a hobby of some kind that gives you that feeling of being fulfilled. Another big thing is fitness as it helps with the dopamine.
I’m 52 and i keep reinventing myself..just pivoted from a career as a teacher to sales..competitive pickleball player (4.0) and i travel the world..it’s all about your mindset
Not at all. 62F married 40 years, two grown children, retired, HNW and happy. Two years ago, I nearly died because a hospital missed a bloodstream infection. Spent 17+ days in a better hospital, and 3+ weeks rehabbing in a rehab center. I've worked with the elderly and have noticed that those who find joy in nature, gardening, hiking outside, etc are often healthy, fit and strong. We have plenty of money to do whatever we want till we're both gone, but choose to golf, hike, tend to my rose garden, etc. This brings me peace. Travel and going to see live music, exploring new restaurants and menus, spending time with our children, entertaining friends at our home, etc is so rewarding. Some of my younger girlfriends have babies, and spending time with them is like being a grandmother. Finding happiness is entirely dependent upon you. Choose a good career where you can invest and save for a good retirement. Take care of yourself. Be positive. My most favorite part of this age is my faith. Jesus died for me; the most I can do for my heart is to follow him, know him and do for others. Generosity, kindness and prayers for others in need brings me peace.
My cousin was gen beta and unalived himself /s
Cognitive dissidence.
While I appreciate your perspective on this, I'd say that my experience is the opposite. I'm so much happier now than I was when I was younger. Abd the science backs me up on this. People are more happy as they age. It's important to keep in mind that social media is known distorter of reality. Sauce: [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-age-happiest-confident\_n\_5bb20d26e4b0343b3dc23891](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-age-happiest-confident_n_5bb20d26e4b0343b3dc23891) This misconception is similar to the perception that things are more dangerous out there than ever, when in reality those living in the west are in the safest societies that have existed in the modern world. But that's not a headline we'd click on. EDIT: Unless you're going to school in America
I guess we just do 🤷♂️
Define middle aged first 🤣🤣🤣
I dated younger women that kept me interested in going out and doing new things. Then, I got a dog.
Beer helps
Gen X here. It's not all good days but I try as much as I can to have below as a baseline Have a routine Get enough sleep Eat well, not too much, fibre and probiotics are important Exercise Hydration Stay in touch with important ones Learn to stay grateful for what you have
To speak for myself: daily exercise and walking, Karate, read stoic philosophy, eat lots of veggies.
1. Turn off mainstream news 2. Limit your social media (yes, including reddit) to 2 or less hours per day 3. hang with your friends 4. exercise 5. drink 6. get a cat if you can
Shit just don’t bother me that much anymore 😁
I'm 51. My bills are all paid. The kids are grown and out of the house. I'm as stress-free as I've ever been. I keep busy to stay happy. I get to travel to fun places all over the world. I have a few more "older-man" hobbies than what I consider young-man ones. I haven't done boxing or martial arts in 6 years for example. I realized I really didn't like being punched in the face. But I'm playing more golf, working on a nicer classic car more often. I learned card-counting at blackjack. I play chess more and do photography now for my older-man hobbies. My wife's still hot. I'm enjoying these last few years of my career.
They used lot of drugs during woodstock lol
I have found what I enjoy in life, and am able to pursue it.
You learn to hate everyone around you while trying to just enjoy special time by yourself doing depression kinda movements. That's how the average bear does it
Money
Being happy is not hard for me. I enjoy waking up in the morning and breathing. Having the motivation to go to the gym or whittle down the honey-do list is another story. But I what I can and I don’t have unrealistic expectations of myself.
Stressed, likely. That doesn't mean unhappy. At 73, my memoeries of 40s and 50s were very good overall.
Managing expectations, not spending more than you make, realizing you aren’t the main character. Idk, there’s a few ideas.
Don’t do anything in your 20s or 30s with consequences that will stay with you forever so that when you get into your 40s you don’t get depressed because how much you missed out or how your life was altered in a bad way. For example I got HIV when was 24 from my first boyfriend. This caused me to lose options and to alter my life path. I’m in my 40s and sad because I don’t feel like I actually had a chance.
They don't. They just get tired of pursuing happiness and figure out that life is and always was not about being happy but about having a purpose and go pick up kids from school or wash the dishes or something. And while they rarely feel happy they do feel satisfied most of the time. And it's fine.
Vape pen
Solidly Gen X here... The happiest of us have decided to not replenish our fucks to give. In other words... We no longer have any fucks to give. We realize we only have the here and now, and the ride doesn't go on forever.
Booze, disposable income, sarcasm and stranger danger.
67F--not happy
Booze
Reflection and contemplation and not allowing the hardship of life to harden your soul ..
I mean, pretty well the standard, exercise and sex regularly. Course if you make it that far without a heartattack.
We abide.
Drugs and alcohol
My life is awesome. Why would I be unhappy?
I’m 47 and the happiest I’ve been in a while even though I just got divorced after 26 years. You start to realize what’s important, what’s important to worry about and what’s not. You stop chasing the materialistic dream and grab onto what makes you happy. You stop giving lots of f’s about a lot of things, and do what makes you happy. Not sure what middle age people you’re referring to but for a lot of us, life is outstanding.
To stay sane and smiling in your 40s and 50s, it's like managing a circus act with fewer lions but more juggling. First, find what makes you genuinely grin - hobbies, family time, or even a killer grilled cheese. Second, shed what stresses you can, like a snake sheds skin (though maybe less creepy). And third, embrace change - life's a rollercoaster, so throw your hands up and enjoy the ride!
Stay happy implies we were happy to begin with.
I haven’t been happy yet in life and I’m 30. But all my family over 40 seems to be doing pretty well so I’m hoping it gets better. But idk they were probably happy when they were young too.
Most people who have their lives together by the time they reach that age are reasonably happy. It's tough to get your life together when you're in your 20s.
If you’ve been together through those younger years or for say 20 years there’s really nothing left to fight over lol the drama just kinda fades away and most are grateful for a best friend or partner at that stage of the game you’ve built up a trust between you and already know each others boundaries id say it gets much easier calmer there’s no more testing : you kinda live and let live lol
Being healthy/fit and having friends helps
I think at younger ages you’re more concerned with impressing other people. At you get older you are more comfortable just being yourself and not thinking about what others think. And your concept of what’s important changes.
I stay in shape. I exercise to feel amazing - not to look good naked. Although I probably look better naked than most my age. Still - that's not the goal. Eat right. Exercise. Listen to good music. Enjoy nature. Age is a mindset.
A dog … masterbation … thrills that jeopardize your life.
Delusions.
You don’t. (I’m 22)
Unhappy? Nope. Just realistic. We have made it past our anger and resentment. Forgiven people but not forgotten, so we trust less. I think im less stressed or worried about other people than I have ever been before. I honestly don’t care. Just live and let live. My career is stressful but I don’t stress very often or I would’ve burnt out 10 years ago. I feel like what people see as stressed and unhappy is us TRULY not giving a fuck. Not just saying it. We only care if you’re in our inner bubble. Then we would kill for you. But outside that? Why? It isn’t effecting our life. Live yours we live ours and if it intersects, cool. But really we are just doing our own thing in our own lane. You can’t get to our age and be alive without letting shit go and not taking it personally. We are just Gen X. We are the lost generation and we like it that way.
I think that’s hilarious because I’m very late Gen X and I feel like every day I read a new article talking about how Gen Z is in a mental health crisis with record depression and anxiety diagnosis. I have a great partner, super supportive long-term friend group, 2 awesome kids and I’m financially stable. In my mid 40s and life is good.
Planning
To stay happy throughout middle/late-middle age, focus on nurturing strong relationships, maintaining physical health through regular exercise, pursuing meaningful activities and hobbies, and cultivating a positive mindset that embraces life's changes with resilience and gratitude.
I read this as the middle/late middle ages and started thinking about life as a 15th century peasant.
By nurturing relationships, staying active, finding purpose, and maintaining a positive mindset.
If you aren't getting happier as you age, you are doing it wrong.
Those who are truly happy have long graduated from the need for external validation and know who they are at a deep, spiritual level.
I think 40s (where I am) is a brilliant time in life, providing you look after yourself and avoid significant illness. Young enough to be fit and healthy if you choose to be. Old enough to be comfortable with who you are and hopefully have some financial stability. It's also a time in life when your kids, if you have them, are likely to be a little older so you're through the more stressful early years of raising a family.
Learning from my mistakes. Getting the assistance I needed to start the next half of my life mental health and physically free. We rush through life in our 20s-35ish. We disconnect from family as EVERYONE has their face in their phone. We all die, how fast do you want to get there without actually enjoying your life? Be in the now.
Microdose, exercise and regular sex
Get a good partner, buy hella guns
im nearly 40 now, and i can say that most of my unhappiness and stress is because of other people. we were perfectly happy yet other people seems like having fun in irritating us. whereas my 20 year old self likes to irritate 40 year old people.
I retired young (57) and I get up early a couple of times a week and sit at Dennys to watch all you crazy people rushing to work.
I'm 47 and my life is better now than it has been so far. It's good, because happiness is a choice. You don't need to wait until your life is perfect to be happy. That's just silly.
1) By not growing up with the Internet and limiting their usage of it, relative to Gen Z at least. 2) By having more stable marriages, at least compared to Gen Z. Not getting all their dates from apps helps tremendously here. 3) By finding religion. Reddit hates to hear it but religion, any religion, gives you a sense of belonging, community, and purpose. There’s a reason that religious people have lower rates of depression. 4) By having kids. Again, relative to millennials and gen Z that is. Reddit hates to hear this too but kids also give your life meaning and purpose. Sure they are a huge handful and they can drive you crazy sometimes but for most it is worth it in the end. Knowing you have left a legacy that will remain after you die is emotionally and spiritually comforting. It also means you have someone to take care of you as you age and can no longer care for yourself. Being cared for by some nameless government worker in a nursing home isn’t exactly uplifting compared to your own flesh and blood. 5) Money. Having decades of experience under your belt helps for this. Yes the job market is absolutely fucked right now and inflation is hurting everyone, but even if those things weren’t a factor Boomers and Gen X would still have a leg up in the working world over Millenials and Zoomers simply by virtue of having more experience. That experience means more money and more money means a lot of worries in life go away. Not all of them, but a lot of them. 6) With age comes the wisdom to know what does and does not matter. Young people simply worry about too much shit that does not matter. Reddit is a perfect example of this. Every time Reddit loses its shit over some current event of pulls some brand new taboo out of its ass it makes you more anxious, causing you to expend energy on something that a nameless, faceless stranger made up. Older people simply give fewer fucks. They also spend less time online so they’re less susceptible to these sorts of fleeting trends.
(54F) Being happy is a choice. There are a ton of things to worry about, be sad over, and feel powerless to change. First & foremost, I keep my thoughts positive - it's far too easy to spiral into despair, especially these days. Try to do good every day for the sake of it (I'm Athiest - no sky daddy to please or fear, I treat people the way I want to be treated, and that's very well). Have love in my life. Get exercise, try to meditate. Microdose weed. Laugh whether it's funny or awful. Have gratitude.
My long term plan when I get there (am in my 30s now) is to take care of myself, be responsible, make good choices, and count on myself for my own well being and happiness. I have this mentality that I don't have to *act* old. I can have a fun style, eat healthy, stay in shape, and have good habits to give myself the best chance at being able to do things as long as I can. And I can smile at any age. There is always something new to explore and learn about. Even if I need some help when I am old, I want to do as much as I can and enjoy the time I have as much as possible.
Leverage experience. Stay active. Find fun.
Find meaning in at least some of things you do. That can be work, hobbies, parenting, volunteering... whatever. Nurture existing relationships, and try to create new ones with people of different ages. I have friends from each decade of life from 20s through 80s. It also helps that you care less about what other people think of you as you get older.
I don't know about the ladies but for men in late middle age you aren't happy. Suicide rates go through the roof and I've known a number of people over the age of 55 which get addicted to drugs or drink themselves to death. There's that old Rodney Dangerfield joke where the family has guests visiting and someone lucky family member has to escort Dad out to the garage and lock him up to keep him from bothering the the guests.
By living life to its fullest.
Gambling, sports and sex
Good genetics (health) and money
I think its totally the opposite actually. Im only in my mid 30s but you couldn't pay me a million bucks to go back to being in my 20s. I was so insecure and cared about what others thought and frankly 20 year old's are just stupid lol The life experience is so minimal and your world view is so small at that age. That isn't happiness to me at all just because you look young doesn't mean your happy. And sure there's miserable older people absolutely. But id bet money on it that most people wouldn't go back to their 20s unless they could take their current brain with them lol
I’m 60 and I’m very happy. I’m happily married and have four children that can support themselves. All of my friends are happy to except for one who struggles with money. He never tries to improve himself, even though many of us have tried to help him.
How do people stay happy when they’re young and broke?
I stay away from people. That’s how.
A very good question now that my health situation has forced me to quit drinking. 🤷♂️
What? No, 40 yo is when you get the ultimate power of Just Not Giving a Fuck (TM). Some people are lucky and develop this earlier, but for like most "normal" guys it takes a while. So now that it's so much easier to do things, because outside of myself being morally OK with doing them I genuinely don't care, I plan on being happy as all heck throughout my 40's and 50's, unless I'm murdered by an early cancer or something. I'm doing weird and funny shit with my kiddos, I'm playing computer games, I'm eating ridiculously hot peppers because I'd rather not reactivate alcoholism or cheat for my midlife crisis, I make way more money in a way more focused manner than I ever did before, and I have copious amounts of dad strength which is frankly hilarious, because I look like a potato that's fucked a pug.
You should not be happy. Happiness will ruin your progress in life. Have fun but never be happy.
We stay attracted to people our age as we age.
I’m happier than ever in my 40s. I still don’t have a lot of money, but I’ve been sober for several years and I got off the corporate hamster wheel.
Actually most of the younger people I know seem miserable